I think finances and stress ALL play a huge part in this. nm
Posted By: Yes on 2007-11-20
In Reply to: 'Tis the season.... - tinkerbell
n
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Yep, I thought daddyo might play a huge part in
nm
Boy, if stress is the trigger, I'm surprised I'm not one big blister. Stress is my middle name
and MT-ing is my game..
Finances . . .
Why? Husband has been laid off since last October, works for father, doesn't want to quit, can't really work anywhere else (not licensed yet). My wages went down when I was whisked out the door by my previous hospital job (stupid EMR/VR). Oh yeah . . . and house is worth about $100,000 less than what we owe :(
I have a lot more that I could add, but since we have to pick just one, I guess I will go with finances. Ain't this economy just a blast? (sarcastic)
GabbyChick . . . I completely understand where you are coming from about having a dream career. It especially sucks when you have put time and effort into what once used to be very comparible to a dream job.
Here's how I handle finances ...
I am doing well when I see others are not but it takes some priorities and discipline.
I have a budget set. I follow it religiously. It took time to develop it. It includes expenses for maintaining the car and home, clothes, gifts, haircuts, emergency saving, long-term saving. If I have a fluctuation in income where I have excess left over - it goes to savings, not in my spending fist.
I have everything I can set up on electronic banking. It helps keep you on track if you cringe at the thought of being overdrawn and messed up on an electronic withdrawal problem!
Income is direct deposited into 3 accounts: Household checking, personal checking and savings. Household checking is where all expenses are paid out of. Savings, self explanatory. Personal checking is the allowance I have for myself from each paycheck. It is my personal spending.
Once the bills are paid, each payperiod I have a set amount I withdraw in cash from household checking. This is for gas/groceries. That is it. When we run out of cash for gas/groceries, we run out.
Don't carry credit/debit cards or checks with you.
Single most important staep you can take: Live below your means. Whatever your income is, subtract 10% for your savings and then live on the rest. No exceptions. No matter what changes you have to make, if you do not do take this one most important step, you will never have any savings and never get ahead.
My husband is oblivious to our finances
Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes not. It sounds like maybe your husband is too proud to tell his family that he can't afford these things. I've had my niece/nephew over for the weekend and it adds up quick. I would suggest talking to the "leader" of his family, the person who hosts the get-togethers, and let them know that you do the finances and you just don't have it this year. It doesn't need to be said in front of everyone or even in front of your husband. I would certainly let your husband know that you are going to say something beforehand, but he doesn't need to be present at the time it's said.
I'm not sure how you do Christmas/birthdays in your family, but in our family, we exchange names for Christmas so we don't have to buy everyone but everyone has something to open. For birthdays, we take the time to call and wish that person a happy birthday. We don't buy for the children unless they are having a party and we've been invited to it. My brother lives about 2 hours away, so we don't always make it to each other's parties for the kids. Unless his family is loaded, I'm sure they'll understand.
As for the glasses, I just took my son for new glasses yesterday. The eye doctor said he needs a new prescription, but I asked if just the lenses could be replaced and the frames reused. He said absolutely. Our insurance covers new frames, lenses and the exam, but my son has a tendency to break things at the most inopportune time. We just bought him these glasses in June because he broke them and according to the insurance, it wasn't time yet for new ones. Now that he is eligible for everything new, we asked for just the lenses. If he breaks his frames later in the year, we can just get new frames (covered by insurance) and pop the lenses in. The only problem there would be is they discontinue his frames because the new lenses probably wouldn't fit a different frame. So, something to consider here is, if your stepchild needs a new prescription and already has glasses, then I would check with your lawyer to see if you can just buy new lenses for the current frames. The frames are what normally cost the most anyway.
Not the last couple sharing finances
I can't imagine having separate money from my husband. We're married and we share everything equally including bills.
The reasoning is that those who are not in control of their own finances (sm)
i.e., bad credit, are more statistically more likely to be tempted to steal.
Anyone with a printer deskjet know why it prints a page with part of it dark and part of it light.
It is not printing uniformly.
It's not the dancing part, it's the people part that I don't like. K? We clear now?
k
Finances were a real sore spot in our marriage for a long time
But my husband was in the military for 12 years, and he was away quite a bit, so I had to take over the finances. When he was home and he was paying the bills, he would get so upset because he felt there wasn't enough money and "where does all the money go?" "why don't we ever have any left?" was all I heard. I finally told him I was taking them back over because I was sick of hearing that every month. I put everything on MS Money, categorize it, subcategorize it, and add memos, so if he wants to know exactly where the money is going, all he has to do is look.
Funny....he really hasn't complained a whole lot since.
Stress when is enough enough?
Wanted to gab to get some feedback. Right now, it seems like everywhere this MT turns there's stress. DH going through final hearing for child support his ex won't pay for years, she threatening to take the kids away so he has to pay child support, etc. I just switched jobs within the last year, and although I am doing well the one I chose, it has been really stressful trying different MTSOs out to find the right one, or the fairest one. Top it off, my 2nd computer in 6 months just died today and my lovebird cage just fell down from the ceiling wrecking the living room, the cage, and scaring me and the birds half to death. Last week, when my son went for visitation, he wanted to stay home and not go with his dad, he screamed so loud the police chased his dad down in the car, and they came here to make sure he was not a kidnapper. I am not kidding! Look, I am not looking for pity. It just seems that as I sit here and write this to you (who I don't even know), that since I work at home transcribing 6 days a week, am fully involved with my son at home and step kids all the time (no life outside the house to speak of anymore) I am absolutely at a ridiculous point of stress. Any happy coping suggestions in response to this sad situation other than, go to the "mental health board," or "get a life..." etc. Thanks in advance for your kind comments. Just a sister MT trying to cope with job and home and trying to find advice from anyone who has "been there." Thanks.
STRESS
I am so sorry to hear about your friend (coworker). I cry with you. I hope and pray that you can find someone at your facility that will see what is happening and help you make changes!!!
Why can't anyone realize that the stress we face is great?
God Bless You and your other coworkers!!
christmas stress . . .
Due to the high stress nature of my husband's and my parents, we no longer tell them about the children's school events ( I know, sounds horrible, doesn't it?). My husband's father, whom we see three times a year, and has absolutely NO relationship with our children, called the school and found out when their concert was. He and his wife showed up last night, sat in front of us, he said two words to my husband (his son) all night long. When we got home last night and wanted to decorate the tree, my husband blew a gasket. He cannot handle it. It bothered him SO much that his dad showed up that he screamed and yelled at us until my daughter and I were in tears and my sons wanted him to leave. My daughter, lying in bed crying while I tucked her in said "we do this every year, mom". In order to get a grip on the kind of relationship my husband and his father have I would have to go on and on. basically, he adopted my husband when he married my husband's mother years ago. They split up the year we got married. My husband tried very, very unsuccessfully to maintain a relationship with him over the years and finally came to a point where he gave up. We have awkward moments and conversation when we are together. We have nothing in common, they don't really care about the kids, because they are not there to actually spend time with them and get to know them. We prayed for my husband last night, and my daughter asked me if something happened in his childhood. How do I get my husband to deal with this so we don't have to go through this every year?????
My solution to your stress
just BEAT HIM. LOL. J/K of course.
I would be upset too. Look for another company to go through. Unreal.
you are in posttraumatic stress right now--sm
go to the ER. Have someone drive you, if you feel you may leave the car running again. They will be sympathetic and guide you as to what is appropriate care for you. I feel your pain! My children's father took his own life on Father's Day two years ago and a cousin of mine took his own life less than a month later. I know the feeling, believe me. You will get better though, trust me. good luck to you and keep us all informed. you need compassionate friends right now, too. {{hugs}}
stress causes it too, my child has it....
and is also on metformin which causes more problems....has been to the GI doc who is really not much help....in this case, stress causes it...child doesn't drink....26 y/o.....
hope you feel better.....google IBS - you'll learn how to cope/deal....
stress, work, stress, work, stress, work
X
What do you do for stress relief?
I am having a tough time blowing off steam lately and looking for some stress relief ideas...some for in the moment and some for just routine daily/weekly life stress.
I am pregnant so moods are crazy and I am just having difficulty letting go of even the smallest of things. Looking for some pointers, ideas, suggestions.
My garden tub used to do the trick but now that I work until late at night and have a child home from school for the summer, it is difficult to find the time for that or mani/pedis which I also used to enjoy.
stress reduction
My ex-hub wrote some papers while he was doing his PhD in psychology on stress reduction. I typed his papers both before and after we were divorced. It made sense to me. One of the things he said that you work all week to make a paycheck to pay your bills. He said you have to consider yourself "a bill out of your paycheck that needs to be paid" just like any other bill that you owe. You need to pay a bill owed to yourself for hard work in the form of whatever you can afford out of each paycheck no matter what the amount that you may deem to afford meaning a new outfit, pedicure, meal out, movie, whatever makes you relaxed and feel happy. Set an amount aside even if it is just $20-$25. It gives you something to looks forward to. We have been divorced for 15 years, but I still remember this and still do this. It makes me feel good because I know I have to pay this bill to myself and it makes me feel good.
I wouldn't stress.
I had my baby natural childbirth. It really wasn't so bad. By the time it gets to where you can't stand it anymore, it's time to push. When you push through a contraction, you don't feel pain anymore just pressure. During labor I just kept thinking, this time tomorrow I will be holding my baby.
While I was pregnant, friends and family delighted in telling me their horror stories about childbirth. Don't listen to them. Everyone's experience is different. I figured if it was that bad everyone would only do it once, right?
I did take my sister's advice though. She's an RN on L&D and she said the nurses are there to help you, don't get mean and nasty with them or they will go away and only come back when they have to.
My friend had an epidural and suffered from severe headaches for months afterwards. I've heard of women having back problems, leg problems with them. I don't think I would ever advise anyone to get an epidural.
Yes, definitely a stress point in a marriage....sm
As for taking charge, I think we have to as they simply wont. I mean someone does need to be "in charge" so to speak...it is their place to be "head" of the house, but most dont take that place, they dont want that place, the responsibility that it brings.
I often think of the fact that if I died while my children are young they would have to live with my sister....seriously. He would not be able to take care of them, and not talking just financial, he literally would not be able to take care of them. It is sad to feel like that about it. Just how it is.
You're not weird. Maybe you can stress that you'd like it to be just old
s
They are big-time stress reliever!
I play what my brother calls 'girly' games - Final Fantasy, tetris, etc. I also have a couple murder mystery-type games, but I have to watch playing them when I'm home alone because I'll scare myself! I know it's pathetic but some of those games have things that jump out at you! I guess that's why I stick to the 'girly' games! LOL
Anybody have stress bother them and then get sick?
Ever since I have been stressed over a certain situation in transcription, and my family's budget I have become extremely tired and it is really hard to get my line count. Every day as the pressure builds regarding this my line count gets lower, no matter how hard I try. Anybody in this situation or ever been, I'd appreciate advice. I am trying stress busters, exercising, reading books, taking time to go outside, but nothing is working.
Every time I sit down to type, I just get more and more worried and I can't produce! It is like my heart is going on strike against the position I have because there are problems with the situation and it makes my money situation even worse. My husband is very understanding but this has got to stop. I want to feel good about my job again and my production. If you say get another job, I understand about that, but what about until the other job starts, what do I do? Arrrggggg. I know life is no picnic but it could at least provide piece of mind so I can do my job! Thanks in advance for any and every suggestion or advice. It will be well appreciated
If she's such a good kid, why stress her more by making her pay
for car/gas/insurance? I think that making good grades and having extracurricular school activities are enough. If she has to work also then something might slip, probably her grades. My girls, now 30 and 33, did theater, choir, drill team and we took care of the car. They did not turn out to be slackers. Maybe taking her siblings to school and running errands is enough of a payment.
Believe it or not, my favorite stress reliever is
SEX. Seriously.
Anyone on Lexapro for stress and anxiety?
Do you like it? Is it working for you?
Stress - thanks all for yesterday - got the Bach and the multi-Bs (sm)
Still stressing but feeling much better today. Didn't get out until 8 pm last night to make my purchases and still had a rough night, but this morning I am much calmer. Thanks to everyone who had any comments or suggestrions - I really needed you guys yesterday and appreciate you being there!
Emotional upset and stress. Such as reading MT
x
Nothing too huge, but sm
DD is struggling with college and taking classes that are out of her area of emphasis AND ones she didn't have enough high school prerequisites to do well. She tells me she has a solid C in one and should have a C in chem. She was afraid she was going to end up on academic and financial aid suspension, but it doesn't look likely now. She is changing her major AT LAST to journalism!
I have a wonderful job, money in the bank and food in the house. This might seem smallish, but many don't have this. I remember when I could not have all 3 at once.
My house is nearly clean. I have been fixing it up, reorganizing and moving stuff for what seems like forever (okay, only 20 months) and I am finally able to actually clean it as in clean and tidy. It is feeling really good.
The dog got a bath last night. She is cute, fluffy, sweet and smells like jasmine. She is more loveable than ever right now too.
I would say that you have every reason to have panic attacks what with all the stress you've SM
been under. I take Effexor XR for my painic attacks and atenolol to help control my BP and it keeps my heart rate down. The combination works wonderfully, although I wonder if I've become a little too dependent on it as I sometimes get a little anxious at the thought of being without my Effexor.
I would have periodic episodes of anxiousness going all the way back to my teenage years, but I would always work through it myself. Then a year ago, in the midst of marital trouble and feeling alone as I lived two states away from friends and family, I started having what I now know to be gallbladder pain while I was at work. In my mind, I knew I wasn't having a heart attack, the pain was in my right rib cage and radiated around to my right scapula. But I couldn't seem to convince my body. My heart started racing, my mind was racing. I felt dizzy and short of breath. I went to the employee health nurse who took my BP and it was sky high. She immediately rushed me to the ER which freaked me out even further.
Long story short, I was having a full blown panic attack and I hope that I never experience anything like that again. I ended up crying for three weeks straight, was afraid be left alone, was afraid to leave my house, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, would pace the house with my heart racing, not able to calm myself down.
I saw three different doctors before I found a female doctor who listened to me and told me she knew exactly what I was talking about because her daughter had panick attacks too. She started me on Effexor and set me up with a therapist who taught me breathing techniques and meditation techniques to help calm myself when I feel anxious. One technique, as simple as it sounds, is something I practice almost daily which is deep breathing: in through your nose and out through your mouth and as you exhale allow your body to relax starting from the shoulders down. It seems silly, but it really works. I noticed that I clenched my jaw a lot and so that is were I focus my mind when I'm trying to relax. I focus on the tension in my jaw and start relaxing from there down.
Exercise is another great technique for relieving anxiety and stress. All the experts say that, and it's true. Just getting outside and walking can clear the mind.
Well, I've rambled on and on. Sorry about that. Let me just add one more thing, if you decide to try medication, my advice would be to be patient. Sometimes it takes a few different trials of medication before you find the one that fits. My doctor explained to me that panick attacks are caused by an overactive fight or flight response in the brain and so SSRI antidepressants like Zoloft or Celexa won't do the trick. You have to have a NRI (norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) to calm the response.
I'm not saying you need medicine, but I am saying that you may want to get a handle on it now so you don't have to go through what I did. I can't even explain how horrible it feels to have your mind spinning of control. I felt like I was genuinely losing my mind.
Well, anyway I feel for you and I wish you well.
I'm one of the few Grinches here who agrees with you. Enough w/the stress & extra calories in the
s
I agree. Hand him the headphones to have a listen. And stress how
s
Definitely stress. Cops said once that Xmas eve with alcohol & money
s
Stress to vet office this is urgent or call emerg. vet.
x
I keep it in the office part time and on the patio part time
I've got the self-cleaning electric litter box (and boy is it worth the $100), and have a huge throw rug under it with a smaller rug by the litter pan that has a bumpy mat on top of it to catch the excess. I keep it in the office from April to October but on the patio from October to March as it is too hot in FL to leave the patio door open for them during the summer months. I also put out a spare box when we go out of town for the weekend.
Try a box that has deeper sides maybe, or not as much litter in it?
Years ago I liked her but her ego has gotten huge ....sm
and her mouth just runs off with whatever she wants to say to try to get a popular vote. I'm glad he's standing up to her and her untruthful rantings and ravings.
I would have a huge garden - nm
nm
Hercules because he will get huge!
nm
There is a huge difference between ...sm
spanking and beating. My dad used to get out his belt when I was bad. And I mean, I deserved it. Those lessons stuck in my brain, and I did not EVER break that rule again, not out of fear, but respect and I always thought twice about breaking any other rules. Even after I was past the age of spankings. I do not spank my kids with a belt, I cannot bring myself to do that, but I do not fault my dad for doing it to me when I deserved it. I also am a very nonviolent person. I will spank my kids when all the time outs and talking to don't work and nothing else seems to make the lesson stick in their head. They do not have bruises, they are not scared of me, they are happy kids. I think if a lot of other kids would have gotten the spankings they deserved when they were growing up to learn those lessons, they would not have been out shooting people or beating others up and have the issues they do now. And no, I did not grow up in the 50s. I am only 30 years old.
That would be a HUGE no for us - please see inside
Please don't get me wrong, churches are fine for those who believe in that sort of thing. We've been that route. We are very spiritual people but we are in no way religious. We don't believe in the creator the same way and we don't believe in the bible. Certain parts of it (for historical purposes) are fine but too much has been put into it by men that well, that's just for a different post. I just don't believe most of it is true and just another form of brainwashing for most. We don't believe in heaven or h*ll (as in physical places you go to after you die). It just doesn't exist. Heaven and h*ll is a state of mind one is in. Good and evil is in each one of us and what we do with our lives and how we treat others and live determines if we are a good person or not. Once we die we will not either go to a place in the sky floating on clouds kneeling reciting scriptures over and over and over, and neither will we go to a place down below where they claim people will be ripped to shreds being tortured over and over in pain for all eternity. Just isn't so.
If we follow any "religion" our beliefs are in the lines of Paganism (even though being a pagan is not a religion, it is a way of life). This idea (again in my opinion, so please don't anyone take this personal), but the idea that there is a "God" out there "controlling" everything is just absurd to me. There is no God out there determining what happens to our lives on a day to day basis and dishing out to us only what we can handle. We determine what happens in our lives by ourselves.
Believe me, I've been through the "religious" route. Spent birth til 12th grade going to episcopalean and methodist services and sunday school, 12th grade took classes and switched to catholic church for about two years. In my 20's I went to catholic and protestant services. After I moved away from home. I had a jewish friend and he took me to his synagogue for about 6 or 7 months. I moved again and had a friend who took me to her mormon services for about a year. Moved again and attended Baptist services for a couple months and then switched to some religion where it was just way way way creepy where everyone raised their hands in the air, closed their eyes and were chanting out things while people in the back were what I've read called "barking", and others standing around speaking mumbo jumbo that they claimed was speaking in tongues. I think they called their services charismatic. I lasted about 5 or 6 services with them and felt too creeped out and there was just something I can only describe as "evil" about it. So, I would say I've had a pretty well-rounded experience with different religions, and they are all far from what I believe in my heart. The path that I take with my creator is a personal one that I do not share with others. As for God...there is no "Him" to trust therefore no "His hands" to put my life in. There is a creator out there but the creator is not the "Him" that everyone talks about. After being out of all the different services I feel more connected with the creater than I ever did sitting in any of those buildings listening to what I can only describe as brainwashing (especially when they would post scriptures/passages from the bible, but change it a little to benefit what they were discussing). AGAIN, I have to repeat over and over and over to anyone who reads this, these are only my feelings and thoughts. I believe that everyone is entitled to believe what they want and if it works for you and you enjoy your life because of your worshipping and services then that's great for you. Just is not for me.
275 isn't that huge either - Now 475, I could see needing sm
a non-human MRI machine but 275? There are football players who fit that description.
They did a huge article on him
in Homelife magazine. It is amazing the faith and courage he has after all he has been through!
I am a huge Scrubs fan .. did you know . . .
if you go to Hulu.com, you can watch all the episodes of Scrubs and many, many other shows? For free!! That's how I get caught up on a lot of my shows, like Brothers and Sisters!!
That would be a huge NO - see message
I heard about that story. I think it's horrible. She is his mom and if she wants to try holistic help instead of the killer chemo drugs she has every right as a parent to do that. Who in the world does the government think they are sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong. Since when is it the govt's position to tell a parent how they should be able to treat their own child. I'm a firm believer in natural medicines. I try anything before taking an aspirin. I also type oncology reports, and also my mom, grandmother, cousin, and sister-in-law all had cancer and they went the chemo route. They all got sick as anything, suffered horribly, and ended up dying. Very rarely will you hear of someone being cured with chemo. Chemo is a killer drug and the only thing it does is make the pharmaceutical companies richer while the patients suffer horrible horrible pain and death. (remember that everything I say is all just my opinion). I think what this is doing is that the people who want to go the natural route if they suspect they have cancer they probably will not go to the doctor to get a diagnosis because then their name will be turned in and they will be forced to undergo this killer treatment. It just urks me to no end that the govt is ordering the mother to have her child treated with chemo. They need to keep their noses where it don't belong. I hope the mother is able to get the holistic help she is seeking and I think anyone who turns them in is a piece of dirt (in my humble opinion). Sorry, think I went off there, I just get so frustrated with govt sticking their noses in where it doesn't belong, and the pharmaceutical companies having such control over this.
Get some B-stress vitamins, Bach Rescue Remedy spray (sm)
Valerian Root to help you sleep. If all else fails ask the doc for something temporary for stress. I have been so stressed out before I couldn't stand it. Best wishes to you! I hope things get better soon. Take a day off!! A mental health day! Be lazy, take a hot bath, take a long walk.
I have a plumbago and it's huge. I love it. sm
I had one when I lived in Minnesota and it came back every year despite the long, cold winters. Down here it has gotten a touch of a freeze but it's still flourishing. They bring butterflies and hummingbirds (unlike my hummingbird feeder).
My father's 4th wedding was HUGE
They had a big Victorian wedding. They had a huge rehersal dinner, wedding and reception. She was married once before and had a small wedding. She wanted a big wedding. Maybe your father and this lady want to have a party with their friends and family?
What zoo still has iron cages. Most have huge
x
Explain the huge difference please. (sm)
Is it between alcohol and pot, crack and mushrooms, crank and LSD? Please, explain to me the huge difference. To me, all drugs are drugs, but maybe some are more preferential to you.
Yes, I made a huge change.
I work outside at a garden center now. The money isn't great, but it's hourly and fair, I'd say. No more being prevented from working because of equipment failure or low work. I love getting out of the house and working with people. I make a difference where I work. Surgical tech is something I looked into, but I don't think I'd like early hours or being locked in one position holding retractors for hours. I might fall asleep standing up. Interestingly, I read about a trend of having OR rooms warmer, which the surgeons HATE, but it seems to be better for the patients. When I was a secretary in the OR, I froze, but I wasn't standing under hot OR lights. Another consideration is whether you are affected by smells. It can be stinky work. The nurses complained particularly about all the cauterization smells during breast surgery, more so than intestinal/rectal surgery, oddly enough.
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