I would also look up stories of teenage car accidents (sm)

• What would you do? - sm - dizzi
  • Get her professional help fast. Maybe family counseling. SM - Cece
  • Have you spoken with your religious advisor? - kde
    • My ex's stepdaughter had same problem. sm - xx
  • Idea for possible consequence - jss
  • this is long - justcurious
  • Wow - that's awful. I am so sorry you are going through that. sm - MeMT
    • I have told her all that. She does not care at this time. - dizzi
      • I am so sorry. You are going to have to get really tough it looks like nm - MeMT
    • I would also look up stories of teenage car accidents (sm) - MeMT
  • If I suspected that my child was being - nm
    • sm - dizzi
      • do not feel guilty - cjyt
      • I think you do have to go all out. A therapist and drug screen would be first priority nm - Just me
      • Well, the other thing that you have to - nm
  • Take her to your PCP now before it's too late - and have them do a drug screen.
    • I agree - Old part-timer

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As soon as I got Walter home, the very second we got out of the car I put him down in the yard where I wanted his potty place to be and he peed immediately.  Then I put him on a schedule where I religously put him in the potty place as soon as he woke up from a nap, about 15-20 minutes after eating, and before we went to bed.  I also kept an eagle eye on him almost consistently for the first week or so (not hard because he was so cute)... he stayed on a dog bed in my office when I was working and the instant he started sniffing at anything I picked him up and took him to the potty place... a couple times I was running with him and he started to dribble before I got there.  Sniffing means he is looking for a place to go!  Make no bones about it, he is not doing anything else! 

As far as pooing, puppies go pretty consistently about a half hour after eating.  They have really tiny bladders so you can count on this.  No matter what I was doing we went outside at that time.  Whever I heard a tiny whine I take him to potty place.  I figured he had a belly ache just like a baby might and usually he would go number two.  The few times he did poo in the house was my fault.  I ignored the whining or was not paying attention.  I swear to you... Walter has never ever ever peed in my house.  But to be honest, when he was a puppy whenever I brought him to visit another house he almost instantly peed out of nerves.  So embarrassing.  When I realized he did that I had him meet my friends outside of their homes!  He would wiggle in delight but pee. 

But for the first few weeks, I never left this dog alone at all and my big priority was to get him housebroken asap.  You may not have that option if you have to leave for work or something.  Walter went with me on errands and whenever I let him out of the car he would pee.  So he also loves riding in the truck because he did it so much. 

When I got Walter he was a little under 6 weeks old... pretty young.  So I think I became his mom pretty quick and he was pretty moldable.  I have made plenty of mistake, though, like letting him sleep on my bed and now he is 120 pounds and still does that.  I don't know too much about puppy pads, but I would think that is still encouraging the dogs to pee in the house.  Good luck! 

1.  Driver's education/training classes if required in a state (ours mandates it) and it's not available as part of the public school curriculum?  The price is $325 for the 40 hour course if taken through one of the state approved places and includes 6 hours of hands-on driving experience and 34 hours of classroom instruction. 

2.  The cost of car insurance and gas?

My husband & I are considering for item #1 having our almost 15-year-old pay for half the course as she does have the money in the bank and makes money babysitting, but haven't totally decided on this.  We know that if we ask her what she thinks about it she'll respond that she wants us to pay for it because she likes to spend her money on music.  We do pay $100 a month for her to have guitar lessons which began this past summer.   For item #2 we do agree that she should pay for the insurance/gas when she gets her permanent license.  Some of the parents in our area pay for this for their kids and others either have them pay all or part of it.  Our rules for driving once she turns 16 is that she will have to keep her grades up to a B average or higher, have a part-time job and if she slacks on either then the keys are taken away.  She isn't involved in extracurricular activities after school so there's no reason why she couldn't work a few hours a week during the school year to cover these costs.   We do have a good dependable car for her to drive (1992 Cougar with low mileage) so at least there's wheels for her to travel on.

What's your opinion?

Ok, I was out walking this morning and these 2 teenage (middle school) boys starting yelling things at me as I walked by!! At first, I couldn't tell what they were saying or who they were directing it to because I had my headphones on, but after a while I realized they were speaking to me!! One of the boys was saying MOOOO and I couldn't tell what the other one was saying. I just ignored them and kept walking, as I know they were being stupid boys (especially since I'm not overweight), but I would really like some advice or great comebacks to tell these losers the next time they try something like this. Obviously, I would love to just spray them with pepper spray or kick them where it hurts, but I don't want to go to jail :) I really wish all parents would teach their boys how to treat a woman, so things like this wouldn't happen!!!!

By the way, my husband is out of town for another month, so I can't send him over to the bus stop to have a "talk" with them!

I don't know if this is too "harsh" for your daughter, but have you thought about showing her the results of drinking and/or driving?  I drank A LOT in high school, starting around 15 when my mom got sick and continued daily drinking through graduation and then some.  Did my fair share of drinking and driving or riding in cars with drivers who drank, thinking that nothing would ever happen.  My sister who was 5 years older than me died from drinking and driving when I was 18, and to "show" me and my teenage cousins the consequences, we went with my uncle to see her car that had not been cleaned after the wreck (nasty, and I still see it to this day which is about 18 years later)...she was in a little 4-door car and fell asleep and drove underneath an 18-wheeler.  That sight was burned into my brain and I never forgot what drinking and driving could do, that we weren't invincible. 

I did hear of a school that was doing "shock presentations" to students, arranging to have 10 or so students missing from classes for the day, then the other students were told that they were killed in accidents from drinking.  While that is a bit extreme, I really think that shock works best on teenagers as I always thought I knew best and that nothing would ever happen. 

By Rob Stein
updated 7:20 a.m. CT, Mon., Dec. 29, 2008
Teenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do, according to a study released today.

The new analysis of data from a large federal survey found that more than half of youths became sexually active before marriage regardless of whether they had taken a "virginity pledge," but that the percentage who took precautions against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases was 10 points lower for pledgers than for non-pledgers.

"Taking a pledge doesn't seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior," said Janet E. Rosenbaum of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, whose report appears in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics. "But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking."

The study is the latest in a series that have raised questions about programs that focus on encouraging abstinence until marriage, including those that specifically ask students to publicly declare their intention to remain virgins. The new analysis, however, goes beyond earlier analyses by focusing on teens who had similar values about sex and other issues before they took a virginity pledge. "Previous studies would compare a mixture of apples and oranges," Rosenbaum said. "I tried to pull out the apples and compare only the apples to other apples."
The findings are reigniting the debate about the effectiveness of abstinence-focused sexual education just as Congress and the new Obama administration are about to reconsider the more than $176 million in annual funding for such programs. "This study again raises the issue of why the federal government is continuing to invest in abstinence-only programs," said Sarah Brown of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. "What have we gained if we only encourage young people to delay sex until they are older, but then when they do become sexually active — and most do well before marriage — they don't protect themselves or their partners?"
'Get real about sex education' James Wagoner of the advocacy group Advocates for Youth agreed: "The Democratic Congress needs to get its head out of the sand and get real about sex education in America." Proponents of such programs, however, dismissed the study as flawed and argued that programs that focus on abstinence go much further than simply asking youths to make a one-time promise to remain virgins. "It is remarkable that an author who employs rigorous research methodology would then compromise those standards by making wild, ideologically tainted and inaccurate analysis regarding the content of abstinence education programs," said Valerie Huber of the National Abstinence Education Association. Rosenbaum analyzed data collected by the federal government's National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, which gathered detailed information from a representative sample of about 11,000 students in grades seven through 12 in 1995, 1996 and 2001.

Although researchers have analyzed data from that survey before to examine abstinence education programs, the new study is the first to use a more stringent method to account for other factors that could influence the teens' behavior, such as their attitudes about sex before they took the pledge.

100 variables

Rosenbaum focused on about 3,400 students who had not had sex or taken a virginity pledge in 1995. She compared 289 students who were 17 years old on average in 1996, when they took a virginity pledge, with 645 who did not take a pledge but were otherwise similar. She based that judgment on about 100 variables, including their attitudes and their parents' attitudes about sex and their perception of their friends' attitudes about sex and birth control.

"This study came about because somebody who decides to take a virginity pledge tends to be different from the average American teenager. The pledgers tend to be more religious. They tend to be more conservative. They tend to be less positive about sex. There are some striking differences," Rosenbaum said. "So comparing pledgers to all non-pledgers doesn't make a lot of sense."

By 2001, Rosenbaum found, 82 percent of those who had taken a pledge had retracted their promises, and there was no significant difference in the proportion of students in both groups who had engaged in any type of sexual activity, including giving or receiving oral sex, vaginal intercourse, the age at which they first had sex, or their number of sexual partners. More than half of both groups had engaged in various types of sexual activity, had an average of about three sexual partners and had had sex for the first time by age 21 even if they were unmarried.

"It seems that pledgers aren't really internalizing the pledge," Rosenbaum said. "Participating in a program doesn't appear to be motivating them to change their behavior. It seems like abstinence has to come from an individual conviction rather than participating in a program."

'Negative views about condoms'

While there was no difference in the rate of sexually transmitted diseases in the two groups, the percentage of students who reported condom use was about 10 points lower for those who had taken the pledge, and they were about 6 percentage points less likely to use any form of contraception. For example, about 24 percent of those who had taken a pledge said they always used a condom, compared with about 34 percent of those who had not.
Rosenbaum attributed the difference to what youths learn about condoms in abstinence-focused programs.
"There's been a lot of work that has found that teenagers who take part in abstinence-only education have more negative views about condoms," she said. "They tend not to give accurate information about condoms and birth control." But Huber disputed that charge.

"Abstinence education programs provide accurate information on the level of protection offered through the typical use of condoms and contraception," she said. "Students understand that while condoms may reduce the risk of infection and/or pregnancy, they do not remove the risk."

saying the word F**k many times during your conversation does not make you sound cool or grown up.

From the lady who is going to slap you silly

about angels, too.  I have never "seen" angels, but I have often seen them at work.  I thank the Lord for providing protection through them.  Whenever I have a "near-miss" I thank the Lord. 

My husband told me once when he was trying to change lanes, the steering wheel pulled itself right back so he couldn't.  There was a car in his blind spot!   

I remember once one of my kids running down the sidewalk and fell.  From where I stood it looked like he cracked his head on the step in front of him.  I cringed, but when I got to him he was fine.  I just know an angel put his hand between the step and his precious head. 

My mom was driving one day and didn't see that the intersection was icy.  She tried to stop but started sliding.  She slid into the path of an oncoming car.  She closed her eyes and braced for impact but...nothing.  She opened her eyes and the car was past her.  She said there was no way he could have missed her. 

These are angel stories. 

Demons are fallen angels.  They chose to worship Satan.  They exist to torment and cause people anguish.  Angels exist to praise God and they also provide divine intervention and protection for people. 

If your husband nails a wooden duck and wooden dog that your children painted to your back door (underneath the wooden back-to-back swans painted black that his mother made for you.....

(yep, my back door) haha!  - anyone else have a redneck family member(s)? Did anyone marry a redneck they didn't realize was one beforehand?

I inadvertently posted for this on the Autoimmune Board this AM and admin hasn't switched it over yet, but I did get 2 nice answers on there, so I will try on the "correct" board now. I really need to hear from some people who have some positive feedback about their MIL's. I guess it was a freudian slip that I did it there because I am in a lot of pain every day. I try very hard to be a good MIL but sometimes I get a lot of flack and I blame it on the TV shows, movies and anything else that will generate big bucks from this campaign. I am a little tired of it all and really am making a concentrated effort to put together something positive about mothers-in-law in general, or step-mothers-in-law. Jeez, we deserve a break sometimes, dontcha think?? My MIL taught me how to drive, my hubby never would have as he kind of likes me to depend on him. Albeit, she may have had an ulterior motive, to get me out to work (which I did) but at least she let me crash her car a few times. Does anyone out there have anything POSITIVE to say about their MIL? I'd really like to hear it. I could use a boost! Thanks

PS: I've done a lot, free babysitting, helping buy a house, lots of things, but I'm still "his mother" and can't seem to do anything right. I never forget a special occasion and try to be thoughtful. Gosh, I'm tired! Can't we drop the stigmata of Monster-In-Law? Please say something nice.

hope that people will take the initiative and send letters to their representatives encouraging more uniform laws from state to state to make it harder for these sex offenders to stay below the radar. 

My 3 letters are in the mailbox now.  I just used the format on Oprah.com, printed the addresses off, taped them to the envelope and sent them off.  Even doing something small can make a big change, and it makes you feel good.  The laws need to be MUCH tougher for these sex offenders. 

I also think rape should be considered assault with a weapon, because they are using a part of their bodies as a weapon to injure another, and maybe if they charged them with that they would serve longer sentences.  Just an idea.

I wanted reach through my computer, grab that ole Warren Jeffs and ring his darn neck myself.  I was appalled at how many people fall for this.  I can understand if they were born into it not knowing any better, but older people that have been out and about and getting into it just slays me.  I guess it is like one of the girls interviewed said, it is more about control and power over another than sex.  She was talking about how Jeffs pulled some poor woman's braids, twisting it so hard that she fell to her knees and begged for mercy and he said "men, this is how you want your wives."  It just slays me how people can fall for Warren Jeffs, David Koresh, Charles Manson etc., hook, line and sinker. I know there is more out there.  These are just the ones who have been caught. 

There's a local news story about an 18 year old star athlete who's been accused of rape by a 16 year old. He'd been accepted at a local university, who now is saying they won't hold a spot for him on the football team until the matter is resolved.

If it turns out to be untrue, chances are most people won't hear that tidbit. All they'll remember is the bad stuff. That's a shame.