If she's such a good kid, why stress her more by making her pay
Posted By: mm on 2008-02-19
In Reply to: Need advice on teenager vehicles......sm - LMT
for car/gas/insurance? I think that making good grades and having extracurricular school activities are enough. If she has to work also then something might slip, probably her grades. My girls, now 30 and 33, did theater, choir, drill team and we took care of the car. They did not turn out to be slackers. Maybe taking her siblings to school and running errands is enough of a payment.
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Boy, if stress is the trigger, I'm surprised I'm not one big blister. Stress is my middle name
and MT-ing is my game..
Stress when is enough enough?
Wanted to gab to get some feedback. Right now, it seems like everywhere this MT turns there's stress. DH going through final hearing for child support his ex won't pay for years, she threatening to take the kids away so he has to pay child support, etc. I just switched jobs within the last year, and although I am doing well the one I chose, it has been really stressful trying different MTSOs out to find the right one, or the fairest one. Top it off, my 2nd computer in 6 months just died today and my lovebird cage just fell down from the ceiling wrecking the living room, the cage, and scaring me and the birds half to death. Last week, when my son went for visitation, he wanted to stay home and not go with his dad, he screamed so loud the police chased his dad down in the car, and they came here to make sure he was not a kidnapper. I am not kidding! Look, I am not looking for pity. It just seems that as I sit here and write this to you (who I don't even know), that since I work at home transcribing 6 days a week, am fully involved with my son at home and step kids all the time (no life outside the house to speak of anymore) I am absolutely at a ridiculous point of stress. Any happy coping suggestions in response to this sad situation other than, go to the "mental health board," or "get a life..." etc. Thanks in advance for your kind comments. Just a sister MT trying to cope with job and home and trying to find advice from anyone who has "been there." Thanks.
STRESS
I am so sorry to hear about your friend (coworker). I cry with you. I hope and pray that you can find someone at your facility that will see what is happening and help you make changes!!!
Why can't anyone realize that the stress we face is great?
God Bless You and your other coworkers!!
christmas stress . . .
Due to the high stress nature of my husband's and my parents, we no longer tell them about the children's school events ( I know, sounds horrible, doesn't it?). My husband's father, whom we see three times a year, and has absolutely NO relationship with our children, called the school and found out when their concert was. He and his wife showed up last night, sat in front of us, he said two words to my husband (his son) all night long. When we got home last night and wanted to decorate the tree, my husband blew a gasket. He cannot handle it. It bothered him SO much that his dad showed up that he screamed and yelled at us until my daughter and I were in tears and my sons wanted him to leave. My daughter, lying in bed crying while I tucked her in said "we do this every year, mom". In order to get a grip on the kind of relationship my husband and his father have I would have to go on and on. basically, he adopted my husband when he married my husband's mother years ago. They split up the year we got married. My husband tried very, very unsuccessfully to maintain a relationship with him over the years and finally came to a point where he gave up. We have awkward moments and conversation when we are together. We have nothing in common, they don't really care about the kids, because they are not there to actually spend time with them and get to know them. We prayed for my husband last night, and my daughter asked me if something happened in his childhood. How do I get my husband to deal with this so we don't have to go through this every year?????
My solution to your stress
just BEAT HIM. LOL. J/K of course.
I would be upset too. Look for another company to go through. Unreal.
you are in posttraumatic stress right now--sm
go to the ER. Have someone drive you, if you feel you may leave the car running again. They will be sympathetic and guide you as to what is appropriate care for you. I feel your pain! My children's father took his own life on Father's Day two years ago and a cousin of mine took his own life less than a month later. I know the feeling, believe me. You will get better though, trust me. good luck to you and keep us all informed. you need compassionate friends right now, too. {{hugs}}
stress causes it too, my child has it....
and is also on metformin which causes more problems....has been to the GI doc who is really not much help....in this case, stress causes it...child doesn't drink....26 y/o.....
hope you feel better.....google IBS - you'll learn how to cope/deal....
stress, work, stress, work, stress, work
X
What do you do for stress relief?
I am having a tough time blowing off steam lately and looking for some stress relief ideas...some for in the moment and some for just routine daily/weekly life stress.
I am pregnant so moods are crazy and I am just having difficulty letting go of even the smallest of things. Looking for some pointers, ideas, suggestions.
My garden tub used to do the trick but now that I work until late at night and have a child home from school for the summer, it is difficult to find the time for that or mani/pedis which I also used to enjoy.
stress reduction
My ex-hub wrote some papers while he was doing his PhD in psychology on stress reduction. I typed his papers both before and after we were divorced. It made sense to me. One of the things he said that you work all week to make a paycheck to pay your bills. He said you have to consider yourself "a bill out of your paycheck that needs to be paid" just like any other bill that you owe. You need to pay a bill owed to yourself for hard work in the form of whatever you can afford out of each paycheck no matter what the amount that you may deem to afford meaning a new outfit, pedicure, meal out, movie, whatever makes you relaxed and feel happy. Set an amount aside even if it is just $20-$25. It gives you something to looks forward to. We have been divorced for 15 years, but I still remember this and still do this. It makes me feel good because I know I have to pay this bill to myself and it makes me feel good.
I wouldn't stress.
I had my baby natural childbirth. It really wasn't so bad. By the time it gets to where you can't stand it anymore, it's time to push. When you push through a contraction, you don't feel pain anymore just pressure. During labor I just kept thinking, this time tomorrow I will be holding my baby.
While I was pregnant, friends and family delighted in telling me their horror stories about childbirth. Don't listen to them. Everyone's experience is different. I figured if it was that bad everyone would only do it once, right?
I did take my sister's advice though. She's an RN on L&D and she said the nurses are there to help you, don't get mean and nasty with them or they will go away and only come back when they have to.
My friend had an epidural and suffered from severe headaches for months afterwards. I've heard of women having back problems, leg problems with them. I don't think I would ever advise anyone to get an epidural.
Yes, definitely a stress point in a marriage....sm
As for taking charge, I think we have to as they simply wont. I mean someone does need to be "in charge" so to speak...it is their place to be "head" of the house, but most dont take that place, they dont want that place, the responsibility that it brings.
I often think of the fact that if I died while my children are young they would have to live with my sister....seriously. He would not be able to take care of them, and not talking just financial, he literally would not be able to take care of them. It is sad to feel like that about it. Just how it is.
You're not weird. Maybe you can stress that you'd like it to be just old
s
They are big-time stress reliever!
I play what my brother calls 'girly' games - Final Fantasy, tetris, etc. I also have a couple murder mystery-type games, but I have to watch playing them when I'm home alone because I'll scare myself! I know it's pathetic but some of those games have things that jump out at you! I guess that's why I stick to the 'girly' games! LOL
Anybody have stress bother them and then get sick?
Ever since I have been stressed over a certain situation in transcription, and my family's budget I have become extremely tired and it is really hard to get my line count. Every day as the pressure builds regarding this my line count gets lower, no matter how hard I try. Anybody in this situation or ever been, I'd appreciate advice. I am trying stress busters, exercising, reading books, taking time to go outside, but nothing is working.
Every time I sit down to type, I just get more and more worried and I can't produce! It is like my heart is going on strike against the position I have because there are problems with the situation and it makes my money situation even worse. My husband is very understanding but this has got to stop. I want to feel good about my job again and my production. If you say get another job, I understand about that, but what about until the other job starts, what do I do? Arrrggggg. I know life is no picnic but it could at least provide piece of mind so I can do my job! Thanks in advance for any and every suggestion or advice. It will be well appreciated
Believe it or not, my favorite stress reliever is
SEX. Seriously.
Anyone on Lexapro for stress and anxiety?
Do you like it? Is it working for you?
Stress - thanks all for yesterday - got the Bach and the multi-Bs (sm)
Still stressing but feeling much better today. Didn't get out until 8 pm last night to make my purchases and still had a rough night, but this morning I am much calmer. Thanks to everyone who had any comments or suggestrions - I really needed you guys yesterday and appreciate you being there!
Emotional upset and stress. Such as reading MT
x
I would say that you have every reason to have panic attacks what with all the stress you've SM
been under. I take Effexor XR for my painic attacks and atenolol to help control my BP and it keeps my heart rate down. The combination works wonderfully, although I wonder if I've become a little too dependent on it as I sometimes get a little anxious at the thought of being without my Effexor.
I would have periodic episodes of anxiousness going all the way back to my teenage years, but I would always work through it myself. Then a year ago, in the midst of marital trouble and feeling alone as I lived two states away from friends and family, I started having what I now know to be gallbladder pain while I was at work. In my mind, I knew I wasn't having a heart attack, the pain was in my right rib cage and radiated around to my right scapula. But I couldn't seem to convince my body. My heart started racing, my mind was racing. I felt dizzy and short of breath. I went to the employee health nurse who took my BP and it was sky high. She immediately rushed me to the ER which freaked me out even further.
Long story short, I was having a full blown panic attack and I hope that I never experience anything like that again. I ended up crying for three weeks straight, was afraid be left alone, was afraid to leave my house, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, would pace the house with my heart racing, not able to calm myself down.
I saw three different doctors before I found a female doctor who listened to me and told me she knew exactly what I was talking about because her daughter had panick attacks too. She started me on Effexor and set me up with a therapist who taught me breathing techniques and meditation techniques to help calm myself when I feel anxious. One technique, as simple as it sounds, is something I practice almost daily which is deep breathing: in through your nose and out through your mouth and as you exhale allow your body to relax starting from the shoulders down. It seems silly, but it really works. I noticed that I clenched my jaw a lot and so that is were I focus my mind when I'm trying to relax. I focus on the tension in my jaw and start relaxing from there down.
Exercise is another great technique for relieving anxiety and stress. All the experts say that, and it's true. Just getting outside and walking can clear the mind.
Well, I've rambled on and on. Sorry about that. Let me just add one more thing, if you decide to try medication, my advice would be to be patient. Sometimes it takes a few different trials of medication before you find the one that fits. My doctor explained to me that panick attacks are caused by an overactive fight or flight response in the brain and so SSRI antidepressants like Zoloft or Celexa won't do the trick. You have to have a NRI (norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) to calm the response.
I'm not saying you need medicine, but I am saying that you may want to get a handle on it now so you don't have to go through what I did. I can't even explain how horrible it feels to have your mind spinning of control. I felt like I was genuinely losing my mind.
Well, anyway I feel for you and I wish you well.
I'm one of the few Grinches here who agrees with you. Enough w/the stress & extra calories in the
s
I agree. Hand him the headphones to have a listen. And stress how
s
I think finances and stress ALL play a huge part in this. nm
n
Definitely stress. Cops said once that Xmas eve with alcohol & money
s
Stress to vet office this is urgent or call emerg. vet.
x
Get some B-stress vitamins, Bach Rescue Remedy spray (sm)
Valerian Root to help you sleep. If all else fails ask the doc for something temporary for stress. I have been so stressed out before I couldn't stand it. Best wishes to you! I hope things get better soon. Take a day off!! A mental health day! Be lazy, take a hot bath, take a long walk.
I think you are making way too much of it.
My BF of 9 years calls me that all the time when, in fact, it just the opposite--he is my "sugar daddy." If he is worth it, just let it go. People are way too sensitive these days about things.
It is almost making me cry as well now.
 as time approaches. I loved that little Tux cat. I am going to have to get mama cat fixed. I think this is too hard.
If you are not making the $$$ you need
then you double up on jobs, and jobs that will pay, not sitting around waiting on work to come thru. I up until 2004 worked 2 jobs for years and years, for a safety net and both of those would qualify for full time, weekends included. I have now done MT longer than you so I guess I might know jack squat about what I am saying. I never got evicted, never did without food, kept a car, home and everything by myself because I did work so much. Why in the world are you making peanuts working 10-12 hours per day? I know the pay was more years ago, I understand that but if the job is not taking care of your needs, then a person needs to do something else.
Thank you for not making me feel so alone.
Glad your son has quit.
I will have mine read articles and will find pictures on line to show him. I do not think he has a clue as to what can happen to him if he continues this. Like I said he is only 18 and to think about many many years of this is very scary.
He says he wants to quit. I hope he means it and I will help him as much as I can.
I also was surprised by this since he has been so athletic. He always made statements about how he hated the smell of smoke and would never smoke cigarettes. I guess he thinks this is okay and won't do him any harm.
He started over the summer, so I hope it will be easier to quit than to have this go on for years. I will speak to his doctor and dentist also. May be they can help.
Thanks again for your concern. It it good to talk to someone who has been through this. Enjoy the Holidays.
Making candles
I had heard that you can save up the scrap wax from candles in glass jars, melt all of them down and put them back in the containers, adding a wick and scent such as cinnamon. So, I've been saving my containers with the bits of leftover candles. Anyone know how one goes about doing this? Is it possible to do this?
THANKS!
Any parents here making a
to only have one child..? We're seriously considering not having any more..One is PLENTY OF WORK AND LOVE!!
Thanks for making me giggle! nm
!
Thanks for making me laugh!
Cute post! Yes, it is yucky, but you made me laugh this morning. Thanks!
Thanks, for making me laugh.
This is so terribly hurtful. I guess you guessed it is my sister. We have had a history of ups and downs our whole life. I am the one to just let the hurt and hard feelings go to try to have peace. I will try to grin and bear it . . showing some teeth at times. Hope I can do it.
Thank you all for making me feel
a little better about this. I would NEVER get rid of my cats. Once an animal comes into my home, it's for life. I would probably send my husband packing before the cats :)
Mine is just making me sad
When I first got my little boy he and his brother could not stay out all night. They wanted to come into my bedroom and jump on me so I gave them their own bedroom. I made sure they had all the catty things little guys need and tucked them in each night with food, litter box, their treats, whatever. They are past that stage and now know how to behave and I leave them to have the house when I turn in for the night. My little boy now sits right outside his old bedroom and meows. He looks under the door - I keep that closed off now after cleaning up after them - but he knows that is where he stayed when just a small guy and he cries. So pitiful!
Thank you so much! You're making me cry!
I have learned that this is the true meaning of Christmas - giving. There's no greater feeling than watching a child open a present or an older person whose family has forgotten them. That's what Christmas is about for me. God bless you, too! Have a very merry Christmas!
MAKING??? Isn't he a grown man? (nm)
x
You might be right about Him not making trash.
Seems like she has done a good enough job by herself, oh, and her mother right along there. I have said for sometime she was really sick, desperately needing help, needing the attention or else she would not be putting herself in situations such as showing her behind - you nor I have made her do these things- she does these on her own. If her face plastered everywhere, again did you or I do that? Don't think so. She has needed psychiatric help for ages. The part where she cut off her head was a very telling point, same as self abuse. Anyone who has typed psychiatric work before knows about this. Same as multilating yourself and there is another celeb out there who does this, initials LL. This make get taken off the board, I hope not because is truthful. She has been crashing for some time. I wondered when the kids were going to be taken completely out of her care. This should have been done a long time ago for their safety, only supervised visits. Well, guess someone finally saw clear on that. After this required 72 hours of hospitalization she will make the choice to leave, I am sure and it will be a shame. She loves the limelight, though. She is really pitiful.
Yes, you are making the right decision (sm)
I was days away from making that decision myself with my old 20 year old baby, but she took the decision out of my hands, and I am grateful for that. Maybe your baby will too. If not, then she trusts you to do it for her. Hugs.
I think you are making her point, actually.
You describe the "wear their exhaustion as a badge of honor" syndrome.
But I don't think we have it easier that other generations. I don't think we have it harder. It's just relative to the times, roles, etc.
And just because your mom sucked it up, others moms may have not. Mothers' little helpers were a lot easier to get back in the day, trust me, and the kids never even knew...
Yep, a lot is what we decide as women, but you can't just wake up one day and decide you're going to take control. Once in a cycle of self-abuse or whatever one wants to call it, it's a very hard cycle to break, possible, but not easy...
we are and i am making things
finally got my stuff organized and am knitting/crocheting things for people. They may not want what i make but hey, lol.
Candy making
I use chocolate bark to dip with. I do know you have to watch the humidity outside. If the humidity is high, the chocolate will not set, but you can put it in the refrigerator to get it to set. Have fun!!
candy making
Aww, my favorite time of year. You can freeze your candy and it will still be good until Christmas. I make chocolate and peanut butter fudge and freeze it. As a matter of fact, it is really good frozen, takes longer to eat, just melts in your mouth. I have to disguise the candy in the freezer, otherwise people will pick at it and it will be gone by Christmas. YUM!
now you are making sense! sm
I am not being mean, just trying to get you to think! Now you will have to call a domestic abuse person in your state or an attorney and ask what you have to do. BUT if you truly are scared, you can go to a "safe house" tell them your story and I guarantee they will help you. Explain what you have said that you thought you hd waited too long. Also tell them what the cop told you years before. They hve heard it all. I am just trying to get you to leave before its too late. Sometimes it takes a rough push but you CAN do it and do well. Don't ever get it in your head there are no options. There are always options nad always hope as long as there is breath and life!
You are making a lot of generalizations...
and until you know someone's situation, you can only speculate. As far as name brands, should there be a law that those on food stamps can only buy dented cans without labels, bruised fruit, and out-of-date dairy products? Lighten up a bit and don't look down your nose at others...you may be in the same situation some day. Have a little compassion for those not as fortunate as you.
What about making a quilt? s/m
If you feel that you cannot wear them, then possibly select some of your favorite outfits that have memories and have someone make a quilt out of them. Then whenever you are missing her, wrap yourself in the quilt and it will feel like she is giving you a hug...
So sorry for your loss.
you are not making a big deal out of it
Does he have an IEP? What she did is a real problem. Huge. You need to have an advocate at that meeting.
personally I think you are making sm
up most of this stuff to get a fight started. But in case you aren't, I really feel sorry for you. A person who only cares about the "things" they have and can accumulate is a very very sad miserable being.
Its very obvious that you do not like people, are very unfriendly and only care about what you can get. I have news for you, it won't be going with you when you leave this world and the things don't keep you company either. you are pathetic!
Why is it selfish to have a child and not be making
at least 100,000 a year? Are you serious?!
We have 2 children and do not make quite that on combined salaries, but are very blessed in what we do have. Our children are happy and participate in activities outside the home, are well taken care of and have all the things they need and most of what they want. Last time I checked, having a kid and keeping them happy wasn't about keeping up with the Joneses. That is a warped sense of belonging that too many people have nowadays. Parents too who then pass it on to their kids. It's quite sad, really.
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