If there are then go back to court. This is a dead beat mom,
Posted By: no different than dead beat dad. nm on 2007-06-19
In Reply to: they have joint custody w/dad being primary... - oh puhleeze, sometimes there are....sm
dfs
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No dead beat if no CS agreed on but not paying court
df
If this were dead beat dad instead of dead beat mom, would
adfs
Maybe we should not beat a dead hourse (sm)
Hopefully we can all agree that what works in one marriage may not in another?
You need to get it back into court sm
and get this changed. Is there any reason you feel you might deprived of all visitation privileges? So hard to give real advice or opinion without the details. Sad for you though, must be hard. You need some court mandated visitation rules.
Please don't beat yourself up over this...
stuff like this happens, unfortunately. My daughter had her bike stolen off our front porch one evening while we were away. And yes, we bought her another one because ALL of the bikes were on the front porch and hers just happened to be the one they took. Hard lessons are definitely not pleasant to learn, but I think that's why we learn from them!
....and the beat still goes on!
 Oh ya, this white girl got 'da moves! (of course now I need to take a couple of Advil before and after said moves...)
is beat them up.
x
don't beat yourself up about this....
I would just be honest with the MIL and let her know how upset the girls get before having to stay over and suggest that maybe they just spend the day and come home at night. Too bad if you seem selfish...they are your children and you only want them to be happy. My ex-MIL seems much like yours...She got her way ALL of the time and if for some reason something didn't go her way...I was always the one to take the blame. I became tired of the controlling behavior and told HER that way it was going to BE from now on (this was after her son and I were through)...I did not care how she felt about it at that point because I had stuffed my feelings and my wishes away to accommodate hers for so long that I didn't enjoy holidays as I should have. I regret those lost years. I think she was trying to make up for the years she was raising my ex and basically neglected him and his brothers and wanted to redeem herself with my children. Needless to say...my son has a relationship with her, but my daughter, who is the youngest and was not treated as well by her, sees her maybe once a year, whereas my son sees her weekly. My son had been forced to spend time with her, while my daughter did not. I would pick her up when she would cry at night. Maybe I should have made her stick it out, but this woman was not nice to my daughter in the least. This was even confirmed by my son. So...what the kids get out of their relationship with their grandparents is totally up to the grandparent's efforts. I think it should be a positive experience...If not...skip the overnights...just visit for the day and she will have to deal with it. Who cares if you are the mean one in your MIL's eyes...You are a mother first.
don't beat yourself up...sm
There's no help for that burnt ring in the carpet unless you've got another hunk of the same carpet in left the garage, cut out the burnt part and carefully replace it...Otherwise, a throw rug is always an option.  Cat
I ran around on the first and the 2nd one beat me, so
I got divorced, yes I will take responsibility for the failures. My fault.
I can beat that.
When I first got married, my husband said "where do you keep the ice?" I knew then I was in deep trouble.
Don't beat yourself up on this.
Kids are kids. My son, at age 17, got his 15 yo girlfriend pregnant. Her parents screamed at us at first threatening to have our son arrested, and we screamed at him at first, but then sat down and had a long conversation with him. He didn't want to get married right then and neither did she. They decided to get married when they both graduated from high school, but he couldn't give up his "bum friends" so she broke it off with him after our grandson was 2 yo. Didn't blame her one bit. We are still friendly after all these years. The "baby" is now 18 and they still talk. We see our grandson every 2 weeks since they broke up and we still miss her as a future daughter-in-law, but they are both married to someone else now..
I would say not to get too involved and let them work it out themselves. She is probably going through a lot with the pregnancy and doesn't really mean what she says. She's probably pretty mad at herself for letting herself get pregnant and trying to put the blame on everyone else to make herself feel better. At her age, she probably feels her independent life is over and it's all your son's fault, but it's not all his fault.
My "ex-to-be" daugther-in-law became a nurse making mucho dollars without my son, married a nice guy, had another baby, and we all still get along. All my son did was pay support VOLUNTARILY for the 18 years and keep in touch with his son, including when there was a crisis; i.e., staying out late, etc., and took the fatherly approach, trying to help raise our grandson equally.
Also, her parents and us are still friends although we don't see them as much since the grandson is now almost "a man", and they have other problems I won't go into, but we still wish our son and his ex would have gotten married...that's how much respect we have for her.
Am I making any kind of sense? Email me if you would like to chat further.
Got you beat - 23, 30. 37 and almost 44!
My "baby" just turned 14 and now I'm starting over with grandkids.
Don't beat yourself up...........
I do have a question..... where has their father been? I take it you are divorced, so where has he been....where is his responsibility in all this? In my experience, more times than not, these problems stem from lack of a father figure in the home anyway and I know that from experience.
How convenient for his father not to go get him....after all, he obviously knows you will do what is his responsibility, so why should he bother!!
I realize your son is not a minor any longer, but his father, if a decent human being, could go a long ways in helping his son grow up. Might there have been something in your son's past which leads him to be so clingy and irresponsible? Just wondering. It sounds truly like he is afraid to grow up, low self-esteem, and insecure, so bullying his mom makes him feel important and like a big man because he gets by with it. He knows he couldn't do anyone else like that because they won't tolerate him. If there is any way you could speak with their father, maybe, just MAYBE he could see fit to pull his weight and involve himself a little in their lives to help push them towards a more positive end...
I'm really truly sorry you are having to go through this but you are right; your peace of mind has to come first right now. If you don't put that first, how in the heck are you going to continue to take care of yourself because obviously, your children aren't capable.
Court TV is now Tru TV as of 1 1 08 nm.
nm
Some will go to court WITHOUT you..sm
without informing you. Its your word against theirs that you were/werent served with a notice to appear. Next thing you know, you get a letter that a judgment has been entered against you. (Happened to me, and worse.)
Another dead
They just reported on CNN that an 18-year-old girl died from the VT shooting.
Dead Like Me
Showtime didn't give it a chance. At least SCIFI is rerunning it. Oh, also "Firefly." LOVE it!
dead??
didn't Benny Parsons die?? I think he had cancer. . I could be wrong. . I'm not sure if he drove a Dodge or not. . .
dead serious
x
So do I. Rather be dead.
xx
Got you beat by miles! $3.23 in CA (sm)
and $86 to fill up our Expedition. Which is why we mostly keep it parked in the garage nowadays. Bought in back in 1999 before all this gas price gouging hooey.
How do you beat the boredeom?
I'm off tomorrow, but I'm so bored and restless today I can't stay in my seat. Usually I can motivate myself by remembering that the poor house is just around the corner, but I'm really chopping at the bit today and I don't want to do this. I have about 5 hours to go - any words of inspiration? TIA
women beat themselves up - it NEVER - sm
has anything to do with you, male, female or animal. It is his behavior. You cannot change that. You can get really miserable trying to - been there, done that.
have always loved your name - got you beat
on age - but my Ipod goes from Creed to Peter Gabriel to Staind to Paul Rodgers and in between Lonestar and Indigo Girls and Oh, my new favorite song - the theme from Saving Grace by Everlast! It is so much more convenient than the CD player. I got a little shuffle cause I wanted to start slow and make sure I could work things and I'm doing fine.
I got you beat, when little my kitties had
their own bedroom with everything their little hearts desired. Their tower, their litter box, their toys, you name it and it was theirs.
Ok, I give. you got me beat.
Have not added on for the furkids so you won!
I can beat that one - I did much worse! -sm
I used to transport horses as an almost-full-time second job. (Did so for almost 30 years). Had 3 trucks & 2 trailers. I live in an apt., so could only park 1 truck there. The rest I 'boarded' at a local stable. On a hot summer day, I pulled in and parked my rig, and covered the truck with a dust cover (since the riding arena was right nearby... saved me lots of cleaning.) So I locked everything up, got in my smaller truck, and drove home.
TWO DAYS LATER, I'm at work, and get a frantic phone call from one of the trainers at the stable, saying they had to break into my truck. I of course flipped out at that, then she told me that the barn cat was in there meowing to be let out! She had apparently jumped in while I was back behind the trailer for a moment & the door was open, and jumped into the back seat and I never knew she was there.
That poor cat was in the truck with no food or water for 2 whole days in the middle of summer, when the temps were in the high 90's outside. The truck was in the direct sunlight all day long! It's amazing she survived, but she was apparently just fine. A dog in the same situation probably would have died. (I'm sure she did use up 6 or 7 of her 9 lives, though!)
Adam still is the one to beat
Yes, I agree he's become over-hyped. But to be honest, he's the only reason I am watching AI this season. All the other contestants remaining are BORING. I do believe Allison has a great voice and could have a very good future in music. Danny's songs all sound alike, and I have found him uninteresting from day 1, although he does have a decent voice. I always look forward to Adam, he is so talented and diverse. I don't get it when people say he's screechy, that's not what I'm hearing, LOL! He is on a totally different level than all the remaining contestants. My only beef with Adam is that his eye makeup looks so much better than mine does (when I bother with it).
Gotcha beat by
16 and this is how I feel. Have done this so long it is so easy and don't have to go out of the home to work, gosh I am glad about that because of several medical issues that make walking a lot a chore along with other things. There would be absolutely no way that I could leave home now for a job, have 3 kitties that are so needy. I think my husband gave them to me to be sure I did not have time to run around on him, just kidding!
this should be challenged in court
This is NOT a communicable disease and should NOT be mandatory. What about possible side effects, what about 20 years down the line when they discover it caused a new problem. No. It is wrong to make this mandatory. This regards one's personal health decisions, for their CHILD no less. What next?
Yep, ordered to court but you might be ok
the only exempt 1 today was a new owner and he had just had lawn put down- but having said that- you are only allowed maybe a month and then after that a homeowner on same restrictions as others so don’t know how much it could get roots and grow by them. We have sprinkler system but I try not to use if I can, just too expense and I am cheap!
Court Jobs
Here where I live Court jobs pay excellent, plus there are all sorts of benefits, pensions, and a lot of time off. They're very had to come by, though. Some of them are civil service, and some is definitely who you know. I was a paralegal for a long time before I became an MT and I always wished I was able to get in the Court system.
I know my chances are 0 with that court
You said "I've seen them put kids in the custody of parents who are known to abuse them when the other parent has no problems, etc."
That's exactly the situation here. My son wants to live with his dad due to his lax (to put it mildly) parenting skills and will cheefully lie to keep daddy out of trouble. The last custody battle was the worst nightmare I ever hope to go through, every lie the ex told was taken as gospel, every truth I told was "alleged" - and while the judge was making the custody decision, my ex went to jail for being drunk and naked in his yard while my child was present, the court was quite aware of this and he STILL got awarded custody. I am really reluctant to jump into another such fiasco, and I told my son until he is ready to tell the judge in writing he wants to live with me, I won't go back to court.
I am convinced that by the time I got to court my son would be back in school, it would be a moot point, I would be told its "normal" to miss that much school, ex would get a pat on the head for his "loving parental concern", and the ex would retaliate by counter-filing to double or triple my child support payments.
That particular court has told me "lots of children go to school filthy and in rags, its the community norm, its no big deal". My child has experienced recurrent scabies and lice due to his father's lifestyle, (which is also "normal" to the court) so I am utterly amazed at his dad's sudden concern for his health.
when you go to court in the USA, you swear on..sm
In every court in the USA, one swears on a bible, probably the New Testament (I know it's not the Old Testament), and no matter who you are, you have to swear on the Bible (in a trial case). I would swear on it - it's a book about God, no matter if it's the old one or the new one, and as a result it still holds up as a respectable Bible to me for swearing to God.....I revere all books such as this, for everyone's religious beliefs.
Unfortunately, I am court ordered to do it
..
They will take you to court, without doubt.
It isn't too little for them. If they have evidence you owe that debt, then they have legal recourse to collect.
If it goes to court, you will get a judgement against you. It will go on your credit record and they can also garnish wages to receive their money. They may be entitled to other collection means.
It won't matter whether you send a cease and desist letter -- it is a debt you legally owe. You need to call them immediately and discuss your concerns over the legitimacy of the claim. Never, ever avoid them - it will just cost you more in the long run.
yes, you can go to the family court and do that on your own.
You do not need an attorney. Research online. I think you even HAVE to do this, updating the financial situations for the sake of the children.
so what r u taking her to court for?
You didn't cosign for the vehicle. You didn't loan her the $$ for her electric bill. You didn't want any profit from the business. The only thing I saw you mention was at the end about animal food, etc, but isn't that considered start-up costs of a business?
Sorry, don't mean to make you madder, just confused.
Anna is now dead
I just saw on the Comcast home page Anna is now dead?
Tim Russert dead at 58. sm
Died of heart attack today - breaking news
hope not cause she's dead!
xx
You could have been sick or dead
in your room for all they knew. wonder what they would have told investigators? The next time they make plans, don't go, tell em you got a ham operator to send out a morse code message, didn't they get it?
mine is dead too
he died 3 months after our divorce was final - on my birthday.
At least the red bugs are dead..sm
It always freaked me out when they would say 'live cultures' when talking about yogurt. Little tiny alive things in my yogurt....AHHHHH!!!! LOL!! I still eat yogurt - oh well!
Love him. He was also in Dead Like Me. nm
nm
WHO DAT say dey gonna beat dem Saints? Who dat? Who dat? :D (sm)
Sucks I have to work tomorrow, but I will take a lunch break to see the end.
One of the best, ever. Can't beat Ellen Burstyn.
x
and bagels! Can't beat a NY bagel. :) nm
s
Don't beat yourself up. If you divorce, no one will be good enough for him. sm
He has serious issues of self-worth himself to be so quick to point out your flaws. That's what people like him do - they point the finger and say, "You're not this or you're not that. You're too this or you're too that" when deep down inside it is actually them with the major problem.
I am going back to school to become a licensed marriage/family counselor and have read many, many books.
I do think, however,that you need to look deep within yourself and see where your self-worth is coming from. Don't allow him to shape the person you are supposed to be by his mean words. You need to tell him how much his words hurt you.
I personally don't think you should leave unless there are 1 of 2 things going on: Abuse or infedelity. If none are present, you should work on your marriage.
Too many women nowadays give up on their mates. If he wants to leave, let him leave. If he wants you to stay you should work it out. Set boundaries, though. Tell him that you will not stand for him pointing out your flaws and threatening divorce. You need to both a lion and a lamb to your spouse. Be sweet as a lamb, but bold as a lion if need be. They need us to be both.
I can go on all night about marriage but I won't waste any more of your time. Good luck.
U beat boredom by criticizing, I see - nm
nm
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