IMO depends on age of people. If youngish, agree with big deal.
Posted By: Over 50, like myself, ahh, no. on 2007-04-18
In Reply to: going from live in bf/gf to marriage questions.......sm - having a bad day...
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This IS the absolute best way to deal with difficult people.
Unfortunately, this is the way that I have to deal with my own mother. I never tell her anything, or she broadcasts it to the world, twists information, gossips and criticizes. After about 40 years of it, I finally just stopped giving her any information about what goes on in my life, except for the very basic, surface type things. Ironically, my aunt advised me to do this, and said that most of the family has to do the very same thing!
How do you deal with people who always return gifts or sm
They do not take proper care of them. I have bought several expensive things (which they chose and they chose the best!). I later find out they have either sold it or gotten rid of the expensive item(s). I can picture the payment book(s) lying on my desk, sometimes a thousand dollars or more. I can't write them completely off my list as it would hurt the kids. I work so hard that I picture everything in terms of lines I killed myself for. Does anyone else have this problem? I have been so hurt as the latest item they are "junking" should have been an heirloom. No more! Please don't lecture me on a gift is a gift, I've heard that one before. I call it complete disrespect.Am I alone here or how do you handle such ingrates?
Life is too short to deal with nasty people. See mom alone when you
v
Dear Irritating People I Have Been Forced to Deal With:
1. I do not go to (insert activity/location here) to see your children run/scream/cry/break things. They may be your "angels" but I am thinking of another word. Please teach them how to behave in public places.
2. You may live in my neighborhood, but you do not own it. I have a right to privacy/quiet/sleep. Just because you do not have to work/go to school/pay bills does not mean that my family and I do not, so please learn how to turn it down/stop fighting with your significant other at 2 a.m./keep your children from screaming so loudly I can hear them from the other end of the block at 11 p.m. at night.
3. Yes your car is pretty. I am sure you spent a lot of money on it. This does not mean that when you rev your engine or squeal your tires that I am going to appreciate it, much less be impressed by it. I understand the male need to show off his vehicle once in a while, but must you do this EVERY time you go past my house, all 500 times a day? I thought most people had to have jobs to pay for a car like that. Shall we guess what you do for a living?
4. Lastly, for those who are the most annoying to deal with - the stupid people. By this I do not mean mentally challenged in any true form. This is aimed at all those who would like to think they are smart. Please do not try to lecture me/argue with me/or try to put me down using words you do not understand. The dictionary exists for a reason. I would even lend you mine if you asked for it.
Sincerely,
The person who secretly wishes to violently shake you while asking what the **** is wrong with you people!
I agree. What is the big deal, other
that exploiting yourself on TV wanting to be a man and then wanting to have a child. My brother calls them SHIMS. It's not a SHE and it's not a HIM. What is so hard to believe. The so-called man kept his female reproductive organs. . . end of story.
I agree with you..but would probably just deal with it & have them pitch in (sm)
As long as they are not planning to stay overnight I would probably just let them come and eat...I mean they are family...but maybe call him and tell him what you need his family to bring to help out with the meal? Give him a list of items to bring in a sweet, friendly voice.
Agree and disagree....all depends.
For the majority of the jobs out there, total waste of time unless it's just a stepping stone to get a higher degree and ya have to do it little by little because of time, cost, etc.
However, sometimes it's the experience employers want and they are happy with a GED so long as the job they want gets done and gets done the way they want it. One of our buds has a Bachelor's in computer somethin' or other and has been looking for work for well over a year now. Our other bud, who has real-life experience, is pulling $100,000 doing computer stuff and only has a high school diploma!
(Yep, always frosts our tuckases to hang out with him and have him brag about that fact too!  )
I agree, depends on face shape....I'm not overweight
but I have a fat face! lol
How does everyone deal with difficult, and I mean extremely difficult, people. sm
I'm not even talking about family members. Just people in general. Especially the ones who are so kind to your face but you know clearly don't like you one bit. I have a few of those in my life. UGH! And I'm so kind that it eats me up inside, but I won't dare say anything to their faces. I just come on public forums like this anonymously and vent my anger and frustration!!
I met with someone today who told me to "love them," and feed into them and show them that you are not this vile person they make you out to be. How do you do that? I'm learning that people, especially women, are just impossible to deal with. And I'm a woman!!!
Thank God there are people like you. I agree and would do the same.
.
I agree with you. Too many people..
want all the goodies now and when they are in too deep think they can just file bankruptcy and presto, all is right with their world again. I can fully understand filing because of a medical hardship, but too many people live well above their means, charge everything, never save or plan for tomorrow and then want you and I to pick up the slack because they are irresponsible with their finances. And yes, been there, done that, many, many years ago and learned my lesson, so don't bother telling me not to judge others.
yes, I agree, how do those people who have
a stone where the heart should be, dare to talk to people who are in misery caused by the FORMER ADMINISTRATION to talk like that?
That's not what the Bible says!
Completely agree! People should be
x
I agree but also the people had to be a little bit smarter and say...
I don't make near that, I can't afford that in the long run...they are also to blame...
Agree. IMO, the people who took the door sm
off the hinges should be charged with involuntary manslaughter. Hope the security cameras got a good shot of those SOBs. I read that other workers tried to help the poor trampled man and they also got hurt.
Think of how much business these stores would get if they offered such bargains for a longer period.
Greed is an evil thing.
I totally agree. All but one of the dozen or so people (sm)
that I know who had tubals later on developed horrible menstrual problems. Many ended up with a hysterectomy 10-15 years down the road.
I'm not sure the doctors recognize or admit a connection, and I admit my info is anecdotal, but it was enough for me to decide I didn't want to risk it.
i agree, if people didn't have sex outside of marriage, then
unless i'm wrong, but i don't think too many married woman are aborting babies who are fathered by their husbands. i think the overwhelming majority are babies that are the product of people married to each other
Have to agree. Most people know cost of that school and it is
xx
I agree. It is in some people's nature to use those words.
My supervisors at work call me sweetie because they are southern and that is how they speak. Does the teacher treat everyone like that and it is just not part of your speaking style, or is there something else that seems inappropriate about it?
I agree! I could puke to hear people defend that name.
xx
Totally agree! Lots of people under 21 drink anyway
so what is the point???? If they were to set a legal age, I think it should be 18.
I agree. People put problems or situations on this board to get - sm
advice from others on this board. There are many different types of advice given and that is generally what the poster is looking for. Those of us who have given our lives to the Lord, have found that it turned our lives around and given us great joy, as well as helped us through many times of hurt and fear. We like to share this with others, especially when they are seeking advice on how to get through their own fear. As Jan said, if you do not want to read this than don't. I did notice however that you did not offer any advice for the poster to help with her fears and anxieties. You just used it as an opportunity to slam those of us who are trying to help.
I sort of agree; in the past years people miscarried
all the time only didn't even know it because they didn't have the ability to find out they were pregnant after 2 weeks! It is sad but definitely does not compare to losing a living child from disease etc. JMO.
I agree. I could never understand why people bragged about the size of their refund.
It just means they let the government accrue interest on their money throughout the year. I aim for less than $100 difference between what I owe and what I pay in every year. Yes, my refund is smaller, but I would rather put that money into savings or my retirement fund on a monthly basis than let Uncle Sam "hold it for me" all year long.
Big deal....
Let her call your home and wish him a happy birthday. Is she hurting anyone. There are children starving to death in other countries and women being raped and killed and you have a nice warm house and beautiful children. Just let her be and let things happen as they will. We are not in control of things to begin with.
I would much rather deal with this
So they pass gas or burp. Big flippin' deal! Better than drugs, guns, and the like that pass through the doors of a school! Cut me a break... You people are outta control here. Parents allowing it? So what if they do? They can teach manners, but let's face it, kids will be kids, and sometimes it happens. That is just plain crazy to think that because your child farts in class that makes him the next serial killer! Paaaleeezzze!
So what? What's the big deal? You act like they want to
X
If you don't know what the big deal is....
This is a long read but worth it........
A National ID Bill Masquerading as Immigration Reform
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD
by Rep. Ron Paul, MD
Watch Ron Paul deliver this speech to the House of Representatives on video.
Before the US House of Representatives, February 9, 2005
Mr. Speaker:
I rise in strong opposition to HR 418, the REAL ID Act. This bill purports to make us safer from terrorists who may sneak into the United States, and from other illegal immigrants. While I agree that these issues are of vital importance, this bill will do very little to make us more secure. It will not address our real vulnerabilities. It will, however, make us much less free. In reality, this bill is a Trojan horse. It pretends to offer desperately needed border control in order to stampede Americans into sacrificing what is uniquely American: our constitutionally protected liberty.
What is wrong with this bill?
The REAL ID Act establishes a national ID card by mandating that states include certain minimum identification standards on driver's licenses. It contains no limits on the government's power to impose additional standards. Indeed, it gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to unilaterally add requirements as he sees fit.
Supporters claim it is not a national ID because it is voluntary. However, any state that opts out will automatically make non-persons out of its citizens. The citizens of that state will be unable to have any dealings with the federal government because their ID will not be accepted. They will not be able to fly or to take a train. In essence, in the eyes of the federal government they will cease to exist. It is absurd to call this voluntary.
Republican Party talking points on this bill, which claim that this is not a national ID card, nevertheless endorse the idea that "the federal government should set standards for the issuance of birth certificates and sources of identification such as driver's licenses." So they admit that they want a national ID but at the same time pretend that this is not a national ID.
This bill establishes a massive, centrally-coordinated database of highly personal information about American citizens: at a minimum their name, date of birth, place of residence, Social Security number, and physical and possibly other characteristics. What is even more disturbing is that, by mandating that states participate in the "Drivers License Agreement," this bill creates a massive database of sensitive information on American citizens that will be shared with Canada and Mexico!
This bill could have a chilling effect on the exercise of our constitutionally guaranteed rights. It re-defines "terrorism" in broad new terms that could well include members of firearms rights and anti-abortion groups, or other such groups as determined by whoever is in power at the time. There are no prohibitions against including such information in the database as information about a person's exercise of First Amendment rights or about a person's appearance on a registry of firearms owners.
This legislation gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland Security to expand required information on driver's licenses, potentially including such biometric information as retina scans, finger prints, DNA information, and even Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) radio tracking technology. Including such technology as RFID would mean that the federal government, as well as the governments of Canada and Mexico, would know where Americans are at all times of the day and night.
There are no limits on what happens to the database of sensitive information on Americans once it leaves the United States for Canada and Mexico – or perhaps other countries. Who is to stop a corrupt foreign government official from selling or giving this information to human traffickers or even terrorists? Will this uncertainty make us feel safer?
What will all of this mean for us? When this new program is implemented, every time we are required to show our driver's license we will, in fact, be showing a national identification card. We will be handing over a card that includes our personal and likely biometric information, information which is connected to a national and international database.
H.R. 418 does nothing to solve the growing threat to national security posed by people who are already in the U.S. illegally. Instead, H.R. 418 states what we already know: that certain people here illegally are "deportable." But it does nothing to mandate deportation.
Although Congress funded an additional 2,000 border guards last year, the administration has announced that it will only ask for an additional 210 guards. Why are we not pursuing these avenues as a way of safeguarding our country? Why are we punishing Americans by taking away their freedoms instead of making life more difficult for those who would enter our country illegally?
H.R. 418 does what legislation restricting firearm ownership does. It punishes law-abiding citizens. Criminals will ignore it. H.R. 418 offers us a false sense of greater security at the cost of taking a gigantic step toward making America a police state.
I urge my colleagues to vote "NO" on the REAL ID Act of 2005.
February 12, 2005
Dr. Ron Paul is a Republican member of Congress from Texas.
Anyone else had to deal with this?
My mother has suffered from arthritis for years. She just turned 80 in May of this year. She's told me during the past week that her legs have gotten increasingly more painful - to the point that she can hardly walk to get to the bathroom. Today, she said if her legs aren't better the next time she goes to the doctor, she's planning to talk to him about going in a nursing home. I am really distressed about this - realistically, I've known the day was coming, since her home is not amenable to her being in a wheelchair full-time. I live 1200 miles away from her in a second floor apartment, so even if she wanted to come stay with me, that's not possible considering my current living situation. In my head, I know this may be the best solution, and that I probably couldn't change things even if I lived closer, but my heart is hurting!
This is the deal...
She and he lived in Minneapolis and me way down here. I BEGGED her not to marry him, BEGGED her, and she didn't listen. She is extremely, extremely intelligent and NEVER listens to what I say. Even her little bro, who is 16, tells her, "You should just listen to Mom, she may be a b**** but she knows what she is talking about." She is SO smart she got a 4-year full scholarship at a University in New Orleans, so now she's down here with me and he has less control, which is making him more psycho, but "sometimes" he's nice. "Sometimes he acts like he loves me." The only good thing is that she didn't get pregnant. Oooh, I am just livid. I can hardly type and I have to sit here and work for 8 hours.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
Dogs and cats can be criminal like that...torturing small animals just for fun.
Gross dogs though, let me tell you about gross. A friend was in bed, watching TV and having some tea and toast before taking a snooze with her dog, a Malamute, who also shares her bed. This lady was eating her toast while watching tv, not really paying attention. She thought she dropped a small piece of toast on the blanket, picked it up, and popped it in her mouth. Turned out to be a small chunklet of cat turd covered in litter, accidentally dropped there courtesy of you-know-who.
Yep, her dog, like mine, loves to sneak "kitty krunchies" out of the box and snack on them when no one's lookin'.
no big deal!
I think I would probably have a heart attack if I were ever bitten by a snake.. My dentist bought an old house that was inhabited by snakes. . he shot some, carried some out using sticks, played loud music and finally, after a couple of years, has managed to take over the house. . he has way more patience and courage than I would have.
What is the big deal??? They had to have
gas and he said he would put in 10. He did. When he gets gas for his car is his business. If he wants to stop every day for gas, how does that affect her??? If they fight over little things like that, doesn't sound like a good marriage to me.
I know I should not have to deal with this...sm
But see my mother refuses to talk to him. She doesn't take his calls. She will call the police if he comes on her property so she doesn't have to deal with him. I no longer answer his calls either. I don't answer my door if he knocks. But he will literally wait for you to go somewhere outside like he knows I have to leave an 2:45 to go get my son for school and that is his opportunity. It is can I use your phone? Can I have a bite to eat. Then its crying. When my husband is home he does not do this. He does not come over to my house at all. My husband is a truckdriver so he is away a lot. My mother has got on his a** multiple times for bothering me and my sister. She has went off on him. He doesn't pay any attention. She has went to the sheriff. My best friend's husband is a deputy. I have talked to him. As long as he is on his property and hasn't done anything they can't do anything. All I can do is move. Pure and simple.
to deal with her.
nm
Here's the deal
Ok, we'll start at first cousin, since everyone knows that.
Your kids and your cousin's kids are second cousins.
Your grandkids and your cousin's grandkids are third cousins.
The "removed" part comes into play anytime you're talking about different generations.
For example, you and your cousin's kids are first cousins, once removed.
Your children and your cousin's grandchildren would be second cousins, once removed.
Here's the deal..........
I did that for years. I was working all day and STILL felt because I was at home, I should be washing dishes, putting in a load of laundry, whatever needed to be done, but knew I had to work my shift as well or even my prn work....all the while the children were growing up.
Even my childeren got to where they thought if they needed something (not an emergency) or just wanted to interrupt, they could just feel free to do so... after all, if I didn't make my work a priority in my own head, why should they? Even my mother would call and say something like, "You still on that computer"?, as if what I did wasn't important.
I finally stopped all that nonsense. They got off to school, I sat down at the same time everyday (just as if I were in an office), no phone answering, no door answering. Even my husband would call asking me to look up something in a file for him as if I were his secretary (stopped that too!). You should have seen the look on their faces when they realized I was NOT going to have whatever piece of clothing they wanted washed that day, they would eat what I had time to fix and be glad they had it (no all day meal cooking). The door to the room was shut and unless there was an emergency, it was to stay shut until I came out.
I had already told my mother I wouldn't be answering the phone but if there was an emergency, I would always be screening the messages; otherwise, her chit chat time was on hold until my day was over and I had finished with what I had to do for the day. That woman would then actually get in her car and come across town to knock on my door, saying since I wasn't answering the phone, she would just come over, as if that was okay!! She just doesn't get it at all!! I'm at home, so I must not be actually working. The next time she done that, I didn't go to the door. She stood and knocked, rang the doorbell, even went around the house to the back door seeing if it were open. I didn't go to the door, she went back home, rang the phone off the wall several times that afternoon and when I called her back that night, she wanted to know why I didn't come to the door. She had called my husband at work to ask him why I didn't answer the phone or the door. he told her I had work to do and couldn't get it done jumping up and down all day long. He was finally getting it. He told her if I were in an office somewhere, I couldn't be sitting on the phone for personal calls, doing laundry, washing the clothes, or running an errand, and she STILL said she just needed to tell me something..... like it couldn't wait until later.
Sometime, you just gotta do what you gotta do. If you stop obsessing about what housework there is around and remind yourself you have a job to do, all the other stuff will get done AFTER your job is finished, not during, you will start feeling better about everything.
If you were outside the home in an office would you be doing any of that stuff? Trust me, it can and will wait. You will be more productive as well. Just stick to it.
My sister in law knows I'm swamped with work and she still calls in the middle of the day wanting to chit chat (she doesn't work and has PLENTY of money) about anything and everything, and when I don't answer the phone, she calls her brother (hubby) at work and wonders if there's something wrong, since I'm not answering the phone. Geeeze!
This is sooooooooooooo not a big deal!
I'd say just get over it and stop being so sensitive.
How do you deal with fatigue?
Do any of you suffer from fatigue? I mean being so tired, no matter how much sleep, you could just hit the floor and go into a coma? I thought it was the Lexapro I was on for about 6 months so I discontinued that. While there was a teensy bit of improvement (and that was well over a year ago I stopped it), the fatigue is back in full force. It is a year-round problem for me, certainly moreso during winter, but it is at its worst when I sit down to the computer.
Do you have any suggestions as far as if it could be something to do with my work space? It's clean and bright, almost always has a nice Yankee candle burning, and my chair is a typical task chair with no arm rests and I try to sit as upright as I comfortably can. My keyboard is a regular style, nothing fancy, but nothing hurts. Monitor is a flat panel LCD. I stay away from sodapop and only have 1 cup of coffee daily, otherwise it's water w/Crystal light, and I'm not taking anything for pills except a daily vitamin.
I'd certainly appreciate any tips or suggestions you might have. Thanks for taking the time to read this! 
So go over and have pizza..what's the big deal?
Not like she asked you to plan it or have it at your place and cook a meal. Maybe I'm not understanding.
And much easier to deal with
///
Also make a big deal
of the fact that he wears "big boy" underwear and that your toddler will get to do that too when he is big enough and potty trained. Apparently that worked wonders with me and my sisters.
I honestly don't see why this is a big deal
This is information which is already on file with the government. Every American citizen should have copies of all of this information.
When you hear something like this, always go to snopes.com and check it out. See the link below.
Don't worry about it. There is no deal.
The house doesn't meet your standards or needs, and you aren't interested.
Realtors are supposed to work for you. If you want to buy a house, she should be finding out what you want and bringing papers on homes to you for your consideration. Don't even think you have wasted her time at this point!
I had my Realtor show me every house in my price range in all of the north side of this town. She was great.
I have the same deal though mine are 7 and 9- sm
so in a few years it will get interesting, especially since the 7-y/o gets all the hand-me-downs (though right now she does not mind at all). She likes to help pick things out for her older sister because she knows in a year or so it will be hers (and still be in good shape too). I had to go and get the older one new pants, etc. for school and the younger one felt quite left out. I did let her pick out 1 thing (a dress she liked) and got her that; got everything on clearance/sale and walked out with a lot for $140. But for anything extra they want I make them earn the money and buy it themselves. They just pooled their saved money and bought a Wii, they also know even though they paid for it I control the play time on it (plus I am the rental agent on the games at the video store). Never too early to start teaching them to work for what they want.
Good deal...
I'm glad you talked to her and she at least seemed to be receptive. You certainly know her better than we do!!!
She's still a minor and it is your job to protect her whether she likes it or not. Hopefully she'll at least pick better boyfriends!!!
Maybe you and your mom could work out a deal - sm
where either she comes to visit YOU, (without the step-dad), or else she can arrange to have him out of the house, on a trip, etc. when you go to see her. Be honest and tell her that although you love her, and you know she loves the stepdad, that you and the kids are keenly aware that he doesn't like them, and it would be better for all concerned if they didn't have to have contact with each other. Then everyone could be happy, and there'd be no confrontations between the adults, and no emotional scars on the kids from his dislike of them.
Having the pain is usually no big deal,
lots of women have this and something excellent to take for this is Vitamin E- learned from a nurse, works almost immediately. I have suffered from that myself for years. I had breast biopsy (I located a big lump really right below the axilla, turned out benign). Of course it is usually scary but most of the biopsies, etc. turn out to be negative.
You have a lot to deal with here. I suggest (SM)
you take 1 issue at a time. You have a good list started...prioritize based on safety and legal issues. Re the will, POA, etc., download some forms from the internet or buy some...they are widely available. Fill out one of them as a draft, leaving blanks where he needs to give input. Then take it to him, go over it with him, and ask what he wants in the blanks. Then compile a final for him to sign and take him to have it notarized, if needed. Then move on to the next thing on the list. I wouldn't make a big deal out of anything, just make dealing with one thing part of your regular routine when you visit him.
Re the house, spend some time making a safe, clean space in it for him to live his daily life...kitchen, one bathroom, to start. Get and install any grab bars or other equipment he might need. Get him a medical alert necklace for his birthday. I found one at WalMart that doesn't require a monitoring service...it dials 9-1-1 in an emergency.
This is just a start, but that is what you need to do, just start. I hope some of these suggestions are useful.
I know a fella who got a deal like you
The house cost him less than $300, the city sold for a fixer upper also. Bad section of town and endless money pit. I started out with less and eventually moved to more.
mascara deal for $125
Lots of earlier posts regarding the high cost of cosmetics. I got an ad from Ulta - use the coupons sometimes. The shocker for me was the $125 mascara. In this economy, is anyone really buying this? I think these companies selling this junk are going to have to get real. The way things are going I have to work 20 hours to make $125. Any chance I'm going to blow it on mascara?
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