I totall agree too. I have a 15yo daughter and i would never snoop unless i felt there was reason.
Posted By: LMT on 2007-06-07
In Reply to: I totally agree with you! - Navy Mom
trust is trust. she has build up my trust and given me no reason not to trust her. i'm sorry but i think reading through emails and snooping just goes too far unless you have reason to suspect something. i do glance through myspace occasionally, but would never read every email. i don't even know her passwords. i think if you are at the point you need to read through every email your child does, you need to reevaluate your relationship and parenting skills. bash me if you wish, but don't be too strict or you can push your children the opposite way to where they will never talk to you and have an open relationship with you. trust is simply trust and should be earned. look at an adult relationship. it isn't a very well relationship if you can't have trust. should be the same with children.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
I agree...not selfish at all..we have all felt like that at one time or another..
although some of us probably don't want to admit that...glad she vented to us and not her mother...
I agree. The only reason she is on
is because of those x-rated pics of hers.
I agree and another possible reason --sm
is that if she does not like phone calls when her husband is home, perhaps she feels the same way when her mother is there. Maybe she just wants to spend time with her family, at this point. Time for *friends* will come later, after all the initial recuperation and family adjustment takes place. Eight days is not a long time. Give her the space she needs, respectfully. Don't be jealous, just be a friend.
I agree that is not enough of a reason to zap her ....
Unfortunately, that was just one in a long line of issues from her that day.
She was given another chance anyway.
first of all, I agree you have a reason to be offended
but on the other hand, she may really have been trying to have (what she thought) was an open and genuine conversation with you.
I went through a period after my divorce where I really questioned why guys who slept around were considered studs while gals who did the same were considered *luts. I asked a lot of questions from a lot of people. Doesn't mean I slept around a lot, but I was curious about the thinking behind the idea of how things could be so different when the only difference was gender.
All I'm trying to say is that perhaps in her disjointed way, she was trying to genuinely institage a thoughtful discussion about racial inequality, even though she failed not to offend, but in her own mind thought she was unoffensive. Some people really do ask questions because of genuine curiosity that has been dormant in their own minds even if they do come across as offensive. Just MHO. Doesn't excuse her rudeness by all means, but just a thought to toss about.
I agree with not snooping unless you have reason
to believe something is going on, but like another poster said this really isn't any different than looking at their myspace page. We didn't even do that but other family members did it for us and we did it for them. Found out DS was possibly suicidal. We were dumbfounded. For the first time ever I snooped in his room and found a couple of other very eye-opening things. No drugs or alcohol but a possible eat-disorder. You just don't think about that when it comes to boys.
He lost a classmate earlier in the year to the "choking game". I wonder if his parents had snooped if they would have found something that might have prevented this. And BTW, couldn't stand my Dad as a teenager and now he is truely one of my best friends. Took until I was 20 for the relationship to really start but now at the age of 40 I am what he calls "his little girl".
I agree also...that is the reason for so many foreclosures now...
stupidity...
I just need to vent! My 15yo son is going through a tough time. SM
Lately, my son has been hanging with the wrong crowd -- a crowd known to be into pot and drinking, etc. One of the guys in his group is 23 years old. I have been doing everything in my power to keep him from this group, restricting him to home after school, not letting him leave the house, but he has become rebellious and basically just walks out even when I tell him to stay.
On Friday, I received a call from the local police telling me they had found my son's backpack in the park -- his name was in it -- and inside the backpack was a bong. They said they didn't have enough to charge him with anything because since the pack had been sitting in the park, anybody could have put anything in it. The police office, however, notified the school and the school in turn called me. I immediately jerked him out of school and took him for a drug test which was negative -- thank goodness! Still I'm disturbed by all of this.
I have set him down and told him he is grounded untill further notice and I have come up with a list of who he can hang out with and who he cannot. One of the boys I am allowing him to be friends with has a single mom and she is basically doing the same things I am doing trying to keep him on the straight and narrow. We both communicated very well with each other.
However, over the weekend my sister and brother-in-law involved themselves in my business -- which they do quite a lot especially since I literally live three houses down from them. My brother-in-law absolutely hates me son. He is an jerk to my son every time my son is around. My son cannot stand him either ever since he was 3 years old and my BIL slapped him upside the head when we lived with them. My BIL is a jerk to his own kids, slamming my nephew into walls and choking him, etc. Anyway, my BIL comes to my house with his chest all puffed up saying he did not want my son around his son (my nephew). He basically acted like he was father of the year and started to lecture me on what was wrong with my son. This infuriated me. He even went as far as to say he did not want my son at his house because he thought he would steal from them! My son has never stolen anything from anybody -- EVER!
Before I had a chance to respond my phone rang and he was back in his car and gone. Then he proceeded to talk to the woman whose son I have allowed my son to stay friends with and filled her ear with a bunch of crap and now she is forbidden her son from coming to my house or hanging out with my son.
My sister involved my mother and my mother tells me that my sister didn't want her husband to come to my house and say those things and that she is genuinely worried about my son and that I shouldn't be mad at my sister. Thing is, my sister hasn't called me to talk about it or tell me that she didn't want her husband to do what he did. She has just communicated with my mom and that's it.
Anyway, I've just been so upset about all of this and I've been debating on whether or not I should call my sister and tell her what I think of her husband and to tell her husband to mind his business and stay the heck out of mine.
Thanks for letting me vent!
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
I agree. We are considering our daughter's lives here....
NM
I agree with you totally. This is not about my daughter
the above poster was responding to my question about what happened. I truely think she should have a face to face with the pricipal or superintendant.
I agree PAMT, I also have a teenage daughter
as well as 5 teenage nieces and that is why I asked the poster to elaborate on her post. See mine below.
I agree, paddling is barbaric and, according to your daughter, is ineffective
Even she would rather have it than ISS, thusly restriction of freedom is a greater punishment than pain. I am with you, I don't know why this is still in effect. I also live in the south and have to write a letter every year stating my child is not allowed to be paddled. Believe me he would MUCH rather be paddled than have the Xbox Live and TV taken away from him!!!
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
Well I too have been there,felt that, got OUT : )
x
I know how she felt!
I keep looking behind blinds and checking the windows, etc. I think I will keep looking over my shoulder for quite some time. I just wish I knew how it got in! My step-father got a chuckle out of it, but understands. I asked him tonight if it will ever happen again. He smiled and said, maybe. I said when? He smiled and said . . maybe tonight!!
I felt the same way!
I though the ending was very disappointing! I hope he goes on to write more books about these characters because that will make it worth my while. I read this when it first came out in September. After reading The Quickie, this You've Been Warned left a lot to be desired for sure.
Ha! Most of us have felt that way before, (sm)
but I think there are solutions for everything a dog does.
Cats are the really tricky pets IMO. :oD
How I felt when my Dad did it to me
I will not tell how many years ago this has been, but believe me it has been quite a few. My father believed in spanking, using a hairbrush and using the belt. I had three brothers and we all got a dose of each of this method of discipline, and today it still bothers me and brings me to tears when I think about it. I was not a bad kid, just the opposite, but my younger brother and I did not agree a lot of the time. It is bad enough when any child has that kind of punishment, but when you use this on a girl, I believe it does carry an emotional scar for the rest of your life, and I believe it does not teach your children anything in the way of how to handle problems, and how it must feel when a person in authority in their lives can carry out this inhumane act and it is okay, but let a child rebel in this manner toward someone else and they wonder what is wrong with the child, well we are teaching them this is perfectly acceptable to do, and there is nothing a child can do about it. This is the ultimate form of humiliation for a child, and nothing can justify to me that it is right. I know when my father took a hairbrush and belt to my brother and I, I never felt worse in my life. I felt anger, humiliation and just felt like the most unloved person in this world,and being the age I was I did not think it was appropriate that my father treat me this way, and not especially in front of my brother, who I felt terrible for also. Those chldren also depend on their parents for protection, and when a stranger can be given authority to do this, your child is devastated. Discipline, I believe, belongs at home, and there is a better way than this.
I too felt as you did.
I wanted to address the part about being a hypocrite and eating meat. I felt the same way as you do about this. I was a huge carnivore until I was 38, but always dreamed of being animal flesh free. I then went to an animal rights conference and forced myself to watch the undercover videos of the slaughter houses and that is what it took for me to stop. It was hard but so worth it.
I once heard Alicia Silverstone say something to the effect if you can only eliminate one meat at a time that would be a way to start. But if you can't then you try to help the animals in other ways such as fostering as you tried. Fosterers are heros, I can't do it as I have huge issues about letting them go too like your daughter. We all just need to do what we can do. I haven't given up wearing leather shoes, though want to, but I say I am doing my part and when I can I will. I also still do dairy and hope to one day be totally vegan. Just know that if you are trying and helping to be a voice for the animals that is all you can do and try to move towards a more humane way of life in all areas of your life as you are able.
When people say to me, well the dairy cows are the most cruely treated, why are you eating dairy, I say "I am doing what I can for them at this moment, in the future when I can do more I will, but I am doing my part by eliminating meat. Good luck to you Trose, and thanks for helping the animals.
I felt the same way -- sm
What Harrison (#92) did was wrong. He should have been ejected from the game. Most of my family and friends are Steelers fans and we all felt the same way. I'm happy for the rest of the Steelers. Ben's just a phenomenal QB. I hope Harrison receives some sort of penalty to his wallet for that one.
I must say, though, from the getgo my heart was torn between the 2 teams. I was never a Cardinals fan, but then I read Warner's (QB) story and he just seems like a great guy. I hope he hangs in there for another year. It was reported last night that win or lose he would be contemplating retirement.
I also felt like someone was behind me
and I could not turn to see them. I just knew I was awake, knew 1 time on the couch and even to make myself know I was awake tried counting something, threads in the couch, cracks in the ceiling, who knows, years ago but this is without a doubt the most horrifying thing. I knew a monster was behind me, could not turn to see, could not speak, I hope it never happens again.
I felt the same way about it...sm
I was hoping for something outrageously goofy yet touching, like that musical episode they had a few seasons back.
I felt nauseous until about 1 p.m. every day (sm)
and that lasted about the first three months. What really helped me was sucking on peppermints. I did this with both pregnancies and it was the only thing that made me feel better.
Congratulations and good luck to you!
been there, felt that, got counseling
We had been married about 15 years when I began to feel that way about my husband. We do not have kids, so let me tell you that I had little motivation to even want to try to work on things. Hubby suggested counseling (both group and just the two of us). After about a month of this and reading a few books at home I felt 100% better and those feelings of nearly hating him for no apparent reason went away. We worked hard on communication, which we had let slip over the years, during which time I harbored all kinds of hurts and resentments for things he had no clue were even making me upset, mad, disgusted, you name it. We will be celebrating our 24th anniversary this year and cannot be happier, so it CAN be done with hard work. You have first got to put your relationship as priority 1! Please do not just walk away without first trying everything you can!
When I had trouble, it felt like a really...sm
sharp, hard pinch along my sternum. I was given Motrin. I did have a workup first before the doctor decided on costochondritis - EKG, treadmill, echo. I do have mitral valve prolapse.
Well I'm sure she'd do the cooking if she felt up to it.
We can't decide for others when they are going to throw a party, though she seems to be thrusting one on you!
Poor kid.... I felt bad for him
I agree that he surely didn't measure up vocally to the others. He seems like a nice kid, though, and even most adults couldn't take being talked about the way he has been. I really felt for him up there. I hope he has a lot of fun when they're on tour. I think he's going to be getting the biggest reaction from the crowds.
Yeah, I felt bad for him too.
I think his tears showed just how much pressure he's been under all these weeks. He never did anything wrong. It was the judges who let him through that started this mess. He is just a kid after all wanting like all the other contestants to win. While I'm glad he's gone, I still don't wish him any ill will. Just those idiots at Vote for the Worst. They've got to go!
The ONLY one I have ever felt for in their case is....
Years of therapy due to what both of her parents have done. THEY have done it - nobody else - and the child is COMPLETELY innocent at 11....
In these cases, it's only the children who suffer...and these 2 nutcases should definitely know better, not like they are ill-educated and/or ignorant throughout the life.
Evidently they both need parenting classes and anger management classes....they have both created a very bad emotional situation for their daughter and personally she should probably be removed from their homes (possibly placed with a grandparent or some other relative) until these 2 nutcases CHOOSE to get themselves together.
You did what you felt you had to do at the time SM
and I wish the very best for you and your family now. I think you did the right thing by reaching out. I am sure in so many ways he misses you as well. It may take some time, but I think this will have a happy ending. Try to take it one day at a time and rest assured in what you have done by reaching out.
LOL! I felt the same way. I thought SM
there for a minute she was gonna fall off that
HOT TAMALE TRAIN!!!!! 
Wow -- after that post -- I actually felt
like I just got a massage. My hubs bought me a GC for a massage this past spring but I haven't used it yet. I'm waiting until a little closer to the holidays when I'll probably need it the most. At least now, I don't feel so funny about getting it.
I felt the same way about Rose.
She got stuck with a crappy group and had to pay for it. I liked voice and her a lot.
I have long felt
that all of these things should be legalized and controlled but available. The drugs should be available through drug outlets (so the safety could be controlled), prostitution should be licensed (so that health can be safe-guarded), all should be taxed and produced by licensed manufacturers (to ensure save procedures).
Laws should prohibit driving or performing any critical function while under the influence (many drug-users would have to accept that it takes longer to get past those affects than it does for alcohol (according to current research), minors must still be restricted from their use. At least some of the money realized from the taxes and the license fees should be devoted to helping people to stop using any of these things and an educational program should be undertaken to truthfully explain the hazards of usage.
I don't enjoy drugs (including marajuana and alcohal) and would never look forward to not being in complete control of my actions. I don't want my friends to use them either. But to forbid it is not reasonable and only encourages those who are determined, to break the law and undulge in practices that are even MORE unsafe because there is no one to oversee that they are properly done.
I feel pretty darned good, all on my own and perfer to handle that end myself.
I moved from CA to WA and I felt very...
welcome. Maybe it is more perception than anything, but I miss my Washington neighbors very much since I left. They were great people.
No, not really dense, she said felt sorry for my neighbors. the ones who
are nice, quiet, have a sense of wanting to live in a nice community, wanting to have something in life. So, now my deah, DUH to you because she said she felt sorry for the neighbors and the above fits mine to a T. I guess you can take some people out of the country but you will never take the country out of some people. Read again, she is sorry for having nice neighbors such as the doctors, lawyers, judges and the like where I live. Yeh, makes a lot of sense to me. NOT.
Thanks - could you elaborate on how you feel/felt? (sm)
How do you feel normally and how was it different on the med? I have low blood pressure so hopefully it wouldn't raise mine much. Did you get more done? Did you feel better?
Felt same way, but laughed out loud when
she grabbed her one ankle and put her hand behind her head...she was really funny but not a dance for a competition!
what did I miss - have to admit I felt
the whole season was a little boring and they have drawn out everything so long I watch another show in between actual dances- but last I heard they had put the engagement off until after the show - is there other news?
I felt the earthquake in Indiana sm
It was really scary. My daughter was upstairs while I was downstairs working. It woke her up and scared her to death.
that's what i thought at first. i felt like she gave up on us sm
we live out in the country, no kids out here to play with. he loves the woods. we have five acres. he goes out in the woods alot. i have a 7 y/o son. they love each other and my 7 y/o is total opposite of my 10 y/o. he's outgoing, can make friends anywhere he goes, will talk to people. i don't worry about him. i'm in the process of trying to find another psychologist/psychiatrist. a lot of them are not taking patients any more. these are pediatric psychs. i'm evening looking stuff up about them on the internet to see what i can find out about them. one of the docs i found got "best doctor award thingy" in 2008.
thank you for trying to understand. my son has also talked about dying a few times recently and in the past. i don't take that lightly at all. yes, he is a hypersensitive kid. he takes things very personally. he is a very good boy, though and very smart.
I made that comment yesterday and felt bad ever since.
amy
use felt and stitch witchery or glue
make a pattern out of newspaper and just do it until you get it right or use one you already have for template.
You can glue rick-rack, pom-poms, gems - go to craft store and look around. You can write names with permanent markers - or spell them out with gems, pearls, beads. Wish I could do it with you!!
I loved the idea about the felt backing
I will look for those, sounds like a good way to save the table. That is the route I will take this year and let the wood shine thru.
I also lost a child, and this post describes exactly how I felt. nm
/
I am in west central Illinois and felt the earthquake.
x
It was scary. Felt like it lasted FOREVER. Heard
s
The day I felt repulsed by my husband's advances was the day I decided to leave.
dd
Too many people felt sorry for Jane & Marie and gave them votes ..
so they wouldn't be eliminated, figuring the other dancers were too good to be eliminated. I agree it's too much of a popularity contest and not a dancing competition. On "Skating with the Stars" I think it was Kristy Swanson who fell in love with her teacher/partner, and he left his wife for her and now the two have a baby together.
I'm so concerned. Last night around 3 in the morning I rolled over in bed and felt so dizzy. sm
Fell back asleep, didn't think much about it. A little bit lethargic today. Took a nap after a long day (mom of 3 kids - 33 year old) and when I was in bed it happened again (severe vertigo) whenever I rolled my head from side to side.
Woke up nauseated. Didn't throw up. I don't feel weak anywhere. Just dizzy. Looked it up. Sounds like BPPV or Meniere's disease? I have no idea! I have to be healthy for my boys and myself! I have NEVER had ear problems in my life. I've never even had an ear infection before. This is so strange and concerning to me. I can't see doc until some time this week. Does anyone have vertigo, sudden onset, who can share a little with me? Help.  
|
