If she wanted to leave she would have done so
Posted By: mtstudent on 2007-06-02
In Reply to: ..stubs, EVERYthing, so he can't pull the wool over your eyes - about income, support down the road, etc. nm
It sounds like it's drama she is posting.
She is a grown woman and could have easily left him during church, while he was sleeping, at work, ect if she *really* wanted to leave.
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If he really wanted a divorce he could just leave - sm
if he is that miserable he ought to do just that. Then again maybe he was just venting.....but you can still get a divorce even if the other person refuses, takes longer obviously but it can be done.
Leave some open boxes of baking soda inside and maybe search for carbon filters to leave in there,
s
My husband wanted me to pick out what I wanted....sm
I narrowed it down to 2 choices and let him make the final decision on which style/carat size to get.
Leave Them In
My mom uses hers a lot and she leaves them in. I use hers more than I use mine and I leave mine in, too. I just got it out yesterday after a year of not using it and it still worked.
What about when they just leave their
carts in line, taking their packages and leaving for you to move out of the way. I say Excuse me, is this your cart? How rude.
get him help or leave him
nm
No, but I tell her where I'm going and bye-bye when I leave
s
I do want to leave, but (sm)
him being so agreeable scares me. I want to believe that he has been thinking the same thing and that me being the one to say it makes it easier for him not to be the "bad guy" but I am just scared that he is going to somehow try to cause me problems, I guess I just don't trust him.
Why leave is everything is okay? nm
nm
Take this from me. Leave her alone. Seriously. She will come to you sm
when she is good and ready. I was living in a snowed in town, my baby son was born in the middle of winter, my mom was 3,000 miles away, had my MIL with me, husband went back to work a week after son was born. I DIDN'T WANT ANY COMPANY. I didn't realize it at the time but I was suffering from severe PPD. And anything anyone said or did (sister in laws all acted like you did- confused, hurt, did not understand), all because they've never walked an inch in my shoes. I've been where you're friend now walks. Leave her alone. Let her mom know you are still there for her. Don't you dare give up on her, either, due to being offended. I lost a few so called friends because they couldn't handle the way I acted after my first son was born. My reaction: Good riddance. You were never my true friends anyway.
I could write a book on PPD. This is clearly what she is suffering from. And please don't tell me, "oh, just call me! I can help you! I just want to sit in the room with you!" Please. No. You don't understand. It is a severe mental condition. At this point you need meds, rest, and understanding.
Let me make a long story short. I had this one friend from college who INSISTED on seeing me. She came to the house 5 days after I got home. I LOCKED myself and the baby in the room, sat in the rocker and NEVER once left the room. I didn't want to see her. I, the social butterfly, couldn't understand it at the time, but I will tell you that I resented her "bugging" me like that. Of course, 6 months later, we were friends again. But that day was torture for me.
You don't know what she is going through, like I said. Just be there for her. Pray for her. She will come around. 8 days is too soon to bother with her if she is not ready. Having a baby is a truly precious and personal thing and all women have to deal with this event in their own way.
Women must understand this. Even friends.
Leave
Your last paragraph reveals a lot. You don't respect him and he doesn't respect you. You are not shallow. The two of you have grown apart and he is not the kind of man you want to spend your life with. Cut your losses and get out.
I leave it on
but no one eats it. It's kinda hard so I always thought it had a bone in it and probably would be difficult to take off. From now on I will probably remove it.
Leave now
It will be hard, but you can make it. I left after a nightmare of 10 years. I had 2 kids and not much money, but I got help from the state and survived by sheer will. The happiness of being free and the pride in becoming independent are well worth it. Good luck to you. Go get happy!
leave
You said you stayed with family out of state once before - can you take the kids and do that again? That might be the safest thing - then file for divorce, etc. You know him better than we do - so just trust your instincts and keep yourself and your kids safe - but you do need to get out of that marriage. . Take care and let us know how things are going.
She needs to leave well enough alone. He
might seem like her knight in shining army, but she has built a life with someone else. Obviously, she is not too unhappy to have stayed in her marriage for 25 years. Every once in a while I see my ex-fiance and my heart still gives a little extra thump. Then I stop and look at what I have. I have a wonderful husband of 30 years, 2 beautiful children, 1 adorable grandson. What more could I want. Yeah, the first guy was what some would call the love of my life. That doesn't lessen the love that I feel for my husband. The other man is now into his second marriage and, from all accounts, cheated his way through the first and they divorced after 20 years of marriage. As for my marriage, it's had its ups and downs just like any marriage, but, all in all, it has been very, very good and I wouldn't trade what I have for all the "thumps" in my heart. I could have married him and ended up being the one cheated on and divorced after 20 years. Thank God (quite literally) that I was spared that. 
You wish they would all leave?
because you have to transcribe ESLs and it is irritating, now you wish they would all leave? I didn't realize being an MT was so stressful for some. Glad I'm able to handle it. I must be a stronger person. Oh I love coming here! Makes me feel so much better about myself.
Why is it okay to leave this post up, but
delete all the other ones?
Well don't leave us hanging - let's have it!!! nm
Even a big man is not home 24/7. Leave while he is gone
d
Please tell me she didn't leave the dog...sm
with him! I'd be afraid for the dog's safety, as well as the dog being used to manipulate your daughter...
i did leave, but came back
I read your post, and just wanted to add to my post below that I did leave and just came back within the last 3 weeks. Things were pretty good at first, but now, even last night, he comes home from work at 2 am. The kids and I have been in bed for hours, and he starts a rant at 3 am about the milk being all gone that he bought the day before, and about my daughter using his shaving cream up in the bathtub. I just don't know where to go at this point. School is getting ready to start and my kids love this area. The only place I could go at this point is my mother's, that is where I went before. I don't know, I'm just venting and praying while I work. Thanks.
I did leave him once for about nine days...sm
After only 7 months of marriage I left and sort of went into hiding from him. He didn't have any idea where I was. When I finally contacted him he was totally distraught. He begged me to come back and made all kinds of promises to get counseling and go to anger management classes. Of course, the same week that I returned the "old" husband came right back.
One reason I really can't leave now is b/c we have total custody of my step-daughter and I am the only mother she has ever truly had. I don't feel like I can leave and desert her. There is no way I could ever get custody of her in our state. Thus, I keep on dragging along taking whatever is dished out my way.
I leave the radio on for them
We go away about once a month for a few days to visit my husband's mother who lives out of state, about a 4 hour drive away, and I always leave the radio on for our 3 cats just to sort of keep them company.
All the more reason why you should leave.
Do you have any friends or family that you can stay with, so you aren't alone? Not sure if it's him you are afraid of or the legal/financial stuff but maybe you would feel better if you talked to someone close to you about the situation.
Leave some $ on dresser and see what happens.
x
Fo Done: Is it right to leave a husband...
My answer to your question, in your case, is: No.
Maybe now you reject your husband so much because of this letter he wrote you, but I am sure that he regrets it and he wrote it in a state 'when he was out of his mind'. He apologized!
It is very seldom that men apologize.
Give him some t i m e to prove (oh my, I really think in this case it is prove, because it can be replaced by 'showing', but if the majority says it's proof, ok, then it's proof, I am confused now) that he wants to treat you better, give him another chance.
Don't forget, but forgive.
I am the only one who advises you to stay; I cannot believe this. All others give you their own 'horror stories', much worse than yours. Is this giving advice? Counseling?
Keep in mind, you can often give it a try, make it a little better, day by day, it takes only o n c e to leave and this is it, it's final.
Maybe if you stay, down the road, you will thank me for telling you to stay.
But......if he starts to physically abuse you, leave immediatley.
Now I am already expecting comments like....
'emotional abuse is even worse than physical abuse....etc....'
It depends on the grade of verbal abuse; some people regard even criticism as emotional and verbal abuse.
Can you not make it and just leave the
x
I did leave the seeds in...
maybe that's it. Strange stuff.
I also read you have to have a pressure-cooker for green beans and corn. I decided to blanch and freeze mine because I don't have the money right now for a pressure-cooker but that's on my list to watch the upcoming sales so I have one for next year.
Good luck to you too! Its a great way to save money after the start up costs and a much healthier alternative to store bought.
if you ask if you should leave on this board
The answer will be yes. No one will ever suggest that you do otherwise. This is the "you go girl, we hate men, leave the dirt bags, the kids will get over it" board.
I probably would tell hubs he had to leave
Nah, just kidding. The mama is trying to hide the kittens. The kittens will nurse for about 4 weeks and then they should be able to eat at least soft kitty food. Mama will start refusing to nurse when she wants the kitties to let her go, but about 4 weeks. I just had a baby kitten at my home today- the girl who does rescuing with me brought it by. She got at animal control and it was just a baby, about 4 or 5 weeks old.
No One Can Ask You To Leave Your Own Home
It does not matter whose name the house is in. Do you live in a community property state? Most of them are. The house is community/marital property even if it is in his name. Let him try to sell it without you signing to do that. He can not do that and he can not tell you to leave, no matter how much notice he gives you. HE SAYS he spoke with a lawyer who gave him that bit of advice?? Oh really??? Then tell him to have that lawyer speak to you and tell you that you have to leave YOUR home. That's right - YOUR home. You are married, right? He cannot make you leave.
Since it has come to this, though, I would start getting my ducks in a row financially and otherwise because it sounds like the beginning of the end, no matter how long that takes. To thine own self be true!! Start socking away your possessions and money without his knowledge as previously advised. Hopefully YOU will decide when it is time to go and you will be prepared. People always think they will patch things up and not have to worry about it. Not true. Eventually this WILL play out. Be ready. My heart goes out to you. Please take care of YOURSELF.
No, it was me. I wanted to eat more and did so
I pushed and pushed until I was able to pretty well eat normal again.
This was my failure.
Thanks - I just wanted to be sure! (sm)
I suggested it and then kind of got worried about it! We use it too
My son never wanted one, but DD
got hers actually at WalMart. It was around $100 and very pretty with her birth stone and she wears it every day. Might not after she graduates, but that's up to her. Younger DS probably won't want one either, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I did get the brochures from the jewelry stores at the mall, but they were unbelievably expensive.
Thanks, that was exactly what he wanted!
x
Is that all you wanted?
Just have someone agree with you? You said you will never post anything about yourself again. Well, you still did. I have a 17yr old and he will always have a key to my house unless he gives me reason to think otherwise. I still (at age 40) have a key to my parents house (why wouldn't I) what is the big secret? Really tired of this thread. Don't want to offend anyone but this seems to have really gotten out of hand. Just give him the key or don't!
You wanted to ask, but you did not?
For crying out loud, you should be MUCH more ready to forgive him his abusive language and "disrespect" if he was on drugs. Good grief. It sounds like you expect everybody to be perfect except you.
If he is clean now, he would probably be ashamed of how he acted. How many years have you let this rift go on, anyway?
That is exactly what my BF said, he wanted to know
x
Just wanted to add one more (sm)
thing. If your daughter does leave home, you MUST report her as a runaway to protect yourself.
You didn't mention, but are there other children in the home? If so, this is definitely something to take into consideration. If they are and they are being exposed to the constant "turmoil" this can be perceived in the eyes of social services as a form of "abuse" so you'd need to tread carefully.
Right now, take the emotional part out of it, take back control and know that a couple of years from now you will (hopefully) look back at this time and you and your daughter will have a few laughs. I remember when we hit that point and I just smiled silently thinking "I remember someone told ME back then I'd make it through this." You CAN handle this!
I always wanted to use one of these
when I have my own place, check it out.
http://www.purrfectfence.com/
I just wanted to thank you!
To the person who posted to informed us of the free photo books at snapfish.com sponsored by Oprah, I just wanted to thank you! I ordered one and my mom ordered one for herself too! They turned out great. I did a wedding photo book as I got married a year ago and still hadn't done a wedding album yet. It turned out amazing!!!
Did anybody else take advantage of this amazing offer?
You have done what you wanted to do - sm
so I would leave it at that. It is never to late to say you are sorry about something. I did the same thing, broke up with this guy badly, he was so in love with me and I always felt guilty about it, especially since he stayed single and did not date for about 12 years. He knew I felt bad about it though as my BF told him years after our breakup that I have always felt guilty/bad about how I handled things. But I was a stupid 16-y/o so what do you expect. Sometimes have regreted it as he is now a successful architect, but then again something just did not click, hence the breakup. He finally met someone and is married now about 8 years. We exchange Christmas cards but that is it. I never formally apologized to him but I know he knows how I feel/felt.
No, he wanted them because he - sm
was/is tired of the withdrawal method to be blunt about it. As I said he's only used 2 in maybe six months though (with me). Believe me I questioned him about it....and am being aware. I check all the email as he hates dealing with it, and the bills, he has no secret accounts, etc. He is pretty much an open book. His phone is a company phone and they would fire him if he used the phone for anything other than work or calling me, same with the company car. He is a real germaphobe as well, my kids call him Mr. Monk as a joke, he is not that bad, but sometimes it is, and I don't think would put me in the position of possibly getting a STD. He is also one of those men who would confess if he cheated as the guilt would eat him up. His honesty and fairness can be a pain sometimes, he won't even haggle when it is possible to like buying our house, and some property we have, did not even try to get it cheaper, same with our cars. I have to tell him to be quiet and let me handle the negotiating when I can. He has always been straight with me. Supposedly he cheated the 2-3 x because his wife used sex as a weapon/reward, and just was one of those women who really did not enjoy it....whether this is true of course I will never know. But I am not blindly stupid about his past, but do have faith in him that he won't do it again as we do have a good marriage, two great kids, and a good life together (and still a great sex life after 14 years). He has seen friends divorce and knows what it is like and does not ever want to go through it again, and he knows I am serious about making his life a living *ell if he ever did that to me. ---But the OP up there as I said before just needs to keep her eyes peeled. I would not let the letter wreck my marriage but I certainly would not blindly think, no my husband would never do that, foolish to think that way but it is a fine line to walk and you need to protect yourself but not let it wreck the marriage in case it is just a nut job out to cause trouble, like kids mailing them out to one house on each street in their neighborhood, who knows.
thanks!! Just wanted to be sure sm
So many recipes look so good, but I just don't have the time. I've been wanting them lately too. Kids coming home from college this weekend, so I wanted to make something special for them... but I have to work for a while until they get here... so I could't get too involved.
Thanks again!
Well, if I'd known what he REALLY wanted
Snip, snip! 
Just wanted to say thanks
I had some nice responses when I posted last week about having a really nasty UTI and being in excruciating pain. I had a fever despite analgesics, pelvic pain and generalized agony. They did a KUB and 2 CAT scans, with and without contrast. I got the results yesterday. I have at least one kidney stone. They think I may have passed more. I will NEVER go back to that NP again. My PCP has a NP, PA and himself. The PA is fantastic and my doc is wonderful. I can't believe they made me wait all weekend for the results when I had a stone, and let me suffer in pain. A few Vicodin may have helped. Also, the NP had told me I'd be feeling better in a day. I got progressively worse over 3 days. Now, I am finally starting to feel back to normal but there is still a 2 mm (small) stone lodged in my kidney. I just wonder if it is going to cause problems if and when it goes on the move. I was afraid to go to the ER for 2 reasons: 1. I didn't want them to think I was there for a wimpy reason. 2. They have so many people who go in there seeking narcotics, even though I never have, I was afraid they'd treat me like I was one of those.
Again, thanks to all that cared!
I have always wanted more than just
to sit around and do nothing. I just wanted more in my life than to stay stoned or be an alky. My best mind is not the best so if I fool around with other substances I am in a world of trouble. I have always wanted to work and be able to buy what I wanted, take vacations where I wanted and I hate, hate, hate to count money to find out if I have enough to buy a candy bar. If I had to work more than one job to have what I need, then that is what I do. I want to keep on working until I just go kerplunk out of my chair with my fingers on the keyboard. I just hope that is no time soon. I probably love making money more than I love spending it although spending runs a close second.
Nope - I would leave it there until Christmas! nm
x
and where did that thought leave you? just curious. nm
nm
Next time use Crisco oil. Leave it on for at least
12 hours. Then use Joy dishwashing liquid as it will remove the greasiness. My eldest has enough hair for 4 people and this not only got rid of the lice with 1 treatment, her hair was really shiny too! :)
So if we leave a water bowl outside for them, will they
op
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