I sort of agree, but generally those kind of men don't
Posted By: change. on 2008-04-02
In Reply to: It seems ridiculous because it is - sm - mollyMT
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I kind of sort of can identify with what you said..sm
I am a mom of three wonderful boys, and grandmother of three beautiful granddaughters. This goes way back, but my own mother does not even know my sons birthdays, much less my granddaughter's birthdays. She knows my sister's kids birthdays though, and their kids birthdays. kind of hurts. My sister has always been her *favorite* so her kids mean more to her than mine do, but then she will *complain* that my kids don't even know her as a grandma. Well, gee, I wonder why? After 37 years of never acknowledging their birthdays, christmas, or any other special day, why would she expect them to consider her their grandmother? If she had taken an interest in them when they were younger, they would be taking an interest in her now. This breaks MY heart, as I know it should be different, but unfortunately the past cannot be changed. So, I know exactly what you are talking about.
I'm the odd one out, but I sort of agree
I do have a child in advanced math. He's in 8th grade taking Algebra and he'll be 14 at the end of the month.
My thing is if your daughter tested well enough to get into this Physics class, then she must be one smart cookie! However, if you encourage her to drop out when in fact she can probably do the work and just has to work a little harder, I think you all will regret it.
A GPA is wonderful to have at high levels; we all know that, but if that high GPA is being earned because the child is in "easy classes", then it doesn't mean much at that point.
I say keep her in the class. She'll get through it, and she may not get a 98%, but she may find it a nice challenge, if she's as smart as you say she is, which I believe she is to be accepted into a Physics class in 9th grade. Let's not kid here!
Good luck to you! I think she'll do great and she just has a little nervousness as maybe it's not coming so easy right now, but it will come! I hope this all makes sense! 
I agree, these do not come off, and sort of stain your lips, lol
But if you reapply the gloss often it looks nice.
I sort of agree; in the past years people miscarried
all the time only didn't even know it because they didn't have the ability to find out they were pregnant after 2 weeks! It is sad but definitely does not compare to losing a living child from disease etc. JMO.
Totally agree. Idol is sort of a farce with the voting
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I'd kind of have to agree here.
need to scrimp. How about selling one of those??? I think we need to count our blessings and stop being so negative.
I kind of agree with the other responder
Not necessarily that you should go over there bragging it up, but the "kill her with kindness" attitude. Let whatever she says/does roll off your back and not bother you. Of course, while your husband may not agree with everything his family does, they are his family, and I'm sure he wants some kind of relationship with them. For your own relationship with him, it is probably best to just go along and "grin and bear it".
In my own situation, my MIL has never been too much of a problem, but some other extended family members are (including MILs sister . . . UGH!) The thought of getting together with the whole bunch makes me ill, so I totally understand how you are feeling. The most important thing is to not let it affect your marriage, and so if you have to bite the bullet a couple of times a year, so be it.
Good luck with whatever you decide, and try to have a Happy Thanksgiving.
It was kind of boring, I agree -PS (I like Phyllis)
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Generally never, but I am tiny -- sm
AA and A - only sag a little on the A side. Much more comfortable without, but do wear one when necessary (i.e. white shirt, dress, etc.)
We like to go mid-July generally - sm
that way it is not right after they got out of school and it breaks up the summer. I also take them on my own up to my dad's for a few days at the end of June and again in August; going again up there last week in August as I am too busy to go earlier.
The "big whoop" is generally...
missed by those who only focus on low prices and fail to notice the impact Wal-Mart has on its neighborhoods, the environment in general, its suppliers, the economy, etc.
Someone above posted a good link which explains the "big whoop."
I wish more people educated themselves before deciding whether or not to shop there. For me, it's not enough to simply have the lowest price.
I think your view does not generally match
up with most.. She looks like a real gold-digger to me. What about others out there?
Steroids generally do not work for
FMS type pain as it is not inflammatory. In fact, steroids made me WAY worse! I'm sure everyone does not have the reaction of making them way worse, but most people with actual FMS do not get relief from steroids. Botox is said to help, although I refuse it because it's not only expensive but is poison (something about that just gets me, LOL).
Narcotics can be wonderful and give you your life back if you have constant pain that doesn't go up and down (as far as the time-released meds go). I was on OxyContin at one time, but I had bad side effects to it, severe drenching sweats and it really didn't do much for my pain as I couldn't raise the dose enough to do much. I have been on multiple different narcotics until I found the right one. I have tried methadone, OxyContin, Kadian, and now I am on a fentanyl patch with breakthrough oxycodone (which for some reason doesn't have the same side effects as the OxyContin did, probably because it's not time released). At any rate, it took a while to find the right drug, but the Fentanyl has been the best fit for me.
It just takes time to find the right med and then the right dose of that med, but hang in there. If one doesn't work, there are a lot of more that can be tried. I will say this, not a single one of the meds that I tried gave made me too tired or "out of it." You don't get a high feeling from it or way too fatigued as long as you do have severe pain. It just takes some of the pain away. In fact, I feel LESS fatigue on the medications since just being in constant pain is exhausting. Once some of the pain is taken away, you will not believe the difference.
Good luck to you and anyone else suffering with chronic pain. Although they can't take it all away, they can make your quality of life much better! I have been on long-term opioid therapy for a long time and have suffered with chronic pain since I was around 20 at least. Feel free to post again or e-mail me if you have any questions. 
we generally give $4, my DH usually tips 20% - sm
everywhere we go, also for pickup orders as well which I am sure most people don't do but should do something (I do 10-15% when I pick it up, depends on the place).
I don't feed sea gulls. It's generally a bad idea.
It's not a good idea to interfere with the feeding habits of any wild animal, and they are wild. They may be very accustomed to having human food, but it's still not right to feed them. The birds do become accustomed to humans as their source of food, and that will encourage them to fly too close to humans. Then, they'll become a nuisance. Do check for signs or other information in the area about feeding the wildlife. I know that in my area, more and more signs are being posted.
That being said, it's also not right for someone to use such language, especially in front of children, or for anyone to throw sand at you. So, I think the other woman's reaction was out of line.
Next time you go to the beach, bring sand toys and leave the bird food at home.
Trolls like this generally are very unhappy people.......... sm
the problem is they don't realize it. She obviously does need people in her life, as evidenced by her posting on this board.
geico(green thing AND cavemen), Sonic, and generally
anything where they YELL AT ME THE WHOLE FRIGGING TIME....
bark, bark, bark, bark
enter the remote...
The drinkin kind or the rubbin kind?? sm
So....is that for me to drink so I don't notice or care that my hands are all splotchy black or to get the ink off?  Seriously though, do I use the rubbing alcohol - or like Jack Daniels?? and do I soak in it or what? I never heard of using alcohol but I'll try anything.
I feel that is best too. I have been kind, very kind, to this ...sm
child since he moved here in March. I also am not one of those parent's that thinks my children are perfect. You never know what they might do out of your presence. I do know how I have raised them though and I am all for getting them all together when there is a problem and getting to the bottom of it but anymore that doesn't seem to work. The parents automatically get defensive and start making excuses, etc. I'm going to look for somewhere else to move. I've lived here for 2-1/2 years and we never had a problem until this boy moved in. His mother is a piece of work.
Sort of. sm
I had root canals on my front teeth and could never get the money to have them capped. On a Sat night before I was to start a new job the following Monday, I bit into a BLT and a front tooth shattered into pieces. A dentist saw me on Sunday emergently and was able to built it back up - I certainly was not going to start a new job missing a front tooth. Good luck.
can anyone help me sort?
I have microsoft word, works, notepad and word pad. i'm wanting to sort a list in alphabetical order. in word, i find sort under tables, but it doesn't sort....?? any other way to do it, or suggestions on why its not sorting the list?
many thanks.
Sort of the same here.
Personally I would rather someone take back the gift than to waste my money by hanging onto something that they don't like or doesn't fit. It is the thought that counts and doesn't bother me.
I am a thrifty person, everyone knows this. My MIL buys me things that I consider frivolous and if I can return them and get something similar for substantially less $ and then use the extra money for something else we need or donate it or take the in-laws to dinner, I will. I know she doesn't like it because she will comment on the items such as "didn't that coffee pot have a timer, clock, and all the gadgets?" Yes, it did but we wouldn't use those features and it was an extra $50. Or a hot chocolate maker that just took up cabinet space and was used once, the day after christmas. I returned it for $45 and bought really nice meat thermometer, which I tell everyone my MIL bought for xmas.
The nice thing is she has always, and for everyone, included the receipts for most items. I would never, ever ask her for the receipt. I have returned things that were purchased with her credit card and had them credit her back. Whether she notices or not, I don't know. I don't say anything because I don't want her to feel odd about it but I just think it's the right thing to do and it's not about the money.
Besides, I tell them every year not to get me anything - I grew up with little at the holiday and family/friends were emphasized. Not the case at the in-laws. They shower everyone with gifts and then everyone departs for home.
I have an HP, but and I sort of have to press
out, but I've got it down now. I think I know what you are talking about, but it just sort of pops out, once you press down on it. Then you have to set the new one in there and click it in by pushing it towards the back. I hope this makes sense. Also, I try to say nice things to my printer, so it will act right. This always worked for faulty copiers and fax machines when I worked on-site. People think I'm weird, can you tell?
Glad (sort of) to know we are not alone
I forgot that my vet also did the skin scrapings and came up negative.
I hope someone will offer some help. I feel so bad for her and when it gets to the point that we are waking up at night...well, I just feel so bad for her.
I will let you know if we arrive at a solution.
I sort of know where you are coming from
with the prices of houses by me. Most people probably don't realize that 400,000 in some areas does not get you much and you probably can't find a 3 bedroom decent house for under 350,000. I think people are getting the wrong impression and thinking you want to live way beyond your means when in reality you just want a decent place to live. As I said, I'm in the same boat and it stinks. Just be careful; sounds like way too much debt to be comfortable with your current situation. Have you thought about moving somewhere cheaper? I am sure your wife can find a job as a nurse anywhere, maybe making even more money; also if she is an RN they can work just weekends and make a full time income. For you, you can always work at home doing MT full time and part time with 2 companies putting in 50 or so hrs a week for now. You'd save on any kind of childcare that way at least while the baby is an infant. But then you may have to put off school. Unfortunately this is what happens. We can't have it all as much as we'd all like to. Sounds like at least you do have a few options, though, the way I see it; so good luck whatever you choose to do.
There must be some sort of natural
repellent on the market that you can spray on the furniture so that when he jumps up there and sniffs around, whatever he does, he won't like it and will get down. I have heard of something similar with cayenne pepper or something in it that keeps them away...Will see if I can find what I am thinking and post it if I can.
What sort of response did you get?
.
Maybe he could be sort of a general fix-it guy
Someone in my area actually has an ad in the paper that says 'Rent-a-Husband'. For household things like building shelves or cabinets, lighting a pilot light, trapping and removing a mouse in the bathroom, or a bat in the garage, things like that. Petsitting and dog-walking are good options for a rent-a-husband, too! Or for busy people, someone to take their car to the shop for a tuneup and oil change, so they don't have to. Back in the 1970's, during the gas 'shortage', when lines for gas were hours long, people made money by taking people's cars to the gas station and filling up for them.
Maybe he could build those cute wooden children's toys you see at the fancier toy stores. And either sell them or give them to organizations that give toys to needy children. If he's 'artsy-craftsy', maybe he can come up with really cute dog-collars & matching leashes, or cute wooden pet-beds that look like miniatures of the real thing. If he likes to write, and is smart, maybe he could start an advice column for soon-to-be-seniors. (Nowadays 61 isn't really a 'senior' - I think it's closer to 75-80!) Or, if he likes kids, maybe a 'rent-a-grandpa'! Or else maybe a small mail-order business, like on eBay.
Well, that's all for my ideas, I need to get to work, myself!
Hope he finds the PERFECT idea!
sort of still keep in contact, but
They didn't go to HS with me. One I've known since probably 1978 when I was 8 and she was 6 and we were visiting here on vacation, then my family moved here and she and I have been BF since 1985...only keep in touch by email and occasional phone calls.
My other one I've known since 1995 and we're in touch by email too.
Our lives are just too complicated and too far apart by distance to really see eachother, but we can catch up instantly with eachother even if it has been a while
To take any sort of antidepressants is
the worst advice one can give. Lexapro and all others are associated with risks of suicide.
Figure it has to be drugs of some sort.....
o
Defending Sanjaya, sort of...sm
Stopped watching during the first season because it was a popularity contest, not a talent contest ("ooh, he/she's HOT--voting to keep him/her"). I hear AI updates on the morning radio show and heard the opinions of Sanjaya, all of which may be true, however:
>>"For those of you who are wondering why Sanjaya - the equivalent of MT outsourcing to India - is still on American Idol..."<<
Ouch. He is a (I believe) 17-year-old kid who entered a contest and seems to be handling the critism a lot better than I could.
>>"...Sanjaya is in that group - he has ruined this show and its integrity."<<
It is the fault of Stern, the sites like you mentioned and clueless voters that have ruined the show. Again, the kid simply entered a contest. If he decides to quit, then he will be criticized for that, too. 
that is sort of the way we started off with our neighbors...
but, then we started to see the real THEM!!!!!, time after time after time...thats why that saying that dr. Phil uses is so true "good fences make good neighbors". we should have never started associated with them in the beginning. up until then i had never even allowed my children to play in the front....I should have kept to me rules.
Sort of. Lost dad in 1983.
My dad died at the age of 61. I was 21 at the time. My mom and I have a very difficult relationship, and always have. My father was my buffer in that relationship, and not having him around has made things with my mother worse. Since 1983. That's a very long time. I miss my father, and not a day goes by that I don't think of him or remember the life lessons he taught me in just 21 years. He is with me always. The first several years after he passed were difficult, but so much time has gone by now that I realize how much a part of me he is. He is the reason that I have wonderful relationships with the men in my life -- my husband, my sons, my friends. So every day that I have is a gift that was at least partly shaped by him in the 21 years that I knew him here on earth. And that makes me VERY happy.
I would definitely feel some sort of obligation
I would have stopped and checked to make sure the dog was okay or I would have left a message unsigned due to the OP's situation and at least made sure someone knew about it. It's not the poor dogs fault that they have owners who don't take care of them. I have an indoor cat, but you can bet if he got loose and was hit by a car, I'd want to know about it, especially if he was left in the middle of the road and wasn't lucky enough to just get up and walk away. (I know that's a different situation since he doesn't usually roam free like this poor dog seemed to)Do you have any animals? It doesn't sound like it.
About posting - I'm sort of a newbie sm
When you talk about your family I've come to understand that DH is husband, DS is son, DD is daughter - what does that first D stand for? I haven't been able to pick up on it from the context. Thanx!
No clue but my DH does this sort of stuff too - sm
though he does not help with any school projects, I do all that stuff. But he will grill them relentlessly over something that is either really stoopid or totally irrelevant and get them crying, etc. generally shortly before bedtime, and unless I totally prove him wrong he does not apologize to them. I just tell him to back off and leave them alone, it does take a while for him to actually do this though. Though he has been improving lately, maybe because I keep drilling into him that he is going to lose what communication he has with the girls in a few years (they are 7 and 9) if he does not knock it off. You might want to stress that your girls will soon be tuning him out on a permanent basis if he does not stop and stop now. If he needs to schedule in time to help them with something then maybe keep an appt. calendar on the fridge and have them write down their project due dates (in big red letters) and have him write what day/time he can help them and then keep to it. This may help him with his own organization and if he weasles out of helping, make a note of it too on the calendar (and "reschedule" the appt as well) so later he can't say, well you never asked me for help, etc. He should not be waking them up, they need their rest and and he can wait until morning to make himself feel better. Why are men such total jerkks at times? Genetics?
The recipe is a secret - sort of!
It's funny. I can make the cole slaw, but there's not really a recipe. And the sour cream, mayo thing was not her usual. She was probably trying to stretch out the mayo. That's my cousin's house, and his mom never had enough mayo on hand! LOL The same with the wine vinegar. Grandmom made sort of a face over it. She used plain white vinegar at her house. The cabbage was always sliced paper thin, by hand. Then onion was grated on one of those plane graters, so that the onion turned pretty much into juice. Then added a splash of vinegar, salt and pepper and stirred it up. Then, in a coffee mug, she sprinkled a bit of sugar on the bottom of the cup, filled it about halfway with mayo, and then thinned that with whole milk or cream until it was the consistency of salad dressing. Then mixed it all together. And not wanting to waste a drop, she always took some of the cabbage, put it into the mug and tried to clean out every drop of the dressing. One coffee mug of this concoction was enough for half a head of cabbage. Her cole slaw leaned more to the sour side with vinegar. It wasn't a sweet cole slaw, at all. She added grated carrots on special occasions, like T-giving, which is when the video was taken.
She was barely 5-feet tall, and shrunk to well under that as she got older. My mother was her firstborn child, and weighed nearly 10 pounds and breech, born at home. Amazing. My Grandmom was one strong lady!
yes because if there is some sort of misunderstanding/misprint you may be
you don't really want this hanging over your head, do you?
I have a cat with a sort of similar problem
only I adopted her as a 1-yr-old. She's a purebred that was surrendered to a vet to be PTS because she wouldn't use a litter box. I adopted her, thinking I could change her. Unfortunately, after trying EVERYTHING (reward, discipline, multiple litters, multiple boxes, multiple locations, vet examination, antibiotics, even PROZAC, I finally gave up. The rescue I adopted her from says you cannot give the cat away to anyone but THEM - ever. So after a year & a half of trying everything, I moved to a new place and she was going all over the kitchen floor. Every morning I woke up to having to mop the entire floor.
So I called the rescue, and a different (very RUDE) woman now runs most of it. She said the cat was 'unadoptable', and was trying to insinuate that it was somehow MY fault. (She forgets that SHE is the one who originally went to that vet and saved the cat's life, knowing full well that it had elimination issues). She told me I had only 2 choices: 'Live with the problem', or 'Have her put down'. If she were 17 years old and in questionable health, I'd consider it. But a 3-year-old, extraordinarily healthy, beautiful and playful purebred cat? No.
I did find a way to come to sort of a compromise with her. She will use the litter box (for pee only) if I'm nearby, as she knows if I see her use it, she'll immediately get a treat. Sometimes this means she'll go in there and squat and do nothing, but since it's t least a step in the right direction, she still gets the treats (though maybe fewer pieces).
I was able to gradually convince her to go just in one small area of the kitchen floor, just outside the litter boxes. I used a pet-gate to block off half of the kitchen. The part she has access to is where the food and litter boxes are, near the back-door.
If you clean up cat pee using a cleaner that has ammonia, it will continue to attract them, because pee also has ammonia in it. 'Nature's Miracle', on the other hand, has enzymes in it that break down & eat the ammonia crystals that are left, and truly does eliminate the odor that attracts the cat. It's made for carpets, but I've found it effective on linoleum, as well. So, after I clean up the pee puddle, I use Nature's Miracle on the spots where I don't want her to pee. Then, in the one spot where's she's allowed to do it, I use Windex. My problem was compounded by the fact that my house isn't level, and the floor slopes. The pee would run along the baseboards clear across the kitchen floor. I solved this by taking 3 paper towels and rolling them up into a tight cylinder, and placing them against the baseboards. This not only solved the problem of the 'travelling pee-puddles' by absorbing it 100%, I also found she actually learned to pee ON them. Whever I see a soiled one, I simply pick it up and place it in a plastic bag to be tossed out.
Anyway, it's not a 100% acceptable solution, but for me it enabled me to live with the problem by making the cleanup quick, easy, and efficient. Also, it's in a part of a very large kitchen than I just never use.
I had made the mistake of spanking my cat one time when I just couldn't take it anymore, and like you, she didn't like me for a few weeks. (She has the memory of an elephant!)
BUT! Once you get the problem resolved to where you're no longer P'd-off about it, the cat will sense it and will relax. My cat was never very sociable to begin with. Isn't a lap-cat, wouldn't sleep with me, preferred not to be petted, and when I had to comb her out (VERY thick-coated Persian), I had to trim her claws really short, so as not to need a blood transfusion afterward!
Once I was able to find a sort-of-acceptable place for her to pee, and my anger about it went away, we now have a good relationship. (Geez - sounds like marriage, doesn't it?) She gradually began to associate me with good things, like treats, playing with her favorite toy-on-a-string, petting, etc. The grooming problem gradually resolved as well, to the point where she now even purrs when I comb her (ever so carefully, so as not to pull her hair), and she has even been perfectly behaved about bathing. She now comes and sleeps next to me all night, and although still not a 'lap-cat', will let me hold her for a few moments of just petting.
I don't know all of her background, but part of the reason I came to accept that 40-50% is as good as she's going to get about using the litter box, is that I think she's probably been hard-wired to go on linoleum. Possibly her breeder kept the kittens in the kitchen. Or else the original buyer got her too young, like 5-6 weeks instead of 8-10 weeks of age. But whatever, sometimes concessions can be made both on the part of the person, and the cat.
I assume you've probably already taken your cat to a vet. (That's the first step - make sure there's no bladder infection. She could be trying to tell you something by peeing on the bed. Or, if it hurts to pee, she may associate the box with pain, and thinks that going in a comforting place like a bed, will ease her pain.) The original owner of the rescue where I got my cat said that in some cases, they've had cats that peed on the floor, and the urine test showed no infection, but they put the cat on antibiotics for a couple weeks ANYWAY, and in most cases the cat stopped having problems. So that could be a possible thing to try.
Sometimes cats dont like certain litters, and love others. Many of them prefer the UNSCENTED kind, too. I had a problem with my cat liking only a certain unscented, finely-granulated, super-absorbing kind like Super Scoop or Arm & Hammer. Trouble was, it would never fail - no matter where I went that day for cat supplies, they'd be out of my brand! I solved that problem by creating a BLEND of 3 different kinds that the cats love, and where I'm bound to find at least ONE of them when I go to the store. My blend is roughly 1/3 of the expensive kind (Super Scoop or Arm & Hammer unscented), slightly less than 1/3 of the store brand of fine-grained, clumping cat litter, and about a cup of regular clay cat litter, either scented or unscented. I put just a dab of scented in on occasion, JUST IN CASE for some reason that's all I can find at the store. As a result, the cats are happy with any combination-ratio of those 3 litters, and in addition it saves me money because I use far less of the expensive kind.
I also scoop the boxes frequently (pretty much whever I walk by and see something in them), and about every other day add a tad more fresh litter, and once a week I dump the litter, scrub the box with soap & hot water, and refill with fresh litter.
If you're cat's using the litter pan at least some of the time, then that's good! You may be able to deter her from the bed by just throwing a big sheet of plastic over it during the daytime, and getting her a new little bed of her very own.
I learned a cool way to see if you have all the urine out of something, or to find other spots where the cat might be cheating - it's a BLACK LIGHT. You just turn off the house lights, and walk around holding the black light over the carpet, the bed, etc. Any urine spots will glow in the black light. If you truly have all the urine out, it won't glow.
Another thought about putting her outside. Does she LIKE to go outside? If so, you might inadvertently be getting 'trained' by her to put her out when she pees on the bed. Also, unless you can wash the spot she soiled with something like Nature's Miracle, even if you can't smell the pee, the cat still can. Like dogs, their sense of smell is hundreds of times greater than ours is. You could also try putting a pet gate across your bedroom door, or just keeping it closed and off-limits to her except when you're there.
One thing I learned about the rough-play thing: When you get a tiny kitten, it's really cute when they 'wrestle' with your hand, or 'attack' it. But once they weigh 10-12 pounds and are stronger, it's not so cute. (Same goes for puppies!) So try using your hands ONLY for good things, like petting and treats, and use a string or a cat-toy for playing. My cat likes to sit behind the shower curtain and bat at it when I poke it with a toothbrush. It's become her morning ritual, and it totally makes her day!
Anyway, I feel your pain. I consider myself lucky in a way, that my cat only pees on linoleum.
Good luck with your kitty!
I think it's beautiful! Has sort of a "modern
I'd rather have a brightly colored purple (or red or blue or orange or whatever) house in my neighborhood than a bunch of tan ones with faded paint.
Color is a GOOD thing.
Could it be some sort of abdominal migraine?
I am sort of agreeing with your theory, but also because if she had pneumonia
and was taking Vicodin and/or high-dose cough syrup, which are both are known to compromise the respiratory system, if this alone did not play a factor into it.....and let's not forget the respiratry effects of methadone. I believe if she was taking these with the pneumonia she very well could have asphixiated herself.
Now, if any of those drugs were prescribed to anyone other than herself and they coontributed to her death, that person will be facing manslaughter charges. I do not see the conspiracy theory that Howrd was with her when her son died and when she died, because I sort of would see that as normal behavior if her was her friend and confidant. I would think it sort of normal that he would be there at the birth of her child (although I do not believe it is his) and with her when she was ill if he cared for her.
Sort of - I generlly buy some hamberger meat, and whatever - sm
is on sale and bring it home for 2 or 3 days worth of meals. My DH does 95% of the cooking. We generally buy what is on sale, whole chickens, thighs/breasts, pork chops, have tacos, I do pot roasts now and then. My mom used to make out a weekly list every Wednesday or so, and do the weekly shopping Thursday after work. We would drop about $100, this was in the late 80s/through 90s. My DH is actually better at shopping than I am and comes home with a lot for $50. Scan the food ads and plan around them, best way (and cheapest) way to do it.
Do not engage - do not give feedback of any sort.
Give no feedback whatsoever. Any feedback will be misinterpreted by them but none at all will give them less to think about and eventually they will slowly drift away.
I had a four month relationship with a guy who did this. I did not answer phone calls or return e-mails. I just totally ignored him. It took about two months and then he just stopped.
This is my theory. Do, though, keep a record of his attempts to communicate and keep a close friend well informed. Have a friend/relative contact you daily to make sure you are alright in the event he turns out to be a whacko with a vengence that could lead to hard.
Yes, I have stopped being friendly because of him. Very sad but emotional problems are not as rare as one would like to think, even in adults.
He sort of reminded me of Courtney Love.
Patti you are so knowlegeable about this sort of thing--sm
and now I have a question. What if husband dies before reaching SS age, can the wive-ex-wife still collect on spouses SS when she reaches SS age? (We were married for 13 years..He remarried and they were married for 10 years. I have his three children. He took his own life at age of 58, two years ago). Does this make any difference?
thanks for your help!
I've been through this sort of, but I was the dirty house - sm
Girl invited over one time for my daughter's B-day party. I cleaned the house, picked up, dusted, vacuumed, mopped, etc. I am not the best housekeeper in the world but I do a good job when I do clean. We don't have ants or roaches, or any other type of bugs or rodents. BUT we have a lot of clutter which obviously makes things look dirty/messy. I have slowly been getting rid of it but have a long way to go still. I have been squirrling things away in boxes, put them in the garage and see if anything gets missed. Next step is dump or ebay. I keep clean kids, bathe regularly, etc. This girl was/is forbidden to come here ever again because our house is messy per her grandmother (mother is dead, being raised by grandma and grandpa as the dad is too lazy to do it apparently). I could care less that they think my cluttered shelf in the kitchen is offensive to them, or our 50 pictures on the mantle bother them (slight exageration), or my husbands collectables in every corner covered in blanklets (though I do want them out, would make a big difference); we are not slobs. Yeah, I find it a little annoying, but I feel bad for the little girl as she is not allowed to ever get dirty and that is half the fun of growing up. The grandparents have no tolerance for any mess, that kid must live in a bubble. My MIL is exactly the same way too, but this lady is young, about mid-50s, so you think she'd still remember. I know this is not what you mean though. Hygiene is quite necessary and the girl will be teased and tortured by her friends if they see she lives in a pit. You could alway offer to help the mom get ready for the party, though there is no nice way to say, hey let me help you clean your house, it is really gross and needs a total overhaul, and you need to learn how to do laundry, bathe and brush teeth. Kind of hard to do definitely. Just do what you think is right and be as tactful as you can.
Your neighbors should suffer some sort of consequences... SM
for how they've treated their dog!!!! And let me tell you, it's not just rednecks or trashy people. My ex-in-laws, a very wealthy couple who were known throughout their church and community as giving and loving people would go out of town and leave their dog chained up in the backyard for weeks at a time. They'd just leave a whole bag of dog food for the poor animal and lots of water. They wouldn't even ask anyone to come over and check on the poor thing! We lived in another state at the time and I continually threatened to call animal control on them but my now ex-husband would beg me not to get his dad in trouble and would always call one of their neighbors to check up on the dog.
After one of their trips, the dog disappeared never to be seen again. She was a beautiful white shepherd. They had the audacity to call me and my ex up and cry on the phone about how awful it was and expected me to sympathize with them! I just simply said, that dog probably got herself loose and ran for her life. I hope she's found a new home with better owners!
Then they went and got another german shepherd and didn't take care of her. We moved in next door to them (never be your in-laws' neighbor, it's just like on Everybody Loves Raymond!) and I ended up taking care of this poor dog because once again they were never home. Then the dog was sick and in pain and could hardly move around and I told them repeatedly she needed to go to the vet. Did they ever take her? NO! I had to scrape together the money and take that poor dog to the vet to find out she was anemic and had bone cancer. It was suggested that because she was in so much pain she should be euthanized. My ex-husband didn't think we should make that decision cause she wasn't ours. So when we told my in-laws, they broke down crying and said they didn't believe in euthanization and could bare to part with their beloved Ruthie! WHAT!!?!?!?
So they let the dog suffer until I called the humane society on them. So you see there are just people in this world that don't deserve to have the unconditional love a pet. Those people deserve to be chained up in their backyards for a few days with warm, nasty, days old water and dog food. See how they like it!!!
I'm glad your situation was resolved, but I would keep an eye on your neighbors though.
Anyway, I'm an animal lover too and I just can't stand to see an animal suffer. I would have cried right along with you.
Your parents sort of invited themselves to spend -
the night at your place instead of their usual Christmas day routine. You were kind enough to offer to let them come with you to your husband's Christmas Eve party, but for whatever reason, they don't want to. I would just go on ahead to the party and have fun! You never know, maybe your parents would ENJOY just a quiet evening at your house after the long drive.
They still have THREE choices: Stay at your place by themselves, go along with you, or go back and do it the original way, coming to see you just on Christmas Day. The ball's in their court. And think how disappointed your husband's folks, plus all the cousins, etc. would be if you two didn't go.
I suppose the fourth option is for him to go alone and you to stay home lone with your folks, but that doesn't sound very fun. So I'd do the party, and you'll get to see BOTH sets of parents, and they'll both get to see you.
It was probably 'Wal-Mart rage'.... which is sort of like - sm
I won't go near a WalMart this time of year, or on weekends. Doesn't matter how good my frame of mind was when I went in, by the time I've had to spend any length of time in there with all the rude shoppers, clueless employees who can't answer any questions, (that's IF they speak English at all), it starts to wear thin. The toy department has to be avoided at all costs - filled with a large percentage of our state's illegal immigrants and their out-of-control, shrieking, runny-nosed children. Ackkkk!!! And finally, what comes close to sending me over the edge every time, is the checkout line. Doesn't matter how 'short' the one you get into is... it will be the line where you've got either a trainee cashier or a malfunctioning cash register, or BOTH. The infants in front and back of you will start screaming in stereo and dangerously high on the decibel level. The kid behind you starts banging your knees with the shopping cart, or else someone elbows their way ahead of you and everyone else without asking because they have 'just one item'. But of course, the reality of it is that they have 7 or 8 items, but by then it's too late.
One time I stood there and watched a small boy (but old enough to know better!) carefully taking packages of Mentos candy out out of the rack, opening them and taking out ONE candy to eat, then putting them back in the rack and grabbing another one. Eventually he'd eaten more than a package's worth of Mentos. The mom could see him and never made a move to stop him. Apalling.
I love the bargains at Wal-Mart, and always find cute clothes there, but will only go during normal working hours during the day.
Although an injury-producing fight in the checkout line isn't good, like another poster said, it's fortunate no one was shot or stabbed (depending on the demographic, of course). If I look at my fellow shoppers' faces in line, it's easy to see that like me, they're at the end of their rope, and that rope is pretty frayed. So I can easily imagine such a fray happening, and am surprised it doesn't actually happen more often and with more violent results.
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