If you are serious about leaving, you need a plan. SM
Posted By: bunny buncher on 2007-12-30
In Reply to: How can I kick him out? I have told him to leave many times (sm) - seriously - OP
First, get some therapy for yourself to gain back some self confidence. Then make a plan. Find out how much a divorce attorney costs and start saving. If you are not being physically abused, try to stay in it as long as kids are young. Then make your escape.
Believe me, you are not the only one going through this. Are there any women's groups in your town you can join? You really need to vent. I know what that's like.
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you do the leaving
My ex was the same way. After 17-1/2 years, I did the leaving. I know it is hard, but YOU CAN DO IT!! You and your kids will be better off in the long run. My oldest child wishes I would have left when he and his brother were still little. Don't let him keep abusing you - you are just as valuable as he is - don't forget it. Hope your cold/flu doesn't last too long. Will be thinking of you.
Leaving an ovary or not?
I had one at 35 and kept my ovaries, although now I wish they'd have taken them. Within an hour after surgery, I was up and around and ready to go home and had NO pain afterwards (this was vaginal). I felt better than I had in years and I think every woman who is beyond wanting children should have one. It gives you such a freedom from all the "mess" and such.
He refuses to do that. He says no way is he leaving (sm)
I have tried for so long to hold this marriage together for the sake of the children - but what am I teaching them if I continue to live in this situation? That it is okay for men to treat women badly? That you just let people treat you however they want? That spouses don't have to respect each other?
Any regrets leaving the Q?
They're getting on my last nerve, but there are those that say that being an MT is pretty much the same everywhere. I hope not; I'm tired of having multiple different hospitals during each shift.
re: leaving pets
No I don't leave messages but we've done some camping this summer and my kitty gets very mad when we leave. When we walked in the door after being away for a few days she wouldn't stop meowing at me, like she was telling me off for leaving her..she wouldn't let me pick her up either! Anyone else's pets get mad when you leave?
My DH is leaving in just a little bit for Atlanta
He is going on business for the weekend (we are in VA and have about 2in of snow now and more on the way) and he is taking my DD along for a little Father/daughter bonding. We have been following the weather and saw that it is in the 30s today and up to in the 50s tomorrow then back to 30s on Sat. with snow expected. My daughter is going crazy trying to decide what to pack. LOL
I don't regret leaving either...
Been gone since last August and couldn't ask for a better company to work for now. I owe MQ a lot as they did hire me right after I graduated my MT course and I did learn a lot while I was there, but having said that, I haven't looked back once since leaving.
If you are leaving for 3 weeks, take them to a kennel and sm
pay for daily care. They need more than food and water, they need attention and loving and daily petting, and exercise. Bless you for taking them on, but don't desert them now.
Rosie Leaving The View
Just watching The View. I know a lot of you wil be happy. Rosie just announced that she's leaving The View. I didn't catch exactly when she was leaving or why, but she did mention her children as a factor.
Leaving for New York tomorrow sm
with my family. Watch for us in the Today Show audience. I will be the one with the laptop so I won't fall behind in my work.  Just Kidding.
Running over a dog and leaving the scene?
Going on her merry way, shopping or whatever...?
Probably doesn't have animals; I agree.
She knew she was visiting and would be leaving (sm)
She just wanted to do a few things with her granddaughter before she left. If you had my in-laws you would understand invasive. You have to share your daughter. She is your child, but she is that woman's grandchild and she has rights too. She is sooo not asking too much. She sounds very humble and non-demanding. Try to be sweet to her. She won't live forever. Let her enjoy her granchild while she can.
sweats usually, unless I am not leaving the house and then PJs...
nm
I'm loving life since leaving MT.
.
"I'm leaving my wife." I bought it once...never again. NM
x
uhh...that should be "suggested leaving"...not counseling...nm
I'm leaving what little I have left in my 401K for now - sm
(what's left wouldn't do me any good, anyway), with the hope that someday it will gain back some of what it lost. THEN, even though I probably still won't have as much as was in it before, I'll most likely take it ALL out of the stock market forever, and invest in something concrete, such as land (which even if it can't be sold for a profit, can be lived-on). The stock market has become so volatile and flaky that it no longer makes any more sense to put your hard-earned retirement money into that than it does to blow it all on Lottery tickets or slot machines.
I heard just last week that she was leaving the show--sm
Why would she suddenly become a host if she could not work out an agreement with CBS? She said she would be back for various shows already set up, but that she was not going to be there day to day...did I miss something?
Party in SF as a send-off for friends leaving for Burning Man.
I'd love go myself, but can't afford it.....
I agree and leaving early not sore loser (sm)
I think that's just graceful, letting the winners have their day plus that had to really sting after the great season they had. But what a great game it was. Both teams should be proud they made it there.
I have been single again as long as I was married and there is not a day I don't regret leaving s
BUT it was still the right thing to do. I have been happier since and I am fine on my own, but it was extremely tough as he didn't pay child support and I could not find a way to make him (not for lack of trying though and a social worker whose job it was to collect his arrears kept telling me no, I didn't really need it!). Financially it was terrible, but the relief of his absence was enormous.
He was critical. He was always rude. My friends would only come to visit when he was on the road. The kids would pick up their messes, but he made more than they ever did, never helped and constantly criticized me for not being a perfect housekeeper like his mom...who didn't work, had a housekeeper and spent her days at the mall shopping. I had more kids than she did, worked always and ended up being too exhausted for him. He is a homophobic homosexual and going out on "mommy and daddy" dates was always humiliating because he spent the evening looking at other men's behinds.
I got out and suffice it to say, at quite a price financially and emotionally. I have not remarried, have only had one relationship in 15 years and feel too damaged to ever try again, but I am FREE from all of that.
My kids were pleased when he left and were all too anxious to help him to leave the house!
People leaving their McMansions and traveling West
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Spending a romantic weekend in Atlanta with hubby. Leaving at noon. Can't wait! nm
,
Def. Plan B
Gets my vote, esp. presuming that you explained why you were taking that path.
Putting the paper on disk and printing at school was not an unreasonable option, as is telling her to call a neighbor or classmate who lives nearby to see if they have any paper to spare (I would accompany her no more than 3 blocks to pick up paper).
Or, you could also have suggested that she gather up her "nonessential" print jobs and print her paper out on the blank sides of those sheets.
Either way, she needs to deal with the embarrassement and/or reduced grade.
I plan
on doing something. I have printed out his picture and information. I intend to take that into the school and give it to the principal; letting him know I believe they should periodically check this website out and inform their teachers/employees of risks. I may even call the superintendent and voice my concerns with him too.
We have Plan A and Plan B
We had a new house built last year on a nice lakeside lot. We are about 15 years from retirement.
Plan A: We sell the house and retire to New Mexico.
Plan B: We stay here after retirement.
We are both investing in IRAs, 401Ks, etc., and we consider the house a retirement investment as well. As soon as we get our son through college, we will begin putting additional money on the principal so hopefully we can have the house paid off by the time we're ready to retire.
Whether we stay here or move will depend on a lot of things, like cost of living (very low here in Oklahoma, higher in New Mexico - Albuquerque/Santa Fe area), the state of our health, etc. That's why we have Plan A and Plan B.
It seems like she is trying to plan
things for them she thinks they might like. I do not feel she is mistreating them as much as they probably just want to stay home and do all the things they are used to doing. The sound of the mother's note seems like there is some animosity towards her- could play out with how the chidren feel, they can pick up on things like this and play to their advantage. I say have a good talk with the kids as well as the MIL and let all know to give some- the grandmother wants the children over sometimes, not unreasonble on her part.
Plan
My plan is to get the proper number of strips ready and sent in (the syndicates require a certain number be submitted at once so they can see the continued potential). The artist and myself will be 50/50 partners (in writing, of course).
I believe my idea has potential for other outlets if it is picked up (think of some other comic characters).
The money will be split, but I cannot afford to pay anyone up front. Basically we would be business partners.
My plan - sm
Thank you all who responded. Yes, I definitely want to bring him to my house. I guess I just needed some others who love animals to reassure me. :-) I am going to see if he is there this afternoon and how he reacts when I pet him and if I think I can get him in a carrier by myself. Oh, and do not worry - he will DEFINITELY be neutered ASAP. That is not even an option for my cats! I will keep you updated. Thanks again, everyone! :-)
Zero, and plan to keep it that way!
//
sounds like a plan (sm)
You might want to discuss it with him first so he doesn't accuse you of being sneaky and not being sensitive to his needs (lol).
I was in pretty much the same boat and did what you are contemplating.
Guess what? My now ex put HIS money in a separate account (not accessible to me) and I STILL ended up paying all the bills!!
Can anyone recommend a plan for me?
I am 48 and do use my cellphone for emergency use only. Right now, I have Cingular One Go Phone but used it so rarely that within a few months, I had 135.00 in my fund.
I called Cingular One and asked them to switch me over to another plan to use up the 135.00 and she said okay, go to 25 cents per minute and when you deplete your 135.00, you can switch back to the monthly 30.00 plan again. Well, I went on a long trip, my car malfunctioned and when I went to call AAA, the cellphone said I had no minutes...seems I had bought air time which had expired rather than talk time...
So, I was told to buy a telephone card at a store for 100.00 which would last 365 days. Befoire I do this, since I know so very little about the cellphone plans, I wonder if anyone has any great ideas for me or perhaps will say I should do what was suggested?
Thank you much!
I think it helps to plan.
Even if that would be for 7 days. I like to somewhat plan, and then deviate when needed. Staples are pretty much always on hand. For something different, I'll look at cookbooks and write down the ingredients adding them to my shopping list. I think having a list and pretty much knowing what you want to cook each day is a good way to save money and curb overspending on none-such items. I am battling with getting my kids to eat more fruits and veggies, so I am having that struggle (should be eating more rice and not so many potatoes). Good luck.... 
By the way, that's the plan..just have to get through this part first (nm)
f
Sounds like a plan to me!
I agree 100%. Look at her lack of personal responsibility. She has wealth and privilege most people only dream about. She spends her days partying, parading in front of the cameras in skimpy outfits, and essentially doing nothing useful whatsoever. Shame on her! May jail serve as a wake-up call for her to improve herself.
You know, sounds like a plan and
exactly what I was thinking as I returned home. I would not care if he weighed twice as much rather than change in the midst of all this crap and perhaps lose him?? I told her that and when she kept on was very forceful as she was starting to get under my skin. I do not mind mixing a small amount of wet with the dry like she advised after I was so emphatic with her about them not being able to do dialysis. I know the risks with weight, diabetes, arthritic conditions, etc. but I also know now is a bad time to change kitties food when so far so good with the brand I have been giving them. Love them too much to risk their lives right at this very time. I thought seriously about just what you said, changing vets.
My weekend plan:
It's pretty self-explanatory. Buy a nice seedless watermelon, insert funnel and pour in oodles of liquor of choice...vodka, schnapps, rum, etc. (You'd be amazed at how much booze these things can drink!) Let sit overnight in your fridge if you can stand to wait that long, cut up and serve or drill holes into melon and give your best bud a straw and watch the magic happen. See you in rehab.
Now THAT'S a good plan!! nm
First of all don’t plan on retiring-
for what reason? I start drawing pension next year (65) from one company where I used to work but not planning any kind of retirement. I married a younger man a few years ago and we actually moved up in house size from before the marriage. I just think anyone who reaches a certain age should downgrade from any steps in a home- those are for younger folks.
Personally I don't plan on becoming one of those - sm
old ladies who has the super short hair all puffed up and look more like a boy. I am with you with keeping hair long, though I don't know Meredith Viera (don't watch much TV). I personally know of two women, one 59 and one 76 who both have long hair, and I mean long, down to their waists. I think it is great. My hair is down to my waist too, though I am only 42. I am with your husband these other women are most likley jealous. Enjoy your hair and don't let the harpies bother you. It's your hair, your head, and you are the only one that needs to like it (I am glad your DH likes it of coure, mine loves my long hair). Next time they comment just let them know it's your hair and you like it long and that you do not need their input on the matter, your hair length is your business nobody elses.
I believe it's the ones without a plan that wins, lol.
We have a very detailed plan...but that just enforces our chances of NOT WINNING!
;-)
Well, it didn't quite go according to plan! LOL
My youngest had a game early Saturday morning, ran our errands and then spent a few hours at a festival our town was having (like a mini-fair). We ate, rode rides, played games (he won a live goldfish) and watched the entertainment. Came home, he went to play at a friend's and I relished in the quietness of the house. :) Woke up this morning sneezing, watery eyes, and having to work for the Q so will get a little more motivated for these projects next weekend!
How many of you have a backup plan
if your spouse were to lose their job? Assuming the MT rate of pay isn't that great I think most of your are probably like me and depend on your husband's employement to pay the majority of the bills. I don't want to live in fear but I am really getting scared with the state of our econmy right now.
We have no backup plan. My in-laws already have their other son (and family of 4) living with them due to job loss. My family lives in another state altogether. I don't know, I guess we would split for a while - me live with my family and he live with his so as not to place a direct burden on any one already struggling family. I just don't know what to think this morning. Should we have some sort of plan in place? Do most people? Our savings has dwindled to nothing this past year with all the increased expenses and we have cut back all we can. There's nothing else to cut other than house/cars/utilities.
backup plan
I've started working as much as I can. I have a FT hourly QA job, PT hourly QA job, transcribe pt and also am gathering some transcription from a local teaching university. At this point I don't feel I can make too much.
I feel very lucky that I can work as much as possible from home-I've landed well. I have a lot of debt, not behind but want to get out from under it. 2 kids in college....so far not too expensive as they are both at a JC. Christmas will be all cash and much skimpier this year. If I didn't have to make all of my monthly payments, I'd be loaded.
I am just crossing my fingers and toes that my husband doesn't lose his job. Times are tough tough tough. But they could be worse.
I'm on the hardship plan too for my
4 credit cards. I pay 6% to 9% interest. I have 4 years to go on 3 of them now.
Why don't you take the money you're saving towards credit counseling and slap it on the $3000 cc? That would cut the amount in half. I wish I could save some money, but between the 3 cards, I pay out $1000 a month. Nothing left over. But at least they are getting paid.
P.S. Don't know about you, but I went under because of DH's surgery 2 years ago plus IRS and went through all savings plus cc's until he could get back to work. Before that, I was slapping 1/2 the amount to the whole amount on the accounts. Didn't know my income was going to drop in half, either.
I just got a plan with PA BCBS and it is
designed that they cannot turn you down. I was just recenty turned down by another plan. I enrolled in this one and it costs me $336.75 a month, but my deductible is $750.00 with a copay of 20% up to a maximum out of pocket of $3,000.00. The other plan they had was $1500 deductible with 20% and a $6,000 out of pocket maximum. They just put in for an increase, but so far these are the costs. I think they call it Classic Blue.
I do not plan to BUT will get an extra - sm
vehicle they can use, but it will not be theirs so to speak. My parents unfortunately treated my brothers and I differently. They were allowed to get jobs while in HS, save up and buy a car which they both did. I was not allowed to work at all with in HS, therefore no way I was able to save up and buy a car. Lucky for me all my friends either were given cars or had access to one that was a family spare. My one brother was kind enough to let me use his car for the whole summer after I graduated HS as he was unable to have it where he was living at the time. My senior year in college my parents allowed me to use my dad's second car (an antique) which unfortunately the brakes failed on. I think out of guilt, and as a pre-graduation present my parents bought me a Nissan Sentra wagon so I could haul all my junk around, and so I could get to work (worked 2 jobs while at school and usually rode a bicycle but it got wreaked when I took a turn to fast and crashed). I am sure that went over like a lead balloon with my brothers but my college cost a third of what theirs did so they could not gripe too much. After that initial car I was on my own, paid my insurance, etc. though my dad did lend me the difference on the money I needed to buy a Blazer in 1989 (bank would not give me the full amount I needed) which was kind of him. But I will not spoil them by giving them a car....my neighor has gotten his daughter 3 of those new Mustangs so far, she is 17, has totaled 2 so far. I still cannot believe how stupid they are.
did you plan anything special?
did you plan anything special?
guys depend on us to do all the planning
when it comes to stuff like this
did you plan anything special?
did you plan anything special?
guys depend on us to do all the planning
when it comes to stuff like this
That sounds like a good plan...
but I would be exhausted! I have a very large family to shop for!!!
Do you plan meals in advance
I'm used to going to the grocery store and just looking around (I do have a list of things I need) and deciding on what to make for dinner while I'm standing there. I've never 'planned' meals before.
I am separated and getting divorced and seriously need to cut back on the food bill. We typically spend $700-800 a month for 4 of us. (food and toiletries)
I use coupons when I have them and most things are generic, but not all. Our bill is so high in part because my husband goes to the store everyday to buy breakfast on his way to work and also has special dietary issues. Right off the top without those two factors, I think I will save about $100 a month. Also, two teenagers who eat nonstop is expensive.
I buy lots of vegetables and try to use less meat/chicken, and more veggies but it doesn't always work! I do make soup often but my kids aren't into that as a main meal, just as part of their meal.
I don't buy sodas so that's not an issue.
Should I make a lot of bean type dishes? my kids would rather starve first! Hmm, maybe not a bad way to cut back...!
Does it save money if you plan your (dinner) meals in advance? Any other tips would be great.
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