I just got back from buying a sympathy card for my brother's MIL, glad I did now. nm
Posted By: Confetti on 2009-01-02
In Reply to: How important is it to you to receive a sympathy card - unloved
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IMO a card would not be out of order at all. Except a sympathy card, of course.
I totally agree a sympathy card wouldn't quite be the thing, but it sounded to me that the original poster of that idea didn't mean a sympathy card like one for death. I think sympathy in the sense of "hey, you had a rough time of it with this birth, and maybe things haven't been the way you imagined, but know that I'm thinking of you and I'm here if and when you need me."
I got PPD when my breastfeeding relationship didn't go right, following a birth plan that went seriously awry, and the reality of a fussy, picky baby instead of the happy, sleeping one that I had imagined.
I *did* spend a lot of time on the phone, but then everybody's different. I would have loved to get a cheerful card from a friend, however. Does anybody NOT like a card?
not a sympathy card...
Just a congrats on your new baby and friendship, etc... No, sympathy on behalf of the baby would be totally out of order. The baby is fine except for a common foot deformity. It is correctable. No she needs a pick me up card. Something to brighten her day.
Need help on what to write on sympathy card for baby SM
My friends just lost a baby to SIDS. The funeral is tomorrow. Unfortunately I can't make it, but I'm sending a sympathy plant/flowers. I'm at a total loss for words. What should I write on the card? Appreciate any input.
I was just saying I think it would be out of line also to send her a sympathy card...
I AM leaving her alone. I am just asking for other insight since I don't understand this. Like have other people done this. I am not pushy. If I were pushy I would keep calling and asking to speak with her or go over. I am respecting her wishes. I haven't been over because she said she doesn't want anyone over. How am I pushy?
How important is it to you to receive a sympathy card
How important is it for you to receive a sympathy card? I know this has been quite a long time now (3 years), but still bothers me. My mom died 3 years ago and I received only 3 cards. One from my DH's aunt & uncle and my best friend sent me 2 cards. Nobody else sent me a card. My MIL, BIL (3 of them - all married), SIL, co-workers (8 of them), people in my quilting guild that I've been quilting with for years and years. None of them. I went back for the funeral and listed to my sister and aunt tell each other about how many cards they got and how much they were loved by their friends (they made it into a joke as to who was more loved by who got more cards :-) My sister got about 18 or 20 cards and my aunt got about 30. They said they were sure when I got back I'd have many cards waiting for me (I flew back 2 days after hearing of my moms death). My sister even offered me some of her cards. I came home and had just the 3 cards. My best friend also send me some "cheering up gifts". But still nothing from anyone. I never said anything to DH but it bothered and still does bother me that people thought so little of me than to send me a card letting me know they were thinking about me. The worst thing was that I always sent them birthday, anniversary, and sympathy cards to them. I even would send them sympathy cards when their pets died.
Well I'm over it, but every once in awhile I think about it and it just saddens me. So now I don't send any of them any cards for anything. Just wondered if it bothers other people like it did me.
Welcome back card to Hilton
Dear Hilton:
We are so happy to have you back. We heard about your rash. We think this poem will help. Post it above your cell toilet:
If you're here to have a sit -
stand on the seat.
The crabs at Lynwood Jail
can jump ... three feet!
best cash-back credit card?
We've been using the GM card to get new cars for less, but i'm open to a different card that rewards general purchases, food, gas, apparel etc, with cash back. Any recommendations? thanks!
DH paid off credit card. Now I'm paying him back. No
nm
They do multiply don't they?! Brought back memories when my oldest brother
bought 2 white mice at the pet shop and the guy told him they were both males...about 2-3 weeks later we had a full liter of white mice. Mom made him take the whole cage with mice back to the pet shop (I wonder why? LOL).
Glad she got it back. Nm
:-)
I'm so glad they believed you and took it back! NM
.
Glad she got her jacket back.
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I'm so glad they let her back in school!
Your poor daughter! I hope they don't change the rules on pepper spray. I think students should have a right to carry that to protect themselves! I don't see it as a weapon. It's not like a gun or a knife that could kill someone - it's just for self-defense, which teenage girls need, unfortunately. Good job fighting for your daughter and sticking up for her!
As far as the people who made the rude, ignorant comments to you, I don't think people like that even read entire posts, and if they do they don't comprehend them! It seems like some people just pick one thing out of a post and try to say you're wrong when it's obvious they don't even know what they're talking about. So annoying! Whoever said the rude things is probably someone who is lonely and ran out of real-life people to pick on (who would put up with them for long?), so they must try to irritate people online, so try not to let them bother you too much (even though it would probably bother me too if it was my post!)
All right, Cyndiee, glad that you are back.
But what can I say?
I hate drugs and medicaments and stay away from them as long as I can, maybe therefore I am so healthy and because I have good genes.
I admit there are diseases which necessitate medicaments, but there are also people who just swallow everything that comes into their hands, without questioning it. The doctors encourage them in doing so.
Sometimes I type reports (mostly AVR) where the doctors prescribe up to OVER 10 medicaments to a patient, this is just uncomprehendable to me when I think of all the possible side effects, interactions and the effect on the liver and kidneys, etc...I feel sick to my stomach. Can this really be good, in any way?
Generally I do not trust doctors much. They are all more or less quick-fixer, because that is actually what the patient expects from them, a 'quickfix'.
But if medicaments which offer a quickfix in the short run and feel good at the moment, are also good in the long run, is very questionable.
Doctors are here to prescribe medicaments and they are encouraged to do so by the pharmaceutical companies. The first to take drugs which are new to the market and released by the FDA for 'studies', are always the guinea pigs, we have seen this with HRT, antidepressants, especially Prozac etc...
I am fiercely anti-medicaments, as already said, the only medicament I trust is aspirin and I take also supplements, I believe in those.
Patients should ask the doctor when they get a medicament prescribed, 'Doctor, do I reallyy need this?'
I have great respect for surgeons, dentist and gynecologists who deliver babies, not so much for other things, like prescribing hormones and advice on menopause etc....
there is still a lot of 'guessing' and 'experimenting' going on.
Glad to see you back, Jan.
Glad you're back, even if a bit damaged! ;) nm
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UUHHH, glad you are back Hayseed? LOL
you really have been missed!
U, ttoo, am glad to see you back,. I always wondered
that they sent you home with fever and so much pain.
Never hesitate to go to the ER when you are in severe pain and have fever.
Better safe than sorry.
Especially if one THINKS having a heart attack or stroke.
Because here 'time is of the essence.'
U, ttoo, am glad to see you back,. I always wondered
that they sent you home with fever and so much pain.
Never hesitate to go to the ER when you are in severe pain and have fever.
Better safe than sorry.
Especially if one THINKS having a heart attack or stroke.
Because here 'time is of the essence.'
That brings back unpleasant memories. Glad that's over with. nm
nm
Hi, Ella! Glad to see you back, witty, as usual.....nm
nm
Have U renogiated credit card debt when minimum payment got too high? Do they take your card away,
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Credit Card Reform Can Cost Good Card Users
Part of article:
Credit cards have long been a very good deal for people who pay their bills on time and in full. Even as card companies imposed punitive fees and penalties on those late with their payments, the best customers racked up cash-back rewards, frequent-flier miles and other perks in recent years.
Now Congress is moving to limit the penalties on riskier borrowers, who have become a prime source of billions of dollars in fee revenue for the industry. And to make up for lost income, the card companies are going after those people with sterling credit.
We pay off our balance every month. If they do this (punish those who have sterling credit) Ridiculous!! I'll stop using my CC and pay by cash or check.
So much for reform.
I have a great brother like that too! I love my Big Brother!
Enjoy the love!
I have an older brother and younger brother
and I was a terrible handful, especially during high school compared to my brothers.
No sympathy here.
I was taken advantage of by a family member when I was very young. I blocked it out for years -- almost lost my marriage because of it. When the flashbacks came I thought I was losing my mind. I feel no sympathy for anyone who does this to a child. Speaking from the otherside of it -- you may move on, but it stays with you forever. It is a club I would rather not be a part of.
No sympathy--sm
I have read the message from the poster below reminding us that the abusers are someones child, as well. That someone loves them too. Well, love them, yes. Condone what they did. NO.
It is just my opinion that these types of people CANNOT be *rehabilitated*. It is as much within them as homosexuality is within a homeosexual person. It is not something that is *learned*. It is bred within them and cannot be *cured*.
I was, and I will use the term that was inflicted on me, RAPED...40 years ago. It is still within me. Yes. I have *moved on* and do not think about it or dwell on it...but the after effects just never go away. It has affected every male/female relationship and some friendships that I have ever been involved in. I have given up on trying to have a relationship with anyone, as my psyche will just end up ruining it. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to ever hurt anyone else again. The person who inflicted himself on me has nothing to bear within his soul. He will never know the kind of pain he has inflicted upon others. He just gets his *satisfaction* and moves onto the next one..until he is caught. But even then, his *sentence* can never come anywhere close to what he has done to his victim. Ever.
so. no sympathy here. That one *event* changed my life forever, but not his.
Don’t need sympathy from you or anyone here
I said rudeness, saying a person not smart enough to ask something- this is, like I said, a forum. People can and do ask a lot of different things here- not that you have to fricking use the advice! Not that you take the advice always! But, people sometimes have similar things happen in their lives. That is what I am saying. No sense in people being suck jerks!
You have all my sympathy ! Been there, done that. nm
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no sympathy, as long as they are
rightly convicted. I myself have been molested as a child, not severely, not even long-term, but it has had a PROFOUND effect upon my mental/emotional/sexual being. It took flashbacks after almost 30 years to piece it all together and understand the impact upon my life. and NO, i don't think they 'rehabilitate'. I think life in prison is the minimal most of these offenders should do. Death would be better for the more persistent and violent offenders.
Now I will give you my sympathy as you did for me
the other day as my baby Kitty-Kat was dying. I really feel your sorry.
Thanks for the advice and sympathy.
It's not just the pain, but have you also had such trouble procrastinating, or when you get started, cannot keep concentration? Combine all three, and heavens it is hard to get through a day. I am a bit better today compared with yesterday, thank God.
I will be sure to try the flax oil and taurine supplement you suggested, "MT also in NC." Thanks so much.
Not looking for sympathy, in fact
I figure to get the opposite! Doesn't matter! I'm a smoker ... yeah that's right, a dirty low life scum of the earth polluting your air smoker! One of the few little pleasure I have in life. When the price of cigarettes went sky high, we started "rolling our own". It was a lot cheaper, for a while. The price of the tobacco went up, but still much cheaper than cigarettes. Well today, DH was informed at or local tobacco store, that because of a new tax hike, it will go from $9.14 a can to over $20.00 by April 1st? Ok. I'm done, let the stoning begin...
Do you have sympathy for child molesters?
Can they be rehabilitated, or should they serve life sentences?
Many people seem to have such mixed feelings about child molesters, like “Well he’s always been such a nice guy,” (duh, how do you think they convince the kids to trust them?), or “They really can’t help it.”
I personally do not have mixed feelings. I believe they should serve life sentences for the torturing of these children. I believe that 99% (if not all) cannot be rehabilitated, they are child rapists for life. In many states molesters are only charged with a misdemeanor if they fail to register as a child molester. This is unacceptable.
Please write your senators and governor and urge them to fund the ADAM WALSH ACT, which will make failure to register a FELONY and help make consistent and uniform laws for ALL STATES. Most of these rapists are not dumb and take advantage of the vast differences in state laws, hopping from state to state trying to find the most lenient laws.
The link below will take you to oprah.com to download a prewritten letter that can be sent to your representatives and links to their addresses. It took me less than 2 minutes to print all the information out, and it could help change our country.
http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200702/20070221/slide_20070221_284_118.jhtml
It is estimated that 1 out of every 4 girls and 1 out of every 10 boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 18. Over 260,000 children are abducted each year in America. PLEASE DO YOUR PART TO HELP.
I just wanted to send my sympathy your way...
May you find comfort in the Lord.
Sympathy cards are so inadequate sm
Maybe the people who did not give you cards had a difficult time finding something and just didn't get one at all because of that. I spent a great deal of time at the store yesterday looking through cards to give a friend who just lost her 7-year-old son. They all say basically the same thing and none of them say the right thing because there is no card in the world that will bring a loved one back. In the end, I did pick one out to give the family but still feel it is woefully inadequate to express how my heart aches for them and their loss.
Dating sympathy (from married person)
I would hate to go back to dating. I've been married 18 years but I do remember what single life and dating were like.
The majority of them were creeps for one reason or another (especially the one going to law school - I got my first clue when I saw a sticker inside his car - his last name is also an occupation and the sticker said _________ know all the right strokes). (eye roll)
I mentioned in another post that I had moved into an apt. with my boyfriend of about a year, and 3 weeks later, he left me for his ex-wife.
At that point, I swore off of men. I figured I'd just live in the same apartment and go to work at the hospital 5 days a week for the rest of my life. That's when my husband walked into my life.
I had first met him in 1985 when, after graduating high school, I went to work at McDonald's. He was a swing manager, 2 years older and so darned handsome. We dated for quite awhile but it wasn't exclusive. He then joined the navy and got married. Three years later, his ex told him she needed to get a life and filed for divorce.
About 3 months prior to this, I swore off men for good. Then, one day, I was working a Saturday at the hospital (I think it was to make up for the day I missed when I had a diagnostic laparoscopy - yeah, it was stupid going back to work the day after you have surgery). I got a phone call from my mom, asking me if I remembered such and such. My husband's sister had called my parents' house but my mom didn't want to give out info, so she called and gave the info to me. I called his sister and we gabbed. I told her I remembered her and definitely remembered him. She asked me to meet her and her boyfriend at a bar along with my (future) husband. Well, I said "what the heck". I agreed to go.
Now, this is 3 days status post a laparoscopy and they weren't as good about getting the CO2 out back in 1990 as they are today and that day, I had gas so bad, I probably could have filled up my gas tank 3 times over. I spent almost the entire date squeezing my cheeks together (thankfully we weren't dancing or doing other physical things - LOL). I still had a really good time but was relieved when I left his house. I lived about 10 minutes away and I swear, I must have passed gas the entire ride home.
He knows all about it now. Heck, I can't remember the last time I even closed the door to the bathroom. We have no kids and if I do close the door, all 3 pugs sit outside and scratch the door, whine and cry. I gave up. I'm sometimes even "lucky" enough to have one of them on my lap while I'm going.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is love/good relationships seem to come when you least expect them. When I pursued dating or had someone fix me up, or met a guy in a bar or whatever, it never ended well. Nowadays, how do you know if you're supposed to pay half for the date?
Like I said, I feel for you guys. If my husband dropped dead tomorrow, I think I'd remain single the rest of my life.
Good luck to all of you and God bless!
Unless you are buying it yourself, yah, there is.
Maybe he has an heirloom ring that has been in his family for generations. Maybe he just really wants to get something you that is a personal expression of his and his alone. If he's buying it, don't look a gift horse in the mouth! It's not about the ring, it's about the marriage...and marriage is gonna be all about compromise. Congratulations on the engagement!
PS--I had to buy our rings and he got to choose what he wanted and so did I.
buying a used car
What's the general rule of thumb as far as negotiating price? How much should I expect the dealer to come down in price on a used car? I stink at this stuff
Yep, been buying here! sm
Never stopped buying. Great time to buy in if you can. Money to be made in the long run. 
Maybe she was buying food for someone?
If your car is above a certain value, you don't qualify for food stamps.
She may have buying food for someone with their food stamps/food stamp card.
You have to be buying the cheaper
brand because at the QT close to my house, about the cheapest, in Atlanta, the price is $2.40 something for the brand I have to burn.
buying house with BF
Bear with me. I am not judging here as I do not know the circumstances other than you stated you and BF want to buy a house. I am assuming you are young, which to me, anyone under the age of 40 falls into that category! If and when buying a house comes to be, consider hiring an attorney to protect your interest, and your BF should do the same. Buying a home with a BF/GF is VERY scary. Will both names be on the mortgage? If so, what if one dies, becomes disabled, flees to Tibet to do lunch with the Dali Lama? The other is left holding the bag with all the financial responsibilities. The same things can happen if you're married too, but it's harder to legally resolve such issues if you are not married.
I don't mean to rain on your parade here! Just want you to think. Buying a house is so exciting but it's the biggest financial commitment you will ever make. You don't want it to come back and bite you in the butt years down the road.
To save, keep only one credit card and pay it off each month. That saying 'pay yourself first' is tried and true. Open an account and have 5-10% of every paycheck auto-deposited in it. If you don't have it, you won't miss it. Open short-term CDs with your savings. They are risk-free, you can access your money if you truly need it, and you'll get more interest than a savings acct. Do your research, stay away from adjustable rate mortgages,and buy beneath your means. Think of every worst case scenario you can and talk them over with your BF BEFORE you buy. This is your financial future you are about to change. You will be committed to a house/mortgage, but not to each other - legally.
OK - my doom and gloom post is done! Regardless, all the best to you!
buying a house
Wow, this is great info as I am buying a house too. I am wondering about one point though - my realtor did recommend an inspector that I set up an appointment with - is it absolutely necessary to find my own inspector?
buying home
Thanks AnnieM! You gave some great advice and some things to think about that I hadn't thought of.
I would tell her that I was offended and was buying elsewhere (sm)
I have learned over the years to stop wishing in hindsight that I had said what I should say to begin with. She is being rude and thinking you will pay her asking price just to prove to her that you can afford it. She is banking on you being offended and trying to prove to her that you can indeed afford it. That is a sales tactic I have seen used before - don't bite the bait!
I'm with you. I can't believe they are buying her story. nm
d
Don't think people are buying it!
I have an ex-brother-in-law who is a compulsive liar and whereas we don't call him on the lies, they are a joke to us and we laugh about it later. So to the liars out there, don't think we're that gullible!
Need to know about cheese buying
I do not buy cheese but have 2 people on my list for presents this year that I would love to get some crackers and cheeses for. Do most cheese need refrigeration? I would think some would last longer than others, right? I can make this a 1 stop shop at Trader's Joe so need some ideas, anyone?
renting vs buying
Hi,
After I divorced some years ago, having had my own home at that time, and then having to live in an apartment, I recently opted to purchase my own home. You must weigh the pros and cons of your situation, particularly having children. I hated apt. living!!! You must consider that there will not be much room for your children to play. If they play outside, they will no doubt disturb other renters and consequently have complaints. No matter how good the apartment complex is built, it will always be noisy, no matter what. Being in this business, quiet is imperative and something I never found in an apartment. There is always someone or something to disturb you. You also have no privacy. I lived on a first floor apt. and someone was constantly walking past my bedroom window and patio doors. They cannot help but "peek" in and I hated that as well. I love bright sunshine and fresh air and refused to keep my blinds pulled. I did not feel that I should have to. Also, being a nonsmoker, I found it difficult to deal with those that did, what with their left over smoke drifting into my apt. on a constant day/night basis. I had a "nice" apt. with all the appliances, including washer/dryer, dishwasher, etc, plus a garage. It was nice, but after being aggravated by the 3 in the morning parties going on every weekend and sometimes during the week, and the managers not doing their jobs of shoveling snow, salting walkways, or mowing the grass and picking up other peoples cigarette butts, I opted to buy my own condo. I went with a condo because they do take care of the outside. the inside is your responsibility. yes, you have to replace things if they break or repair them, but to me the cost is minimal compared to the aggravation of living in an apartment. a down payment helps your bottom line, and of course, there are the closing costs, but you also have to consider that you get to deduct your property taxes from you 1040 at the end of the year. Each option has its pros and cons, but with children, i would definately opt for purchase rather than rent. but that's just me. these are just some things to think about. good luck.
Does anybody know anything about buying a house from a tax auction? SM
I live in a small town and in our local paper there are always public listings of properties that are going to be sold on the courthouse steps in an auction because of foreclosures or failure to pay taxes, etc. I'm kind of interested in learning about this process because a cute older home I've had my eye on for a while is going to be sold this way in a couple of weeks and I am in a position to maybe buy it because I FINALLY settled with my insurance company over my house fire. So I have a nice little chunk of money (not a huge amount, but enough to buy a decent home for me and my kids). My ex-husband severely damaged my credit and so this may be the only way I can buy another house, besides I'd rather not use the money as a down payment on a big, huge fancy house I'll probably struggle to make payments on. I'd rather just buy a nice little three bedroom that is comfortable and affordable and allows me a little wiggle room with my finances. I'm living with family now and don't even get me started on how stressful that is!
So I was wondering if any my virtual colleagues and friends here at MTStars had any experience or knowledge of how this whole foreclosure/tax auction process works? Will there be an auctioneer and I will have to bid like at a regular auction? And usually how much do houses go for when sold this way? Do they go for the amount of taxes owed or how much the house is worth? The public notice from the county says the buyer has to put 10% down and pay the remaining balance in 30 days. So I'm trying to get an idea of whether I will have enough to pay cash the day of or if I will still need to get a small mortgage loan.
Any suggestions? I'm really dumb when it comes to stuff like this. I've never really had a head for business, but since leaving my ex, I've vowed to learn and be savvy and take control of my finances. And this would be a big first step towards that.
Thanks!
Home buying grants.
Anyone know of some programs to apply for first time home buying grants? :-)
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