I would just ignore and move on, she sounds - sm
Posted By: on 2008-12-16
In Reply to: I can forgive, but how to forget? - long, please forgive me but I really need advice
a bit confused, is dementia setting in both mom and the grandma, or are they just drauma queens? As for both of your kids going to a birthday party, who cares, if only one is invited what is the big deal, maybe the kid inviting is not friends with the brother, or there is a big age difference, etc. I have 2 girls and don't take both of them to the party that only 1 was invited to, very bad manners as you point out to invite your other child so they "don't feel left out", which sounds like your mom and grandma think. Maybe your younger son is more spoiled than the first one (hard not to do) or is more social and has more friends. Totally screwy. I'd just invite her, not ask her about it, and just go on like nothing happened.
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Don't ignore it
How close are you to the niece? I have several nieces and nephews that I am close to. They aren't teenagers anymore, but a few of them went through similar situations.
If it were me, I would first talk to the niece and ask her if these stories are true. Explain that she needs to protect herself - not use birth control pills and condoms but staying away from alcohol and drugs which put her in a dangerously vulnerable situation. Does she understand how many young people will spike her drinks just to see her get loopy?
If you thought she was playing Russian roulette, you wouldn't hesitate to get involved - talk to her and then talk to your sister.
Best of luck to you - I really do understand your feelings.
Please ignore the meanies
You obviously needed support/comfort today, and I'm sorry that certain posters who did not have anything nice to say would not just skip your post.
I do hope your ex will change his mind and let your son visit, for you and for him. If not, my hope is that you will be able get through the disappointment and try to look forward to the next time he is able to visit. It sounds like it is best not to "argue" with your ex on this, and perhaps by "turning the other cheek", so to speak, and not letting him know you are upset with him personally about this, just disappointed, he may let your son visit for part of the summer??
Whatever happens, try to keep your chin up and look ahead.
Please ignore the above post
My hubby often does not listen to me but I know for a fact he is not having an affair.
I have just quit listening to him as well. It has become a joke in our family. Not to make light of your situation, I know yours is more serious, but don't assume he is having an affair. I guess it is possible, but how the above poster "knows" he is having an affair is ludicrous.
why not just ignore my post and be on yours
x
a little too coincidental to ignore...
x
Don't be so quick to ignore it
I had something similar happen to me but it was a phone call. Would never have suspected it but it turned out to be true. It is much better to know than to be fooled. Check into it and you will find the truth. I found proof from the cell phone numbers. Very easy to find a pattern. Good luck. I truly hope it is just a prank. Not a fun thing to go through.
My ignore list.
Any kind of meat
Sweet Potatoes
Yams
Pizza (sadly, that is a recent addition. My stomach can't handle it)
Raw eggs
Plain iceberg lettuce
Plain hazelnuts (which I just recently discovered are aka "filberts." Ha.)
Unsalted peanuts
Boca burgers
I'll only eat tofu if it's in a very spicy Thai dish
Totally inappropriate, but I think I would probably ignore it.
nm
Ignore the trolls....they are just looking to cause a stir.
I wish everyone could be guaranteed the day off from work to do with as they wish.
it IS MOST rude to ignore any RSVP....got it?
I would totally ignore them. Difficult as it is
if you do not give them a moment of attention or let them know you are offended - they will eventually stop. Why play their game - stoop to their level? Then they have won
She's just trying to stir stuff up - ignore her - sm
Notice she didn't mention having to chase after and care for children.
Maybe her kids are grown. I don't know about you but I am always on the go with the kids. My mom rarely had time to do stuff with us when we were kids and WE cleaned HER house too.
KitKat sounds like a troll.
oh, it occurred to her, she chose to ignore it...
and these people had to pay $7000 income tax on these vehicles so most of them sold the vehicles instead. However, giving a car isn't as bad as a plasma TV in my mind for the homeless because at least they could sleep in the car(s)......cellphones and plasmas for the homeless made no sense whatsoever to me.
If you're sure it isn't true, ignore it
It's certainly an easy way for someone to try to make trouble for your husband. I wouldn't pursue trying to figure out who sent it. Don't give them the satisfaction.
I was taught to "always ignore the ignorant."
Unfortunately, I've run into people like that before, and I just ignore the comment, make nice chit-chat for a few minutes and "see you later alligator." At least, I demonstrated what my values are and did not degrade myself to their level. The main word here is "ignorant." There are so many people out there that are ignorant of their own manners, ignorant of other people's feelings, just tactless mules.
I really think a lot of it is just to get a response. Ignore the unfounded remarks and let's SM
just go on as usual praising the dogs and all the things that make us smile!!!! 
it seems awfully hard hearted for people to say to ignore him...
After all, he is your dad. I do not know what you should do, but I don't think that cutting him out of your life is going to help him any. Sometimes, I think people do things for attention because they need attention.
Agree...and the gang mentality thing is often quick to surface when challenged. Ignore these
s
Move to TX
Then come June if they are on your property - well let's just say that the law will be on your side in whatever you choose to do to them. Right now you can't do much unless you are threatened, but come June - with the new gun law - well, I think you get the point. I think some mace or pepper spray would be in order for them - or maybe just get the waterhose and spray them with that - it would probably teach them to walk to school by another route.
...and move on. nm
s
Please get over this guy and move on. You need to end
xx
Move on...you said yourself...
you don't feel anything for him. Also, anger management is a joke, a bunch of (mostly) guys sitting around discussing their feelings about women and just getting angrier! I had a boyfriend who had to go also, quit after 3 sessions, said he didn't need it either. Took me 8 years to finally say enough was enough. Move on, your life is too short and you deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Let him be a problem for someone else to fret about.
I think you have to move them
I'd make a little nest out of an old towel, handle them as little as possible, put them in the towel and move the towel nest some place more suitable. I've moved a litter already, but the mother cat moved them again, so don't be surprised if where you put them doesn't suit her. Make sure she watches where you put them and try to pet her so your smell is on her as well as the kittens.
Why did she move? Don't tell me she got
NC move
Moved to NC about 10 years ago from Orlando, FL. I love it here but have found the taxes to be awful. I'm wishing now I would have moved to Tennessee or Texas. I live in a small town 40 miles from Charlotte and close to the SC border. Gas in SC is usually 8 to 10 cents per gallon cheaper. I know that most of the graduates from the colleges in Raleigh stay in the area so it must be a nice place to live.
I used that when looking to move
It's a great tool to virtually scope out a neighborhood before bothering oneself to go check out a listing!
Are you sure the roommate wants you to move?
Maybe it is just an idea that his boyfriend had. He really is not the one to tell you the news, it should have been the roommate. So I'm wondering if the roommate even even knows about it, or if the boyfriend is trying to make arrangements to move in on his own.
Some folks just can't stand any confrontation, even what it would have taken for your roommate to tell you about these future plans. If he has never done anything to hurt you before, I would think you could just accept it, and try to maintain your friendship. If he knows about it, and if he agreed to have the boyfriend tell you, he probably just could not think of any other solution to the problem, other than having his boyfriend tell you, because he did not want to be the one to hurt you. He probably wasn't thinking about "friendship etiquette" (i.e. being the one to give you the bad news himself) at all.
I hope you find a nice place to live.
I would not move back, either--sm
It is nice to help and it sounds as though FIL may need it, but with the others there, you would be *caring* for more than just your FIL and that would be too much stress. Perhaps, if it can be afforded, a home care nurse for a while, until he is back up to caring for his own needs. It is up to him to remove the others from his house, but I surely would not move in there...until they were gone...JMO. Good luck
I wish they would move ALL the messages.
Basically, I said try getting an OT to evaluate your work area. I did and it helped a lot.
We had new neighbors move in who
had a similar theory about what was acceptable.
They had a habit walking into their neighbors houses without knocking. My parents were too polite to say anything, so they were clueless that they found it appalling. We didn't normally lock the doors when we were home, but to keep them out, we kids started locking them when everybody was inside, just to befuddle the barging-in neighbors. One time my dad had been working in the yard, and he was doing his usual change out of his work pants at the back door. He had privacy because he would announce he was changing, and close the door at the top of the stairs so that he had closed doors on 3 sides (door to garage, closed back door, closed door into rest of house, and open doorway into the unfinished basement. The clueless new neighborgirl decided to have a visit, came thru the open (big) garage door and opened the door into the house, where my dad stood, crouching with pants around his ankles. Oh the bellow that came out of him!
That new neighborgirl did drop by and barge in quite so often after that ...
Will probably move a few times
I get bored easily and do not like being in the same place for a long time. Been here for 10 years and just waiting for youngest to go to college in 3 years so I can move. I want to move to NYC area for a few years because right now I live in a rural area and am going crazy. After NYC would like to maybe move out West for a while and then maybe back to Eastern seaboard.
Honestly, what I think is you need to move (sm)
I know it sounds drastic but this is your son's wellbeing and future you are talking about. You need to move away from your abusive ridiculous brother-in-law. Your son has no father figure, and his uncle is a big jerk who should be in jail if he slams his kids around. I don't care if you have to rent a crummy apartment somewhere, but I would get my kid the heck out of there and let him know I am 100% on his side and just trying to give him the best future I can because I love him.
The move I remembered most was
that one where they take that foot, perhaps fresh from the litter pan, and pat your sleeping face with it. It's like they know!
Can't seem to move on after divorce
I'm divorced now for quite a few years and have just had absolutely no interest in dating. I have 2 children (older) and bringing men into their lives in any capacity has never sat right with me, yet I'm lonely. My ex has moved on (in a new relationship) and unfortunately I have to be around them during kid's functions. It's not that I'm pining for my ex. I just miss being a family unit. I sought a little counseling but it didn't help. I'd appreciate any advice anyone might have who has been in a similar situation.
Before you move to the country
Try animal control. They will usually issue a warning first time second time they will issue a citation..If you have kids the country is a really boring place to grow up...I was out in the country until my divorce and moved into a great neighborhood with lots of kids...Best thing I ever did for my kids and myself..
Have you ever just wanted to move?...sm
Have things ever gotten so fustrating dealing with the same ole $hit so much from the same people that you said gosh, I would love to just pack up and move far away. If I had the money to move I know I would. Am I the only one?
I would love to live in Pennslyvania or Virginia.
I have learned to move on.
I gave both my kids everything including all the love I could, taught them the right way to treat people, cherished them beyond belief, worked hard to give them what they needed growing up (just me raising them, divorced). In talking with DH yesterday I really do not feel that either 1 of the kids loves me like they should. I do not see nor talk with my son now due to a falling out we had in 2005 and my girl, well she is a me type, all about her. If you cannot change things, just learn how to live with them the way they are or wish them well in their lives.
It could also just be a story to make the move look bad.
nm
Cut your losses, keep it cordial, and move on.
x
Maybe it is time to cut your losses and move on?
I had a friend such as that and finally just had to quit being such a good friend to her. My friend was literally sucking the life from me with her endless problems and drama, AND she was not there for me when I needed someone. Best of luck...
Did you grow up in 1 town or move...sm
and if you moved, how often and are you glad you moved? As for me, we moved every other year due to my father's occupation. There were 2 places I was very glad that we moved from and 2 places I would have loved to have stayed, the others were OK. When people ask me where I was raised I tell them "everywhere" because that best summarizes it.
What about you? Do you have a home town?
I move 3 times in my life...
When I was 2, I moved from one small town to another 2 miles apart. From there, my parents built a new house when I was in jr. high in the same town but off of the main street. From there I moved with my husband out side of the same town in a rural area. So, while I have moved, it hasn't been very far.  
Yep, husband been in funk ever since that move.
ja;jd
I'd move to London, England! nm
X
Do you think you'll move at least 1 more time or
s
Just adopt the dog or MOVE. Seriously. What other choices do you have!!?????
nm
My husband refuses to move (sm)
My husband and I bought this house 10 years ago - it is almost 50 years old. We talked about our intentions of remodeling - I didn't know he meant over a lifetime. We have not even painted all of the rooms yet, much less fixed the sagging floors or termite-eaten pantry. The house is too small for our family now as well, is on very busy road, and there are no children around for my kids to play with. On the positive side it is in a good area and we have a very large yard. I have been asking to move however, since about a year after we bought the place. Instead, he has insisted that we are now here for life. He has built himself a barn, dog pens, chicken coops, etc. and enjoys practicing shooting out in the yard with his hunting dog, when he is home and not out hunting or fishing. He is an educated engineer and has a very good job, and I had no idea that he would end up being such an avid hunter. I met him in another state and he did none of this back then - I dated him for 5 years before we got married, he only hunted about twice a year when he visited his dad. Then we moved back to his home state, NC, and it all spiraled from there. Our yard is full of rolls of wire, chicken pens, stinky dog pens and piles of wood and bricks. Our carport is filled with a camoflauge john boat, rubber waders and about 100 duck decoys. In the freezer are wings from ducks that he uses to practice his dogs with. My children and I would love to just live in a neighborhood and have other people to talk to and for the kids to play with. He says the kids only want to move because they have heard me say I want to move. He told me recently that if I really want to move to go ahead, without him. He will support me and the kids. He hopes to find a woman one day who "will like where I live." I have no say whatsoever and he doesn't even consider my opinion. He says "we can't afford to move" and this place is just the right distance from his job. Yet he asks me to take out a loan to add on to this house. He is willing to spend another $100,000 to add on to a house where no one else wants to live and says it is unfair for him to have to move just because we want to. Yet he will not take the same money (we have lots of equity) and just move us somewhere else. What would you do? Should I just stay here and make the best of it because this is where he wants to live? (I should add, if I want to buy anything to fix up the house, I have to pay for it, and if I have enough money to do that, he wonders why I am not responsible for more of the bills!)
Because I realized it was a bad decision to move here (sm)
I had just had a C-section, we lived in an apartment. He insisted that he do the house hunting. I was at home with my newborn and my c-section recovery. He fell in love with this house and told me all that we were going to do with it. I was worried the road might be too busy but he assured me it was not. I agreed. Then when I realized that I had to have room darkening shades on the windows at night to keep out the car lights and run a fan all night to drown out car noises, and that he wasn't going to fix the termite-eaten pantry or the sagging floor, yeah, I wanted to move. If you call that selfish then you come live here.
why dont you just move to Iran then?
???
you didn't ask them to move....you told them to....
nm
That is exactly what my SO says. Someone will run into you if you dont move faster and I am already
going 10 miles over the speed limit. I always say well why are they running up on top of me. They should not be tailing right behind. I just think men and women drive differently.
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