If that were my daughter.......
Posted By: kbmt on 2007-07-25
In Reply to: Muslim not American Indian. - MSMT
I would have marched up in that house and knocked him for a loop!!! I have three daughters and although they are still young I can't imagine anyone ever mistreating them!! As a mother, I can only imagine the heartache you feel for your child!! Thank God she is able to get out now b/c he sounds like a potentially violent person. If I were her, I would never look back and I would make his parents aware of his abusive and neglectful treatment even if they don't want to hear it!!!
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
Yay for your daughter!
Glad to hear it!
My daughter did twice...sm
and everything did turn out okay. She was very concerned and upset of course but her doc was very positive with her, explaining that there are a lot of false-positives for some reason or another. Good luck to you and try not to worry. I know that is easier said than done though!
Yes, with my first daughter. sm
The test results were actually quite bad. I worked at a doctors office at the time and had the blood drawn there. When the results came in from the lab the four family docs I worked for called my OB and all five had a sit down, serious talk with me. I was extremely frightened, but knew I wouldnt do anything drastic if it was truely Downs. My daughter turned out 100% fine. No Downs. Nothing. With my next two daughters I skipped the test all together. I knew I would never terminate due to Downs, so I left it in Gods hands and skipped that part of testing. All three of mine are fine. That test has too many false results.
My daughter is trying to get me to try
Of course, she is a little thing, but she teaches at a high-stress school, and at the end of the day, she loves to go there. She has gained a lot of muscle which she likes and upper body strength, which she definitely needs. I need to give that a try.
I just went through this w/my daughter...
and yes what is attached is definitely alive. You need to get the small comb that comes with the lice kits and VERY THOROUGHLY comb through all the hair to get the remaining eggs out. If you leave even one egg it will hatch and start the process all over again. My daughter has long hair and I combed it daily, at least an hour at a time. After 10 days, use the lice shampoo again to be sure.
Get the same from my daughter-in-law
all the time, just delete them, just pro-war for nothing and not me.
My 12 YO daughter
I just had to brag about my 12 YO daughter. She and I moved into a new apartment a few months ago. A mentally retarded man, in his 50s, lives down the road. Most 12-13 YO kids won't be associated, or seen, with a retarded man....my daughter is different.
My daughter and I were outside playing catch last night when this man stopped over. She asked him to join us. He played with us for a couple of hours. She was patient, kind, compassionate and understanding.
I truly have an angel for a daughter.
P.S. On a side note, I did tell her I didn't want her to be with him when I wasn't around, etc....for safety reasons.
My daughter has 1 and I
know she does not have this behavior out of hers- she has had hers for say about 2-3 years and he does little crazy things like snap at the air (nothing there), very loving pet.
daughter
My daughter works at a daycare and they are having an outbreak of hand, foot and mouth disease. Pretty contagious from what I gather. I'm not sure what kind of treatment, if any, is necessary. Unless she seems really ill, I think you can probably wait until tomorrow and call your pediatrician.
The daughter is 7. nm
!
what my daughter does
is 1) wait until they show readiness, 2) try to anticipate, and encourage a run to the potty,giggling all the way, and 3) makes it fun with lots of praise, and then when they are successful, she gives them 1 M&M. I know some will scream this is wrong to reward with food, but i doubt this will create big problems. My husband used to let the kids run around the house with no britches on and they were much more inclined to want to go to the potty -- but that really depends on their environment too...and personally, i don't think 2 is too soon for some kids, but it certainly is for others.
When my daughter was 13
she had her first period in August as well. (The day before school started....aahhhggg!) She did exactly what your daughter has done, nothing in Sept. and then every month since. She is now 14. Just a hint that you probably don't need, I keep a calender on my desk and put a "K" on it each month when she starts so I never have to wonder. Trust me, we all know in this house when it happens for her each month LOL!
daughter having sex
I understand where you are coming from to some degree. Kids nowadays are more worred about and active in sex than we were; however as a parent of a teenager and understanding that this can be an emotional time for you, I have to ask. Are you really this freaked out about her sex life because she is having sex, or because of who it is with? Yes, you may not like this guy but how long do you want her to stay with him? This hissy fit of yours will only cement her with him. Keeping quiet about him and making sure that your daughter realizes that BCPs are not enough protection for what is out there would be a really good place to start. I have discovered with my own kids that sometimes just letting them see people as they really are ends relationships that I disapprove a lot faster than nagging. None of us wants to realize that our children are growing up and making their own choices but they do and are. We have to hold on to the hope and knowledge that we raised them correctly. I think we all can say that we did things that we regret and that they were/are only made worse by over-reacting parents. BTW, that age old saying about if they want to have sex they will, really does apply and do you really want to lose your daughter over some guy?
I do have to agree also with the comment about you and your hubby raising a child...WHAT are you thinking? If you don't want her to "give up her life" because of a baby and she is on the pill, then I suggest you make sure that she is well aware of the other options. You will not be teaching her anything by allowing her have a baby and then raising it yourself. I know that I sat my child down and explained things in that we have "been there/done that."as well as the fact that we will not be paying child support for a child (I have two boys).
Yes, realizing that your "baby" is growing up is hard, but come on get a grip. She is 17 not 12 and you had to know this was coming especially if you have an older child. She is having sex, not as protected as you would want, not with someone you think is good enough, BUT she is not dead/ dying nor has she run away, right? There are way worse things out there to worry about then the fact that your daughter made a bad chose in who she wanted to have sex with. Help her with the proper protection, make sure the lines of communication are open and pray for her safety and your sanity!
Again, what really (other than your daughter)
gives you the right to insist?? I do not see where you have a leg to stand on. You are upset but not thinking things through- you only have control over your own self- not your daughter, not anyone in your family and really not this guy. I read your post yesterday and I understood when you talked about what you would like for him to do but insisting? He would have to be a wuss to go along with that and being as he has this criminal history behind him, does not sound like he would be pushed into much of anything. Why don’t you get some advice from a lawyer before letting anyone else know about the information you have gotten. Probably a good idea.
daughter
Good luck to you! As a mother of 4 I totally understand why you did this as I would probably do the same. I in a way understand why they consider this a weapon because if she ever got in a fight and decided to use it etc. I am sure your daughter is smarter than that but you know how they think. Maybe somehow you can work it out with the school that she can drop the keychain off to them in the office in the a.m. and be able to pick it back up before she leaves. That way she still has protection when she gets off the bus. WISH YOU LUCK!
My daughter has had 2 out of the 3
And she didn't have to have a Pap.
How old is your daughter and how
many children does she have? Does she work?
My daughter has ADD
She is not hyperactive, but has an extremely hard time staying on task. She will daydream, watch the butterflies out the window, count the number of times the girl sitting across from her breathes a minute, etc.
She is in third grade and has been on medication for 2 years now. She struggled all through first and second grade and at the end of second grade we had her evaluated. she has a cognitive processing disorder and ADD. Basically, she can see it in her head but it is hard to get on paper. If she can hold it or actually do it, then she can learn it. It is hard for her to read a story and take a test on it, because she has not actually done what the story says, therefore she has not "learned" it.
We noticed a huge difference once going on the medication, but the school also made some accommodations in the classroom. She gets some extra time to take a test if she needs it, she can take her test away from the rest of the class if she needs to, her teachers have been wonderful about giving her extra one-on-one support and giving us materials to study at home.
I certainly do not endorse medicating every child who is just very active and talkative, and this was a huge struggle for my husband and I to commit to putting our daughter on medications. We said we would try it for a few months and if it worked, great. if it didn't, then we would take her off the medication. It was literally like night and day. She can sit still longer, she is able to finish a problem without getting distracted, she can think clearer, etc.
She calls them her magic pills. She tells us they have helped her to think better and it is easier to listen.
You didn't say how old your son was. Is he in elementary school?
Hey.....my daughter
is in that show!
My daughter uses that a lot
I can't stand it either.
Me too, even though it's actually my daughter's
We got it for our 9 y/o for Christmas and we've all had so much fun with it! We're all actually hurting today because we've been playing it every night! I whooped my DH at baseball, bowling and tennis last night - WOOHOO! It's great though that we can spend all this quality time together on a video game system and we haven't sat down and watched tv in days either. I can't wait to get the Fit one either. I saw it's out in Japan (I think) but not here yet. Definitely the best Christmas present that we can all enjoy.
Get this - my daughter
 is 38 (only child) and the older she gets the more "name brand" stuff she wants. Would you believe a Hermes twilley ($150!) and perfume that cost $100! Is she spoiled or what?? But I love doing it!
My daughter wet the bed until she was 11
As she as she hit her 11th birthday it stopped just like that. It was very frustrating. She was a very heavy sleeper and when I tried to wake her up she wouldn't budge, and then when I did get her up she was so disoriented that she would think she was in the bathroom and try to go to the bathroom in the floor in her room. I took her to a urologist and she did have a problem with her urethra that corrected itself as she got older. She was even on medication for a while. Of course, from what I read of your situation it's a lot more complicated than when my daughter went through. I would try to see if I could have him checked out by a urologist to see if there's a medical problem that can be taken care of with medication. My pediatrician told me not to worry about it because it was something that would be outgrown. She was very embarrassing for her. She wore Good Nights for a very long time and we had an incident at a sleepover at our house where all her friends found out, but they were very supportive. Just try to not make it seem like he's doing something wrong.
what about your daughter's
was he involved? were you married?
that would be her daughter, right?
pretty sure that was, ****** or ***...A-something-y.
Edited: Names
My son is now 17 and daughter is 15
and I promise you it is not all bad. Some of the things my kids come home and tell still shock me, even in this day and age, but I am fortunate that my kids are involved in many activities, have wonderful Christian friends, and we are a very close family. There was a girl (a senior) recently telling everyone she pregnant and was keeping the baby. She has a very prominent father. About a week later she said she made it all up. I do understand no matter what kind of family life she has (a good one) girls do unexpectedly find themselves pregnant, but I tend to wander if something was done about the pregnancy and she was told to tell everyone she made it up. I also can't imagne telling the whole school which is basically what she did. Okay, I know I have gotten totally off topic, sorry. I just feel like as parents my DH and I are trying to do everything right (DH is coaching DS high school tennis team even as I type this) and it is possible my kids still might make "major" mistakes. I know mistakes are going to happen, how else will they learn, but I can't help but wonder if I am fooling myself sometimes. Sorry so long. I still hope you call the school.
When my daughter was 9 she had
her one and only cavity. When her dad asked her about the shot before they filled it she said she didn't get a shot. We all got a good laugh over that one. This reminds me of the third time I took her in to get her teeth cleaned. She was about 6 and had never had any trouble in the past. She actucally kind of liked going to the dentist. On this particular visit I had to sit on her legs to keep her still. She screamed and cried. I expected them to tell me to never bring her back, but the dentist was just wonderful. After it was all over another dentist jokingly said "Would you like a valium?" I said "How about 10" I still don't knowwhat the problem was but she has had her teeth cleaned twice a year since (she is now 15) and we never had another problem. Go figure. LOL! Don't sweat it, it really isn't that bad at all.
How exactly is your daughter going
What does your child need money for? You say it's for her, but I bet if you ask her, she'll tell you she really just wants to get "back to normal". Dragging her through court will not help her overcome her fear of dogs. Instead, you should be concentrating your efforts on having the dog impounded. Soon you will be known as the neighbor "quick to sue". You'll find other parents will not want to invite your daughter to their houses, etc, because they'll be afraid if something happens to her while she's there, you'll sue. I'm not saying that you would, that's just how some people might perceive you.
I got the impression from your original post. You said very little about the emotional details of the situation. You primarily discussed the money aspect of it. If I've gotten the wrong impression, I'm sorry. I just didn't get much else from your post. You even mentioned you watch People's Court and other court shows. These shows put ideas into people's heads that they constantly have to sue.
My kids play baseball. They get hit with baseballs all the time when they're up to bat. Do I have the right to sue the parents of that child who hit them? How would that help them?
Daughter sm
We don't discuss this in front of our daughter. We have contacted animal control, but they have done nothing about this dog, absolutely nothing!
daughter
do you have younger children; how you handle this is a learning curve for them. Your first loyalty is to your husband, agree with all the other posters to tell him. don't let her wiggle herself between the two of you or hold you an emotional hostage. You may have to deal with her leaving so be prepared for that. and yes, I have gone through it. My daughter that I spent so much time with hid very successfully she had been drinking for 2 years before I found out and I lost that battle. At 30 she had untreated hypertension and developed a severe headache and walked into an ER. That was the last time she walked 3 years ago. MRI did not show the pontine infarct until too late to treat it. She is now a prisoner in her own body fully cognizant, in a nursing home. She who do swim, dive beautifully, ride and show horses, dance like a champ. your job as a parent is just as everyone else said, not to be her buddy, but teach her whatever hard lessons she needs to learn so that she will grow up to be a self-sufficient person who can take care of herself. I wish you all the luck in the world. It is far from easy.
Daughter
First and foremost you must tell your husband and the two of you have to deal with this together as a team. Use him for the strength you lack. Also, ALL of her privileges should be revoked immediately. If she threatens to leave, let her go but let her know you will have her declared a runaway and she could be put in juvenile hall. Check the laws in your state. It's called tough love and it's for her own good. Please believe me when I tell you that you do not know everything. Not by a long shot and you certainly can't believe anything she tells you. I would have her tested for STD's then put on birth control. I know that sounds drastic but your situation calls for drastic measures. Get a plan with your husband and stick to it. I wish you all the best. Pray, pray, pray.
Daughter
Obviously none of us here know your resources, but you might could hire a PI.
I have to agree with other posts, that she's doing more than you know. We here might be "old," but we didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday.
It's good to see how quickly the picky stuff falls by the wayside in a big hurry when one of us is really having serious things happening. For a company this size, we should be thankful. As for the work stuff, eh! Work is work. This is far more important.
Please keep communicating with us. You are not alone.
Daughter...
I agree with BeenthereBefore...she's absolutely right, RUN away from that therapist ASAP. Now is not the time for nicey-nice, now is the time for toughy-tough! Just remember, this too shall pass (words of wisdom from my mom). Lay down the law under no uncertain terms to her, and that is the way its gonna be, no discussion.
Also, are you paying for the phone? If so, I'd snatch it right back...no reward for making your lives miserable.
She threatens to leave? Open the door for her...kick her butt out! She has no right to take away the peace and sanity of YOUR home. Don't let her take ONE SINGLE THING with her, except the clothes on her back. Let her get a dose of the real world...she'll come screaming home probably willing to kiss your feet if you asked her to.
I have a teenage daughter too, though not to the extreme that you do, and for that I am grateful (for me) and sorry (for you). It feels so unfair that we give and give selflessly to these children and then they turn their backs on us, but I guess that's the chance we take when we become parents. Girls are inherently independent, she's trying to break away a little too soon though. She has no concept of *reality*, she thinks its like the "Real World" on MTV...I hate that channel period!!!
One more thing, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! You need more strength right now than you have...don't even try to do this alone. I am sending good thoughts and strength your way...
My daughter when little
used to misprounce words all the time. She is now 26 and she still does it at times. She used to call corn on the cob, corn on the bone. She would sing call Clorets gum, Clorox gum, etc.
She got it quite naturally though. My dad was the worst. It was not Casper the Ghost, it was Jasper the Ghost, and he always said unbiblical cord instead of umbilical cord. Oh my he slaughtered so many words and phrases, that I cannot think of them all. Oh, he used to say instead of atheist, ethiopians -- lol! He was a trip!
That second one looks like it could be my daughter
If it wasn't a man in the pic. LOL.
My daughter is and she is 15
There is a midnight showing here on Thursday nite but she hasn't asked if she can go. I guess she knows the answer will be NO! She can wait until the weekend. I am looking for something to read now so maybe I will take a look at the book.
Yes. When my daughter was 13, most
of her friends were guys. Girls at that age can be quite nasty and jealous, so she would prefer guys over girls. She used to play Playstation a lot with guys. She is 19 now and still hangs out with the guys. Most of the guys are her boyfriend's friends. They still play Playstation, go to McDonalds, and go to the movies.
I always kept an eye on where they were though which was usually in the front yard too or in the living room. I wouldn't let her get in the car with them. Guys drive like nuts anyway. Now she drives with them but she is an adult now. She does most of the driving too. They all pile in her truck.
I learned by her hanging out with guys at an early age as friends, it made it easier for her to communicate with men when she grew up. She understands men more because of growing up with them as boys.
Maybe ask your daughter why she feels more comfortable with the guys than girls. Maybe there are girls giving her problems that she doesn't have to deal with when she is "one of the guys." It is a hard age though. Their feelings can get hurt very easily at that age. Good-luck.
I get up and take my daughter to
school in my PJs, come home and start the coffee, eat something, and then start work around 8:30. Sometimes don't even get out of my PJs unless I have to go out. I usually take a shower at the end of my shift (I work 8 hours). Sounds perfectly normal to me.
are you daughter #4?
Why is loyalty to mother the only acceptable behavior? Look my mom has three daughters, and she tries to tell us how SHE thinks we should live our lives... often times causing major arguments. I love my mother dearly but get very angry at her for trying to tell me how to live my life. If she was DESTRUCTIVE to my life, however, she would not be in it, as sad as that sounds. For now she just says what she thinks because she is trying to protect us or has more "wisdom" about certain things, etc.
I'm not quite sure what you are asking... but my opinion is if that one person has that much hold over the sister's relationships, they need to grow up! (not to be harsh)
When all is said and done, it is the daughter's
@@
We went through this with our daughter...sm
We were seeing an orthopedic surgeon for her back. We'd wait in the actual waiting room for 45 minutes to an hour, then we were moved to a smaller waiting room in the inner sanctum for another half hour at least and then onto the exam room for at least half an hour to see his smiling (not) face for 10 minutes. And the waiting rooms were just as packed when we left as when we got there.
my daughter
My daughter got her 4 year degree in Social Work and got a job immediately - 2 days after graduation - at an elementary school. She will get her Master's in a few months and already has leads on jobs for this. I think part of it has to do with timing/luck/area you live in. She is from a small town but moved to a much larger area.
I don't want to be one, when my daughter is of 18.
//
My daughter did.
She went from 1st to 2nd grade over Christmas vacation. I tried to get her enrolled in 1st grade instead of kindergarten because her birthday was only 11 days after the cutoff and she already knew how to read and write cursive and do math, but I guess her IQ was a little too low (low 150s) when they tested her at that time.
With my daughter
I didn't have an episiotomy. I did tear some and require stitches and my daughter was 8 pounds 4.5 ounces.
I didn't have a lot of pain walking or anything until I had to pee. Peeing was horrible! To take some/most of the pain away, the midwife recommended a sitz bath and using a squirt bottle filled with warm water while on the toilet. The squirt bottle was a LIFESAVER every single time I had to use the restroom for a couple of weeks - make sure you have one of those! They also gave Dermoplast, which was wonderful!
If she were my daughter....
I would most definitely tell her to do something to improve her own situation. I would tell her that no one but her is responsible for her life so she had best get out and get looking for work that meets her needs.
I was 9 when I found out and my daughter was 9 when she
g
I forgot to add - my daughter's cat
also has seizures and the vet put her on Valium. She has only had one since starting on it. She takes half a tablet twice a day. She is in a very, very good mood now also. She is so funny to watch. She is so relaxed, fat, and happy on those pills.
My daughter hears this a lot.....sm
She is a elementary teacher and it seems in this school there are more than the norm (if there is a norm) on the number of parents in jail for drugs, alcohol, etc. They live with whatever relative can take them in, elderly grandparents, cousins, and most of the time they aren't being watched properly and won't communicate with the teacher, so it's hard on her to hear them talk about stuff. She offers comfort best she can and tells them they can always talk to her, but when she goes home, she can't stop thinking about those she knows are in a bad way at home.
|
