If father thought child support was not being spent
Posted By: on kids, he should have gone back to court. nm on 2008-04-04
In Reply to: Actually, the children were not dumped out... - phillychick
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child support
Mine owes over $76,000.
child support
I'm in southern Idaho and I was shocked one day to read in the paper that only 10% of people here who are supposed to pay child support are current on their payments. I knew it was a problem, but I didn't realize it was that bad. I generally think my ex is a selfish jerk, but I do give him credit that he has always paid his child support and it's no small amount ($1000 a month). Sometimes I think I'd rather have him out of our lives and give up the support payments, but then I realize that it's best for the kids to have a relationship with him (unless he was abusive, which he's not, just self-absorbed).
She was getting a lot of child support before and --
her exhusband just got out of the military and now refuses to give her any money. He is in another state and is not working anymore and says he does not have to.
Yes. There is a reason. I am a little behind on child support. sm
So, I am scared that it will be used against me. I get my son anything he needs and he is very well taken care of by the both of us. Very well. I fell on some hard times last year and I am now behind.
So, if I take this to court that will be held against me and I may lose him forever.
I did NOT want to go into any detail with my post. I just wanted to say that i was having a very hard day and was sad about the entire situation. That's all. Thanks for your caring.
Child support questions
I hope I'm on the right board here. :D I have 2 kids and have been divorced 4-1/2 years. I have had a child support order in effect since around 3 years ago, which included back pay for the whole 4-1/2 years. This was for (don't laugh) $125 a month. I FINALLY just started getting this support about a month ago. First, it was $25-something a week and the past couple weeks, it has dropped down to $9.65. I believe this is automatically coming out of his paycheck (this is the first job he's had in forever). He tells me he has a very good job in trucking and so, what my question is, if I go back to court to modify that order, to get more, since he now has a job, will I need an attorney, or can I do that on my own? I'm really thinking it won't even be worth the time and money with a lawyer, but I would like to have it modified, since he has an income. To add to that, I am paying $250 for the kids' insurance, and I wasn't when the original order was made. He also tells me he just bought a house (which is likely baloney, anyway), but if he can afford a house, surely he can afford more than $36 a month in child support.
PS: Per the handy-dandy canculator on the state website, figuring both our incomes in (what he claims to be getting, anyway), he should be owing between $1500 and $1800.
Thanks, y'all!
I got it! Tell him 1 more kid will equal a lot more child support after the divorce : )
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rant! who's owed the most child support?
mine is currently in arrears in the amount of $23,775 --- he inherited MILLIONS when his father died -- he refuses to work, he's never paid me a dime.... my case worker is attempting to put a lien on his $1/2-million home in Vegas.. Blessed with this child, but sure would like some support, maybe not have to work two jobs...
I'm so glad you're all here for ranting.... thanks, friends.
Of course he should help and he paid child support because they are his kids (nm)
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I did not receive any child support, so we agreed to
split all bills evenly as we have joint custody. That is what our papers say, that we split all major expenses, i.e., clothes, school supplies, education fees, etc.
Good point! Maybe he should have to pay child support!
!
Child support - must depend on state, my
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Child should have father's last name SM
and should see father, unless he was abusive. No matter what a woman may think of the guy, it will be disservice to child to not let him/her see father.
A divorced woman can keep name or change back to maiden. Doesn't matter. I kept my married name, since I had it for 30 years.
My father was also child #5 and
12 years younger than the #4. He was always told he was not an accident but a suprise. I watched Jesus Camp and don't agree with that way of "religon" at all.
Update traffic court/child support
Well, I managed to make it to family court yesterday and back home while flying low :) My son-in-law walked out 5 months in arrears and next payment due 3/1, already in debt for about 2 grand, plus he has to pay for the DNA test (99.999% - ha, didn't need Maury after all!) My daughter is $1500 in arrears with another payment due 3/1, and her order has been moved over into the category to take any Federal Income Tax refunds she gets in the future to be applied to the order. So now, finally, I should have no further court appearances unless the two want to TPR (terminpate parental rights) and let me adopt. The next step for my daughter is jail if she doesn't pay in March, so she is already making noises she might let me adopt. The dud has wanted to me to adopt her all along to avoid CS.
I went to municipal court and had the arrest warrant removed and was given another 2 months to pay the s-t-u-p-i-d ticket. I asked whether the judge would accept that I corrected the tag problem the next day and was told no. If it was expired at the time the ticket was written, then they do not make exceptions. I checked our local newspaper and the city hired 11 new officers in 2006 for the specific purpose of enforcing vehicle/driving codes in the city. They have increased the number of traffic-related tickets issued to almost 18,000 in 2006, up from less than 8,000 in 2004. Now I just have to remember to pay it, but did buy a new day planner today and have written 3 reminders to myself to pay it on time 
On another note, as I have no health insurance and need certain maintenance medications (almost $1000) a month, I found needymeds.com. I have already received a 3-month supply of one drug and will be receiving another each month shipped to my doctor's office. The manufacturers help people who fall between the cracks by providing free medications.
I feel a lot better about things. 
Don't you watch Judge Judy? Being behind in child support sm
does not disqualify you from seeing your children. It's true! LOL
Child support is a separate issue from visitation. nm
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Child support works by you supplying info to them
You need to contact the state - to supply where the other parent works....they don't track 'em down - you have to supply the info and everytime the other parent changes jobs, you have to call CS and supply them with the new info. Believe me, I did this from the time my child was 9 until 18......
You supply the info and you keep on CS behinds..........don't know what state you live in but in the 21st Century here in the USA - they are gunning for deadbeat parents
AND I live in a huge metropolitan area where said CS was gotten from...20 million people in my state......
Posters are correct, child support diff from visitation
Just because a parent is behind on child support does NOT mean you lost your visitation rights, even if you went to court and tried making restitution. What the courts might do is GARNISH your salary (if employed) with some going towards back child support. I am not sure if all states are the same, but I would think they are on this subject, but again, I'm not sure. Florida works this way though, this I can assure you.
A father can still be in child's life after divorce. I feel it's
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my father thought his MIL was
On the night I was born, my dad and his MIL sat in the same room together all evening while my mother was asleep in the next room. My dad said she stared at him all night long over her magazine to watch him squirm. By the way he was 20 at the time and she was 38.
To this day they have the same squirmy relationship.
It doesn't mean anything.
What about my father's cousin's kid? I thought he
Oh sorry. I thought he was a lawyer and the other two guys' father was judge. sm
My bad, but either way daddy can get him out of it.
I always thought Destiny's Child was generic, girl singers.
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Thank you all so much. I spent about 6
hours last night researching this man and his family via Google and MySpace. I am horrified at what I found - its a troubled family for sure, but they look great on the outside - no what I mean? The house is perfect - the guy is OCD about working in the lawn, etc. Always the appropriate holiday decoration - yet underneath the exterior they are monsters. I found the teenage daughter's MySpace and read thru postings all over, on other friends' boards, etc., and this kid has threatened to do physical harm to many kids - she alludes to bombings, and her screen name has her name followed by Kills. She has lots of posts about bomb threats at her school and sounds bragging about it. Her town name she chose has comments on bombing. Wonder where the kids are getting it from? This is way sicker than I ever imagined. I am mounting my evidence, documenting all this stuff, and just praying that nothing happens to me or my family. I would love to move - just isn't a possibility right now. I am going to research the nursing tonight, but sure got side tracked on the MySpace stuff. The mother/wife even has her own sick site. Its unreal. And its unreal how easy it is to find people on that place. Oh well. Will keep you all posted.
I spent over $64.00 on
green queen sized olives yesterday, eat them like candy.
that is really sad - spent my honeymoon on
Padre Island - guess the beaches went the way of my marriage - down the tubes!
I was out before 8:30 and spent about an hour
shopping- I do not like to shop at all and mostly this morning bought things for me, like some flannel PJs and some sweaters at the outlet store. The crowd not bad at all- only 1 ahead of me in the checkout. I shop over the net quite a bit but had received flyer and things I wanted I got.
Some time spent with them would be
a gift only you could give.
Last month I spent $321 for 3 of us.
It's just DH, 18 year-old son, and I. We live in the Philadelphia area. We generally eat far less meat than most American families, but we aren't vegetarian. My son commutes to a nearby university and works there, as well. He provides his own lunches, and probably only eats breakfast at home half of the time.
Now, if you want to factor in what we pay for the meal plan for our son who lives away at college, well then... that's a whole other story! KA-CHING!
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
Money spent and nothing to show for it
I paid a little over $600.00 for a dinette suite the first of April. They had to order and I called time and time again and finally told the store in August I wanted my money back. No reply. I took out a small claims against the company and the guy did not even show (although he got the complaint because he called me at home and said "I had fallen thru the crack." Yeh- right ! Anyway, by this time had bought another set and asked for just the return. No response to the file and now have gotten a judgement just for his not showing up. I am given a list of several things to collect my money, i.e. file Fi. Fa. which places lien against losing party and any property they own, 2) file garnishment against his paycheck, 3) file garnishment on his bank acct, 4) levy against real and person property (this I would have to contact lawyer for) and lastly turn judgement over to attorney or collection agency for collection. Please, anyone have any ideas on what steps I should take? I would like to not have to spend a lot of money if possible. Thanks
I probably could have spent my time, money, everything
on me because I gave them so much and now it came down to money. One is a me type person and the other, if all they care about is the $$$ and would talk nasty to me, I can wipe my hands of anyone and I mean that, who does not respect me after all I did for them. Most of the posts you read here are mothers who have younger children and most are ok when babies, toddlers but the real life comes as they get up and supposedly have some sense. I did my job and thought I did a good job. Now time for me, me, me.
I have a MIL who was jealous of any time I spent - sm
with my family. It caused a lot of hurt feelings on her side, and just made me angry for the most part. You don't sound anything like my MIL though but it sounds like you did not push the issue and fight for the right to see your grandchildren. In my situation, I married 1 of 2 sons. The other has never married or had any children. We have the only grandchildren for my MIL. She was manic that we have kids though she was vastly disappointed when we had girls and has remarked on this several times in the past. It is true we trusted my mom over her in terms of childcare, etc. though my mom rarely watched the kids as she lived 4 hours away. I did visit my mom at least 4-6 x a year, but I would drop in and visit my MIL and my FIL almost every time as I literally drove right by their house on the way up to my parents. My DH rarely calls his parents, I usually call his mom once a week and chat for a while. She used to never call but lately has taken to calling every 2 weeks or so. We also used to see his parents at least once a month for at least 5 years (now it is every 6-8 weeks), day visits, while my parents only saw the kids 4-6 x a year, though I would stay anywhere from 2-5 nights when I visited. This where the jealously came into play. I was/am very close to my parents and my brothers, much like your DIL I suspect. But I was exceptionally close to my mom, when she died almost 3 years ago my world fell apart. But my MIL was always jealous of my relationship with my mom, it drove her nuts I think. My DH tried to explain to her how close were were but she just could not understand and it caused her (and me) many problems. I would catch such grief from his family when I told them I was going to see my parents/friends, it was as if they wished I did not have a family. Holidays were horrible though we did do an alternating schedule though she would argue with me about that. Things a lot different now as she now gets to be the only grandma, which I am sure she loves. My stepmother is actually better with the kids though and has a great time with them, though I will never be close to her either. My in-laws get just about all the holidays now since my mom is gone and my stepmom wants to be with her kids not her husbands, so I don't get so see my family much anymore, maybe 2 x a year. Much more complicated these days, though we still don't let them (my in-laws) have the kids as they lack in common sense bigtime when it comes to what is safe and smart for my kids. I am not saying that is the case with you as I don't know your particulars of course. But it sounds like you just gave up. I would not try buying your son's love as it sounds like you did try. I know my in-laws tried though we were up front with them with one money gift they gave us that enabled us to pay off our truck in 1 year instead of 4, that it would not buy them weekends with the kids, etc. We told them that if there were strings we did not want the money. Money does not buy love as the Beatles said, very true. I would write back your granddaughter and say you would like to have a new beginning with her and the past is over and done with , and if she ever does want to know the real story, tell her. As for your son, have you even called him and invited him to your new home, it does not sound like it. Sounds like you expect a lot and are upset because they don't do the same for you as they do for the daughter's parents. The daughter controls the kids for the most part (as do most women) so it is to be expected that her family gets their "favor" more. You need to step up and be assertive. My in-laws do do most of the visitings here (we have actually never invited them here, they just call us and say that they are coming down on such and such a day, kind of aggravating), we rarely go up there as my DH just hates going there and really does not like his parents due to a bad upbringing. They really did a number on him. Does your son have any anamosity towards you? Did something bad happen in the past? You are long overdue for a long talk with him though. But I work hard to keep the lines open with them as much as I don't like doing it, I do it. My kids love them and I would never deprive them of that. I hope you take the first step and write to your granddaughter again, and call you son. You have absolutely nothing to lose at this point. Good luck.
how I spent my Monday morning...sm
Just wanted to say how much I missed this community while I was away...take a look at the picture I've linked...that's my neighborhood during our mandatory evacuation from the Marek Fire in California... Didn't know if I should post this here or on the mental health or prayer request boards LOL! Grateful to have my home...and my home office...next time you dread Monday morning...keep this as a reminder to renew your perspective! javascript:editor_insertHTML('text','');
We paid cash, spent about
$1000 total for grandkids and gifts for each other. We are debt free except our house. There is nothing like being able to sleep well at night and not be afraid to answer the phone should it ring. We have lived this way for many years, have learned to save money, pay cash for what we want. This has been to our benefit as we haven't had our CC companies drop our limits or increase our percentage rates at all; in fact, our limits keep rising even though we only use them once or twice a year. The thought of having to pay for something many months and years later is baffling to me.
Just spent an entire week in FL with brother sm
and his whole family - wife - 3 kids. To make a long story short, my sister in law does not like me. I'm about 7 years younger than she is. She is very jealous of my close relationship with my bro. Always. This trip she made it very clear how much she does not like me at all. I cried a lot this trip. My feelings have been so badly hurt. I've never done anything to her personally - she just hates me. My brother was very standoffish this trip and I know why. He has a very jealous wife. They would just get up and leave and not tell us where they were going or invite us. They NEVER used to do things like that. The whole time, if ever I had a suggestion for dinner or entertainment she would shoot it down with, "I don't want to do that!" I'm talking everything I came up with. What's even sadder is that they have 2 girls - my nieces - 13 and 15 - who used to love and adore me - their aunt - and this trip they were so ugly to me. I haven't seen them in over a year. We stayed in a 2 BR condo on the beach. Pretty small unit. They got the master BR. While walking to my room one evening the 3 of them (sister in law and 2 girls) were just berating me in gossip - talking about what I wore to the beach, the way I styled my hair, just stup*d things. Just gossiping so bad about me. I wanted to cry.
After I heard that about mid-way through the trip, I completely shut down emotionally. I only spoke when spoken to, didn't suggest anything at all to do, and was cordial, but not overly friendly like I usually am. Today when we left, she walked right by me in the hall and didn't say a word. Got into the car and they drove off. I had already said by to the kids and my bro. I cried when hugging my bro. He had his sunglasses on - he probably wanted to cry to. We lost our dad growing up and our mom pretty much abandoned us. We've stuck together until he moved out of state and started his family. I did too. He gets along GREAT with my husband and my kids.
What compels women to act like this? I don't understand it. Why would you want to live in your own prison of hate and bring everyone around you down? I can't stop crying! My brother lives about 2,000 miles away. I want to be close to him and his wife and kids. She won't allow it.
I know I have to just accept this is life and the way it will be. I am having a pity party. Can I say this eloquently without you taking offense? I am hating women right now. No matter how kind and nice I am, I always get slapped in the face. Always. I am a very kind and nice person. My mom always said I had wishbone but no backbone. I guess I just expect others to be kind, too, and when they aren't, I get hurt and I don't understand it. 
Perhaps if mother Spears spent more time
parenting and less time pimping her kids all over Hollywood, this might not have happened.
Save your money, other ways better spent
NM
spent NYE playing Rock Band for PS2
a lot of fun though discovered I'm never going to be a drummer (or a singer) :) So I guess I won't quit my day job.
My DH spent his check and we have no money for food this week. :(
the jerk
wrong...he spent 4 years in korean schools
Do you mean the actual hours of school. or also time spent
ol
Spent 2 hours with my kids playing that today - fun! nm
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Getting there early and staying late, time spent on phoning
il
Thanks for the support.
I understand exactly where you are coming from. You don't see atheists walking around and knocking on other people's doors. I have friends who are Catholic, Methodist, Lutheran, Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, Episcopalian, Atheist, Agnostic, and even Wiccan, so whose religion is "right?"
thanks, but what is HP support?
i've been kinda worried about this little error message...apprec the info.
what is HP Support
Sorry about the HP Support. It is Hewlett Packard. I was just having a moment and should have just said to email support at whatever brand of computer you owned.
I had this same problem with my Dell computer also and had no clue it was just an update I needed to do since adding security. I did this since grandchildren will be visiting and didn't want them getting into my files, uninstalling programs or anything else; won't have to sit and watch them 24/7 while playing games on one of my computers. Anyway, you're more than welcome.
Thanks . . . for your support
nm
SUPPORT
I barely weigh 110 pounds and that is with my clothes and shoes with something else in my pocket.....You have my support....
support
Whether I spoke or not has nothing to do with it.....when I was 16, I only weighed about 95 pounds..I am just thin, small, petite and have been so all of my life......I was just trying to give support to anyone who is trying to lose weight if they are determined to do....did not mean to offend anyone.....a person can accomplish anything they have their mind set on when they have a lot of support to do so.....THAT IS ALL I WAS TRYING TO SAY......
What do you mean she does not support herself
Is she on welfare? Does she freeload off her parents or other relatives? I think not.
I've read her other posts and yes she stated her husband has a good job. Does that mean she does not support herself. I think not. YOUR OPINION IS INAPPROPRIATE.
I have been married for many years. Some years I had a taxable income and other years I did not. I did, however, support my husband by cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children, etc. I take offense to your insinuation that just because someone's spouse makes a good living that makes the other spouse's contributions insignificant. Thank goodness the IRS doesn't see it your way, hence, the filing jointly box.
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