I just want to say what a kind-hearted post this was!! (sm)
Posted By: NCMT on 2007-12-18
In Reply to: This will be hard, but there are things - pxmt
If only everyone in the world could be so understanding of each other!
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How do you deal with unreliable but kind-hearted friend? (sm)
I have a friend who is so sweet and kind, wouldn't hurt a fly, but never has her act together. Chronically having financial issues, phone turned off, electricity turned off, borrows money, phone back on, phone back off, etcl, still more financial issues. Always cancellig plans at the last minute, sometimes with no call, because of course, phone is turned off. She has a fairly good job, and although I know money is tight, it seems she keeps overextending herself. But she is so nice and good-hearted. But I am still frustrated with all the no-shows and cancellations and constant issues. Have you ever had that type of situation and do you just keep dealing with them because they are sweet people or do you just stop dealing with it? Does dealing with it make you an enabler?
What a kind post..sm
I am a very caring person. I have an extreme soft spot for animals. Dogs especially. I have a stray that was apparently dropped off here, and he is a big dog. My husband said he is a Catahoula Kur dog. He is such a sweetheart, but he can aggravate you to death. He is bad about running in the house when you open the door, and he is so big I can't hardly get him out. I have had to literally drag him by his feet out the house. As annoying as that is I can't be mean to him. I feed him everyday and talk to him and pet him. I don't need another dog but I feel so bad for him. I feel like he needs a home and and someone to care for him. So I guess I am stuck with him. I don't have the heart to take him to the pound. I just can't do that. My husband loves dogs too but he says I am just ridiculous. He thinks I treat them like people. I just see it as they are living breathing animals and they feel. There are some people who say I wouldn't feed the dogs that belonged to the guy. I could NEVER let those dogs starve. That is the thing, I think the guy knows what a softie I am and he knows I will not let them do without and he takes advantage of it.
This guy, by the way, is single and fully capable financially of feeding and caring for the dogs. He just is lazy and doesn't want to be bothered when he gets home from work. It isn't my place to care for his dogs but I can't let them starve either. I don't know. I am caught between a rock and a hard spot.
see above post, it kind of addressed what you said too!
I'm just totally at a loss of what to do. I'm almost 28 and I know NO man is going to be perfect or have every quality I want... I just feel like this leads us to arguments and bickering and I just have this fairytale in my mind of how it should be....
What a good-hearted boy he is!
I'm sure he will grow into a fine man and some lucky girl out there will hit the jackpot, husband-wise!
Congratulations on raising a fine son!
Broken hearted. SM
Last Wednesday evening I called the police regarding dog barking right next to my house. It was just terrible all day, 12 hours the dog was at the door and they did not let it in, then they left. I kept leaving the house and coming back to avoid it. It was day off. This has been a problem with these people,who have beautiful dogs. Some days not bad at all, some just terrible. I finally could not take it any longer. I waited for the police to come out in front of theh house and the neighbor and his wife drove up shortly afterwards. When the neighbor first saw the police he apologized for his barking dog, which was still going crazy. When I, trying to be upfront and honest, told him I called and was sorry for doing so, things got bad. He was swinging his arms around, denying everything, etc. He said the next time my car is stuck in the snow I can just remember what I did to him. I never ask for anyone's help, but a few times he helped get my car out. I take care of myself and never, ever ask anyone for help. Now it is silent next door. I love dogs more than anything and just wanted the police to help me speak to him. The policeman said that the guy handled it very immaturely and told the guy he was blowing this out of proportion. I am sad and feel terrible living here now. Please help.
Marilyn...you are a big-hearted
woman and a positive role model for those children. I applaud you for stepping in.
I still find it hard hearted...
Comparing your father in law to a father is not the same thing. This woman is an adult and her father was there while she was growing up. I just think that raising children earns a little compassion and respect. Call me silly. I also think that it is a little unfair that we only get one side of the story. I just hope that she does not write him off and live to regret it. Heaven forbid we act as caring people during the holiday season.
it seems awfully hard hearted for people to say to ignore him...
After all, he is your dad. I do not know what you should do, but I don't think that cutting him out of your life is going to help him any. Sometimes, I think people do things for attention because they need attention.
Some of us are fortunate enough to NOT be cold-hearted shrews!
who care only for themselves and nobody else. We care deeply about our loved ones and it is extremely difficult to turn them out, even if it is the right thing and only thing left to do! It's not about backbone, lady! Where's your compassion? This is painful for her. She is watching her father sink further and further into mental illness and she feels helpless. She wants to fix him, take care of him, and make him better, but she is realizing she can't. That's a painful realization -- the realization that no matter how much you love them, no matter how much you try to help, it will never be enough, you will never succeed, and the only thing left to do is save yourself.
Curious Girl, will eventually do what she needs to do, but doing what is right can be just as painful as something that is wrong. What she needs are shoulders to cry on and people around her to tell her she's a good person NOT criticize her and tell her she needs to grow a backbone!
Rose, the good-hearted, animal-loving ditz!! But with
s
The drinkin kind or the rubbin kind?? sm
So....is that for me to drink so I don't notice or care that my hands are all splotchy black or to get the ink off?  Seriously though, do I use the rubbing alcohol - or like Jack Daniels?? and do I soak in it or what? I never heard of using alcohol but I'll try anything.
I feel that is best too. I have been kind, very kind, to this ...sm
child since he moved here in March. I also am not one of those parent's that thinks my children are perfect. You never know what they might do out of your presence. I do know how I have raised them though and I am all for getting them all together when there is a problem and getting to the bottom of it but anymore that doesn't seem to work. The parents automatically get defensive and start making excuses, etc. I'm going to look for somewhere else to move. I've lived here for 2-1/2 years and we never had a problem until this boy moved in. His mother is a piece of work.
Are those the red kind of
licorce? Have not tried those yet. Wonder if they would be good with, say a few olives on the side?
and that's being kind actually....sm
I could think of dozens of adjectives that are *stronger* than smarmy but probably not permitted to be typed at this website...
GMTA = great minds think alike, eh? 
what kind of dog is it?
x
I would not want to pay for that kind
of therapy. If the therapist cannot stay neutral and professional...I just would not be comfortable either. If my friends and family cannot be my therapist, why would I want my therapist to act like a friend? Good luck in whatever you do.
At least you got a thank you of some kind. sm
There have been a couple times when I haven't even received a thank you note for a wedding gift.
Actually, I think it was just one time, because the other time I finally got the thank you note (lovely, hand written), but it was a *year* later! (And I thought I procrastinated... LOL)
That's kind of what
I figured, but wasn't sure. Are you talking about like the Solarcaine green gel with lidocaine? That's what I put on it, but he will barely even let me do that. I put sunscreen on them on and off all day, but guess not enough! I guess I underestimated that hot Galveston sun! Thanks for the advice.
What kind of look are you going for?
Classic? Country? Rustic? Modern?
Butcher-block (or lookalike) would work for country or rustic. Stainless steel would work for modern. Tile or slate could work for most styles, depending on the design.
I have a Corian-type solid surface countertop which I like. It does scratch fairly easily, but the scratches are easily buffed out with polish unless they are really deep.
Well, I think they are trying to do some kind of (sm)
public service or something, probably about reporting it. Brooke was on at the very end making a little speech, but I actually didn't hear it.
YAY!!! What kind did you get? (sm)
I've been using one for years, but I'm working 2 jobs now and to break the monotony, I use 2 different computers in different rooms. I 'commute' with my ergo keyboard because the one downstairs has a regular keyboard. So, I'm thinking about getting a new one. The one I'm using now is a Microsoft, but I think the model is extinct, so I'm looking for recommendations.
You're not a dork. I know how you feel. It was like... How the heck did I ever type on a regular keyboard!!?? With our job, ergonomics and comfort is everything. Congrats and have fun LOL ;-)
No and if I did that, she is the kind that
would be highly insulted, get her nose out of place. I have honest to goodness kept my mouth shut when I wanted time after time to say something- I love her but I don’t like her. Does any other mother understand this? I have walked on egg shells not saying things. Not an open communication ever with her- she is much into her friends though.
You are too kind!
 20 years ago I would have flew off the handle to have something like this, but now I know it is in His hands, not mine! Thanks for the encouragement.
Me too. I can't think of what kind of job I can do
that isn't MT...I've been doing this for so long. I can write well, and am a heckuva ghostwriter (have done blogs and resume cover letters for friends) but can't figure out where the money is in that. Sigh.
Good luck to everyone.
You all have been so kind
Thank you all so much. Words just cannot express my gratitude for the way you've extended your hearts to a virtual stranger. You're all amazing.
Romey, your post was very nice. I couldn't read it the first time I tried. I had to walk away and come back and read it later.
It is getting easier with time.
Kind of
Usually every year my husband's family gathers here in Central Florida at the beach. However, during the hurricane season of 2004, the condo that my uncle owned timeshare in got damaged to the point of being condemned. So now that we have to actually PAY for a condo, this year we have decided to head up to the panhandle which is halfway between the FL family and the AL family and in the same town as one of the aunts, namely due to gas prices and Lord their drive used to be 10 hours, no fun with kids.
As for us, we will be heading up there which we don't usually do. However, both myself and my husband work from home so we might put gas in each vehicle once a month? We also own a boat which we put gas in but this year we're telling friends who want to come out and go wakeboarding that they're going to have to chip in for gas. As an FYI, boat takes 87 and not great gas mileage. I drive a truck that takes the cheap stuff but gets 19 mpg and less while towing the boat. Husband drives a sportscar that takes 93 BUT gets like 25-28 mpg, to say the least we will be driving his car to the panhandle in May!
what kind of dog is it?
x
You are both so kind, and you are right
on the mark. Yes, the credit cards are his. He lived off credit cards for several years to support himself and his kids after he and his wife split up. His wife never paid child support and he paid for daycare and everything, so had to pay for extras outside of his salary on credit. Then when I came along I was doing real well as a hospital MT, but had to quit because I was here and he needed me to watch the kids. He did not understand I had a shift like a regular job. So, after several months of my back and forth work and being with the kids, the boss gave me an ultimatum daycare for the kids or I leave my job. I told my DH that my income which was very good at the time was important to me as I have supported myself my whole life including being a single mom. But he would not budge. So, I quit. It has been 3 years and most of our marriage my trying to balance kids (I love them don't get me wrong) and work. I finally become a SE, and I am giving him direct deposit on my paycheck with me taking a small percentage out for things for my son. But, since the money is now coming in he is putting it to the credit cards. Anyway, I stopped eating mostly because I got disgusted. He is always having sandwiches and chowing down in front of me. His boy who is a big eater is asking for 3 or 4 snacks a day. My son asks for snacks there's nothing left and he said to me:" Next time you get money mommy, GO FOOD SHOPPING." He said that right in front of DH. But, I just know when I do that the gorging goes on. I explained to DH about telling his son about gluttony, but he laughs at me. So, when I see him and his son eat this way, I get grossed out and am not hungry at all. I am sorry to say all this here. I actually just came back from the doc who gives me nerve pills because of my situation and he says I am doing really well coping with the situation. Which he knows what is going on. He is sending me to see a good counselor who he says," will validate me and give me support and confidence." Last time I went to see a counselor she told me to leave. But, my son loves his step sister and brother and so I want to stay. Well, sorry for the soap opera. I think when I start making more money I will get food and tires for my car, etc. but I will hide some food and snacks and siphon it into the general population here. That way they don't get snorted up by certain people. LOL. (And yes, I am putting an emergency fund away. But this is why I wish there was more transcription out there!) Thanks for your kind words and support. Between you and the doc today, it makes me feel I am not alone! :)
I kind of like this.
![](http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:vnIUDcPN5K6MHM:http://www.lvpcchurch.org/lvpc/files/u1/cross1_1_.jpg")
I have tried nearly every kind
of mascara known to woman. My favorite BY FAR is the Loreal Voluminous waterproof. It's so silky, non-clumping, etc. Just perfect. So I guess now it's time for them to discontinue it - LOL! That's what happened after I found my perfect foundation -- Maybelline's Wonder Finish.
Yup, have 2 teens and it is kind....
of interesting as one does not have "all the time in the world for that anymore." We have got to get when we can. But also he works nights and obviously sleeps some during the day. Maybe that is what has kept the fire going all these years. LOL
With that kind of money,
she could have easily afforded to pay you back without filing on the insurance. She should have offered to have paid you half back at least. I think that would have settled it.
Don't take your parents not choosing sides personally. They are probably trying to not make the situation worse than it already is. They are probably hoping you two will work this out somehow. Them getting involved will only make it worse.
Besides everything she has done, losing your family is just not worth it. I hope that you can find a way to work this out. My brother passed away and my sister is missing. I would give ANYTHING to have them back.
you are very kind; thanks for your time.
x
What kind of shakes do you use?
Some of them are just nasty ... any tips on ones that taste halfway decent?
What kind of programs?
Sorry to hear you are in the same boat. It's funny because until you feel or have felt that way, it's hard to relate. I truly feel that I have tried everything in my power. Now he wants me to try again and I just don't think I can change the way I feel. We recently went to a Christian marriage counsellor that his mother wanted us to go to and he kept telling me that it is my choice how I feel toward my husband. It isn't. It's like a response to something bad for you I think. Your body tells you to spit out bitter things because they could be poison. Well....I think maybe it's the same type of response! Like, no this isn't good for you, get away from it!
What kind of biopsy
What kind of biopsy did you have and when did you have it? Out here (Virginia) I had a stereotactic biopsy on a Wednesday morning and the results at noon the next day. At the breast clinic here everyone comes in for the results. I liked knowing the very next day, regardless of the outcome. You know - the percentages are actually in your favor ... all the research I've done indicates 80% of biopsies are benign. I had one 4 years ago that was benign. Please let me know how you're doing. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
what kind of vitamins do you take? sm
i had been bying vitamins from wal-mart. then i went to GNC and talk the gal that works there and she recommended GNC brand ultra gold which i do take when i think about it. but their vitamins are so big, they almost gag me, even the smell gags me. supposed to take two a day. they are loaded with stuff. just wondered what ya'll take.
ps: can't tell a difference in my energy level when i take GNC vitamins.
It's not your normal kind of tea..sm
and one cup, I don't think, will make one P three to four times during the night, but whatever works for you.
That's kind of on the high end where I am at. Do
you live in an area with a higher cost of living?
That's awesome you've found someone you are happy with though. I'm still searching! :)
And I don't mean the Geiko kind either.
s
Oh my! What kind of *drugs*?
Interesting story.
what kind of camera?
.
She kind of reminds me of
That african/american girl on New Adventures of Old Christine only heavier. I thought it was her at first. I bet if you look up on Soap City you'll find out.
I wonder what kind of a home
these girls came from. Perhaps they saw abuse or were abused themselves and have become immune to suffering. I do not condone what they did, but they did not grow up in a vacuum. It would be interesting to know their family background/upbringing.
LOL. I have that kind of hair too!!
Mine is longer layers and I have a LOT of it and it gets coarse sometimes after highlighting. So you should see me when I wake up in the morning sometimes. It is sticking up and out a good few inches on the top and sides! I joke with my husband, don't come too close or I may poke your eye out! LOL So I know exactly what you mean about not being able to just run out for something some days. Or God forbid, what about unexpected company or UPS or FedEx? LOL
I was kind of thinking
that too, but don't know how to make it!
first, what kind of pain do you have?
nm
What kind of music is on your
Mine is a mixture of 60s, 70s, 80s, and everything in between. I have Van Halen, Elton John, Fergie, George Jones...just to name a few. My kids listen to it and can't understand the combination, but it's just music I like. So, what's on yours? I'm looking for some suggestions to add to my collection...
That would kind of seem like using those people
Since you don't really know them all that well and your husband rarely talks to them, it kind of seems like using them to get out of paying for a hotel room. If you mention to them that you will be in the area and they actually offer you a place to stay at their home, then that would be completely different, but to call and flat out ask to stay is just plain rude. Besides, I would feel really uncomfortable staying in someone's home who I barely know. I would much rather pay for a hotel.
As kind of the new kid in town....
and a very rural town at that, I introduced myself to all my neighbors in walking distance and let them know who I was, gave them my phone number if they ever needed anything, and let them know I was gonna be bringing in some stinky animals and told them I would be doing my best to ensure they wouldn't stink up their joints. I couldn't believe how welcoming everyone was! People were genuinely happy to have farm-y neighbors and admitted they were worried when they heard we were "from away," as they thought we'd be tearing down the little house we bought to put up a McMansion or something. Neighbors even came by with carrots for the animals and asked if their kids could pat the horses and stuff. One family even invites us to their home for Thanksgiving every year because they know we don't have any family nearby and really can't leave the animals for any length of time. They give us hugs and welcome us into their home like we are their family. I can't describe the feeling--it's just awesome.
Now, when we lived in a condo in the city--out of about 100 buildings we knew maybe 3 of our neighbors. Imagine, packed in like sardines and we never talked to anyone. Rush rush rush, keep your head low and don't make eye contact. Darndest thing....of course hardly anyone spoke English as a first language there, but it was still weird to check your mail and have a bunch of people nearby and no one spoke--very icy. I'm so glad I reverted to bumpkin-like livin'.
That's kind of ignorant
That just shows that he really doesn't care all that much about how you feel or what you want. He seems to think that it's all about him. I would be furious if my husband pulled that kind of stuff! Mine is very good about that sort of thing, and he always asks or suggests and doesn't just say "this is what we're doing." I would be especially annoyed if he was planning a vacation with someone that I didn't even know!
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