I think I'm going crazy - need some insight (long)

• I think I'm going crazy - need some insight (long) - anon(but a different one)
  • me and my husband actually have a - name for that
  • If you work at home, maybe these - truffle
  • Life, partly, is a series - Pam
    • Amen to that. sm - mom of 2 young girls.
      • You have exactly the right idea - Pam
  • Question - ?
    • yes I did - anon(but a different one)
      • WAIT... - ?
      • LOL, you sound like me - ?
      • addicted to chaos - name for that
  • No you are not nuts, just what iffing yourself - sm -
  • do you know the song...'Is that all there is?'....nm - *
  • You will be fine. I got married sm - MT TOO LONG
  • You'll be fine.... - sm
  • "GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE." - Nature
    • Dont worry//// - GA_MT
    • I'm not thinking about divorce - anon(but a different one)
      • Just my opinion: If you feel like that something - *
        • Not really - anon(but a different one)

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I quit writing in my diary when the real stuff started happening.  I don't think my mom ever read my diary, but when I started dating, I quit writing.  I figured a paper trail probably wasn't a good idea.  I did, however, keep a box full of love letters that probably would have given a very accurate timeline of my romantic escapades.

As for your situation, it sounds like you know your daughter pretty well.  Just watch her mood swings, etc, for signs.  You'll know when -- my mom definitely knew.

I'm just sorry that it's coming from personal experience.  So much of what you say does sound like my son.  I have definitely zoomed in on the impulsivity of his actions.  I had brought that up to the child psychologist and he said that it's something to watch to see if he grows out of it.  I'm not expecting that to happen.  I manage the best I can and it's from day to day.  When we go places, sometimes its good and sometimes not.  It seems when we all go together, it doesn't go as well.  I'm guessing because he's not getting as much of the attention as he would like. 

I'm curious how you feel about the injury your son is doing to his siblings.  I feel so guilty and sorry for my son's actions towards my other children, but how do you deal with that?  I don't want him taken away from us or locked up, but yet I know I need to protect my other children.  He doesn't act out all the time.  In fact, this week is the worst he's been all summer. 

No alkies on either side of the family (thank heavens for small blessings).  Although, I do believe there is some bipolar or other type of mental illness on my side of the family (aunts, cousins).  I got some real kooks for relatives.  I've mentioned this to the child psychologist also, but he doesn't seem overly concerned about my son's actions.  He almost acts like it's something he will outgrow or something that can be changed through behavior modification.  I'm not that optimistic.  I personally think it's just my child's temperament.  He's always been difficult, even as an infant. 

Well, I can't deal with this anymore tonight.  I'm off to bed.  My son is having a sleepover at his great-grandma's tonight and I'm sure he'll be fine.  She says she "don't take his sh!t and he knows it"  I wish he felt that way about me.  At least I can count on a peaceful morning tomorrow!  Thanks again for letting me know I'm not the only one.  It helps more than you can imagine.

I wonder if anybody has any insight into my son's behavior and performance in school.  His dad and I have talked until we are blue in the face and we have also left him alone and have given him space regarding his grades.  Neither causes any change.  He just keeps telling us he doesn't care about high school and that it does not matter.  He has no respect for the teachers (not many of them take teaching very seriously, in all honesty, so I can't much blame him for that) and he doesn't feel like he should try since they don't. 

This is a kid who scores in the 98 to 99th percentile on standardized testing.  He is SO smart, friendly, outgoing, quick-witted, and for the most part respectful.  He doesn't smoke or drink or do drugs.  He plays guitar in the praise band at church.  He is a good kid, but he just refuses to do his school work. 

This has been a struggle for the past 4 years of high school.  He is supposed to graduate in May, but the last 9 weeks report card came today and he got 2 F's, a D and a C. The 2 F's were gimme classes, believe it or not.  If he doesn't bring those up to average a passing grade he won't graduate.  It makes me sad, confused, frustrated beyond belief, worried, just to name a few emotions. 

He says he thinks he has ADD but I think he just WANTS to have it so he can have a pass, so to speak.  I think it could be some deeper problem, like our family dynamics, playing a role.  Does anybody have any ideas on how this boy can be inspired to rise to meet even the smallest challenge?

I wondered that too if all the houses gone up that much.  I know they did some remodeling since they bought it 5 years ago but we have done some remodeling in this house too (same kind of remodeling)  but I won't dare think it would sell for 66% above what we originally paided for it. 

Than again, I would have to get an expert to come through here and tell me what they think it might sell for.  I have not a clue. 

My gut feeling  tells me that they need to come down.  I saw the new house they were moving too.  It is a huge, two story, maybe $300K home.   DH and I think they have jacked up the price on this other home in order to help pay for the one they are in now.

 Then other things would have to factor in like property taxes, cost of utilities which I know all that would be more than what we are paying now for this little house we are in now. "sigh"  Oh well, maybe one day we will have something bigger. 

I have not had a man in my life for the past 3.5 years.  I have tried dating and get asked out all the time, but just no interest in the ones doing the asking I guess.  I have a very comfortable life and truly am in no need for a man to take care of me.  However, I have known this one particular man for over a year and just very recently our friendship seems to be heading to a different level and for the first time I am very attracted to him.  So, the other day he e-mailed me and both of us came clean on our feelings.  The problem is that he has had his present girlfriend for the past 7 years...they do not live together and really spend little time together, as their lives are significantly different and when asked why he simply states "it just isn't working out and that he could make more time to see her, but he doesn't"

Okay, so now I know I am going to get flamed, but where do you think it goes from here?  Both him and I have a seminar to attend with another man in 2 weeks and will also be staying at the same hotel,  etc. and I am just so confused as to how I go about keeping my distance but still wanting him.  What to do, what to do......this has been on my mind all day and so has he and I am so not use to these feelings at all....like high school all over again.

There is a man (very good looking I might add) who goes to our church.  He is newly single, having been divorced about 3 months.  I am single, having been divorced about 4 years.  We have known each other since I was about 14 or so. He is about 11 years older than me, which is not a problem (for me anyway) We have a lot in common, having both been single parents, both of us raising only 1 child, boys.  I REALLY like him.  He is smart, funny and just an all around good guy.  He is not perfect, I know that.  But he has had some ATROCIOUS luck with women.  Ditto me with guys.  He has come to church off and on, not steady but from all apperances he is back to stay now. 

Question:  should I let myself like him?  I am kinda shy, and lord knows that I am not Miss Teen USA but I think I am a pretty nice person.  He is pretty flirty towards me (in a NICE way) but I am scared that I will run him off if I flirt back but at the same time, I don't want him to think I am a snob. 

I have had him fix my computer (he is a computer whiz) and I baked him a cherry pie and that went well.  I need all the advice that I can get (prayer would not go amiss either!)

I am in my mid 30s and currently having orthodontic treatment done. The doctor is so sweet (great looking too!).  I find him staring at me whenever I come in there, unusually so.  He's very, very attentive to me when he sees me.  Fast forward to yesterday. I paid all of treatment within 3 months using insurance and cash (close to 5,000) and I received a letter today. He told me that he was so impressed with the way I set goals to pay my treatment in such a short time.  Then he went on to say he was "looking forward to getting to know me better."

Okay. I was a little shocked. Is this normal? I've never had this happen before. It was a personal, hand written note.

Anyways, just wondering what your thoughts would be on this.  He is the kindest, gentlest doctor I've ever been around.  But, that's besides the point.

Just wanted to share this with you all. Not really looking for advice. Just thought it was weird.

I'm in a phase of craving cold water and ice like crazy these days.  Anybody know what that means, besides perhaps anemia?  I was anemic a while back, but got that taken care of and don't see any reason I should be again.  I've been cutting back on sugar and dieting a little bit, wondering if that could be it?

Whatch'all think?

People go insane during the holiday shopping season.

Sounds like he has a good heart but other problems. You could ask him if you could both go on an alcohol-free stay at the hotel? Most hotels have a pool, suana, etc., and since alcohol dulls your senses, etc., wouldn't it be nice to start the new year out sober and clean or clean and sober, whatever! If you drink as well, it may be nice for both of you to pour all the alcohol down the sink together forever. Not only will you two be happier, but what a gift to your children! Alcohol could be causing him to act peculiar. Alcoholism is an allergy of the body and a craving of the brain or obsession of the mind, in my estimation. There are so much better things in life! Just my humble opinion. You sound strong enough to carry out a plan and if it doesn't work, then take the next necessary step. Good luck!

PS: You could tell him that your marital relations will improve in the bedroom without alcohol, that's a fact as well. Sounds like a good guy gone wrong to me.

I was wondering if anyone had ever made a crazy quilt just by sewing old scrap material onto a sheet.  I inherited a sewing machine and tons of scrap material.  I also still have my children's old baby clothes I could use.  Mom said it comes out too heavy doing it that way.  I don't know if there is a special way to do it.  I don't know how to quilt.  I am afraid though If I get someone else to do it, they would charge me an arm and a leg.  Does anyone out there have any information on this? H and I could really use something this winter.  The old quilt I have on there has a hole in it. 

I had already been kicking this idea around in my head, then I stumbled across some other people going cool things....

I live in a city. I mean IN a city, not KINDA near a city, but IN a city. I started looking at http://www.urbanfarming.org/ They get people growing things, including youth, and including food banks and such. I went to the auditor's site to look up the owners of a few vacant lots near me. Is this an insane project to even consider? I was going to try starting it from the ground up, so to speak, but then I bumbled across people already doing it, just not here yet!

Best of luck - if ya give him space, he might come a-runnin.....he also might be *gun-shy* at the moment...being only 3 months out....

Prayers comin' your way!! 

Ever see the movie "Clueless?"  There's this GREAT line where the father tells this boy that if he doesn't have his daughter home safe and sound at the end of the date, "I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anyone would miss you." 

Freakin' kills me! 

Two stories:

First is lady who lives upstairs, is retired, likes to wake up with gin and set the sun with it. This woman HAS to win the award for the biggest busybody ever born. I've tried to be friendly (10 apartments on this side...I'm on the bottom level). If someone's car tags expired yesterday, she is asking management to have it hauled. If someone's dog looks like it's going to poop, she is going over to ask the owner if they plan to clean it up.  She walks around the parking lot to critique how clean people keep their cars.  Two other neighbors above me have banned her from talking to them because she is so intrusive, so she started fixating on me

My son moved out about 45 days ago and left his broken down car and guess what? The tag expired. Two weeks ago she accidentally told me she was after mgmt to  get it towed. I looked at her and asked her if she was trying to get my son's car towed. Oh, no, she didn't mean it like that. I couldn't help it.  I said, "you mean you didn't mean to say that to my face, right?" I told her keep her nose out of my business and I got the car towed within 3 days and blocked her phone number on my phone. She knocked on my door yesterday (my son was pulling up to come in to sign the title and I was getting ready for a doctor appointment). I thought it was my son when she knocked and I opened the door. She wanted to talk to me about my across-the-hall neighbor's garbage (see next story) that had been pulled apart by cats in the breezeway...I told her I didn't have time cuz of the appt and started to shut the door.  She put out her arm and pushed my door back open into my apartment, making me have to step backward. I was floored! I told her she didn't have the right to use her body to keep me from closing my own front door. I told her to move her arm ...now! She didn't drop her arm, but the pressure lessened and I was able to close the door.  I heard voices and my door opened by my son.  He had heard what was said and she was trying to get him to tell me something.  He just shook his head and said, "not my problem!" Arggh! I did stop at the office on the way out to let them know about the garbage and what happened with the neighbor. Other than just avoiding her as I have been doing (which I think is the best approach) is to file a complaint at the sheriff's office.  If something else happens within 12 months of the complaint, I could get a restraining order on her.

Story Two - even better - Across-the-hall trash lady who leaves out her plastic garbage bags 1 or 2 times a week. Since she started that, cats, insects and vermin have infested my home, so I call the office to ask them to place give her a reminder notice that leaving out trash is not allowed. I'm never ugly about it even though I have had to get a professional pest control service and I have caught one rat and one mouse since she started this.  I have never gotten along with this woman. My first interaction with her told me she has an abbrasive personality, so I just smile, say hi, quick chit chat, but nothing personal.  The first neighbor introduced us because new neighbor was taking her 3 yo son with her to work and it was causing her problems on the job...so first neighbor knocked on my door, introduced us and told her that since I stay home and had a 3 yo, I could keep HER kid too!   We exchanged phone numbers to "think about it" and I told her it wouldn't work as we worked different shifts (I thought that was a gracious passive-aggressive way to handle it). The longer she has lived here, the more the phrase comes to my mind.."you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but..."  So today I come home from picking up my kid from daycare to find a puppy out in the trash and huge boxes of used toys she hasn't gotten to the dumpster yet in the breezeway. The puppy comes right over to my 4 yo (who is thrilled) and starts peeing on her shoes   The neighbor's sister who moved in to babysit came out the door saying she dropped her phone in the tub, it won't work, can she use mine.  I tell her I'm using mine to work, so not now. I ask her if that is their dog.  Yes. I tell her that I think I just don't know if I can handle all the trash in the breezeway, plus a dog that relieves itself just outside my door, too. She denied the dog did that and as I was pointing out the puddles, there it was.  The cutest little pile of steaming brownies 2 inches from my door jam. Oh, HE didn't do it! yeah, right! But, sister said she would clean it up.  I told her I'd be glad to watch the dog while she did that. She got mad, but I didn't believe she was going to clean it up. When the neighbor got home, she called me and was screaming about how ugly I treated her sister! I told her if she couldn't talk calmly, conversation was over.  She couldn't, I hung up. She called back in same manner.  I told her don't call me again or I would report her for annoying phone calls and hung up.  Yep, 8 calls later she finally left a message on voice mail admitting it was her dog.

So here is my question - I already made a tape copy to possibly take to mgmt to see if she has paid her $500 pet deposit - do I do that?  I went online and filled an annoyance call record with the phone company (all the calls were on my caller ID). That's out of my hands. After she left the message, I heard her come out into the breezeway and start yelling at me through the door. I ignored her. She is one of those who has to WIN and I wouldn't be surprised if strange things started happening.  Do I file a complaint at the sherrif's for both these things (I'll be the one looking like a nut!), do I find a lawyer to get me out of my lease, do I install a hidden camera to feel a little more secure, or just be a hermit until my lease is up Feb 1?

Anybody have any suggestions? I hate this kind of stuff.  Why can't we all just get along?  Where is that poster who set the visiting neighbor's kid straight about the rules of her house so I can rent her out to handle my problem!!  OMG, I just looked out my peep hole and there is ANOTHER bag of garbage just now put out with yesterday's garbage!!! No Way!!!!