I know it is very harsh...the thing is I have asked her so many times (sm)
Posted By: What would you do? on 2008-10-21
In Reply to: Cutting out the grandparent(s) sm - Anonamiss
and the things she says are hurtful to my children. I am not petty and it is not over something small like candy or just having a difference of opinion. The things she says to them really scare and upset them. She let them watch a woman giving birth on TV once when they were very young...I had not explained yet to them exactly how a baby gets out...they were both very upset. She also has told other family members that she believes my husband is a child molester and that he has made my son, who is 11, gay. My husband is not a molester. My son likes girls. He has no idea she ever said that, but if he ever heard that she did, it would probably be very devastating to him. Each time I have sat down and tried to explain to her that we don't expose our children to this or that, and that we don't teach them to believe that there are ghosts or demons after them, she says she is a grown woman and can say whatever she wants to and gets all teary-eyed and wants to cry. Then later she yells at me, "oh, yeah, that's right I'm not supposed to say anything." She kept the kids while I was gone overnight this past weekend and I specifically asked her not to say anything that would scare them. She let my daughter invite a friend to sleep over. She told them all about ghosts and demons and how she once saw a demon in her closet. The girl sleeping over got scared and cried to go home at midnight. My daughter called me on my cell at midnight crying because her friend was scared and going home and she was also scared. At what point do I draw the line?
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I have asked that question many times. See msg.
I have been told that fresher eggs are harder to peel. I've been told that you have to peel them immediately after cooling them. I've been told to peel them under running water.
I wish I knew which was the right answer? How come some eggs from the same carton cooked in the same pan in the exact same way for the same amount of time are easy to peel, yet others are difficult? Grrr...
It's not the same thing, but since you asked
I do also think most protect-the-poor-American-from-his-own-stupidity laws are pretty unnecessary.
I do think pot should be decriminalized (not legal per se, just not something that can ruin your ability to get a job because of a conviction, not something that should land you in jail, etc).
I do think cigarette smoking should be illegal in public because the fumes travel to bother innocent bystanders.
I do not think seatbelts should be required for adults, although I do think they should be mandatory for kids.
I think helmet laws for motorcycles are ridiculous - if somebody wants to see their brains splattered on the pavement at 75 MPH, well, I think it's called Survival of the Least Stupid...
Back to the chemo question, though - I think doctors do a very good job of explaining the risks, benefits, expected outcomes, side effects, etc. of their field of knowledge (chemo), but they're not as educated about alternative means.
The alternative specialists have not invested nearly enough time and effort into precisely quantifying the success ratios of their products. (i.e., they haven't spent nearly as much time on double-blind placebo-controlled studies).
As a result, when I came in as an overwhelmed petrified hysterical mom trying to figure out what the best thing to do for Joel was, I made the choice to go with what I could quantify, and that meant traditional chemo. And it was a living torture to watch him suffer, to watch him turn frange of motion a beautiful happy precocious very deeply insightful 3-year-old into a way-too-wise for his years child who once asked me if "all little kids go to chemo?"
But I'll keep saying this until I'm completely hoarse: It is the PARENTS of the child, not the politicians or the doctors or the lawyers or the newspaper editoralists, who are going to have to live with the results of their choices. The parents, therefore, deserve the first and the final choice!
Ditto on that, first thing I asked my DH was - sm
was he divorced/married (he was divorced), did he have kids (no he didn't) and did he smoke (no again--yeah) I didn't mind that he was divorced but after having seen what a friend was going through aftering marrying a guy with 2 kids made me not want to deal with that issue; as for smoking I hate it and every previous guy I date (most of them anyway) smoked, though they all did quit for me, but took it back up after we broke up (what dopes). Other important issues were, did they have a car, a good job, and could they cook for themselves.
A couple years ago I asked about the same thing - sm
it my case it turned out to be the dog food. Maggie was on Purina One, I switched her to Wellness a good quality dogfood, and presto no more smell. So if the dog has always been stinky the dogfood may be to blame.
So glad you asked this, have wondered the same thing. nm
!
First thing my husband asked when I told him was...sm
Did she get married before it happened?
That is either the sweetest or saddest thing I have ever heard.
Same thing happened to me plus they asked for a contribution to the honeymoon!
My husband's cousin's daughter was married in New York City. We traveled from Virginia for this wedding. The bride and groom barely spoke to our table, just came by to say hello and collect the envelopes. Six months later all we received was a picture card (same as the ones we receive at Christmas) with "Thank you for your gift. John and Jane" printed on the bottom. No "Dear Lois and Louie" written at the top, nada. Needless to say we will not be attending another wedding for this family. I was shaking my head after receiving this. I guess we were supposed to be grateful that she invited us at all?
I've done it so many times -- most exciting thing
Wow, where do I start? I left MI when I was 23, having heard San Diego was nice. I loaded up the Chevy and headed West. One of many, many adventures I've had. I've driven back and forth relocating across this country too many times to count, taking my job with me where ever I go. Atlanta, Chicago, LA, San Diego. I've done it with cats, a baby, and a 30-year-old car -- everytime all by myself. I have a CB radio to keep in touch with the truckers and they would always help me when I would break down, overheat, or need any sort of help. There is nothing like seeing this great country of ours one slow mile at a time. Colorado and Utah are by far the most beautiful, but treacherous because of the Rocky Mountains.
As far as moving to a city you don't know a whole lot about, you have to contact the Chamber of Commerce for any particular city for all sorts of information about their town --- also part of the adventure. I always loved being a stranger in a strange land.
And fear, oh yes, but more bravery than anything. I've always told people that pretend bravery is the same as the real thing, just fake it and you'll do fine. If you're young and courageous, I say totally go for it!!
Oh, please! End times! People have been saying that since the beginning times!
It's just sensationalism. It seems that journalism has gone to a warm place in a handbasket. I briefly majored in journalism back in 1980, and what passes for journalism now would have flunked any of us right our of an entry-level course! It's all sensational reporting, because networks think that brings in the viewers, and thus drives up the advertising price that they can charge during broadcasts.
Another of my pet peeves in "journalism" is the phrase "Unconfirmed sources say . . . " Yeah. Right. Unconfirmed sources is just another way of saying, "Rumor has it . . . "
Next time there is breaking news, listen for it. It's said over and over again, because the networks and stations want to get the news out first. I don't know what happened to fact-checking and pursuit of the truth in journalism, but it's all about getting info out fast, and keeping the public tuned in with the most sensational reports that they can put out there.
Back in the days of the Roman Empire, people were treating each other pretty badly and in unbelievable ways, too. Crucifixion comes to mind. So, I don't really think modern news reports are pointing to end times any more than at any other time in recorded history.
So very harsh -
And if the shoe were on the other foot? What if your daughter or granddaughter were raped and you forced them to carry a baby what would remind them every single day of the trauma they suffered.
You may think it murder but it could cost you far far more than you could ever imagine if you forced that decision on your daughter or granddaughter in that situation. Harden your heart a little more because they would never forgive you. Truly, NEVER forgive you.
So harsh.
I think he loves that little girl.
How truly harsh you are
My grandson also comes into bed with his mother, as he has had nightmares and he is a very well-adjusted, very bright young boy, who is cared for and loved a great. He has a great deal of sympathy and compassion for other people and their feelings; in fact, he knows not to say anything cruel or hurtful to anyone, and act with kindness toward others. Perhaps you need to remember that. His very much a boy, and has a great relationship with his parents, and I seriously doubt that he, or the other children mentioned here will have any perversions or be maladjusted in this life. It is people like you that go around calling others sicko that I fear.
harsh
If you are not ready to settle down, then I don't really think that is his fault. 28 is pretty old to be going out all the time. Sorry if that is harsh :)
Wow! That's a little harsh, don't you think?
I disagree with you that
'nothing makes it the woman's fault?'
I don't think so!
Call me old-fashioned, but I, and I think also other people, have in general the tendency to
'condone' if men sidesteps rather than women stepping aside.
I, myself, I would never have something 'on the side', it's against my nature and morals.
A bit harsh. For me, I am Christian, and though I don't
think you should live the way you think is right. In the end, truth will prevail. As a Christian, I will pray for you just as I do others.
I may have been a little harsh in some of my posts
and if so I apologize. I truly do feel bad for you, I have sisters and I know I would be devastated. I hope someday soon you can both put this in the past and make up. I'm sure Thanksgiving may be a bit sad this year for you but I hope you can find some happiness and enjoy the day as best as possible.
Wow! A little harsh, but true :) nm
x
Not to sound harsh here BUT -
Freedom is not free. The military is there to provide a function in our society. It can provide wonderful opportunities for young people, provide them with a good education and training, BUT there is a chance they can be called to go overseas to fulfill a contract they willingly signed. I would let my children go in a second if they chose that route. I am at least 5th generation military myself. Quite honestly, kids these days have a better chance of being killed in a car accident than in combat. Look at the true statistics. You might feel better if you spoke with the recruiter with her. Just my two cents...Best of luck to her! :-)
Harsh punishment but . . .
like you, I don't agree with this sort of behavior at all. But what recourse does the school have? These days, kids communicate widely via the internet. When one child writes something evil or threatening about another child in a blog or sends bullying emails, parents go straight to the school and ask that something be done about it. In the same vein, shouldn't the school do something about their own teachers being bullied? Most schools now address this sort of thing in their parent/student handbooks.
We can leave this up to the parents, but sadly, lots of parents aren't doing their jobs, either monitoring their children's activities online or teaching them appropriate social behavior. In and of itself, this one comment about a teacher isn't so threatening, but the bigger picture can be pretty upsetting.
I have a friend whose teenage children drive me insane. I can barely keep my mouth shut around them. I would love to sit them down and tell them how obnoxious they are. They are profane and will curse in front of adults and then tell us that we're just uptight and "what's the big deal". Many times as I speak to my friend on the phone, her children will start a conversation with mom while she is on the phone to me. That's rude in itself, but the foul-mouthed comments about their teachers, etc., are horrible. Mom does nothing about it, in fact, she joins in with the remarks. In recent months, I hardly talk to my friend on the phone anymore, because these sorts of things were happening nearly every time I speak to her on the phone. That may not be relative to this situation, but it's an example of the kind of "support" that schools get from parents.
I think the school has to have some say over what the kids are doing online with respect to school, but 10 days total suspension is an awful lot.
Think I was too harsh in my comments to you sm
I apologize, I am very raw right now from undeserved treatment by DIL so when I saw your posting title, it bothered me. I love my grandkids so much that I would welcome a list of "rules" if one were presented to me. It's too bad she uses the Bible, I have had this done to me more than once by those who misunderstand the good book and use it as a weapon. I certainly would have a heart-to-heart with her, don't lose your temper, and let it be known that interpretation of the Bible is a very private affair and she should never mention demons, bring a Bible to your home, etc., etc. Give her the option of playing by your rules and an option of her only playing children's games, watching a movie, etc., and keeping her opinions to herself. Give her supervised visiting priviliges and then you're off the hook if she doesn't accept. If she persists, then she truly is in need of psychological help which is not up to you to provide. Give her the choice and if she chooses to keep it up, then you'll have no recourse, little kids don't need this. At least you tried, it's her choice to not adhere to your rules, unfortunately, she's missing out on a lot, I wish she could see how lucky she is to be "talked to" and given options. Good luck with it. Hate the sin and not the sinner. I once had to lay down the law with my sister and the Bible. I have made it clear that I won't tolerate Bible talk, she can come any time but the conversation has to be light, not inappropriate, not religious and no politics. It has worked pretty well, once in awhile she has a slip and has to be reminded but we are talking - no religion, no end-of-the world,no Jesus talk, it takes reinforcing every once in awhile. Good luck with it all, it's stressful.
i didnt mean to come off harsh
i just dont understand and that is simply because i have never been a smoker
I dont think anyone should ever start because it is addictive and I am aware of that, but there are also other ways to quit. i just was saying it doesn't sound like you really care.... which is completely your choice.
It is not harsh, this is justice for all.
The doctor who performed the IVF is as guilty as this woman, maybe even guiltier (more guilty).
They should go - hand in hand - either to jail or to the looney bin.
Children should get adopted or government takes care of them.
Way harsh? Oh come on. We are all adults here.
This is not a out of the blue tragedy. She sat for two months with lousy paychecks coming in. Why? That is her OWN fault. It would have taken one for me to get movin.
What is wrong with saying get up, get moving and get a job? What is the alternative?
There is no good in crying over something you CAN fix. Maybe the OP NEEDS to find strength now and not be babied.
For the love of Pete!
harsh landlord?
If my tenant fails to pay his rent, I cannot make my mortgage payment. Times are tough all around!
Are you harsh posters cops or parents?
A little late to post, but here's my idea as a mom of 5. Get her out of the house, some place public, Starbucks or the bookstore - a place where she won't storm off and you'll both be civil to each other at least for a few minutes. Tell her you love her, be understanding and really talk to her. Ask her what is going on in her life, is she stressed about something in particular? Don't alienate her. There is a lot of life ahead for you both and this is not a permanent condition for her. If ALL you do is punish you risk sending her off in a bad direction. At the end of the conversation it may seem you got nowhere, but she'll think about things and hopefully be a bit less impulsive. Please post back and let us know how things go.
Happiness is a heart thing; pleasure is a head thing.nm
You asked for it, you got it.
Link to WalMart website selling gay and lesbian books. I have also seen gay and lesbian books on their store shelves.
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/catalog.gsp?cat=134928
WalMart Partners with gay and lesbian group in August
http://www.afa.net/walmartadage.htm
Since you asked.
If low prices are your top priority, then Wal-Mart may be the place for you; however, I think far too many people make the decision to shop at there without knowing all the facts. If after knowing how Wal-Mart is run they still choose to shop there, that's their choice. We do live in a free country after all. I simply care more about other things besides the lowest price, that's all. (By the way, I am nowhere near wealthy, in case that's what you're thinking. I am a single mom raising 3 children, even putting one through private boarding school, but I am very conscious about whose businesses I support. I pay a little more to shop elsewhere, but that extra price is worth the piece of mind in knowing that I am supporting companies that are good for the environment, our economy, and mankind in general. Sometimes it costs more to do the right things, and I'm okay with that.)
I hope this is helpful to you. :)
(This is from the following website: wakeupwalmart.com)
A Substantial Number of Wal-Mart Associates earn far below the poverty line
* In 2001, sales associates, the most common job in Wal-Mart, earned on average $8.23 an hour for annual wages of $13,861. The 2001 poverty line for a family of three was $14,630. [“Is Wal-Mart Too Powerful?”, Business Week, 10/6/03, US Dept of Health and Human Services 2001 Poverty Guidelines, 2001]
* A 2003 wage analysis reported that cashiers, the second most common job, earn approximately $7.92 per hour and work 29 hours a week. This brings in annual wages of only $11,948. [“Statistical Analysis of Gender Patterns in Wal-Mart’s Workforce”, Dr. Richard Drogin 2003]
Wal-Mart Associates don't earn enough to support a family
* The average two-person family (one parent and one child) needed $27,948 to meet basic needs in 2005, well above what Wal-Mart reports that its average full-time associate earns. Wal-Mart claimed that its average associate earned $9.68 an hour in 2005. That would make the average associate's annual wages $17,114. [“Basic Family Budget Calculator” online at www.epinet.org]
Wage increases would cost Wal-Mart relatively little
* Wal-Mart can cover the cost of a dollar an hour wage increase by raising prices a half penny per dollar. For instance, a $2.00 pair of socks would then cost $2.01. This minimal increase would annually add up to $1,800 for each employee. [Analysis of Wal-Mart Annual Report 2005]
Wal-Mart forces employees to work off-the-clock
* Wal-Mart’s 2006 Annual Report reported that the company faced 57 wage and hour lawsuits. Major lawsuits have either been won or are working their way through the legal process in states such as California, Indiana, Minnesota, Oregon, Pennsylvania, and Washington. [Wal-Mart Annual Report 2006]
* In December 2005, a California court ordered Wal-Mart to pay $172 million in damages for failing to provide meal breaks to nearly 116,000 hourly workers as required under state law. Wal-Mart appealed the case. [The New York Times, December 23, 2005]
* A Pennsylvania court, also in December 2005, approved a class-action lawsuit against Wal-Mart Stores Inc. by employees in Pennsylvania who say the company pressured them to work off the clock. The class could grow to include nearly 150,000 current or former employees. [Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, January 12, 2006 ]
* In Pennsylvania, the lead plaintiff alleges she worked through breaks and after quitting time — eight to 12 unpaid hours a month, on average — to meet Wal-Mart’s work demands. “One of Wal-Mart’s undisclosed secrets for its profitability is its creation and implementation of a system that encourages off-the-clock work for its hourly employees,” Dolores Hummel, who worked at a Sam’s Club in Reading from 1992-2002, charged in her suit. [Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, January 12, 2006 ]
Wal-Mart executives did not act on warnings they were violating the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA)
* Wal-Mart has known for years of a massive companywide problem of fair labor standards violations but did not take sufficient steps to address the problem. An internal Wal-Mart audit of one week of time records in 2000 from 25,000 employees had alerted Wal-Mart officials to potential violations. The audit found 60,767 missed breaks and 15,705 lost meal times. It also alerted Wal-Mart executives to 1,371 instances of minors working too late, during school hours, or for too many hours in a day. [Steven Greenhouse, “Suits Say Wal-Mart Forces Workers to Toil Off the Clock,” New York Times, A1, 6/25/02]
* Despite this knowledge, Wal-Mart had to settle in January 2005 for violations that took place from 1998 to 2002, Wal-Mart agreed to pay $135,540 to settle U.S. Dept. of Labor charges that the company had violated provisions against minors operating hazardous machinery. [Ann Zimmerman, “Wal-Mart's Labor Agreement Is Criticized by Former Official,” Wall Street Journal, 2/15/05]
* In March 2005, Wal-Mart agreed to pay $11 million to settle allegations that it had failed to pay overtime to janitors, many of whom worked seven nights a week. [Arkansas Democrat Gazette, 11/7/05, Forbes, 10/10/05]
* The State of Connecticut, investigating Wal-Mart’s child labor practices after the federal investigation ended, found 11 more violations. In June 2005, Connecticut fined Wal-Mart Stores Inc. $3,300 over child labor violations after a state investigation found that some minors lacked proper paperwork and were operating hazardous equipment at the stores. [“Wal-Mart Is Fined for Child Labor Violations,” Bloomberg News, June 22, 2005]
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Wal-Mart and Health Care
Download the Wal-Mart and Health Care Flyer - PDF
Wal-Mart’s Health Care Plan Fails to Cover Over 775,000 Employees
* Wal-Mart reported in January 2006 that its health insurance only covers 43% of their employees. Wal-Mart has approximately 1.39 million US employees. [http://www.walmartfacts.com/docs/1625_jan2006healthcarebackgrounders_576890240.pdf]
Wal-Mart’s Health Insurance Falls Far Short of Other Large Companies
* On average for 2005, large companies (200 or more workers) cover approximately 66% of their employees. If Wal-Mart was to reach the average coverage rate, Wal-Mart should be covering an additional 318,000 employees [Kaiser Family Foundation, 2005 and http://www.walmartfacts.com/docs/1625_jan2006healthcarebackgrounders_576890240.pdf].
Wal-Mart’s Health Care Eligibility is Restrictive
* Part-timers—anybody below 34 hours a week – must wait 1 year before they can enroll. Moreover, spouses of part-time employees are ineligible for family health care coverage for 2006. [Wal-Mart Stores, “My Benefits, New Peak Time Benefits Making ad Difference For You,” 2006]
* Full-time hourly employees must wait 180 days (approximately 6 months) before being able to enroll in Wal-Mart’s health insurance plan. Managers have no waiting period. [Wal-Mart 2006 Associate Guide]
* Nationally, the average wait time for new employees to become eligible is 1.7 months. For the retail industry it is 3.0 months. [Kaiser Family Foundation & Health Research and Educational Trust, 2005]
All of Wal-Mart’s Health Plan’s Are Too Costly for Its Workers to Use
* Since the average full-time Wal-Mart employee earned $17,114 in 2005, he or she would have to spend between 7 and 25 percent of his or her income just to cover the premiums and medical deductibles, if electing for single coverage. [Wal-Mart 2006 Associate Guide and UFCW analysis]
* The average full-time employee electing for family coverage would have to spend between 22 and 40 percent of his or her income just to cover the premiums and medical deductibles. These costs do not include other health-related expenses such as medical co-pays, prescription coverage, emergency room deductibles, and ambulance deductibles. [Wal-Mart 2006 Associate Guide and UFCW Analysis].
* Wal-Mart trumps the affordability of its new health care plan. According to Wal-Mart, “In January [2006], …Coverage will be available for as little as $22 per month for individuals” [www.walmartfacts.com]
* What Wal-Mart’s website leaves out: Coverage is affordable, but using it will bankrupt many employees. Wal-Mart’s most affordable plan for 2006 includes a $1,000 deductible for single coverage and a $3,000 deductible for family coverage ($1,000 deductible per person covered up to $3,000). [Wal-Mart 2006 Associate Guide]
Wal-Mart Admits Public Health Care is a “Better Value”
* President and CEO Lee Scott said in 2005, "In some of our states, the public program may actually be a better value - with relatively high income limits to qualify, and low premiums." [Transcript Lee Scott Speech 4/5/05]
Wal-Mart’s Health Care is Getting Costlier
* Between 2000-2005, the cost of premiums rose 169 percent for single coverage and 117 percent for family coverage. [UFCW analysis of annual Wal-Mart Associate Guides].
* In comparison, premiums for family coverage in the U.S. have increased only by 59%, from 2000-2005. [Employer Health Benefits: 2004 Annual Survey, Kaiser Family Foundation & Health Research and Educational Trust, 2004] Wal-Mart Employees Pay More for Health Care Costs
* In 2004, Wal-Mart employees, in total, paid approximately 41% of the plan costs [Wal-Mart IRS 5500 Filings, 2005].
* Nationally for 2004 on average employees paid for only 16% of single coverage costs and 28% of family coverage costs [Kaiser Family Foundation, 2005].
Wal-Mart Covers Less of the Health Care Costs Compared to Its Competitors
* In a state analysis, the Massachusetts Department of Health and Human Services found that in 2003, Wal-Mart covered only 52% of total health care premium costs compared to K-Mart which covered 66%, Target which covered 68%, and Sears which covered 80% [“Employers Who Have 50 or More Employees Using Public Health Assistance,” Division of Health Care Finance and Policy, 2/2005]
Wal-Mart’s Spending Falls Below Industry Standards
* Wal-Mart’s spending on health care for its employees falls well below industry and national employer averages. In 2002, as reported in the Wall Street Journal, Wal-Mart spent an average of $3,500 per employee. By comparison, the average spending per employee in the wholesale/retailing sector was $4,800. For U.S. employers in general, the average was $5,600 per employee, Therefore, Wal-Mart’s average spending on health benefits for each covered employee was 27% less than the industry average and 37% less than the national average. [Bernard Wysocki, Jr. and Ann Zimmerman, “Wal-Mart Cost-Cutting Finds a Big Target in Health Benefits,” Wall Street Journal September 30, 2003 p1]
Wal-Mart Only Spends 77 Cents an Hour Per Employee for Health Benefits
* In 2004, Wal-Mart spent $1.5 billion on its health insurance. This amounts to an employer contribution of around only $0.77 an hour per employee. This accounts for approximately a half-percent of Wal-Mart's $285 billion in sales in 2004. [Susan Chambers, Wal-Mart Internal Memo, 2005, Wal-Mart Annual Report, 2005].
Wal-Mart Increased Advertising More Than Health Care
* In 2004, Wal-Mart spent nearly the same amount on advertising as it did on health insurance. In 2004, Wal-Mart reports that it spent $1.5 billion on health care benefits and $1.4 billion in advertising. [Wal-Mart Annual Report 2005, Susan Chambers, Wal-Mart Internal Memo, 2005]
* Between 2003 and 2004, Wal-Mart increased its advertising budget by $434 million, only increasing its spending on employee health care by $100 million. That means Wal-Mart increased its spending on advertising by 45 percent while only increasing its spending on employee health care by 7 percent. [Wal-Mart Annual Report 2005, Susan Chambers, Wal-Mart Internal Memo, 2005]
* In fact, Wal-Mart has consistently increased spending on advertising more than its spending on employee health care. Between 2002 and 2003, Wal-Mart put more new funds into advertising than into health care. Wal-Mart increased spending on advertising by $290 million, while only increasing health care spending by $215 million for the same period. (note: this also occurred in 1995-96, 1997-98,1998-1999). [Wal-Mart Annual Reports and 5500 Filings]
One Out of Six Wal-Mart Employees Has No Health Care Coverage At All
* This is more than double the national percentage for large firms (firms with over 100 employees). In fact, we estimate that Wal-Mart accounted in 2005 for more than 1 out of every 40 uninsured workers who are employed at a large firm. [Susan Chambers, Wal-Mart Internal Memo, 2005; Wal-Mart Annual Report; “Employer-Sponsored Health Insurance Coverage: Sponsorship, Eligibility, and Participation Patterns in 2001,” Bowen Garrett, Ph.D., released by the Kaiser Family Foundation September 2004].
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Costs to Taxpayers
Download the Wal-Mart and Cost to Taxpayers fact sheet - PDF
Your tax dollars pay for Wal-Mart's greed
* The estimated total amount of federal assistance for which Wal-Mart employees were eligible in 2004 was $2.5 billion. [The Hidden Price We All Pay For Wal-Mart, A Report By The Democratic Staff Of The Committee On Education And The Workforce, 2/16/04]
* One 200-employee Wal-Mart store may cost federal taxpayers $420,750 per year. This cost comes from the following, on average:
o $36,000 a year for free and reduced lunches for just 50 qualifying Wal-Mart families.
o $42,000 a year for low-income housing assistance.
o $125,000 a year for federal tax credits and deductions for low-income families.
o $100,000 a year for the additional expenses for programs for students.
o $108,000 a year for the additional federal health care costs of moving into state children's health insurance programs (S-CHIP)
o $9,750 a year for the additional costs for low income energy assistance.
[The Hidden Price We All Pay For Wal-Mart, A Report By The Democratic Staff Of The Committee On Education And The Workforce, 2/16/04]
Health care subsidies compared to executive compensation
* Excluding his salary of $1.2 million, in 2004 Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott made around $22 million in bonuses, stock awards, and stock options in 2004.
* This $22 million could reimburse taxpayers in 3 states where Wal-Mart topped the list of users of state-sponsored health care programs, covering more than 15,000 Wal-Mart employees and dependents. [Wal-Mart Proxy Statement and News Articles GA, CT, AL].
Your tax dollars subsidize Wal-Mart's growth
* The first ever national report on Wal-Mart subsidies documented at least $1 billion in subsidies from state and local governments.
* A Wal-Mart official stated that “it is common” for the company to request subsidies “in about one-third of all [retail] projects.” This would suggest that over a thousand Wal-Mart stores have been subsidized. [“Shopping For Subsidies: How Wal-Mart Uses Taxpayer Money to Finance Its Never-Ending Growth,” Good Job First, May 2004]
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Community Impact
Download the Wal-Mart and Community Impact Fact Sheet - PDF
Wal-Mart’s growth negatively impact worker’s wages
* The most comprehensive study of Wal-Mart’s impact showed that the stores reduced earnings per person by 5 percent. This 2005 study by an economist from the National Bureau of Economic Research used Wal-Mart’s own store data and government data for all counties where Wal-Mart has operated for 30 years, It found that the average Wal-Mart store reduces earnings per person by 5 percent in the county in which it operates. [David Neumark, The Effects of Wal-Mart on Local Labor Markets 2005]
The Cost of Wal-Mart’s entry into a community can be significant
* According to a 2003 estimate, the influx of big-box stores into San Diego would result in an annual decline in wages and benefits which could cost the area up to $221 million [San Diego Taxpayers Association (SDCTA), 2003]
Lower wages mean less money for communities
* When an employer pays low wages to its employees, the employees have less money to spend on goods and services in the community, which in turn reduces the income and spending of others in the community. In other words a reduction in wages has a multiplier impact in the surrounding area.
* For instance, in 1999, Southern California municipalities estimated that for every dollar decrease in wages in the southern California economy, $2.08 in spending was lost-- the $1 decrease plus another $1.08 in indirect multiplier impacts. [“The Impact of Big Box Grocers in Southern California” Dr. Marlon Boarnet and Dr. Randall Crane, 1999.]
Wal-Mart hurts other businesses when it comes to town.
* In Maine, existing businesses lost over 10 percent of their market in 80 percent of the towns where Wal-Mart opened stores. [Georgeanne Artz And James McConnon, The Impact of Wal-Mart on Host Towns and Surrounding Communities in Maine, 2001]
* Food stores in Mississippi lost 17 percent of their sales by the fifth year after a Wal-Mart Supercenter had come into their county, and retail stores lost 9 percent of their sales [Kenneth Stone and Georgeanne Artz, The Economic Impact of a Wal-Mart Supercenter on Existing Businesses in Mississippi, 2002]
* Over the course of [a few years after Wal-Mart entered a community], retailers' sales of apparel dropped 28% on average, hardware sales fell by 20%, and sales of specialty stores fell by 17%. [Kenneth Stone at Iowa State University, “Impact of the Wal-Mart Phenomenon on Rural Communities,” 1997]
* In towns without Wal-Marts that are close to towns with Wal-Marts, sales in general merchandise declined immediately after Wal-Mart stores opened. After ten years, sales declined by a cumulative 34%. [Kenneth Stone at Iowa State University, “Impact of the Wal-Mart Phenomenon on Rural Communities,” 1997]
Wal-Mart destroys the environment
* Between 2003 and 2005, state and federal environmental agencies fined Wal-Mart $5 million.
* In 2005, Wal-Mart reached a $1.15 million settlement with the State of Connecticut for allowing improperly stored pesticides and other pollutants to pollute streams. This was the largest such settlement in state history. [Hartford Courant, 8/16/05]
* In May 2004, Wal-Mart agreed to pay the largest settlement for stormwater violations in EPA history. The United States sued Wal-mart for violating the Clean Water Act in 9 states, calling for penalties of over $3.1 million and changes to Wal-Mart’s building practices. [U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, May 12, 2004, U.S. v. Wal-Mart Stores Inc., 2004 WL 2370700]
* In 2004, Wal-Mart was fined $765,000 for violating Florida’s petroleum storage tank laws at its automobile service centers. Wal-Mart failed to register its fuel tanks, failed to install devices that prevent overflow, did not perform monthly monitoring, lacked current technologies, and blocked state inspectors. [Associated Press, 11/18/04]
* In Georgia, Wal-Mart was fined about $150,000 in 2004 for water contamination. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 2/10/05]
Wal-Mart increases vehicle traffic
* A 2004 study of estimated additional driving costs of Supercenters in the San Francisco Bay area concluded that there would be up to an additional 238 million vehicle miles traveled per year. [Supercenters and the Transformation of the Bay Area Grocery Industry: Issues, Trends, and Impacts. Bay Area Economic Forum, 2004]
* These extra miles traveled could cost communities in the Bay area up $ 256 million in additional costs for infrastructure repair and environmental degradation. [Supercenters and the Transformation of the Bay Area Grocery Industry: Issues, Trends, and Impacts. Bay Area Economic Forum, 2004]
Wal-Mart desecrates sacred grounds
* A nonprofit group that oversees the care of Native Hawaiian remains filed a lawsuit in 2003 against Wal-Mart, the State of Hawaii and the City of Honolulu. It alleged they violated state law dealing with the protection of preservation of human remains and desecration of graves. More than 60 sets of human remains were found at the Wal-Mart construction site in Honolulu. [KHNL-TV/KHBC/KOGG, HI. 7/20/2005]
* In 2004, Wal-Mart built a 71,902-square-foot store near the Pyramids of the Sun and Moon in San Juan Teotichuacan, Mexico. Teotihuacan was called "the place where the gods were created" by the Aztecs. [Knight Ridder, 10/25/04]
* In 1997, the Alliance for Native American Indian Rights in Tennessee called for a retail boycott of Wal-Mart after construction began on a site for a new store near Nashville. According to a state archaeologist, the site contained 150 graves. [Fulton County Daily Report, 11/30/00, Chattanooga Free Press, 11/23/98]
Wal-Mart's empty stores are blighting communities
* As of May 2006, Wal-Mart Realty has listed 320 vacant or soon to be vacant properties that the company is looking to lease or sell. They total to over 25 million square feet. Combined they are more than 6 times larger than the Pentagon building and larger than 440 football fields. [www.walmartrealty.com]
* Wal-Mart’s rapid expansion of Supercenters and Sam's Clubs has contributed to hundreds of vacant stores across the country. [“Wal Mart site: Use as is or rebuild?”, Dallas Morning News, 2/20/02]
* When Wal-Mart decides to convert a discount store into a larger Supercenter, it is often cheaper or easier simply to relocate entirely. David Brennan, associate professor of marketing at the University of St. Thomas, in St. Paul, Minn, noted that Wal-Mart stores relocate so regularly that, “it is not uncommon to relocate right across the street." [“Home Depot to Move from Old to New Store Next Door,” Providence News-Journal, 8/17/03]
* Wal-Mart’s stores are uselessly large for most other tenants. An average discount store is 97,000 square feet. Wal-Mart’s Supercenters are on average nearly twice as large at 186,000 square feet. [www.walmartfacts.com]
* Also Wal-Mart often resists other large retail stores moving in. A president of a major real estate developer in Dallas said in 2002, “They're not going to be very receptive to any retailer going into it and even if they sell it, they might put a non- compete clause in there.” As one Wal-Mart spokesperson said in 2004, "There are times when it's in our interest to get the property moving faster, but we're certainly not going to give a competitor an advantage." [Dallas Morning News 2/20/02, Wall Street Journal, 9/15/04]
* Wal-Mart planned to build another 60 million square feet of store space in 2006, or roughly the equivalent of 1,040 football fields or 16 Pentagon buildings. [Wal-Mart Stores, Twelfth Annual Analysts' Meeting, FD (Fair Disclosure) Wire October 25, 2005]
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Wal-Mart and Imports
* Wal-Mart highlights its American suppliers but imports 60 percent of its goods
* Wal-Mart directly imported 60 percent of the goods they sold in the U.S. in 2004. [Frontline, 11/16/2004]
* Just because Wal-Mart bought goods from suppliers based in the United States does not mean that they were actually manufactured in the United States. In fact, Ray Bracy, Wal-Mart's vice president for federal and international public affairs, was asked, “Do you have any idea what percentage [of non-grocery, domestic sales] comes from overseas?” He responded, “What we don't know is the numbers of products that come from distributors or from manufacturers that they [sic] decide where to manufacture.” Wal-Mart fails to track where their products are manufactured. [Frontline, 11/16/2004]
Wal-Mart and China
Wal-Mart buys much of its merchandise from China
* Wal-Mart reports that it purchased $18 billion of goods from China in 2004.
* Wal-Mart was responsible for about 1/10th of the U.S. trade deficit with China in 2005. [“U.S. Stock Investors Wary of Analyst `Yuan Plays': Taking Stock, Bloomberg, 7/1/05]
* If Wal-Mart were an individual economy, it would rank as China’s eighth-biggest trading partner, ahead of Russia, Australia and Canada. [China Business Weekly, 12/02/2004]
Many of Wal-Mart's “American Suppliers” actually manufacture most or all of their products in China
* An example of an “American Supplier” is Hasbro, headquartered in Rhode Island. Today, Wal-Mart is the largest purchaser of Hasbro products—accounting for 21 percent of all Hasbro goods or more than $600 million in sales. But Hasbro reports, “We source production of substantially all of our toy products and certain of our game products through unrelated manufacturers in various Far East countries, principally China.” Hasbro specifies that “the substantial majority of our toy products are manufactured in China.” [2004 Hasbro 10-K filed with the SEC]
Wal-Mart's Chinese factory workers are treated poorly
* Workers making clothing for Wal-Mart in Shenzhen, China filed a class action lawsuit against Wal-Mart in September 2005 claiming that they were not paid the legal minimum wage, not permitted to take holidays off and were forced to work overtime. They said their employer had withheld the first three months of all workers' pay, almost making them indentured servants because the company refused to pay the money if they quit. [New York Times, September 14, 2005]
* Workers making toys for Wal-Mart in China’s Guangdong Province reported that they would have to meet a quota of painting 8,900 toy pieces in an eight hour shift in order to earn the stated wage of $3.45 a day. If they failed to meet that quota, the factory would only pay them $1.23 for a day’s work. [China Labor Watch, December 21, 2005]
Elsewhere workers producing goods for Wal-Mart also face appalling conditions, despite Wal-Mart’s factory inspection program
* Workers from Bangladesh, China, Indonesia, Nicaragua and Swaziland brought a class action lawsuit against Wal-Mart in September 2005 asserting that the company’s codes of conduct were violated in dozens of ways. They said they were often paid less than the legal minimum wage and did not receive mandated time-and-a-half for overtime, and some said they were beaten by managers and were locked in their factories. [New York Times, September 14, 2005]
* A female apparel worker in Dhaka, Bangladesh, said she was locked into the factory and did not have a day off in her first six months. She said she was told if she refused to work the required overtime, she would be fired. Another worker said her supervisor attacked her “by slapping her face so hard that her nose began bleeding simply because she was unable to meet” her “high quota.” [New York Times, September 14, 2005]
* In 2004, only 8 percent of Wal-Mart inspectors’ visits to factories were unannounced, giving supervisors the chance to coach workers what to say and hide violations. Wal-Mart claimed it planned to double unannounced visits by its inspectors but that would still leave 80 percent of inspections announced. [CFO Magazine, August 2005]
* A former Wal-Mart executive James Lynn has sued the company claiming he was fired because he warned the company that an inspection manager was intimidating underlings into passing Central American suppliers. Lynn documented forced pregnancy tests, 24-hour work shifts, extreme heat, pat-down searches, locked exits, and other violations of the labor laws of these Central American countries. [New York Times, July 1, 2005 and James Lynn to Odair Violim, April 28, 2002, www.nclnet.org]
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Wal-Mart and Worker Injuries
Wal-Mart cares little for the safety of its workers
* In 2005, the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit has upheld a $5,000 fine against a Wal-Mart store in Hoover, Ala., for blocking emergency exits. The court upheld a decision by a judge who found that Wal-Mart was guilty of a serious and repeated offense. [New York Times, 5/17/05]
* According to New York Times report in 2004, Wal-Mart instituted a “lock-in” policy at some of its Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club stores. The stores lock their doors at night so that no one can enter or leave the building, leaving workers inside trapped. Some workers reported that managers had threatened to fire them if they ever used the fire exit to leave the building. Instead, they were supposed to wait for a manager to unlock doors to allow employees to escape in an emergency. [New York Times 1/18/2004]
* The West Virginiastate workmen’s comp agency placed Wal-Mart in an “adverse risk” pool because Wal-Mart had unusually high accident rates. [Charleston Gazette, 6/3/99]
Wal-Mart takes a combative approach to workers’ compensation claims
* Arkansas Business in 2001 described Wal-Mart as “the state’s most aggressive” when it comes to challenging worker’s compensation claims. The company “stands far above any other self-insurer in challenges to employee claims.” [Arkansas Business, 1/8/01]
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Wal-Mart Non-Health Care Benefits
Wal-Mart fails to provide a secure retirement benefit for its employees.
* Wal-Mart sponsors two retirement plans — a profit sharing plan and 401(k) plan — neither of which guarantee workers a fixed monthly pension benefit.
* Wal-Mart has shifted risks to employees by concentrating investment in its own stock. From January 2000 to January 2005, the average adjusted share price of Wal-Mart’s stock lost more than a fifth of its value. By being concentrated in one security, employees’ retirement plans are subject to the whims of one stock rather than having the safety of a diversified portfolio. [Wal-Mart Annual Reports, 2000-2005]
* Wal-Mart's retirement plans are Enron-like -- in 2003-04, 67% of their combined assets were invested in Wal-Mart stock. [Wal-Mart Stores 5500 IRS Filing, 2004]
Wal-Mart shares little of its $11 billion profits with employees.
* In 2004, Wal-Mart contributed $570 a year per U. S. employee for profit sharing and 401(k) plans for the United States. [Chambers, Wal-Mart Internal Memo, 2005, www.walmartfacts.com]
* To boost its profits by 1 percent, Wal-Mart is seeking to reduce its contributions to the profit sharing and 401(k) plans from 4 percent of wages to 3 percent of wages. As opposed to reducing the benefit to the 1.2 million hourly workers, Wal-Mart should reduce the number of stock options that it grants to management. In 2004, this expense amounted to 2 percent of net profit. [Susan Chambers, Wal-Mart Internal Memo, 2005, Wal-Mart Proxy Statements 2004-5]
Wal-Mart shifts retirement costs onto communities
* When employees retire without adequate savings and benefits, they are less able to pay for health care, housing, and food. Communities and taxpayers ultimately bear the cost.
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Wal-Mart Anti-Union Policy
Wal-Mart closes down stores and departments that unionize
* Wal-Mart closed its store in Jonquierre, Quebec in April 2005 after its employees received union certification. The store became the first unionized Wal-Mart in North America when 51 percent of the employees at the store signed union cards. [Washington Post, 4/14/05]
* In December 2005, the Quebec Labour Board ordered Wal-Mart to compensate former employees of its store in Jonquiere Quebec. The Board ruled that Wal-Mart had improperly closed the store in April 2005 in reprisal against unionized workers. [Personnel Today, 12/19/05]
* In 2000, when a small meatcutting department successfully organized a union at a Wal-Mart store in Texas, Wal-Mart responded a week later by announcing the phase-out of its in-store meatcutting company-wide. [Pan Demetrakakes, "Is Wal-Mart Wrapped in Union Phobia?" Food & Packaging 76 (August 1, 2003).]
Wal-Mart has issued "A Manager's Toolbox to Remaining Union Free,"
* This toolbox provides managers with lists of warning signs that workers might be organizing, including "frequent meetings at associates' homes" and "associates who are never seen together start talking or associating with each other." The "Toolbox" gives managers a hotline to call so that company specialists can respond rapidly and head off any attempt by employees to organize. [Wal-Mart, A Manager’s Toolbox to Remaining Union Free at 20-21]
Wal-Mart is committed to an anti-union policy
* In the last few years, well over 100 unfair labor practice charges have been filed against Wal-Mart throughout the country, with 43 charges filed in 2002 alone.
* Since 1995, the U.S. government has been forced to issue at least 60 complaints against Wal-Mart at the National Labor Relations Board. [International Confederation of Free Trade Unions (ICFTU), Internationally Recognised Core Labour Standards in the United States: Report for the WTO General Council Review of the Trade Policies of the United States (Geneva, January 14-16, 2004)]
* Wal-Mart’s labor law violations range from illegally firing workers who attempt to organize a union to unlawful surveillance, threats, and intimidation of employees who dare to speak out. [“Everyday Low Wages: The Hidden Price We All Pay for Wal-Mart," A Report by the Democratic Staff of the Committee on Education and the Workforce, 2/16/04]
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Wal-Mart & Gender Discrimination
Download the Wal-Mart and Gender Discrimination fact sheet - PDF
Wal-Mart discriminates against women
* In 2001, six women sued Wal-Mart in California claiming the company discriminated against women by systematically denying them promotions and paying them less than men. The lawsuit, Dukes v. Wal-Mart, has expanded to include more than 1.6 million current and former female employees, and was certified on June 21 2004 as the largest class action lawsuit ever. [Mondaq Business Briefing, November 1, 2004]
* In 2001, while more than two-thirds of Wal-Mart's hourly workers were female, women held only one-third of managerial positions and made up less than 15 percent of store managers. This is all despite women having had on average longer seniority and higher merit ratings than their male counterparts. [Neil Buckley and Caroline Daniel, “Wal-Mart vs. the Workers: Labour Grievances Are Stacking Up Against the World’s Biggest Company,"” Financial Times 11, 11/20/03]
* In 2001, women managers on average earned $14,500 less than their male counterparts. Female hourly workers earned on average $1,100 less than male counterparts. [Drogin 2003]
* In 2001, for the same job classification, women earned from 5 percent to 15 percent less than men, even after taking into account factors such as seniority and performance. [Drogin 2003]
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Wal-Mart & Child Labor
Download the Wal-Mart and Child Labor fact sheet - PDF
Wal-Mart violates Child Labor Laws
* An internal Wal-Mart audit found "extensive violations of child-labor laws and state regulations requiring time for breaks and meals.” [New York Times, 1/13/04]
* One week of time records from 25,000 employees in July 2000 found 1,371 instances of minors working too late, during school hours, or for too many hours in a day. There were 60,767 missed breaks and 15,705 lost meal times. [New York Times, 1/13/04]
* Wal-Mart agreed to pay $135,540 to settle child labor violation charges in January 2005 for allegedly breaking child labor laws in 24 incidents. [Wall Street Journal, 2/12/05]
* Connecticut Governor M. Jodi Rell announced that the state found 11 violations in three Wal-Mart stores in the state and that 337 minors worked at the company's 32 Connecticut stores from 2003 to 2005. The probe came after the Labor Department in February said the retailer had similar violations nationwide. [Bloomberg News, 6/22/05]
* Wal-Mart has also been fined $205,650 for 1,436 violations of child labor laws in Maine for the period 1995 to 1998. The settlement represents the largest number of citations as well as the largest fine ever issued by the Maine Department of Labor for child labor violations. [Bureau of Business Practice News]
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Wal-Mart & Undocumented Immigrants
* In 2003, federal authorities arrested 250 undocumented immigrants who were employed by janitor contracting services and hired by Wal-Mart in 21 states. Many of the janitors - from Mexico, Russia, Mongolia, Poland and a host of other nations - worked seven days or nights a week without overtime pay or injury compensation. Those who worked nights were often locked in the store until the morning. [Wall Street Journal, 11/5/05, CNN Money, “Wal-Mart pays $11m over illegal labor”, 2005]
* In March 2005, Wal-Mart agreed to pay $11 million to settle federal allegations it used undocumented immigrants to clean its stores. This was the largest immigration related fine ever levied. [CNN Money, “Wal-Mart pays $11m over illegal labor”, 2005 and Wall Street Journal, 11/5/05]
* In October 2005, Wal-Mart shut down work on seven stores under construction in North Dakota to check for undocumented workers after two illegal immigrants working on Wal-Mart projects in Bismarck were charged with molesting two 13-year-old girls. [Associated Press, 11/18/05]
* Federal immigration officers, in November 2005, arrested 125 illegal workers in a raid at a Wal-Mart distribution center under construction north of Philadelphia. The workers from Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras and Mexico were detained Thursday at the site. [Associated Press, 11/18/05]
I don't know ~ that's why I asked.
I haven't had a chance to watch it yet. Maybe tonight,
I asked DH what he was seeing with his
eyes closed, because when I close my eyes while my lamp is on I see dark taupe. He said he was seeing PINK! So his eyelids don't work right.
Okay, you asked! Trying this again.....sm
This is about as messy as I get!
Okay you asked for it
This is my very messy desk (ah - room). I am so busy with running a business and also transcribing that I hardly ever have time to clean my desk. What a mess! If you look closely on the floor just to the right of my chair, you can probably see two pink Good and Plenty candies that I forgot to pick up. Hee hee.
See, that is why I asked. The only
bits of news here about her is in a "ticker tape" running at the bottom of the screen. Had no idea anything had been found on a road. The thing about the trunk was that I have seen so many younger women and girls doing that here. It drives me crazy because they are exposed and more vulnerable than if they had just gotten into their cars. I pretty much don't even carry a purse anymore, just whatever I need that can fit into my pockets. Some of the nurses getting to work were locking their purses in the trunks, too, instead of just using a locker inside. It also made me wonder if she were doing that if someone could have ridden all the way home with her, or could have been waiting outside her door somewhere. Too much CSI here or mystery books! Thanks everybody for updating me. I hope she will be alright.
What we all should have asked for...
I'd put her at closer to 250-275, because she's a big girl all over.
On the other hand, if Kirstie Alley can claim a high of 203 (I still giggle when I remember that) when she started Jenny Craig a few years back, maybe all the rest of us have malfunctioning scales.
That's what we should have asked for this year, ladies...The same model/brand of scales used by Oprah and Kirstie Alley!!!
Happy Holidays!!!
Ok, what you asked for
Ellie Lawrence, 5 year old died uncle owned the pit, g'mother also injured in accident- Tanner Monk, Texas died, child, owner killed by his own dogs, Lorinze Redding, 42, SF family dog killed Nicholas Faibish. You need more??? Too many to count, really, happens all the time.
I did not say you asked him to, and I did not...
say it did not work for you. I said twice that it may work some other way, but there are so many women on this board complaining and complaining about men, when perhaps they should be looking at some of the things they do. If you are happy, that is great.
asked for day off also. nm
joining friends - we're all going to watch it together with pot luck
He could have asked you to buy them because (sm)
he did something risky so now he is using them with you to keep you from catching anything he may have possibly gotten. So counting them and making sure he only uses them with you probably won't yeild any results. I would suspect the letter came from a secretary at his office who thinks or knows he is cheating and wanted to alert you. I told a wife once when I worked in an office with many men and I knew one of them was cheating. He expected us to cover for him and say he was here or there when she called and he was really out with his girlfriend. I told his wife one night when she called that the job he told her he was on did not exist. Ask a secretary who works there.
I KNOW!! I asked my son if that was me
always working...
have you ever asked???
Have you ever asked him why he cheated? I mean sit down and just flat out just ask him "Why... and no BS this time"... blah blah work... blah blah dont feel loved... believe me you could probably smeel the bs. If he cheated it is not your fault. Tons of people are married, even hate each other, and still DONT cheat!!! That is just something you don't do. No one can tell you if he is the right one or if he will cheat again.... it is dangerous out there... like STDs and such. Can you take that risk? You need to go somewhere by yourself or take a nice bath and just talk to yourself... literally if you have to.
He is so bad the other day he asked our - sm
9-y/o how old she was, totally unbelieveable. Their birthday's he remembers best, and I think mine is finally drilled into his head, but his parents and brother forget it.
don't be shy, just tell him so over a cup of coffee that you asked him out for.
nn
Well, nobody asked you anyway, first of all. How cruel. nm
.
You asked how others handle it. They sm
handle it by being the grandmother who stays out of it. You sent me a nasty email saying you weren't interfering, and did not wish to be judged, but you ASKED, how do others handle it. Others handle it by letting the parents, not the grandparents, handle it. Nuff said. Please do not email me again.
No, I asked did you watch all of the
case when it was on, all.
Aha! You're right - I asked her and that 's where they got it! (nm)
x
I once asked my mom why we hadn't
been dropped off at a certain daycare center in a while. She had done this so she could be free to shop without twins in tow. I didn't miss the place at all, and was glad she had stopped. (I was probably hoping she just loved us too much to dump us off anymore). She told me she thought it had "gone under." I said I didn't understand, what did she mean. She got impatient and just repeated the same words. I was horrified. I wanted her to use OTHER WORDS! I kept seeing the building slowly being lowered underground ...
You asked for it - here's my opinion (sm)
She will think it is JT's, JT will think it's his, Brad will think it's JT's, it will be raised as JT's and then somewhere down the road, a few years from now, it will turn out to be Brad's - LOL - she will remember "that one time" when they slept together. 
Neither did DD who asked me this morning (sm)
Didn't even know what to tell her exactly. She's a rich brat who is going to beat the legal system, that's all I know.
reason why I asked
I was wondering if you used one of the cat containment systems such as the one below.
http://www.catfence.com/ Would love to use it when I have my own place.
ooh I just asked you this below.....both online!!
at the same time :)
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