If you came out in 1975, that had to be extremely difficult - sm
Posted By: Interesting topic on 2008-03-27
In Reply to: Not at all interesting... - open minded
for you. I know that had to take a lot of courage and strength on your part. Good for you.
I can never put myself in someone else's shoes but I can speak as a mother and a friend. The stigma that goes with the word "gay" needs to just disappear. It's getting better but has a long way to go.
When my son came out, I explained to him that like anything else outside the "normal" is going to take some time for people to really accept. Fortunately, there are many people who already do accept the lifestyle, even if isn't one they share.
We accept it because we love the people for who they are, not how they live.
Good for you. No condemnation from me.
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How does everyone deal with difficult, and I mean extremely difficult, people. sm
I'm not even talking about family members. Just people in general. Especially the ones who are so kind to your face but you know clearly don't like you one bit. I have a few of those in my life. UGH! And I'm so kind that it eats me up inside, but I won't dare say anything to their faces. I just come on public forums like this anonymously and vent my anger and frustration!!
I met with someone today who told me to "love them," and feed into them and show them that you are not this vile person they make you out to be. How do you do that? I'm learning that people, especially women, are just impossible to deal with. And I'm a woman!!!
I have known him since, oh 1975
but he just says things like where he went to school, etc. just not important, that he has told me "everything" he knows. If you knew how reserved he is, not ever wanting to have the limelight shown on him, you probably would understand. I know family members that also talk about how private he is. Just a real private person, calm, cool, collected, never a bad word about anyone, never a disagreement, never a fuss. Oh don’t get me wrong, he talks around me and occasionally I will get a breakthough on something he is thinking but mostly keeps his thoughts to himself, now me, that is another subject. Heck, I didn’t even know until a g'child of mine told me he played guitar, that I even knew that and then when he plays goes in his bonus room where he keeps guitars, amps, etc. and plays by himself, quits playing if someone walks in.
I went in 1975, with my sister who had already seen it.
the scary surprises were just about to happen. Like when the guy was diving next to the rowboat, and the guys's head bobbed into view inside. I think my sister's reaction to that freaked me out even more than the movie did!
If you watch it on TV now, you can tell it was a rubber shark (named 'Bruce'!) But Steven Spielberg was so good at creating the FEAR, long before you ever saw what it was you were supposed to be afraid of, that by the time you finally saw Bruce, you TOTALLY believed he was real.
At my "crossroads" moment in 1975, -
my friend took court-reporting in school and I took medical transcrioption. I had a job in 3 months, whereas my friend was in school full-time for about 3 years. Now, she is still a well-paid, respected member of her profession, which HASN'T been outsourced to India. And me? Well, we all know how it's going in MT.
As a child, I'd have stuck with ballet instead of quitting.
In high school & college, I should've majored in business instead of taking the easy way out majoring in art.
I should've continued in college and gotten a degree, instead of quitting after 2 years.
I'd have learned a 2nd language (Spanish) & become fluent in it. It sure would come in handy nowadays! My account hospital actually has Spanish-interpreters as employees. I'll bet they make 3 times what I make as an MT. Also, learning that 2nd language seems to turn on a little switch in your head, so if you want to learn a 3rd and a 4th language, etc., it's 1000 times easier.
I'd have listened to my dad more when he tried to teach me important things, instead of blowing him off every time he opened his mouth.
In the 70's, my sister, my aunt, and my cousin all took an epic car-trip all over Europe. I was supposed to go, but backed out at the last minute. That was a dumb mistake.
I'd have gotten a tutor in math, instead of parking my butt in study-hall, where instead of studying, I daydreamed & doodled.
this has been extremely trying on all fronts-
she always had a DD - and I asked her if she did not that night - she did - but she only had 1 beer and assumed she was okay - but the cops sit outside the bar and watched her - and unfortunately she is gorgeous and I am sure that is part of the reason he decided to follow her. He just pulled her over without any infraction. I think most of us assume that 1 drink is okay but she is very tiny and she learned the hard way that it wasn't the case. Taking away licenses doesn't prevent the chronic offenders or chronic alcoholics from driving again because they really don't care. Since I have done trauma and pain management transcription I am quite aware that a very high percentage of people driving are under the influence - frightening!
I use it for extremely dry skin -
have a spray of it that I use on my arms legs, feet right after a shower when still a little damp, and I love it. It helps more than several lotions.
She is extremely needy.
xx
IMO. she's extremely attractive, but....sm
She's fixing to have the majority of Americans come down on her like white on rice for that little error. :D :D
That is an extremely fair pay and I would expect
them to do a great job for that. I have had the same problem with them starting out good and then having to go behind them like you said. I would first start out clearly stating what you want done and that you expect a good job consistently, even 6 months down the line. That is what I've been telling everyone I've talked to is that I need a consistent job each time.
Extremely weird and maybe disturbing to some,,,,,
I used to have a dog that masturbated. No joke. Not seen anything like it since.
Not sure where to post...extremely complicated...
OK - this is going to be a shocker post, but if I went too much into detail, I would be here for a day-and-a-half - my main question is this - does anyone know why a 7-year-old little boy would be wetting his bed every single night? All I can think is abuse and have researched it and know there are other reasons possible, but given the situation, again, all I can think is abuse...
This is a REALLY messed up family:
The situation is my sister-in-law has been incarcerated for hiring someone to kill her husband. She has 7 children, 2 children out on their own, and 5 minor children that have been split up between family members. The youngest is the 7-year-old that I mentioned above. He was born out of wedlock and her husband adopted him when he was 5. Her husband is an alcoholic - a bad one.
Her husband did not die but called 911 and got help. He is out of the hospital now and has had regular visitation with my 7-year-old nephew. The husband and his family members, who he has been staying with, claim that he is not drinking and they have a "no tolerance" policy in their home, but now he wants to keep my nephew and live with him in the house where he was attacked, just the two of them.
My other sister-in-law has had this little boy since this incident happened and stated that he wets his bed every single night. Without fail. He just turned 7 this month. I have his 2 half-sisters in my home, and they told me that he has been doing this for as long as they can remember. They are 10 and 11.
I am sorry if this post is disjointed and does not make sense. The bottom line here is I am suspecting something really bad and I wanted to get some opinions. Does anyone have any knowledge or experience with nocturnal enuresis in a child that age? Should I be worried?? He wants to take this boy from now on and have him live with him, and we really don't know what we can do about it! I just have a really bad feeling...Thanks.
We had an extremely close call...twice
One night our family went for a walk our neighborhood. DD had our Maltese on a leash and DS has our Jack Russel on a leash. It was just turning to dusk and a car was coming up behind us. Our neighborhood is a housing development so there are no sidewalks. We separated DH and DD went to one side of the road and DS and I went to the other side. Well our maltese is attached to me at all times and didn't like being separated from me. She pulled so hard she broke the little metal ring on the harness and ran right in front of the car. The car wasn't going that fast but some how Casey ended up running out the back of the vehicle and straight home he was so scared. I was screaming, we raced home and there he set on our front porch with a tiny little cut on top of his head. The people in the car did stop and then came to our house to check on him.
The next scare was even worse. Took both dogs to the vet and DD was taking them to the car while I was paying the bill. She ran back inside and said Lilly (the Jack Russell) got loose. I ran out the door as Casey was running back inside (looking for me). Well went spent 20 minutes running all over the neighborhood trying to find Lilly. Finally she had run in someones garage and when they realized what was happening shut the garage door and then let us in their front door so we could get her. Thanks heavens there are real animal lovers out there.
I know someone who had a procedure because it became extremely painful -nm
:)
Come on, Ella, extremely attractive?. How and where?...nm
nm
What an extremely tacky and insensitive
x
FYI -- she had an extremely good reason
to become addicted. Her doctor said her neck/spine is so damaged not many people would be walking around (multiple plates in her neck) and also the pain meds they had her on would knock out a 300-lb. man. Between dancing injuries and the plane crash she is in, she was in constant pain for a very very long time.
That's quite difficult (sm)
The title of your post said "preaching." How do we know what your post is about so that we may avoid the religious posts as you suggested? In the title of your post, are you simply using a one-word paraphrase of the post you are responding to or are you, in fact, preaching? The only way to know is to open your post. Once opened, it's another preachy post.
To each their own!
difficult because
My 15 year old son. Everything he wants is over $200.00. But I don't buy him anything of that techno stuff, so I have to get pretty far out there and hope he loves me enough to considering it a good Christmas present anyway.
Thanks. It's been difficult but
I am now pregnant again and although I will always struggle with the loss, I have happier times to look forward to now and try not to dwell on the past.
I don't think she really meant it that way but its exactly what she did. I was more taken aback by the feeling that she still thinks it was the right thing to do, no regrets, etc. I understand life being in a difficult place and safety was an issue for her and the baby. But to justify the decision because of where her life was at the time, I don't agree. She made those decisions (good and bad) all on her own. To some extent this was a major factor for her to decide to change her life in many ways and follow a different (much better) path.
You are either a troll, liar or extremely dysfunctional....
take your pick. Oh, and if true, please get spayed!
Need help with difficult child
I have 3 children, ages 11, 8 and 5. My 8-year-old has always been a difficult child, starting in early infancy. He was always fussy and became quite stubborn during his toddler years. He is now 8 years old and I really have my hands full. He can get quite mouthy with his father and me (married and live together) and has even got physical with me. He has always been physical towards his brothers and is always fighting with them. He has given his teachers a hard time as well as my parents, who spend a lot of time with him.
One time when I was driving up the highway 55 mph, he became very upset (can't remember over what now) and actually slid the van door open to jump out. I realize the child lock should have been on but wasn't due to adult passengers that weekend (is always on now). He becomes so angry so quickly, and I'm really very scared for him.
I have tried several tactics for discipline/help in this situation and nothing seems to work. Some things are short-lived results, others no result at all. We have tried rewards charts, timeouts, loss of privileges, spanking (very short-lived and didn't work anyway) as well as professional counseling with a child psychologist.
The child psychologist spent about 3 months of weekly to every-other-week sessions with my son and wasn't able to give me any insight as to why he is so angry. He indicated to me that my child definitely showed signs of anger through his drawings and behaviors, but he wasn't able to get any clear reason for it. He also seemed to be not so interested in what was causing the problem as he was in dealing with it. My take on it is that I need to know what I'm dealing with before I can begin to fix the problem.
My child has never been abused or traumatized. My parents and sister have been the only caregivers, other than myself and my husband, to care for him. My 2 other children behave fairly well. I can't understand what's going on with my son. I've tried to talk to him about it, but I can't get any answers.
I'm beginning to think he has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or possibly bipolar disorder. His mood swings are so severe, I never know what to expect. What really has me jammed up is that when it's just me and him or just him and his dad and he's getting all the attention, he's pretty much great. Therefore, I know he's capable of good behavior.
Has anyone else ever had a child act like this? Any ideas or suggestions? Please don't bash me, my nerves are on end already. I know I need to get this situation under control before it gets any worse. I just don't know where to turn anymore. My mom says *tough love*, but I've tried that with him and it doesn't seem to have any effect on him. Once when he really misbehaved, I put him in his room and took out all the toys and knick-knacks, so there was nothing but his bed and dressing in there. I put a door lock on the closet and shut the door. When I came back to check on him about 1/2 later, I found him lying on the floor and he had unscrewed all the knobs on his dresser. He was only 5 at the time. It's like he's trying to get even with me for something I didn't know I did to him.
Difficult child
I feel for you mom, I can't imagine! My 2 boys are pretty good, I got lucky. It sounds to me like, if he can behave for OTHER people, than it might not be a disorder. My cousin had a kid like that. If I were you, I would DEFINATELY get a 2nd opinion, it doesn't s/l the 1st person was very helpful at all. You don't just give up (not you personally, the therapist) on a child and say "I don't know why he's like that!" He should have referred you to someone else. I would see what the 2nd therapist says, and go from there. You need to find one that is willing to work with you and your child, someone you and your boy are comfortable with, who will answer your questions and not give up on you, etc. If all else fails, there is always Dr. Phil...Good luck and keep us posted!
it will be a difficult conversation obviously
At 12 and 14 they are plenty old enough to be told the absolute truth. Let them have some time to process it, and then take them for a visit.
They like to make it difficult.
And you can't do it online. So call customer service, and just say no. The service rep is trained to make various offers to get you to change your mind. Just say NO, and ask for a supervisor if you have to. You're going to have to say NO more than once, but it's your money, and you have every right to keep it in your pocket rather than give it to them.
It would be pretty difficult for me because
I was raised on a farm. As long as my parents are living, I imagine I will eat meat whenever they visit. Recently, at home my immediate family has been doing without meat, but we eat meat if we go out to eat. I think it is very healthy to go without meat, but I also think eating a little meat is perfectly healthy too. I am a little concerned about mistreatment of animals and people in factory farming/packing, so I like to eat at Chipotles and buy cage-free eggs.
I live on the East Coast where this is extremely common
for "older" women to be having babies. As long as you're healthy, I don't see it should be a problem. I was WAY too young when I had my daughter (19) and really wish I would have waited until I was in my 30s. The biggest problem I see here with women in their 40s having babies is that a lot of them are so focused on their careers that they don't spend enough time with their kids. I would think 39 would be okay, but you really are greatly increasing your risk of complications/birth defects if you wait much longer.
Of course they will listen. Mental abuse is extremely prevalent
and the abuse counselor will tell you the cycle of violence, here's an example you may recognize from him: First there is grumbling or little comments that demean you. You question yourself because he just seems to be "trying to help you," then, there is using finances, threats to take things away including children, controlling who you see, where you go, even what you think, then when you voice an opinion the violence. Starts out verbal. Will definitely lead to physical some day. He will also try the "crazy making," If you know the moon is blue for example, he will say it is green cheese, and then make you feel like you are the crazy one. You will question your reality and the truth that the moon is blue. You will become confused.
Then, a gift will appear, some form of kindness from him. You will forgive him figuring you were wrong, maybe it was you, maybe he will change, or whatever. You give in to him. Then it starts all over again, the grumbling. It is like clockwork. This is a proven fact with abusers. These people never change. A minute percentage do seek counseling, but the control they desire is too rooted in their being and their identity. They feed off of this control. Once the person they control is gone for good, they will seek someone else out.
Mental violence is a crime. Stalking is not just physical for example, phone calls, constant badgering when you say no, or say stop treating me this way, this is violence. I could go on about it, but please call the hotline and forgive me for being wordy here. Make that call and all will fall into place.
Adults need one, too. Imagine how difficult it is
for parents who feel the guilt/burden of knowing they cannot provide a Christmas for their babies. I've been there. I know how it feels.
One of my resolutions for 2007 is to pay a set percentage of my gross income to a dedicated cause locally. I'm not sure yet whether I will work with the light/water company to provide assistance for those on shut-off notices (they seem to have less options than anyone else) or help provide transportation to/from doctor visits for elderly/handicapped individuals, but I am going to do something.
It's not difficult either to refuse to consume
garbage posing as information.
Your choice.
I would totally ignore them. Difficult as it is
if you do not give them a moment of attention or let them know you are offended - they will eventually stop. Why play their game - stoop to their level? Then they have won
My hubby does this work also and says it is the most difficult
job he has ever done. No - it is not physical - you are not outside in the element - but it is draining. I agree with others - put headphones on him and make him sit at your desk - just make him type a paragraph - I guarantee he will change his tune - so sorry - don't let him get to you - he obviously does not appreciate you
i also work for 2 PS..and it's a difficult surgery
and my plastic surgeons dictate the risks in detail of a brachioplasty and they also have their patients speak with other patients who have had the surgery....I have always wanted to have upper arm lifts but after working for these particular 2 docs (among many others) for 11+ years, I think not!! I would also think a *re-do* would leave even more scars/dents.......
Hi, it is difficult to restore shine when it is gone, but...sm
" Eventually, no matter how diligent you are about cleaning, your no-wax
floor will lose its shine. Then, believe it or not, the best way to
make it new-looking is to wax it.
Use a water-based self-polishing
wax.
Whenever possible use a product recommended by the manufacturer.
If you don't know who the manufacturer is, get a recommendation from a
reputable flooring contractor in your area.
Yes!! I get extremely bored and have trouble staying focused on typing. sm
Some days I am so bored I dont know how I am going to get through the day!!
Have an extremely strong accent when speaking foreign languages,....nm
nm
I agree with this poster's mother - it is difficult
Things have changed a lot and obviously it is easier now than it was when I did it (dated someone from a different race)- but there are sometimes huge cultural differences, not only in different races but in same race from very different parts of the country. A lot of traditions that you find important - someone very culturally different (same for religion for that matter) may not. You have to be thick skinned and very committed. A good partner is hard to find.
Is it difficult to blend or get the hang of applying it? NM
NM
Who's the most difficult person(s) you have to buy gifts for at Christmas?
I'd have to say my mom, because if there's something she wants, she buys it herself.
This IS the absolute best way to deal with difficult people.
Unfortunately, this is the way that I have to deal with my own mother. I never tell her anything, or she broadcasts it to the world, twists information, gossips and criticizes. After about 40 years of it, I finally just stopped giving her any information about what goes on in my life, except for the very basic, surface type things. Ironically, my aunt advised me to do this, and said that most of the family has to do the very same thing!
Just bought a Kodak digital camera without optical viewer and find the LCD screen is very difficult
to see what you are taking in bright sunlight. I just read on the internet this happens with many cameras. Any suggestions for this. I dont want to spend tons of money on a camera because I dont use them that often but I am not very happy with this. I tried to get a camera with the optical viewer but almost none of them except the really high end had this. A lot of people complain about this LCD washout. Just wondered if there is any fix for this without getting another camera. This is a Kodak Easyshare. Great in cloudy weather or inside but the sun is another story. 
Difficult based on taste, easy based on ethics.
I was a vegetarian for 10 years, then a vegan for about 5 before meeting my husband, i.e. Mr. Barbecue. He thinks he will die of starvation if he doesn't have some form of animal flesh on his plate at least twice daily. I do eat meat minimally now but not without guilt about the way the animal was raised and slaughtered. I don't believe meat is healthy either, esp. because of the hormones, antibiotics and unnatural feed commercial livestock receives. I have free-range chickens and use their eggs, and I buy raw milk from a local small farmer whose cows graze freely on organic grass. I am working my way back to a meat-free diet in spite of my DH. Can't wait to shed the 20 pounds of animal-fat blubber I've accumulated and get my cholesterol level back down to where it used to be! You just have to give peas a chance.
Teens!! -- Difficult times for teens and parents. (sm)
You must feel as though you are at your wits' end -- just don't let your son know that. I encourage you to continue to practice assertiveness/"tough love." Do not argue with him; give him a couple of choices when situations arise. Don't allow him to be disrespectful.
It sounds as though your son needs attention. His negative drug test was a "positive"; praise him!!!
.Smile every time he walks into the room.
.Every day find something positive and praise him often for even the smallest thing.
.Everyone has talent(s); what's you son's interests. Show him you are interested.
.Consider Big Brother/Big Sister (maybe a retired teacher will be available)/the "Y."
.Chores/responsibilities -- mowing lawns (earning spending money), assisting at a local nursery, household chores. Keep him busy!!!
.Have him plan/prepare a meal and invite a friend for dinner/movie.
.Watch a movie together.
.Play a little basketball together (my favorite!).
.Attend church together!!
May God bless your home!!
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