I think it's mostly the upbringing
Posted By: SM on 2007-08-06
In Reply to: I have had this happen with relatives and friends alike - sm - misty
Ever since I was old enough to talk, whenever I got anything, even if it was $5 in a card in the mail, my mom had me right on the phone. As I got older, when I was old enough to write, days were spent writing thank you cards after parties for my communion, birthdays, etc.
To this day, I have never not thanked someone, by card or by phone, or even by email, for any type of gift.
There are so many ways to say thank you and people who do not are just rude or not brought up right IMO.
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evidently the ESL had terrific upbringing.......nm
Above post is spot on. My mom is this way because of upbringing.
I wish I could explain this more - (it's probably in one of our mental health reference books!) I believe that no one ever showed her sympathy as a child and taught her to be very suspicious and untrusting of other people. I believe she feels if she shows that she cares, she'll just be disappointed anyway, so why bother. It causes one to put up a wall, just like the other poster said. This really resonated with me when I read it. Because of myself also being brought up this way, it's sometimes hard for me to let anyone else in too, and I have had to teach myself empathy. I sure am doing my best, and very obviously, to teach my children empathy by using life examples and modeling the behavior myself.
I'm so sorry about your son. If you want to talk about it on the board, we're all listening. XX 
people are conditional; pets are not. Her upbringing may
nm
I was born in 1960 but sounds like we had the same upbringing
I would have loved to live in the 50s as a teen/adult. Sounds like we came from the same neck of the woods. I too had a curfew of 10pm on weekends with a 5 minute leeway. After 5 minutes I was grounded for 2 weeks (and this was high school and I dare not argued back). If I ever dared talk back to my parents (well actually I did once and only once, we lived by the belt. We got it when we were bad, but not to the point of abuse - it was to learn a lesson and we did). We had a TV with 12 channels (actually 9 because we didn't get channels 8, 9 and 11), and we didn't have a remote. My parents idea of a remote was telling my sister and me to change the channel. No dishwasher (again my moms dishwashers was my sister and me). I spent Sundays doing church activities, Saturdays was Girl Scout activities. We too didn't have computers. Closest was an Atari ping pong we played on the TV. My mom was a ballerina, tap, jazz dancer and spent a lot of time teaching us. We spent nights inventing word games, drawing, making candles, quilting and other crafts. Hardly watched TV. We just learned how to entertain ourselves. Sis and I would spend a lot of times in the woods and outside. I'd give everything I have today (cable, computers, etc) to go back in time and do it all again (only in the 40s or 50s would be good).
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