I yelled at daughter when she was growing up. I'm not
Posted By: proud of it. Luckily, she turned out fine. on 2009-03-19
In Reply to: Do you yell at your kids/spouse? - GabbyChick
xx
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Sorry, advice before i get yelled at.
LOL
so I yelled *shut up, mean mom!*
Today, I snapped. There was this community party sort of deal today for thousands of kids in our city. I was waiting for the crosswalk west to return to my car with my child. There was another mother waiting for the crosswalk north with her poor kid. She was yelling and nagging and grumbling and complaining at this poor youngster, and I just snapped. "Shut up, mean mom!," I yelled (really loud) to her. Unbelievably, she took heed.
I guess my point is impatient parents. If you take on the responsibility of being a parent, then be a good one. She brought me to the boiling point because I have been hearing this everywhere I go -- mothers losing their tempers, usually 20-somethings who probably thought having a child would be fun. Don't they realize the damage words do to impressionable young minds, the fate of our future?
I never yelled until the teenage years hit, then
it was hard not to yell.
when I was growing up
our Monsingor of our church would yell at the parents during the middle of mass because babies were crying in church told them to leave! Guess he could not tolerate much.
Growing up, did you get along better with your mom or dad?
I got along waaaay better with my dad. My mom was a control freak.
But once I moved out on my own, I got along fine with both of them. 
I don't do well with controlling people. 
About the 50s, I was growing up then
and most of the women in my home were a) widowed, b) divorced or married and working, in fact all the women worked whether divorced, widowed or married. You were watching a TV show. The women in my life had power and responsibility and I never thought of them as being coddled, kept or irresponsible. I remember as a child when I would say my mother was divorced it was odd for other children (most mothers married then and most stay at home mothers). Kids would want to talk about how I felt as a child of divorce and I always said 1 less parent to say no to me. I have never nor has my husband called me stupid. Name calling is just not done here. My love is the most important thing in my life to me here on earth.
Me neither as my child growing up
things can really change in life.
reminds me of my dog when growing up
my dad did not like him being on the couch and he would jump off when he heard him walking towards the room. Another favorite was as my dad was coming down the stairs my dad could see him on the couch before entering the room as we had a mirror hanging on the wall...maybe our dog could see him too!
We always had dachshunds growing up...
and I have always felt that they are honorary big dogs!
I can remember growing up that my
sister went through a spell where she would only want to eat one thing. My mom called and talked to the pediatrician, and he told her not to worry about it. When she got hungry enough she would eat whatever was fixed.
When my daughter starts into her stubbon streak (which she inherited from both me and the ex) I just send her to her room and let her wait it out. Back in the day, our parents would probably swat us on our you-know-what and say get over it, but you know today that is abuse.
When I was growing up we had 3 channels but guess what?
I find it tremendously funny when yu0o say a trial shoved down your throat. I have cable and have, oh, over 100 channels. No show is ever shoved down my throats, we just, duh, change the channel or just DON’T watch!!!
I was so glad when mine growing up that
I always had much praise for others they visited/stayed with, in fact I had a problem between my mother and father (them being divorced) because they would be trying to keep a child longer than the other thought they should. I had phone calls saying - he has already had- she has kept him now and so on. Friends told me my kids when visiting sooo good- wondered how I did- the kids now are being brought up so much more different and this is what people can expect. I also know about the saying sparing the rod- right?
what I did growing up really is none of my kids' business.
Here and there I've volunteered information and shared stories that actually do lend validity to my opinions and the rules I have set for my kids. But I have to tell you that I was really a pretty good kid. I have maybe only one or two regrets, but I haven't shared those with my kids. And if they asked me about them, I'd lie and say nope, never did that.
All of this makes me think how lucky I was growing up.
My father was a wonderful man. He loved women. And by that I mean that he had the greatest respect for women. I was his only daughter, and I can't count how many times he told me that women were generally smarter, more capable and able to handle more than men. He was full of admiration for the women in his life. Long before Tom Cruise and "Jerry Maguire", my father used to say, "Men and women complete each other."
Because of my father's attitude, I grew up believing that I was special, and I'm sure it saved me from a lot of heartbreak and helped me to form health relationships with the men in my life.
The women in these polygamist situations are raised up to be this way. They just don't know any better. I believe they are brainwashed by these sick, despicable, poor excuses for men. I hope that they can get themselves and their children out of this situation. Unfortunately, it looks like many of them want to hold onto the only thing that they know.
She won't grow to fit her tank, she will just keep growing....
But eventually she has to stop growing some time. I really think she has probably grown as much as she is going to. If she has to go to a bigger tank yet, we may have to see if our local zoo will take her. The tanks are the biggest outlay. I get all her rocks free from our local monument maker and a quarry. I buy a bottle of the stuff to kill the chlorine and use our city water.
Cleaning her tank is not too bad as we have a gravel vacuum. We don't fill the tank all the way up, only about 2/3 full. They need at least the width of their shell for the depth of the water in case they flip over on their back. Otherwise they can't flip themselves over. We do a partial tank change. Just enough to suck up the "poop" and food scraps. Then we replace it.
Other than her lights burning out once in a while, she is pretty low mainatenance. And fun to watch. Especially when she chases the goldfish. LOL
There is a growing body of evidence
that circumcision is simply not worth the risks. Among clinical investigators, not just "kidhealth dot com."
If the risks of bleeding or infection are higher with circumcision as an adult, then for heaven's sake, don't do it then, either! Unless, obviously, there is a surgical indication for it.
I repeat: Having a foreskin is not a surgical indication.
We were told a lot of things growing up
such as wearing gloves to church but do you think people do that now? Did we show up in church years ago in pants (say the 60s, 70s), most did not but probably common now. Having said that I do not think by any means cursing only means you have a limited use of the English language. If anything I throw out words loads of time my husband asks me to "break it down for him" or "use English" and I am not talking cursing. If anything, another term for MTers are language specialists which I think applies to most who do this job. Next assumption.
I was bullied in school growing up
My mom contacted the bully's mom and the mom asked her daughter if he had been doing what I said. Her daughter said no and she said to my mom I believe my child.
What do you think of that lash growing medication?
I've seen the commercial but cannot remember the name of the med, but it's for growing lashes. It may cause (possibly) reversible eyelid darkening and permanent discoloration of the iris. Would people really want those potential risks and/or side effects? I mean, you're messing with your sight here. I've always had long lashes and find them a pain at times - they curl the wrong way and poke your eye and you have to pluck them (ouch), they catch on your glasses, etc. I can't help but feel that we'll find out 10 years down the road that med cause some kind of cancer.
Not unusual at all - my DH had one growing up and still talks about how smart it was! (nm)
.
My husband growing up lived on a farm where
his father raised black angus cattle. You cannot get a better cut of meat than that except for the extra expensive Koba (spelling?) maybe. He and his siblings told me,they got so tired of having steaks, etc. all the time and welcomed bologna instead. Now way past childhood, my husband loves a good bologna sandwich because years ago it was like a treat for the kids to get instead of the steaks all the time.
This reminds me of a lady I knew growing up...
She would eat almost the entire plate of food, and then find "something" in it and say she's not paying for it... the "something" happened to always be in the last bite...
It's called cheapskate not quirky... 
As far as putting breadsticks in my purse, I'd imagine the butter would go everywhere. Why not ask for a take out package instead?
Sugar packets - that's going a bit far......
I also knew of a man who would break off celery in the grocery store, throw it in the bottom of the cart, and then leave the store - he didn't want to pay for the entire thing and only needed one stalk or so... again, cheapskate.... the bad part about that is he handled it, put it back on the shelf, and someone is getting ripped off who buys that stalk...
Which reminds me, always pick from the back and bottom; that's the freshest produce!
There are times I would love to stop the growing process
but I look at that as denying my children the incredible happiesses I have experienced, such as college, marriage, children, etc. and that makes it a bit easier.
Any avid gardners with advice on growing great cantaloupes? sm
I seem to be able to grow everything but these. It seems something always gets them about 2 weeks before they are ready to harvest. I live in mid AL. What can I do to successfully grow one of these wonderful, yummy things? 
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
Yay for your daughter!
Glad to hear it!
My daughter did twice...sm
and everything did turn out okay. She was very concerned and upset of course but her doc was very positive with her, explaining that there are a lot of false-positives for some reason or another. Good luck to you and try not to worry. I know that is easier said than done though!
Yes, with my first daughter. sm
The test results were actually quite bad. I worked at a doctors office at the time and had the blood drawn there. When the results came in from the lab the four family docs I worked for called my OB and all five had a sit down, serious talk with me. I was extremely frightened, but knew I wouldnt do anything drastic if it was truely Downs. My daughter turned out 100% fine. No Downs. Nothing. With my next two daughters I skipped the test all together. I knew I would never terminate due to Downs, so I left it in Gods hands and skipped that part of testing. All three of mine are fine. That test has too many false results.
My daughter is trying to get me to try
Of course, she is a little thing, but she teaches at a high-stress school, and at the end of the day, she loves to go there. She has gained a lot of muscle which she likes and upper body strength, which she definitely needs. I need to give that a try.
I just went through this w/my daughter...
and yes what is attached is definitely alive. You need to get the small comb that comes with the lice kits and VERY THOROUGHLY comb through all the hair to get the remaining eggs out. If you leave even one egg it will hatch and start the process all over again. My daughter has long hair and I combed it daily, at least an hour at a time. After 10 days, use the lice shampoo again to be sure.
Get the same from my daughter-in-law
all the time, just delete them, just pro-war for nothing and not me.
My 12 YO daughter
I just had to brag about my 12 YO daughter. She and I moved into a new apartment a few months ago. A mentally retarded man, in his 50s, lives down the road. Most 12-13 YO kids won't be associated, or seen, with a retarded man....my daughter is different.
My daughter and I were outside playing catch last night when this man stopped over. She asked him to join us. He played with us for a couple of hours. She was patient, kind, compassionate and understanding.
I truly have an angel for a daughter.
P.S. On a side note, I did tell her I didn't want her to be with him when I wasn't around, etc....for safety reasons.
If that were my daughter.......
I would have marched up in that house and knocked him for a loop!!! I have three daughters and although they are still young I can't imagine anyone ever mistreating them!! As a mother, I can only imagine the heartache you feel for your child!! Thank God she is able to get out now b/c he sounds like a potentially violent person. If I were her, I would never look back and I would make his parents aware of his abusive and neglectful treatment even if they don't want to hear it!!!
My daughter has 1 and I
know she does not have this behavior out of hers- she has had hers for say about 2-3 years and he does little crazy things like snap at the air (nothing there), very loving pet.
daughter
My daughter works at a daycare and they are having an outbreak of hand, foot and mouth disease. Pretty contagious from what I gather. I'm not sure what kind of treatment, if any, is necessary. Unless she seems really ill, I think you can probably wait until tomorrow and call your pediatrician.
The daughter is 7. nm
!
what my daughter does
is 1) wait until they show readiness, 2) try to anticipate, and encourage a run to the potty,giggling all the way, and 3) makes it fun with lots of praise, and then when they are successful, she gives them 1 M&M. I know some will scream this is wrong to reward with food, but i doubt this will create big problems. My husband used to let the kids run around the house with no britches on and they were much more inclined to want to go to the potty -- but that really depends on their environment too...and personally, i don't think 2 is too soon for some kids, but it certainly is for others.
When my daughter was 13
she had her first period in August as well. (The day before school started....aahhhggg!) She did exactly what your daughter has done, nothing in Sept. and then every month since. She is now 14. Just a hint that you probably don't need, I keep a calender on my desk and put a "K" on it each month when she starts so I never have to wonder. Trust me, we all know in this house when it happens for her each month LOL!
daughter having sex
I understand where you are coming from to some degree. Kids nowadays are more worred about and active in sex than we were; however as a parent of a teenager and understanding that this can be an emotional time for you, I have to ask. Are you really this freaked out about her sex life because she is having sex, or because of who it is with? Yes, you may not like this guy but how long do you want her to stay with him? This hissy fit of yours will only cement her with him. Keeping quiet about him and making sure that your daughter realizes that BCPs are not enough protection for what is out there would be a really good place to start. I have discovered with my own kids that sometimes just letting them see people as they really are ends relationships that I disapprove a lot faster than nagging. None of us wants to realize that our children are growing up and making their own choices but they do and are. We have to hold on to the hope and knowledge that we raised them correctly. I think we all can say that we did things that we regret and that they were/are only made worse by over-reacting parents. BTW, that age old saying about if they want to have sex they will, really does apply and do you really want to lose your daughter over some guy?
I do have to agree also with the comment about you and your hubby raising a child...WHAT are you thinking? If you don't want her to "give up her life" because of a baby and she is on the pill, then I suggest you make sure that she is well aware of the other options. You will not be teaching her anything by allowing her have a baby and then raising it yourself. I know that I sat my child down and explained things in that we have "been there/done that."as well as the fact that we will not be paying child support for a child (I have two boys).
Yes, realizing that your "baby" is growing up is hard, but come on get a grip. She is 17 not 12 and you had to know this was coming especially if you have an older child. She is having sex, not as protected as you would want, not with someone you think is good enough, BUT she is not dead/ dying nor has she run away, right? There are way worse things out there to worry about then the fact that your daughter made a bad chose in who she wanted to have sex with. Help her with the proper protection, make sure the lines of communication are open and pray for her safety and your sanity!
Again, what really (other than your daughter)
gives you the right to insist?? I do not see where you have a leg to stand on. You are upset but not thinking things through- you only have control over your own self- not your daughter, not anyone in your family and really not this guy. I read your post yesterday and I understood when you talked about what you would like for him to do but insisting? He would have to be a wuss to go along with that and being as he has this criminal history behind him, does not sound like he would be pushed into much of anything. Why don’t you get some advice from a lawyer before letting anyone else know about the information you have gotten. Probably a good idea.
daughter
Good luck to you! As a mother of 4 I totally understand why you did this as I would probably do the same. I in a way understand why they consider this a weapon because if she ever got in a fight and decided to use it etc. I am sure your daughter is smarter than that but you know how they think. Maybe somehow you can work it out with the school that she can drop the keychain off to them in the office in the a.m. and be able to pick it back up before she leaves. That way she still has protection when she gets off the bus. WISH YOU LUCK!
My daughter has had 2 out of the 3
And she didn't have to have a Pap.
How old is your daughter and how
many children does she have? Does she work?
My daughter has ADD
She is not hyperactive, but has an extremely hard time staying on task. She will daydream, watch the butterflies out the window, count the number of times the girl sitting across from her breathes a minute, etc.
She is in third grade and has been on medication for 2 years now. She struggled all through first and second grade and at the end of second grade we had her evaluated. she has a cognitive processing disorder and ADD. Basically, she can see it in her head but it is hard to get on paper. If she can hold it or actually do it, then she can learn it. It is hard for her to read a story and take a test on it, because she has not actually done what the story says, therefore she has not "learned" it.
We noticed a huge difference once going on the medication, but the school also made some accommodations in the classroom. She gets some extra time to take a test if she needs it, she can take her test away from the rest of the class if she needs to, her teachers have been wonderful about giving her extra one-on-one support and giving us materials to study at home.
I certainly do not endorse medicating every child who is just very active and talkative, and this was a huge struggle for my husband and I to commit to putting our daughter on medications. We said we would try it for a few months and if it worked, great. if it didn't, then we would take her off the medication. It was literally like night and day. She can sit still longer, she is able to finish a problem without getting distracted, she can think clearer, etc.
She calls them her magic pills. She tells us they have helped her to think better and it is easier to listen.
You didn't say how old your son was. Is he in elementary school?
Hey.....my daughter
is in that show!
My daughter uses that a lot
I can't stand it either.
Me too, even though it's actually my daughter's
We got it for our 9 y/o for Christmas and we've all had so much fun with it! We're all actually hurting today because we've been playing it every night! I whooped my DH at baseball, bowling and tennis last night - WOOHOO! It's great though that we can spend all this quality time together on a video game system and we haven't sat down and watched tv in days either. I can't wait to get the Fit one either. I saw it's out in Japan (I think) but not here yet. Definitely the best Christmas present that we can all enjoy.
Get this - my daughter
 is 38 (only child) and the older she gets the more "name brand" stuff she wants. Would you believe a Hermes twilley ($150!) and perfume that cost $100! Is she spoiled or what?? But I love doing it!
My daughter wet the bed until she was 11
As she as she hit her 11th birthday it stopped just like that. It was very frustrating. She was a very heavy sleeper and when I tried to wake her up she wouldn't budge, and then when I did get her up she was so disoriented that she would think she was in the bathroom and try to go to the bathroom in the floor in her room. I took her to a urologist and she did have a problem with her urethra that corrected itself as she got older. She was even on medication for a while. Of course, from what I read of your situation it's a lot more complicated than when my daughter went through. I would try to see if I could have him checked out by a urologist to see if there's a medical problem that can be taken care of with medication. My pediatrician told me not to worry about it because it was something that would be outgrown. She was very embarrassing for her. She wore Good Nights for a very long time and we had an incident at a sleepover at our house where all her friends found out, but they were very supportive. Just try to not make it seem like he's doing something wrong.
what about your daughter's
was he involved? were you married?
|
