I hear you- I had a friend dying of AIDS
Posted By: Fellow human on 2007-06-16
In Reply to: I confess... - Whistle While You Work
that I lived with and helped take care of so he could die at home. There were times it was so stressful and uncertain that I would sometimes wish he would just die already. I felt like the worst person in the world for feeling that way but now I realize I am only human and I did the best I could.
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I have a friend who called me to say her 34 year old son dying
this past week. I was shocked but this is a kid who has never hardly worked, looked to his mother for most things- she is on retirement and sucks the life from her. He is in ICU with cirrhosis, liver and kidney failure, started on dialysis yesterday. He has sat at home, not working, something wrong with all the jobs, but now he did have a girlfriend who worked part-time. My friend tells me he sat on the couch just drinking until he could not get up but continued just drinking, not eating, everything tasted like cardboard, he said. Well you know who was taking him the beer, right? The mother of course. Last Thursday my size 4 girlfriend had to carry her son (who was 60 something lbs) out to her car and rushed him to hospital, he stopped breathing, been on vent since. This is a mother who does the above, gives all she can and runs herself out to help her boys (34 and 34) but she thinks she helps. She has almost helped him into his grave - oh he is still very, very ill and may not make it. BTW, the girlfriend is now at the hospital begging for gas money to go back and forth to see the boyfriend and yet the mother has no real income of her own. She feels like she is an excellent mother also. Really sad to see this and so irritating at the same time as she really does not get it, the damage she is doing (has done).
and hearing aids
a woman that my daughter works with forgot to put her hearing aids up in their case when she went to bed one night - and her dog chewed one of them up during the night. fortunately, my daughter wears hearing aids and gave the woman one of her old ones (she's on her third set and now has a set that is digital). Her older one worked perfectly - glad that headsets are not the price of hearing aids - or none of us could afford to work (1200-5000 a set)
Explaining AIDS
AIDS is a disease that is spread by blood contact. The particular act that male homosexuals frequently engage in makes them very susceptible to exchanging blood fluids with each other. The promiscuity issue increases the rate of spread exponentially.
There are plenty of other sexually and blood products transmitted diseases out there besides AIDS, and AIDS also is spread in the heterosexual communities too, along with all the other STDs.
That all being said, people with AIDS are still, 25 years after the discovery of AIDS primarily in the gay community, far more likely to be gay males than straight anything.
As far as I know, non-IV-drug-using lesbians still are in one of the lowest risk categories for AIDS. Kinda blows part of that theory while still proving the other part of the theory, doesn't it?
some of us remember Reagan's ideas on AIDS too
Yep, hated Reagan, arms for contras....Oliver North scandal!! Nancy was the president anyway!!! I liked her far better than Ronald!
There are groups that have protested at people who have died of AIDS but
I really do not know if same group or not. One person's name who comes to mind is Ryan White, the young kid who contracted AIDS through blood transfusion as small infant. What an horrific thing for a family to have to go thru, first a diagnosis like this to have a loved one die and then for people to say they deserved it? This world is really not right. I think it is only getting worse.
What if he's dying right now?
Something more TERRIBLE is happening tonight. That poor dog may be bleeding to death internally or already dead and because you're a coward to tell them or even make an anonymous phone call and you ASSUME the police wouldn't help. They absolutely WOUD go to the address and tell them if you made an anonymous call, if you don't have the nerve to face up to it. This is 2007. People have a clue about animals. Well, most of us do....
It does not matter people whose fault it was to that dog. It does not help him to exchange blame. If you have to play those human games, then do it later, after he's helped. If he doesn't have tire marks on him, how are the owners even supposed to know if he's hurt? It's not like they can talk, you know.
This make me sick. I work rescue. I see and hear worse every day, but it just eats at my soul to know somebody is sitting there "feeling horrible" and "doing nothing" to help God's creature.
dying
I think it is a normal phase kids go through. My 5-year-old started talking about death last year. When I watch medical shows on TV she is very interested (which is great), but it also scares her. She is afraid of heart disease now because of a show I was watching. I try to explain it to her also, but she is still stuck on the whole dying/death issue. I really don't know what to say, other than keep talking about it and hopefully he will become more comfortable with it.
what do you say to someone who is dying
A life long family friend has cancer and chose not to take treatment. She is in her upper 80s. She has other ailments and was once very active but now all she can do is stay in bed and hurt which is why she chose to let nature take its course. The doctors only gave her 3 weeks to live. She lives with her son, he never married and is in denial.
This woman lived next door to my grandparents and I used to love to go over there when I was little. She had a little dog that I could play with. She had a piano that she would let me play on. She had tons of jewelry and I loved to go over there and play dress up. She has been good to my mom. Mom lost her house and she gave mom a place to live which is a trailer house next door. To me that was a big thing as she always kept her stuff neat and nice and picture perfect and mom, Gosh I love her, is a slob.
I am thankful for this woman and she will hold a very special place in my heart but I really don't know what to say. I don't want to be unrealistic but I don't think that talking like she is dying would be right either. I don't know what to say if that topic gets brought up.
I wish I just new someone who sewed :)) Seems like a dying art
and what a shame! I don't know how many times I have said in the last 20 years... 'if only I knew someone who could sew!' I can do buttons and great at hemming tape and have sewn in the past but way too frustrating for me!! Good for you!!
My grandmother is dying also
She and I are not exactly close, we live across the country from each other and always have. She was never very nice to my mother so I had a hard time getting close to her. My brother and I are the only family she has left and of the 2 or us I am the only one that keeps in constant contact with her.
When I do talk to her I reminisce. Not about our times together but about when she was younger. She loves to talk about herself.
If this woman feels like talking do that. Or maybe she just feels like listening and you could tell her how much you enjoyed playing her piano and playing with her jewelry. Just let her know she made a difference in your life. You don't have to outright talk about missing her, but I know she will get the message and I am sure it will bring her some comfort.
Agreed! Hear, hear...amen, sister!
x
Thanks for the posts on my furkid dying
I posted on the 11th and my little girl, oh she went by several names, Kitty-Kitty, baby, sweet lamb and my little girl, but actually her name was Emerald, died at my home the next day, Saturday 1/12/2008. She was born at my home 18 years ago and how I loved her. She had some ID keys that she wore on a collar and everytime I would go to the powder room or the kitchen, she would always come in, when I returned home here she came with the little keys sounding off. Now the quiet is almost deafening in my home. I have 2 other furkids (cats, both males) my husband gave to me, knowing Kitty-Kitty was older and when she died the others would sorta soften the blow. Nah, I love them but she was my baby. My daughter claimed her but "let" me have Emerald when daughter married because she knew my heart would break if she moved her. I went to the vet the day before Emerald died and asked if I thought she was in pain, was there anything I could give her - he told me a baby aspirin every 3 days and also if she were not sleeping, could give children's benadryl to help her rest. I never felt she was in pain and I held her Saturday morning for about 4 1/2 hrs telling her I loved her and she could go, knew she was sick and had been for several weeks really bad. I made her comfortable, covering her with a light blanket on a pillow and she died later on that afternoon. I dug a grave for her in my yard so she would never have to really leave her home. I will always treasure her love and the joy she gave us. What a wonderful girl and she was just my little girl.
my freezer/fridge is dying
Like an idio t, i thought it was my imagination that stuff wasn't getting cold enough or frozen hard enough in my fridge/freezer so i haven't said anything to the manager of our townhous complex. around Wedesday I noticed my cool whip wasn't frozen. Now my "frozen" fish sticks are softer and easy to break. Are they safe to eat? what happens if a "keep frozen" food gets thawed out? Is it still safe to eat?? The office isn't open until Monday and he probably won't get here until Monday afternoon at the earliest so what do I do with all my food in the meantime??
I have to disagree. Marriage is not a dying
tradition. My parents just celebrated their 63rd anniversary. My husband and I celebrated our 30th anniversary this past June, so no, marriage is not a dying tradition.
I'm more afraid of dying before I have a CHANCE to get old. nm
x
Sometimes, though, it helps the person dying to know sm
you have accepted it and they can go on. My dad held on until my mom said I'll be okay without you, I know you cannot go on any longer. He died within the next few hours of my mom saying that to him. We, too were in denial, and I believe that is why he hung on so long. Tell her what an impact she had on your life and how much she has meant to you and you will love her forever. Is she right with Christ? Does she believe she is going to heaven? In my grief class after my dad died, sometimes you don't have to say anything, just a "meeting of the hearts." Just go over there and see her and let whatever happens happens. Let your heart lead you.
It's the images of dying people that get to me.. you must be out of the loop
nm
My heart is heavy -I think my older cat is dying
It is hard to type or even see when your eyes are brimming with tears. I have had this girl since her mother first showed up at my door pregnant with her about 17 years ago. She is a purr girl and she has been sick, had a stroke which she recovered from but now a couple of months later feel like she is living on borrowed time. Not in pain but seems to be sorta stuporous, will respond when I call her name by looking at me. I have hand fed her water (ice water which she likes) and also she took very little in in the way of food. I called my daughter to see if she wanted to come by tonight after she gets off from work and she said absolutely. I hated to tell her at work but so afraid this ole girl is not going to make it much longer. She has trouble getting around so I am her legs now. If she needs to go to the bathroom, I will take her there also. I have her laying on 1 of my fav sweaters now in my work room, held her lots last night and today also. My heart hurts.
My oldest furgirl is dying and I am crying
I have just called the veterinarian's office to see if there was anything they could give me to ease her pain, should she be in any which I do not think is the case. I have had her since she was born at my home so it is almost unbearable today. The vet had told me about a week or so ago that her organs were probably failing due to some lab tests she had. I gave her some water with a syringe and even tried feeding her some this morning as I do not want her to be hungry nor thirsty. She is laying on a blanket and I have a cover on her. Besides my having her put down which is really hurting my heart- she has been with me all these years- is there anything I can give her so she is not having a painful death and I just don’t know about it. Thanks everyone.
dying tradition would refer to the new generation
x
a friend's b/friend died last year, drank, took vicodin...
Thanks. I think mine is slowly dying. It sometimes gets a reddish tint all over it and I think the
refresh or whatever it does through the different colors isnt working right. I do shut it off when I am not working but I am usually working except at night. I paid a decent amount for this so thought I would get at least 3 years out of it.
Guess talking with dying aunt over daughter just shouldn’t happen
Yes I did say disconnect (have thought about that for some time just due to the excessive amount spent on land phone though and daughter suggested disconnecting also to save $$$) the fuss was the fact about others assumming something. I took what I considered to be the more important of the 2 calls- basically I talk with the daughter every week several times and the aunt - well what would most do?
Dying girl denied more time with imprisoned father - please sign the petition (sm)
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Have-Mercy-on-Jayci
This child is 10 years old - this is national news, not a hoax of any kind. This child was healthy six months ago and now has very limited time to live. Her father is imprisoned and her dying wish is to spend more time with him - which is being denied. Please go to the above website and sign the petition asking the Nebraska prison system to honor her request.
Do You Hear What I Hear and Little Drummer Boy
I love the holiday!
Hear, hear! I'm with you too, same boat. -nm
nm
Did not hear about the porn but did hear
there might be a conflict about her babies going home with her when they were able to be dismissed. You can hardly blame anyone for questioning how she will take care of them. From what I have seen, she hardly seems stable enough to do that.
I hear ya........
nm
Look - I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but
I speak from experience - and many advice experts will say the same thing - if a man is interested in you, he will ask YOU out. Just like if you go out with a man and at the end of the night you ask him to come into your home, and he doesn't - then he's not that into it. It doesn't matter what he has going on in his life, men make time for women they are interested in! They are never that busy that they cannot call you - that's just a lie. They make the time to talk for one minute because THEY ARE INTO YOU!! If you have to ask a man out, think about it - what was wrong with him?? WHy couldn't he approach you? He knows how to open his mouth and say "hey, I don't know if you're single or seeing someone, but I was wondering if you .... "
Don't ask him out. Let him pursue you. It's old fashioned, but hey, it still holds true.
I am so sorry to hear that. It does cause
actual physical pain to lose a special pet. I have wished I could cut my heart out to end it, or be PTS alongside my poor dog. What a shock to lose such a young cat. I am sorry.
sorry to hear that, don't know what to say...sm
Sorry to hear this happened to you, don't know what to say, but this has never happened to me, and both my CPA and the other person, a corporate estate tax person, say that I'm legal and nobody has come after me or notified me that I am in the wrong....
I hear what you are saying
Personally, the wrinkles start showing in my face if I am too thin. I need a little weight on my to look good...unfortunately, it is all on my hips and glutes...LOL
You are what you eat, so I hear
and if a person wants to be a supersized so be it. Got off Cokes on my own after marrying my hubby, used to drink loads of those and I never feel like I am not living by the way I eat because I also love sweets and if I want I have them. I just don't care for any of my foods supersized, be it a drink or a hamburger, just too much to consume for me and the amount of calories you get plus the fact of it just not being that healthy for you. I would put my delicious food up against any fast (fat) food place any ole day. I just like taste with my food.
So sorry to hear that....
Our cat is getting older now, and I hope she lives forever, but.... I'm so sorry for your loss! It is truly a loss to lose a much-loved pet! Take care... my thoughts are with you today.... 
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this.
But with her compression fractures, and probably the COPD also, there was no way the MDs could have coded her. Her bones (and probably lungs) wouldn't take it. At least that's what they told my grandfather about my grandmother when she had leukemia. He found out the doctors made her DNR without talking to him, and he found out after she passed away.
Now hear this.....
Just called the courts and on my way there now to swear out warrant for arrest of the person writing the bad check. Talk with you later.
I hear ya
This situation sounds a little iffy to me, too. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck....
Sorry to hear this
about your new tile floors honey bear. That is too bad. It is very frustrating!
I want to hear...
.. the end of this story.. The AUDACITY is appalling...
I hear ya
I feel the same way - I'm not really close to anybody outside of my husband/children/parents (which is my choice) and this was kind of a big step for me to hang out with an old friend which is why it is so disappointing. I have huge trust issues with friends and this is just another instance where I kinda feel like I'm getting shafted.
I also don't feel comfortable taking my children around a new boyfriend (they have known each other a couple of weeks) who I don't know anything about.
Thank you for replying and I'm very sure you are not repulsive! Like you said, a lot of people are just so selfish nowadays and those of us who actually consider others feelings before doing things are the ones who get hurt.
Sorry to hear that
hope you are able to work things out.
I am curious to know the name of the restaurant that you wanted to visit.
I hear you!
I seem to have more and more of those days as I grow older lately. Good thing the caffeine doesn't affect my sleep, though.
If I hear same one over and over, that will do
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm sorry to hear about your FIL.
Maybe this article will be helpful.
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/534592
Sorry to hear about Arf . . .
I've visited your web site before (very cool site, BTW!) and all of your animals look so happy there. Arf is a beautiful cat, and it's good to know he's got a mom like you to love him, especially right now. Hope this transition is smooth and painless for both of you. 
Sorry to hear about your cat
You are right about them wanting to go away and die, though. My cat, who was mostly and indoor cat, would go outside for years and never step foot near the road. Always stayed in the yard and "hunted". Once she got sick, she started acting strange and one day, meowed at the door to go out and went straight into the road and got hit by a car. It was almost like she wanted it to end quickly...
It's hard to lose a pet - hugs to you!
I hear you
I, too, have an evidence picture! Mine is concrete steps, 5, tiny porch, my son sitting on the absolute very edge of the porch! This was my older son, the favorite. She never did like my younger son (he was a boy, you know, not the girl she wanted). To this day, he refers to her as the Evil __itch - she has been dead for 13 years. Needless to say, evil people are not missed.
I hear ya!
I wonder how I functioned without my medication...I would not remember anything that I had typed. Now if I have a dictator who redictates a note and it is basically the same...I am able to recognize it whereas before I would have just typed it and not known the difference. The med wears off by late afternoon and I am pretty well ready for bed but have ruminating thoughts swirling about and I take a medication to help me sleep.
sorry to hear that he won't
compromise.. I am glad to hear he at least respects your daughter's wishes and not smoke around the grandkids... It is awesome that she stands her ground and won't bring them if he does...I wish he could see that you cannot tolerate it and that is enough motivation for me at least not to harm my spouse...Dunno...Good luck with the air purifier...Maybe get one for every room...RUN THEM ON HIGH!
The more I hear about those, the more I want one.
nm
Hi, I am sorry to hear you are going through this!
as soon as I finish typing this. I have a 4 and a 5 year old. I have gotten to the place where if they start screaming and crying, I tell them that they can do that all they want in their room, but I don't want to hear it. So, they get sent to their room, and as soon as they are ready to stop, they can come out. Don't give in. Consistency is the biggest factor. I can't believe you said you spanked him, you are going to get mega flamed now. So, let's not broach that subject. :) Do not reward him for bad behavior. Do not lose your patience. I have found when I am nice and respond positively, they in return respond better too. I don't feel like going the extra mile sometimes and I usually don't, but I am continually amazed every time I do, why don't I do it this way all the time? Don't threaten him with things that aren't going to happen. (im taking all your christmas presents back!) That is childish and you don't need that on top of what you have already. It is frustrating and difficult, I know. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I can empathize. Talk to him like a big boy. I thought you were going to be a really good big boy today....I was hoping we could go out for lunch to McDonalds, but I can't take you there if you are going to act like this! Delayed rewards, works wonders! Good luck!
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