I would call the counselor out of concern for this child. nm
Posted By: LMT on 2007-12-13
In Reply to: Call the principal as well - mt3D
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I would call the school counselor and
let them know what is going on. They can then contact the family.
Would definitely at least call the child's parents...sm
It may very well be that it is just a little kid is mad and one of those things that are very normal for kids this age to do. You know, my dad's gonna beat up your dad kind of thing. However, the parents need to know that their daughter is threatening violence towards your daughter and using dad as her back up. He may not even own a gun, who knows? I would just politely explain the situation to them and let them know you wanted to work with them so it wouldn't get blown out of proportion at school. If she is just acting in the typical manner, the school still won't see it that way because of so many shootings, and this may cause even more trouble for your family and Maya's. Don't know if you have this in your area, but our schools have the safe schools act, and it is a zero tolerance policy. Statements like that here have gotten kids expelled from school, and they were not allowed back into the public system until an extensive interview with the school administration and psychiatrist and a lot of paper work. Then the discipline is all on their record, even infractions that ended up as no threat.
Absolutely call Child Protective Services sm
11 years old is much too young to be home alone all day, much less with a younger sibling. Even 13 years old is pushing it. Alone, maybe. With a younger sibling, absolutely not.
If it were me, I would call Child Protective Services. You might wait a couple of weeks after the incident you mentioned so it won't be totally obvious that you are the one who called. But this is a bad situation and it is not going to get any better unless someone does something about it.
Good luck!
For a child to be allowed to call a g'mother a ..itch
shows a real lack of upbringing - but not on her part- guess whos?
Child Protective Services needs a call about this situation. This has a big red warning
s
Thanks for your concern, but sm
I disagree with you concerning the medical bill. I have watched enough People's Court and other court shows to know that it doesn't matter if you have insurance or not. If we didn't have insurance, they would be paying the full bill. They're responsible for the full bill, period.
We pay a premium every week to have insurance, and they shouldn't and won't benefit from that.
This is a neighbor who lives down the street from us. They're not friends of ours. Our daughter was friendly with their daughter. We've only been here about a year. They moved in a month before we did.
We have contacted an attorney who will have to help us settle this. These people have very little, if any, remorse. They had their dog out without a leash just a few weeks after this incident next door to our house! I had to ask them twice to put the dog up. My daughter was screaming and crying in the meantime!
I don't think you understand. This was a very traumatic event for my daughter. I didn't want to get too graphic, but the dog had to be pulled off of her hand. She had to run back home with blood dripping from her hand onto the street and sidewalk.
How do you think it's fair for someone to pay $87 for this trauma that their dog inflicted?
We were trying to be the nice neighbors and not sue from the beginning when everyone was telling us to sue. We thought we could work this out. I told the attorney that we want to sue for the maximum amount, including our lost wages.
If I had a dog that did this to another child, I would be devastated and would probably even get rid of the dog. I couldn't look myself in the mirror if I gave their family a check for $87! I think $800 was very reasonable.
This is a real concern
This happened a couple of times in a small town nearby us this week, it seems some perpetrators read the obituaries to see who won't be home since their attending a funeral, then robbing the people blind!
While our neighbor's son Dan was dying at his own place some guy came in and stole the Dan's golf clubs, and his TV.
I was going to attend the funeral, and a friend called me up the very day, and not friendly told me to stay home, and keep an eye on the house. I was kind of irritated with her at the time, but now I understand.
The #1 concern in my life is
my child and what she faces. Sorry, do not have a bleeding heart for your terms of what in years past just deposited in the nearest garbage can.
I can't even deal with these comments. Thx for your concern.
:
If this woman had any real concern...
If this woman really cares for these eight babies, she would give most of them up for adoption. There is no way she can raise this litter along with her other children in a responsible fashion.
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
Read all of this and it seems your main concern
here is at the very end, how do working parents deal with this, not about anything else much. You are in the dark about how parents (myself included) for years past dealt with children when the parents (myself included) worked outside the home. Talk about a mind blower, huh? We had either daycare, babysitters, some had grandparents who watched the children, other family members helped out some. Seems to me your concern is childcare mostly.
Not always, sometimes totally benign. The imbalance is a concern, though. nm
s
Buck stops with you. Your health is your #1 concern.
s
Anytime you feel that internal concern
it's important to follow through. Have him evaluated, perhaps multiple evaluations. You can't go wrong. Either your fears will be set aside, or you can begin early intervention.
I have no experience with autistic children, but I can tell you that my youngest child did many of the things that you list under "red flags". He obsessed over lining things up, particularly cars. In addition, he'd get VERY upset if you disturbed his line. He barely spoke until he was 3 years old. He always seemed distant to us, not wanting or giving hugs, kisses, not interacting very much. I really felt that he had some sort of serious delay. In comparison, his older brother was always very engaging, talkative, learned to read at age 3. We were very concerned about our younger child.
Fast forward a little bit... our younger son had a slow start in school, but by second grade, he was identified as gifted. He eventually came out of his shell, became talkative, and today is a confident, poised young man, quick to smile and hug his mother. He was just offered scholarships to two major universities. He is planning a career in engineering.
Our older son, who grabbed all sorts of attention for being so advanced, is a wonderful young man, too. He's level-headed, respectful, a real man of character at the age of 20. When he entered kindergarten, he was tested at a 3rd grade reading level, and was equally ahead of the curve in all the other academic areas. Teachers loved him. Eh, but all good things come to an end. He always marched to the beat of a different drummer, and he never was motivated by anything external to his own desires. As a result, he was never much for bringing home good grades. "I know the stuff, why must you all ask me to prove it?" He's returning to college today with a smile on his face and once again on academic probation. "Don't worry mom, you know I know this stuff." The odds are, he will most likely pull himself back up to minimum acceptable standards, just as he has all through his school career. I have a collection of failure warnings that spans years. But he's a wonderful human being and a honorable man, and very smart.
My point is, kids do surprise their parents! Good luck to you and your family.
I also have to consider my income - not just whether I enjoy the job; that is my main concern. nm
x
Get him to a counselor.
narcotics anonymous meeting. I have never heard of profuse sweating from marijuana withdrawal. Maybe he was on something else as well. The good thing is he's done with it, but it sounds like he may need some medicine to help him relax, but this would need to be prescribed by a physician.
counselor
You didn't mention if you're going alone or not to counseling, and I wasn't sure by what you wrote. I personally hope you go by yourself first. It may be better that way. Obviously, you'd have much more room to say how your feel, and the counselor wouldn't have the husband "boundary."
I'm glad you're working on yourself. If nothing else, hopefully you can use this as a time to get back to who you may have been prior to the marriage, or at least learn to be more independent again and ENJOY being that way. It's really nice to be able to walk down the street with your head held high and a sparkle in your eye (not to mention the swing in your hips after you lose whatever weight you're talking about).
Please keep us posted. We're all here to help you to the best of abilities...
Counselor
This counselor apparently has "issues" of her own and seems to be in the wrong job. Sounds to me that you are raising your children just fine. 
You should probably see a counselor.
It sounds like his hobbies and your way of thinking are not one in the same. He sounds sort of selfish, but there are always two sides to every story. My Dad used to say if a husband/father finds reasons to stay away from the house then he just doesn't want to be at home. He used to feel this way about the men who always volunteered to work overtime, which in my Dad's mind put another father out of work. He always felt they should hire another man rather than keep these men from their families, but then again maybe these men "just didn't want to go home". It is sad.
You shouldn't have to live this way. Of course your husband doesn't want to divorce because you'd probably get his hunting money.  He sounds selfish and you might want to look into getting your own place and see how he can figure things out.
Might want to go to a counselor
I'd say if you are constantly thinking about food, yes, you might want to seek counseling. You may not smoke or drink, but overeating is self-medicating, too. NOW is the time to get some help, when you are only 15 lbs. overweight. Don't let it get out of hand and then you have 100 lbs. to lose and can't.
God bless you and I wish you all the best with finding a good counselor.
I had a counselor once tell me that too...
and she had met with us both as well. But the psychiatrist who prescribed the stress meds for me met DH and told me that we needed to stop pointing fingers at one another (DH and I) and start enjoying life. So, I parted ways with the counselor and am going to another one after about a year of being gun-shy of counselors. The original counselor who determined there was nothing in this marriage for me or relationship with this man as she put it was not my decision. It is what she said. But after DH and me meeting with the medical doctor psychiatrist, the MD gave advise to find someone else as a counselor and get a second opinion. He suggested that a lot was I was taking life and problems too seriously and we all needed cognitive thinking help in this house, to deal with stress. He said it was situational our problems and once we started the cognitive thinking, that is learning ways to cope with hard times, we could finally enjoy the happiness life has to give. I think it would be worth your while to get a second opinion if you have doubts about leaving, as long as you are safe in your situation. If there, however, is domestic violence physical or verbal abuse, that is a totally different story, you need advise from the local domestic violence hotline which can determine if you need to get out right away. I do not know your situation and do not want to send you the wrong way. If you are safe, then I suggest going to someone else and weigh the options of counseling for couples, and other things like cognitive training. If it is unsafe, then do call 911 or domestic violence hotline and don't waste time, do leave. Remember divorce is expensive, painful, and difficult to get over. You can do it if it is the right thing to do, we all survive these things. But if the marriage is safe, perhaps it would be less expensive and less stressful for you both to consider working on finding the love you had but perhaps got lost along the way in the hard times. Good luck to you whatever you decide!
I had a counselor once tell me that too...
and she had met with us both as well. But the psychiatrist who prescribed the stress meds for me met DH and told me that we needed to stop pointing fingers at one another (DH and I) and start enjoying life. So, I parted ways with the counselor and am going to another one after about a year of being gun-shy of counselors. The original counselor who determined there was nothing in this marriage for me or relationship with this man as she put it was not my decision. It is what she said. But after DH and me meeting with the medical doctor psychiatrist, the MD gave advise to find someone else as a counselor and get a second opinion. He suggested that a lot was I was taking life and problems too seriously and we all needed cognitive thinking help in this house, to deal with stress. He said it was situational our problems and once we started the cognitive thinking, that is learning ways to cope with hard times, we could finally enjoy the happiness life has to give. I think it would be worth your while to get a second opinion if you have doubts about leaving, as long as you are safe in your situation. If there, however, is domestic violence physical or verbal abuse, that is a totally different story, you need advise from the local domestic violence hotline which can determine if you need to get out right away. I do not know your situation and do not want to send you the wrong way. If you are safe, then I suggest going to someone else and weigh the options of counseling for couples, and other things like cognitive training. If it is unsafe, then do call 911 or domestic violence hotline and don't waste time, do leave. Remember divorce is expensive, painful, and difficult to get over. You can do it if it is the right thing to do, we all survive these things. But if the marriage is safe, perhaps it would be less expensive and less stressful for you both to consider working on finding the love you had but perhaps got lost along the way in the hard times. Good luck to you whatever you decide!
Try another counselor
I really think you need to talk to someone else. Like others have pointed out, there are very few, if any, fairy-tale marriages. And it certainly isn't just about changing your hub. Your indifference is a symptom of your own feelings and you will very likely be just as depressed and indifferent after the divorce, only this time you'll be alone.
I think you need a new counselor. nm
nm
Oh, sorry, misunderstood. Listed under social hx, no mention of a health concern. (NM)
x
Seek out a counselor.
school counselor
That's beyond the pail for all of the people at this school. I'm really sorry you have to endure this. It sounds like you don't have the option here, but this is clearly why school vouchers are so important so parents can be "pro choice" about their kids' education. Rest assured, it all comes down to the NEA, who is drunk with power.
O'Reilly Factor had a perfect example of this on Monday's show in the "Is it Legal" segment about how ridiculous schools have gotten. You should be able to open it up on the link below.
Good luck to you. Hold on to your core beliefs and continut to "do the right thing."
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I would get him into counselor ASAP
bb
School counselor defensive?
I really need some input here. My family recently moved back to our original house because we could not sell it. The school they were zoned for before we moved back seemed okay, the children thought it was fine. We thought we would wait until the year was over before going back to the original school in our neighborhood so they would not flip flop.
My little boy who is 7 recently had problems with a reading group teacher who wanted him to be in a play. It was a big part. He is shy and I did not hear of his fear until they were into practicing. She said either do the play or get a zero. He asked if he could make up the grade. She told him to do a book report at the library (this is second grade). None of the children in the reading group were explained how to do this book report even my daughter who is in the same group told me she had to figure it our herself. My little boy did not know what to do. He was afraid to ask her again as one other time he asked for instructions she was very abrupt and did not answer him. So, I contacted his home room teacher to resolve it, as the reading teacher was not available (for personal reasons). The principal tried to arrange a meeting but again, this teacher was unavailable, and I finally received a phone call (she left a message) from her late Sunday night she was busy and could not get back to me and she would not be in for a week.
Week goes by, my little boy is okay but issue still not resolved. Top it off some kids were teasing him and told an older girl in the glass that he liked her. She sat down at lunch and told him she did not like him right to his face. Ever since, he has not been dealing with things well. He has gotten sick before school from anxiety, etc. I spoke 3 times with his home room teacher, and all she could do is say, "I'm sorry, I don't know what to do, the counselor is busy today."
On top of this, my little 8 year old girl's teacher constantly gives her tardies for being 1 minute late (I go to the office to get a pass but she refuses to call them excused). We drive 40 minutes, it has been foggy and one time I had a flat tire. My husband informed the office of this.
With all of this idiocy we decided to put the kids back in the original school here by the house and as I went into the office to let them know, the counselor of the school had to meet with me, urgently. She lit into me big time, saying I coddle my son and if I kept doing so he would be come effeminate (sp?). She also said that I am teaching my daughter to be critical of her teacher by saying there is something wrong with being 1 minute late. I said there were reasons for being 1 minute late and my husband told the teacher and the office. The counselor said, "set your watch back so that will take care of it and you will be early.",
This counselor continued to say that I was not parenting my son and daughter correctly and that she was livid that I would encourage a crush that my son was only 7 and I was not being responsible. I said I did not even know about this crush and that I thought the girl was rude even saying that to his face after he never even told her it was a rumor!
I left the office feeling horrible as she indicated I was "a bad parent," I am not kidding. My band says she just was upset because we were leaving and there were issues not resolved correcdtly by her staff.
If you got this far reading this I appreciate it. Thanks for listening. But really, is my instinct right that this "counselor" was out of line, saying my son is going to be effeminate and my daughter critical? Made me feel about 2 inches tall, but I did not let her know that. Nor will I tell the children. Feedback on this would be highly appreciated. If I could I'd give you a copay for listening. Thanks in advance.
If you've been to a counselor who suggests
My husband and I are in counseling and she has never once suggested counseling, even in the beginning when I felt like you, just giving up, unloved, etc. I am amazed at how far we have come during our counseling and we're not done yet. We have 3 kids, ages 21, 18, and 9...they are the reason we went to counseling in the first place. Divorce is a horrible thing to do to children. For counseling to work, you both have to put your whole heart and soul into it. The counselor is there to do what you want and if you say you want to save your marriage, then that's what they are supposed to try to help you do. Please find another counselor and try again. It is worth saving...God bless...I'll be praying for you!
First, go to Alanon. Second, maybe speak to a counselor sm
about your feelings. If he truly does change, is there anything that would make the marriage worth salvaging?
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
Have you spoken with a counselor, therapist, or your minister?
It would probably help if you could express your feelings out loud and get some feedback from someone who is trained to deal with emotional dilemmas like you are experiencing. I would strongly encourage it, especially since you have had thoughts of suicide.
Sometimes it takes a little while to find the right "fit" in a therapist or counselor. If the first one doesn't seem to be helping, try someone else.
I had similar feelings when my son was finishing up high school and getting ready to go on to college. The so-called "empty nest syndrome," I guess. But there are a lot of components to it. It's like redefining yourself as a person, because for so long you have been meeting everyone else's needs, and now you are starting to realize that you have needs of your own.
So what you need to figure out is what fulfills you as a person. What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Literally. Five years from now, what would you like to be doing? When you figure that out, start figuring out how to make it happen.
The best of luck to you, and please feel free to email me if you like. I'm still working on some aspects of my "mid-life crisis," but I have worked through a lot of it. I would be happy to provide a sympathetic ear.
Oh, this gave me high BP!! How dare a school counselor......sm
Take it into HIS hands to pull the girl and administer any kind of test at all, he does not have the legal right. He SHOULD have quietly contacted the girl's parents, told them about the rumor, and then SHUT UP, made himself available for counseling, but leaving parenting/medical matters to the parents, where they belong. If this were my own daughter, I fear I would be so enraged by this type of arrogant, stupid, unprofessional, illegal, and disresepctul acivity that I would become a one-woman vasectomy machine, the hard way. Talk about emotional distress?? That poor young girl and her parents. I can remember my days in high school in the early-mid 70s, parents were brought in and respected. OMG, this kind of "rumor" went around every time some nasty girl had a "fight" with another girl, they would have been hiring buses to drag these girls out....truly sickening situation, I hope this young lady is okay now, and has healed emotionally from it all, and thank God it was not true at all, for her sake, poor thing!
Doesn't sound very joyful. Find someone to talk to, counselor, clergy,
xx
Yes, with my second child.
He is now 13 and has never had any problems. Just pray, God will work it all out for you and I will keep you in my prayers also.
Tell me a little about your child, please
Thanks.
Thank God. Having your child taken would be the
.
As a child...
I never sucked my thumb and never had a pacifier. I had crowding of teeth as an adult because of wisdom teeth pushing on them. It really is the size/shape of your mouth/palate that determines crooked teeth, and that is determined by genetics.
More than one child
We were planning on only having one child, but 10 years later (she's almost 4 now) we did have a second one which I of course don't regret for a minute. The only thing I can say is don't listen to those that say you have to have a second child. That's all I heard for years. How can yo just have one, and on and on. It's nobody's business but you and your husband.
Yes, have gone since I was a child.
My kids also go, ages 20, 17 and 15. It fills my spiritual tank for the week and our pastor is so wonderful and uplifting and we have a fabulous congregation. I don't feel right if I miss a week.
No H is an only child LOL.
That is probably what the problem is too. No other children to dote on.
A dog is not a child and has different
needs from a child. But even a child is put in a bassinet to sleep in when they are small to control how much they roll around. Then later they are put in a crib. Is that a cage for you too? Or do you put the child on a full-size mattress and hope for the best? No, you carefully listen to all the rules about safe mattresses for infants and how soon pillows can be used and what position is safest for an infant.
For dogs, you need to get to know them before you give them free reign of the house. Otherwise they might get into something we didn't think of to put up and die. This dog is in the age range of 12-18 months. We can already tell he is inquisitive. We don't know how much time he has spent in a house because he was abandoned at the shelter. We will observe him and train him and grant him more freedoms as he proves himself ready.
Dogs in the wild use dens. You are misinformed, probably by PETA folks who would have you release your Yorkshire terrier to the wild to fend for itself if they had their druthers.
I was 29, he's my only child
before I had him I had two miscarriages in the same year (when I was 28). He is almost 13. I'm in downstate NY and at his school school (it's a Catholic school) many of his classmates' parents are at least as old as I am. Hope to get married soon but probably too late for another..
of course he is my child
I have his age wrong though. He is 31. How on earth can I or should I stop him from stating his own opinion? It is certainly not unusual for an 18-year-old male to use the word, even when talking about his evil GM. He was 18 when dear G'ma died. I'm telling you, the woman was evil, evil, evil!!!! Even my ex-DH (is there such a thing) didn't like her. The only reason my older son liked her was because he was the first grandchild and she worshipped him. When my SIL had 2 kids, they were okay for a while, then she didn't want to mess with them either. She liked dogs and cats more than people. And, by the way, I am really relating to all of you out there who go to your MIL's for all the holidays and not your mom's. I did that also, because I dearly loved my FIL and my SIL, BIL, etc. If I had it to do over again, I think I would have shared a little more. My mom is only 70, but no one is promised tomorrow. We do all holidays together now.
Right - I don't think they should take the child because (sm)
no matter what, children love their parents and would be traumatized to be taken away from them, so unless they are being terribly mistreated, I don't think they should ever be taken. Children who go thru life in foster homes are rarely ever happy. But Social Services could go in and help them get things cleaned up if that is why. It may not be, but in my case that was the problem. I eventually at about age 11 or 12 went out and bought bug spray and sprayed my hair and brushes and sprayed my PILLOW regularly to keep the bugs away. I am sure that was horrible for my health but I was desperate.
Because he's still YOUR CHILD, and he still needs to know he is welcome. nm
x
child with SVT. sm
Hi. My 16-year-old son is suspicious for SVT. Anyone else experience this? I had made an appointment for March, and now the doc is calling me and wants to see my son next week. He has already had an echo and an event monitor. Don't know if I should be freaked out or not.
Yes, first child....nm
xx
Would you have said anything about this child?
I was at a very big market (international) this morning and as I exited the lunch room to retrieve my cart, saw a very young child alone in a cart with no one around. I stood there not moving for several minutes wondering where a parent might be. I could not even see a person in front or back of him that seemed to be paying attention to this child (probably around 3 or 4 years of age). The serving line in front does have glass so I could see the people buying their lunches. Finally I noticed a man that was looking around frequently at the child and finally he got through the line and came and picked the child up. I approached him to say how it is so easy for a person to snatch his child (John Walsh's on AMW had his young child snatched and killed in similar, only taking a second) and this man looked annoyed and said thank you for your thoughts and hurried away. Clearly child endangerment here but would you have said anything or just let it go?
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