If enough boys show up, the girls will follow...sm
Posted By: Moo on 2009-03-09
In Reply to: posted this before - mom
but if he is still worried about her screwing it up for him, maybe there is a game or some other event he and some friends can be taken to? This was discussed here a long time ago, but when I was a kid, my dad took some of my friends and me to a Phillies game for my B-day. It still makes me smile after all these years.
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Us girls need WAY more discipline than boys!
If you don't keep us in line when we're young and impressionable....whoo boy look out!
I'm watching how my nieces are turning out now that they are in their teens and I'm just floored. The one, who is not even 16 now, has been sleeping with her boyfriend, IN HER PARENTS HOME WITH THEIR FULL CONSENT, for the past 2 years now. I ask my brother all the time, "What are you thinking...wait, don't answer that, you're not!" He just shakes his head and tries to explain to me that, because I'm not a parent, I could never understand and he'd rather have them "doing it" in the safety of their home. Can you imagine?!
Our mother would be slapping him into the next millenium if she were alive today. She certainly didn't raise us like that.
There are 6 of us, 3 boys and 3 girls, some of us are even step
We all get along fairly well actually, its some of the sistes-in-law and brothers-in-law that we cannot stand ! LOL. Thankfully, (not to be mean), but everyone, except 1 is divorced from the ones we couldnt stand and now they have found others that we get along with. My one brother is still single after his divorce.
We used to kid around "what is wrong with so-and-so? - Oh yeah, they are not like us!!"
4 girls, 2 boys in my family. sm
Although,I am the youngest of the 6, my older sisters have lots of resentment towards my mother. The only advice or suggestion I can give is to live your life and tell mom to butt out. It may be uncomfortable to say; however, it must be done.
Do not feel guilty, do not feel bad, turn the phone off and do not take the calls for a while. Most likely, the mother will never learn and will ruin all relationships with her daughters if she does not stop. I have seen it happen and it has happened in my family. They don't change and they never think or admit they are wrong, let alone apologize.
Sometimes, as hard as it is, you need to take your space and stay away for a while.
Talking to her does not help, she won't listen, especially if she is older than 65.
Anyway, that's how I see things.
Which are easier to raise -- boys or girls?
I was always told boys. I had 2 girls and uff-dah what a hormonal nightmare. Now I have a teenage boy and those hormones are at least as bad. Prolly worse.
Exactly . . . pedophiles prey on girls and boys, but
xx
Did you read the figures of boys to girls amongst the kids? sm
There must be about 15 or 20 female children for every male child. There is NO WAY that is NOT scewed by something. Are they murdering male children? Are they casting them out of the sect? Are they forcing adoptions of male children born to the sect, outside of the sect? Is it that they "need" more females so that they can grow up to be polygamist wives?
SOMETHING is going on there.
Likes to show off in front of the boys.
xx
The Shining. When those twin girls show up and I'm watching it alone,
xx
Follow up to the above
Parvo causes the mucus, blood and also weight loss that you are describing. Once I found out what was in my yard, it seemed like it never went away. Years later I had forgotten and hubs brought home another puppy and put in the backyard. The same thing happened. If not treated in a yard, seems like it just stays on. Older dogs seem not to have problem because I guess their immunity built up. I hope you get to a veterinarian as soon as possible because it does kill if not treated.
I can't follow this for the
Follow up
I guess my first question would be, who made the decision to have the sleepover? Obviously you allowed your son to have the boy over -- did you talk to the mother about the arrangements? What if something had happened, i.e., a medical condition and you needed to contact the parents? Sounds to me like you were "duped into being a free babysitter for that kid" (and not sure if they had others who might have been farmed out) but the parents were totally irresponsible, but you have to take part of the blame as well for not checking into things more thorougly -- I think that if the parents had not answered a home line or a cell line and NOT called back within a hour or 2 I would have been on the phone to the authorities -- when are parents going to learn that these are innocent, sweet, children and something like this can leave emotional scars for a very long time
You have to follow your instincts and
A therapist ideally really should be able to adjust their style to the needs of the client. In the end, what matters is are you making progress? ... is she helping you address the issues you came to her with in a way that is meaningful to you? ... and is she challenging you emotionally? It reminds me of the movie, Girl Interrupted, where Angelina Jolie's character is lamenting that nobody cared enough to push her buttons. It's one thing to be a friend who is supportive and accepting of one as they already are. It's another to not care enough to "push the right buttons" to help someone challenge their shortcomings.
It sounds like you have examined this relationship and find it lacking. There is no shame in telling someone, even a therapist, that you are not getting out the relationship as much as you are putting into it (in this instance, a lot of money). At least you can say learning to trust your instincts is one thing you did get out of the relationship.
Follow up on this cat stuff
I just got back from the store and bought some hairball control dry cat food. The older cat I spoke about drinks water so no problem there. I got the dry as well as several cans of wet hairball control so probably will mix a little of the wet with dry to start out with. I also bought glove to run over the cat and get rid of some of the excessive fur. This is not a common shedding as she has had for sometime, surprised she has any left. I have hairball gel that I could give them in addition to this. Thanks for the insight!
Follow your instincts
I had this happen years ago with my brother. I tried to make him realize I didn't do what he thought, but he wouldn't budge. I chalk it up as a lesson learned in life, you can't make another person think or believe anything they don't want to. If I dwell on it, it still burns me up, so I try to leave it behind. Anyway, trust your instincts, they will never let you down.
mammogram-follow up
I was diagnosed and beat breast cancer after a very caring radiologist kept taking additional views. I go back next month for my first mammogram, kind of scared, but I'm stronger now, so off I will go. That was an excellent post. I wish more people would get checked and be faithful with following. Have a wonderful day.
It may not but people who follow it will
We are not intimidated by the Bible. We are just sick of the people who think they are more rightous than others becase they wear their religion on their sleeves while they cram down our throats that they are better than us. If it gives a man comfort, then he will receive the same comfort if that bible is in his posession but not for all the world to see. How can you be sick of Christians always being in the wrong when they are given more rights than people of other faiths. If you want to talk about people being wronged out of their religion being able to be openly observed you should consider what the Wiccans have to go through. And for pitty's sake I'm sick of hearing how we are taking "Him" out of everything. Your not the first to say it, I've heard it before and its absolutely untrue.
I definitely did not follow the crowd - sm
I was basically a "good" girl though, though had a secret side only my friends knew about. Had my own sense of style totally different than everyone else, I looked pretty good then, (early 80s, graduated in 1983), lots of purple and feathers. Was mainly an A student, Art teacher's pet, principal's pet, in marching band (baton twirler), starting at 15 drank beer when I could (rarely), at 16 smoked pot a couple times a month, more when I was senior but not much more, never bought it myself - had 3 BFs, we all drank/smoked pot, though one did it much more than the rest of us, she was a straight A student too. Was never an "addict" and never tried anything stronger than pot, saw the damage the harder drugs did on others and had no desire to screw myself up or fry my brain, did NOT have sex in HS though 2 of my friends did starting at 15- both were drunk their first time, had enough drama with them to not want to do that until I was ready and sure I'd use birth control. I had a good time, parent's never knew of the things I had been up to, was very good at keeping it all under wraps.
I missed the show but yesterday on her show
a couple of brothers came in and gave money to the family. Sorry I don't have more info, but like you, I do love the show. The brothers tried to give some of the credit to Oprah but she wouldn't take it. She really wanted the brothers to get all the credit.
Very smart. We should all follow, but for some reason, it's almost sm
entertainment for some. Isn't that sad?? We find "entertainment" in someone else's grief and sorrow. What else do you call it? I hardly ever watch t.v. In fact, I didn't find out about the shootings until 3:30 when I read that 30+ people were dead! I was shocked!
The media wouldn't give it to us if we didn't show intense interest in it. It seems the more drama it is, the higher the ratings. So, so sad.
Like I said, I read about the accounts on-line at People.com where they never have any news on there - just celebrity gossip. I know, it's not much better, but it's hardly ever death, shootings, earthquakes, terrorism, kidnapping, and the like. I can't handle that kind of stuff.
Thank you for all the responses. I will follow your advice. nm
!
Follow up on cat gorging and throwing up
Posted a few days ago, had Ms. Thang to the veterinarian's office today and he thought possibly hyperthyroidism because of extremely fast heartbeat, hair loss, the 3 pounds weight loss since the end of last year- labs done and sure nuff, hyperthyroidism. Vicious cycle of the gorging, throwing up, seemingly never getting enough to eat- hopefully now with medication can get this under control.
Go to their web site and follow their procedure - sm
they have it all there how to report problems, etc.
Follow the part that has the brains. : ) nm
x
That's horrible. OP--Don't follow this poster's example.
A letter like this is probably the most inappropriate way to have dealt with the situation other than beating the kids up yourself. I'm going to assume this letter was also sent anonymously. Awful, awful, awful.
This thread is a little confusing to follow so I will just
throw my experience out there and see if it works. I was in my 30s when I started having problems with dryness. My husband thought it was because I didn't want him, and I kind of felt weird about it, but it really was just physical - I am not sure what caused it. Finally, he expressed to me that the sex was not as good anymore - I agreed - so I tried using artificial lubricants. The sex was so much better and there was not so much unspoken baggage about the whole thing.
We have been married for 20 years, gone through an almost divorce, and raised 2 kids, so I am not sure why that was such a hard issue to talk about. Like others said, sometimes the sex is hot and you want bunches, sometimes its the furthest thing from your mind, but ultimately just talking about the problem worked for us.
Follow up on money transferring
Went into the bank this morning, talked with someone yesterday and the only way to set it up on line is thru transfer instead of bill pay. I also use bill pay but this would be between 2 bank centers. Noticed below where someone said wire transfers cost $$ but with transferring this way it is $3.00 per transfer.
Again, I follow what the Bible says, that homosexuality is sinful &
support homosexuality by selling items of that nature is not where I will be shopping. You can try to twist this around every way possible, but I am not judging anyone. God will do that. No, I do not associate with gay people, but that does not mean that I would not be pleasant to someone who is. I don't agree with the gay lifestyle, I don't shop at stores that sell homosexual items, and you can make me out to be the bad guy all you want. I believe in what I believe.
I'm probably older than you and I DO follow rules of etiquette,
s
Great post, I am going to follow your advice
It says everything that should be said. I in no way feel just because family should accept, in that were the case every family member could just stop in and that would be feeding an army. I dislike the bad manners to start with; never should you say you are coming to a dinner not having been invited in the first place. To be truthful, feel like uninviting the others he volunteered to drive here- if not for them he would have never known about the dinner in the first place. They told him at a Thanksgiving dinner they had (we were invited, working though, did not attend) and I really resent their saying anything about in in front of other family members who I did not invite this year. We usually have a group of 10 only here at my home, the same each and every year. Others are out of town. Thanks for the wonderful suggestions! I shall follow through.
less is best....fewer words. If you need to say Hi, do not follow it with how are you, if she asks
nm
Ok, here's the link - unbelievable that people would follow this man!!!
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?cl=7455894
you will have to cut and paste - sorry - I don't know how to link it
Follow the burned kitten's health updates
of those two evil teenage girls at:
http://www.forgottenfelines.com/v4/adam.shtml
You can also find news and archived articles at the "Press Democrat" newspaper website. Looks like the kitty may recover, but his bills could reach $30,000 before he's well again. 
Sorry you couldn't follow me. I have work to finish up. Have a nice day. nm
x
It's not the worker's fault. She has to follow the rules or be fired. sm
I've taken a lot of flack from a lot of customers, and the run-of-the-mill retail worker really has no freedom to make decisions. When the worker is caught between a yelling customer and a yelling manager, who do you think she'll listen to?
Yes, but keep in mind ks that Christian's follow EVERY word of the Holy Bible
g
Definitely boys for me.
nm
23 and 24 with my boys...sm
I used to be able to climb trees and did the iron kids triathelon with them....
My sister had her child at 42....the only girl outta 7 grandchildren....guess who's grandma's princess? 
oh boys
will be boys!
boys
My son is 15 and I cannot tell you how many interviews and interrogations we have had to go through. Every time he has been on a date the parents want to meet us and see our house, etc. I has been a flipping nightmare, especially since these little flings last about a week and are over after the dance! In my humble opinion, find her something else to do. That is what I have had to do with my son. I just can't take the pain anymore. Join some super busy, mega overly scheduled adult supervised something! Shoo, shoo, mama is working!
I don't think so. I have 2 boys. They have
proven that circumcision can be beneficial for several reasons, not to mention it is more hygienic. I was conflicted with my first son because my OB/GYN was against it. She was African-American and I don't know if it was a cultural thing or what. She did do my son, but she didn't take enough off, it wasn't her decision to make. My second son I didn't hesitate.
My mom said that at 8 days she took my brothers to be circumcised - based on the Bible.
I can't see how it would be called abuse. I think it is personal choice. I can't tell you how many reports I've done on men over 50 who have had problems and have had to be circumcised.
Two boys
I have 2 boys; 24 and 19. The older one moved away to college, the school dropped his program after 2 years, so he floundered and moved back home. After 6 months told him get a job, pay his bills, go to school or get out. He went to work FT and paid all his own bills, moved out for a few months with some guys (who did not pay their share of the rent) and then moved back home, went back to college, has made the honor roll for the last year while working, just started in 2009 charging him room and board as he is after all 24. Other son 19, almost lost him to bad decisions and bad friends at 14-15 but is on the right track now; in college and working PT, pays his bills. He goes to the community college, looking into a 2+2 program, told him to go away for the last 2 years as he will get the experience of being on his own without being totally on his own. He has a serious girlfriend. I am more worried about those 2 getting an apartment together first and then him not finishing school. Older son is working on buying a house within 18 months and younger son will live with him (if not with girlfriend first.) I have to say I'm looking forward to an empty nest.
While I don't have boys but -sm
two young girls, 9 and 10, for years I would cover for my DH, get the card, mail it to his mom, make him call her on Mother's Day (remind him 50x)....For years when my kids were babies I would get nothing from him, because as he would say, I was not his mother. Well what about those two squirmy kids of ours, I am their mother. I told him he needed to help them and get a card from them to give to me, or help them make me a card, whatever that did not matter. (I have always made sure he got something from the kids on Father's day). The kids have been able to be the ones to remind him now for the last few years about special days, Mother's Day and my birthday which is great. I don't want much, just a card and Happy B or Mom day, just acknowledgement basically. He had some sort of epiphany a year or two ago and now sends his mom flowers every Mom Day and at Christmas, think this was the 3rd one in a row(guilt and belief they are dying coming to bear now, MIL is 74 but doing quite well), still did not send her a card though, figured the card with the flowers was enough. I made him go out an buy the card (instead of me coving his butt as usual). We all signed it and he mailed it. I never missed with my mom and did something every year until she died. She kept ever one of my cards too, found them after she died. ---I would still send your son a card on his birthday but leave the money out, betcha that will grab his attention. ----My DH doesn't remember anyone's birthday, he forgot mine a few times which stunk. I take care of getting the cards, mailing them, etc., though refuse to do Mom day anymore, I still have to nag at him to call his mom, dad on their birthdays, etc. Some guys are just lazy and don't want to be bothered with it.
Two boys.
I have 2 boys and enjoy them immensely. The oldest drives me nuts with some of the decisions he makes. He is funny, easy going, lots of friends and just doesn't take life too seriously.
My youngest is 17. He is very smart, has big plans for college and career (he says, you don't have to understand what it is mom, you just have to pay for it). My regret is that I wish I'd had more kids. I would take a whole house full of boys. So much fun!!
I raised 2 boys on my own.
Maybe some of these techniques that assisted me can do the same for you:
1) Literally write down a list of rules that you want observed in your home. Not what you think you can get him to do but what you actually WANT. Make copies for his bedroom, for the refrigerator, for his billfold, for every room you can. (I printed mine off and framed them in certificate frames and hung them up. Be specific. Cover all areas.)
2) Literally write down behaviors and language you are not going to tolerate and rank them.
2) Literally write down a list of everything that is important to this youngster. Include friends (by name), electronics (iPod, computer, etc.), privileges (telephone, friends coming over, going out, driving), and places he enjoys going (movies, sports events, eating establishments, etc.). Rank these in order of importance to him.
3) If possible, have your husband (separated, correct?) to meet with you first and agree and provide a united front. Agree on what you expect of him as his parents, what is best for his wellbeing. Write down how you will construct discipline and dispense punishment. Make it appropriate, reasonable and, above all, something you will actually do.
5) Have a meeting with your son (and your husband, if he is onboard with you). Give your son a copy of the new rules, the discipline tactics, the unacceptable behaviors and the punishments. Go over each one of them. Don't argue. Don't explain too much. The lists are clear. Everything has a yes/no as to its use and everything has an if with it as well.
Here's the hardest part: Do what you say. If his language is offensive, he can't talk on the phone. Period. No exceptions, period. Even if you have to unplug it and keep the cord in your pocket. Never argue; never raise your voice. Just calmly make your statement and leave it alone. The more he carries on, the more trouble he will incur. Let him handle the stress of it. If you protect him from the consequences of his actions, he will never, ever change and never learn. (Warning: His behavior WILL get worse before it gets better and then it will wax/wane on occasion just to test the waters.)
Stay with him after school in his tutoring. I showed at school one day in high school for my oldest. One day for 2 classes and that was all it ever took. Made the difference with my youngest, too! Neither one wanted me showing up and sitting next to him in class! Be there but let the teacher do the tutoring. Just be there to enforce his attendance and understand what is happening in the sessions.
Praise good/changed behavior but do not reward it. If it is behavior you are wanting to be an expected behavior, praise it, acknowledge it. Reward exceptional behavior that goes beyond what you have set rules for.
Make sure he is involved in his own caretaking: Laundry, specific chores (no pay -- no ma'am, do not pay any child to contribute to their household), help cook one night a week, yard work, etc.
Be watchful of his music, TV watching, movie going. These can have just as devastating of an impact on him as his so-called friends. Make sure you know who his friends' parents are, what they do; do you agree with how they live? How these friends act? If not, restrict his activities with them.
Get him involved in some type of sport he enjoys and into a youth group if at all possible. It is important.
I hope these tips will help you as much as they did me.
my boys are warriors
Both have been deployed at one time or another to Iraq. One is there now. The other boy told me that he had gone to the funeral of one of his brave friends who had been killed. Those horrible people were there from Kansas, but the Harley people were there also, 200 to 300 of them, each holding a flag, protecting the family of the soldier from the disgusting behavior of that supposed church. Made chills go up and down my spine. Can you imagine that many flags in one place being used to protect a family! GO HARLEY WARRIORS!
boys or girl
I have 2 of each (yes 4 in all) and I would defitenly say boys right now. My kids are still young so may be my mind will change with age!
huh? boys much easier? NOT...NM
Boys do go through stages.
On the other hand, depression can come out as anger.
I think mothers are supposed to help their kids understand their feelings and talk to them, but it can be difficult to get boys to express themselves.
It's think it's a normal stage to go through for boys to just be annoyed by girls because girls are so talkative and different, sometimes dating-obsessed or gossip-obsessed or whatever, and for a boy it's annoying.
Maybe he doesn't enjoy competing with a girl who is older.
I think he would rather spend time with boys right now, but boys need something to do together so they stay out of trouble.
But he needs to realize that he doesn't really hate girls. He just doesn't enjoy the different developmental stages they go through. And your daughter might benefit from knowing how males' brains work - that guys don't admire girls who are obsessed about stuff they think is silly.
Just some thoughts. Parenting is hard, but respect for siblings should be taught, and some space from each other can go a long way.
That's for sure and something I hear over and over. Boys
s
To me it always seems to be harder on the boys (sm)
My husband are like that - oil and water for sure. We just can hardly stand to live together anymore. We have been trying to stay together for the kids for years.
How did affect you and your sister?? Would it have been better if they had stayed together or was it just a bad situation either way? I feel like I am choosing the lesser of the evils.
My boys had to pay me twice as much as their tickets sm
If the ticket was 50.00, they had to pay me 100.00, too. No ifs, ands or buts. Didn't have to take away the keys. This worked every time. They are all good drivers now. None of the speed.
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