I would think that your aunt would be proud that
Posted By: Wannie on 2007-07-12
In Reply to: This woman owes no one anything regarding the name - Hallie
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson.
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Well I am an aunt and great aunt
I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Even though divorced still hear from the in-law niece and nephew. I know that they are all different, their likes and dislikes and do something special with them that entails their likes. Not much money but time. Used to do Christmas crafts with them and the older ones over 21 still remember it and the fun we had. Like I have often said it is not the money you spend but the time and knowing that they like, taking an interest in them. When they were little -- especially my great nephews and niece, they would call and say that they needed some "special time" which meant that they wanted time with just them and so no matter what I would have going on I always had them over. I also never broke a promise or a committment to them unless I was on my deathbed and I think that they remember that also. And now that they are older - as am I -- they do more for me -- my 20 year old nephew and his friends took off my paneling and put up sheet rock in my living room, office and kitchen and did not expect pay nothing but lunches and Gator Aid. I tell them aunts are a little special and unique creatures, No matter if a grandparent, foster grandparent, aunt, cousin a lot of these kids just want time spent with them and for you to know them -- it makes them feel special. I am taking my second great nephew to Disneyworld for his graduation -- took his brother to San Francisco. So looking forward to that this summer.
You aunt....
It sounds like you have tried very hard to look out for your aunt and what is in her best interest. Maybe now that her son has seen that someone is trying more to care for her, he may be NOW aware of just how much he really needs to be doing for her. Sometimes it's hard for a child to admit their parent has become so disabled that they need to be taken care of the way their parents used to take care of them, EVERYDAY! I hope your aunt can find a nice place where you can visit with her but of course, your aunt will always love her son dearly and just wants to be close to him like any parent. I just hope he realizes that.
Been there, done that...not proud of it
I have faced a situation like this myself. It was wonderful when it all started. Innocent. He told me everything I wanted to hear, and I am sure it was the same for him. No sexual encounters, however, we got caught. Emails were found. It has been 3-1/2 years since it all went down and I am still struggling to regain the trust my husband once had in me. It definitely was not worth it. A large part of the fun was sneaking and hiding, makes you feel young again. You are going to do what you want to do, no matter what others say. You are going to lose everything you have worked for in your life...for a man who broke your heart so many years ago.
you are welcome; be proud of him
nm
Proud of that
post. My judgment with you was correct. You are the type we are encouraged to find here on this board. This is for camaraderie and to connect. We have done that. Good for us! Keep em' comin'. They'll get tired of us and bug the neighbors or something.
Way to go Son!!!! Know how proud you and he must be. nm
!
Very proud as is he
He even wore his medal and ribbons to school today to show all his friends. :-)
If you did the best you can I am proud of you
Grandpa told me that when helping with homework and tests.
Very proud of you...
and glad you came around and saw how it can hurt the little ones. It's not easy, but sometimes we do just have to keep our mouths shut.
You are not too proud and this is sm
One: You should be proud of what you have done for animals. We are stewards of animals. Some of us take this to the ultimate and become vegans so as not exploit animals. Others give money. Others open their homes to many pets. Others help out in shelters. Without any judgment of what is best...ANIMALS NEED ALL THAT HELP. You are part of that help.
Two: Being "proud" about this would indicate you are doing it for some sort of personal gain. Personal gain would not include, to my mind, being remembered publicly for doing good. When this takes place, and your will is enacted, you won't be here anymore, but your legacy and care will be. Why not have the recognition and encourage others to do as you have done? NOTHING wrong with it at all.
BRAVO for doing something so generous and kind.
Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important.
Dipper
Your aunt's comment....
''well, the doctors really do not want you to tell them what you think it is or what to do for any ailments.''
I don't understand why you are upset; she was talking about the doctors, not you, and her comment was pretty much right on. Unless I am misunderstanding.
I have some problems, probably fibro or a rheumatoid thing, and am going to doctors now for a workup. I do a LOT of research and I know a lot. But, in my experience so far, if you tell a doctor what you think it is, most will do everything in their power to prove you wrong or will just say no, if they don't think of it first. It's called arrogance and yes a holier than thou attitide.
So I guess I don't understand why this upset you.
What kind of aunt ?
You should have asked my brother about that. He did not talk with me for the last 5 years of his life because I married a black guy. He also decided to keep his children away from me. That was his decision. That was what he wanted. The SIL remarried, took her children away, had no contact with my mother hardly, their maternal grandmother (the mother of her husband, remember), no contact with the great maternal aunt of these children. Now go back and ask again what kind of aunt was I?
Congrats... you should be proud
of her and of yourselves for helping her as much as you could. I did the same thing with my DIL, looked at it as an longterm invest in my grandchild's future, the sacrifice of all of you is definitely worth it. I was as proud as any mom when she passed her boards for LPN. My DIL is back in school for her R.N. now, so we continue to help with the babysitting, etc. Wouldn't trade the time with my 2 year-old grandson for anything, even though most days I feel really OLD by the time his daddy picks him up each night. Congrats again to her!
Just show them. Be proud of what you have.
That's my opinion, anyway. :) Don't be worried about how you look to others; most of them are probably all in a tizzy about what others think about them, too, and you don't really care what they look like, right?
I was so proud of my 14yr old
when I told her Paris was out of jail. She just said "So!" I hope she always feels that way.
The proud hunter! :-D
Takes a lot of work to bag a wabbit! So cute!
....tell him you are proud of his talents
nm
If you're not proud of something you did, definitely don't tell them.
Unless it may help to teach them a lesson about something. I believed what I was told, that my mother was a virgin until she married, LOL, and NEVER got drunk and was a wonderful student and it goes on. I am very grateful that she was most likely not completely honest about a lot of things as it probably helped me to be a better person and also respect her more as a person. These are your children, they are not your friends or your siblings. There are certain things you do not share with your children.
You have every reason to be proud of yourself - sm
Have your name printed for all to see. It is a wonderful thing that you are doing. So many animals, so much need, and your generosity is going to be not only helpful but so appreciated. I applaud you.
Congratulations -- You should be very proud of yourself
for being able to accomplish that.
let's just say that's one more reason i'm proud
n/m
You should definitely feel proud....and sm
you can also stay close. I know it must be the hardest thing ever to do. My daughter is almost 9 and I am already dreading the day she will move out. We are very close like you and yours. But I have many adult friends who call and talk to their mother every single day and stay very close to them. You can be one of those too. I know it has to be hard, but you should be so proud that you raised her to be such a courageous and strong young woman. She is this way because of the strong foundation and sense of security that you have given her. Good job Mom! And your job as her mom will never be over. We always need our moms no matter how old we get or how far away we are. I think sons sometimes become more distant but daughters who are close to their moms usually stay that way.
Diverse and proud.
x
My aunt used to vacuum her cats.
She used to vacuum the cats, and they loved it. Plus, it got the dander off.
I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now.
What did the grandmother do?
My aunt, who is just like my mother, told me
just this past weekend when her son sells his property, she plans to go live close by him and his new wife of about a year. I was kinda taken aback as she is up in years but always, always has been really self-sufficient and wanted to be. She broke her hip a year or so ago, recovered from that but still has slowed her down tremendously. She wants to continue doing her housework, gathering her groceries, etc. while having to use a rolling walker. I visit her out of state at least every 2-3 months and call probably every week. She would be moving to another state but the distance for me to travel to the other 1 is probably about the same distance I travel to see her now. I know in my heart she would never had said nor made this decision had it not been for her feeling the need to do so. My mother, her sister, has been deceased since the early 90s but she has taken me under her wing and now tells others I am her adopted daughter. She is really precious to me and I appreciate her being in my life.
Just read your post and my aunt the other day
was saying exactly what you were saying, was there not a good place that I could go to for a diagnosis on what my problems are. I do not know of a place like this at all. I can self-refer myself to a physician and usually do as I know about as much as the people I run into in the offices. After all my years of typing on all kinds of diseases, treatments and such, I do not need a person say 30 or more years younger than me to explain a diagnosis to me. I am sure I could tell them more than they could tell me. Just went to an urgent care place today for 1 of my problems and refused to weigh- the person taking history said I would have to because they would have to know my weight in order to give medication. I told them most medicines I know come in say 10, 15, 20 mg and I never weigh at any office and I see nephrologist, general, endocrinologist, etc. I refused to weigh, still got to see the physician and guess what, nothing prescribed! I probably have been in the medical field longer than this person on earth. on well, enough venting for the night.
My elderly aunt has just gotten 2 red marks
right under her eyes and she tried to see a physician today but was unable to, any thoughts on what this could be? She says bright red spots under both eyes.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember my aunt calling (sm)
to tell my mother that her boss had died. He was like a member of the extended family and the first person whom I knew well to die. I was maybe 11 or 12 and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can only imagine your pain.
Sounds like you are indeed a Great aunt!
nm
carpal tunnel maybe......my aunt described
xx
I have an aunt that has it and she has to watch her sodium, did your sm
doctor tell you about that? (stay away from high sodium food).
We went to my husband's aunt's house once...
and they were having a get together because his uncle was dying of lung cancer. In rolls his three sisters and brother, all with their oxygen tanks and cannulas that they would have to take off to have their cigarettes. I found it fairly ironic and that is when I decided to quit smoking. Not the cancer, not the emphysema, but the ridiculousness of seeing people who can't breath because of smoking taking off what helps them to breath so that they can smoke. At any rate, I am not sure that I really have a point, just something that is interesting to me.
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
How proud her parents must be to have such a pathetic...
loser for a child. However, from what I have read about her parents, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I am always amazed when those afforded all the advantages of life at such an early age choose to spiral downward so quickly and frequently. I am so glad my own daughters are grown; with the group of young celebutards that are out there as role models for girls today, its no wonder teenage girls (and a lot of preteens) that I see today look and act so trampy!
I'm impressed with bravery of so many. Really proud to be
xx
I'd stay away...I'm not too proud to "lose!"
You are responsible to you and your kids. Your kids count on you to protect them from your anal chocolate stepdad. Your mother and brother are adults; they can arrange to see you all on different terms, like in your own town without the stepdad.
This long of a drive will be no good of a trip for anyone when your kids can be expected to be yelled at for being kids and you have to pick up the pieces. I vote it's not worth it.
Proud mommy moment
My oldest son was in the Special Olympics today and came in first in cross-country skiing and snowshoeing :-) I think the whole Special Olympics is awesome!
Great news, and you must be SO proud!! NM
XX
Yes, big Texas accent & proud of it.
x
What a good story! You must be very proud.
He's a good writer for so young. Hope he keeps it up!
My aunt reported a Walmart employee
who left the ladies' room without washing her hands.
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion.
My aunt is elderly but her husband used to drink
This was the love of her life and they had a child together. They both worked, lived with her mother to help her out on bills after her husband died and everything except his drinking went ok. After finding him in ditches, getting DUIs, passing out and the like, nothing worked. After probably 20 something years my aunt divorced him because she knew he probably would kill himself, kill someone else or something horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him but just could not live like that. That was over 40-50 years ago. She still speaks of him fondly (he died in another state in a ditch but had her phone number in his pocket) but I am sure she thought she always made the right decision. Myself, I just would not want to go through that, too much else to keep me busy. Thank goodness no children for you- would be really hard to subject a child to that.
Going to my aunt & uncle's house as usual
My husband, my parents, and I all drive down to my aunt and uncle's house every year. We usually bring something like pumpkin and/or apple pie.
You are comparing your aunt's boss to someone's child?
Sorry, just an odd response. There is nothing that compares to the loss of one's child. My heart goes out to the other poster.
Get this, older aunt of mine, DIL called and said if anything happens
to her- can you give me a call, in other words when she dies. This aunt is also great aunt to my son- I asked the DIL why don't you go to see her now (she is in middle 80s)- always an excuse, no car, no this, no that. She lives driving distance, about 170 miles from here. Just pitiful is all I can say- I visit her every 3-4 months and call her weekly.
Don't throw me down, Clark. I won't, Aunt Bethany
Geezus, you couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
(Christmas Vacation)
My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
My aunt went in the hospital for heart problems...sm
While in there they posted a sign on the door that said contagious or something to that effect. Well the family was like what does she have. The nurse said MRSA. They were like what? She has no symptoms. So later the doctor came in and explained she was a CARRIER of MRSA. She herself would never get symptoms of it cause she was immune due to being a carrier. But she can pass it on. I had never heard of this before and still don't understand it completely. It happened though.
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