IQ does not equal happiness
Posted By: sky on 2008-11-11
In Reply to: How can a substance.......sm - abc
I've known other brilliant people who indulged in self-destruction. There have been studies that suggest the smarter you are the less happy you are, and there may be some truth in it.
The first reason for this would be people with attitudes like yours, abc. They hold smart people to the highest standards. They don't allow a genius to be human, but they do have weaknesses. Imagine spending your whole life hearing "If you're so smart how could you, why haven't you....". There is enormous pressure put upon them by others to do something great, to perform mental tricks for the amusement of others, to "prove how smart they are". Some become as insecure about it as beauty queens do about their looks - I remember when I was married to my genius, we watched a show about a child prodigy who could play great compositions at the age of 4. This show upset my ex, I could see it made him jealous and insecure, and nervous that he was not as great as everyone assumed him to be. Just like there's always someone richer, thinner, and better looking, there's always someone smarter too.
Another reason would be lonliness. The smarter you are, the less you have in common with the majority of the population. The things that interest you most people can't even understand. I think one purpose Mensa was created was so that they could find people to talk to on their own level. The pitfall there is most of them are so specialized in their own areas of interest they still don't have anything in common - the gifted musician does not want to discuss quantum theories with the scientist, they can understand it, they just aren't interested in it.
In my ex's case, his substance abuse has three factors - First, he's physically handicapped, and his health has always been a problem. He self medicates with substances to escape the misery of being in his body. Second, he's a classic nerd who never had any friends or a social life. He started abusing substances to try to be one of the cool partying folk, to fit in. All of his current friends abuse substances, but he at least has some friends now, that's how he sees it. Third, the pressure to perform has caused him to give up. He was a computer guru before computers were cool. Once computers were mainstreamed to the general populace, and new software was coming out on a daily basis, he could no longer know "it all". When he reached that crossroads, he panicked, gave up and dove into the bottle to hide from his insecurities.
A high IQ is often just as much a curse as a blessing. I am assuming the reason to abuse substance is pretty universal - the desire to escape reality for a while, then it becomes a habit. If a person doesn't have the courage to deal with reality and change their life, they may choose to destroy it instead.
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We are all equal. You are no better than anyone else, and no one else is any better than you.
x
Army does not always equal
Though I completely understand where you're coming from. Hear her out about the complete plan of what she wants to do. She could go as non-combat, right? Be proud of her for making such a mature decision.
Equal treatment
I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced as a girl until I was 12. My mother's reason was that I was too young to take care of them. Since boys mature slower than girls, I think 13 is perfectly reasonable. Also I don't know your son's interests but make sure he understands that some sports will require him to take it out to play.
I disagree, more expensive does not always equal better
quality. Especially when it comes to cosmetics.
Instead of buying expensive creams containing cucumber extract, just put a cucumber on your face! Works equally
and even better!
Intelligence and happiness....sm
Intelligence should ENABLE you to lead a happy life ND solve your problems.
Intelligence does not guarantee happiness.
Well, any healthy relationship should be close to equal
My husband works FT and still helps out a lot around the house. I only work PT, so I usually do the cooking, helping our daughter with homework and most of the cleaning. My husband always cleans the kitchen after I cook (and vice versa) though and he cleans the bathrooms. We also alternate doing the laundry. So, I'd say everything evens out to be pretty close to 50/50 in our relationship. We are truly best friends and we treat each other as such, and I would never dream of "serving" my man - that's just a ridiculous statement! I even had that part taken out of our wedding vows! If it becomes a problem where you feel like you're being taken advantage of, then you need to sit down with your husband and let him know that he needs to pull his own weight or you won't be happy. Good luck!
I got it! Tell him 1 more kid will equal a lot more child support after the divorce : )
x
To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction
It won't be making any difference. I tried a couple of techniques for my adults and very soon I came to realize they found the antidotes for them. If there are 10 sites telling how to monitor your kids, there are 1000 more telling how to escape it. Down the road you will be pushing your kids to visit those sites (full of porn banners & adult materials) and nothing else.
pleasure versus happiness
Pleasure pertains to the senses. For instance, it is pleasurable to eat something you like. Happiness is a state of being which may or may not involve the senses, as in desires fulfilled. For example, it was a pleasure to eat the chocolate cake. I'd be happy if I could have the pleasure of doing it every day.
My days are filled with happiness
and not anger. I get out of the house and I unfortunately do not have any roses to smell right now. May be I will buy some. I do lead a pleasant life, and again I am not confused. Again, have a nice day. Over and out.
If you truly "love" someone, do you give up your own happiness for them?
I know this is where compromise comes in, but say like, if you are in a relationship and your personalities clash... but you love each other... one of you likes to be social and the other wants to stay home and doesn't want to have friends... how do you deal with this? Because if you compromise doesn't it feel like you are just forcing the other person to do what they dont want to do...?
My secret to happiness what something my grandma
told me.
My grandparents were opposites. I asked her on their 50th wedding anniversary how they had been able to stay together so long. She told me this:
You can sacrifice things in your life for the person you love and vice versa. But, if the person loves you and is worth loving, they will not require it of you.
As an equal partner in this marriage, why is it wrong for me to express my wants? (sm)
You seem to imply that because he wants to live here, I have to whether I like it or not. I have lived here for over 10 years. Why is it wrong for me to want what I want, but okay for him to impose his wants on me?
My days are filled with happiness, not anger
and do not dwell on things that happened 13 years ago like some. We were on here talking about 1 thing and when you interject like you did, then the whole subject opened up again. I am sorta you are a confused person. Take a break- get out of the house, smell the roses, lead a pleasant life.
It's not healthy to base your happiness on another person
I'm not trying to be mean or judge, but I just don't understand why women do this. You should never be this "into" a guy, it's just not healthy. You really need to get into counseling or try to fill that void in your life with church/God/Christianity, anything that makes you happy. Find out what makes you happy (in a healthy way) and pursue that. I've been married 10 years to a wonderful man who is honestly my best friend and I would be very sad if our relationship ended, but I wouldn't be devastated and I know that I'm a strong enough woman that I would get through it just fine. To honestly have a healthy relationship, you should be completely happy and whole on your own and you shouldn't need another person to make you feel happy. I pray that you find whatever it is that you're seeking, but trust me, you'll never find it through another person.
That's what this board is for, to share gripes and happiness sm
and whatever else is bothering us. it's nice to see that there are other people out there that bored just like me. there are a lot of pros about working at home, but i have to say, i miss being around people, leaving work at work instead of it staring me in the face all the time. i have two young kids who are in school and they are my main reason for working at home. i want to be there for them when they need me instead of growing up in a daycare.
you're very rude. maybe you need to get out the house a while.
Happiness is a heart thing; pleasure is a head thing.nm
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