I like the idea of not crating now that dog is mature enough. Never heard of that sm
Posted By: MQer on 2006-12-26
In Reply to: Ditto this great post! Also, maybe your dog needs - Laurie
and sounds like a possible solution to OP's problems. She did say that the dog was just fine next to her while sleeping on the couch. Good idea. She should try this.
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crating is a good idea, but
there's a way to do it. If he's never been in a crate before, you can't just put him in there & lock the door & leave. Here's an article about training puppies to use a crate, getting them used to it gradually. A lot of it would be good for an older dog, too.
You have the best idea I have heard this year!
Absolutely 100% correct- so many now and I do not care what I sound like. I get tired of having 1 right after the other of nothing but accents. The bottom of the barrel dictate on the weekends when I work. Most do not know how easy they have by just an occasional telephone conversation with the like.
crating
Why can't you take your dog with you when you leave the house? Roll down the back window of your car, put it in the back seat and let it breathe in the air. Do you shove your kids in a cage when you leave the house? I mean c'mon. This is a member of your family. You took on responsibility for her when you bought her. Dogs need to be with their "packs" and not shoved aside in a cage. Seriously, I just don't understand your mentality.
Have you tried crating him?
Is there a crate big enough for him? At least in a crate, he would be unable to get out and unable to follow you across town. Just a thought. Dogs are *cave* animals and sometimes feel safer when they're in their den. I hear stories from my neighbors that my dog barks when I leave him home alone, barking like he misses me. Poor doggies, huh?
And how!! We are truly "experienced and mature" now, right? :-) nm
nm
so I take it he's not sexually mature yet?
once he starts dating...
So right. Shawn is probably much more mature
nm
Yes, very good point on crating!
The poor animals simply become conditioned (brainwashed) basically because they have no other choice. Crates are used because owners are too lazy to take a couple weeks of physically teaching a dog to toilet outside. There are much better and more humane ways than crating.
Last resort - crating at night
I know cats aren't as amenable to crating as dogs, but if it were me, I would get one of those hard-sided plastic crates and put the little bugger in there and put the crate as far away from the bedroom as possible. It comes down to a question of who's running the show, you or him? It sounds like it's either that or giving him away. IMO, no one should put up with an animal that is destructive. There are ways to help train them to be less destructive, or to confine them to prevent them from being destructive. If that doesn't work, it's time to start looking for another home for the animal.
But that's JMHO.
If you are both mature and desire a child sm
I was immature for the first, thought I was mature ten years later for the second and now that I'm too old to have one, wish I had more but it's too late. This is not an answer but a longing that I wish I had more than two and it's too late. My husband did not want another as the first had medical problems, so we waited ten years and I am sorry I don't have more kids. I love kids! Also, my MIL didn't like kids and was not happy, complained about both pregnancies as "another mouth to feed". Each time I see a happy family planning for a baby, I cry. If it is going to make you both happy, do it, you will be the happiest in your life when you hold that child. Just IMHO. It will work if you want it to. If you wait until you "afford" one, you never will. Children are beautiful and worth it, they enrich your life, why else would you get "married"?
crating is just a polite word for caging.
Hopefully the Buddhists are right about reincarnation. Anybody who would put an animal in a cage (which is exactly what a crate is) deserves that same fate--to be at the mercy of the type of ''superior'' human being, lacking compassion, who can still get a good night's sleep after doing that to an animal. Yes, an overweight pet will probably have a shorter life--that's just how it goes. But it will certainly have a happier life than the poor unfortunate one whose oh-so-powerful owner ''runs the show'' at its expense and sticks it in a cage for her own convenience. Have a little compassion and try putting yourself in the place of the animal. ''Run your show'' in ways that don't involve breaking an animal's spirit and making its life miserable. In short, pick on something your own size (mentally and physically)--not an animal.
And incredibly mature and smart. You are blessed. nm
!
I find it very mature. Those are the correct names.
nm
Yes, I think it's the most mature decision she has ever made. When she dropped out of school, we
suggested the military and she went ballistic, but a see a few signs of maturity and now she really views it as a career choice for her. She was told if she went into healthcare that she could be tending to the injured etc.but that she wouldn't be on the front lines. Then again, I was also told that recruiters will say anything to get you to sign LOL..
Strongly recommend crating when not home or able to supervise
We adopted a 1 yo Rottweiler who literally ate the couch after he totally destroyed the living room, tore curtains from the windows, spread trash from the kitchen throughout, shredded newspapers, had the stuffing out of the pillows . . . all in one day! I was at my wit's end and called the vet, who recommended a crate for when we weren't home or if he needed a "timeout." It worked great. We used it for about 1-1/2 years. He was having separation anxiety, so he was only in there when we both were gone. She may have to do it at night too, depending on when the dog is chewing things. Our dog started sleeping in there at other times with the door open. He loved it. It's not cruel if used correctly and not as a punishment. It saves a lot of stress for both the dog and the owner.
Strongly recommend crating when not home or able to supervise
We adopted a 1 yo Rottweiler who literally ate the couch after he totally destroyed the living room, tore curtains from the windows, spread trash from the kitchen throughout, shredded newspapers, had the stuffing out of the pillows . . . all in one day! I was at my wit's end and called the vet, who recommended a crate for when we weren't home or if he needed a "timeout." It worked great. We used it for about 1-1/2 years. He was having separation anxiety, so he was only in there when we both were gone. She may have to do it at night too, depending on when the dog is chewing things. Our dog started sleeping in there at other times with the door open. He loved it. It's not cruel if used correctly and not as a punishment. It saves a lot of stress for both the dog and the owner.
I thought about it too. Michaels has lots of beads. Just wondered if my mature
xxxxxxxxx
I've heard of tops and also heard it is a good group.
BAD idea! Terribly BAD idea!
This could not be worse of any idea. People need to worry about their own bodies, not what other women do! This is supposed to be the land of the free, but people are trying to turn it into the "the land of the free as long as you agree with me." It's a medical procedure and no one else's business period! For some women, it's a hard enough decision to make without having other people tell them how they should do it!
If you do not believe in abortion...great, don't have one, but mind your own business and leave other people alone that need/want to have one! Again, it's none of your business what someone else does.
I don't have any children and don't want any. While I always use birth control, that's not 100%, and if it failed, I certainly would get an abortion without hesitation. I much rather have women get abortions than bring a child into the world that they don't want and mistreat or that they can't pay for and stick ME with paying for it! There are enough leaches out there having kid after kid they can't pay for, and we tax payers are footing the bill. Enough is enough already!
How about all you people that but your nose into other people's business and don't want these women to have abortions pay my share of taxes too since you don't mind paying for all of these unwanted children!
One more idea...
I had a friend whose father got her a diamond ring. It was a heart made out of diamonds, from Daddy to daughter. She treasured that. It was her first "real" jewelry as far as something with precious stones, and it meant a lot that it was from her Dad. If you're a Christian family, as this family was, it could also have the same meaning it had for this family, which was basically a promise from the father to be there for his daughter and a promise from the daughter to remain sexually pure. I don't remember exactly how they did this, I know they took her out to dinner just the mom and the dad and the Sweet Sixteen-er, but she talked about it for years.
I just remember thinking my dad would NEVER have done something so sweet. But I digress.
My son's idea
He wants to make fry bread and call it Native American fry bread so that it would be an N food.
Still searching for something fun with a Thanksgiving theme.
Another idea...
We have 3 golden retrievers, 2 of which are female that we bred. We used to use (dogs are now fixed) little girls underwear and cut a hole for their tail. We then used regular panty liners inside those. It was much cheaper and actually worked better than the things you buy at the pet stores. Both dogs got used to them and usually managed to keep them on most of the time. My human daughters also got a kick out of picking out the underwear..lol.
Word of warning though...don't ever keep her outside when she is in heat if you don't want puppies. We had a Rotweiller go through 2 fences and and a shed door to get to our female.
Good luck!
Here's an idea......sm
My husband cannot stand light when sleeping....it all started really in collge when he would put a pillow over his face to block out roommates being up, etc. After watching him put a pillow over his eyes for 20 years, I finally made him get an eye mask...which he now has been wearing for a number of years and likes it a lot. They are soft, doesn't bother him to wear, and now I can read with the light on and not watch him nearly smother himself with a pillow!!
I like this idea...
Just a thin board I can prop on the sill and attach a hook at the top to keep it flush (so no dreaded light comes through). Plus I can just keep it under the curtain and no need to attach fabric since the curtain is dark enough (of course) not to show through.
And you're welcome with yours. That's why I decided to ask you guys - more people, more ideas.
An idea:-)
Can he go on line and track his banking that way so he doesn't have that problem again? I check my account every day, especially before and after going to the store for anything, to see where I am plus use Quicken software to see my budget for the weeks ahead. That way he will always know what's in there, what was taken out, and keep better track of it. He can add in his Quicken or MS Money on what day his cable company takes their money out for every month and will see how much that leaves him that week. That's terrible how much money he lost on that. Sorry to hear that!
My DH has no idea how I can even do it - sm
he knows it is hard, though he does complain I don't make enough, but that is another issue (I goof off too much--procrastinating). Sit your husband down, put headphones on him and tell him, okay, so you do it and let me know how you do. He will shut up really fast!
Here's an idea. Why not something other than a K then!
I just always hated that, all names with the same letter or that rhyme. Ugh.
It's an idea, but...
That would be punishing the kid for the dad's behavior.
idea
Hey Mammamt,
I love your idea and the way you were able to express the joy of your son coming into your lives....I've been planting trees for siimlar reasons for years. You're a loving and compassionate person.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7KLnCni68M
Cat
Had an idea
Kids were wanting to go to Blockbuster which got me started thinking. Obviously cannot give movies or movie cards but how about movie CANDY and popcorn (crunch and munch or cracker jack or those 3-flavors-in-a-tin so popular this time of year?)!! And I thought about hitting the dollar store - I get stuff for my kids there - the little simple games, notepads and pencils/pens... You guys have gotten me inspired. THANK!
You know, that's not such a bad idea.
business, and they do all right in regards to pay. I also have a friend that just does local (rich) or what I call (rich) people with big homes, and she gets to use their vacation homes for nothing. She does a great job and is a nice person. Word of mouth has been her way of getting new clients.
I am in agreement with the "in front of the computer" thing, but I need a few more years with the kids. However, I have thought of working part-time in a local healthcare facility and doing this part-time again from home when my kids are just a tad older. I'm almost there though.
Does anyone have any idea what happens
when you end up pregnant and are in-between insurances/jobs?? If you don't go to the doctor with your existing insurance that is running out in a month, will your new insurance pick you up, or better yet be obligated to pick you up, when it goes into effect, after you are 3 MO preg?? Curious, and surprised. We make too much $$ to go on any kind of state plan, and didn't know if any new insurance when a person is already 3 mo preg would consider it "preexisting." Any input appreciated!!!! 
Idea
If you are a walker or runner, you could completely fix this dog's boredom by making friends with the people and get permission to walk their dog. You could offer to do it for a fee if you think they have more $ than time. Or if you need an excuse so they won't feel like you are criticizing them, you could say it would make you feel safer to have a dog with you.
If you are not a walker, consider the huge benefits to your back and legs. It could make a huge positive impact on your health, too.
If the dog is a puller, the quickest fix I've found is a prong collar. Maybe they have one.
just trying to get a better idea
multiple marriages possibly? i THINK you mentioned you worked 3-4 jobs at a time that sort of thing, maybe he feels abandoned? when was the last time you talked to him? does he have contact with his father?
i realize they are adults but even adults have hurts that sometimes stem from their childhoods.
i know my mother, though in the same home, was totally absent emotionally. she worked several jobs at a time too and i suppose i still have some resentment about that... never having her to talk to. i had the materialistic things i needed but not the motherly love i needed. i try very hard to be there for my children... suppose that would be part of the reason i work from home...
i have a relationship with my mother and i will always love her but i will admit there are times when i'm short with her. sometimes i think she has selective memory as far as the facts of my childhood. i believe she thinks everything was perfect and she was the best. lol.
she has never apologized about ANYTHING..... suppose that would be part of her denial. just wondered if things may be similar between you and your children.
you may very well just have ungrateful children or maybe they have hurts that need healed. :)
i hope you made amends with your son. very sad to me.
I do not know if he is, still, have no idea
A mother does not deserve abuse from him or from anyone else. I do not have in my own home. I went to his home to give him a gold watch my father wanted him to have, a family Bible and had several watches I did not want and offered him those. I basically was ambushed and could not believe his anger. This was in 2005. I do not know if he is still on this, did not ask them, have not asked since. He is a grown man. He has a wife and grown children now. I do not tell him what to do nor do I try to put myself in their lives. If I were ashamed of my actions, I have no problem saying I was wrong. I hope for his family's sake he is off drugs. I talk with his wife occasionally - she called recently to say sorry for the loss of my longtime pet.
Just an idea....sm
Little league fund raiser...candy bars $1.00 ...What we did was stand inside the vestibule to the bank on Saturday morning...Ya know they're going in to get money and weren't gonna pass up 2 boys with mitts filled with candy and deny a contribuion to the home team.
Now, if we were in an office setting we'd all be selling each other wrapping paper, candles, candy or cookies on the behalf of our daughters or sons on a regular basis, or hit up your family and friends.
Who in their right mind would let their daughter or son walk up to a stranger's door in this day and age?
The good ol' days of 50 cent cookies (that I sold as well door-to-door), magazine sales, and the black and white TV are long gone.
 Cat
Idea
"I do not think I would be able to get anyone for what I pay her . . . " Maybe she wouldn't have to steal if you paid her a decent wage, and why do you need a housekeeper if it is just you and hubs?
an idea that may help....
I am not sure if you can do this feasibly, but if you have been communicating with this person, the police can track his computer ID number and find out where he is. If you have any kind of conversation in an email, IM, or even through the site, they can track his computer.
Another suggestion may be to report this to craiglist, as this is where you found him and they will have info on him to give to the authorities.
I hope this helps you.
Another idea you might consider - sm
When my grandfather passed away, my grandmother was in the same situation as your dad.
Might sound crazy but this is what we did.
Gma and Gpa had a three bedroom home and I had two kids. I talked it over with Gma and we moved in with her temporarily. Her wishes were the same. She wanted to die in her home, her bed.
She was still fairly active but she did have some significant health issues and memory issues. Her safety was a big concern.
The kids weren't too thrilled at first but it was probably the best 2 years of their childhood. Gma always had a story or something to talk about and we all really re-connected.
After Gma passed, we moved back into our home. We did have an occasional home weekend when my aunt was in town to visit. That way they could have a more personal visit and we had a little time to ourselves too.
It worked out well for us. Might not be the same for everyone but I sure was glad we could give her what she wanted.
I have no idea.
I just went to elementary school with the girl and then she moved so I have no idea where she went from there. As far as I knew she was not under any treatment or anything. Most of the other kids just thought she was "weird." Aside from that I have only transcribed one report for such (several years ago) and it did not go into much detail. Sorry I do not have any more information for you.
I had no idea
xxxx
I have no idea whether the mom
had any issues with the fact that she was being deployed. There was nothing mentioned in the social history about caregiver issues, psychosocial stressors, etc. So, I'm not saying she wanted to stay and was denied. I guess I was just questioning what the maternity policy is in the service dept. I guess I just thought when you had a baby in the military, you were given the option of being discharged or being stationed in the USA. Since your hubs is in the Air Force (bless him by the way), could you tell me what the maternity policy is for female officers? Are they only allotted 6 or 12 weeks (for a healthy newborn delivery)? Can they request to be stationed in the USA for a period of time after that?
I have kids, and I just can't imagine being separated from them at such a young age. Of course, any age would be difficult, but an infant is so dependent on her mom. Wow - what an eye opener and definitely some food for thought today.
another idea
Actually according to top scientists the earth IS in a cooling age right now. He and other scientiest (many) say we're on our way to an ice age.
Anyway...I have another recipe....So so simple and so good.
1 reg size package of cream cheese and one can of chile (with or without beans - your choice).
Mix them and heat til hot and bubbly. MMMMMMMMMMM I can eat the whole thing by myself.
Another idea...
What if you took his favorite privileges away (video games, TV watching, bicycle, whatever) and told him he could not have them back until he could change/control his behavior. Then investigate ways to help him change his behavior for the better.
If you can do this without an argument and state it as matter of fact, then the onus is on him to change his behavior. If he wants his stuff back bad enough, he'll change.
I would like to point out it
definitely helps me if I don't argue and just maintain my position.
I had no idea
you could just call them up. I would have never ever thought to do that! Thanks for sharing!
where did you get the idea that you have to pay? nm
x
Here's one idea SM
We always chipped in (each family) a few bucks toward a gift certificate at his favorite restaurant, or if you don't know his favorite place, pick a really nice place. If he's married then he and his wife can enjoy a night out. Of course there's always the idea of having all the kids sign a T-shirt or a soccer ball and presenting it to him as well.
Bad idea...
What about the overweight kids that get picked on...what about the "dorky" kids that get picked on... what are they to do? Put up with it? Get counseling? No, just because homosexuals get bullied doesn't mean they are that much more at risk for dropping out or other consequences as the other kids who get bullied. They can't segregate from the real world, and IMO, this world is much, much more tolerable toward homosexuals today than ever before. I won't go into the rest of my opinion regarding this subject cause I don't wanna open a can of worms, but in a nutshell....NO no gay-friendly high school! I'd be super upset if my tax dollars were going to pay for this!
I had no idea either! nm
x
You definitely have the right idea
As long as it's done in moderation I don't see anything wrong with it. It definitely sounds like you have a system that works for you and your family. I guess I'm lucky in that I have daughters, the youngest one is pretty young for video systems, although she does have an educational V-Smile system, and the older one (14) has a Play Station 2 that got old really fast as she got older (we've had it for quite a few years). Now she's into all the girly stuff and has never wanted any of the other systems.
We almost got a Wii this Christmas for the whole family but decided against it because of the cost. Our friends have one and it really looks like a lot of fun.
Same idea...
My mother loves to get a box filled with pretty stationary and a pen. She uses them for thank you notes at church.
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