I seem to have struck a nerve...sm
Posted By: TechSupport on 2009-03-10
In Reply to: You are missing the boat entirely and totally negative when you no NOTHING - young vs. older
Although this is not about me, I happen to hold two degrees - a bachelor's and a masters.
Now, if I am permitted on that basis to speak, please note that I offered no negative opinion about this individual. I don't know him, obviously. I merely advised caution and due consideration.
One of my degrees, incidentally, is in Security Management, and I'm a member of both the IACA and IALEIA, which are crime analysis and criminal intelligence associations, respectively, as well as ACFE, the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners. I teach courses in identity theft at the local community college. I think that I do know something about the cautions that I offered - which were NOT opinions about this individual.
As I said, I posted very reluctantly. Obviously, you do not appreciate the fact that when I did post it was because I was concerned.
Oh, and by the way...you know nothing at all about what I happen to know about my partner, so I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your venom to yourself because my post did not merit that kind of response. I do wonder, however, what it comes from, and if I had to make a bet, well...I'll let you finish it.
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Looks like you struck a nerve
j/k
Kids are going to have accidents and get hurt, no matter how much you try to avoid it. How many times have you mothers out there been busy cooking or taking a shower or doing any of a hundred other necessary daily-life activities and your child has come to you with a bruise or scrape or cut or whatever? IT HAPPENS. No matter how good a mom you are, no matter how hard you try. No one is perfect and no, mothers don't really have eyes in the back of their heads.
So come on, everybody take a deep breath and RELAX, okay?
I think I struck a nerve with you because
your happiness is based on being taken care of and you would stay whether you were beaten, unhappy, cheated on, etc. As I said, I am a very secure person.
It struck me as really really funny as well.
This one has struck a chord with me.
I have been an assistant scoutmaster for 8 years now. Yes, I am a mom, and there are women scout leaders out there! My job with our troop was Webelos-to-Scout Transition Coordinator. My job was to help our youngest boys and their families become part of our troop and to make sure that the boys have fun and get all that they can from the scout experience. Summer camp was always the make or break time for the youngest boys. You didn't say if your son is a new scout, but I assume this is his first time at summer camp. Homesickness and living in the outdoors are always the biggest hurdles during the first summer camp.
You are not over-reacting because your son is having a bad time. That's a simple fact, and he deserves to have those feelings validated and addressed. Since I'm female, I tend to approach the first-time scout's misery in a different way, and over the years, a lot of men have disagreed with my methods. But, they work. Men seem to like the stick-it-out approach, and I've seen some of the worst leaders actually tease and belittle homesick boys or boys who don't take easily to the outdoor experience. That really finishes off the boy for scouting. He quits. Do you think that is what is happening with your son?
At summer camp with our first year scouts, I always listen to them, validate their fears, and then try to help them overcome their fears with knowledge. If spiders or animals scare them, we go to the nature lodge and find out all about them. We do a good cleaning of their tents or lean-to's. I give them glo-sticks which basically is a night light for them, but it's cool and fun. One year, I had 6 new scouts in camp, each and every one crying at night for home. Our older boys talked to them and related their first-time camp experiences. The youngest guys were amazed that the big guys had also cried in camp their first year. They were never teased. In fact they were told that what they were going through was quite normal and common, and the older boys always helped them out. I never forbid the youngest boys to call home, but I did distract them with activities and asked them to wait a period before calling, making a contract with them. "Well, it's pretty late to call home tonight. Why don't you pick out a glo-stick for your bunk, and I promise that tomorrow after breakfast, you can call home if you still feel that you want to. And if during the night you have any problems or just want to talk, you can wake up a buddy and come talk to me." I and my fellow adult leaders have spent a lot of nights sitting around picnic tables talking to scouts, sometimes making a game of listening for owls or watching spiders crawl across the table in the lantern light. And if boys do call home, I would run like crazy to the camp phone to call the parents first to let them know what was going on and to tell them to expect a call from their son. In that way, parents were prepared, and we could coordinate our efforts to help their son.
Basically, it just takes some compassion. The hard core approach doesn't work.
Why do I go through all the trouble? Because I know the value of the scouting program. When it's done well, it goes a long way to help parents raise up honorable men. In our troop, our scouts learn to be compassionate, because we've modeled that sort of behavior for them. They learn about living in the outdoors, and learn to take care of themselves and others. That gives them a sense of accomplishment and makes them feel capable. They learn problem-solving skills and teamwork. These are all important life skills, and when scouting is done well, boys who come through are lightyears ahead of most of their non-scout peers by the time they are 18.
But that only happens when it's done right. There are great troops and adult volunteers in the BSA, but there are unfortunately some real losers, as well. It's true that scouting is not for everyone, but there is no reason for so many boys to be pushed away because of issues that just need a little careful thought and attention. This is one of my most passionate issues with scouting. Even the BSA knows that the first year scout is the most likely to quit, and they spend a lot of money and time training volunteers on this subject. It seems that some adults don't learn as quickly as others, though. And there is a core of leaders who like to remember what it was like when they were boy scouts, and won't move ahead or adapt their techniques for the boy of today's times. A new 11-year-old scout should not be expected to act like a man and tough it out. He's still a boy, and living in the woods is usually a totally new experience for him. MOST boys are scared at first, but the men and other boys hate to admit it. A new scout just needs some patience, understanding and time to mature. He needs to feel safe even when he's struggling, and he needs to know that he is supported.
I don't know all the details of your son's experience, but if you think that what I've said might apply to him, you might consider looking for another troop, one that will provide him with a good, supportive program. Not all scout troops are the same. Each has a different personality, so perhaps another troop would suit your son better. If that's not possible, or if at this point he is completely turned off by scouting, there are certainly other activities out there that can teach him the things that are learned through scouting. Encourage him to find out what his talents are and help him to explore all of the possibilities that life has to offer.
I'm so sorry to hear that your son is not enjoying scouts. It really breaks my heart when I hear such stories, because I know that the adult volunteers could handle the situation better. My own sons had a hard time the first time they went to camp, which is why I got involved. I knew there was a better way to deal with such a common problem. My oldest, who is now 20, still works with scouts, and my youngest will receive his Eagle Scout rank in just a couple of weeks. I have seen many, many boys' lives changed for the better by the scouting program, including my own sons. I hope that your son can also have a great experience in scouting.
I'm always happy to talk about scouting, and if you'd like to send me a private message, I'd be glad to share more of my thoughts on the subject.
One thing that struck me
in your 2nd long post (I just skimmed it, so might have missed something else important) was that you said you felt he would become physically abusive if you confronted him about it (if I read it right).
If that it the case, the rest does not even matter. You should not be with a man who would abuse you should you step on his toes.
As far as the porn. I think it's kind of like eating goodies, smoking, or what have you ... it is difficult to keep it at a level that is not crossing a line.
I think often men who are overboard will lose interest in sex with their partner or will start to objectify her(it will be pretty obvious if this is going on when you are having sex ... been there).
And the real truth (no matter what others find acceptable), if it is a problem for you ... it's a problem.
What nerve.... the little....
I would have gone up one side and down the other of that father. I would have made him look like a fool in front of his own kid! OOOH I wish I was there. What a nutjob!!!!!!
I do not let anyone get on my last nerve, if they try
I would stop that short. My father who was elderly was calling and calling. I moved and did not give my new number and it was four months before I sent that to him. Talk about peace. You can also get call blocking, have the caller sent to another number- perhaps cell phone??, lots of ways for folks not to bother.
Getting on this last nerve
I recently went to upgrade my kitchen counters to granite. Found a place close by and pleased with the price. However, there is a foreign person who owns and not that I mind that, but she keeps making these little digs about not being able to afford (I asked price up front and would do if I had $10 or 10 million), does not want me to go in debt for something (told did not want to do credit and did not want to take $$$ out of bank because would be penalized if taken out before maturity on my CDs and want to pay cash when property closes next month). Folded contract up and told me to come back when I could afford. Maybe this is just the way she talks because of being from another country?? Sold a rental home last year, selling another property next month and have my new home so barely qualifying for food stamps. I want to buy there but feel like I am having to prove or compete even with her remarks. Any come backs or would you just chalk it up to she really does not know how to talk to prospective buyers?
last nerve
If it were me, I'd definitely take my business elsewhere. That is just outright rude and if she isn't able to deal courteously with her customers she should not be in a customer service position. She should hire salespeople who know how to close a sale, not drive people away like she is doing. Tons of places sell granite countertops - who needs the aggravation? Definitely point out to her that she is rude, and that you are taking your business elsewhere.
Wow! Was a nerve hit???
I didn't think the OP was harsh. I'm not a grandmother yet, but I'm the mother of 18- and 20-year-old sons. Many of my friends are grandparents now, so I think I can speak for some of us in my generation regarding what we went through growing up. Most grandparents today grew up in the 1960s and 1970s. Those were pretty crazy times. I know grandparents who attended Woodstock. I've been to Ozzy Osbourne-Black Sabbath concerts where the air was thick with the aroma of weed and fellow concert goers were having sex in the seats next to us. So, yeah, we understand what it's like to grow up in that sort of culture, and we also know what it's like to raise kids in the moral-desolving pressure cooker of the current culture. You make it sound like all grandparents walked off the set of "Leave it to Beaver". That's just not the case. By the end of the 1960s and into the 1970s the pendulum had started to swing so far toward women having careers that we were often belittled for choosing to be home with the children. Remember Hillary Clinton's cookie baking comment during her husband's first campaign? In fact, stay-at-home moms were the norm for only one brief period in our history right after WW II in the post war boom times. There was a pretty awful recession in the 1970s, and I remember gas rationing and long lines at the pumps. My mother had to work two jobs, and my father, who was in construction, was often one of the first to feel economic ups and downs in his paycheck. But we had dinner together every night at the kitchen table. Before the stay-at-home mothers of 1950's t.v. fame, most mothers worked. They had to. Only the very privileged stayed home and waited for Ward Cleaver to come home from the office. My grandmother, who lived to be 94, God bless her soul, was born in 1908. Her mother died during the great Spanish flu epidemic in 1918. My grandmother was the eldest of four children, and at the age of 10 she became the woman of the house. She stopped going to school so that she could cook and clean and took care of her father and siblings. And no one thought that was wrong. It was expected because there really weren't any government social services -- no welfare, no foster care. Eventually, when her father's depression over the loss of his wife became so great that he couldn't manage to bring home an income, people in the neighborhood just took over. The two eldest children went to live with other families. The two youngest went to an orphanage. My grandmother's father just drifted away and his children never saw him again. My grandmother married at age 20 and had four children during the depression. Talk about having it hard. When I was a young mother trying to make ends meet and I'd cry to my grandmother, she brought me around to reality. She told me what it was like for her to raise children during that time. Many a night she cried over whether or not she could even feed her children or if they would have a roof over their heads. And she wasn't alone. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, was in the same boat. The Great Depression was enormous. She and my grandfather worked wherever and whenever they could. They brought home a dollar or two at a time and fed their children buttermilk and potatoes. They didn't sleep, they worried all the time. Today, my grandmother's washboard hangs in my kitchen on the wall next to my dishwasher. It reminds me that I have no right to ever say that things are harder on us today. They aren't. Generally speaking, most Americans have so many more advantages, choices and opportunities than those who came before us. Yet many in my generation and the one or two generations behind me are just whiners and crybabies who don't think about the big picture. They even dare to say they have a harder time as parents today. Please. Not even close! Every generation seems to believe that, but just a short trip through a history book proves otherwise.
I'm not that very old. But I've raised my children and I raised them well. I know what it takes to do that. It takes self-discipline, sacrifice and consistency. And you know what? That's exhausting. Parents today are tired. So what? All parents are tired. Offer it up, as the old nuns used to say. The kids have homework an hour a night. So what? They should have homework, and parents should make sure that it gets done, because education is important. There are parent-teacher meetings to attend, coaches association meetings, scout meetings, dance lessons, school recitals, etc. etc. etc. So what? Balance it out, quit what can't be done, do what can. Work because you have to. The kids have to be fed. It's still easier than it was a generation ago, two generations ago, three and on and on. We're parents to young ones for only a short time. Which reminds me, let's not forget about birth control. Most of us have 2-point-whatever children these days. I'm the youngest of 7. Most of the families in my neighborhood when I was growing up had 4 or more children. Today women can choose to have as many or as few children as they want. That means that we parent for far fewer years than the generations before us. I'm done with day-to-day parenting after just 20 years, and in fact, it got much easier on my day-to-day schedule once my boys were in high school. But my mother had children at home for 34 years. Imagine the number of cloth diapers for 7 children for year after year after year. Yes. I had it far easier, and I know it. So when I was exhausted raising my two boys, I just sucked it up and kept at it.
The OP, I think, probably didn't want to be as blunt as I'm willing to be. She IS helping by babysitting her grandchildren while her children work. I'm sure she loves her children and grandkids, but I'm willing to bet that if she dared to say to her children the things I've posted, her children would react just as you did and she'd end up cut off from her family.
To the OP: I hope it helped to vent a little, and I want you to know that I understand.
Ridiculous. I can't believe the nerve of
Would make me want to take it to the School Board, but I understand about whether or not it is worth the trouble . . . don't know what they would be able to do, but she should at least, at the very least, be reprimanded. Perhaps moving her into the middle school or high school would be punishment enough. LOL!
Hope you guys have a Merry Christmas despite her spoiling Santa.
The lizard gets on my last nerve.
The caveman cracks me up. 
Okay you have touched a nerve with me
I have a HUGE issue with the way disability/welfare is set up. I have written several letters to my representatives. I happen to live in Indiana and I have learned a few things.
Once a person in Indiana is eligible for disability, they will NEVER review that person's case...... unless someone has reported them and even then, that is not a guarantee. They do not check to see if they are making followup appointments or any such thing.
It is very hard to disprove mental disability. I personally know someone who went in and said they were "hearing voices" and started to receive disability benefits within a few months. My father had COPD, cancer, and other health conditions that kept him from working; keep in mind that he worked 35+ years in the same place, not like he didn't have a good work ethic. He applied and was turned down twice. It took the help of an attorney and after two and a half years, he was finally approved.
I was also told that the turnaround for the ones who decide who receives and doesn't is unreal. It was conveyed to me that there is not a panel of people who do the decision making... it is one person who makes the decision. This person may be very new and not sure what to do. One person may be quick to deny and one may be quick to allow benefits.
When I made the suggestion that EVERYONE who is on disability be required to routinely take a drug test, I was informed that the federal law has allowed each state to make that decision. Indiana has yet to do that. My thinking is, sure it is costly to do a drug test but you figure the cost of that would be a whole lot less than the cost of helping those who are not helping themselves. Let's see if the ones who should be taking certain prescription drugs are indeed taking them and let's see who is involved with illegal drugs and IMMEDIATELY drop them.
I am sure there are a whole lot out there who are on disability or welfare, collecting $$$, receiving food stamps, lliving in government subsidized housing, free healthcare, prescriptions, etc.
I was told by one representative that everyone who has concerns NEEDS TO WRITE TO THEIR REPRESENTATIVES and voice their concerns, lobby, etc. I was also told that those emails that have people add their names too, etc. don't carry much weight. They want to hear personal experiences, concerns, etc.
I URGE EVERYONE OF YOU TO WRITE TO YOUR REPS.... and voice any concerns you have.... talk to your friends, family, etc....
I apologize for any typos in this... I am short on time... as I HAVE TO WORK. ;)
Yeah, that would get on my last nerve. (sm)
I don't know about it being illegal to have them, but I would think they would at least need to keep them contained. If that doesn't work:
2 lb. deer steak, tenderize cut in squares
1 green pepper, chunked
6 bouillon cubes, beef
5 tbsp. cornstarch
3/4 c. water
1 chopped onion
2 tbsp. oil
Place oil in frying pan, heat. Rinse blood out of deer. Place squares of meat in hot oil and brown. Add 4 cups water and 6 beef bouillon cubes. Simmer 1 1/2 hours. Add peppers, onions and cook another 45 minutes. Dissolve cornstarch with 3/4 cup water. Add to meat mixture. Cook another 35 minutes or until tender.
You hit a nerve?...that's hysterical! Surely I did!
x
Ladies - I know this strikes a nerve with some of you (sm)
Just remember-everyone is different. The situation is not the same as yours as they are all different. I asked for opinions and I got them. I said I HAVE been making them go. I am just wondering if I SHOULD continue that. Some think I should and some think I shouldn't. This is not the same as your SIL telling you off or your DIL not letting you see your grandchildren. She sees them as much as she wants, any time she wants. I got to all the family functions she wants us to go to even if her son can't go. I help her when she is sick. I call her on the phone and check on her. We all spend several weeks throughout the summer at the lake with her. We spend EVERY holiday with her. How do you figure this woman is being short changed?? My own mother is the one being short changed - she lives 8 hours away. She never gets to see me or her grandchildren for holidays because my MIL would have a FIT if we were not at her house for these events. When we visit them once or twice a month, we spend ALL DAY at their house. How is she being cheated if she doesn't get every single thing she wants but does get at least 95%?????????
maybe a slightly pinched nerve? (sm)
I've had something like this happen before, mostly just took an anti-inflammatory and/or another hot shower to loosen up then tried to work through it...
Good luck!
That takes some nerve in my opinion.
It is not like you have any say so in your son's graduation, and in my book that would be more important to me than my nephew's wedding. It if interferes with the wedding, so what. There is nothing you can do about it.
Talk about nerve, this megamom has now set up
a website asking for donations. Well, I am going to set up a website asking for donations for my animal rescue. I rescue animals that otherwise would be put down, vet them, spay, neuter at my own cost and then try to find them a wonderful home. I am not adding to the problem (animals here) but hopefully helping the problem. She is getting food stamps, disability, said she would use her student loans for the children. Family and Children's Services should be knocking at her door before long. Talk about a Jolie wannabe.
Your hostility is strange. Must be hitting a nerve.
Maybe it's your conscience; otherwise you wouldn't care that other people see this differently than you do. It's not like anybody is going to track down your kids and spoil your fun, so you are the one overreacting.
I had nerve pain in my thigh for 15 years.
I finally figured out the cause of mine and it's gone, so I hope you can figure yours out too. Are the MDs saying nerve conduction studies wouldn't help them with it? Do you have hypermobile arches, where the ligaments are too loose and there is too much sag when you step down? If that is causing a nerve problem (and I just know it can cause pain to shoot straight up through the arch), then you would need to get just the perfect arch supports for your feet and NEVER go barefoot. Just a thought.
Good luck.
Your mother has some nerve and if she knew manners
she would know basically it is NOT her wedding, basically she has NOTHING to do with it and should keep her nose out of it. You or someone else needs to clue her in on where she stands, no where basically. Does she have some mental issues? If she put up that much fuss, I probably would disinvite her to the wedding and I am not playing. Don’t be spineless, tell her...
Thousands of nerve endings insignificant?
Well - as far as I know, the foreskin protects the glans. It also keeps the glans moist and secretes antibacterial substances. Also, circumcision greatly desensitizes the glans, reducing the pleasure quotient for men. Did you know that?
That's a creative idea. I'd love to have a listen, but I'd never have the nerve to ask! n
OP
You might be compressing a nerve in your spine or neck. Get up often. Drink all day long. See your
s
LOL- and he has the nerve to preach to the average person - hahah)sad -people believe him
No, mine is elevated IOP without optic nerve change. I was just to see an ophthalmologist who
actually is from Wills Eye. It is not to the point of doing anything now.
Brother found out he had nerve transposition in his elbows causing wrist pain. Had elbows done &
s
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