I think he is trying to tell me I am making him mad when I leave him home...nm
Posted By: blondie on 2008-02-03
In Reply to: Usually, they are trying to tell you something when they are destructive. - Cee
;;
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Even a big man is not home 24/7. Leave while he is gone
d
No One Can Ask You To Leave Your Own Home
It does not matter whose name the house is in. Do you live in a community property state? Most of them are. The house is community/marital property even if it is in his name. Let him try to sell it without you signing to do that. He can not do that and he can not tell you to leave, no matter how much notice he gives you. HE SAYS he spoke with a lawyer who gave him that bit of advice?? Oh really??? Then tell him to have that lawyer speak to you and tell you that you have to leave YOUR home. That's right - YOUR home. You are married, right? He cannot make you leave.
Since it has come to this, though, I would start getting my ducks in a row financially and otherwise because it sounds like the beginning of the end, no matter how long that takes. To thine own self be true!! Start socking away your possessions and money without his knowledge as previously advised. Hopefully YOU will decide when it is time to go and you will be prepared. People always think they will patch things up and not have to worry about it. Not true. Eventually this WILL play out. Be ready. My heart goes out to you. Please take care of YOURSELF.
Anyone know other ways of making at-home money sm
I have been transcribing for over 12 years - and I do like the profession and I am grateful that it has allowed me to stay home with my children. But I am getting sort of burned out....and want to do something different for a while at home. Have been looking at all sorts of online sites that advertise working from home but I don't know which are legit. I know this is an MT site but does anyone do anything other than MTing that has been successful? I am thinking of maybe doing MTing part-time to stay up-to-date with it, and doing something else part-time, or maybe just taking a break from MTing for a while altogether. Any ideas would be appreciated.
Note to self: Never again leave home without a back-up outfit!
.
Anyone have plans for the Superbowl? Staying home, going to friends, making food,
Leave some open boxes of baking soda inside and maybe search for carbon filters to leave in there,
s
Buy a home of my own - not a palace, but more of a smallish home on a large piece of land. (nm)
.
Anyone move from a single family home to mobile home? sm
I own and live in a house in a midwest city in a bad neighborhood (wasn't that bad 11 years ago). I spent the day waiting for the plumber to come and jackhammer the foundation (slab house, no basement) to find a leaky pipe that is flooding my DD's bedroom. Last week, it was the electrician with quotes for costly repairs.
In the meantime, I've really been thinking about selling out and moving into a mobile home. Has anyone done this before? Is a mobile home in a decent park less of a hassle than a regular house? I'm so tired of cutting the grass and spending $$ to fix things and tired of old flooring and cabinets, etc., that are just too costly to replace. I'm single with no man to do these things for me and I can't afford a mortgage on a newer house in a good neighborhood. Some of the pictures I've seen of the mobile homes look really nice and modern on the inside.
Any advice and comments appreciated. Thanks!
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
Daniel had a home, a very good home...
with someone in my family at one point.
She met her late husband at a club down the freeway from me. It's not a fancy place, like you say.
She does have a real brother though. That was the connection on our part.
I agree, though. It is sad that all this is coming out the way it is. I believe she was a good person...she just had a lot of problems, mainly drugs. What is really sad is that all of this is going to be seen by her daughter one day when she grows up.
Home Alone 1, A Christmas Story, Home for the Holidays, Chevy Chase's Christmas, sm
There "The Gift of the Magi," He sells his gold watch to buy her a comb for her hair and she sells her beautiful long hair to buy him a chain for his gold watch. It used to be on "Short Stories by O'Henry" but that's long gone, long ago. Good moral to the story. I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life" -- too depressing, especially with banks closing, too intimidating right now!!!
I think you are making way too much of it.
My BF of 9 years calls me that all the time when, in fact, it just the opposite--he is my "sugar daddy." If he is worth it, just let it go. People are way too sensitive these days about things.
It is almost making me cry as well now.
 as time approaches. I loved that little Tux cat. I am going to have to get mama cat fixed. I think this is too hard.
If you are not making the $$$ you need
then you double up on jobs, and jobs that will pay, not sitting around waiting on work to come thru. I up until 2004 worked 2 jobs for years and years, for a safety net and both of those would qualify for full time, weekends included. I have now done MT longer than you so I guess I might know jack squat about what I am saying. I never got evicted, never did without food, kept a car, home and everything by myself because I did work so much. Why in the world are you making peanuts working 10-12 hours per day? I know the pay was more years ago, I understand that but if the job is not taking care of your needs, then a person needs to do something else.
Home sweet home.
x
Home, Home, On The Range SM
where the beer and the cantaloupe play . . . where seldom is heard . . . .
What happens at home stays at home. (nm)
:op
She is home, by that I mean she is 1 mile from her home.
I am the one that moved away. My brother lives there, but she requires 24-hour nursing care right now, and he is unable to provide that for her. My son is graduating high school this year and I plan to move back to take care of her, but I just can't until then. I did tell the adminstrator that they have 24 hours to figure this out, and then we will bring in the police. I have also threatened to go to the media, and this facility has a very excellent reputation and is run by the Brethren Church, so I would think they might not want bad publicity. It is a pretty small town and this is one of only a couple of care homes in the area.
Thank you for not making me feel so alone.
Glad your son has quit.
I will have mine read articles and will find pictures on line to show him. I do not think he has a clue as to what can happen to him if he continues this. Like I said he is only 18 and to think about many many years of this is very scary.
He says he wants to quit. I hope he means it and I will help him as much as I can.
I also was surprised by this since he has been so athletic. He always made statements about how he hated the smell of smoke and would never smoke cigarettes. I guess he thinks this is okay and won't do him any harm.
He started over the summer, so I hope it will be easier to quit than to have this go on for years. I will speak to his doctor and dentist also. May be they can help.
Thanks again for your concern. It it good to talk to someone who has been through this. Enjoy the Holidays.
Making candles
I had heard that you can save up the scrap wax from candles in glass jars, melt all of them down and put them back in the containers, adding a wick and scent such as cinnamon. So, I've been saving my containers with the bits of leftover candles. Anyone know how one goes about doing this? Is it possible to do this?
THANKS!
Any parents here making a
to only have one child..? We're seriously considering not having any more..One is PLENTY OF WORK AND LOVE!!
Thanks for making me giggle! nm
!
Thanks for making me laugh!
Cute post! Yes, it is yucky, but you made me laugh this morning. Thanks!
Thanks, for making me laugh.
This is so terribly hurtful. I guess you guessed it is my sister. We have had a history of ups and downs our whole life. I am the one to just let the hurt and hard feelings go to try to have peace. I will try to grin and bear it . . showing some teeth at times. Hope I can do it.
Thank you all for making me feel
a little better about this. I would NEVER get rid of my cats. Once an animal comes into my home, it's for life. I would probably send my husband packing before the cats :)
Mine is just making me sad
When I first got my little boy he and his brother could not stay out all night. They wanted to come into my bedroom and jump on me so I gave them their own bedroom. I made sure they had all the catty things little guys need and tucked them in each night with food, litter box, their treats, whatever. They are past that stage and now know how to behave and I leave them to have the house when I turn in for the night. My little boy now sits right outside his old bedroom and meows. He looks under the door - I keep that closed off now after cleaning up after them - but he knows that is where he stayed when just a small guy and he cries. So pitiful!
Thank you so much! You're making me cry!
I have learned that this is the true meaning of Christmas - giving. There's no greater feeling than watching a child open a present or an older person whose family has forgotten them. That's what Christmas is about for me. God bless you, too! Have a very merry Christmas!
MAKING??? Isn't he a grown man? (nm)
x
You might be right about Him not making trash.
Seems like she has done a good enough job by herself, oh, and her mother right along there. I have said for sometime she was really sick, desperately needing help, needing the attention or else she would not be putting herself in situations such as showing her behind - you nor I have made her do these things- she does these on her own. If her face plastered everywhere, again did you or I do that? Don't think so. She has needed psychiatric help for ages. The part where she cut off her head was a very telling point, same as self abuse. Anyone who has typed psychiatric work before knows about this. Same as multilating yourself and there is another celeb out there who does this, initials LL. This make get taken off the board, I hope not because is truthful. She has been crashing for some time. I wondered when the kids were going to be taken completely out of her care. This should have been done a long time ago for their safety, only supervised visits. Well, guess someone finally saw clear on that. After this required 72 hours of hospitalization she will make the choice to leave, I am sure and it will be a shame. She loves the limelight, though. She is really pitiful.
Yes, you are making the right decision (sm)
I was days away from making that decision myself with my old 20 year old baby, but she took the decision out of my hands, and I am grateful for that. Maybe your baby will too. If not, then she trusts you to do it for her. Hugs.
I think you are making her point, actually.
You describe the "wear their exhaustion as a badge of honor" syndrome.
But I don't think we have it easier that other generations. I don't think we have it harder. It's just relative to the times, roles, etc.
And just because your mom sucked it up, others moms may have not. Mothers' little helpers were a lot easier to get back in the day, trust me, and the kids never even knew...
Yep, a lot is what we decide as women, but you can't just wake up one day and decide you're going to take control. Once in a cycle of self-abuse or whatever one wants to call it, it's a very hard cycle to break, possible, but not easy...
we are and i am making things
finally got my stuff organized and am knitting/crocheting things for people. They may not want what i make but hey, lol.
Candy making
I use chocolate bark to dip with. I do know you have to watch the humidity outside. If the humidity is high, the chocolate will not set, but you can put it in the refrigerator to get it to set. Have fun!!
candy making
Aww, my favorite time of year. You can freeze your candy and it will still be good until Christmas. I make chocolate and peanut butter fudge and freeze it. As a matter of fact, it is really good frozen, takes longer to eat, just melts in your mouth. I have to disguise the candy in the freezer, otherwise people will pick at it and it will be gone by Christmas. YUM!
now you are making sense! sm
I am not being mean, just trying to get you to think! Now you will have to call a domestic abuse person in your state or an attorney and ask what you have to do. BUT if you truly are scared, you can go to a "safe house" tell them your story and I guarantee they will help you. Explain what you have said that you thought you hd waited too long. Also tell them what the cop told you years before. They hve heard it all. I am just trying to get you to leave before its too late. Sometimes it takes a rough push but you CAN do it and do well. Don't ever get it in your head there are no options. There are always options nad always hope as long as there is breath and life!
You are making a lot of generalizations...
and until you know someone's situation, you can only speculate. As far as name brands, should there be a law that those on food stamps can only buy dented cans without labels, bruised fruit, and out-of-date dairy products? Lighten up a bit and don't look down your nose at others...you may be in the same situation some day. Have a little compassion for those not as fortunate as you.
What about making a quilt? s/m
If you feel that you cannot wear them, then possibly select some of your favorite outfits that have memories and have someone make a quilt out of them. Then whenever you are missing her, wrap yourself in the quilt and it will feel like she is giving you a hug...
So sorry for your loss.
you are not making a big deal out of it
Does he have an IEP? What she did is a real problem. Huge. You need to have an advocate at that meeting.
personally I think you are making sm
up most of this stuff to get a fight started. But in case you aren't, I really feel sorry for you. A person who only cares about the "things" they have and can accumulate is a very very sad miserable being.
Its very obvious that you do not like people, are very unfriendly and only care about what you can get. I have news for you, it won't be going with you when you leave this world and the things don't keep you company either. you are pathetic!
Leave Them In
My mom uses hers a lot and she leaves them in. I use hers more than I use mine and I leave mine in, too. I just got it out yesterday after a year of not using it and it still worked.
What about when they just leave their
carts in line, taking their packages and leaving for you to move out of the way. I say Excuse me, is this your cart? How rude.
get him help or leave him
nm
No, but I tell her where I'm going and bye-bye when I leave
s
I do want to leave, but (sm)
him being so agreeable scares me. I want to believe that he has been thinking the same thing and that me being the one to say it makes it easier for him not to be the "bad guy" but I am just scared that he is going to somehow try to cause me problems, I guess I just don't trust him.
Why leave is everything is okay? nm
nm
Take this from me. Leave her alone. Seriously. She will come to you sm
when she is good and ready. I was living in a snowed in town, my baby son was born in the middle of winter, my mom was 3,000 miles away, had my MIL with me, husband went back to work a week after son was born. I DIDN'T WANT ANY COMPANY. I didn't realize it at the time but I was suffering from severe PPD. And anything anyone said or did (sister in laws all acted like you did- confused, hurt, did not understand), all because they've never walked an inch in my shoes. I've been where you're friend now walks. Leave her alone. Let her mom know you are still there for her. Don't you dare give up on her, either, due to being offended. I lost a few so called friends because they couldn't handle the way I acted after my first son was born. My reaction: Good riddance. You were never my true friends anyway.
I could write a book on PPD. This is clearly what she is suffering from. And please don't tell me, "oh, just call me! I can help you! I just want to sit in the room with you!" Please. No. You don't understand. It is a severe mental condition. At this point you need meds, rest, and understanding.
Let me make a long story short. I had this one friend from college who INSISTED on seeing me. She came to the house 5 days after I got home. I LOCKED myself and the baby in the room, sat in the rocker and NEVER once left the room. I didn't want to see her. I, the social butterfly, couldn't understand it at the time, but I will tell you that I resented her "bugging" me like that. Of course, 6 months later, we were friends again. But that day was torture for me.
You don't know what she is going through, like I said. Just be there for her. Pray for her. She will come around. 8 days is too soon to bother with her if she is not ready. Having a baby is a truly precious and personal thing and all women have to deal with this event in their own way.
Women must understand this. Even friends.
Leave
Your last paragraph reveals a lot. You don't respect him and he doesn't respect you. You are not shallow. The two of you have grown apart and he is not the kind of man you want to spend your life with. Cut your losses and get out.
I leave it on
but no one eats it. It's kinda hard so I always thought it had a bone in it and probably would be difficult to take off. From now on I will probably remove it.
Leave now
It will be hard, but you can make it. I left after a nightmare of 10 years. I had 2 kids and not much money, but I got help from the state and survived by sheer will. The happiness of being free and the pride in becoming independent are well worth it. Good luck to you. Go get happy!
leave
You said you stayed with family out of state once before - can you take the kids and do that again? That might be the safest thing - then file for divorce, etc. You know him better than we do - so just trust your instincts and keep yourself and your kids safe - but you do need to get out of that marriage. . Take care and let us know how things are going.
She needs to leave well enough alone. He
might seem like her knight in shining army, but she has built a life with someone else. Obviously, she is not too unhappy to have stayed in her marriage for 25 years. Every once in a while I see my ex-fiance and my heart still gives a little extra thump. Then I stop and look at what I have. I have a wonderful husband of 30 years, 2 beautiful children, 1 adorable grandson. What more could I want. Yeah, the first guy was what some would call the love of my life. That doesn't lessen the love that I feel for my husband. The other man is now into his second marriage and, from all accounts, cheated his way through the first and they divorced after 20 years of marriage. As for my marriage, it's had its ups and downs just like any marriage, but, all in all, it has been very, very good and I wouldn't trade what I have for all the "thumps" in my heart. I could have married him and ended up being the one cheated on and divorced after 20 years. Thank God (quite literally) that I was spared that.
|
