In a nutshell...if dad or mom want to help...

Posted By: phillychick on 2008-04-03
In Reply to: Any kids with wife#2 are living at home and being - supported by him. But in the words of wife #2 S

pay for college, let them. If they choose not too, who cares? My DH doesn't pay for anything for my grown kids, just as he doesn't pay for anything for his anymore. We don't have kids at home, have never had any at home in our entire 8 year marriage. He did his part and paid his child support until his second daughter turned 21. Now it's over and done with, a big relief, and an extra $1000 a month. As I said earlier, college is a privilege, not a right. If his girls couldn't save a cent for college but had money for new cars, Ipods, cell phones, spring break trips, etc, that's not his fault! Their mother supposedly taught them how to take care of themselves....in other words, find a man to take care of you!

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Divorced parents college agreement? - Need Help!
- Parents DO NOT owe kids college education. - SM
  - I agree - jlynn
    - But you would have if you could have, and above poster did try (sm) - Surprised in Carolina
      - Yes. . but - jlynn
        That is true - I agree with you there. (nm) - Carolina
      - As poster of daughter who misused college help - SM
        I think you are making a mistake and son will eventually resent you for that (sm) - Carolina
        If he starts by helping himself, I will jump in. He saw - how DD took advantage. nm
        That makes sense (nm) - Carolina
    - Your daughter sounds wonderful.. - phillychick
  - Thank goodness, another voice of reason! - phillychick
  - She made her choice but parents at least owe their kids a chance (sm) - Carolina
- My husband's ex wanted him to pay (of course), but - phillychick
  - There's more to college costs than just - mtroadie
    - Actually, the children were not dumped out... - phillychick
      - If father thought child support was not being spent - on kids, he should have gone back to court. nm
        Yep! I think both parents copped out. (nm) - Carolina
      - Well, that's different but - (sm) - Carolina
  - I am not against paying for your child's - college.......
    - oops - meant i don't think either parent
  - Of course he should help and he paid child support because they are his kids (nm) - Carolina
    - Any kids with wife#2 are living at home and being - supported by him. But in the words of wife #2 S
      - In a nutshell...if dad or mom want to help... - phillychick
        I think in this day and age parents should plan a way for their kids to attend college (sm) - Carolina
    - Hmmm. they're her kids too... - phillychick
      - ex-wifes - anom
      - They are both the kids parents - they should both help (nm) - Carolina
  - Do you have kids with this man? DO you want him - to pay for college for your kids with him? nm
    - Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over. - phillychick
- My ex makes a lot more $$ than me so - anon
- I did not receive any child support, so we agreed to - sm

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LOL - sounds like medical transcription in nutshell! nm
hehe

Your son has ADHD, probably combined type along with opposition defiant disorder in a nutshell...sm
Been there for 14 years. Tantrums, fighting constantly with younger brother and sister to the point of injury, i.e. kicking, punching, slapping, throwing hammers, knifes, hard soled shoes, scissors, you name it. He is wonderful outside of the house. He is considered a very nice boy who is very well mannered and a hard worker (as he likes to do yardwork. That part of it is the ADHD at work). I knew something was wrong when he was about 1 1/2 years old and his sister came along and he started hitting her right away. Everyone from teachers to counselors told me it was all my fault and that my son had found a great way of manipulating me. That is...until the fourth grade when two weeks after school started a miraculous thing happened. His teacher called me in to say something was terribly wrong and that she suspected ADHD. I got the referral for testing with a pediatric neurologist and he was diagnosed with ADHD combined type (the hyperactive part), oppositional defiant disorder, and a learning disability. It has been a tortuous 14 years, I can tell you that. I have four more years to go and although I love my son more than words can say, at the age of 18 HE IS OUT THE DOOR!!!