I have been single again as long as I was married and there is not a day I don't regret leaving s
Posted By: Half and Half on 2008-05-27
In Reply to: Marriage Help - Done
BUT it was still the right thing to do. I have been happier since and I am fine on my own, but it was extremely tough as he didn't pay child support and I could not find a way to make him (not for lack of trying though and a social worker whose job it was to collect his arrears kept telling me no, I didn't really need it!). Financially it was terrible, but the relief of his absence was enormous.
He was critical. He was always rude. My friends would only come to visit when he was on the road. The kids would pick up their messes, but he made more than they ever did, never helped and constantly criticized me for not being a perfect housekeeper like his mom...who didn't work, had a housekeeper and spent her days at the mall shopping. I had more kids than she did, worked always and ended up being too exhausted for him. He is a homophobic homosexual and going out on "mommy and daddy" dates was always humiliating because he spent the evening looking at other men's behinds.
I got out and suffice it to say, at quite a price financially and emotionally. I have not remarried, have only had one relationship in 15 years and feel too damaged to ever try again, but I am FREE from all of that.
My kids were pleased when he left and were all too anxious to help him to leave the house!
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- I have been single again as long as I was married and there is not a day I don't regret leaving s - Half and Half
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I don't regret leaving either...
Been gone since last August and couldn't ask for a better company to work for now. I owe MQ a lot as they did hire me right after I graduated my MT course and I did learn a lot while I was there, but having said that, I haven't looked back once since leaving.
yep, regret marriage. been in it way too long to be unhappy and wasting life. nm
;
I was a SINGLE mother. I was not married at that
time. I DID NOT defraud the government or anybody else. I did what I had to do to feed my children. I'm glad you could make it all by yourself. I couldn't do it. Please stop turning your nose up at people who need help.
Just the once, been single again longer than I was married sm
I married a homophobic homosexual who molested children.
Use a dictionary - single=not married sm
From Merriam-Webster --- does not say "NEVER" married, just "NOT" married
Main Entry:
1sin·gle 
Pronunciation:
ˈsiŋ-gəl
Function:
adjective
Etymology:
Middle English sengle, from Anglo-French, from Latin singulus one only; akin to Latin sem- one — more at same
Date:
14th century
1 a: not married b: of or relating to celibacy2: unaccompanied by others : lone , sole <the single survivor of the disaster>3 a (1): consisting of or having only one part, feature, or portion <single consonants> (2): consisting of one as opposed to or in contrast with many : uniform <a single standard for men and women> (3): consisting of only one in number <holds to a single ideal> b: having but one whorl of petals or ray flowers <a single rose>4 a: consisting of a separate unique whole : individual <every single citizen> b: of, relating to, or involving only one person5 a: frank , honest <a single devotion> b: exclusively attentive <an eye single to the truth>6: unbroken , undivided7: having no equal or like : singular8: designed for the use of one person only <a single room> <a single bed>
At least she is single, not the married woman who took my father for $$$$$$$
talked about p.o'd. After my stepmother died (his wife)younger than me married women moved in for the kill. NO AMOUNT of talking on my point would make him believe they had anything on their mind except he was charming, I suppose. When something like this it is elderly abuse because they are using and trying to get money/property/furniture/cash/cars, etc. This woman made off like a bandit. I had started proceedings to have the courts take over his every day affairs. These 2 are close in age, your father and the woman so, you probably think she is going for the gold but lots of men dont even want to hear anything different. I think it is called stubborn.
How Long Have You Been Married?
My hubby did that after we were married about a year or so. He just liked my stuff, i.e., lotions, body wash, etc...He was my Ken doll; I would "dress him up," fix his unruly, naturally curly hair, buy his shaving cream and cologne, etc...Since we would shower together, he would wash with what I washed with (usually Sun-Ripened Raspberry!) and if I took a shower before him, he would yell and ask where my body wash was. Before we got together, he washed his body with shampoo instead of soap/body wash. Men like to do that for some reason.
However, since that started soon after being married, I didn't think it was worrisome; just cute.
I, personally, wouldn't worry, but I don't know your husband.
I think according to how long you have been married
your husband might be responsible for carrying your insurance further OR if you have been on his insurance and have hepatitis C, you can still get insurance with another because insurance can be portable. A new company should not turn you down because of a preexisting condition. My daughter fits into this category and I first had Cobra on her until she went to work (early 20s) and now she has her own insurance at her job. It can be done.
Mind if I ask how long you'v been married?
just curious
Married long time ago in church. SM
They don't care if you convert. You just have to sign paper stating the children will be brought up Catholic.
The bride and groom must also attend classes before the wedding.
I never heard of any of the other things mentioned. That must be some conservative church.
What is a STRAIT concert? And how do you not know how long you've been married? nm
vb
Do regret any of the following
marriage (or not)
divorce
kids (or not)
I had one 29 years ago and DO NOT REGRET IT AT ALL. SM
Never have had a second thought. Zero guilt. It was the right decision for my life and my family at the time. I am a good citizen now, good job, loving spouse and family. To those of you saying it is wrong under any circumstance - you have no right to judge me; that's between me and my God.
but do you honestly regret...
Having them? That's harsh, IMHO...of course! I'm sorry you don't have a good adult relationship with your children...that's gotta be my worst fear (well, one of them anyway)...God bless
Not all regret their first encounter
I started early at 15 and I don’t regret it, only regretted probably not more with the same guy. I was in 10th and finished school without another encounter but I would disagree with a psychological impact- just does not apply to all.
Only regret was not doing it sooner
Thrilled with the results. I continue to have periods every month, but they are so much more manageable.
I regret mine too
I had horrible teeth, as well, from a young age and went through many procedures to have a better orthodontic benefit. after having gotten the dentures though, I experienced also that they were too big and looked worse than they felt, leaving me looking like Bugs Bunny. I am on my third set of dentures since 1994, and I am still not satisfied with how they look or feel. I rarely wear them when I am at home alone. I have a difficult time eating anything with them and usually eat (at home) without them. I am sure this is causing some digestive problems, as well, but when they hurt to wear them, what can you do? I have thought seriously about implants, but these are so expensive and for those of us with NO insurance, much less very poor dental insurance, I cannot afford those either. Think long and hard about dentures. I understand your plight and dentures may seem like a good option, but they are not always what they are stated to be, either. I hope you find a good solution. I would take my horrible teeth back in a second, to at least be able to eat. good luck to you.
You'll never regret see inside
being home with your children. They will grow and will become more independent, and then you can work you life away on-site. That is the avenue I am currently taking, and boy is it a nice feeling to be home with them. Good luck to you, and I know it is a tough decision. 
I picked out my ring and absolutely regret it!
I really wish I would have had him do it all and we would have just slowed down. I love my husband to pieces, but it would have been nice to have a proposal and a surprise to see my ring for the first time. We kind of just agreed to get married and then went ring shopping together, but now I wish there had been more romance involved. Just let the boy pick it out - If he knows you well enough like he should if you plan on marrying him, then he'll surely pick out something you like.
Regret not running off with my present husband who used to be my
friend. Yes, my friend and my late husbands friend. We started dating after the other died and if I had known what he was like then, would have left the husband and the kids behind. Never have known such happiness in my life. I wasted years and would like to have those over again- life goes too fast to waste time.
I had a similar problem, had the surgery, and only regret
Abdominal surgery is no walk in the park, but it improved my life 1,000% to get rid of all that unnecessary 'equipment'. (Never wanted kids, anyway.) I was only 34 when I had the surgery - wish I could've had it at age 14!
you do the leaving
My ex was the same way. After 17-1/2 years, I did the leaving. I know it is hard, but YOU CAN DO IT!! You and your kids will be better off in the long run. My oldest child wishes I would have left when he and his brother were still little. Don't let him keep abusing you - you are just as valuable as he is - don't forget it. Hope your cold/flu doesn't last too long. Will be thinking of you.
Leaving an ovary or not?
I had one at 35 and kept my ovaries, although now I wish they'd have taken them. Within an hour after surgery, I was up and around and ready to go home and had NO pain afterwards (this was vaginal). I felt better than I had in years and I think every woman who is beyond wanting children should have one. It gives you such a freedom from all the "mess" and such.
He refuses to do that. He says no way is he leaving (sm)
I have tried for so long to hold this marriage together for the sake of the children - but what am I teaching them if I continue to live in this situation? That it is okay for men to treat women badly? That you just let people treat you however they want? That spouses don't have to respect each other?
Any regrets leaving the Q?
They're getting on my last nerve, but there are those that say that being an MT is pretty much the same everywhere. I hope not; I'm tired of having multiple different hospitals during each shift.
re: leaving pets
No I don't leave messages but we've done some camping this summer and my kitty gets very mad when we leave. When we walked in the door after being away for a few days she wouldn't stop meowing at me, like she was telling me off for leaving her..she wouldn't let me pick her up either! Anyone else's pets get mad when you leave?
If you are serious about leaving, you need a plan. SM
First, get some therapy for yourself to gain back some self confidence. Then make a plan. Find out how much a divorce attorney costs and start saving. If you are not being physically abused, try to stay in it as long as kids are young. Then make your escape.
Believe me, you are not the only one going through this. Are there any women's groups in your town you can join? You really need to vent. I know what that's like.
My DH is leaving in just a little bit for Atlanta
He is going on business for the weekend (we are in VA and have about 2in of snow now and more on the way) and he is taking my DD along for a little Father/daughter bonding. We have been following the weather and saw that it is in the 30s today and up to in the 50s tomorrow then back to 30s on Sat. with snow expected. My daughter is going crazy trying to decide what to pack. LOL
Depends if it is long with pregnant pause um no. If it is long and juicy like an op YEP! Short ones
x
If you are leaving for 3 weeks, take them to a kennel and sm
pay for daily care. They need more than food and water, they need attention and loving and daily petting, and exercise. Bless you for taking them on, but don't desert them now.
Rosie Leaving The View
Just watching The View. I know a lot of you wil be happy. Rosie just announced that she's leaving The View. I didn't catch exactly when she was leaving or why, but she did mention her children as a factor.
Leaving for New York tomorrow sm
with my family. Watch for us in the Today Show audience. I will be the one with the laptop so I won't fall behind in my work.  Just Kidding.
Running over a dog and leaving the scene?
Going on her merry way, shopping or whatever...?
Probably doesn't have animals; I agree.
She knew she was visiting and would be leaving (sm)
She just wanted to do a few things with her granddaughter before she left. If you had my in-laws you would understand invasive. You have to share your daughter. She is your child, but she is that woman's grandchild and she has rights too. She is sooo not asking too much. She sounds very humble and non-demanding. Try to be sweet to her. She won't live forever. Let her enjoy her granchild while she can.
sweats usually, unless I am not leaving the house and then PJs...
nm
I'm loving life since leaving MT.
.
"I'm leaving my wife." I bought it once...never again. NM
x
uhh...that should be "suggested leaving"...not counseling...nm
I'm leaving what little I have left in my 401K for now - sm
(what's left wouldn't do me any good, anyway), with the hope that someday it will gain back some of what it lost. THEN, even though I probably still won't have as much as was in it before, I'll most likely take it ALL out of the stock market forever, and invest in something concrete, such as land (which even if it can't be sold for a profit, can be lived-on). The stock market has become so volatile and flaky that it no longer makes any more sense to put your hard-earned retirement money into that than it does to blow it all on Lottery tickets or slot machines.
I heard just last week that she was leaving the show--sm
Why would she suddenly become a host if she could not work out an agreement with CBS? She said she would be back for various shows already set up, but that she was not going to be there day to day...did I miss something?
I had it during my pregnancy a long, long time ago. Husband
aa
Party in SF as a send-off for friends leaving for Burning Man.
I'd love go myself, but can't afford it.....
I agree and leaving early not sore loser (sm)
I think that's just graceful, letting the winners have their day plus that had to really sting after the great season they had. But what a great game it was. Both teams should be proud they made it there.
People leaving their McMansions and traveling West
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I married the same man 3 times and still married to him.
Together for almost 29 years now.
Spending a romantic weekend in Atlanta with hubby. Leaving at noon. Can't wait! nm
,
How long is too long to wait for Pap results?
This is a follow up Pap for an abnormal one a few months back. I have waited for the results for over a month and have called the office once. Any advised about being a patient patient - LOL. Its hard when your in this business, I think anyway, not to be more aggressive about stuff like this.
I'm with you 50 and single..
I too have sworn off relationships and very happy being on my own. I cannot and will not go through it again. Both my ex's were two peas in a pod. Unfortunately, I seem to attract the same type of people. At 52, I am quite happy being alone but also having a great circle of friends. It far outweighs being unhappy, angry, always hoping things would get better when they never did.
I am not a single mom but...
I was a single woman when I bought my house. It is one of the things I regret the most right now.
BUT ONLY cause I wasn't settled down, no family, things came up and i wanted to move. I also bought it right before the market crashed 2.5 years ago, and now I am in an interest-only ARM on an upside down mortgage.
Now, considering this probably wont happen to you because the market has already crashed, there still might be room to wonder if it could fall more, depending on where you are looking to buy. My advice is if you are going to stay there and that is your home, your job, etc. etc. then buying is a great idea and when you mention you are responsible for anything that happens to the house... well that is the chance you take. Depends on what kind of home you buy, how old, and if there are HOA dues. I still dont know how I feel about homeowner's associations, even though I belong to one. However, they will be responsible for anything exteriorly wrong with my house, but for $80.00 a month. you know? so you definitely have to weigh your options.
My main advice would be DO NOT RUSH. that is what I did as I was young and excited to be a home owner at a young age, but now all that money i worked so hard for since the age of 15 is gone. I no longer have the 50K I put down on the house. That is something REALLY tough to deal with.
I love being a homeowner, but I hate that I bought when I did. you know? I know I am not the only one in that boat of course but it is still very very tough.
Good luck!!
well, I'm a single mom....
I've been divorced for nearly 8 years. I have taken care of my son completely on my own. I do not have a huge social circle, but I know what I like to do, and I concentrate on my son, but one day that child will (hopefully) grow up and be on his own and so it will be just me. I know what I like, do what I like, but sometimes, having that special someone would just, for me, make things better. But, now this is the odd part, having been married to the wrong man, I would be perfectly content to have a "significant other" without ever going to the "married" stage. I am fine and have been fine on my own the last 7 years, learned a lot about myself. Now at 35, I feel like I want someone in my life, but I dont necessarily have to be married. Sounds odd, and most of my friends are the opposite. But, I'm also one of those people that never had a lot of boyfriends, etc. I was not the girl in high school who had crushes on a lot of guys, I chose to date and not have a serious relationship in high school because I thought I was too young for that, haha. I've seen both ends of the spectrum, I've seen completely happy couples, my own mom and step-dad for example, if I was to ever get married again, I want a relationship like theirs. They are each other's best friends, and still so in love, but they also make a point of doing things separately because they are, after all, 2 separate people; and I've seen people in my life who are in their 60s and still perfectly content to be single.
I'm in the middle of that spectrum, haha, I would like someone to share in parts of my life, but I don't have to marry him if that never happens either. :)
I do know that I'm picky on friends, and I'm shy, and I don't date much, its just hard to date. I'm a single mom, I work from home, I live in a small town and have only been here 6 years, but only made 2 friends, well, people I would consider friends, I work midnights, sleep during the day, and spend time with my son in the evenings and with our family on the weekends, so I really don't even have time to date, so its a darn good thing I am happy in my life, haha, or I'd be a lonely mess. Sometimes it does get lonely, but in an affection way, not so much in a socializing way for me, I don't know how else to word that.
A single woman
What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Please do not rush into a relationship with any man at this point. Enjoy this time and spend it getting to know your children better and just spending time with them. Also get to know yourself and feel comfortable with who you are - develop some hobbies and interests. If you've spent the last 2 decades in this kind of relationship, you haven't had much time to spend on yourself. Soak in a hot tub every night if you want to.
In a sense, you've just cut a huge wart off your foot and of course it's going to feel strange and unfamiliar. It was the wart that was strange, now things are normal. It just feels strange because you aren't used to it.
Hope some of this makes sense. If you think about it, I bet you are actually less lonely now than when he was there. Some of the loneliest people I know are in marriages and relationships. Some of the happiest and most joy-filled people I know are on their own.
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