I mean:..'not a very close relationship....nm
Posted By: () on 2009-06-01
In Reply to: it depends, if they are physically and - ()
nm
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Death of someone you have a close relationship
even if they are not related by blood.
In 1990, my husband and I decided for the first time since we had been married to spend Thanksgiving with his family instead of with my family (we always did a Sunday Thanksgiving with his family before because my family was so large and his family was smaller).
My father died that Thanksgiving night. It took me 10 years to forgive myself for not being there that day. I have empathy for anyone who suffers a loss around a holiday, but hey, that's just me.
Well, any healthy relationship should be close to equal
My husband works FT and still helps out a lot around the house. I only work PT, so I usually do the cooking, helping our daughter with homework and most of the cleaning. My husband always cleans the kitchen after I cook (and vice versa) though and he cleans the bathrooms. We also alternate doing the laundry. So, I'd say everything evens out to be pretty close to 50/50 in our relationship. We are truly best friends and we treat each other as such, and I would never dream of "serving" my man - that's just a ridiculous statement! I even had that part taken out of our wedding vows! If it becomes a problem where you feel like you're being taken advantage of, then you need to sit down with your husband and let him know that he needs to pull his own weight or you won't be happy. Good luck!
Can you close the door on your relationship and not look back? sm
Of course, you will need to be in touch for the sake of the children, but you as a person need to be able to look back and have no *what ifs* to ponder about. You need to know in your head you have turned over every stone and mustered every bit of strength in your possession and tried everything you possibly could before you end this. Otherwise, it will forever sit like a huge weight on your back and make it hard on in life. You also need to be able to speak about your husband in an objective manner for the sake of the children. I agree with the other poster who suggested counseling for the children. Please consider that no matter what else you decide for yourself. Oh, how I do wish my parents had done the same for me as a child. Their relationship has left me with wounds so easily reinjured and made some things in life very tough for me. Best wishes to you.
Daughter or not (and I'd say 'not', if she doesnt pay
And I'd tell her what Donald Trump says: 'It's nothing personal, it's just business.'
We are close in that we live about five miles from each other, but we aren't close like good frie
By husband and BIL WERE pretty good friends, though.
If you are set on closing, do not close the old ones, close a newer account first.
Your credit is based on a mix of things like history, types of accounts, mix of credit (revolving vs installment), usage/utilization of credit available, and payment history. Where closing could hurt your score is the part of the score that averages history of accounts/length of credit. If you decide to close, close out a newer account first.
The best way to protect from ID theft as far as credit is to freeze your credit reports. It's around $10 per agency to freeze them. Each credit reporting agency tries to sell your their own monitoring plan when you get to the how to freeze information, so make
sure you are freezing it.
You can't freeze it over the net they each require a letter by registered mail. It takes about 1 month to freeze it.
Right now you can place a fraud alert on your reports for free. The credit *should* not extend credit or do a credit line increase without calling the phone # on your credit report first. You only need to do it at one credit reporting agency and the other ones will be notfied. The number for equifax fraud alert 1-888-766-0008. It's automated.
If you are concerned about ID theft try one of the monitoring plans. I've tried a few of them and Equifax has the best one. Their Score Watch is great, you set the limits to be notified and any change they send an email literaly the next day. I used it after I discovered ID theft. It might be a waste of money for you. I would place the fraud alerts, then the freeze, and check your reports 2x per year.
I've had ID theft as far as my name/social but what concerns me more than credit ID theft is bank account theft. I don't know how we can fight that. It seems like consumers get the raw end of the deal as far rights when deposit accounts are stolen.
How is your relationship with God? If not God, do you have sm
any spirituality in your life at all? I was exactly where you were....then I found Jesus. Late in life. He has given me purpose and pure contentment.
Nothing satisfies like Jesus and I've done it all: Alcoholism, rx drugs, bad relationships, etc.
Now I'm teaching a Bible study class, have a thriving marriage (after a horrible divorce) and am just very, very peaceful and happy.
Whenever someone like you comes to me with thoughts just like yours, I tell them about God and His saving grace. Will pray for you that you find the contentment you are so searching for.
relationship help
My fiance and I live together - been together 4 years - living together 3 months - supposed to get married this year. . Most of the time, everything is great. He gets stressed out about finances, makes a rude remark to me about my lack of house cleaning ability, I get mad and go off by myself for a few hours - he gets even madder and starts saying our relationship is over, etc. . He leaves for several hours, comes home and we make up. . I am having a hard time with this. . I feel like I have to react a certain way or this whole blow up is going to happen. . I love him and know he loves me - I just don't understand how something so small can turn into something so big. . Anyone with any advice?
MIL-SIL relationship has nothing to do with
SIL's feelings for the daughter, just like MIL's feelings for him have nothing to do with her feelings for her daughter.
relationship
Is this how you want your life to be because he will not change even if he decides he is "ready" to marry you. Everything he does now he will continue to do. You definitely deserve better. Good luck.
she was in control of that relationship
x
Yes, your relationship will change sm
The first three months or so you will both be so tired you won't know how you can possibly make it, but you will. If you have family close by to help, that is great (I was an Air Force wife, so we were far from both our families). Hopefully, though, you will start to see your husband in a whole new light. I know I did. He had never had much use for children before, although I knew he loved animals, so that's always a good sign. He would spend hours playing with our cats, and he loved to sit and watch TV with one or both of the cats in his lap. To me, that showed a loving heart.
He had a lot of learning to do, but he became a wonderful father. Seeing that, I fell in love with him all over again. He became much more open emotionally, primarily with our son, but some of that spilled over into our relationship as well. And having a child together bonds a couple together like nothing else. Here is this wonderful being who is a part of BOTH of you, and who you both love like you never thought you could love another human being.
Sure, there will be difficulties. There will be times when he wants sex and you are so exhausted all you want to do is sleep for a week. There will be times when you are so focused on the baby you won't realize you are neglecting him. But if you are aware of all these possibilities, you are less likely to let the situation go on so long that it becomes a problem.
Good luck to you, whatever happens. 
The whole relationship should have been a no-brainer
Frankly, I thought he should have been given more punishment myself, but I don't think the DA/ADA really put a lot of effort into it. As I mentioned, they were going to accept the SIS until I pointed out that I didn't approve on the basis that it's not like another conviction would be destroying a lily-white record, at which point the ADA flipped through the file and said, "Wow, this guy belongs in jail." Going into it, the 'scoop' on the judge were that the 3 things he hated most were drunks, deadbeat dads, and woman-hitters, and the ex was the trifecta (he's about $1100 behind in his child support), but somehow he got to skate away. I do have mixed feelings about the sentence; I wasn't really injured, but on the other hand that was only because I called before it got worse.
I have my own share of self-esteem issues, which is why I stuck it out as long as I did. The only thing Dr. Phil ever said that made sense to me was, "We generate the reality we think we deserve." So I'm spending some quality time channeling Stuart Smalley and doing my self-affirmations, have blocked his phone, and am generating my new reality.
re the relationship with your daughter...
My sister-in-law, a wonderful woman, has a 30-something daughter, and she is struggling with their relationship. She has recently decided to let things go for a while - for her own sanity. She tells me that there have been problems with their relationship since her daughter was just a child. It pains her to think that she may never have a good relationship with her. My sister-in-law has 2 other children that she has a wonderful relationship with. I think, sadly enough, that sometimes it just works out that way. We have discussed the possibility of her daughter having psychiatric/emotional issues that could be hindering the relationship process - I don't know whether or not that could be an issue with your daughter. The bottom line is, in my opinion, you can only do what you can do. I don't think a parent should EVER give up on their children, but there may come a time when you have to realize that it is what it is, and you just have to accept that and worry about taking care of yourself. Good luck to you.
Dont know where your relationship has gone wrong but
my husband and I have been married now for 7 years and he is feely, smoochy, kind, considerate, loving, can have a grab each and any time he wants it. I thank my lucky stars to have found him at my late age. I dont know what has turned the love to disgust for you but I do not feel normally this would be a turnoff for most women, certainly not me. My love just deepens every minute we are together. I will say that I have an ole high school friend (this is her second marriage) that says identical things as you are saying. She and the fellow have no children together but frankly, I would not stay because of the children, never. Your children will suffer in a situation like this. My children grown when I met the present husband but I was divorced, raised the children and would not subject them to more unpleasantness. I think my friend and her husband will come to divorce eventually. Just do not believe you can overcome the disgust when it should be pure heaven by his touch.
a believer in God, personal relationship with God
My spirituality comes from many places...
Mother Teresa said:
People are often unreasonable and self-centered. FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. BE KIND ANYWAY.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. BE HONEST ANYWAY.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. BE HAPPY ANYWAY.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. DO GOOD ANYWAY.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. IT NEVER WAS BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY.
-----------
And that, my fellow MTs/MEs, is something we all should contemplate!
Have a GREAT week!!!
I agree - no kids, why do they have to have a relationship?
nm
does anyone besides me have a bad relationship with a grown daughter or son?
with one of your grown-up kids, or is it only me? My oldest daughter and I do not get along, never did. I love her, but am not sure if I like her. She is very selfish and self centered and it's all about her. Everyone else see's it but her. Of course, there's a lot more to it, but last night she sent me a letter saying basically she's done with me.....not sure at all where this is coming from. I really, really don't need this right now. So, is anyone else in any kind of a similar situation with an adult child? She's 38.
I'm so glad you have that type of relationship! That's how it should be. (sm)
She has every opportunity to come here and let them get to know her and then they would probably be happier going to her house. She is always so busy every time they see her. I would love for them to want to go to her house. It is so ridiculous for people to say it is me influencing them.
I'm glad they have a good relationship, too, but it's NOT
superficial to know your spouse's past history including his education. Why be so secretive about something so mundane? Is she going to love him any less (or more) whether he did or didn't finish high school - probably not. Is it going to change how he treats her now if she knows - probably not. Even if it changed everything about their relationship, she's still his wife, and to not know his education level after 30+ years of knowing each other is just a wee bit strange to me. Once again, in my opinion, he's supposed to be her best friend, her confidante, the one person in the world she can trust anything to. Why the evasiveness? JMO 
I feel so sorry for you. Please rethink your relationship with this man.
.
Long Distance relationship
I think you answered your own question without realizing it. You still want to see new places, experience something new. To move back would mean you would probably never get to do those things...they are dreams you have, don't live your life wishing you had done what you wanted to do. Great relationships are easy to have when there are so many miles between you, when you are living together everyday it will be a whole different situation. Right now you have so little time together you make sure those few hours are perfect or as close to it as they can be. If you stay in this LD relationship you can still move someplace else and see exciting things, you will just find a way to see each other from another location.
What would you do if you got a fantastic, once in a lifetime, can't turn it down opportunity for something tomorrow, would you take it or would you throw that chance away to move back home where you don't really want to be? When you answer that question you will have your answer.
Are you considering a long-term relationship
with this gentleman? If so, you might want to give some serious thought to his money issues as they could very well become your money issues.
His joke was probably just an attempt to be funny, though rather clumsy and thoughtless. Since it bothers you, you could discuss it with him and tell him why it made you angry and base your next move on his response.
It would be his actual money issues that would be of greatest concern to me.
once the trust is gone, so is the love, and the relationship..sm
be completely honest with him..now, before he gets out of rehab. If he is doing it only for you or to get you back, it is never going to work and it is just a matter of time before HE feels comfortable enough to start drinking again. You sound pretty sure that you want it to be over, so see a lawyer and start divorce proceedings now. don't wait for him to get out and start things all over again. You have to be up front about YOUR feelings, as well. Do not lead him on thinking there is hope. If telling him how you feel puts him back into drinking again, that is his problem and not yours. It would only serve to prove that he was not serious about stopping drinking anyway, and helping himself, but only a means to get back into your life. Do not take on the guilt. He is responsible for his ownself, and you are responsible for you. But do not let his expectations of coming back go on any longer. He has a right to know how you feel now, before it is too late. You already know in your heart that things will go back to the way they were before, if you let him come back. Show him how serious you are, be honest, and start the actions you need to extricate yourself from the situation. He will not change.. trust me on that one. I have been there too.
y huby and have pretty much the same kind of relationship as you mg
We have both learned where our strengths and weaknesses are. When our children were toddlers and it was bedtime I began losing my patience. Their constant getting up and fighting sleep didn't seem to bother him, so he handled bedtime. We share homework duties, I do the laundry and most of the cooking, he and the children clean up after dinner. He likes to cook on Sundays. It has been working great for 19 years.
Anyone had a relationship with a person in jailr or prison?
Is it someone you knew or have you gotten to know them since they went to prison? Do you write them or visit?
I have a love/hate relationship with the thing.
Keeps me roasty toasty...In that picture there the wind chill put the temperature to -25, the kind of cold where your eyes steam and then that steam frosts your lashes up. It's very dangerous.
HOWEVER, these coverall things are designed for dudes with no curves, so the crotch winds up going down to your knees and you wind up walking like a penguin. I have wiped out in it and I feel like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka where they have to roll her away.
No way, no day would you find me in California or anywhere outside of New England. It's best I don't venture too far away from my mental health care providers, know what I'm sayin?
I just some at Tractor Supply I've got my eye on (Man, I'm such a hick!) that are actually specifically tailored for women, so a set of those are on my wish list along with that split keyboard.
relationship question, pls need confirmation/advice
A younger (like 20 years younger) has fallen for me. He knows what he wants in life; tired of the young girls who play the mind games, etc. What are our chances of having a good relationship together. I am definitely attracted to younger men always.
Thanks for any advice or any experience you may have.
long distance relationship - dead end?
I've been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. About 1000 miles apart....we see each other once a month and it's great for the most part. We miss each other a lot, talk everyday, and almost never fight. We get along great and truly prioritize and look forward to our meetings.
Our only problem is....the long distance thing has no end in site. Neither of us are planning (or willing) to relocate to the other's location just yet. He feels that I should 'come home' back to where our friends and family are, where we both grew up.....I feel he should get out and experience new things while we are young.
I still want to see new places, maybe move again, experience something new again, and am simply not ready (if ever) to move back. So what should I do? Bite the bullet and move back? Does this mean we have reached an impasse that will not work? Sometimes I worry that we are on a dead end road, but I could not imagine splitting because we have such a great relationship.
ANY relationship based on lies is doomed to failure
Your relationship is truly blessed and an inspiration to others. Congrats and Love long! :) nm
s
Normal nerves, BUT you and your relationship w/hubs will change & evolve, hopefully
s
I would really keep a close eye on her
if like you say the distance is making him more psycho. Sounds like a really dangerous character to me. And of course, we both know that "mother knows best" but then again, did we listen to our mothers? NOOO! We did exactly the opposite of what they wanted us to do! We all have to learn our lessons in life the hard way. Like you said, at least there are no children involved. Just count your blessings that she got out before she devoted too many years to this warped relationship!
She is only 19 and we are so close sm
I told her this week that I will always love her as her mom, support her like her mom, be concerned for her like her mom, but that we have both allowed our relationship to flower into a friendship where one happens to be 28 years older than the other and that one gave birth to the other.
She has given me so much to be proud of, so much to be thankful for, and this is part of it.
Don't close out your IRA!
Cashing out the IRA has big consequences. Depending on how much is in there you could be getting some pretty big penalties. Not to mention that the value of it is down enough that you're taking a loss even without factoring the penalities into it. The car is still running, right? Granted, you said not for much longer, but it's at least still running now. I would wait. Dealerships are always having sales - even the used car guys. With the economy going the way it is, they're not going to be having much luck and I have a feeling that by the summer you'll be able to find something decent within the range that you've got without cashing in the IRA.
You must have been close to your dad...sm
I have never been close to my dad. Not that I wouldn't be hurt if something happened to him, but I am very close to my mom. You know sometimes you can tell when a parent doesn't want to be bothered with you and I always got that feeling from my dad but never from my mom. I knew he loved me but sometimes he didn't seem to want me around.
if it is close
I would not give one of those slimeballs one more penny, let alone $6,000. That party was a scam all the way. If you have equity in your home, just thank God that you did not get caught up in this stupid 1920's style disaster and pay that house off!
I was close, eh?
;)
Close to my home!
This happened pretty close to me, actually.
I haven't heard everything, but I guess they finally caught them!!
I have only caught a few pieces of it on the news here and there, running between one thing and the next.
The only thing I've gathered from it is that this lady has had previous problems dealing with social workers--problems as in on her end. This was her 5th child. 3 have been taken away and another had died of SIDS.
The social worker was killed by "several puncture wounds with a sharp object".
That's really about all I know....
Were you guys close before this? I just
cannot believe this has escalated into this now. Even if she couldn't pay for it, she should have just admitted that they were at least partly responsible. To physically attack you though...I mean, this is your sister!
Good luck with everything and keep us updated.
Anyone from Modesto, CA or very close by - sm
I am going to be going out to Modesto next week, and I don't know how long I'll be staying. I was wondering if anyone from that area knew of any "extended stay" hotels or hotels like Towneplace Suites or Hawthorne - that are great for long stays. Or perhaps someone from Modesto or nearby might suggest short stay furnished apartment complexes.
Any ideas would really help. I've been on the internet looking at hotels until I'm blue in the face and soooo frustrated. Please feel free to email me. Thanks again and any ideas are greatly appreciated.
maybe a close relative the pet knows?
nm
Close to Springfield IL
Wow, you are close to where I live. I live in Virginia, IL which is about 35 miles west of Springfield and my husband teaches and coaches in Springfield. I have always lived around this area and like it very much.
How close are you to Inwood, WV?
My friend Arlene called from there this evening and told me about the lockdown at Musselman HS last Friday...it was just a stone's throw from where she lives and her niece goes there. It appears you're neighbors there in the 4 corners. She's originally from WV....lived here in KY for a while and we sang together for a minute.
I re-read your original post and explained to her about your son having been at VA tech in April...double whammy. How'd that all work out?
Perhaps you'd like to say hello to her sometime....It's always good to find another friend. If so, e-mail me and I'll hook you guys up.  Cat
Just have him standing close would
tell me if he were smoking, it would be obvious. I don’t think I would probably buy the friend story. I probably would have spoke up and said well let me have his number and I will call him so he can come and get…
Very close, up a tad north of you....
My husband refuses to go further north than Tennessee. He believes he will "freeze". I, on the other hand, grew up in the south but have ALWAYS longed to live up north. I have a cousin who grew up here with me. She went to Vermont one year for some job or something, came back home, and said she was moving up there. She did and is now in her late 50's and dreads having to come back down here. She loves it too! She keeps wanting me to come visit but I would want to move even more. Now, I probably will say no to Alaska. I had a girlfriend who moved up there one week after getting married (her husband was from there). She is a southern girl and she was miserable. She would call crying, was thawing her walls out with a blow dryer. I was dying laughing and she was squawling. Twelve years later, she finally told her husband she wand the kids wer moving back south....he could come if he wanted. He did and they have been here ever since.
Close to retirement age (for me), if you could would you
take a reduction of 6% on your social security if you could - mine starts at age 66 and next year I will be 65 so that late would only mean 6% off instead of full social by the age of 66. If you had a chance, would you do that or would you wait until full and then draw plus being able to work?
Is not WellStar close to you
WellStar Cobb- I don’t know if they have nursing school or teaching there but the hospitals, Kennestone, Cobb General- I don’t know which have nursing schools- Atlanta Medical did years ago, but I think you would find out you would probably not have to spend much- if anything- on your schooling. I think it is a win-win situation for you. Good luck!
no longer close....
That is what I thought half would be fair. But I know she wouldn't pay it. Because I have learned how she is. I realize I should have gotten it back way before then but I just said you know I am sure she has it put up and I will get it back. I had no idea she shampooed her carpet that often. And no I will not be loaning her anything else. From now on IF I loan something out( she is an exception I won't be loaning her anything) saying you break it you replace it is a good idea. Let's them no if they can't or don't want to replace it then don't borrow it. I did say something to my husband's brother about it. My husband and her husband are twin brothers. He did not offer any money on it. And when I told him I needed to get half of what it cost he gave no answer. My husband says let it go and learn your lesson to never let them borrow again. But I still think it is only fair to have at least half my shampooer cost paid.
Even though my grandkids very close by
they both drive yet never come this way. Have not seen them now in 2 or 3 years I guess. Got letter from GD when she started college saying shame she saw her great aunt more than me- told her this had gone on since she was first born, nothing new- my DIL never wanted to share with me so I just finally said enough. Tried and tried but her family not only pushed me aside but I really lost my son also, like they engulfed him. Oh well... I have lived at my new home since 2004 and living 15 minutes away, he has never been here. Live and learn.
She didn't come close to us
And as the poster said below her concerts sold out in minutes. I doubt I'd be lucky enough to get tickets. On the upside, we had an amazing time. Didn't get home until 1:30 this morning, so thank God I've been on vacation for the last three days.
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