I would totally ignore them. Difficult as it is
Posted By: sm on 2007-04-27
In Reply to: What would you say to these rude teenage boys?? - sm
if you do not give them a moment of attention or let them know you are offended - they will eventually stop. Why play their game - stoop to their level? Then they have won
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Totally inappropriate, but I think I would probably ignore it.
nm
How does everyone deal with difficult, and I mean extremely difficult, people. sm
I'm not even talking about family members. Just people in general. Especially the ones who are so kind to your face but you know clearly don't like you one bit. I have a few of those in my life. UGH! And I'm so kind that it eats me up inside, but I won't dare say anything to their faces. I just come on public forums like this anonymously and vent my anger and frustration!!
I met with someone today who told me to "love them," and feed into them and show them that you are not this vile person they make you out to be. How do you do that? I'm learning that people, especially women, are just impossible to deal with. And I'm a woman!!!
Amen Sister! She is totally unrealistic! Totally. Loved your post! sm
My grandparents (from VT), will tell you that my grandfather began farming at 6-7 under the supervision of his 10 year old brother. haha No major incidents - his mother tended the home and ran a nursery and she did have the siblings watch over each other. I didn't even think about all of this until you mentioned the farming post. I loved it!
I, for one, need plenty of sleep - so I must work during the day while they are here...Oops, I gottah go! My 2 year old just fell off the kitchen table.
just kidding
Don't ignore it
How close are you to the niece? I have several nieces and nephews that I am close to. They aren't teenagers anymore, but a few of them went through similar situations.
If it were me, I would first talk to the niece and ask her if these stories are true. Explain that she needs to protect herself - not use birth control pills and condoms but staying away from alcohol and drugs which put her in a dangerously vulnerable situation. Does she understand how many young people will spike her drinks just to see her get loopy?
If you thought she was playing Russian roulette, you wouldn't hesitate to get involved - talk to her and then talk to your sister.
Best of luck to you - I really do understand your feelings.
Please ignore the meanies
You obviously needed support/comfort today, and I'm sorry that certain posters who did not have anything nice to say would not just skip your post.
I do hope your ex will change his mind and let your son visit, for you and for him. If not, my hope is that you will be able get through the disappointment and try to look forward to the next time he is able to visit. It sounds like it is best not to "argue" with your ex on this, and perhaps by "turning the other cheek", so to speak, and not letting him know you are upset with him personally about this, just disappointed, he may let your son visit for part of the summer??
Whatever happens, try to keep your chin up and look ahead.
Please ignore the above post
My hubby often does not listen to me but I know for a fact he is not having an affair.
I have just quit listening to him as well. It has become a joke in our family. Not to make light of your situation, I know yours is more serious, but don't assume he is having an affair. I guess it is possible, but how the above poster "knows" he is having an affair is ludicrous.
why not just ignore my post and be on yours
x
a little too coincidental to ignore...
x
Don't be so quick to ignore it
I had something similar happen to me but it was a phone call. Would never have suspected it but it turned out to be true. It is much better to know than to be fooled. Check into it and you will find the truth. I found proof from the cell phone numbers. Very easy to find a pattern. Good luck. I truly hope it is just a prank. Not a fun thing to go through.
My ignore list.
Any kind of meat
Sweet Potatoes
Yams
Pizza (sadly, that is a recent addition. My stomach can't handle it)
Raw eggs
Plain iceberg lettuce
Plain hazelnuts (which I just recently discovered are aka "filberts." Ha.)
Unsalted peanuts
Boca burgers
I'll only eat tofu if it's in a very spicy Thai dish
Ignore the trolls....they are just looking to cause a stir.
I wish everyone could be guaranteed the day off from work to do with as they wish.
it IS MOST rude to ignore any RSVP....got it?
She's just trying to stir stuff up - ignore her - sm
Notice she didn't mention having to chase after and care for children.
Maybe her kids are grown. I don't know about you but I am always on the go with the kids. My mom rarely had time to do stuff with us when we were kids and WE cleaned HER house too.
KitKat sounds like a troll.
oh, it occurred to her, she chose to ignore it...
and these people had to pay $7000 income tax on these vehicles so most of them sold the vehicles instead. However, giving a car isn't as bad as a plasma TV in my mind for the homeless because at least they could sleep in the car(s)......cellphones and plasmas for the homeless made no sense whatsoever to me.
I would just ignore and move on, she sounds - sm
a bit confused, is dementia setting in both mom and the grandma, or are they just drauma queens? As for both of your kids going to a birthday party, who cares, if only one is invited what is the big deal, maybe the kid inviting is not friends with the brother, or there is a big age difference, etc. I have 2 girls and don't take both of them to the party that only 1 was invited to, very bad manners as you point out to invite your other child so they "don't feel left out", which sounds like your mom and grandma think. Maybe your younger son is more spoiled than the first one (hard not to do) or is more social and has more friends. Totally screwy. I'd just invite her, not ask her about it, and just go on like nothing happened.
If you're sure it isn't true, ignore it
It's certainly an easy way for someone to try to make trouble for your husband. I wouldn't pursue trying to figure out who sent it. Don't give them the satisfaction.
That's quite difficult (sm)
The title of your post said "preaching." How do we know what your post is about so that we may avoid the religious posts as you suggested? In the title of your post, are you simply using a one-word paraphrase of the post you are responding to or are you, in fact, preaching? The only way to know is to open your post. Once opened, it's another preachy post.
To each their own!
difficult because
My 15 year old son. Everything he wants is over $200.00. But I don't buy him anything of that techno stuff, so I have to get pretty far out there and hope he loves me enough to considering it a good Christmas present anyway.
Thanks. It's been difficult but
I am now pregnant again and although I will always struggle with the loss, I have happier times to look forward to now and try not to dwell on the past.
I don't think she really meant it that way but its exactly what she did. I was more taken aback by the feeling that she still thinks it was the right thing to do, no regrets, etc. I understand life being in a difficult place and safety was an issue for her and the baby. But to justify the decision because of where her life was at the time, I don't agree. She made those decisions (good and bad) all on her own. To some extent this was a major factor for her to decide to change her life in many ways and follow a different (much better) path.
I was taught to "always ignore the ignorant."
Unfortunately, I've run into people like that before, and I just ignore the comment, make nice chit-chat for a few minutes and "see you later alligator." At least, I demonstrated what my values are and did not degrade myself to their level. The main word here is "ignorant." There are so many people out there that are ignorant of their own manners, ignorant of other people's feelings, just tactless mules.
I really think a lot of it is just to get a response. Ignore the unfounded remarks and let's SM
just go on as usual praising the dogs and all the things that make us smile!!!! 
it seems awfully hard hearted for people to say to ignore him...
After all, he is your dad. I do not know what you should do, but I don't think that cutting him out of your life is going to help him any. Sometimes, I think people do things for attention because they need attention.
Need help with difficult child
I have 3 children, ages 11, 8 and 5. My 8-year-old has always been a difficult child, starting in early infancy. He was always fussy and became quite stubborn during his toddler years. He is now 8 years old and I really have my hands full. He can get quite mouthy with his father and me (married and live together) and has even got physical with me. He has always been physical towards his brothers and is always fighting with them. He has given his teachers a hard time as well as my parents, who spend a lot of time with him.
One time when I was driving up the highway 55 mph, he became very upset (can't remember over what now) and actually slid the van door open to jump out. I realize the child lock should have been on but wasn't due to adult passengers that weekend (is always on now). He becomes so angry so quickly, and I'm really very scared for him.
I have tried several tactics for discipline/help in this situation and nothing seems to work. Some things are short-lived results, others no result at all. We have tried rewards charts, timeouts, loss of privileges, spanking (very short-lived and didn't work anyway) as well as professional counseling with a child psychologist.
The child psychologist spent about 3 months of weekly to every-other-week sessions with my son and wasn't able to give me any insight as to why he is so angry. He indicated to me that my child definitely showed signs of anger through his drawings and behaviors, but he wasn't able to get any clear reason for it. He also seemed to be not so interested in what was causing the problem as he was in dealing with it. My take on it is that I need to know what I'm dealing with before I can begin to fix the problem.
My child has never been abused or traumatized. My parents and sister have been the only caregivers, other than myself and my husband, to care for him. My 2 other children behave fairly well. I can't understand what's going on with my son. I've tried to talk to him about it, but I can't get any answers.
I'm beginning to think he has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or possibly bipolar disorder. His mood swings are so severe, I never know what to expect. What really has me jammed up is that when it's just me and him or just him and his dad and he's getting all the attention, he's pretty much great. Therefore, I know he's capable of good behavior.
Has anyone else ever had a child act like this? Any ideas or suggestions? Please don't bash me, my nerves are on end already. I know I need to get this situation under control before it gets any worse. I just don't know where to turn anymore. My mom says *tough love*, but I've tried that with him and it doesn't seem to have any effect on him. Once when he really misbehaved, I put him in his room and took out all the toys and knick-knacks, so there was nothing but his bed and dressing in there. I put a door lock on the closet and shut the door. When I came back to check on him about 1/2 later, I found him lying on the floor and he had unscrewed all the knobs on his dresser. He was only 5 at the time. It's like he's trying to get even with me for something I didn't know I did to him.
Difficult child
I feel for you mom, I can't imagine! My 2 boys are pretty good, I got lucky. It sounds to me like, if he can behave for OTHER people, than it might not be a disorder. My cousin had a kid like that. If I were you, I would DEFINATELY get a 2nd opinion, it doesn't s/l the 1st person was very helpful at all. You don't just give up (not you personally, the therapist) on a child and say "I don't know why he's like that!" He should have referred you to someone else. I would see what the 2nd therapist says, and go from there. You need to find one that is willing to work with you and your child, someone you and your boy are comfortable with, who will answer your questions and not give up on you, etc. If all else fails, there is always Dr. Phil...Good luck and keep us posted!
it will be a difficult conversation obviously
At 12 and 14 they are plenty old enough to be told the absolute truth. Let them have some time to process it, and then take them for a visit.
They like to make it difficult.
And you can't do it online. So call customer service, and just say no. The service rep is trained to make various offers to get you to change your mind. Just say NO, and ask for a supervisor if you have to. You're going to have to say NO more than once, but it's your money, and you have every right to keep it in your pocket rather than give it to them.
It would be pretty difficult for me because
I was raised on a farm. As long as my parents are living, I imagine I will eat meat whenever they visit. Recently, at home my immediate family has been doing without meat, but we eat meat if we go out to eat. I think it is very healthy to go without meat, but I also think eating a little meat is perfectly healthy too. I am a little concerned about mistreatment of animals and people in factory farming/packing, so I like to eat at Chipotles and buy cage-free eggs.
Adults need one, too. Imagine how difficult it is
for parents who feel the guilt/burden of knowing they cannot provide a Christmas for their babies. I've been there. I know how it feels.
One of my resolutions for 2007 is to pay a set percentage of my gross income to a dedicated cause locally. I'm not sure yet whether I will work with the light/water company to provide assistance for those on shut-off notices (they seem to have less options than anyone else) or help provide transportation to/from doctor visits for elderly/handicapped individuals, but I am going to do something.
It's not difficult either to refuse to consume
garbage posing as information.
Your choice.
My hubby does this work also and says it is the most difficult
job he has ever done. No - it is not physical - you are not outside in the element - but it is draining. I agree with others - put headphones on him and make him sit at your desk - just make him type a paragraph - I guarantee he will change his tune - so sorry - don't let him get to you - he obviously does not appreciate you
i also work for 2 PS..and it's a difficult surgery
and my plastic surgeons dictate the risks in detail of a brachioplasty and they also have their patients speak with other patients who have had the surgery....I have always wanted to have upper arm lifts but after working for these particular 2 docs (among many others) for 11+ years, I think not!! I would also think a *re-do* would leave even more scars/dents.......
If you came out in 1975, that had to be extremely difficult - sm
for you. I know that had to take a lot of courage and strength on your part. Good for you.
I can never put myself in someone else's shoes but I can speak as a mother and a friend. The stigma that goes with the word "gay" needs to just disappear. It's getting better but has a long way to go.
When my son came out, I explained to him that like anything else outside the "normal" is going to take some time for people to really accept. Fortunately, there are many people who already do accept the lifestyle, even if isn't one they share.
We accept it because we love the people for who they are, not how they live.
Good for you. No condemnation from me.
Hi, it is difficult to restore shine when it is gone, but...sm
" Eventually, no matter how diligent you are about cleaning, your no-wax
floor will lose its shine. Then, believe it or not, the best way to
make it new-looking is to wax it.
Use a water-based self-polishing
wax.
Whenever possible use a product recommended by the manufacturer.
If you don't know who the manufacturer is, get a recommendation from a
reputable flooring contractor in your area.
I agree with this poster's mother - it is difficult
Things have changed a lot and obviously it is easier now than it was when I did it (dated someone from a different race)- but there are sometimes huge cultural differences, not only in different races but in same race from very different parts of the country. A lot of traditions that you find important - someone very culturally different (same for religion for that matter) may not. You have to be thick skinned and very committed. A good partner is hard to find.
Is it difficult to blend or get the hang of applying it? NM
NM
Who's the most difficult person(s) you have to buy gifts for at Christmas?
I'd have to say my mom, because if there's something she wants, she buys it herself.
This IS the absolute best way to deal with difficult people.
Unfortunately, this is the way that I have to deal with my own mother. I never tell her anything, or she broadcasts it to the world, twists information, gossips and criticizes. After about 40 years of it, I finally just stopped giving her any information about what goes on in my life, except for the very basic, surface type things. Ironically, my aunt advised me to do this, and said that most of the family has to do the very same thing!
Agree...and the gang mentality thing is often quick to surface when challenged. Ignore these
s
Just bought a Kodak digital camera without optical viewer and find the LCD screen is very difficult
to see what you are taking in bright sunlight. I just read on the internet this happens with many cameras. Any suggestions for this. I dont want to spend tons of money on a camera because I dont use them that often but I am not very happy with this. I tried to get a camera with the optical viewer but almost none of them except the really high end had this. A lot of people complain about this LCD washout. Just wondered if there is any fix for this without getting another camera. This is a Kodak Easyshare. Great in cloudy weather or inside but the sun is another story. 
Totally, totally agree.
You feel inadequate and no matter what you do - you feel like it is not enough - and that is depression. Get on some medication, or get some therapy and start taking time for yourself and enjoy life. Been there and done that myself - STOP FEELING GUILTY - you deserve better!!
Difficult based on taste, easy based on ethics.
I was a vegetarian for 10 years, then a vegan for about 5 before meeting my husband, i.e. Mr. Barbecue. He thinks he will die of starvation if he doesn't have some form of animal flesh on his plate at least twice daily. I do eat meat minimally now but not without guilt about the way the animal was raised and slaughtered. I don't believe meat is healthy either, esp. because of the hormones, antibiotics and unnatural feed commercial livestock receives. I have free-range chickens and use their eggs, and I buy raw milk from a local small farmer whose cows graze freely on organic grass. I am working my way back to a meat-free diet in spite of my DH. Can't wait to shed the 20 pounds of animal-fat blubber I've accumulated and get my cholesterol level back down to where it used to be! You just have to give peas a chance.
Teens!! -- Difficult times for teens and parents. (sm)
You must feel as though you are at your wits' end -- just don't let your son know that. I encourage you to continue to practice assertiveness/"tough love." Do not argue with him; give him a couple of choices when situations arise. Don't allow him to be disrespectful.
It sounds as though your son needs attention. His negative drug test was a "positive"; praise him!!!
.Smile every time he walks into the room.
.Every day find something positive and praise him often for even the smallest thing.
.Everyone has talent(s); what's you son's interests. Show him you are interested.
.Consider Big Brother/Big Sister (maybe a retired teacher will be available)/the "Y."
.Chores/responsibilities -- mowing lawns (earning spending money), assisting at a local nursery, household chores. Keep him busy!!!
.Have him plan/prepare a meal and invite a friend for dinner/movie.
.Watch a movie together.
.Play a little basketball together (my favorite!).
.Attend church together!!
May God bless your home!!
Totally against the war
said it right from the start, told my husband the war was of no use, more and more that is being proven true, hate that young guys are being killed there day after day, the middle east never had as many bombings as they do on a day to day basis now, blood being shed all over the place, the house not wanting to give more money for a no win war, I lived through Viet Nam, no difference here, just different land. Mark my word, different president, the war will be a thing of the past and yet all these fine lives lost.
I am totally
terrified of the draft. I posted earlier about my son wanting to go to Africa next summer and me not really wanting to let him go. I guess you know what my answer would be to the above question so I guess I shouldn't say anything at all.
I was totally going to say
me too!
Oh, but what I've gained ...
(I'll think of something).
Totally think it is really none of your
business that they are working. You don't have any authority and your supervisor is the one to tell them NOT to work. If they have been told not to work and they are, that is between them and the employer.
totally.
My imagination is way too fertile. When someone tells me they are "trying to get pregnant" or they remember the moment their kids were conceived, it's exactly like showing me photos of the deed. Photos I'd way rather not see. ick.
I totally get what you are saying sm
and feel 100% the same way. If I had the means financially, I would help whomever and whenever, my hubby feels the same. However, to not respond to someone who is reaching out to you, I feel, is unforgivable. I would also like to say, give it some more time - you don't know what the situation is and I feel someone who has as big a heart as you obviously have, should hold it open just a little longer.
Totally agree. nm
.
Totally agree with you!
Santa Claus was a wonderful time for me and my children. I did not suffer any ill effects from knowing the truth. This is a magical time for children. They believe in goblins, ghosts, the Easter Bunny, play friends that only they can see and talk with, fairies among lots of others. Why in the world would anyone want to deny a child the pleasure of thinking they are that important that this man in the red suit is coming especially to give them presents. It really made me feel special but I guess other parents want to cut some of the fun time from the child's life.How sad....
I totally agree with you, well said.
I find that others think since I work at home, they can interrupt me any time they want, I am expected to cover things while they are at work, etc. I want to be left alone during my work hours to do my work. I have worked in offices where you were not allowed to have personal calls during work hours, which is fairly common. I think I am going to disconnect my phone during my work hours. Sometimes I feel by working at home I don't get the same respect for my job than others in my home that work outside the home.
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