I think what you are experiencing is all normal teen behavior. sm
Posted By: kids -- GOTTA LOVE EM on 2008-07-19
In Reply to: latest update on 16-year-old daughter. - need advice desperately
I can't think of anyone that I hung around with in my teens that didn't run away. Trust me ---- they ALWAYS COME BACK.
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If the child gets lethargic, then please go see the doctor. If behavior is normal,
s
I wonder if she is experiencing any discomfort that would
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I concur. He may be experiencing anxiety attacks, which would
most definitely cause profuse sweating. As already stated by others, probably the best "medicine" he can receive is TLC provided by you.
yo trose? What is *normal*? Normal means
*normal*? that only means one has a preconceived idea of what sanity is....
which I don't - so I have no answer......*lol*
what's *normal*?? Normal only means one has a
Teen Sex
I understand your pain Mom; however, your "baby girl" is a young woman who is sexually active now. These are the statistics for teen sex today:
 Students who have had intercourse in highschool:
 40% of ninth graders
47% of tenth graders
57% of eleventh graders
72% of twelvth graders
Keep the lines of communication open. You cannot "regulate" your daughter's sex life. If you try, you will be fighting a losing battle. They will sneak around and find places to "do it." Encourage your daughter to have a female exam, Pap, and testing for STDs because that is the responsible thing ALL sexually active people should do today - not because she is "bad" or needs to be "taught a lesson about the seriousness of her actions." Trust that you have done a good job in raising her. Continue to be there for her.
Lilly
It seems to me the key here is whether this behavior sm
is a change from his previous actions, or whether he was always like this and is getting worse. If the latter, your marriage doesn't sound like it's worth working on, not just because of his behavior (which would be repulsive to me), but because you obviously don't have any positive feelings for him anymore. As a member of a strong Christian church which also advocates that the man is the head of the family, this kind of behavior would be completely unacceptable. Men are to treat their wives with respect and understanding.
If it is a change from his behavior when you were first married, he may have a serious medical or emotional problem. If so, and he doesn't get help, things may just get worse. Good luck to you.
Odd cat behavior
Does anyone know why my female cat would meow/cry loudly almost as if in distress when I use the oven? It's really starting to freak me out, like maybe it is going to blow up or something and she's trying to warn me. It seems to be working fine as far as I can tell and this has been going on a while now. Any ideas?
Bad Behavior
Apparently it was Megan's brother who was heckling Kara the night before and yelled out "broken record". Kara went up to him after and confronted him two different times. Megan seemed to get a big ego rather quickly. I think her mood came down to a screeching hault when Simon said they weren't even going to bother letting her sing again. Someday she is going to look back and cringe at that spectacle
Bad behavior............. sm
It has been said that people will treat us as badly as we allow them. Don't believe yourself to be unworthy of good treatment because that would only set the relationship up for more bad or possibly worse treatment in the future. Hold out for someone who treats you well and treasures the opportunity to be in your company. He is out there and he is the one who is worthy of your time.
TEEN DRIVING
I just dropped you an email.
teen fashion
OK, I have a teenage daughter who tells me "shaggy" hair is in for boys--nothing too clean cut. Clothes wise, American Eagle and the Buckle have trendy stuff. T-shirts with graphic designs, artsy, music related, kind of off the wall bands are popular--check out Target or Kohls for these, too. Hemp jewelry, dark-colored sneakers, pants that don't show your ankles when you sit down. Sagging is NOT hip, but not skin tight either. Don't tuck the shirts in. Just neat, but casual.
Hope this gives you an idea what to look for. Good luck!
teen clothes
For boys (my younest son is almost 16) - American eagle is hugely popular around here. My son also likes Abercrombie but they are so ridiculously expensive. Dockers shorts - lots of good shorts at Kohl's if you have one near you. Also if he has a favorite band/bands - order some of their graphic T shirts online, let him express his personality. Kids that age love those kind of T shirts.
Those of you with teen drivers....
...how did you handle speeding tickets, punishment wise? Take away their keys for XXX amount of time, ignore the first offense, ground them, etc.
teen drivers
I made my son pay his own ticket which for him was the punishment. I have to admit I speed so we didn't ground him or anything. Hasn't happened since.
Teen driver
I made my son pay his own tickets as well. He might have had a couple, total, but he soon learned. He's 21 now.
Thank you to all; I have a teen here in my complex who wants to do it.
Thank you.
teen driver
When my daughter got her license I gave her my older vehicle and she was responsible for gas and insurance. She paid for her repairs, but I helped if they were very high. My insurance agent told me to put her on her own policy so I would not get sued if she had an accident and my rates would not be affected by her driving record. By her living in my home she was able to get my discounts, ie., two car discount, different safety features on her vehicle, and home being insured. This was a wise choice as she had two small accidents within a year and is now paying high risk and my rates didn't change, but my insurance would have gone from $300 to $2600 every six months if she were on my policy. She hated having to pay since all her friends' parents were footing the whole bill, but now in college she appreciates it because she knows how to pay bills and budget her money while her friends are always bouncing checks or calling mom and dad for money.
Teen Troubles
Can you say, "Dr. Phil?" If you are that desperate, I would definitely consider it.
From the behavior you describe... sm
And the fact that you said he's old, it sounds to me like this guy is senile or has other mental problems going on. BUT, I think it would be a mistake to assume he isn't dangerous just because he's a little old guy who seems a little off. I also think you should notify the local police about him. He might be a danger to himself, if not others. If nothing else, he's a nuisance and should be reported.
I'm also someone who has all doors and windows locked at all times, and I don't open the door to strangers. Sometimes I do feel like I'm a little bit paranoid, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I also have the car doors locked when I'm driving anywhere.
I'm amazed that anyone leaves doors and/or windows unlocked, but I know it happens. My mother-in-law and father-in-law, for example? OMG. They never lock their doors! They live in a small mobile home park for seniors, in a small-ish town, and my MIL feels like it's safe. What really kills me is, she doesn't lock their doors at night, and she takes out her hearing aids to sleep, so she wouldn't even hear anything if someone did come in their home at night! She says "Oh we have great neighbors. Everyone watches out for each other." What?! Crazy. And this is a woman who loves to read true crime novels and watches court TV and knows about the things that can happen. She worked as a legal secretary for decades and is very intelligent in all areas but this one. I just can't understand it. They don't live near us, but when we go to visit, I go around and lock all the doors at night. Otherwise, I'd never get to sleep!
As a side note, there is an excellent book called 'The Gift of Fear' by Gavin DeBecker. I highly, highly recommend it to all women. Get a copy today! I also like a show on the Discovery Channel called 'It Takes a Thief.' It's very enlightening about just how easy it is for criminals to break into most homes.
That's my 2 cents. Stay safe, ladies! :o)
And again, she cannot change his behavior, only hers
will not back down on that one. Lots of reason for divorce. Staying because of the children is an absolute wrong way to work at a marriage. She finds him disgusting, surely the children notice or they will when they age a little. I would not care if I had 10 children hanging onto my apron strings, would not want to stay somewhere that I am so unhappy I ask outsiders what they would do. My mother divorced in a time when no parents divorcing, believe it or not, and when I went to elementary school I was asked why no daddy. I turned out well, felt it had no adverse effect on me. Saw him, didn’t see him, ?? Really loved my stepmom though. He did do a good thing right in his life by bringing her into it.
There is also the behavior issue of (sm)
submissive piddling.
You can buy something called a Belly Band for him to wear in the house. If he dribbles with it on, he gets himself wet, so this can teach him not to let that happen. I've just heard that not all pet stores call it a Belly Band or know what that is, but you can Google something like house training, canine belly band, and you can read about it and maybe order on line.
Corgis are so cute. You can post pictures here on the gab board.
Behavior changes in husband
I have searched the internet for some clues to what is described below but not even sure what key words to enter in a search.
Anyway, husband is 46 and exceedingly fit and athletic his whole life. Behaviorally and genetically he is prone to accentuated mood highs and lows, not quite bipolar probably but close. Runs heavily in his family. He tends toward aggression, bullying and denial at times. Childish at times, even naive, very literal even though highly educated. All the above has been increased by about double (particularly the childishness in behavior and decision-making) in the past year and it is nearly intolerable. He often doesn't process what I say or else is just not listening to me. I have to repeat things over and over and worst of all, he makes poor decisions about things and I often feel like I'm living with an 8-year-old. I am stressed on an almost constant basis. Alzheimer's came to mind but couldn't find anything that really fit in looking at symptoms. Is there the possibility of mental illness manifesting itself at this age?
behavior problems
We have had and still have behavior problems with our son and he is ADHD, have you had your child tested? He also has ODD, which stands for oppisitional definance disorder. He sees a therapist on a regular basis and it has helped tremendously with his behavior.Your school psychologist is not very good or qualified if he has not referred you to any outside help. Your pediatrician should be able to help you out and point you in the right direction.
Terrier behavior sm
We had a part terrier (not pit bull) who destroyed everything in sight when we left her, sailed over a 6-foot fence, took clothes and glasses and buried them in the ground, etc. She literally was a "goat" and the payoff was when she ate the living room couch when I had 20 people coming over and it was Christmas Eve. When I called the shelter they told me that if I brought her there and she did that with someone else, they would have kept bringing her back and she would eventually be euthanized. Sixteen years and a lot of furniture later, she finally died of old age. When she was 10, she began to get a little better, but we put up with an awful lot. I have talked to others who have had "terrier" type dogs who did crazy things when left alone. I don't think the dog will change, but good luck. I have Uncle Matty videos, green apple spray (she liked it) and tons of self-help books for owners of dogs as mentioned. All I can say is good luck, you have to have patience, common sense and a sense of humor. I hope there's a reward somewhere for what we put up with as animal lovers but I did not have the heart to see this crazy, one-black eyed dog being put down, so I kept her and kept trying. She ate the shingles off the house, a brand new shed, a few couches, some kitchen cabinets, and the list goes on......it's true. Animal Lover here! You could buy a kong at the pet store and put peanut butter in it (or several) to keep the dog busy for awhile, but when that's empty, expect the next best thing to disappear.
Kids behavior
How a child acts at home is not an indicator of how he/she acts when away from home and parents, no matter what is taught in the home. It is always good to get the whole scoop from others who were there exactly what happened before you go off on anybody. It just could be that the other mom is sitting there angry because of what your child might have done to her child that she might have felt the need to defend herself against. I learned this from experience. I thought I had the perfect angel also, raised with good morals, two-parent home, involved in church, no bad behavior at home, but found out I was dead wrong when watching a video from the school (also a private grade school). Just something to think about.
need some insight into son's behavior
I wonder if anybody has any insight into my son's behavior and performance in school. His dad and I have talked until we are blue in the face and we have also left him alone and have given him space regarding his grades. Neither causes any change. He just keeps telling us he doesn't care about high school and that it does not matter. He has no respect for the teachers (not many of them take teaching very seriously, in all honesty, so I can't much blame him for that) and he doesn't feel like he should try since they don't.
This is a kid who scores in the 98 to 99th percentile on standardized testing. He is SO smart, friendly, outgoing, quick-witted, and for the most part respectful. He doesn't smoke or drink or do drugs. He plays guitar in the praise band at church. He is a good kid, but he just refuses to do his school work.
This has been a struggle for the past 4 years of high school. He is supposed to graduate in May, but the last 9 weeks report card came today and he got 2 F's, a D and a C. The 2 F's were gimme classes, believe it or not. If he doesn't bring those up to average a passing grade he won't graduate. It makes me sad, confused, frustrated beyond belief, worried, just to name a few emotions.
He says he thinks he has ADD but I think he just WANTS to have it so he can have a pass, so to speak. I think it could be some deeper problem, like our family dynamics, playing a role. Does anybody have any ideas on how this boy can be inspired to rise to meet even the smallest challenge?
Regardless of her ridiculous behavior,
she sang horribly & was annoying to watch perform. No great loss...
And her behavior is just despicable, you are right
to be angry.
Who needs 'friends' like that?
Dump her!
Is this new behavior or just increased lately? sm
If it is not new, then I agree with the posters below. However, if this is something new, see if there are any changes in his diet or medications if he is on any. I've posted about this before, but my son (who will be 8 in a couple of weeks) went from a typical 7-year-old to an out-and-out tyrant when he was placed on Singulair for asthma. Everything was an argument, even things he normally liked, and if he did not get his way, watch out. He had nightmares and barely slept, was hearing voices, and told me several times he wished he had never been born. I cried every day and was 1 day away from an appointment with a behavior specialist when we figured out it was the medication causing the problem. We still say he should be a lawyer when he grows up because he is always trying to figure out loopholes in the rules, but overall he is a good kid who is now happy without any of the issues he had while on Singulair.
Teen fashion emergency! :) SM
OK, please help if you can. My son and I are clueless when it comes to "cool" fashions. His friends sorta teased him today and said he is really uncool (uncool haircut, clothes, shoes). They jokingly said they were going to do an extreme makeover on him. I laughed at first, but then thought, "Hey! That's not half bad!" He is starting high school in the fall, and I would like to help him with a makeover this summer. He is a nice looking kid, just got his braces off (so has a really nice smile), a little bit on the husky side, but his clothes and shoes are Walmart specials. He is just a basic "boy" hair cut.
What is "cool" for boys? Where should we shop? What kind of haircut is cool for a 15-year-old boy? I'm so clueless!
Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated!
 Chickadee
I too met my "father" as a teen/adult.
I had always asked questions. My mom was always very honest when she felt we could handle it about why they broke up (he was abusive). He contacted my brother and me when I was 16. I met him, found out he wasn't my "dad" since that was someone who would have at least been there for me when I needed him or to even know so I consider my "father" as a sperm donor. I am glad I did meet him and have closure (like someone else mentioned) because I think I would have always been curious but I didn't pursue a relationship with him. My father-in-law has been a real dad to me but my blood relative father is not a dad.
I agree with what someone mentioned too that your mom may not have been totally honest, wanting you to not want to pursue meeting him. I was lucky, my mom never badmouthed him when we were growing up even when we had all these questions about him, why they didn't stay married, what it would be like if they had stayed together and everything else. I realize now of course my mom was smart to have gotten out at the beginning. Once an abuser always an abuser so I'm relieved now. If you want to talk about it more let me know and I'll send you my e-mail.
JMO, but having been a very wild teen at one time...
you really should intervene. Your sister has a right to know, it is her child after all, and to turn a blind eye and pretend it does not exist does your niece more harm than good. Take it from one who has been there, if someone would have done the same for me I would have been angry, but looking back now it would have changed my life tremendously. A lot of young girls today really need some direction, look at the role models they have out there, most of them are nothing to brag about! Good luck to you, you sound like a loving and caring auntie!
I have two teen drivers on my insurance.
One is away at college and is not allowed to have a car on campus. Since he's paying for, or has earned scholarships for a good portion of his tuition, we pick up his car insurance as a secondary driver on a very old Toyota that he inherited from his grandfather. My second son has had his license for only two weeks. At the current time, as he is a good student, responsible and working very hard at school and on some extracurricular activities, we pick up his insurance as a secondary driver, as well. So far, so good. No one has had any moving violations or dings. In fact, I'm 46 and have never had a moving violation and have only gotten two parking tickets (deserved).
We're very serious here about driving responsibility. The boys know that one speeding ticket and we drop them from our insurance like hot potatoes. No insurance, no driving, no car. No warning. Mess up once, and they don't get back behind the wheel on our dime ever. The boys also know that their father and I mean what we say. We're not rich, but we are happy to be able to help our sons as they work toward their futures. But we won't pay high insurance fees because of their stupidity. More importantly, we've been to too many funerals for young people who died in accidents caused by speeding. I think that because of this, our boys seem to have taken their driving responsibilities/privileges very seriously.
update on teen drama
I posted before about how my son's ex-girlfriend was sabotaging him receiving an invitation to Sadie Hawkins dance. The girl that "changed her mind" can't find another date because it is too close to time.
So she follows my son all over the place, but she has to be loyal to the "Queen Bee" and doesn't seem to have the courage to ask him again.
Four years is a long time to be incarcerated in high school. Maybe he will get an A in chemistry instead!
Teen Heart Throbs
Who was your celebrity teen heart throb?
Mine has always been Donny Osmond. I really liked David Cassidy too.
Teen heart throbs
First was probably David Cassidy. Too many more to mention. LOL.
OMG - that is eerily similar to my cat's behavior
although he always drank out of the sink - he has pretty much begun living in the bathroom and yelling. I keep going in to see if the faucet is dripping (yes I have to leave a faucet dripping) and it is. He is more loving and requires more attention. When my daughter goes in to take a shower he yells outside the door like he is dying. I will say that I know that crystals forming sometimes indicates antifreeze ingestion - but there is no way your cat could have survived that. Thanks for the info. Maybe there is hope. He is eating now - with some coaxing.
No, but change in behavior might cause me to look for MySpace or other
s
Sweet. Very kittenish behavior.
Bet he'd have drooled on her if she'd have scratched his head. But the love bites might have hurt, LOL.
husband's behavior due to porn, LOL
His behavior is NOT due to porn. If his behavior is so bad it is due to HIM...nothing evil caused him to be this way, just him and his choices.
I don't get what's so wrong with porn? If consenting adults are in it and consulting adults are viewing it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It does not mean the person looking at it is a deviant. Geez...some of you people have some serious hang ups with sex and sexuality.
Try to loosen up a little ladies, maybe life would be a little more fun.
Old enough when I see immaturity and child-like behavior
Poor things.
Older cat's behavior- confusing me
My older girl says nothing, usually but today she is being very vocal, not like she is in pain but just sounding off. She has lost weight but gained 1/2 lb when I weighed her yesterday in 2 weeks (on medication for her appetite) but seems to be roaming so to speak, constantly walking around (usually sleeping) and wanting all attention from me and that is not usual for her. She seems to be pacing back and forth so to speak. Anyone have cat that theirs acted like this?
When my son was in second grade he had behavior issues (sm)
I know many may not agree with me, but I believe positive reinforcement for good behavior and negative consequences for bad behavior works. Every week our school sends home a folder with the child's "grades" for the week in schoolwork and behavior, with 4 being the best (pretty much unattainable for my son!) 3 being good, 2 being so-so, and 1 being really bad. I put him on an allowance schedule with chores he had to do with a certain allowance each week. HOWEVER his grades in his folder would greatly influence this allowance. Gettings 3s would keep his allowance the same, getting a 2 automatically took off $2 (he never got a one but that would have taken his whole $5 allowance). If he ever got a 4 he would get an additional $2. This worked really really well for him, but all children are different. Good luck!
i see it as a human behavior post.
x
You agree with her childish behavior?
I thought immature, totally out of character for a supposed-to-be-grown mother to boot and totally a turn-off for me and my family. I am so glad she is off there. I would hate to see her in any way rise to be the example of what an American Idol should be. Good riddance!
I've had 2 teen boys and my suggestion is to
take him to SuperCuts where for really cheap you can get him a hip cut. Have him look at the books/magazines and then ask the stylist for her opinion depending on his face structure, hair type, etc. Next, I would go to Target for his clothes - they are a little more expensive but classy - WalMart is pretty well hated by all teens.... he would probably rather have fewer shirts and pants and have them be a little nicer...... and shop for some bargain shoes - Famous Footwear - or check sales and don't forget the internet!! JCPenney is great also - almost forgot about them!!
Great teen stores. They are owned by the same ... SM
establishment (for lack of a better word LOL). Gap is the more expensive, higher end, clothing. Old Navy is less expensive and is what the kids around here wear the most of. Either is really good but Old Navy goes a lot further in your budget.
Maurice's is good and not so high priced, if you have one of those nearby. And don't forget about the old standbys like Macy's, Penney's, Sears, and Belk's if these are in your area of the country.
I feel like if I don't change the course now then I will have problems when he is a teen (sm)
I am hoping if I can find a way to alter his course, maybe it can go in a different direction. I know everyone has their own personality, but I think as parents it is our job to do our best to raise them to be the best adults they can be, and to give them a chance at having a happy adult life. If I just ignore it, I think I would not be doing my job as a mom.
When I was a teen & my sister was 10, my parents banned
We got around that one pretty easily. At 10:00 or so, we'd each yawn, say goodnight, and go to bed. Our parents usually followed not long after. At 11:30 I'd get up, wake up my sister, and we'd sneak back out to the living room to watch it with the sound way down. My parent's bedroom was back at the other end of the house, so they couldn't hear it or see the light from the TV. We never got caught, either! Hehe
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