I would lay down the law now s/m

I was a goodie-goodie, too, or so my mom thought.  I was an honor student (actually graduated second in my class), ran with a pretty good crowd, never did drugs.  I did, however, try alcohol (wanting to fit in with some of the wilder crew) and cigarettes.  The cigarette thing didn't last long, maybe a week or 2.  My mom noticed the smell on me almost immediately and told me if she ever caught me smoking, she would make me eat a pack of cigarettes.  At the time, I took her pretty seriously; though, looking back now, I doubt she would have actually made me eat it.

As for the alcohol, tried that once, too, in high school.  Fortunately, I didn't like the taste of beer and since that's what everyone else was drinking, there wasn't much of a choice.  I chose not to drink.  I was heavily involved in SADD and I think that weighed in a lot for me. 

My biggest area of concern for my parents was the whole dating/sex thing.  I had a steady boyfriend for my sophomore and junior year and ended up taking it to that level.  When I finally told my mom about it, she freaked, as did my dad. I was grounded for 6 months and she kept her word.  I went no where with my friends.  Eventually, I was allowed to date again, my senior year, but not with that guy.  Putting us on hold for 6 months seemed to do the trick.  I realized he didn't care enough about me to wait, and that also made me realize that most guys probably wouldn't, so when I was allowed to date again, I chose not to get intimately involved.  The guy I dated throughout my senior year was good enough to wait for me, and I ended up marrying him several years later (after college).  13 years and still going, so far so good!

So, be strict with your daughter, but be fair and consistent.  She needs to know there are limits and that if she chooses to continue with these actions, there will be adverse consequences.  After all these years, I'm glad my mom did what she did or I probably would have ended up pregnant before I graduated high school and who knows what kind of life I would have had then.

• Need advice on 16 year old daughter. SM - worried
  • former teenage alcohol user - flcmtt
  • been there - anon
  • Scary isn't it? - sm
    • When my now 20 yo DD told me about her drugs and alcohol sm - I freaked a bit
  • I would lay down the law now s/m - A former 16-year-old
    • A lot depends on your daughter, not just you - sm - xxx
      • Thank you for the advice. sm - worried
        • drinking for 2 years is not trying it out - s/m

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