I was divorced when my girls were 3 and 8. My
Posted By: JH on 2008-03-24
In Reply to: Stay together for the children - yes or no? (sm) - Carolina MT
oldest daughter tells me that all she could remember was me crying and being upset all the time and how much better it was to have a calm household after we separated. They are now 18 and 13 and seem to be doing fine.
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My mom divorced him because he was ...sm
cheating with this girlfriend, and he went so far as to get dressed at night and actually go out like a teenager not coming home till midnight or so. He left my mama sitting in the recliner crying many nights. Then knowing she had to get up at 6 am for work he would wake her up to open the door for him cause he lost his key. He was very inconsiderate. That is why she divorced him.
So, since he's divorced twice, do we assume that it
Isn't there such a thing as he divorced the wives? Are you catching my drift? I guess we automatically assume it was "his" fault, and never the woman's? Just a thought. I say just take it slow, but it is so much fun to have that initial spark, and if it continues, then great. 
Unfortunately, when we divorced I was completely sm
out of my mind. It is legal because it states that he has the right to make any decision and can change his mind at any time since he has physical custody. He has been very kind in the past to allow my son to spend the entire summer with us. This will be the first summer in 7 years that we have not seen him. Plus, we send for him throughout the year during holidays and spring breaks. He can do this and can make this decision.
I could get a lawyer and amend the agreement we have, but then it will get so ugly (again) and complicated and I don't ever want to go through that ever again. He still has emotional wounds from our divorce (I've since moved on and remarried), so if he wanted to be ugly he can. What's to say my husband and I hire a lawyer in his state, go to court, and then I end up losing even the right to see my son? That can happen, especially since he has not lived with us ever. Thanks for your suggestion, though.
My parents divorced when I was 10. sm
I could write a book. My father wanted the divorce but my mother did not. As an adult I can honestly see why my father was so unhappy. At the age of 10 all I heard was my mother crying all the time. I never restented my father for the divorce, he was a much better father after the divorce. My mother had to really fight a lot of demons after the divorce but I honestly don't think the divorce was the only reason for her problems. I have been happily married for 20 years now, but my older brother is a whole nother story. His marriage lasted 14 years (13 years too long). Part of the reason she stayed was becuase of the children and he was not a great dad by any means. He had terrible anger problems and I honestly don't know if our parents divorce (he was 13 at the time) had anything to do with this. Looking back he was a bit of a bully as long as I can remember, so I don't think it was the divorce that caused his problems. It is hard to believe that we were raised by the same parents and step-mother. You don't say how old your kids are, and although I didn't want them to divorce, I do remember the screaming and yelling that took place, and that is something I just could not subject my children to. Feel free to e-mail if you want to talk.
Yes to all your questions. I was divorced at SM
45, after a 27 year marriage from hades. Best thing I ever did. I have never been happier.
I have met the love of my life. The unhappy person now is the woman who had the affair with my ex-husband and is now married to him. Everyone and I mean everyone, believes I came out ahead. That's probably true, considering I got half his money.
Believe me, YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD. The best years are ahead of you. I can promise you that.
P.S. as you are divorced, it is YOU who can choose
with whom of your in-laws your children have contact.
She is in the same boat, married and divorced twice - sm
I would not make any assumptions regarding either party. Maybe his wives cheated, maybe he did, maybe no one did and they just grew apart; maybe her husband cheated, maybe she did, maybe her DHs (both of them) woke up one day and said hey I don't want to be married anymore, lots of fish in the sea. Who knows. She will find out as she gets to know him better if he is a jerk or not (i.e. if he was the root cause of his divorce or not). My DH was divorced (first marriage and hopefully only for me) and granted I know things now that I did not know then, but she did leave him and divorce him but I see some of the reasons now and know he was not totally innocent in the whole thing, but I also know there was a lot more to it. I don't think it is just one person's "fault" for a divorce, they both contribute, generally one more than the other but both people are definitely involved (it is their marriage). I say have fun, and see where it goes, just don't get all lovey dovey and become blind, try to be smart at the same time.
Because not all divorced people hate each other
They had a life together and that is a fact. My ex and I still talk, he and his first ex-wife talked and she and I are friends. They did have kids together and no I was never jealous. He cheated, we went through an ugly divorce - no kids - but had 22+ years together and so now we talk. He was my best friend for a long time and that is the part I missed. Would I marry him again -- no, is there anyting romantic - no but we do talk. So I guess it is something you will have to accept or move on. Not everyone comes out of a divorce bitter enemies. I am closer to my stepchildren than he is as their father.
yes, she and Jerry divorced but remarried....
Divorced Moms - How did you know it was time? (sm)
I am in an unhappy marriage, but I am scared to leave. I have insurance through my husband because I am an IC and I have all these fears - what if my job phases out? what if I injure my hands, what if I get sick, how will I take care of my kids. How did you know it was time?? Is it better now>
I've been divorced now for 5 years and have....sm
recently started dating, if you want to call it that. Things seem to be a lot different now when it comes to "relationships." There are 2 men that I am interested in and 1 of these men is more interested in me than the other one. Do I follow my heart or do I follow my head? They both have positives and negatives, as we all do. I just don't want to make a bad decision that I may later regret. I know this is not a lot of info but I have heard "follow your head" and I've also heard "follow your heart, no matter where the road may lead." Help!!!
Parents gettting divorced...sm
My parents are in their fifties and are getting a divorce because my dad is running around. Well she filed for divorce and he would not get out the house. He said until the divorce was final he had the right to stay, which is true actually. She can't force him to leave. At the beginnning of the divorce he agreed to give her the house and 3 acres and he would just take the other additional 7 acres. Well he has been told for months he better be finding a place to live but he refused to even look. He doesn't want to leave the house. Now the papers will be final next week and mama said you are leaving. He says he can't afford to get a place right now. She says well you have been knowing for months you should have planned ahead. She doesn't know what to do. It is like she can't get rid of him. He wants to do what he wants to do and have another woman and go out every night but he wants to live there and says how can you throw me out with nowhere to go. She said well you have had the opportunity to get a place. And he has had the money. She said he just won't get out. She could have him legally evicted and law officials make him leave but what an awful thing to have to do. But he is headset not to leave.
I would have divorced a long time ago....sm
when my husband had a drug problem. I didn't because my son told me he would not come with me but that he would choose to stay with his dad. He was around 7 years old at the time. I couldn't leave my son. So I didn't leave. He is so close to his daddy. He would pick his dad drugs and all over me any day of the week and that hurt me very bad because I have always been a good mom. So I stayed. I guess God helped me though because my husband quit using drugs miraculously later and we are doing pretty good now.
personally, I don't think that has anything to do with why people get divorced...
Marriage and having a family is sharing in the responsibilities of both taking care of the house and the kids...My husband and I both work and we both take care of the house and the kids...that way we have time to spend with our family, not one person doing chores all day, et cetera...JMO
I am a working divorced mother - I consider anyone (sm)
who works and supports their children to be a single parent. I am just saying that my children are my priority, and I cannot be giving my money to some guy. A single woman with plenty of money and no children to think of might not mind, but I do.
Please talk! Been divorced for a long time
now and I think ignoring things and lack of communication led him to other women and the rest of the story is not important. So many people I have talked to feel that just letting things go without talking let to terminal demise of their marriage. Do something before it escalates. This may have been a perfect opportunity to begin dialog.
Happily divorced 11 years..and still single!
Use your head first. You don't have to settle for the least worst of the two...there are other fish in the sea. :-) I found my standards were WAY too low when I married my ex-hubby. Now they are high and I'm not going to settle for less than I deserve.
I was divorced, did not call myself a single parent
and I worked lots of jobs to make a living, not 1 red cent from the father of my son, never and I bought and made it all myself- I took them around their relatives, they always had a good home, involved in their schooling, the whole 9 yards. I am not responsible for a child turning against their mother for their love of money (the son). Others on her asking what phone call more important than my daughter, well having a phone call with an aunt who is in hospice with metastatic cancer in their late 80s.....
Divorced parents college agreement?
Those of you who are divorced and have children......how did you agree (or how would you agree) to pay for your child's college education? can you please share with me how your agreement is worded in your contract....if you do not want to respond to this post please email me....I am needing help ASAP!!! Thanks in advance....
I am divorced and now on good terms with MIL, but not while we were married! sm
She was very critical, called me every name in the book and kept telling her son I was no good that he belonged in the home I could not PROVIDE FOR HIM, as in the home they could. Umm last time I checked he was an adult too and we were to make a home TOGETHER.
I can remember being sent to the hospital with preterm labor with my daughter. I was scared, I had had to drive my sons to my mom's and then myself to the hospital. My doctor was furious with him. Why did I have to do that? Because SHE needed to go to the doctor about her 'rrhoids and her rear end was more important than OUR unborn child!!! Oh and he could have been available sooner, but she wanted to go shoe shopping. She was truly the other woman in my marriage and when anything happened where I truly needed him, he was with her...shopping, taking her to the doctor, driving her to the dentist. He eventually lost a job because all of that. He didn't learn and continued until he finally has not had a full time job since.
What finally bridged the gap was our divorce. He didn't see his kids or pay support because he didn't feel he should have to. BUT I never kept my kids from her, she is their grandmother and they are her only grandchildren. She never forgot a birthday or Christmas and she didn't play favorites like my mom did. I respected her for what I felt was her important role in their lives and she grew to respect me for my that.
What finally did it is the fact that my ex up and remarried. The gal he married has many documented mental health issues (I saw the report her ex had on her, but that is a long story). My MIL tried with wife #2, she really did. Finally, just about the time they married, this gal threatened my MIL's life and hit her in the face hard enough to knock her down! This was done in front of my oldest son and my MIL's boyfriend at the time (FIL had passed on).
From that day on, I was welcome in her home anytime and "that woman" was not. I suddenly became the nicest of her 3 DILs and she told me that herself. Although the kids are grown and I have moved out of state, I send her birthday and Mother's Day cards. I know she regrets the things she said and did, she told me that too. I told her that stuff was all in the past and what really mattered is the here and now.
If your mom and dad just divorced this year, have you ever thought of depression? sm
Maybe your dad is going through a real hard adjustment to his new life and could use a little help or boost from you instead of a cold shoulder. Sounds to me like he might just be in some major depression as his life has had a drastic change. Reach out to him and help him in his time of need. Sure he is an adult, but everyone can walk on hard times with major traumatic events going on in their life and he may just lack desire to care due to his depression.
its better to raise kids in a happy divorced home
Divorced, never considered myself single (?) and bought my own home
years ago - the price was unbelievable, 15,500 and sold it 2 years ago for $165,000. Quite a deal huh?
Sounds likea control freak and a doormat. Friend of mine just divorced after 23 yrs of being the
s
I have K girls too!
My K girls are called
Kayce and Kelly. My other name that is K that I love is the old fashioned Katherine. If I had another daughter I would name her Katherine Rose or Katherine Elizabeth.
I have 2 girls though.....- nm
x
girls
When your daughters ask, answer them at their level. When they are old enough they must to know how to protect themselves...abstinence or steel belted radial rubbers....(Hey, I'm still trying to develop that!) 
Mean Girls!
Go play elsewhere, Boo! You hate guys!
2 girls, 8 and 4..........sm
Okay-
1. 8 and 4 beautiful girls
2. The 8-year-old does have a cell phone, but let me explain 1st. It is a prepaid cell phone. She is allowed allowed to dial certain numbers from this phone. I got it for her for Christmas for various reasons. My mother in-law can't hear well and LOVES to spend time with the kids. When they are they, I like for her to have a way to get ahold of us (grandma is always on the computer for IM, takes up her phone line). Also, this phone is for EMERGENCIES at school. She is a very good kid and has actually only used her phone once with permission to call my mom.
3. The 4-year-old has a TV. It is actually the 8-year-olds, but it is a "princess" tv, which apparently is not for her anymore. She gave it to my 4-year-old. No computer in room, but they do play on Dad's laptop, always with supervision.
4. No set allowance, but they do have chores and must have room clean before they go to friends' houses. 8-year-old takes care of her dog, 4-year-old takes care of the bird.
To All The Girls!
Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hel*l happened. - Cora Harvey Armstrong-
Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shu*t her up with cookies. (Unknown)
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. -Helen Hayes (at 73)-
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. - Janette Barber-
Old age ain't no place for sissies . -Bette Davis-
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen -
If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine-?
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne Barr-
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson-
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt-
When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!
The girls are 7 and 9
Their friends all have the "real" American Dolls and they have read the books so they want the American Girl Dolls that are in the books from the library and catalogs we get in the mail. They have seen the movies too and loved Kit Kittridge and her friend Ruthie so had their eye on them. Very, very expensive toys but they take good care of their things so I hope I can pick somethings up second-hand.
Thank you for all for all of your help.
All girls are different
My daughter started exactly on her 11th birthday, but her good friend started when she was 10. I don't think it's anything to worry about.
I'd let the girls
People will usually be very sympathetic to the girls' feelings and will try to reassure them that the kitten will have a good home. You know your kids best, of course, but I think it helps when they know that the kittens are being adopted by nice, caring people.
Ballet for little girls?
Has anyone had or have their 3-year-old daughter enrolled in ballet class? I'm thinking of doing this, as my daughter constantly asks for it. Do they get anything out of it? I already have dreams of my prima ballerina daughter going onto bigger things, and she's only 3! I'm taking her to check out a class for free this week and will see how it goes. It's only for once a week and then a show they put on in June. Just wondering if anyone has any experiences to share. Thanks so much!
little girls being used as guineapigs for them sux..
and if you don't get my point(s) - perhaps you weren't around for DES/thalidomide.....
Wetnursed only girls
My wet-nurse babies were all girls - and I would breast-feed both mine and the paid clients at the same time - one on one breast and the other on the other - I was paid more as a wet-nurse than as an MT - "laughed all the way to the bank"
yeah, U might be right but 11 y/o girls...sm
are not VISCIOUS!!! Kim Basinger is viscious! She has pumped the daughter with all kinds of unnecessary garbage, as probably as Alec Baldwin too...both of them are using BAD PARENTING.
There is no such thing as a BAD kid....only bad parenting.......
Gilmore Girls Fan
Well basically Rory had a meltdown because she got turned by the New York Times and Chicago Sun Times said they were not hiring. So she called back to the Providence Newspaper and the position was filled. So Loralei and Rory spent some time together so Rory could get cheered up. So anyway went to karaoke bar and Loralei got a little tipsy and Rory asked her to sing so she did and sang I will always love you and Luke walked in and smiled. He also started wearing the baseball cap that Loralei gave him in one of the earlier seasons for Christmas. The show ended with Logan showing up to ask Loralei's permission to ask Rory to marry him which I hope Rory says NO!! Also Lane and Zack, Zack got a lead guitarist gig and is going to go on tour for 2 months. Hope this helps you get your fix for the week ;-)
would rather raise 5 girls than 1 boy..sm
When boys grow up and become men, their *toys* become MUCH more expensive than girls (think boats, cars, motorcycles, ATVs, planes, trains, etc.).
I had such success with my girl that I want more girls *lol*
I have 2 girls and so far so good - sm
they have bad days sure, but so do boys. The people I know with boys note that their kids are always on the go; boys certainly seem to have a lot more energy than girls. But my girls can get whiny from time to time and drive you nuts too, but a friend of mine has 1 son and he can drive her totally nuts too; granted my can play together, he gets bored from time to time. They are well behaved when we go out 90% of the time, and if they act up we leave plain and simple. So they know to act good or else it is their loss. My 8-y/o (9 in August)is just starting to get some slight body hair, my DH is totally dying at the thought of her "growing up". I'm not too worried about the puberty phase and hormones, I never went nuts or told my parents I hated them or acted out, etc. Yeah, I did some stuff they never knew about and I expect mine will too; but I hope I can rub some common sense off on them and give them the tools they need to make good and imformed decisions as they get older. But considering everything we have been through the last 2+ years with my younger one and her kidney cancer, they have turned out very well and with any luck will continue to do so, I'm going to try my best that they don't turn into spoiled brats. We have recently started an allowance of sorts, they don't get it if they work is not done and they also can buy their own games, toys if they want, but not to whine to us if they use up all their money on 1 thing and then want something else. So they are learning to manage their money. My 7-y/o is much better at this, and my 8-y/o is learning this the hard way, but I expect will master this in time. I am just glad they are older now, so much easier when they can be more independent.
If the girls know about it, then I guess it's okay
If not, then no. I grew up with a girl whose father snooped through everything of hers, her room, her handbag, etc. To this day, she has no use for him. So, there you go. Also, I truly believe there are some things you just don't want to know so why go looking?
Now maybe young girls won't look up to her as a
They do this ALL the time, especially girls (sm)
Mine just finished first grade and this type of thing happens at school on a daily basis on the playground, with no parents to intervene. They just go round and round with it - I'm your friend, I'm not your friend, I'm her friend, etc. You did fine - don't even worry about it - it is perpetual!!
And shocking that these were *girls*...sm
Who did this. Usually it's the male of our species that does things like this. But girls are becoming just as violent and aggressive in our society now too. My God.
I have 2 girls with the same "problem"... sm
I have two daughters who have had the same problem... one is now 13 with a size 10-11 women's shoe (depending on the shoe), but when she was in elementary, she was also heads taller than not only the kids in her grade, but the 2 grades ahead of her too!!! :P My other daughter is 10 and wears a women's size 8-1/2, and I think she might outgrow her sister....
Sounds to me like she is just going to be a tall girl... and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.... I think there are a lot more tall girls now than there used to be... and if they are going to be tall, then they need the feet to support it!! :D
Fortunately, there are tons of good shoes out there now in those sizes... I have no problems finding cute shoes for my girls that are age appropriate and fit properly... we love Payless and Famous Footwear! :D
Good luck to you and your daughter... I am sure she is beautiful... and if she feels at all awkward about her height... you can assure her that the other kids WILL eventually catch up! :D
There were 5 Golden Girls
Sophia, of course!!!.....Wise-crackin' momma...she never missed a beat! It's all in the timing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlvmsDta67k
Have him vent to YOU at the end of the day, not the girls.
h
girls fighting
sure did. I can tell you how old they are, old enough to know better, Speaks volumes about the parents is all I can say. They should be tried as adults. All are being held without bond until a hearing sometime today. Hope they get what they deserve and the mother of the girl getting beat up needs to be filing civil suits as well.
Obviously, yes this is just you! These girls have been violated. sm
Let me see.......how many teen CHOOSE to have sex with 40 year olds. I am not really meaning by choice but what is ACCEPTED in their culture/religion. None. I live in the dam bible belt and hate it. I am not religious. I am realistic and this whole case scenario was not even realistic. The State of Texas by returning those children made a HUGE mistake. A cult is a cult is a cult but we should protect the children from these types of situation.
Girls weekend? I'm in....
Those are the best. A new place each time. What fun that would be!
Thank you so much. I am definitely doing this for the girls this Xmas now. nm
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