I have a MIL who was jealous of any time I spent - sm
Posted By: Laura E. on 2007-09-01
In Reply to: Sad letter to granddaughter - Gave up
with my family. It caused a lot of hurt feelings on her side, and just made me angry for the most part. You don't sound anything like my MIL though but it sounds like you did not push the issue and fight for the right to see your grandchildren. In my situation, I married 1 of 2 sons. The other has never married or had any children. We have the only grandchildren for my MIL. She was manic that we have kids though she was vastly disappointed when we had girls and has remarked on this several times in the past. It is true we trusted my mom over her in terms of childcare, etc. though my mom rarely watched the kids as she lived 4 hours away. I did visit my mom at least 4-6 x a year, but I would drop in and visit my MIL and my FIL almost every time as I literally drove right by their house on the way up to my parents. My DH rarely calls his parents, I usually call his mom once a week and chat for a while. She used to never call but lately has taken to calling every 2 weeks or so. We also used to see his parents at least once a month for at least 5 years (now it is every 6-8 weeks), day visits, while my parents only saw the kids 4-6 x a year, though I would stay anywhere from 2-5 nights when I visited. This where the jealously came into play. I was/am very close to my parents and my brothers, much like your DIL I suspect. But I was exceptionally close to my mom, when she died almost 3 years ago my world fell apart. But my MIL was always jealous of my relationship with my mom, it drove her nuts I think. My DH tried to explain to her how close were were but she just could not understand and it caused her (and me) many problems. I would catch such grief from his family when I told them I was going to see my parents/friends, it was as if they wished I did not have a family. Holidays were horrible though we did do an alternating schedule though she would argue with me about that. Things a lot different now as she now gets to be the only grandma, which I am sure she loves. My stepmother is actually better with the kids though and has a great time with them, though I will never be close to her either. My in-laws get just about all the holidays now since my mom is gone and my stepmom wants to be with her kids not her husbands, so I don't get so see my family much anymore, maybe 2 x a year. Much more complicated these days, though we still don't let them (my in-laws) have the kids as they lack in common sense bigtime when it comes to what is safe and smart for my kids. I am not saying that is the case with you as I don't know your particulars of course. But it sounds like you just gave up. I would not try buying your son's love as it sounds like you did try. I know my in-laws tried though we were up front with them with one money gift they gave us that enabled us to pay off our truck in 1 year instead of 4, that it would not buy them weekends with the kids, etc. We told them that if there were strings we did not want the money. Money does not buy love as the Beatles said, very true. I would write back your granddaughter and say you would like to have a new beginning with her and the past is over and done with , and if she ever does want to know the real story, tell her. As for your son, have you even called him and invited him to your new home, it does not sound like it. Sounds like you expect a lot and are upset because they don't do the same for you as they do for the daughter's parents. The daughter controls the kids for the most part (as do most women) so it is to be expected that her family gets their "favor" more. You need to step up and be assertive. My in-laws do do most of the visitings here (we have actually never invited them here, they just call us and say that they are coming down on such and such a day, kind of aggravating), we rarely go up there as my DH just hates going there and really does not like his parents due to a bad upbringing. They really did a number on him. Does your son have any anamosity towards you? Did something bad happen in the past? You are long overdue for a long talk with him though. But I work hard to keep the lines open with them as much as I don't like doing it, I do it. My kids love them and I would never deprive them of that. I hope you take the first step and write to your granddaughter again, and call you son. You have absolutely nothing to lose at this point. Good luck.
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Some time spent with them would be
a gift only you could give.
I probably could have spent my time, money, everything
on me because I gave them so much and now it came down to money. One is a me type person and the other, if all they care about is the $$$ and would talk nasty to me, I can wipe my hands of anyone and I mean that, who does not respect me after all I did for them. Most of the posts you read here are mothers who have younger children and most are ok when babies, toddlers but the real life comes as they get up and supposedly have some sense. I did my job and thought I did a good job. Now time for me, me, me.
Perhaps if mother Spears spent more time
parenting and less time pimping her kids all over Hollywood, this might not have happened.
Do you mean the actual hours of school. or also time spent
ol
Getting there early and staying late, time spent on phoning
il
Thank you all so much. I spent about 6
hours last night researching this man and his family via Google and MySpace. I am horrified at what I found - its a troubled family for sure, but they look great on the outside - no what I mean? The house is perfect - the guy is OCD about working in the lawn, etc. Always the appropriate holiday decoration - yet underneath the exterior they are monsters. I found the teenage daughter's MySpace and read thru postings all over, on other friends' boards, etc., and this kid has threatened to do physical harm to many kids - she alludes to bombings, and her screen name has her name followed by Kills. She has lots of posts about bomb threats at her school and sounds bragging about it. Her town name she chose has comments on bombing. Wonder where the kids are getting it from? This is way sicker than I ever imagined. I am mounting my evidence, documenting all this stuff, and just praying that nothing happens to me or my family. I would love to move - just isn't a possibility right now. I am going to research the nursing tonight, but sure got side tracked on the MySpace stuff. The mother/wife even has her own sick site. Its unreal. And its unreal how easy it is to find people on that place. Oh well. Will keep you all posted.
I spent over $64.00 on
green queen sized olives yesterday, eat them like candy.
that is really sad - spent my honeymoon on
Padre Island - guess the beaches went the way of my marriage - down the tubes!
I was out before 8:30 and spent about an hour
shopping- I do not like to shop at all and mostly this morning bought things for me, like some flannel PJs and some sweaters at the outlet store. The crowd not bad at all- only 1 ahead of me in the checkout. I shop over the net quite a bit but had received flyer and things I wanted I got.
Last month I spent $321 for 3 of us.
It's just DH, 18 year-old son, and I. We live in the Philadelphia area. We generally eat far less meat than most American families, but we aren't vegetarian. My son commutes to a nearby university and works there, as well. He provides his own lunches, and probably only eats breakfast at home half of the time.
Now, if you want to factor in what we pay for the meal plan for our son who lives away at college, well then... that's a whole other story! KA-CHING!
Money spent and nothing to show for it
I paid a little over $600.00 for a dinette suite the first of April. They had to order and I called time and time again and finally told the store in August I wanted my money back. No reply. I took out a small claims against the company and the guy did not even show (although he got the complaint because he called me at home and said "I had fallen thru the crack." Yeh- right ! Anyway, by this time had bought another set and asked for just the return. No response to the file and now have gotten a judgement just for his not showing up. I am given a list of several things to collect my money, i.e. file Fi. Fa. which places lien against losing party and any property they own, 2) file garnishment against his paycheck, 3) file garnishment on his bank acct, 4) levy against real and person property (this I would have to contact lawyer for) and lastly turn judgement over to attorney or collection agency for collection. Please, anyone have any ideas on what steps I should take? I would like to not have to spend a lot of money if possible. Thanks
how I spent my Monday morning...sm
Just wanted to say how much I missed this community while I was away...take a look at the picture I've linked...that's my neighborhood during our mandatory evacuation from the Marek Fire in California... Didn't know if I should post this here or on the mental health or prayer request boards LOL! Grateful to have my home...and my home office...next time you dread Monday morning...keep this as a reminder to renew your perspective! javascript:editor_insertHTML('text','');
We paid cash, spent about
$1000 total for grandkids and gifts for each other. We are debt free except our house. There is nothing like being able to sleep well at night and not be afraid to answer the phone should it ring. We have lived this way for many years, have learned to save money, pay cash for what we want. This has been to our benefit as we haven't had our CC companies drop our limits or increase our percentage rates at all; in fact, our limits keep rising even though we only use them once or twice a year. The thought of having to pay for something many months and years later is baffling to me.
Just spent an entire week in FL with brother sm
and his whole family - wife - 3 kids. To make a long story short, my sister in law does not like me. I'm about 7 years younger than she is. She is very jealous of my close relationship with my bro. Always. This trip she made it very clear how much she does not like me at all. I cried a lot this trip. My feelings have been so badly hurt. I've never done anything to her personally - she just hates me. My brother was very standoffish this trip and I know why. He has a very jealous wife. They would just get up and leave and not tell us where they were going or invite us. They NEVER used to do things like that. The whole time, if ever I had a suggestion for dinner or entertainment she would shoot it down with, "I don't want to do that!" I'm talking everything I came up with. What's even sadder is that they have 2 girls - my nieces - 13 and 15 - who used to love and adore me - their aunt - and this trip they were so ugly to me. I haven't seen them in over a year. We stayed in a 2 BR condo on the beach. Pretty small unit. They got the master BR. While walking to my room one evening the 3 of them (sister in law and 2 girls) were just berating me in gossip - talking about what I wore to the beach, the way I styled my hair, just stup*d things. Just gossiping so bad about me. I wanted to cry.
After I heard that about mid-way through the trip, I completely shut down emotionally. I only spoke when spoken to, didn't suggest anything at all to do, and was cordial, but not overly friendly like I usually am. Today when we left, she walked right by me in the hall and didn't say a word. Got into the car and they drove off. I had already said by to the kids and my bro. I cried when hugging my bro. He had his sunglasses on - he probably wanted to cry to. We lost our dad growing up and our mom pretty much abandoned us. We've stuck together until he moved out of state and started his family. I did too. He gets along GREAT with my husband and my kids.
What compels women to act like this? I don't understand it. Why would you want to live in your own prison of hate and bring everyone around you down? I can't stop crying! My brother lives about 2,000 miles away. I want to be close to him and his wife and kids. She won't allow it.
I know I have to just accept this is life and the way it will be. I am having a pity party. Can I say this eloquently without you taking offense? I am hating women right now. No matter how kind and nice I am, I always get slapped in the face. Always. I am a very kind and nice person. My mom always said I had wishbone but no backbone. I guess I just expect others to be kind, too, and when they aren't, I get hurt and I don't understand it. 
Save your money, other ways better spent
NM
spent NYE playing Rock Band for PS2
a lot of fun though discovered I'm never going to be a drummer (or a singer) :) So I guess I won't quit my day job.
I am jealous of you
I am jealous of all of you......
I have 2 of the most standoffish cats on the planet. Lucky is my 3-year-old female that I rescued at 3 weeks of age or so when her mother abandoned her and her sibling. I bottle fed her and everything...most pitiful thing you have ever seen.. You'd think she'd be a little grateful. No, she's not. At least she has stopped biting now that she is more mature. I accidently tripped over her in the dark one night on my way to bed...she raced me upstairs, ran under my bed and bit my foot as I was getting into bed.
Tripp is my almost 1 year old male and he a little more sociable. Right now, he is sleeping on the couch in my office, which is what he usually does in the afternoons. He loves to play, but hates to be handled or petted. He actually ducks when you go to pet him. We've had him since he was a kitten, so no history of abuse. Just needs his space, I guess. I've always had cuddly cats it the past, so these two are a disappointment to me in that department. But I love them anyway.
I'm SO jealous!
I'm in Texas and we are pushing 90 degrees!
jealous
I'm probably the most jealous, insecure woman in the world. No way would my husband be that close to a woman, job or not. I'm ashamed of the fact now, but DH and I had a very long-term affair before we divorced and married each other. He is a bartender and I know exactly how people stray. Has everything to do with both the person and the environment. Put anyone in a conducive environment and see what happens. No one is immune. If people think so, they are fooling themselves. I'm not a kid anymore - 52 - talking from experience. Blast away, ladies - like I said, I'm ashamed now, but still remember vividly!
I'm jealous!
Here in the south, we can't even get rain, much less snow! Enjoy some for me...I'm jealous...
I AM SO JEALOUS!!!! nm
nm
I'm Jealous!!!!!
x
Sorry, that was mean. I'm just jealous
mm
My DH spent his check and we have no money for food this week. :(
the jerk
wrong...he spent 4 years in korean schools
Spent 2 hours with my kids playing that today - fun! nm
x
If father thought child support was not being spent
x
Jealous of what? Because she can drive
NM
I'm jealous, I wish I had such an account
as a secret one so I could sock away some extra $$ !!!
Sounds like he is jealous (sm)
It sounds like he is craving your attention and just jealous of the younger sister to me. I think it is normal for kids their age to talk like that. I can't even tell you how many times my cousins and I and my sister and I said that about each other and there was anywhere from 1-5 years age difference. It was almost always over someone getting more attention and/or praise or something like that.
Aw - Poor Lil Ole You - Jealous, huh? (nm)
x
jealous...congrats wish it were me
Keep me posted...I want to know everything.
People get jealous sm
If you are doing well, I find people, especially other women, get jealous and mean. I literally knocked myself silly for a neighbor, I cannot tell you how many things I have gone overboard for her because the family was going through tough times. I even lost valuable time working and had to pull all nighters. She called me one day and said, "We can't all be you up in your office."Various other things were said that cut me to the core. I helped her run a fund raiser when she obviously did not know how to do it and it was a huge success and she took all the credit (at church). I was a true friend to her and gave my all. A plain thank you note or word would have done. The worst scenario was when I went in for surgery on my breast and she never called to see how I was. I called her and told her my biopsy was non-cancerous as the first came back DCIS, and she just said, "hmmm" as if "who cares." I'm done with false friends. From now on I only depend on myself or my DH, hurt too many times. She also told me she does not make thousands of dollars at a time, well, you have to work your buttocks off and by the time Uncle Sam and all the rest get paid, it's not always thousands. They are jealous because we are entrepeneurs in our own right, I guess. If they only knew - but they don't!
and I have to confess, I am a little bit jealous of them.
I think it would be so much easier to live with a woman than a man. No more History Channel or freakin Dirty Jobs!
Mexico is jealous of Miss USA
Speaking of bilingual signs....call any customer service number, including Social Security, and what do you hear.
I say press 1 for English, otherwise hang up!!!
Not so much jealous, as they just can't get a handle on why things
m
How do you handle being jealous of stepkids?
Big problem, girls! I have a stepdaughter that I am so jealous of I cannot see straight most of the time when she is here. The child is 9 years old and has her daddy so wrapped up that when she is here I am just pushed aside completely. He does not see it, thinks I am just overreacting and is even to the point of starting to take her and spend his visitation time somewhere else and not bring her around me.
I do not begrudge her getting her daddy's attention... I just feel that I should be involved more. If they are watching a movie, he loves on her and holds her while I am pushed over to the recliner by myself, when its time to go to bed, I go to bed alone while he sleeps with her and if I want him in the bed with me, I have to wait until she goes to sleep and then go wake him up and ask him to come to bed with me. We cannot close our door when she is here because she will get upset and start banging on it and crying and he will run right out to her (even if we are in the middle of a conversation), we cannot sit together on the bed and watch TV even if she is in her room by herself because as soon as she knows he is in the room with me she starts hollering for him and he runs to her and then proceeds to crawl up in her bed and watch TV with her. If they are going somewhere it is usually just the two of them and I am not invited because they need to spend some time together.
Granted, he does not get her on a regular basis (his fault, not mine) and he wants her to know that he loves her, but why can't he see that I should be included too? He wants me to love her and spend time with her and do things with her (especially when there is a football game on he wants to watch, or somewhere he wants to run with the guys for a little while), but then he makes it where I don't want to because once he is ready for her back, I am just pushed aside.
She calls me "She", not my name; she does not acknowledge me when she comes in the door until he forces her to speak to me; after our living together since she was 4 years old she gets very upset and says that I am not her daddy's girlfriend and that I am just a "friend" and she tells everybody that. I feel like he enforces that idea when he pushes me aside and he says I am just being ridiculous and selfish by wanting him to spend more time with me when she is here. I don't even ask him to forego time with her, I just want him to make some time for me (maybe give her a bedtime and have grownup time with me after she is asleep even?).
Am I just ridiculous as he says, or am I right in feeling the way I do? Help, please...
Jealous is not the correct word here
Not a jealous bone in my body. Reading what was said under mine, like no one ever had sex, OMG, victorian like posts to this one where it seems okay to join in and tell how often you indulge. Some joker even saying it should be banned. For what I have no idea. I did not cross any lines and now this. Like one who answered said, they had seen much worse on these postings and so have I. My life is so rich not enough time to be jealous of anyone or anything.
Don't be jealous of those who are thin...most CAN do something about their weight if they tried.
NM
And I think someone is jealous, what's wrong, no male attention for you? lol
I totally agree with the OP. I too have been inappropriately treated by men, uncomfortable staring or smiling or flitatious comments and it gets a little tiresome. The problem is that men never grow up. They would do this into their 90s if they could still see!
I'm jealous that you have garden food ready now...sm
Good luck keeping the critters out so you can eat it all yourself!
I think it's rude (and they're jealous) if they tell you to cut your hair due to age
If your husband likes it, and you like it, who cares what anyone else thinks!
I wish my mom (age 75) would let hers grow a little. She wants it cut really short all the time and I think it looks awful.
Also, your ears never stop growing, the older you get the larger they get, so why not keep them covered? LOL
I did want to show you guys my mom's FIVE dogs..I'm a little jealous of them..sm
They are so spoiled, as you can see....She doesn't have time to MT because she has to watch them all day long!
Who's jealous? I'm not overweight. I just choose not to dress
like a prostitute, or someone proud of their anus hairs - lol. I've obviously struck a nerve with you though... Don't worry, you'll grow out of it someday and realize you're worth more than that.
very common for anyone wanting a life, LOL! i have one and my DH is kinda jealous of me using it so
agree, sex toy parties are great fun and there are actually a lot of things for men there too for themselves or to use on you also. tell him he ought to be thankful it is a toy to enjoy and you are out playing the field, lol. but FYI, get a brief case and lock it up!!! i have had my kids find mine too and it was a double header so it was really, really embarrassing. DH bought it years ago and i only used one end but it was still great.
Yes, and cats are very possessive abnd jealous, but adorable..nm
nm
So you're jealous that we didn't want to hear about hot your times were? Seriously? nm
x
No! That sounds too desperate. TIME. Just give it TIME. If it is real, then sm
something will definitely evolve. If you like him, flirt back! Don't act desperate because if he DOES like you, then the suspense will just make him want to get to know you more. Trust me on this.
I worked in the medical records department of a hospital when I was single and dated a few co-workers in my early 30s. It was fun. Nothing serious came about any of the relationships.
This sounds like fun - the beginning of maybe something to come....Keep us informed.
Totally agree, get these from time to time since teens...sm
It's a neuro condition, it does not mean there is anything at all wrong with you, it is actually related to narcolepsy, hypnagogic (sp? I just got up!) hallucinations, etc. And I HATE when I get these, it is always freaky, my siblings get this too, at times. I can "go away" for years and years before you get another episodes, so don't worry! I heard that when you are under a lot of stress or are very busy with things that this happens more??? Take care!!
It's time to stop when you or the kid(s) feel it is time, and no sooner. sm
My grandmother (who passed away at the young age of 107 back in the mid 1990s) was STILL celebrating every little holiday for all of her many kids and grandkids, and she would STILL give me a chocolate bunny every Easter, as she had since I was a toddler and even though I was 40ish at the time (and I still delighted in biting its head off in front of her, as I had also done since I was a toddler, which always met with mock disapproval from her).
Don't let anyone dampen your joy in celebrating your traditions.
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