I think it is important to realize that...
Posted By: Kendra on 2009-01-07
In Reply to: I don't understand how people can advise - You know the answer
the world does not revolve around us. If there is not a huge amount of fighting or abuse of some sort, why should she deprive her children of their father. Often, I think children say what their parents want to hear about the other parent. My 33-year-old brother still does. There are worse things than waking up and going to bed with a person whom you do not love. And - I bet that if she tried, she could still find something she does love about him. I really think that society has made divorce to acceptable. There is just no incentive to stick it out through the tough times that everyone has.
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Sometimes people don't realize how important the little things are...
Until they go through a loss themselves. Last year I lost my father and cherished every card I received. At the same time, I also felt terrible about the times I had neglected to send a card to someone else. I had thought at the time they were inadequate and probably unnoticed until I was going through it myself. Now I realize how important they are.
Don't be too hard on your friends and co-workers. One day they'll likely feel remorseful, as I do.
Maybe they do, and you just don't realize that's what it is??
nm
Of course I realize that, but
Nonetheless, she looked great! I was surprised to see her showing off her "new body", but looks like maybe just a hoax? Whatta waste of a lives these young Hollywood's are...
I think you need to realize
your feelings are about a fantasy, not about a real relationship. He himself has already given you information that when it is over it is over. He obviously does not share your feelings. He can treat you very well but it is e-mail. In real life he has gas, stinky feet, cranky moods like everyone. Older men and younger women is a dangerous situation. They enjoy your adoration but don't return it. It is difficult but the longer you go the more you will be hurt and the more of your life you will waste on a fantasy. Remember when you had a crush on a celebrity when you were a young teen and felt like it was true love and would never end? It is about the same thing. I don't judge you -- I have had experiences that I look back on now and see what time I wasted and regret that I could have focused on other things in my life. I hope you don't do the same.
So, what if you realize you
have an unstable dog, but you realize it because the first unprovoked attack was a deadly one? Too late.
I think you are being irresponsible if you ever let anyone step foot in your house if it causes your dog to feel anxious. You are tempting fate, my friend.
I would not even realize if it were my
DH but the OP is having a problem with it, she probably thinks he is talking with someone he does not want her to know about, that is the problem.
Wow, I didn't realize
Just how lucky I was. My husband bought me wonderful Christmas presents everything that I could definitely use and want. He's a wonderful person and helps with the cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, doing just about anything and everything around the house. I couldn't ask for someone better. I didn't realize just how much I had until I read some of these posts.
Maybe they realize their matriarch has gone
Its usually the case that "grandma" keeps the extended family together. It happened when my grandma died, and will happen again on a smaller scale when my mother dies. She's the one they all kept in contact with, the one that knew where everybody went and what they're up to. Talking to her you got to hear about the whole family (whether you felt like it or not). So now she's gone, people will drift off, lose touch, stop having big family gatherings with her at the center. Kiss half your cousins goodbye, because by the next funeral, nobody will know how to get in touch with them any more. I'd say they're mourning for the family in general, because things will probably never be the same again with the center gone.
I didn't realize that either!
Guess I assumed when wal-mart stopped so would everyone else. Well, for now I will still boycott K-mart but when it gets closer I will go there for some kids toys and that's probably it.
I realize you just can't back off now.
Carefree & happy? Relatively speaking, sure. But "proud" isn't how I would describe feeling about that.
I've done plenty of therapy in my life, thanks, but it was unrelated to the above issue.
If you stop attacking me publicly now, you will just lose too much face, so go ahead, take your best shot. After this last post I wondered: What would make this person satisfied? That I be bent & suffering with remorse & guilt? Would you feel better then? Sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. I simply feel okay about my past, so I can't help you there. I suppose there is nothing I can do to make you feel better. I think you should work on feeling more forgiving of yourself for decisions you've made in your past, & then you will not feel the need to attack others for the mistakes you yourself have made.
I hope this gives you more than just a giggle, & rather than pollute the board with any more of your mouthings, I'd rather have you contact me directly at my e-mail address if you really think there is more you need to get off your chest. But I doubt you will do this because of the element of performance there is to your posts, & I doubt it will help because I would just be a substitute for you. At any rate, you are welcome to e-mail me.
That is good that you realize that though...
some people don't realize that until after they have kids and then their children suffer because of it...Good for you for not wanting to bring a child into the world knowing it may have special needs as well...I applaud that...I love my two children but definitely do not want any more--lol
After reading all of these posts, I realize
How lucky I am!
My ex, and my hubby's ex, were both people who always needed to be in a crisis...and if there was none, they'd create it.
Luckily, after we'd both divorced we found each other. We have a peaceful life, and my inlaws and his inlaws are all great people and it's a joy and great fun when we get together.
I give thanks to God for my good fortune!
Sorry, didn't realize she used that name. My apologies.
x
It sounds like he just doesn't realize sm
that you would love for him to call you first. I don't care how many hints you drop, men just don't realize certain things unless we flat out tell them. Have been married almost 20 years to a wonderful man, but sometimes he still just doesn't get it. It is very true that "we learned everything we needed to know in kindergarten, boys are st*pid" LOL
ok, sorry-I didn't realize you don't work for them...
You do realize that with Katrina damage
At least in Mississippi and Lousiana part....they may have rebuilt some hotels but the surrounding locality looks like a war zone; most of the boat docks and walking/fishing piers were completely destroyed and probably haven't been rebuilt, and many of the cute local beach restaurants are gone. It might be educational re Katrina damage if that's what you're after...but it's not what I'd call a happy place to vacation at this time.
To GF: Do you realize that the all caps is yelling?
I think you should realize that first before you get upset with everyone here.
You are yelling through your all cap typing.
guess I didn't realize they were that
much bigger - definitely have not had one then. I have read several articles about the nuthatches saying that they are occasional visitors very far south but this year reports are that there are large groups going way out of there range - apparently conifer forests didn't do well in the north. My little slate colored juncos (snow birds) are here with the snow flurries this morning.
You're right.... kids have to realize they have....sm
to be responsible and adults shouldn't be held to bail them out all of the time.
Why should an adult give up their money because a teenager was irresponsible?
I realize this is a private matter, but
is there someone close to the both of you that could be present when you tell him. Ordinarily, I would recommend meeting him in a public place, but in this case, since it is a financial affair, I wouldn't recommend that. However, if there is someone you are both close to, perhaps you could have them present (even if only in the other room) while you tell him.
Another possibility may be to discuss this with your in-laws first. Again, I wouldn't ordinarily recommend this, but they appear to already be involved in your financial matters since you borrowed the money from them for the car. Depending on their reaction, perhaps you could all sit down together and they could help you work this out.
If all else fails, call your attorney and schedule a meeting where he will mediate. I would not tell this man alone in person. It doesn't sound like a safe thing to do.
I didn't realize K Mart still had Lay away!
I always loved Lay Away. You could shop and know you got what you needed and save up for it. Yes, the year Walmart did away with Lay away everybody around these parts were really upset. Most people who do lay away do so so they can use cash and not credit. Uggg. Credit. Wish I never heard of a credit card. But that's another story for another day. LOL.
Maybe they had so many kids they didn't realize til now he was gone
What is wrong with people. You have a missing kid you report it!
Reminds me of that movie Home alone.
She was a stray. I did not realize she did not belong to anyone
until after she was pregnant. We adopted her or she adopted us. I do plan on getting her fixed.
Wow. I didn't realize the response I was going to receive. Let me all tell you a little sm
something about me (for a change).
I am a very intimate, romantic, sexual (close your eyes if this is offensive), kind of gal. Seriously. My mother always told me I was a "hopeless romantic!" One of my favorite movies is Pretty Woman, for crying out loud. For years, I would shop in the lingerie dept. at various dept. stores, even buying things from Victoria's Secret, mind you. But if there is one thing my husband has done to me over the years is help me to completely lose interest in intimacy and now, sex. He doesn't listen to me, doesn't compliment me, doesn't touch me at all during the day. It's saddened me so much over the past few years. If we meet up after work he'll just go on about his business, not reaching to give me a kiss, ask me about my day, nothing.
The fact that he approached me the other night was actually surprising. Yes, he's trying. But what is a woman to do when after so many years of neglect? Jump at him? Tackle him? I can't. I simply can't. I'm suffering from low self worth as it is due to his lack of communicating any kind of affection or concern to me. I don't know how to gain it back. I don't know how to get back that spark. It's not there. It saddens me so much, but it's true.
So, give me a little more credit.
Ms. Manners, maybe you need to come up with the times and realize that not everything in this world
anymore, but people do what they do to be happy in this world. You should try it, you might like it.
I didn't realize I started the same as the topic below - nm
haha
forgive me-I didn't realize you were the grandparent!
 but I also think you, as a grandparent, can supply all the info to CS....my situation was entirely different and I'm sorry I didn't realize you were the grandparent before I posted...
And God Bless you for taking responsibility for your grandkids, my parents would have done zippo!! 
Exactly. Plus, don't people realize that Texas is weird?
nm
didn't realize this problem was so rampant!
my mom would not have been able to survive had my dad not paid child support for all of us kids when they were divorced. out of the seven of us, four were still at home when they divorced. when it got down to just me and my mom (i'm the youngest), that child support paid most of our bills. my dad was in the air force though so i'm sure they wouldn't have let him get away with not paying.
my transient brother is 33 and has several children in different states. he was married once, never sees those three kids and just had his $3000 tax refund garnished to pay arrears for them. i bet his ex was happy to receive that fat check! i don't know how old his other children are but he just had one with a girlfriend this past october (i worry about that little boy every single day and probably will for the rest of my life) and has run out on them too. i imagine the support he owes is in the tens of thousands. he moves from state to state and from job to job to avoid having to pay.
my first daughter's sperm donor was a rapist who was never caught. while that in itself sucks, i am so glad i don't have to deal with child support and custody battles. i've managed to make it through without having to deal with all that, and my husband is the only father my little girl will ever know.
MOST IMPORTANT!!!!
x
It's not really as important to me as it is to you.
Why don't you take your misdirected anger and put it where it belongs instead of being mean and rude to people on the Internet who have done NOTHING to you!!! Now I remember why I stopped coming to MT Stars and that's because of rude people like YOU.
This is very important..
the cat should be an indoor cat ONLY!! It would never survive outside without any claws. I don't understand why people put their cats out anyway...they are just as happy as being indoors as long as there is stimulation and playtime. I let my cat out on my balcony (under supervision) to "blow the stink off him" but he prefers to be in the house looking out the window.
VERY IMPORTANT
It's very important that you teach your daughter that someone who treats her like this is not a true friend. I have taught my daughter to BE NICE TO EVERYBODY, but you DO NOT have to be everybody's best friend. I have told her what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Help her understand that it is disappointing, but the sooner she accepts that's the way this girl is, the happier she will be. Unfortunately my daughter had to learn the same lesson at that age and I have had to reiterate it to her this year in the 7th grade. It's OKAY to not be best friends with this girl, and that friends should not treat friends this way. It's all about boundaries.
Important
I think it is very important to try to get to the root of your son's problem. He may not have a real handle on what is bothering him (or what happens) either, but there should be someone qualified to help with that.
Another thought is to see if those nanny shows are on DVD. It seems they are very smart about handling a lot of the situations with children and families.
Well that is certainly more important
in the long run.
P.S. - very important
Another thing you don't say is how much you really know about this man. If he has bad credit, unpaid child support payments, a criminal record, etc. this could permanently scar your own situation.
If you don't truly know a great deal about this man, spend a few bucks and have a private investigation firm check him out.
I do not have anything more important
To think about than the one person on this board who posts every other blog, arguing back and forth with themselves, like you, pretending to be 100 people, Maybe you should think about that.
Gosh, I didn't realize it was December 15th already. Thanks. nm
nm
Gosh, these posts make me realize how much I love
He does none of what has been talked about here. I am blessed beyond measure...
What's funny is that for a long time I did not realize it was all abuse (sm)
I knew the physical part was abuse. Other than that I thought he was a jerk, quirky ideas about things, a hard-nose, hard-headed, rude...but I never realized it was all abuse until I finally started reading up on it. Apparently in these situations we start to accept things little by little as being normal. Like slowly boiling before you realize you're done.
Some important questions
Are there people around who can look in on the grandparents and get back with you? If I were unable to get in touch with grandparents, aunts, siblings or the like and had always been able to, I would contact the police to get them to intervene. I would think they could check up just to ease your mind and make sure they are ok. Oh, by the way, you might text or leave message on cousins phones since you are unable to hear from them this is your plan-- It is surprising how putting this out there will get the attention you are wanting. I just recently got some wonderful results from a person not responding to my emails, realtor to be exact- told him what I planned on doing, no need for him to reply, 4th email and that afternoon a phone call and an email. Works wonders!
Why is the lifestyle more important?
He is a me type person. I have a grown daughter just like that. He is only thinking of himself and what he wants. This is the difference in my martial situation- if my husband wanted to move somewhere else I would go with him in a minute, no question. I love my home but I love him more. The statement about the other woman would probably make me feel a little uneasy because I feel if you are saying things like that, how do I know you are not acting on them? I have a cousin spent loads of time hunting, going to all kinds of meetings of things he was involved with, had 2 almost grown sons, left his wife of 30+ years, had met another woman and gave up a paid for 4 bedroom brick home to live with this woman in a trailer… It happens.
It's important to know these things
You'd know if you hadn't had a BM in 5 days or if you hadn't peed in an entire day. (I'm not suggesting people are writing these things down, I'm just sayin'...) Both might signal that something wasn't right. Periods that are not right in frequency definitely can signal things not right with the body. I think it's a great practice and will do so when my 3 start with their periods. I have PCOS, so I'm a little anal about it, but I so wished someone would have taken notice when I was a teen and showing many signs of it.
Freedom first and most important
My husband has only danced with me ONCE during our entire (more than two-decade) marriage and that was under extreme pressure from his buddies (we were out with a group of friends, mostly couples).
I lost my identity for a long time but after YEARS of marriage I am starting to get it back. Baby steps, but little by little...
I am for them. They are an important reminder
Although they are considered a religious symbol, it should not offend atheists to see them on the side of the road. This is America, land of many religions, and how someone wants to honor a loved one that has passed is their business in my opinion. They are free to be atheists and should allow others their freedom as well.
One important question...sm
One of the things you don't mention is what each of you is bringing into the relationship materially. You say "he knows what he wants out of life", and that's disturbingly different from saying "he has achieved (whatever) in life". After all, what he wants out of life might be a cushy situation...or a mother...or lots of other things that really aren't healthy.
If this man is 40 and isn't bringing a substantial material contribution to the relationship in relation to your own contribution, this is a VERY big red flag.
What's he been doing? What has he accomplished? How stable have his jobs been? At 40, a man has accumulated a sufficient record to tell you exactly who he is beyond his words and protestations of love. You must be willing to LOOK at these things very objectively.
Aside from that, I'm afraid that 70-versus-50 will not be such a good fit, and 80-versus-60 will be even worse.
I'm sorry I can't be more optimistic about this, and I really debated whether to post my reservations because I'm not interested in raining on your parade, but there are simply too many examples of such extreme age differences where the older partner, especially when that is the female, has been victimized by shiftless opportunists who talk the game and say all the things the lonely female wants to hear.
Vitamin D is very important
A lack of vitamin D is the cause of ricketts. It doesn't happen that often in the US any more because of all of the fortified foods we get, but if you don't go outside much at all, it can be a real concern. There was a story about a hugely obese man - like 900 pounds obese - who had horrible pain and it turned out to be a lack of vitamin D. THe only way your body can metabolize vitamin D is by exposure to sunlight.
Doctors always want to make sure that women who are older or at risk for osteoporosis take Calcium and Vitamin D. The Vitamin D helps the body metabolize the calcium.
You should probably take a calcium supplement as well, if you aren't already.
Hope your rib pain goes away!
IMPORTANT. READ THIS!!!!
Right now we are in the first stage just like what happened to Mexico. We are in the mitigating phase for pandemic with level 5.
This flu has the Avian (bird), swine (pig), and the human flu; all three combined. This flu can last 160 days and will spike around 87 days. This flu bug is lay around dormant for a total of 30 days. This flu can have 2 stages. The first part of the flu is just like a flu bug that normally people get, but then it can mutate and go into a secondary phase. The host will try to find your lungs and settle in your lungs and cause pneumonia. Once you have pneumonia with this flu, there are no antibiotics to cure you or fight off infection because this is a new strain of flu.
Yes, lots of people die each year of the flu, but they are usually older people with immune system down or children under the age of 2. The reason why not many people die is because we had flu shots or it is an old type of flu and our body is immune to it.
PANDEMIC MEANS: No antibiotics to cure this flu and no vaccines for this new strain of flu hitting the world. Means imminent for the flu to be wide spread.
Right now you are seeing the spike (second stage)of Mexico which is about 87 days later from when the flu started in Mexico which I believe was around February.
In America, you are right now seeing the beginning of the flu. Around 70-90 days, we will spike just like Mexico, but, it COULD be worse. Mexico was the first wave and we will be the second and could be worse than Mexico. The germ bug is getting smarter and it likes to pick on hosts that are approximately ages 10-40 and VERY HEALTHY INDIVIDUALS, not so much the elderly.
Basically the people who have the flu now are lucky, because they ended up getting the milder case and just watch when it spikes. Also the reports you are seeing is CDC is going back days to weeks, meaning, CDC is going back some 14 days and finding individuals who might have had a case of the flu and then do a test and then report and state confirmation of the swine flu or should be known as H1N1 flu. We do not have confirmed cases as of today, but days or weeks ago from the CDC. This germ/bug is multiplying and multiplying just like a wild fire out of control which can produce more new fires.
Basically, in the next few weeks, partically every state will have the flu. What makes me really nervous is that CDC and others felt this level 5 was going to be announced Friday and possibly Thursday, NOT TODAY!!! It must be pretty bad.
One important point..........
They know for a fact that the AIDS virus was spread for the most part to the heterosexual community by gay males who were married to females but were gay and engaging in homosexual behavior outside their marriage. Their wives contracted the disease, may have divorced, been in other relationships themselves, and not knowing they had the virus, passed it on.....
You're starting to get the point I suppose....
Maybe the teacher doesn't realize his boyfriend and not dad? I would inform her immediately! sm
Does your boyfriend live there? Have you been together a long time? If not, he is way overstepping his bounds and I would immediately put a stop to it.
Two important things to keep in mind (sm)
First, he was the one who told you, not someone else. If he were trying to "get away with something" I seriously doubt he would even mention it to you.
Second, they were at a public place, and he said he told you "people were staring." You need to ask yourself if he would do something he wasn't supposed to when people were watching. Also, if people were staring it was probably because they were wondering where you were. None of their business.
I say trust DH on this one. Don't blow it out of proportion, and give him the benefit of the doubt. However, I would also keep an eye and an ear out for this woman. Sitting next to your husband one time at a game is one thing, but it shouldn't become a regular thing.
Best of luck to you! Hope this helps!
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