If you and other parents don’t understand, then their or yout children will continue
Posted By: Older here on 2007-10-31
In Reply to: I think you are trying to make this black and white - and it clearly is not.
to wreck havoc. It should never have been something the mother bought and allowed this girl to take to school. School policy and yes it is as much black and white as you can get. Sure it is written down and this is CONSIDERED a weapon, pepper spray- anyone with an ounce of sense knows this.
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Parents of children with
My son has not been formally diagnosed with ADD...however, I do believe he has just that. His attention span is about a millisecond or shorter...he always gets an "N" on staying on task at school, here at home we have to repeat things to him what seems like a million times before he'll do it. Other than that, he is a very well behaved child. I don't think he has ADHD, as he can sit still for long periods of time. I don't want to put him on drugs and I'm not sure how a true diagnosis of ADD would affect him in school.
My question to you all is...have you tried any natural remedies at home? We are trying the omega 3, but so far have not seen anything...though he has only been taking it for a few days. How do you handle things at home? I am so tired of repeating myself a zillion times. I'm thinking of putting up dry erase boards and writing what he needs to do on them, so I don't have to repeat and repeat myself.
I'm just looking for some suggestions about how to manage him at home and at school. I'm not sure I want to take him to the doctor, I do know that I want to try to get a handle on this on my own at first. BTW, he's 10, in the 4th grade. Things have been pretty okay until these past few months. He seems to be getting worse. Even his teacher has noticed at school that he's becoming harder and harder to keep focused.
Any advice, suggestions, or recommendations would be very much appreciated! 
I can bet those parents that left their children with the
Catholic priests over there felt the same way. I am not trying to flame you, but I do get a little unnerved when people use the word "Christian" in a description of another. Yes, personal experience has taught me that if someone uses the word to describe themselves they usually have to say it because their actions don't show it.
I do understand your comfort zone and the fact that you have known this person for a long time, but I do want you to be aware thaat sometimes the grass is not quite as green and lush behind closed doors and what he tells you for the eason of the divorce is HIS perception of it. Theer are always 3 stories; His, hers, and the truth.
Last, I want to just stress to go into it without expectations. I began to date a Deacon from the church that was highly regarded and someone I had known for years. Fairly early on he began to show sigsn of control, which I shoudl have heeded, but then he wanted a lot more than I coudl give emotionally yet and actually went to my 9-year-old son and told him that he really did not think he would be able to continue his friendship with him because "Mommy just won't give me what I need emotionally and sexually." Yes, this really did happen and I found out about when my son was in tears and mad at me for it all. No, this does not normally happen and I hope it never does to anyone, but what I am trying to convey is that you need to be cautious and concerned with anyone in your life. Just don;t get too fixated by the "christian" label.
I wish nothing but happiness and love for you in the future!!
Oh but don't you understand, just like my children
my dog is a genuis. LOL! I guess you could explain the fact that he went and layed by the door as soon as he heard Dr. Phil come on. LOL!
I understand about the aging parents thing
because I was there also, older brother had died and just me for not only mother, father but also my stepmother whom I adored. My mother died first, then my stepmother and father killed in accident at age 90 but I worried so much about stepmom and father- I lived close enough to where I could be there in a couple of hrs and told them phone call away. It is not easy but I really understand. I think most of the younger crowd now is too much of a me generation for the same consideration.
I understand some parents don't supply stuff- sm
but what is wrong with regular pencils, a whole lot cheaper than mechanical. I would buy some extra of those no problem, but $21 for pencils is a bit too much. In theory the teacher keeps each kids supplies in their own box at our school, so the supplies really are for my kid and not others, they supply their own note paper, markers, pencils, folders, notebooks, crayons, etc. I am sure some things end up in a general grab box for everyone, like the pencils and construction paper. I just remember when I went to school, all we needed was a few pencils in grade school.....as we got older, folders and a notebook, pens and pencils. Now you need ever little thing. The big thing was back to school clothes not supplies. I cannot even buy my kids any new clothes as I am spending it all on supplies, so far $140 and I am not done, plus it would be $11 more if I bought all the "required" pencils.
I understand that some children are upset
when they learn the truth, but can honestly say that I never thought twice about it once I found out the truth. Actucally it wasn't so much finding out, it was just being old enough to realize the impossibility of Santa. My children are now old enough that they no longer believe and they were fine with it when they found out. I guess it would depend on the children. Our family always focused more on the reason for the season and not Santa, maybe that made it easier.
I blame the parents. Children are not getting the love and attention
xx
I do not understand how the state could NOT locate her and her children
when SHE AND HER CHILDREN are the FIRST CHOICE regarding inheritance.
His wife and children!
Say nothing if you want it to continue - sm
I said nothing to my MIL, nor did my husband, no matter how ugly her comments were, what lies she told, you name it. He is very nonconfrontational and said we should keep the peace, but it finally reached a boiling point last spring and I unloaded on her. All she could say was that she was sorry, that she had her own issues, blah, blah, blah. I now find myself very resentful towards my husband for not shutting her up on day 1. Long story short, that was nearly 30 years ago now and I SOOO wish these things had been said earlier. She knows where I am coming from now and she knows we will not be her dumping ground any longer. Dr. Phil says we teach people how to treat us...Best of luck to you. 
Then why continue working for MQ? nm
x
She'll continue riding the bus unless she gets....sm
a job that starts as soon as school is out.
I started driving to school the day I got my driver's license, but that was because I was working 20 hours a week learning transcription in a doctors office, working from 3:30-7:30 p.m. With that, being in band and drama my parents were literally counting down the days until I could drive so they wouldn't have to tote me around. My brother and sister weren't involved in extra activities and their after school jobs rarely were scheduled at times for them to drive to school, so they had to ride the bus.
There's no way I'd give a child a brand new car for their driver's license/birthday gift. Here in the Atlanta area there have been a lot of wrecks with teens whose daddy gave them a brand new Mercedes or BMW for their 16th birthday and to "thank" their dad they wrecked it and either killed or nearly killed another person. Even if we were rich we wouldn't just buy a car for a child. Our oldest gets a car only because it was her moms, but even then she won't have 100% free reign over it. She also doesn't have a cell phone and will not be allowed to get one unless she gets a job to pay for it.
Why do some of my posts continue to be deleted and yet
other people who write things such as this lady are allowed to stay on the board?
Things like this happen and will continue
There is a lot of flapping going on when this happens but the copycats are not just there, here in my state as well as I am sure in every other. Gun law is not changing. People have gone completely bonkers when it has to be politically correct, just makes me nausated. Kids cannot be kids anymore because games we played not good for them now, jungle gyms should not be played on- they might get hurt- and this is just 1 example of a looney being left alone because even the college apparently could not let his parents know and they probably knew anyway. Closing the campus down- well he was a student, right and so he would have access to there is that not true? There is no way to protect people when you have someone so bent on destruction. We would have to be a total police state. It just gets worse by the day.
Do we continue to give a gift? Help!
In DH's family you give to the godchild and godparent at Christmas. My DH's godchild is in her 20s, loves the labels, and does not respond to questions of what she would like for Christmas. The past three years we have not received a thank you for any gift. We were not able to attend the family celebration for the past two years but there this year. Did not receive a thank you after opening the gift or as she was leaving the house. Spoke to MIL later and said I was done with buying her any gifts as nothing is appreciated or even given the courtesy of a thank you. MIL insisted we still buy a gift, even a small gift under $10. I don't agree. Am I being harsh? I don't just buy anything - I take the time to shop and consider who I'm buying a gift for. Any advice?
Should your husband continue to associate
with him says something about his character, IMHO.
My DH is a great guy, lots of good friends that he has worked with for over 25 years. A few years back one of his friends, a fishing guide on the side, took all the guys out for a 2-day trip, everything paid for. After a day of fishing, the guys decided to go to a strip club before turning in; my guy doesn't go for things like that and told his buddies so. After taking much ribbing from them, he stayed at the hotel and they all went out. The next time a free fishing trip was offered my hubby said thanks but no thanks, he didn't want to be in a similar position again, he doesn't think strip clubs are a place a married guy should be going to. After being good naturedly heckled by his friends and being called morally upright, they went without him. He still has those friends to this day, however, has boundaries with them. Golfing for the day or fishing for the day fine, but they know that if they are going to the strip club don't bother inviting my guy.
Your DH can still be friendly with him but should set some boundaries.
Well that is kind of rude to let a baby continue to cry
x
Right, and I haven't said we are licensed to continue living in it (sm)
But guess what? I need to lose some weight! Do you think if people on the street start pointing at me and telling me to get myself under control that I am going to do it? No! If God wants me to change something, he will convict me in my own heart and let me know it. I don't need YOU to tell me, nor does anyone else. Can you not see that?
By the 4th day, I would be too sore to continue the rest of the week...
LOL
So you just continue to give money to grown folks
because they are too lazy to work? You could do 1 of 2 things- take the children or call the family and children services if they are not being cared for. I would never continue to support people who did not want to help their self.
that is too cute!!!! but as long as people will fix VR mistakes, it will continue on the roll it is
;
Yeah really they will punish this woman but continue to allow the illegal scalping.
I can't even believe anyone actually goes to concerts anymore. I stopped when the scalpers started to buy them all up within seconds of going on sale and then posted them on ebay for up to 10 x the value. I won't buy into that crap. Wish nobody else would either, maybe would put a stop to it. :)
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
Yes, my dad's parents
My dad died when I was 18. I love my daddy, and I love my pop (step-dad). It is so sad that my children never got to meet their grandpa, but they do also have a grandpa (my pop) that loves them with all his heart. I also have a brother, who was named after my dad, and felt it only right that if anyone uses my dad's name it be his choice, not mine. Does that make sense? Thanks for your input!!!
My parents did it,
and they would say DON'T get Sears to do it. They did a horrible job.
My parents have several sm
and are very happy. I don't know how my dad went about aquiring them (he does have his real estate license)so that is probably a plus even though that is not his regular job. My parents are able to spend 3 weeks straight in Florida each year due to time shares. Two weeks at one place and one week at another. He also will swap time shares with others so they don't always have to go to the same places every year. My husband and I looked into one at Hilton Head and it just didn't seem like a very good deal to us. I didn't talk to my father first, but felt sure he would have advised against this one. This is just from my experience. I have heard horror stories from others. Good Luck.
What about your parents
Treat them as if they were your parents. Most of the time when I was married and we went to my in-laws, we knocked but then walked in especially if it was through the garage. I did the same at my parents, went through the sliding glass door. They did the same at our house. To me is is a minor thing and I did not care, thought it was great that they liked me and felt welcome enough to come on over and drop by. If they ended up seeing something they shouldn't then perhaps next time they would have called. Or if someone was there that they did not plan on seeing whatever. Sometimes we had the best last minute pot luck and card games that way. But that is me.
My parents are the same way. They don't like to
"invite" themselves along to the in-laws' houses on holidays, and won't even accept direct invitations from the in-laws because they think I pressured the invitation. My in-laws (and I) always figure "the more, the merrier!" When I host here, I invite all of my in-laws' extended families, but they don't want to come either. So we all wind up doing the two dinner thing and trying to schedule around EVERYONE. It's annoying. I'd rather rent a big hall and have EVERYONE show up for potluck. But nobody wants to leave their houses. Always some excuse, like young kids, but they didn't mind making me haul my young kids all over the state. And I'm the one in the family with the most kids. I say go anyway to the in-laws. Your parents can stay at your house alone for the evening, or they can come with you. It's their choice, but your plans are already made.
27 and 31 here, in the NE. Many other parents we
s
it's not just the parents...
kids today have different issues to face than kids did even up to the 50s and 60s. Most kids are watching MTV before they are out of diapers. It's just easier to put something electronic in a kid's hand than have to act like a parent. Kids are having kids at earlier ages than ever. A few years ago I lived in south Philly and watched a girl about 12 yo with a baby talking to a young boy on a bicycle. She told him she wanted money for the baby and he told her his mom didn't give him any lunch money that week, so he didn't have anything to give her.
My situation has been different because of the abandonment issues my GD has had to adjust to... but get this. One reason I can not spank her is because she came to me with some violent behavior from her parents. Her mom would let her run across the room (to the mom), jump on her and wrestle until she was so over stimulated the baby would bite mom on the face...and mom just laughed. I could not spank her for biting me...one violent action did not change the first. I have had to learn many new techniques since I raised my kids...obviously spaking did not work on them! I was very firm with them and used spanking as a last resort, but I can't do that with this child. She has to trust me and spankings do not build trust. We have a great relationship now, but I constantly have to reinforce changing her behavior from what she had when she came to me, along with just asserting her own indpendence as she grows older, with my words and deeds, not with violence.
My parents used to do this...
I can remember begging my mom for the list of names and numbers and she'd never give in. Drove us 4 kids up the wall! But thinking back, it was fun! Merry Christmas y'all!!!
Where are the parents???
I don't put the blame totally on Brittany (most of it I do, but not all of it). Her parents should be hauled down with her. Where in the world were they when this all was beginning. If it was me my mom and dad would be right there beside me saying what in the world is going on and they would get me the counseling I needed (and not allow me to leave when I wanted to). I don't care if she is a "pop" star or not. If more of the parents of these "stars" would act like parents you would think their children would behave more rationally. I look at Brittany and lots of her friends and they really are still children. I have a brother-in-law who is 48 and acts like he's 16 and needs to be kept in line by his mom. Maybe the parents are too worried that their famous kids will stop giving them money....who knows. Maybe not, but it looks like it to me.
parents
I had a daughter in a similar situation. Her school had a tutoring program after schools with actual teachers and that really helped her a lot. She actually was doing okay in the class, but just didn't feel confident. The teachers made her feel more sure of herself and that seemed to make all the difference. I'd talk with the physics teacher or counselor to see if they can work with her before she drops the class.
Parents what would you do?
I'm looking for some advice. My daughter just started the 9th grade. She's been in accellerated/Honors classes for a few years and she has always maintained a 98+ average. This year she's taking Physics, a 12th grade class. She's only been back to school for less than two weeks and she's so stressed out. She wants to drop out of the class already. I told her to give it to the first semester which will be over in ten weeks to see how it goes. My husband feels that she has to take it eventually so she should say in the class. She's afraid that this course is going to ruin her grade point average that she's very proud of. I think she should talk to the teacher and her counselor to see what advice they have. Her teacher is one that gives the work and says do it without really teaching them how to do anything. I'm so illiterate when it comes to science I'm no help at all. My husband took physics years ago and he tried to work with her last night, but I'm not sure how much he remembers himself. What would you do if your child was in the same predicament?
parents
careful, your face will freeze that way. go to your room and wait. killer was "I never thought I could be so disappointed in you. I thought we raised you better than that".
parents
how could I forget this one? Can't never accomplished anything.
never make fun of what someone does for a living as long as it is an honest job.
parents
My parents helped very little - they were very loving, but very poor. I worked, had no car, ate very simple cheap foods - that is the only way I could have done it. . I could not help my daughter much either - she got scholarships, took out loans and worked - full time one year while attending college full-time. . If parents can help, I think they should. . I think this mom is willing to help, just not change her entire life, which she should not have to.
This all comes down to the parents
I think those women are making a big mistake. I love my sister and nephew, don't get me wrong. But he is like that 7 yo and it drives me crazy. BUT my sister and BIL are to blame, I feel. He gets a toy every time they're in a store. He gets a new toy if he's good at the dentist. My sister feels "guilty" if he likes something and she doesn't run out and get it. They buy him major video games just because, instead of reserving these things for birthdays or Christmas. They will go out and buy him a $200 item in the middle of the week and when I ask what the occasion is? Nothing, we just thought he'd like it!
He is well behaved and they don't use the toys as bribes, but yet still, it's unbelievable some of the stuff they do. Yes, it's their only child, but I'm amazed. Growing up when we would talk, my sister had definite opinions about what she would and would not do when she had children, and this is not how she felt back then.
But he doesn't know anything about Monopoly or playing cards, or any of that stuff. In my opinion, they're raising him to be materialistic and as an adult I can see him as one of those guys who always has to have the latest toys to impress the other guys. Just my opinion.
You might be right, but my parents had me so...
afraid of them that I would NEVER have considered such a thing. Although I do not have a teenager yet, my hope is to have that kind of fear and, yes, respect by the time they are that age. However, I might live to eat my words yet. I just think that with a teenage girl, this might not really have been about a wedding after all--it could have been about a date to a wedding and I find that scary.
See what I mean? Some parents have no
consideration for anyone but themselves. Yes, parenting is a tough job. Some people do it better than others. But it doesn't give the less-than-adequate parents the right to inflict their out-of-control brats on others.
I love how they all go on the defensive, too, if you call them out on it. Suddenly they accuse the person objecting to their kids of not having kids themselves. (Usually not true).
It all boils down to consideration. And letting your infant scream through 3/4 of a movie, or a wedding ceremony, is pretty much akin to looking the other way while your dog drops a load of steaming poop on a neighbor's front lawn.
I would believe most parents would know
already.
You could do what my parents did to me
I stayed past curfew one too many times. First time they let it slide, second time the warned me and third time said I disobeyed, so they marched into my room, grabbed a suitcase and said if I didn't want to obey their rules than to get out and see if I could live somewhere cheaper and have a car whenever I wanted it. Even though the car was mine (old Valiant (think Chrysler made it, but it was mine), but they told me the car was not an option and would not be going with me.
It took me about 30 minutes of begging and pleading for them to let me to stay and I had to do some extra work around the house as punishment for disobeying them.
The only thing was back then 18 was legal age (drinking, etc). Your daughter is not of legal age yet. I'm not saying this is your or your daughter because I don't know you, but parents seem to always believe their kids are responsible. My sister thinks her 19-year-old son is responsible, but he shows time and time again he is not. I have a friend who boasted about how responsible her 17-year-old son is, he doesn't smoke or drink and studies in school and gets good grades and only goes out to go to the library. A few days later (Sat night) the police had brought him home as he was caught at a party drinking.
Took a lot of time for my parents to consider me responsible after some of the stuff I did (staying out past curfew, etc). Parents should not be so quick to trust their kids. They need to earn trust.
Where are parents?
Are the parents going to be home that allow this? In Connecticut if there was underage drinking and something went wrong the parents would be in trouble as much as the rest of the kids. Just in one month we lost 5 teenagers in 3 different accidents for drinking and loosing control of their cars and running them up a pole. A parents worse nightmare.
I never had a problem with my two daughters with drinking underage at home. When they are at college I do not loose any sleep over it because what I don't see or know I cannot worry about it. I trust they will make the right decisions but they are away so who knows.
My parents.
x
Any foster parents out there?
x
You're asking what I and other parents were asking...sm
when the other teacher was out so long. Our school system is probably the worst about holding back kids. I'm a foster parent and had a prior foster child that desperately needed to be held back (she was academically 2 years behind her peers and emotionally 2 years behind them) and they refused to hold her back because she had already been held back in the 1st grade due to poor attendance while she was with her birth parents, regardless of the fact that she was emotionally and educationally behind the kids her age.
They were all good parents as far as I know - sm
There were no reports in the news stating any reason why this group from Kansas thought they were bad parents. They were just parents with broken hearts. I agree with you that they need to be kept away from funerals.
Any parents here making a
to only have one child..? We're seriously considering not having any more..One is PLENTY OF WORK AND LOVE!!
If possible, their parents should be told..
that their boys are insulting and ridiculing adult women on the street. Having raised 3 sons, they were encouraged to be kids and have fun but they were CERTAINLY taught respect for adults and that it's wrong to insult anybody ''for fun'' (particularly adults). Unbelievable that the poster below called this ''minute''. There is nothing ''minute'' about ridicule and nasty remarks--particularly directed at a perfect stranger just going about her own business!
Yea, they might but the parents not as enthused
as when their children were little and I do not think it has that much to do with independence, I think the baby and toddler thing just hyped too much. I for one really disappointed in my children and nothing to do with if they are on their own or not.
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