In answer to wondering and in response to this message
Posted By: New Englander on 2008-12-31
In Reply to: baby pics - Happy MT
I think its excellent. The Palins have as much right to be offered that as do Tom & Katie Cruise, Brad and Angelina Jolie, etc. The Palins have become the new celebrities and they deserve it after how much they were trashed through the election (and some still trashing them cos they can't let go).
Why would there have been any outrage from conservatives about the girl having sex before marriage? That's old hat. I've gone to some very "strict" churches and most all girls there are 16 and 17 years old and lots are pregnant. I think because so many are doing it now adays its not an issue anymore.
I find nothing hypocritical about it.
I say good for Palin/Johnson.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
wrong name to above/original message --- need answer!
x
Short answer: Yes, it's VERY rude. Long answer inside.
I wouldn't want my husband to ask, either. In fact, if he did and the people said yes, I still wouldn't go and stay with them, because I'd feel like they were pressured. Believe me, if they wanted you to come and stay with them at any point in the last 10 years, they'd have asked you. I, too, live near a vacation destination, and I hate it when people ask to stay with me. They're the rude ones for asking, but it puts me in an uncomfortable position of trying to politely say no. And it seems that when I do say no, the thwarted "guest" then complains to everyone else in our social circle that we are cheap, mean and unwelcoming.
Tell your husband to crack open the wallet and pay for a hotel.
the underlying read-between-the-lines message of the insurance lobbyist's message was (sm)
to, yes, appeal the denied claim. However, she lobbies for the insurance companies. She comes across sounding like she's on the patient's side but in reality she is on the side of the insurance company. The insurance company gets to deny whatever claims they want right off the bat. That leaves the SICK patient (who needs the coverage NOW when they are sick) to have to go through the appeals process. That could take quite a while. Imagine a cancer patient being denied some form of treatment that is going to help them. They now have to go through the appeals process (or pay out of pocket) in order for that treatment to be covered. In the MEANTIME their cancer is progressing. From the point of view of the insurance company, if they drag it out long enough they don't have to pay for it at all. That same insurance lobbyist was on 20/20 a little while back and basically came right out and said that the insurance companies COULDN'T AFFORD to pay for coverage for sick people. She's not on the patient's side.
Wow. I think this would be my response ...
I'd ask him what he wanted for supper and when he told me I'd tell him to go out and buy it.
LOL
Your response is what I have said all along
that being, people who are not there because of something they have done, but fell down on their luck, totally different. This is not covered under you do it to yourself type posts.
I did get a response....sm
the principal called me and said that 2 other drama students parents had called him about the same issue. The drama teacher did set a schedule at his insistence and sent it home with the students yesterday. It ends up that this is her first year teaching so I reckon' it's things like this that she still has to learn.
Thank you for your response! sm..
We have ordered one that has a built-in NTSC tuner that is supposed to get all analog programming as well as a built-in ATSC tuner that will take over on the digital channels. I'm anxious to see how this works. Thanks again.
Thank you so much for your response!
 It is the worst offender of my "falling out." I am seriously considering a reduction, which would hopefully take care of my problem. Thanks again for taking the time to respond!! I appreciate it!
In response
Thank you for your opinion. There are several reasons that we (my DH and I) chose the name that we did. The first is that we were looking for a name from both sides of our families, as my daughter has a family name and my other son does, too. The second is that my pop (step-dad) is a wonderful Papa to his grandkids, and his name happened to be one of the only names that were in both sides.
I do not feel that I discounted their feelings. They knew before he was born and never said a word about it.
My pop raised me. I love my daddy, and it is not that he did a bad job or didn't want me or anything like that, but he was sick and couldn't.
Thanks again, I do appreciate it!
response
I'm scared most days of the week with our kids (grown men), my husband's kids, grandkids and great grandkids ...It's nice to know there are people out there thinking of you and your daughter and trying to make good suggestions....Whatever she chooses, she'll be just fine. Cat
What can anyone say in response to that? (sm)
I read it and just thought "wow". I hope she makes it back safely. Your brother sounds like he is just trying to hold his family together while she goes through her crisis or whatever it is. I know someone who is behaving similarly to this and I don't understand. She is obviously being extremely risky in doing this. It's just crazy. I'm sorry your brother and his children are going through this.
In response -
I have a good job - I make over $50,000 a year working as a transcriptionist.
When I say "take care of me", I don't just mean pay my bills (although that would be nice too). I am very self sufficient!
In response -
I have a good job - I make over $50,000 a year working as a transcriptionist.
When I say "take care of me", I don't just mean pay my bills (although that would be nice too). I am very self sufficient!
response -- sm
hi. no. benadryl did not work. It does not appear to be an allergy of any kind. In my reading up on Lichen Planus, it did mention that corticosteroids helped some with the itching and the pain, but it never worked for me. There may be some homeopathic remedies on the internet, but you will have to investigate those. I have not tried yet, as for right now, my symptoms are in "remission". They did mention that stress tends to bring them out, as well. A person can be stressed about some things without really feeling stressed, but I have noticed also that when I am really upset about something, the symptoms will recur shortly after resolution of whatever I was stressed out about. I truly believe it is chemical-related and I am diligently attempting to de-chemical my home, with going "green" on everything. It is not easy, particularly with usual hygiene products, i.e. deoderant, soaps, etc. There are so many chemicals in EVERYTHING we use, wear, eat, that it is almost impossible to live without them. I know at the time of my last outbreak about a month ago, I had recently tried a different deoderant. I do believe that may have been the culprit along with some stressful situations I was undergoing at that time. I do not believe a regular medical doctor or dermatologist would be very helpful either, unless they really understand what Lichen Planus is and the symptoms it causes. My last outbreak lasted over a month. My mother recently had to stop using laundry detergent with dye and fragrence, as well, and I think the longer we are subjected to different chemicals, the more sensitive we are becoming to them. I hope your son begins feeling better soon.
I don’t see where your response had to do with anything, really. NM
m
Response
The son and the girlfriend both need to learn that adult actions have adult consequences. You teach people how to treat you. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. Your son is 18 and an adult and he needs to move out of your home and learn how to be emotionally and financially supportive to his child. Video games are no longer a priority. Learning to provide for the child is. The young lady needs to get out of the passive/aggressive drama queen role and grow up also. It's not about either one of them anymore, it's about the child (should she choose to carry it to term). The child is not a bargaining chip for money and attention. Quite frankly, you don't need her permission you can go to court and petition for visitation. Unless they both grow up, you're going to get stuck seeing more of that baby than you ever wanted to--you will be the dumping ground when they want to do something more "fun".
Response
I don't think you are being selfish. Are your husband and/or son developmentally challenged that they cannot read a calendar or see and understand all the ads on news and print media for Mother's Day specials? Please do not buy into this. You teach people how to treat you. Who says you have big behind? Don't allow this emotional and verbal abuse. Set some boundaries so they learn it is NOT okay to treat you this way. You are not the man's personal shopper; you are his WIFE and that merits respect. You are are a hard-working MT, from reading your post it's plain that you are bright and articulate, and you do not deserve a reprimand from someone else who for whatever reason did not followup with his own mother. You have a lot to be proud of in yourself. Smile in the mirror and remind yourself of that every day so you don't doubt yourself.
Response
My response is actually not going to reference my own mother/daughter relationships. The reason is that my own mother is now gone, and my relationship with my daughter is good. The relationship I think applies to what you're saying above is the relationship I have with my husband.
He acted for 20+ years as if he was always right, and I'm just the stupid numbskull he picked up alongside the road for kicks and giggles.
I went along with his program for many years. I catered to his every whim, followed him around like a puppy dog, and cried when he kicked me around like an incontinent puppy dog.
Then one day I woke up.
I found separate interests (I had actually had those interests all along, but had stifled them because they weren't HIS interests). I nurtured those interests. I truly realized that I am a WHOLE PERSON whether he is there or not.
When I finally got that through my thick little skull, guess what happened?
He follows me everywhere now.
Funny thing....
I find that annoying now.... All those years, I thought that that was all I wanted.
Guess I was wrong.
So my advice to you?
Go ahead and start keeping your daughter at arm's length. However, never forget she is your flesh and blood. But don't let her get under your skin. You're worthy and valuable whether she believes it or not!
When you really truly believe this, her whole attitude toward you will change.
Trust me.
Wondering
Dear Wondering-
You already have insight. Your heart and gut are talking to you or you wouldn't be posting this question. You are not in high school anymore. Remember, if he will do it WITH you, he will do it TO you. Do you want to be girlfriend on the side number two? If so, go for it. I would bet if you asked his current girlfriend of 7 years she would have an entirely different take on their level of committment. You are an intelligent woman. You are going through a lonely period in your life. Fill yourself up with friends that are worthy of you. Take another guy pal on your business trip with you and enjoy yourself!
Lilly
Wondering
You will be okay. Just take one day at a time. Sometimes that is the best we can do. My daughter became a widow at 29. It was a very difficult road for her. It sounds like your heart is healing and you are "waking up" out of that fog of grief. Bless your heart! You have a good head on your shoulders. That is a wonderful idea about bringing another MT friend with you to the out-of-town meeting. Enjoy yourself! My daughter is engaged to the most wonderful man now. She has been blessed to have two wonderful men love her, although she went through some difficult years. This will happen to you too. Aim high - don't settle for less. If you think you deserve the best, you will attract those kind of people to you. Best wishes!
I was wondering, too.
x
I could be way off but am wondering if she was
trying to detox herself off methadone and/or other drugs since her ex recently made that accusation. That may explain the *nurse* and the
*paramedic* bodyguard they brought along on the trip, why they left the baby home, and the flu-like symptoms (which they said was a stomach thing - methadone withdrawal can cause severe stomach pains) and if it was a stomach virus, then why cough/cold medicines? Cough medicine is known to be used to ease opiate withdrawal as it has similar properties as opiates. Valium is also frequently used when detoxing. There was also a mention she had fevers of 104-105 and was doing ice baths. Wouldn't most people go to the doctor at that point? How she actually died is still baffling to me but how sad if she truly was trying to straighten out her life. And perhaps we'll never really know for sure.
Here is what I'm wondering
If he really did not have the lowest votes and they changed it. You just never know :)
I have been wondering,,,,
Are chairs everywhere getting smaller or is it my butt getting bigger? Are these places downsizing? Hmmm, would like to know.
I am wondering too....
nm
Thanks! I was wondering what to do...n/m
x
Just wondering..........
I was just wondering if anyone else was having periods between their regular/normal cycles. This is definitely not the norm for me until now. I have had other symptoms since about 41 but my gyne just gives me some dumb grin, as if it is all in my head. Now, with the unusual bleed, I'm not sure what is going on.
That is what I was wondering.
Sorry, but I couldn't turn my child down for medical help whether I raised him or her myself or not.
Wondering
Wow! Forgive me, but I cannot even believe you are asking this question and even considering it! Forget trying to be the "cool" mom and do what you KNOW is right!
I was also wondering how she had $$ or if
she had a job. Another card to play, and its tough, but you can just throw it out there, is that if she does not straighten up, for lack of a better word, that you would speak to her employer. She's a minor, remember, 100% minor. So, you could throw out there that if she threatens to run away, you would have no choice but to mention this to her employer, as when she is at work, its their responsibility to be sure she doesn't leave, etc. Or that you would have to meet with her guidance counselor at school, etc. I'm sure she would rather do anything to avoid any sort of other authority interventions. Though that is what she needs as well. Sorry if they don't have guidance counselors - mine are homeschooled. But my guidance counselor in high school really tried to save me many times, while my parents never got involved. They just didn't want to know, though I was slick. I still got straight A's, graduated 2nd in my class, had a great job, etc. But I was running the streets nightly by the age of 14, and lived things I thought were great, but wished I never had a few years later. Its true that kids really want to be kids in the end. Also, I would not let her drive, as you had mentioned. So, dropping her off at work and picking her up - that will be a lesson in humility for her as well, but again, she needs not humility as much as being reminded that she is under YOUR authority and not the boss, and not an adult. As others have said, its tough love, and a hard balancing act. Know that you're not alone. Also know, though, that she is young and inexperienced, and you should be able to "bluff" your way a bit thru some of this hard stuff. I would bluff my way to hoarseness if I knew my kids were doing half the stuff that I did at 16. Please don't forget the big picture, though I know how its tearing your heart and soul to go thru this. Praying, praying, praying for you, too.
thanks I was wondering too!! LOL
so the zinc helps dry out your hair? I used to get highlights for that purpose because my scalp is so oily; i wasn't aware that a dandruff shampoo would dry out your scalp, thanks!
Wondering what you think...
If you saw a banner on a teen's MySpace that said "legalize marijuana" would you assume that the teen smokes pot?
Just wondering if anybody wants
to e-mail each other and get a support group started here. I also want to quit but am so afraid as I have support but not REAL support. Everyone I know is a nonsmoker or a former smoker. The former smokers (who are the worst) expects me to just put the cigarette down and that I should have no problem with quitting. It just takes guts and nerve. No...you guys quit many, many years ago...I am scared, I have no support, I don't drink or take drugs to make up that vice I have. I don't knit or crochet to keep my hands busy, I enjoy my cigarette after my dinner and with coffee in the morning. Without the cigarette, the other enjoyments are nothing. So what do I do?? How bout we start a support group for us?
E-mail me so we can get things started if you would like.
Just wondering where you met him? nm
x
Just wondering if you have ever had
a conversation with him about just what made him snap when he hit you?
To answer your question, of course there are many marriages where abuse never happens. But maybe the question you should be asking, as you still seem hesitant that you are doing the right thing, is are there any marriages that have survived and even improved after physical abuse has occurred?
Still wondering?
Why couldn't he buy his own condoms? Does he not know how to shop?
Still wondering?
Why couldn't he buy his own condoms? Does he not know how to shop?
Wondering - sm
Is anybody really holding out for this money to go purchase goods? I mean, I wonder because everyone I know says they are going to save every penny of it and still not buy anything they do not absolutely NEED.
Just wondering, have you seen a
psychologist or the and try to work out your difficulties? I do not read the links but someone else might enjoy. Anyone with just an inkling of sense knows that what works for 1 might not work for another. I saw a deceased child 1 time in a morgue from a tonsillectomy, so please!
Just wondering,
do you think you would enjoy listening to Adam as much on the radio or a CD if you could not see him performing? So much of his entertainment is his stage presence, which is understandable since he has been in theater for so long. His range is incredible and I like him but I was just wondering if you think he would translate well to radio.
Thank you for a well-written response
Of course, there are parts of what you say I agree with and parts I don't. :)
In my case, I had to step in or the state would have taken the child. The dad was a bum...but when I look at how he was raised and the he** he went through, I understand how scared he is of even trying to be a father. I don't excuse it, but I understand it. I understand it all the way to family court where I will be getting a child support order against him next month <G>. Got one on my own daughter, already. My daughter was born with a mental illness and was a teenage mother. It was a time bomb that finally exploded in a world of drug abuse. But to treat the addiction without the mental illness will never result in a productive member of society. So...that being said, holding these 2 parents accountable is futile...other than financially (okay, even I laugh at ever seeing any of that money). They are infrequent visitors in my GC's life. That is simply the way it is.
I look at European countries and see multigenerations living together even still, where the older family members help raise the young children so the parents can support the entire household. That was what I meant about a community raising children. We as Americans don't function in that way overall as a society. We splinter and break apart and when young adults need help, often it means the children go somewhere else (usually aunts, uncles, grands). Sometimes in divorce, one party has more _power/control_ (usually due to finances) and has a greater say in how, who and where the children are raised. I suspect there is some of this dynamic occuring in the OP's life that she felt she couldn't share. (My story is out there...but some are not as open). Some divorced people use children as pawns, and this, too, is as sad as parents who cannot take responsibility for their offspring.
But I do fully support any parent, who for the sake of the children, can try to enrich their young lives and teach them tolerance, patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and learn how to deal appropriately with situations so that they can grow into strong, proud adults. I suppose my point in all this was in my original response. Bad things can be found everywhere...but if we can teach our children how to deal with them in a positive way, we have given them the gift of maturity.
Thank you for your response. I did appreciate reading it and respect what you had to say.
LOL................very funny response!!!!
 
My take on your husband's response is...
For him to have made this response, that "I think she wants me," after your having told him that there was a potential job opening that seemed attractive makes me think your husband is insecure. For a man to mouth those words to his wife, whether true or not, is a sign he is trying to attract your attention, in my mind. I say this as I think that if she were coming on to him, you'd have picked up on it first of all and secondly, she'd certainly not want the wife of a man she was giving the proverbial wink to, working with her at the same company.
Is he depressed or is he possibly feeling insecure because he has to rely on your income and he knows you are not satisfied in your job situation, I wonder?
See response to your above post
Always respond regardless that the response is
Unfortunately, many people think if they don't respond you are supposed to take that as a "No". That is just bad manners. I once responded to a candle party with a "Yes" and the hostess even said, well I just put that on their. You didn't really have to call. Go figure.
The strange response is actually yours
or you didn't get the sarcasm/humor of my post. Ever hear that saying? lol
agree with other response-
my mom says things to me that sometimes take me aback - like talking about moving further away (from all three of her kids - I am closest in distance - 2 1/2 hours) so that it will be impossible to see her at all - I don't get to see her much because I work 2 jobs to make ends meet - I don't know whether she is trying to make me feel guilty - my dad died a little over a year ago - and I was there once a week for a couple of years - so I think I did everything I could and refuse to feel guilty - I just think that older people sometimes get a little like 2-year-olds - they may be a little depressed, a little self centered - they just don't realize how much they hurt us - but they are gone before we know it - I just bite my tongue and don't respond, and then act like nothing happened.
it's an overwhelming response
in here. I think we may have to do some second thinking if we're going to buy that house or just wait a little more before we get stable. We're just thinking about the welfare of our baby, like living in a comfortable place, not getting sick, etc. I forgot to say that it was our net income, excluding taxes, health insurance, etc.
Just saw this, response inside..
First of all, I do want to say that I respect your opinion and appreciate what you have to say.
I do live with the choice I made, and I even agree with living with the consequences. There are two things I disagree with, however:
1. Family is the most important thing in life. If they are hurt, angry, dissapointed, they should have come to me but they chose not to, and that breaks my heart the most. In the same line of things, as a mother my job is to protect my family, and pretnding my some does not exist is not going to make things better. Family is supposed to work things out.
2. I am not a self-centered person. It is your right, of course, to view me that way because you only know of me what you have read here. Had I ever dreamed, even for a moment, that my family would have been hurt by this I would have reconsidered.
I am sorry that you feel like your brother's existance was erased. Have you talked to them about it?
I guess my whole point is that my family relationship should not ever have been damaged by a name. That makes no sense to me at all.
Naming my son after my pop does not mean I love my dad less. It does not mean that I love my family less, or that he has been "erased." It doesn't even mean that I love my pop more, and the people that do know me should know that. I think of my dad everyday, always have and always will.
Well, I am and thought my response thru
and now know why they feel they need to keep up with them. I am very, very liberal in my thinking, being older has nothing to do with that. My son asked 1 time what masturbating was and I told him jerk,ng off so no prude here- regardless my age, think invasive and so did my daughter -in her 30s. Next statement......
My response to your responses, etc.
First of all I am glad so many of you used this board to share your feelings on this issue of hating cats. I have read each one of your posts a few times over and agree wholeheartedly. I have also felt that this issue goes a lot deeper than not liking something with 4 legs and a tail that meows. That is why I brought it up. It is frustrating to say the least and something I could never understand.
Some of the people I have come in contact with who make these remarks will also out of the other side of his or her mouth proudly state how they love animals, just not cats. The last time I checked a cat was an animal. I can certainly understand having favorites, we all do. What I don't understand is selective animal loving.
One of you posted that you feel these people are missing something. That really hit home with me and actually brought me to tears. I have missed so much in my life having no children, etc. I used to get angry over circumstances I could not control and actually felt I was being punished in some way. All around me are people with what seems to me to be everything. One thing God made sure I had all my life is the ability to love and receive it 100 times over from animals. It has literally been life saving for me. There is a history of abuse in my past, and this is one love I am not afraid of.
The post that spoke of cats being looked at as evil, the black cat at Halloween hit home, too. That post opened my eyes to a lot of things. My friend I spoke of who went shopping with me and shouted all day long about hating cats said that her mother doesn't like them either. It really does seem to be an attitude that in many cases has been passed down to the next generation. My mother, 90 years of age now, has always and will always have a spot in her heart for cats. She loves them dearly, but because she has dogs who don't tolerate cats she does not adopt cats. My grandmother as well loved them.
I guess when I see a cat I see an animal with elegance and beauty, an individual little soul that walks and cannot be heard or peeks between the railing of my niece's stairway and then very gingerly comes downstairs to sit by the front door. No one can expect everyone to love them, but the one post that said hate is such a strong word says it all. One post said how cats kill birds, etc. I don't like that either, but it is instinct. My friend had an English Springer Spaniel some years ago and called me crying, saying her dog was a MURDERER! She said she looked out the kitchen window and saw Daisy shaking a little rabbit. The rabbit died and Daisy went on her way. It is animal instinct, and nature can be very cruel sometimes. My mom sat at the living room window 4 years ago and saw a snake come over the roof to get at a bird nest we had been watching. We were anxiously awaiting the flight of the babies. It never happened.
Some don't like cats rubbing up against their legs, etc. I guess I could never hate anyone or anything that was just expressing love to me. I value what some others hate, and that's part of life too. I am not preaching, just letting some feelings out and learning a lot at the same time.
In my local shelter just a few miles from my apartment by last count about 5 weeks ago there were 500 cats waiting for adoption, and yet down the road from where my mother used to live year after year appears a sign in the front yard a few times a year . . Free Kittens. Like me, so many live in apartments, etc. that do not even allow pets.
Thanks again for letting me open up and let it out. It has helped, and hearing your comments has helped to understand a little better. I have a few little stickers on my dashboard that says it all. It is from the ASPCA. It reads very simply
We Are Their Voice.
God bless you and God bless all animals.
|
