If can live together as friends, yes. If home is battle
Posted By: zone, no. nm on 2008-03-24
In Reply to: Stay together for the children - yes or no? (sm) - Carolina MT
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I live in NY! Atrocious! Friends have gone. Never again. Tree won't even be up until the next
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Anyone have plans for the Superbowl? Staying home, going to friends, making food,
I do not live in a home of my own and am not permitted to SM
have a pet. I am surprised that is such an issue. I love animals dearly. I would take every stray I could find if I had the money and the property to do so.
What is sadder is the grandparents live in a small home, 3 bedroom, and filed bankruptcy 2 years ago
nm
Ours attend local college PT and still live at home. Hard to make ends meet "out there" on
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battle for your soul
I finally had to pretend God and the devil were fighting it out for my soul. So I wasn't standing up to the cigarettes, but the devil himself. God won. A little melodramatic, but withdrawal is pretty dramatic.
My battle with public schools
I will try not to get to long-winded here, but I wanted to let you know my experience with public schools. My youngest of 3 boys has extreme expressive language delay. His first word was at 4.5 and was Mama. No autism, no physical reasons. In every other aspect, he was normal.
After he was no longer eligible for state intervention after 3 years of age, we paid for private speech therapy but that was killing us and our insurance did not cover it. So we decided to enroll him in the preschool 4 year old program the following year.
It was a nightmare two weeks experience. The principal of the school would not let parents walk their kids to class. I was expected to bring my 4 year old nonverbal scared child to the front door and some teacher would escort him. In that two weeks, we had many meetings trying to resolve the problems. In addition, my son began to act out in extreme ways, peeing, screaming, hitting, kicking. It was not normal for him at all.
Finally, that Friday of the second week, it all came to an head for me. My son was screaming and hiding under the steering wheel that morning. I was crying. It had been a nightmare dealing with an insane school bureaucracy to get help, my husband being no help and saying we just needed to give it more time, and my little formerly sweet son acting out so savagely.
I decided that was it. He was only 4 for goodness sake. I went in to remove him from school. I was met in the office (the only place parents could go in the building - I swear this is true!) by the principal and told that I was to leave my child there, leave, or she would call the police!
This woman was something else. She refused to listen to any of my concerns, and refused at all to let me go into the classroom! I literally begged in tears in her office to **allow** me to go to my son's class to help so I could see what was going on. Parents were not allowed to help out in school unless on special days, like field day.
A shouting match ensued - and I mean my mama bear came roaring out. My son was there with me, clinging to my leg for all he was worth, listening to the principal and I scream at each other. Because the principal literally screamed at me back. It was without a doubt one of the worst experiences in my life. Teachers came running to see what was going on...my son's teacher was there trying to calm me down. I left that building with my son and have never been back.
My husband came racing home from work, I was so hysterical when I called, fearing they would take our child away from us. There were phone calls the next couple days from the school superintendent - Oh, we're so sorry. She's a new principal. She will be talked to about this. Come back, etc.
By that time, I was in battle fatigue and scared to death of my child being taken away. Fast forward now 5 years...He is talking up a storm, reading, very good in math, and is back to his sweet and gentle self. We chose homeschooling. We didn't want to really but couldn't afford private schools.
We got swept up in a great co-op that has become our pseudo-school. He takes classes there and has made very good friends. The kids were all very accepting of him from the first and did not tease at all about his speech. Last year, at graduation ceremonies, he read a booklet so clear and perfectly pronounced. One of the mom's put her arm around me because she knew what a long journey it has been for him.
So, that's my story. Sorry so long. For my other two sons, my eldest is in high school public school. My middle son couldn't stand being in school with his younger brother having so much fun in co-op and we homeschool him too.
This could be a life long battle about who gets what--sm
I say---exhume the body of the son, creamate both the son and Anna Nicole, share the ashes with anyone who wants a piece of her and the boy. Argument over.
jmo
agree. I was rased in a battle zone -
it scared the crap out of me and it was daily. To this day, I aim to please (him) to keep the peace, and never achknowlede what I might want. If there is an argument - I end up doing it like my parents...poorly.
When my parents finally split, I remember life being calm and I didn't live in fear anymore.
sad we have to battle the school system that we pay for, but has she been tested for dyslexia? sm
sounds like a repeat of my daughter who is now in 5th grade and it has been a battle every since. in fact, i posted message on here few months ago regarding her. she also has dyslexia, which is quite common and sounds like your daughter may have too. we had it in our family so i knew she had it given her symptoms. school says they can't test til 3rd grade. hello, who can catch up when they are that far behind? i fought it enough i finally got someone to say, we can test earlier if the parents' request it. so they did and it has helped her tremendously til we moved this year and now she gets a "video" dyslexia class that sux and doesn't help. i am not sure how to continue battling it from this point. at her prior school though she went from failing to A's and B's with dyslexia help and extra time on assignments, verbal reading, etc. with her IEP.
I agree. I posted below about living in the battle zone -
If my parents would have had counseling, I might have been given a better example of how to disagree constructively and carried that forward in my life. Counseling is for getting through anything, you name it. Divorce too.
(your kids might need a place to voice themselves other than you, too.)
When you have friends - it's good. But when you don't have friends it's
REALLY GOOD!!!
I swear, I have this one friend who just gets mad at me stupid stuff. I told her a few weeks ago that I could probably go out this sat. but now I can't make it (just dinner). So, I emailed her and told her I can't go. She's upset. Thinks I should not have made plans in the first place. Well, things come up.
Why are people (women) so catty? Immature?
Are there any women out there who can: Forgive, understand, not get offended because I am not perfect? If so, I'd like to meet you. I highly doubt she exists though.
Buy a home of my own - not a palace, but more of a smallish home on a large piece of land. (nm)
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Anyone move from a single family home to mobile home? sm
I own and live in a house in a midwest city in a bad neighborhood (wasn't that bad 11 years ago). I spent the day waiting for the plumber to come and jackhammer the foundation (slab house, no basement) to find a leaky pipe that is flooding my DD's bedroom. Last week, it was the electrician with quotes for costly repairs.
In the meantime, I've really been thinking about selling out and moving into a mobile home. Has anyone done this before? Is a mobile home in a decent park less of a hassle than a regular house? I'm so tired of cutting the grass and spending $$ to fix things and tired of old flooring and cabinets, etc., that are just too costly to replace. I'm single with no man to do these things for me and I can't afford a mortgage on a newer house in a good neighborhood. Some of the pictures I've seen of the mobile homes look really nice and modern on the inside.
Any advice and comments appreciated. Thanks!
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
I do live in Arkansas - my parents live up in Branson so I'm in Missouri quite often!
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Calling all you animal lovers - live and let live or intervene? - sm
I have a dilemma. I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about. At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food. This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed. I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him. Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him. Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously). I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety. I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care. At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment. Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold? I know there are lots of animal lovers out there. What does everyone think?? 
I'm a live-and-let-live person but had to draw the line
after I found HUGE holes in the walkway between my house and barn. I thought they were just little mice stealing grain, but then I spotted one and it was a HONKIN RAT! My poor olderly cat was out there with me at the time and saw it, and he hissed at it and ran away!
I asked for advice on what to do at a local agricultural board, because I have other animals and didn't want to use poison and conventional traps weren't working. They advised putting a large pale of water out with some seeds floating in it, figuring the rats would go for the seeds and end up drowning. That was a no-go because the water just froze up solid. I wound up reluctantly going with Decon because I just can't have my house destroyed. I haven't had seen any more rats or evidence of them stealing grain, so I'm guessing they have died. The guy at the grain store promised me the rats would not die in the building and stink the joint up, rather they would crawl off and die outside. I don't know if I believe that, as it is still winter here and decomposition would be holding off until it warms up. We'll see, but at least the destruction has been halted.
Good luck and I too say have no mercy, because you just don't need them destroying hour house or causing a spark chewing wires and burnin' the place down. It is war!
 (How un-PC is this emoticon?!)
Daniel had a home, a very good home...
with someone in my family at one point.
She met her late husband at a club down the freeway from me. It's not a fancy place, like you say.
She does have a real brother though. That was the connection on our part.
I agree, though. It is sad that all this is coming out the way it is. I believe she was a good person...she just had a lot of problems, mainly drugs. What is really sad is that all of this is going to be seen by her daughter one day when she grows up.
Make them live outside? This is so funny! Ours live outside, where they WANT to be. sm
Not all dogs want to be in "indoor" dogs, mind you. They have plenty of space to run around and play, fenced, and if they are brought in during bad weather they whine at the back door to go back out! So before you comment on outside dogs, you really need to get your facts straight. Seriously. Not all dogs are made or want to be inside all of the time.
Home Alone 1, A Christmas Story, Home for the Holidays, Chevy Chase's Christmas, sm
There "The Gift of the Magi," He sells his gold watch to buy her a comb for her hair and she sells her beautiful long hair to buy him a chain for his gold watch. It used to be on "Short Stories by O'Henry" but that's long gone, long ago. Good moral to the story. I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life" -- too depressing, especially with banks closing, too intimidating right now!!!
Home sweet home.
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Home, Home, On The Range SM
where the beer and the cantaloupe play . . . where seldom is heard . . . .
What happens at home stays at home. (nm)
:op
She is home, by that I mean she is 1 mile from her home.
I am the one that moved away. My brother lives there, but she requires 24-hour nursing care right now, and he is unable to provide that for her. My son is graduating high school this year and I plan to move back to take care of her, but I just can't until then. I did tell the adminstrator that they have 24 hours to figure this out, and then we will bring in the police. I have also threatened to go to the media, and this facility has a very excellent reputation and is run by the Brethren Church, so I would think they might not want bad publicity. It is a pretty small town and this is one of only a couple of care homes in the area.
Where do you live?? I live in Atlanta
and have been to the symphony here and definitely no hats- you can never go wrong with black dress/slacks. I like to dress a little more for this but the rules are definitely not prim and proper here.
I come from the old school, but live and let live - sm
Well, I tried "cohabitating" with a boyfriend when I was 22. We dated for a year, and 3 weeks after we moved in together, he went back to his ex-wife. Never again. I've been married 18 years now to the same guy. Guess I lucked out.
I don't think it's right to do in a biblical sense (even felt that way when I moved in with a guy but my young hormones took over my common sense) but it's sad more people aren't married, they choose to just live together without a great commitment. Then again, as my atty (he lives at the end of our street so I see him often when walking the dogs) always says, his father told him it should be $5,000 for a marriage license and free to get divorced.
As far as the children are concerned, well, I think you should be married before you have children but again, live and let live. I just don't like seeing children have to grow up without the other parent if it can be helped.
The NFL network recently interviewed a former NFL player, Warren Sapp. He was asked why we have so many jerks in the NFL like Terrell Owens, Adam Pacman Jones, etc. He said they all shared a common factor - no father or father figure in their lives growing up. He said to look at players who are humble and don't cause trouble - they are the product of a 2 parent household. It's sad to me because it's commonplace now, not the exception to rule, which I think it should be. I graduated high school in 1985 and even back then, a girl in school who got pregnant got sent away "to live with her aunt for a little while". It was a shame to be pregnant and unmarried but it's a sign of the times.
I sometimes wish I could have grown up in the 50s instead of 70s. :-)
Friends of Our's..
are separating and might end up divorced uggg.
They are the couple that we went on our summer vacation with. They have no kids luckily.
SHE is unhappy and has been since June I guess. He has been talking to hubby about it all on MSN Messenger and asking for advice. It has to do with her Religion, she goes to the church where they meet in homes and she wears skirts. I can't think of what she calls it but he isn't into that Religion and refuses to go to church with her and that is causing problems.
Anyway, she won't be happy unless she finds a guy in her church, that way, they will go together, ya know?
I feel bad for them but it might be for the best I don't know.
DH saw it with friends and they all
loved it. He reports it is very good and very gory. Critics hated it, but it is raking in the money because fans love it. It is more of a guy movie, but that doesn't mean a lot of us gals won't like it too. DH and his friends all researched the subject before going, they were that excited.
ooh, I never said he and I were friends...
I tried being *friends* with him for about 8-9 years after but he was never my friend (nor his own friend) - but with passive-aggressives - if they don't want to change, forget about them *cooperating* - WE EVEN DID THERAPY prior to the divorce but it was evident to the therapist that he was lying and playing games.....power tripping games too.
No, what I meant is he is in a better place today in HIS life, kids are doing their thing and communicating with both parents, and my life is great because I'm FREE....for me, it's all about freedom and having nobody trying to *control* me.
Good luck in your choices, they are not easy choices by any stretch of the imagination....
Where are her friends?
This young woman is in pain and is hurting. She needs help. Where are her friends? Instead of demonizing her, her mother, K-Fed, father - is he in the picture - former pastor, someone should be with her and get her to go into intensive private therapy. The girl is melting down in front of the world and no one is trying to help her.
I don't condone illegal drug use or misuse of legal drugs, but I really don't care if her problems were caused by drugs or something else. She is a human being in pain and needs help, not ridicule or judgment.
Where are Nicole, Paris, Lindsay, all the blondettes were ready to party with her in order to get their own picture in the tabloids? Where are the publicity agents, talent agents, etc., who made thousands of dollars off Britney's career? Someone needs to step up to the plate for her.
I should add that Pam and I were friends (sm)
not just in Bunco but had gone many places together, spent lots of time at each other's homes, had our children play together, etc.
best friends?
How many of you have bonded with a person...ala best friend...out of your immediate family?...to the point where you trust this person more so than a family member?
I have friends..not close...I'm close to only my sister...
I know one acquaintance that spends all her time with her best friend...I mean they have morning coffee together..take family trips..am and pm visits...I don't know that I could be that close to someone without it bugging me abit even though she was a good friend...
Confusing maybe..just thought I'd throw it out there..its a thought I had...
If they are your friends
Then they will take your feelings into consideration also. If you don't want to hang out, you don't want to hang out, no harm in that.
that's what my guy friends said!
and then nicely they of course told me that's why I wouldn't be allowed to live there.
haha
that's what my guy friends said!
and then nicely they of course told me that's why I wouldn't be chosen to live there.
haha
yes he does and he says his friends liked it
because he thinks his teeth look like hers now. It's my issue not his, thank goodness!!!
I guess it's because his teeth don't cascade naturally. He did have a palatial expander, which may have something to do with it.
Friends....sm
I have 3 friends who have been wonderful over the years. One I have known nearly my whole life, one for almost 20 years and the other for about 10 years. Then I have my sister and 2 female cousins who are absolutely 3 of my most favorite people in the entire world. I am truly blessed.
friends
My sister is still very good friends with her best friend from high school and it is cool to see them get so old. I am the older sister and in my head they were goofy, skinny teenagers, and now they have all these kids and it is amazing. Me and my best friend in high school did not last past me having a baby. She never married and I guess she felt like we did not have anything to talk about anymore.
Friends
I've run into quite a few of these type of individuals through the years. Oftentimes, it turned out to be a family member of the boss, owner, etc., or someone who got the job through a friend, OR someone who just happens to look good. It seems that experience and talent/ability are not the qualities that get the job nowadays.
I agree for friends
I have a very good friend who lives across the street and she's welcome to come over whenever she wants. We usually just knock and go right in. I do look out the window though if the doorbell rings and I usually don't answer it if it's someone I don't know.
My kids all believe, even though some of their friends say otherwise.
It probably helps that they are "free thinkers." They have their own thoughts and opinions and aren't usually swayed by others. Also, one of them is pretty popular in his school and very much a leader there, so many of the kids believe what he has to say over a lot of the other kids, even about Santa!
I think I've gone out of my way to teach my kids not to follow others' belief patterns just for the sake of being like everyone else. They really don't care much if they stand out, and it's actually worked to their advantage. They are often looked up to because they're strong enough to be different. :)
By the way, they feel sorry for the kids who don't believe in Santa.
did you accept it and are you friends?
mk
Well, she can't just not let her child have friends over! (sm)
That's just not realistic. So the whole family should just hide in their house because of her husband's issues? I have to disagree with that.
tell us about your furry friends.
We would love to hear!
No famous HS friends, but...
my FIL worked as a security guard for several Elvis Presley's Memphis events. He was a sheriff department reserve officer and they were chosen regularly for Elvis' appearances.
My former step-mother owned a night club in Port Arthur, Texas, where Janis Joplin and her band played regularly...before she was famous.
My parents assembled the dryers/heaters that cleaned up the radiation spilled at the Three Mile Island accident in the seventies.
oh, he realizes he does it, and he does not do that to his friends, right?
nm
One of my very best friends had this done and is so very happy she did.
She had a really horrible time before the ablation, including chronic anemia. (Her hemoglobin had fallen to 5.4 at one point!)
She had this done last year and says it's the best decision she ever made. The procedure wasn't bad, recovery was quick, and she's had no problems, and no periods, since then.
Losing friends
When I lost my first one (my cat BB) I tried to keep him hanging on as long as possible but when I talked to him about it he let me know he wanted me to let him go and I held him when I took him to the vet and he purred the whole time. He knew he didn't have to suffer any more. The really hard stuff only lasts for 3 days, then you feel better every day. It's lots easier after you get the ashes back, you feel like they're home. On my hearth I have 4 late cats, 1 late husband, 1 late brother-in-law and my late mother. I never really feel like they're gone. I feel for you, hang in there.
Family and friends
Thanks for understanding. I agree. I have found that family is not necessarily blood. They say blood is thicker than water? I say blood could equal dysfunction. The real family we have are those we choose ourselves and who love us in return. Your peaceful Christmas with you husband and your friends sound like what Christmas is all about, not the other stuff. Thanks for reminding me Christmas can be peaceful and warm.
This is why I have mostly male friends.
I really hope you don't take too much into the mean ones and listen to the positive input.
Walk a mile in someone else's moccasins, people...
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