I know a young woman with six children who have six different fathers and just
Posted By: Lu on 2009-05-06
In Reply to: need to vent -- are you kidding me ?!? - XanaX
announced she is pregnant with her 7th. She is 28, does not work, has never worked. One of the fathers has been in prison and she is breaking up with the father of her one on the way so she can reconcile with him because he's getting out of prison. She is on welfare, food stamps, any and all government assistance available to her.
Now, I realize that these day with the unemployment rate rising, there are families that need help and I think it is wonderful that this help is available to them. Sixteen years ago when I was pregnant with my son, I had a part time job at a bank with no insurance and my husband at that time was out of work, so I got on Medicaid and food stamps. However, I felt ashamed that I had to do this and my goal was to get off of assistance as soon as I possibly could.
Nowadays, it seems there are way too many irresponsible, unmotivated, and downright lazy people out there shamelessly living off the government teat. I think it is totally irresponsible to have 6 or 7 kids. The only people who can afford to feed a family of 8 are those in a higher tax bracket than I. And the truth is the people who have very large families usually cannot afford it.
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Not all fathers bond with their children
and having said that, a lot of times having a child can also drive couples apart. A child crying all the time whether from colic or just wanting to cry for no reasons can be a headache not just for the mother but the spouse. Some guys leave women when they announce a pregnancy. I think loads of time an infant puts a strain on a marriage. It can happen and does. I was married to 2 different fathers to my children and neither one took the effort to really be what I would call a decent father- probably my fault for having a child with them in the first place but being as I do not believe in children without marriage, what was my choice?? Married them I did, divorce from them I did also.
Can i add my 2 cents worth? In a mall I saw this young woman (sm)
wearing a black plastic garbage bag! She had on black tights, a black turtleneck and the garbage bag with a hole cut out for her head and arms. She had it cinched up around her waist with a really wide black belt!!
When children young, no problem
because shows were not as out there as they are now. However, I had some stepchildren living with me for awhile and I put down my foot and said NO to wrestling. It was full of sex and smut and nothing even 8 and 11 year olds should watch. I am no prude but if I thought too much, it was really too much for kids.
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
A mother's dream! My children are young so (sm)
right now they say sweet things, well at least my 8 year old does...lol. I only dream that when they are your daughter's age they will think that highly of me :-) Congratulations!
The woman has children who are supposed to be caring for her
Interfering could lead to some seriously unpleasant unintended consequences.
Yes, some fathers can be exactly what you said
there are loads of fathers out there who are just not into the baby thing like a woman might be- and having heard just a few minutes ago about the mother in Texas who hung herself and her 4 kids this morning including an 8 month old- well some mothers are not into it either apparently. Thank goodness, I am so past the mothering stage and I can really live it up now and just enjoy my life and what I want to do and only me.
R the fathers made to look at the x-ray, too? -nm
nm
The TLC commercial about fathers
I think it is so sweet and really tasteful.
I don't know, this post down below has me thinking. What are your thoughts, woman to woman. sm
If your spouse came to you and said he was having an affair, would you be more upset if it was with a male or female? For me, definitely a female! If it were male then I would think that it had absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I would be devastated if he were with another woman. Another poster below said she would be more upset if he were found with a male. What about you?
woman to woman talk sm
This has nothing to do with being a christian, it has more to do with group dynamics. I have to deal with it all the time with 6 women in an in-law situation. They are narrow-minded Bible-thumping bigots.I happen to be of another "denomination" and I do attend every function of theirs, weddings, funerals, all of it, receive their communion. I have had my parents die, lost my younger sister and many things happen where they could have reciprocated, yet they will not "step foot" in my church. So where is all their faith, they certainly are not practicing the do unto others. I can relate, it is a horrible way to live. Thank God, I had psychology courses and know about group dynamics, I am in the middle of a herd mentality. I could go on forever, they even have "interventions" when someone in their family wants to marry or date someone not from their denomination. They are awful. I know your pain! It's not your imagination, they hide behind their cohesive "numbers game," one speaks and all the others agree in unison. No one has a chance against this mob. It's tough to be your own person, lots of tears. And guys think it's all in our heads - NOT! Hang in, perhaps you'll have a Divine Intervention somehow.
Kangaroo. cat woman or wonder woman?
x
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
Too young for both
"If an 18 year old isn't mature enough to handle a beer, I dare say he isn't prepared for what killing another person could do to him."
Which is exactly why the military wants them at 18 rather than 21.
2 is too young.
He'll let you know when he's ready.
2 is not too young.
Both of my boys were trained before they were 2. I attributed that to the fact that I only used disposable diapers when we were not at home. All over the world, babies are toilet trained before they are 2. Human beings can learn this basic control very early. This is a fact. In the U.S., disposables are part of our culture. And since their introduction and widespread acceptance, the age at which American children are toilet trained has gone up. Then "big kid" disposables were invented, and now it's not uncommon for kids ages 4 and 5 to still have toileting issues. Others have posted here that their children trained once the pull-ups were stopped. Most people don't like the feel of being wet or soiled. When that is part of the equation, children let you know that they are ready to train much earlier than ages 3, 4, and 5.
Still think it is too young.
God forbid we let our babies be babies.
If they are terrified of the potty chair, they are too young.
I had 1 myself, at a young age, but then we had no
BCPs and ?? I did not want a child born out of wedlock, never. Had children when married and if my daughter wanted an abortion, would have gotten 1. Oh, I do have g'children by the way.
when I was young
I had a dream 3 times of my father dying in a burning car crash - one time I was with him.in the dream . . I never told him or anyone.. but I did worry somewhat about it. . My dad died a few years ago in his 70s of lung cancer. . I wouldn't make too much of the dream. . .
Okay, first of all, that is way too young
Is your hubby overstressed at work or personally (finances, etc)? Is he involved in too many extracurricular activities (little league, soccer, basketball)? How long have you been without? When I first read your post, I just assumed you were older -- 40s/50s -- not too offend anyone in that age group, but just because I think some men get bored with the same *meat and potatoes* and/or may have physical problems, such as the poster below suggested with the testosterone.
At any rate, I'm pretty close to your age and if you're going more than a month without, I would suggest you start asking him why. I don't want to put any suggestions in your head (you probably already have some) as to why he may not be putting out, so I'll just suggest that you talk with him openly about it.
As for me and my hubby, the motto is the same: Put out or get out!!! (LOL of course)
is 27 young enough?
Thank you SOOOO Much for your answer, ive been obsessive compulsively checking hoping someone would give me something!
I have no husband, no kids, but two dogs... the farthest i've moved was six hours from my home town and I love where I live now, been here three years but it is time for a change. I'm curious, where have you settled? San Diego is nice... but I feel at this time in my life, like there is nothing like the warm Atlantic Ocean... I also might be having a mid-life mid-life crisis of sorts! LOL. Thanks again i appreciate your input more than you know!!!
You are young! You need to get out! How about ...
volunteering someplace? There are tons of places that would be happy to have help even for brief periods. You could help someone in need, make some friends. It's good to feel needed, and with all the places who really need volunteers, you ARE needed. You can help others, get out of your house, and feel good about yourself at the same time!
You are either very young or very new. Yes, I work both sm
holiday. There are 24 hours, and I manage to work and spend time with my family, and cook, and enjoy both holidays. Health care is 24/7 and if you are in the field, then you should expect to put in a few hours on a holiday.
No, you do not "deserve" to have them off, of you should find another field. You won't go far in this one refusing to do your part on major holiday. It is not really a big deal. Just put in a few hours, then go enjoy your holiday. Or, put in a few hours at the end of the day. That is the beauty of working at home.
My son is young and works....sm
He went to a lot of trouble to get me a necklace that was a heart, said mom on it and had little "fake" diamonds. He is young, loves to work and it took a lot to save his money to buy gifts for everybody himself. I offered to help but he refused. This is not a necklace I would have chosen myself but because it was carefully selected by somebody that loves me that is what makes it so special. While it might not be something I would "normally" wear. You can bet because of the love and thought that was put into it I will proudly wear it daily because it was carefully chosen for me. How do I know? I was with him shopping and he was about in tears because he wanted me to "go to a different spot" so he could make his special purchase without me watching. While it didnt cost hundreds of dollars, yet was not cheap for a young person to buy I will cherish it forever and most certainly wear it proudly right along with the "real diamond" jewlery that I do have. If you ask me it is just as beautiful as it was a gift from the heart.
I also don't care if they are young
and committing such a horrible crime on someone else who is more vulnerable.
The excuses run out eventually. If they give the excuse that THEY were molested as children then they absolutely KNOW that what they are doing to someone else is COMPLETELY wrong. No sympathy. Not one teeny tiny little bit.
I have a young daughter also...
And I didn't mean LITERALLY that young girls shouldn't vote, just that Sanjaya seemed to be popular with that population and I am tired of seeing him there. Of course the young girls have a right to vote too.
Just got done checking out the Vote for the Worst website and they are really proud of their campaign to keep Sanjaya in there. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, I just hope that all of this madness doesn't get one of the truly talented competitors cut.
But those young men volunteered for this
and agreed to do this as they do believe in it - that is what the tribute is all about
I'm no young girl...
I'm a lot older and I think Blake's adorable. To each is own. And by the way, he's as tall as my husband, who by the WA is no creep. LOL.
Isn't 11 a little young to be home alone??
And with a younger sibling you said? Wow...that's too young to be left alone all day. It is a recipe for disaster. It may be hard, but the advice about taking him in, so to speak, sounds like a good place to start. Though I wouldn't do it at the sacrifice of my kid's happiness and wellbeing...good luck....
Now maybe young girls won't look up to her as a
Young Frankenstein. nm
X
Hey, the Beatles were young once too ...
and those songs weren't too much for them. I agree that some of them are young and don't know the songs, but that's true of any theme they've done. At least they aren't having to choose songs that have been done by prior Idol contestants.
SPOILER WARNING:
I don't dislike Amanda Overmyer (rocker chick), but her skills are limited to one particular type of music, so I'm not sad she was voted off tonight. I don't care for Kristy Lee Cook, so she could have gone. I like Michael Johns, but his performances haven't hit the mark. I enjoy David Cook. He looks happy rather than cocky to me. He looks like he was doing what he was born to do. I can't believe Carly Smithson (tattoos, from Ireland I think) was in the bottom three. Ramiele is missing something but I'm not sure what. Chikezie is fantastic when the song is bluesy. I think Brooke White is good but a bit predictable. I enjoy Jason Castro very much.
Top talents IMO are:
David Archulata, David Cook, Carly Smithson.
I think Syesha Mercado gave an A performance this time also. She just isn't as reliable as my top 3 picks.
nah, just young the first two times. nm
Your kitty is still very young
so try instilling manners into her with positive reinforcement. It really does work. When on the counters or table, tell her no firmly while taking her off. Do this in the same manner every time you catch her. They do get the idea eventually. Try not to yell and get upset as they sense this and then they become focused on your yelling. My cat does not climb on counters and if he needs to throw up, he will go into the kitchen instead of whereever he is. My vet told me about this as I was at my wits end with him. It took a while and a lot of patience. They do calm down so much as they get older. I agree with the watergun. Good luck and hang in there!
he was 19 or 20 and sisters were 12 or 13, and 8 or 9, very young.
nm
Not young but people sometimes do not understand regarding this.
My elderly aunt is in her 80s. I am in early 60s. She has a much better memory than me and she has a close friend who is a scatterbrain like your friend. We are not forgetful because we want to be, it is something we cannot help. I have to write myself notes in order to remember very important things regarding business, etc. I hand my husband very, very important business related matters or else once in my hand they are probably lost. I have a file and put things there but then when I have to have, go looking and looking to find. I have a daughter totally organized and wish I were. Believe me when I am saying your friend does not try to do this.
You ladies sound really young as you
have no idea this is not something new on the scene. Back in the 40s ladies fainted with the swoon singers and like the post said above, if you did your research you will find not a new finding- bulemia and anorexia not an issue then and the ladies acted like that, had nothing to do with self-esteem- that is why our world is soooo mixed up today, everyone wants to put a diagnosis along with a part of a growing up process that is in the past, will continue now and after we are gone from here. As long as the stars and entertainers around, this is just part of what goes along with this type of rapture from these young girls. My girl loved Bon Jovi as did her little friends. I went to a Barry Manilow concert 2 years ago and the ladies swooned with him. Just goes with the territory.
I sure hope you are as young as you come off in this post - sm
Most men don't want to be babied, I am surprised he puts up with it. Do you hover over him, feed him, fetch his slippers, prop up his feet? Boy, as said below you do seem quite insecure. You think by taking care of him and his every whim that will make him love you more? Generally it has the opposite effect. You need to chill, take a step back. Yes it is nice to be affectionate to your husband, but if he is not like that back to you it is not the end of the world. Many guys show they care in other ways, like having a good job and being responsible, handing their paycheck to you every 2 weeks to take care of, taking you out to dinner now and then, changing the oil in your care, taking care of your car, fixing things around the house you ask them to do, picking something up at the store for you that you did not ask for (my DH picks me up the occasional bottle of wine for me, once a blue moon flowers). But if you want him to do something for, but at the same time seem to be spontaneous, give him a list of things you would love for him to do for you; bring home flowers, give you a back rub, play strip poker, whatever your fancy is, he won't know unless you tell him. Communicate! Grow up while you are at it too. As for the picking you up at school, quit begging him, either drive youself or find a different way home, he obviously does not want to pick you up if you have to grovel to get him to do it, you are just going to piss him off in the long run; unless this is a tact to get you not to go to school. If he is trying to stop you from attending and bettering yourself then I would continue to go, but again find a different way home if at all possible so you can show him you can stand on your own two feet. Independence can be empowering. You sound way to dependent on him for your emotional well-being. You are your own person, not an extension of him.
The family of this young man who committed this act should also be....
included in the thoughts and prayers along with those lost yesterday. Imagine the grief and sorrow they must be feeling. They too are the innocent in this.
Doesn't sound young to me. S/L nn w/a
*
I am a single young person
and you know sometimes it is nicer to go out and do things on your own. I have found sometimes when I have gone out with people they do not want to do the same thing so you end up wasting energy trying to convince them or they lollygag and I hate that. As much as it is nice to have someone or a special someone to do things with, there is nothing wrong with being an independent and doing things on your own. As I see it, if I wait around for someone to magically appear to do things with, I may miss out on a lot of good things. As for bus trips, I live in the SF Bay Area and I know I have seen all sorts of neat bus trips to places like national parks, Tahoe, etc and you go in a group and explore.
I think it is too young to be left alone all day during the summer with a ...sm
5-year-old. There will also be 2 girls, ages 13 and 8, left alone all day as well. They are neighbors so it should be interesting. I am the only mother home during the day but I'm not getting involved. I'm taking care of mine. I have to be able to work without constant drama during the day. I may let my daughter go somewhere part-time just to have something to do and not be so bored. This is her first summer home (I worked in an office past 2 summers) and I want her to be able to enjoy it. Things will get better. Time will take care of a lot of it....I hope.
Sounds really young and needing
attention as maybe not getting it from hubby or the wrong kind. Anybody paying attention would probably make her feel better but definitely wrong in her case, married and should take with a grain of salt, in other words don't take a flirt seriously.
Paris is Young and Restless!
aa
And you think young boys don’t know about periods?
The kids here have sex education, boys and girls together, long before the old age of 13. Boys know about periods even if immature- and by the way aging with guys continues on for years, whether 13 or 34! I absolutely would never go completely by what a kid might say and rush the teacher. I have grown children, not kids, and I also wore tampons (like the earlier post) at a very younge age. When I started the period so heavy I had to wear panties with plastic in the crotch and by the WAY---- at 13 I walked to my drug store and got Paregoric because I had such bad cramps. See, it did not kill me to say why I wanted it. It was over-the-counter then and I have no ongoing terrible issues from that. Mountain out of mole hill again!
Not guy either. Very funny, but Young Frankenstein
xx
Young Frankstein is my granddaughter's
favorite movie of all time!
I agree, 2 is too young for boys.
My son turned 3 in July and he has only shown passing interest in potty training. I know I will need to help him with his motivation soon, but for now I am not even worried about it. I also have a 7yo daughter who was potty trained at 2-1/2 and she was very easy. It's true what they say about boys being different than girls when it comes to potty training. I say don't force the issue. I think that tends to complicate things.
As the mother of two young daughters
one who got pregnant with her loser boyfriend at 20 - I can only send hugs and more hugs. No amount of talking did any good - she knew better and was making some kind of statement to us and she got pregnant still thought she was a smarty pants - they then split up, she met someone else, immedately became engaged, planned a wedding and got PG again before wedding. It has only been 18 months since the wedding but she knows she rushed through everything, has regrets but has learned lessons. I would just push contraception, I would let her know how disappointed you are - you have a right to your feelings - support her in other ways if you can and try not to let it ruin your relationship. She is due for a huge fall but they somehow need to experience this. I am so sorry!!
Your daughter is not a young child and she
I am sure knows about the rules of her school. You cannot have 1 rule for 1 and 1 for the others. The schools are so outlandish now that even a drawing of a gun, a drawing of a shooting, etc. has gotten children suspended. You are not allowed to have anything be a gun or pepper spray on the school property. To not know about nor to disregard the rules the schools have now does not fly. There is safety in numbers as you say the children walking home together. If safety is a huge issue with you, then you need to make arrangements to pick her up or have someone else do that.
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