I would raise 5 boys to 1 girl!
Posted By: tia on 2007-05-05
In Reply to: Which are easier to raise -- boys or girls? - MSMT
Girls cost too much.
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Which are easier to raise -- boys or girls?
I was always told boys. I had 2 girls and uff-dah what a hormonal nightmare. Now I have a teenage boy and those hormones are at least as bad. Prolly worse.
boys or girl
I have 2 of each (yes 4 in all) and I would defitenly say boys right now. My kids are still young so may be my mind will change with age!
I had an older girl and then moved in 2 very young boys
It brings a smile to my face to remember what went on. The girl, Emerald, Russian blue, decided instead of accepting she would try to go into the master closet and sit behind the door and sulk. Hubby would have none of that and made her come out and "mingle" so he said. She lived to be ripe ole age of 18, the boys by that time were about 3 and as she lay dying in the living room (had her comfortable. her head on a pillow and a cover over her lower body) one of the boys came and touched her gently with his paw as if to tell her it was ok. Now my smile is turning to tears. She learned to accept and was their friend. I could tell after her death the boys missed her as they went thru the home looking for her in the rooms. When the boys first came I just made sure everyone got attention and loving and all accepting in the long run.
She did NOT raise that boy the first 6 to 7
years of his life. That is a lie.
How much does she need to raise?
Did you raise them on your own
or is there someone else to share the blame? Kids don't spoil themselves.
I do not think it is appropriate for any man to raise
If the child is that bad, send her to counseling. Writing a report brings out all of the reasons the child has done the wrong. Unless she's breaking the law, man-handling is not on the top of my list of punishments! I disagree with your statements, and I disagree with blank rooms. I think talking things out and finding out the root of the problem is the answer, not spanking or punishments that require imprisonment. Obviously, the OP didn't feel the child had done that much wrong or the friend wouldn't have been allowed to spend the night. That's all I have to say on this issue, which is ridiculous in this day and age of molesters. Oh, and I was paddled on my bare bottom at age 10.... No, I wasn't too fond of men. This issue is no different than a wife beater or child molester.....
asking for raise
I would just make contact with the person in charge of raises, and present your case (not from a 'need' perspective, but from a deserve perspective). Just form it as a request and touch on your high points!!
raise
It justs seems like with the cost of everything going up. Also we get the best with working at home, but they do not pay vacation, benefits or anything else. Why woudl it kill them to give a raise.
would rather raise 5 girls than 1 boy..sm
When boys grow up and become men, their *toys* become MUCH more expensive than girls (think boats, cars, motorcycles, ATVs, planes, trains, etc.).
I had such success with my girl that I want more girls *lol*
Looking for best place to raise a kid
I like where I live...but after a week from H E double toothpicks last week, I really feel that a bit of distance between myself and any family members would be better. Long story short, you think your family will be there to help when you need it, but instead all you get is beaten down and end up feeling bad and having to deal with your crises by yourself anyway (it's the ONLY reason I moved back to this area a couple of years ago).
Currently, I live in the deep south and my city has an excellent !!! school system, but I know there are other good school systems out there. So, here are some of what I would like in addition to a good school system.
Near water and mountains (could be lake or ocean, or state park), easy access to public transportation (in case my car breaks down), a good YMCA or city recreation center.
I've been looking at a borough just north of Philly, a couple of small cities in Virginia, a city north of Denver, some areas in North Carolina. I would like to avoid the west coast unless it's somewhere in Washington State or Oregon. I've considered the Reno area, but I've never been there and I don't know what the schools are like.
Any ideas? Thanks! 
Anyone who never has to raise their voice to get (sm)
I have an 8 year old an almost 11 year old and my husband is gone a lot. They are basically good children, never get in trouble at school except occasionally for talking, don't really do anything malicious or mean. But sometimes the bicker incessantly with each other and many times I feel as if I have to tell them repeatedly to do something and finally have to get a mad voice before they listen -then their feelings are hurt because I raised my voice. Right now my son is crying because I told him he has to help clean the house before he can have friends over this morning (he is almost 11). On school days they don't want to help because they have been at school all day. On weekends they don't want to help because those are their only days off. I am making them help even though they don't want to, but why the tears? It makes me feel like a mean mom, but I can't do it all myself and don't feel I should have to. 
Did you see the part about how she was going to raise them?
She was bragging that she does not receive welfare, but then they have admitted that she receives food stamps and two of the older children get SSI for disabilities. But, she said her source of income to raise them would be her student loans!
I would raise some caine, she is not - sm
abiding by the rules. I would either (1) give her a warning and inform her that you will revoke car privileges for two weeks if she comes home late again (3x and you are out basically), and if she wants to go anywhere she needs to get herself there and back by the appointed time, or she won't be allowed to go anywhere, or (2) revoke them now since she has already broken the rules 2 x.
If I knew I was going to be late I had to call to let my parents know, they did not care that it was 12:30 a.m. and I was to be home by 1, I was to call no matter what. I think I only had to do that once, roads were icy, and was not about to speed home to be on time. They were fine with it. Considering I was 16/17 when I was a senior my parents were pretty lenient, as long as I told then were I was, who I was with, and be home by the appointed time, 10 on school nights, 12 or 1 on weekends depending on what I was doing, dates were midnight generally, special dances 1 a.m. except for the Prom, got to okay to be out all night for that one. I was close to being late a few times due to haveing too good a time on dates, so makes you wonder what your daughter is up to. Just because she is 18 it is not a magic number of being allowed to do whatever she wants. She is still in school and you are still her parent no matter how "responsible" she seems to be for her age. You cannot be her friend, you are her mother.
I did not raise a debate, criticize the OP, or anything
x
Love Raise the Red Lantern
So few people enjoy foreign films - and I just love them. I want the Chinese, Indian, Japanese, European, Latin American - all of them. Hardly ever find a dud. I've seen every foreign film at Blockbuster at least once.
Have you watched the Red, White, and Blue triology by the French director? Can't think of his name right now, but all 3 films are simply superb and although each is separate, there is a common thread that he brings together at the end of the third movie.
Or they want to raise them so they can be killed in a senseless war!!
Not that I think it is good to kill fetuses either ... but why don't these people see their lack of logic!
And as far as the stem cells and embryos ... why don't they fight to stop allowing people to fertilize and freeze them to begin with (or more than they will surely use)?!!
If the mom was so bad, why did ANS let her raise Daniel for the first 6-7 years of his life?
x
let's raise the flag *ROFL*.....lucky you....
It figures! I just found out they're going to raise my
29% next month! (And I always pay on time and far more than the minimum.) Well forget all that! I'm going to take the money out of what's left in my bank account (SAME bank, only savings only earns a measly .03% interest!) pay off the Mastercard, and just close the d@mned thing. I've had it with Wall Street, I've had it with negligent banks, and I've had it with greedy credit card companies. They can all go under for all I care, I'm going to pay cash from now on, and just keep a checking account for the debit/ATM card. The economy, banking system, and stock market never have, and never WILL, work for the 'little guy'. We were fools to fall for all that hooey. Sure hope the IRS doesnt mind the IOU they're gonna get from me this year, cause what goes around, comes around.
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home
No where either. My mother didn't raise any foolish kids. LOL nm
nm
Is it just me or does the fuel surcharge for speeders sound like another way to raise taxes? nm
x
I see by your birthdate that you weren't trying to raise a family during the Regan years -sm
We were lucky, my DH never lost his job, but the town we lived in had about a 75% foreclosure rate with vacant houses and most of the businesses closed down.
We ate a lot of Hamburger Helper, mac & cheese, Rice A Roni, and Top Ramen. My 3 kids got their clothes and shoes at thrift stores, I went without. DH went without. We would have qualified for food stamps, but the state couldn't afford to have a program. Oh, and after Regan failed to get the school lunch program dumped completely he wanted ketchup declared a vegetable.
There was no question of me working - first there were no jobs, and second anything I earned plus some would have gone to daycare. Doctor and dentist visits were just about nonexistent because we couldn't afford insurance.
After that hellish 8 years things slowly got better until W, and wow, it's like Deja Vu all over again! Ain't it great?
Definitely boys for me.
nm
23 and 24 with my boys...sm
I used to be able to climb trees and did the iron kids triathelon with them....
My sister had her child at 42....the only girl outta 7 grandchildren....guess who's grandma's princess? 
oh boys
will be boys!
boys
My son is 15 and I cannot tell you how many interviews and interrogations we have had to go through. Every time he has been on a date the parents want to meet us and see our house, etc. I has been a flipping nightmare, especially since these little flings last about a week and are over after the dance! In my humble opinion, find her something else to do. That is what I have had to do with my son. I just can't take the pain anymore. Join some super busy, mega overly scheduled adult supervised something! Shoo, shoo, mama is working!
I don't think so. I have 2 boys. They have
proven that circumcision can be beneficial for several reasons, not to mention it is more hygienic. I was conflicted with my first son because my OB/GYN was against it. She was African-American and I don't know if it was a cultural thing or what. She did do my son, but she didn't take enough off, it wasn't her decision to make. My second son I didn't hesitate.
My mom said that at 8 days she took my brothers to be circumcised - based on the Bible.
I can't see how it would be called abuse. I think it is personal choice. I can't tell you how many reports I've done on men over 50 who have had problems and have had to be circumcised.
Two boys
I have 2 boys; 24 and 19. The older one moved away to college, the school dropped his program after 2 years, so he floundered and moved back home. After 6 months told him get a job, pay his bills, go to school or get out. He went to work FT and paid all his own bills, moved out for a few months with some guys (who did not pay their share of the rent) and then moved back home, went back to college, has made the honor roll for the last year while working, just started in 2009 charging him room and board as he is after all 24. Other son 19, almost lost him to bad decisions and bad friends at 14-15 but is on the right track now; in college and working PT, pays his bills. He goes to the community college, looking into a 2+2 program, told him to go away for the last 2 years as he will get the experience of being on his own without being totally on his own. He has a serious girlfriend. I am more worried about those 2 getting an apartment together first and then him not finishing school. Older son is working on buying a house within 18 months and younger son will live with him (if not with girlfriend first.) I have to say I'm looking forward to an empty nest.
While I don't have boys but -sm
two young girls, 9 and 10, for years I would cover for my DH, get the card, mail it to his mom, make him call her on Mother's Day (remind him 50x)....For years when my kids were babies I would get nothing from him, because as he would say, I was not his mother. Well what about those two squirmy kids of ours, I am their mother. I told him he needed to help them and get a card from them to give to me, or help them make me a card, whatever that did not matter. (I have always made sure he got something from the kids on Father's day). The kids have been able to be the ones to remind him now for the last few years about special days, Mother's Day and my birthday which is great. I don't want much, just a card and Happy B or Mom day, just acknowledgement basically. He had some sort of epiphany a year or two ago and now sends his mom flowers every Mom Day and at Christmas, think this was the 3rd one in a row(guilt and belief they are dying coming to bear now, MIL is 74 but doing quite well), still did not send her a card though, figured the card with the flowers was enough. I made him go out an buy the card (instead of me coving his butt as usual). We all signed it and he mailed it. I never missed with my mom and did something every year until she died. She kept ever one of my cards too, found them after she died. ---I would still send your son a card on his birthday but leave the money out, betcha that will grab his attention. ----My DH doesn't remember anyone's birthday, he forgot mine a few times which stunk. I take care of getting the cards, mailing them, etc., though refuse to do Mom day anymore, I still have to nag at him to call his mom, dad on their birthdays, etc. Some guys are just lazy and don't want to be bothered with it.
Two boys.
I have 2 boys and enjoy them immensely. The oldest drives me nuts with some of the decisions he makes. He is funny, easy going, lots of friends and just doesn't take life too seriously.
My youngest is 17. He is very smart, has big plans for college and career (he says, you don't have to understand what it is mom, you just have to pay for it). My regret is that I wish I'd had more kids. I would take a whole house full of boys. So much fun!!
I raised 2 boys on my own.
Maybe some of these techniques that assisted me can do the same for you:
1) Literally write down a list of rules that you want observed in your home. Not what you think you can get him to do but what you actually WANT. Make copies for his bedroom, for the refrigerator, for his billfold, for every room you can. (I printed mine off and framed them in certificate frames and hung them up. Be specific. Cover all areas.)
2) Literally write down behaviors and language you are not going to tolerate and rank them.
2) Literally write down a list of everything that is important to this youngster. Include friends (by name), electronics (iPod, computer, etc.), privileges (telephone, friends coming over, going out, driving), and places he enjoys going (movies, sports events, eating establishments, etc.). Rank these in order of importance to him.
3) If possible, have your husband (separated, correct?) to meet with you first and agree and provide a united front. Agree on what you expect of him as his parents, what is best for his wellbeing. Write down how you will construct discipline and dispense punishment. Make it appropriate, reasonable and, above all, something you will actually do.
5) Have a meeting with your son (and your husband, if he is onboard with you). Give your son a copy of the new rules, the discipline tactics, the unacceptable behaviors and the punishments. Go over each one of them. Don't argue. Don't explain too much. The lists are clear. Everything has a yes/no as to its use and everything has an if with it as well.
Here's the hardest part: Do what you say. If his language is offensive, he can't talk on the phone. Period. No exceptions, period. Even if you have to unplug it and keep the cord in your pocket. Never argue; never raise your voice. Just calmly make your statement and leave it alone. The more he carries on, the more trouble he will incur. Let him handle the stress of it. If you protect him from the consequences of his actions, he will never, ever change and never learn. (Warning: His behavior WILL get worse before it gets better and then it will wax/wane on occasion just to test the waters.)
Stay with him after school in his tutoring. I showed at school one day in high school for my oldest. One day for 2 classes and that was all it ever took. Made the difference with my youngest, too! Neither one wanted me showing up and sitting next to him in class! Be there but let the teacher do the tutoring. Just be there to enforce his attendance and understand what is happening in the sessions.
Praise good/changed behavior but do not reward it. If it is behavior you are wanting to be an expected behavior, praise it, acknowledge it. Reward exceptional behavior that goes beyond what you have set rules for.
Make sure he is involved in his own caretaking: Laundry, specific chores (no pay -- no ma'am, do not pay any child to contribute to their household), help cook one night a week, yard work, etc.
Be watchful of his music, TV watching, movie going. These can have just as devastating of an impact on him as his so-called friends. Make sure you know who his friends' parents are, what they do; do you agree with how they live? How these friends act? If not, restrict his activities with them.
Get him involved in some type of sport he enjoys and into a youth group if at all possible. It is important.
I hope these tips will help you as much as they did me.
my boys are warriors
Both have been deployed at one time or another to Iraq. One is there now. The other boy told me that he had gone to the funeral of one of his brave friends who had been killed. Those horrible people were there from Kansas, but the Harley people were there also, 200 to 300 of them, each holding a flag, protecting the family of the soldier from the disgusting behavior of that supposed church. Made chills go up and down my spine. Can you imagine that many flags in one place being used to protect a family! GO HARLEY WARRIORS!
huh? boys much easier? NOT...NM
Boys do go through stages.
On the other hand, depression can come out as anger.
I think mothers are supposed to help their kids understand their feelings and talk to them, but it can be difficult to get boys to express themselves.
It's think it's a normal stage to go through for boys to just be annoyed by girls because girls are so talkative and different, sometimes dating-obsessed or gossip-obsessed or whatever, and for a boy it's annoying.
Maybe he doesn't enjoy competing with a girl who is older.
I think he would rather spend time with boys right now, but boys need something to do together so they stay out of trouble.
But he needs to realize that he doesn't really hate girls. He just doesn't enjoy the different developmental stages they go through. And your daughter might benefit from knowing how males' brains work - that guys don't admire girls who are obsessed about stuff they think is silly.
Just some thoughts. Parenting is hard, but respect for siblings should be taught, and some space from each other can go a long way.
That's for sure and something I hear over and over. Boys
s
To me it always seems to be harder on the boys (sm)
My husband are like that - oil and water for sure. We just can hardly stand to live together anymore. We have been trying to stay together for the kids for years.
How did affect you and your sister?? Would it have been better if they had stayed together or was it just a bad situation either way? I feel like I am choosing the lesser of the evils.
My boys had to pay me twice as much as their tickets sm
If the ticket was 50.00, they had to pay me 100.00, too. No ifs, ands or buts. Didn't have to take away the keys. This worked every time. They are all good drivers now. None of the speed.
The first of my new boys has arrived. (sm)
Introducing Teddy! He's a Schipperke mix, only about 20 lb. He has a tail, which is very cute and curled, but he's hiding it. I'm new at photographing black dogs, but I think it turned out okay for a first try. He's already had a bath and flea treatment with Frontline Plus, because we're in the South and he had fleas.
Here is a picture of our 3 boys - SM
Max, Scooter, and Bailey
For those of you with teenage boys
I just wanted to share this. Yesterday my 16 yo son said to me, "Mom we should make some Christmas cookies." My older 2 aren't home from college yet so it is just he and I. I bought all the colored sugars, we put on Xmas music and he helped me make the dough, cut out the cookies and decorate them. I share this only because if you have a teenage son you know this is highly unusual when what they really want is to hang out with their friends and play loud music and talk about girls! It really touched me that we had this special time together. I am blessed to have him for a son. 
That's the other thing my boys want
--- a tattoo. I told them they could get the airbrush ones at the beach this summer. They're saving up. No permanent ones until they're 18 and they can pay for it.
My sister got one in high school and my parents never knew it until years later. They were still po'ed. My fear with real tattoos is hepatitis. Again, if they're going to do it (which we all know they will), better to have it done professionally.
As a mom of 2 boys, now older,
who played baseball and hockey, do your son a favor and refrain from making a scene. It's embarrassing for him and puts such a negative tone on the game for all the kids. Be the better person, take the higher ground, keep your mouth closed and realize this should be fun for the KIDS.
I have 3 boys, so I can somewhat relate
It seems I can take privileges away from my oldest and it works very well. My younger one, however, doesn't seem to care. What does bother him is sitting on time-out. I read a few books and they say the length of the timeout should be equal to the age - 5 years old then 5-minute timeout. This frustrates him more because he likes to be in control and when I put him on timeout, he has no control. I usually sit him at the dining room chair - no TV, no toys. I use the timer on the microwave, so he can hear it when he beeps. He knows to push the chair in when he gets up. If he does something shortly thereafter, I double the length of the timeout. A few times of this and eventually they catch on.
As for harming the dogs, I would probably keep them in a certain area of the house where I could see them. At least then you know if he's doing something to them and hopefully can stop him before he really hurts them.
As tempting as it is, name-calling will not teach your child anything but name-calling. Taunting him with this is probably not a good idea. If he continues to lie, I would continue to put him on timeout or take away privileges depending on the extent of the lie and the circumstances.
I know it's hard, but consistency is the key. Eventually, he will learn. It just takes some kids longer than others.
Why boys need parents...
This is for those mother's of boys, sisters of boys, and boys that have grown older and anyone else who needs a laugh.
11 year old boys
I am in the same boat. My son does all the things yours is doing right now. Right down to the shower. I am not sure if your son is, but my son has OCD (obsessive complusive disorder)this is worse when he is stressed. He was diagnosed at the age of 3, no he is not on meds and I have used behavior modification for him. Yes the modification works just as well without the harmful side effects of a drug.
I can pass on a few things I have found that work. Only make an issue out of things that can hurt himself or others. Like the hair, yep in the eyes is a pain, but it will not hurt him or anyone and he has control of that. Clothes are the same way, again this is something that at 11 he has control of. I think that is what he is frustrated about. Everything seems out of his control to him. So he is 11 and is stressed and crying is his way right now of letting things out. By allowing him to have control over the smaller things, maybe that will put things into perspective for him again.
Good luck I hope I have helped you in some way.
On boys and Gardasil
I have thought the same thing before, about it being only for females, and found that in Australia it is also available for males. IMHO, promiscuity is certainly not exclusive to males, but I believe it is more common (at least it used to be), so seems like they are the ones that are more culpable for the spreading of HPV. It's the whole playboy generation gone wild.
Also, just heard a few days ago about HPV being a cause of oral cancer. Wondered how long it would take them to make the link.
I live in Georgia and had not heard that it is mandatory for females here, but read that most states that are considering mandatory inoculation and have introduced a bill also have an "opt out" clause.
If I had a daughter or daughters, I do not think that I would be rushing out to have them inoculated.
Both my boys have tracfones..........sm
or at least until the youngest lost his, LOL.
My oldest son's tracfone has texting capabilities but I don't know if all of them do. His is Motorola flip phone. I don't know the number on it, but it is thin and black.
The minutes don't expire as long as you purchase and redeem air time cards when they are due. Hope this helps.
I have 2 tuxedo boys and they
are my loves. Brothers, 1 looks like he ate the house (22 lbs) and his brother not far behind him. You certainly have a good looking guy and I am sure he will give you so much love. Our furries are so special to us and we to them.
In your opinion, do you think boys can have
a Hope Chest also? Watching my kids this Christmas and with one getting ready to graduate high school, I realized they will be starting out with nothing. I have 2 boys and wondered if a "Hope Chest" would be appropriate.
What would you include? (in removing the Christmas Tree this year, I am packing the oldest's ornaments he has collected over the years for him to have on his first Christmas Tree next year).
Bittersweet!
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