I would rather have my door open on a nice day, then live in fear...
Posted By: MtMom30 on 2007-10-31
In Reply to: Look up sometime about Alday family in Georgia - Ya know
That is not a way to live your life...and that is not living in la-la land...
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It was a nice day outside...we had the garage open but the inside door closed...
that wasn't the point of the question but thanks for your concern...
We normally do have the door locked but the garage door was open...
and my husband did ask them to call first and they still didn't listen...they never do...I think they think they don't have to call...
If you have no choice to open up the door - sm
just say that now is not a good time for a visit and to call before coming next time (because you work from home and cannot just drop everything when someone pops by)(add that on if you chose to). They may not like hearing any of it but tough cookies. If you are out of sight, just don't answer the door, if it happens often enough maybe they will think to call first next time and you can again say no, or to nip the visits in the bud say you are quiting that church and to please stop calling you. I am in the boonies and get the occasional church groupie visits of various faiths, I just tell them "not interested" and they go on their merry way without a fight for the most part. Good luck.
Is it okay for your in-laws to come to your house and open your door without first knocking?
My in-laws did this the other day and I just find it very rude...They do this all the time...we tell them to please call before they come over (just in case the baby is sleeping or we are doing something) but they never listen...anyone else have this problem???
Ain't no way on this earth I am going to live in fear
You all are really lacking a lot to have this man rule your lives. If you were a man I would tell you to man up but both of you lack a backbone.
Life is too short to live it in fear. I'd rather sleep in my car -sm
than with someone who mistreated me either physically, OR 'just' psychologically. And even if the kids don't actually see anything happening, you better believe they're still picking up on the bad vibes.
The fact that he mentions killing HIMSELF, in addition to you, is a major red flag. If a person reaches a point where they actually talk about doing something, they're alot closer to doing it than when they were just thinking it to themselves.
Guns in the house. (Guns, pleural!) Not good. I'd have insisted those be gone before the wedding day, myself. (Haha - it'd be in the prenuptial agreement that I'd never get married without!)
Anyway, living in fear for the sake of the greater financial 'security' of having 2 incomes is no security at all, in my book. It's a huge sacrifice of your freedom, peace of mind, & safety. The greatest security you can give yourself or the kids is finding a way to provide for yourselves WITHOUT the 'help' of an abuser.
I never heard of giving yourself a house warming and expecting gifts! How about a nice open
s
why do people go door to door to talk about their religion?
arent they settitng themselves up for confrontatoin?
You live where it's cold or warm? Driving gloves? Some nice body scrub/shower gels? nm
s
You might have to copy and paste to open this, as I tried a few times and it does not open. SM
It is worth looking at and warms your heart.
Door to door sock salesman
Okay, so yesterday a little old man shows up at my door. Now let me say that I do not live in a neighborhood, really. I live on a major highway so you actually have to drive into my driveway and you can't really get to the next house without getting back in your car and driving there.
So I open the door and there's this little old man there with pairs of socks in large ziplock bags. He says:
"I'm raising money for a cancer operation to get cancer out of my stomach and I want you to buy these two bags of socks."
I say, "I'm sorry, I don't have any cash in the house, but good luck."
"How can you not have any cash in the house?"
"We use credit cards."
"You can't just use credit cards. Doesn't your husband live with you?"
"He's at work. Good luck, have a nice day."
"Well when he gets home he should have cash on him."
"Nope sorry, we're not interested. Have a good day."
I closed the door and he left.
Odd....very odd. But here's where it gets even more odd.
Today he showed up AGAIN. Only this time he didn't come to the door. He sat in his car in my driveway and beeped his horn. My mail lady does this when we have a package so I opened the door to go out, thinking it was her. The dog scooted out and while I was trying to get him back in I realized it was this man again......BEEPING for me to come to his car to sell the socks, I guess. I was so mad that my dog got loose I looked at him and yelled "WHAT DO YOU WANT??? I don't need any socks today!!!" Picked up the dog and went back in the house and slammed the door. He didn't get a word in edgewise. I'm hoping he won't be back.....I was down right RUDE to this man. I never speak to anyone that way. Hopefully he won't be back. Steve is concerned that he showed up a second time and even more concerned that he wanted me to go to his car this time. He wants me to get a plate number if this man comes back.
This is my fear also . . .
10-15 years from now they will find some horrible side effect.
re: fear
The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.
Psalm 121:5-8
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
re: fear
Fear is a tool that satan uses to keep us from doing what God is calling us to do. It is also actually sin cause it shows our lack of trust in the Lord. I'm not saying it will be easy to let him go, just that God will comfort you when you trust in Him....
Lovin Jesus,
Jan
why fear it when you won't know it??
:) I am about to turn 28 and I am already losing mine... I know I'm going to get Alzheimer's and that makes me SAD (SUPER sad), but im not afraid of it...
a little fear
can be a good thing, like pain...it tells you something is wrong.
There's a book called "The Gift of Fear," written by Gavin DeBecker. This is from the book jacket: "True fear is often a signal that can save your life. Are you listening?..." This is from the publisher of the book: "Through dozens of compelling examples from his own career, security expert Gavin deBecker teaches readers how to read the signs of impending danger by using their most basic--but often most discouraged--survival skill: intuition. This book provides a unique combination of practical guidance on leading a safer life and profound insight into human behavior."
BTW, I've read that one of the worst things women do (I'm totally guilty of this) is to sit in the car after coming from the store or post office or wherever, reading mail & balancing checkbooks while sitting in a parked car...perfect opportunity for some slimeball.
You did the right thing: Trusted your gut.
d.
If no fear, then what exactly is there to be 'against'?
X
I bet then he sensed his fear
Dogs can sense that a mile away. I know mine can. whenever anyone comes over that is nervous about dogs, the dogs wanna hang all over them and like double sniff them. LOL
my worst fear right now is that even
if I have cash in my hand, it will be worthless, and might as well use it as TP.
not one single fear
zero, zip, zilch, nada...
we are born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. the rest we create or obtain on our own later in life. me: none, other than the two i was born with.
I got married out of fear. Then (sm)
I stayed married out of fear. Then he bought me a GPS and now I'm adventurous. Not being able to navigate was one of my biggest fears. Another fear was not having money. The way he spent our money, we never had any anyway.
that has always been a fear of mine..
that I would spill the grape juice or something.. I always feel like I'm soooo shaky with those little glasses..
your fear should not hold him back.
I understand your feelings, but this seems like a completely reasonable and good trip being planned, one that could mold his mind/heart for his future. Your son could make a very positive difference in many others lives. If you haven't already, learn to trust God.
I understand your fear! I have three sons between
17 and 20 years old. Now and then they talk about enlisting, and of course I worry about the draft. For selfish reasons, I want them always to stay close to home, where it seems to be safe. But it's a very high calling to serve one's country, and I would support that decision if my sons decided upon it. If the draft were brought back, I'd be terrified. I do not support this war. I don't think it was the right thing to do. But I do support the people who serve and respect their decisions and am incredibly grateful to them for their sacrifices. I will also continue to support them by doing whatever I can, small though it may be, to help bring them home AND keep peace for us all. I wish it were a simple thing.
As for our children, the fact is, once they are 18, they can make the decision to join without our consent. Talk to each other, love her and appreciate her. If she decides to serve her country, you do not want to part in anger, and trust me, you will want to support her in any way you can.
I think that's probably a common and rational fear (sm)
I can't stand it and I imagine most people, especially females, but also males, don't like it either.
Fear, not respect. It's not the same thing.
And the fear only lasts until they are bigger than you are and can hit back. You'll probably be surprised when that happens and can't imagine where it came from, but you're the one who taught them that violence is an acceptable way to deal with problems. Some other things it teaches are that it's OK to pick on/bully/hit anyone smaller than you who can't defend themselves in order to get what you want and that once you're an adult, anything goes.
Think about it. You spank a kid for hitting a sibling while telling him it's not nice to hit. You break the hair brush/ruler while paddling your kid for breaking something but you suffer no consequences for breaking something. What you get is confusion and fear, but not respect. Maybe the kid turns out OK; after all, there are other influences in his life. Maybe he doesn't. And if he doesn't, I hope he doesn't have a gun.
Phobia means fear.
Everybody throws around the word homophobia, but that is not the right word. People who are against homosexuality are not afraid of it. They think it is wrong. It's just annoying to keep seeing this word used in this way.
I finished Harry Potter! Never fear - no spoiler.
Wow - what a great book & series. Brilliant! As Ron would say.
spanking builds fear that you mistake as respect
A child who has been abandoned by both parents has no trust in anyone. Why do you think spanking is the right way to build trust? We just need to agree to disagree on this issue. I trust the counselor's recommendations more than yours as hers have proven to work. Spanking does not _make_ ALL kids do good. Sigh.
I agree with Kendra, if you fear he would be physicall abusive - (sm)
then you need to be away from him. He is just your boyfriend, right? Not even your husband. I left a marriage recently from an abusive husband. He "only" beat me physically once, but he was controlling and emotionally abusive at other times AND he looked at young lesbian porn online. If I ever start dating someone and I get even a hint that they could ever become physically abusive to me I will run from that relationship so fast your head would spin. Please get away from him!! Dont even deal with it another day.
Yeah that's my fear. Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but (sm)
I don't want to be a dummy either
Please read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It can save your life. NM
x
I do live in Arkansas - my parents live up in Branson so I'm in Missouri quite often!
x
Calling all you animal lovers - live and let live or intervene? - sm
I have a dilemma. I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about. At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food. This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed. I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him. Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him. Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously). I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety. I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care. At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment. Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold? I know there are lots of animal lovers out there. What does everyone think?? 
I'm a live-and-let-live person but had to draw the line
after I found HUGE holes in the walkway between my house and barn. I thought they were just little mice stealing grain, but then I spotted one and it was a HONKIN RAT! My poor olderly cat was out there with me at the time and saw it, and he hissed at it and ran away!
I asked for advice on what to do at a local agricultural board, because I have other animals and didn't want to use poison and conventional traps weren't working. They advised putting a large pale of water out with some seeds floating in it, figuring the rats would go for the seeds and end up drowning. That was a no-go because the water just froze up solid. I wound up reluctantly going with Decon because I just can't have my house destroyed. I haven't had seen any more rats or evidence of them stealing grain, so I'm guessing they have died. The guy at the grain store promised me the rats would not die in the building and stink the joint up, rather they would crawl off and die outside. I don't know if I believe that, as it is still winter here and decomposition would be holding off until it warms up. We'll see, but at least the destruction has been halted.
Good luck and I too say have no mercy, because you just don't need them destroying hour house or causing a spark chewing wires and burnin' the place down. It is war!
 (How un-PC is this emoticon?!)
What a nice response by a nice mom
What a gracious, well-adjusted response to a rude, obviously maladjusted poster--Hard to imagine someone with such an empty life and such a petty spirit that they would take the time to post criticism about a kid's feet! (Some people really have major issues, LOL!)
please do not let the door hit you on your bum
Right next door,
Henry, close to Eagles Landing - we can visit....
Just don't answer the door.
Just don't answer the door.
Door jams
They make little squared off cat scratchers to go over the door jams, this might save your husband some work, love my cats, have 3 couldn't live without them.
Just now getting up to lock the door?
My husband can be home- doesn' matter- I always keep my doors locked. I see people on TV news who are broken in on, murdered, assulted, raped - they said where they lived didn't think it would happen there?? Happens everywhere.
Actually, my side is to the door. sm
Can't put the desk anywhere else but in this corner.
You either need a door with a lock or - sm
to set up some kind of boobie trap that scares them first (I.e. something popping out at them when they enter the room). A taste of their own medicine would do them good
How about locking the door? Better yet...
ask them to call you first. If you can't ask them, have your husband ask them. It's YOUR home, isn't it?
I wish I lived right next door to
help you with your project. That's my kind of fun. :oD I wuv a good rottie. Can't imagine playing with 3 of them.
Message on Door
I am a word nut. Transcriptionist in me I guess. But the Family Dollar Store at the corner of my street has a hand written sign posted on their door saying "We No Longer Except Credit Cards". I get a chuckle every time I go in there. Should I tell them or not?????
door even if no answer there, either.
x
there was a knock at the door, our then 3 yr old
comes running into the kitchen, 'mommie, mommie, tony the creature is here!!"
(our preacher had come by for a visit)
She needs a doc with a sign over his door that sez -
..
nothing is open
I would take her to gynecologist...seriously.
Most of the people I've met at my door
to a church and have our own beliefs. I wouldn't appreciate it if someone went on and on after I've told them that. Would probably shut the door, just as I would hang up the phone with a pushy telephone solicitor.
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