I have a 17 year old daughter, a senior.
Posted By: NYMT on 2008-11-04
In Reply to: A survey. See inside - dizzi
She actually doesn't ask to be out during the school week. She's in drama club and working on college applications and homework. If she did ask, I think as long as her homework was done I'd probably let her be out until about 9:00. Her bedtime isn't until 11, but she needs the wind-down time. Weekends, it's midnight.
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That was me my senior year of high school.
Since kindergarten for me, I was always above average in school. I was always on the Honor Roll. I always did my homework. I always cared about my grades. In 9th, 10th and 11th grades I still cared. I was in the National Honor Society and still making As and Bs. If I made a C, I was crushed. Then my senior year of high school, something changed. Keep in mind, that the summer before my senior year, my dear Aunt passed away suddenly and we were very close. That year, it seemed like I just stopped caring. The classes I were in had none of my friends. My lunch period had none of my friends. I just usually stayed in the library during lunch. That was the 1st semester. I still did my work and tried to do good. Then the 2nd semester hit and I really stopped caring. I quit doing any school work and that was HIGHLY unusual for me. I was just so sick of school. In March with only 2 or 3 months to go til graduation, I dropped out. All my teachers called because they were just so shocked because I had always been such a good student. The counselors came out to my house and talked with my mom and thought I had social anxiety, but I wouldn't talk to them. I don't know what happened. I just knew that I hated school with a passion and couldn't bear going anymore. I spent like a year wasting around and then I knew I had to get my diploma. So I went to the community college and got my GED. And then I went on to college and got my Associate's. I think that nowadays, they just make school so aggravating and hard for kids. There are horrible teachers who don't care. They depend so much on students passing these end of grade tests instead of going by their grades throughout the year. Such as my cousin for ex., she in in 5th grade and had ADHD. She is in a special class. So far this year, she has made only 1 C. The school sent out a letter half way through the year saying she is in danger of failing. Now, does that make any sense? No. She does great in school but on those end of grade tests, she just does not do good. So, if she fails the end of grade testing, even if she was on the Honor Roll throughout the whole year, she fails her grade. That is NOT fair. The school systems are just stupid i think. I think a lot of kids, once they get to high school, are just so sick of school and how things are, they just don't want to care anymore. I am sure your son will get over this slump. But with me, I dropped out but I still ended up with a diploma and going to college, so I am sure he will turn out fine.
My 14-year-old is going to be a mother-in-law (so funny) if you google it and 11-year-old daughter
x
My 8-year-old daughter had the
flu a couple of weeks ago and she took Tamiflu and seemed to get over it pretty quick. Hubby also had it and got prescribed Flumadine b/c it was cheaper and he seemed to take a little longer to get over it, but he is a bigger baby than daughter also!
My 11-year-old daughter
staying with us for a week because her mother is out of state. She is a close friend with my daughter. Our family loves her and treats her like one of our own. Hoping this goes well but not naive enough to think that arguments may not arise with the two of them being together constantly for a week. There will be a break Saturday night, as she will be staying with her grandmother and returning here the next day. Just wondering if any of you have any suggestions to possibly prevent any chaos at my house. lol. Wish me luck!
My 16 year old daughter - sm
says that kids often way exaggerate on these places, especially about threatening suicide. That doesn't mean that some of them aren't serious, but probably the majority of them are looking for the drama.
So, while it probably wasn't a "joke" per se, it's also probably not nearly as scary as it sounds. She did the same kind of post at age 14 that I carried around with me while watching for other signs, but her grades stayed up, she showed no signs of cutting off her friends, etc. Just normal teen highs and lows, and time passed and so did that.
My point - Take a breath, calm your nerves, and just be watchful. It'll probably just turn out to be another phase.
16-year-old daughter - need help from all who have gone through this
Just found out that my 16-year-old, good kid, honor student, has been leading a double life for the past two years. I found out through some snooping and confronted her. She fessed up to drinking and smoking but swears no drugs. The times that I thought she was sleeping over at the house of her friends that I knew, she was apparently sleeping at random places with a bunch of other kids that I don't even know, as she feels that this is completely appropriate and was "doing nothing wrong". She swears she has not had sex. She apparently has a lot of guy friends and most of them I don't even know and did not even know existed.
She feels that now that she has come clean, I should be okay with this whole situation and allow her to continue to live her lifestyle that she simply "loves and is unwilling to give up". We have been fighting daily. I have not told her father about this, because he is "european" and would definitely come down hard on her and I don't even know what he would do. She tells me that she will definitely leave if I tell him.
She demands one day a week that she can sleep out whereever she pleases and I should be okay with that. I am not. I am at my wits end. She swears she will leave if I "don't leave her alone".
My rules are simple:
1. Home by curfew (11:30 friday and saturday) and 10 weeknights in the summer (but I don't feel she needs to go out every night and she disagrees).
2. I no longer let her take the care whenever she wants, as I don't trust her.
3. She can socialize with her friends and I will pick her up and drive her within reasonable distance close to home.
4. I can even learn to live with the drinking, as long as she gets home safe by my picking her up or having a safe ride home.
5. I don't want her sleeping out any more.
She is fighting me tooth and nail and is swearing she will leave the house if I don't "leave her alone".
We used to get along so well or so I thought, and now I find out she is a complete stranger and not at all the daughter I thought I had.
I am so depressed and don't know what to do. I don't want to have to tell my husband, but she is leaving me no choice but I am scared to death that she will leave. The worst part is that she knows my fear and is using it to get to me.
I desperately need some good sound advice.
Thanks and sorry so long.
I have a 13-year-old daughter myself
And as long as it was during the day, I was home, and she stayed where I could see them I wouldn't have a problem with the boys being at the house.
As for the pizza, trust your gut. I do let my daughter go to the pizza place in our town, but we live in a very small town, and I only let her go with her brothers (14&15) or with another girlfriend and I put a time limit on it.
It is something that girls her age are allowed to do, unfortunately, to many of them have no limitations at all. Only you know how far you can trust your daughter.
I have a 14 year old daughter also
Thankfully right now she doesn't have any boyfriends, although there are boys in the neighborhood who are friends that we've know for 13 years that she'll meet up with when the weather's decent and everyone is outside. She has amazing friends who come from good families and I trust her and them. I guess you just have to trust your children and decide how much leeway you feel you can give them. There are a couple of younger girls in the neighorhood that hang out with a whole group of older boys and just walk the streets. Those are the ones I'd worry about.
Just this past year we've been letting her go to the mall with her friends alone and she has started going to parties, but she always has to go in a group and come home at a decent hour.
My daughter had it over a year ago and
she is still suffering side effects. You do not get over it in 4 weeks.
P.S. I have a beautiful 8-year-old daughter from it all. nm
xx
My 16-year-old daughter smoking
I have known for about a year that my daughter has been smoking from time to time. I made it very clear to her that this was very unacceptable and absolutely would not be tolerated.
Apparently she has done a very good job at hiding it. Tonight when I was putting socks into her sock drawer, for some reason I decided to push aside her socks and, of course, I found a cigarette, but the filter had been cut off. I also saw several filters that had been cut off in her drawer. I asked her about it a little bit ago and naturally she stormed upstairs and wouldn't discuss it with me. This may sound incredibly naive, but I really don't know why the filters were cut off? Maybe to make the cigarette stronger? This thought makes me sick to my stomach.
I am at a loss here. She is a pretty good girl, an honor roll student, has lots of friends, but still loves to spend time with her family. I have grounded her in the past for this, but apparently that didn't get my point across. I would love to hear from parents with teenagers who have been through this before and have suggestions on how to deal with this. Also, I'm almost afraid to ask, but any ideas why the filters were cut off the cigarettes?
My daughter had these last year on her shoulders
I got ointment with aloe in it for burns that had also lidocaine and put loose gauze over top. The blister will pop on its own. It will probably be sore once it pops, so keep it covered with the gauze. I added the ointment to take away the sting. It will not hurt so much if you get the ointment. I covered them so they wouldn't get infected and "smart" while she slept.
There are 4-5 a year at my daughter's HS. It's become commonplace.
We live in a moderate-sized town outside Seattle. Usually the threats are phoned in; I don't know if there's ever been a note. Evacuation, police, dogs.... one time they stood around in a rain/hailstorm for over 2 hours while the school (7 buildings on her HS campus) was searched. She and a friend looked around the field where everyone was corralled and said, "gee, if someone was really going to plant a bomb, they'd put it here."
What can you do? If the police search the school and give the all-clear, I say send him back in. It's a miserable decision to have to make either way. Just my $0.02.
Need advice on 16 year old daughter. SM
I just found out that my 16 1/2 year old daughter has been drinking and smoking and has been lying to me about this. I found out and confronted her and she came clean stating that she drinks, but has never been drunk, will just have enough to where she is "happy" and also smokes 3 to 4 cigarettes a month, she says. I have now lost complete trust in her because she has been lying to me all this time stating that she did not drink or smoke and neither did her friends, etc, etc. She has always been a good girl (or at least I thought so) and is an honor student. She just got her driver's license in May. The first thing that I have decided to do is to not let her drive for a while. This is my first experience with this and I need advice and guidance on what the appropriate punishment is. Please help.
Personally, I have an 18-year-old daughter
and no way would I have let her brother's friend move in with us. There is too much temptation even if they are like brother and sister to start with. Also, I agree with other poster, it is not right to limit your daughter's social life with her friends because of an 18yo boy living in your house.
My daughter graduated last year
And she took a class that taught cooking, sewing, finances, etc. She knows how to sew better than I do! I guess it just depends on the school maybe?
Dear 34-year-old daughter
I call because I am lonely. It is really quiet with all you kids gone and someday soon, when your 3 are grown, you will know too, and then you will call nonstop. That is just what we do. Yes, I do call your brothers and sister when I am lonely also, but your right, you are closer and more convienent. Sorry about the wallpaper....once again, I am lonely and needed help. Deep down, you know I care and I am not trying to be critical of you. My intent is there, maybe my approach is wrong. Someday though...you will reach for that phone 3 times a day and it will not be me on the other end, enjoy it while it lasts.
Poll time... if your 15-year-old daughter....sm
has a paper due at school that was assigned a week ago, she procrastinated and didn't start writing it until the afternoon before the due date and didn't type it up until 11 p.m. at night, then knocked on your door to wake you up because she realized there was no printer printer would you:
A. Get dressed and go to the 24-hour Wal-Mart to get paper.
B. Tell her that it's too bad- she should have done her paper sooner than this and alerted you before 11 p.m. that there was no printer paper - especially when she has gone through a whole ream within a month printing out things like rock band and television star photos and other nonessential things.
(For the record - my husband & I did option B to help her learn a "life lesson" last night - she'll get a reduced grade for turning in the paper late but hopefully she'll learn to stop procrastinating on her school work - which is a chronic problem with her - even with her getting A's and B's.)
No, that is her daughter. This is her 19-year-old son. Looking for link. Will post.
Be right back.
16-year-old daughter-need advice desperately
She is heading down a dark path here. You don't know who she is hanging with and she is pretty good at being stealth. Please put your foot down. You don't want her to be a headline, too many bad things can happen to her. It will be ugly and horrible but that's our job. You don't want to be looking back saying..."if only"...good luck! Any of us could be where you are!
latest update on 16-year-old daughter.
Well, I did it. I told my husband. He had a good stern talking with her about how what she is doing is not good and will not be tolerated, and told her that the rules were expected to be abided by. He grounded her for 2 weeks and we took away her license and car keys. She is beside herself and of course hates me more than anything because I betrayed her to her dad. Go figure. Anyway, now she states that there is no way she will stay in this house and will just run away. Or she will get a job and as soon as she can get some money together, she will emancipate herself from us. My husband told her that if she runs away, the next step will be something like military school. What a mess. He says we have to be tough or she won't get the message. This is so hard for me. I feel like I lost her. She wants nothing to do with me. I just hope and pray that someday she will understand that I did what I think is best for her.
At least now he knows and he can help me handle it. If she does run away, at least now he knows. I told her I love her more than life and I am doing this for her own good. She just reiterated how much she hates me.(sigh)
Thanks for all the good advice everyone. Please pray for me and my daughter. I never thought being a parent could be this hard.
I have an 18-year-old daughter and we charge her rent...
I think it teaches them responsibility and what the "real" world is like, there is not a free ride and to be accountable. The rent we charge does include groceries, cell phone, etc. She just pays my husband and I a lump sum at the beginning of the month and it covers all expenses at home. She buys her own clothes, make-up, personal items and even helps with her college expenses at the local community college. I think it's a great idea!
My 19-year-old daughter wants to join the Army. I'm very scared at the thought. Any advice out th
Before the Iraq war, I would have been more excited that she wanted to do something positive with her life for a change, but this thought is scary as we know people that have lost their children in the war. I know in some ways this could turn her life around and be what she needs as she is very immature and is going down the wrong road, but are there other alternatives. A lot of people tell us it's still a good time for kids. Any thoughts out there?
Tough Love advice. My 19-year-old daughter is making me nuts..
I don't even know where to start with this one but I'll just to give a short summary. My 19-year-old daughter has been troubled since I can remember. For example, her terrible twos went beyond that..if you didn't peel her orange right, she didn't want it and would throw it across the room. I think her diagnosis is best described as ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and bipolar. She has a quick temper and at age 5 blackened her 12-year-old brother's eyes with a book because he got in her face. She has annoyed everyone she has come into contact with. She is very immature. We have tried everything to get her help because once she became a teenager it just got worse. She is self-destructive and I became the enabler and now it is out of control. She would not go to school so she does not have an education. We had to call the cops numerous times because of her violent outbursts. We had her arrested when she stole our credit cards so she could learn a lesson but the courts did nothing. She was supposed to be court ordered to have a job and attend school, of which she did nothing and there was no punishment. She has never suffered any consequences no matter how hard we tried. She was charged with 10 felonies for the credit card theft but got nothing. She just batted her big blue eyes at the judge and it all went away. I have paid her rent for a year or two, bought her a car and paid for it. All of these of course when she had a job but right after I did all of this she stopped going. She got into meth..You would not believe my heartbreaking nightmare. Some days I just don't think I can take another minute of it. At this point, she is now homeless because I just cannot keep paying her bills. She just totaled the car so she has no car and no job and still wants me to pay her way and she has lost her license due to DUI and driving again without privileges. It never stops. How far do I take this? She calls me for money that she says is to eat but if I keep giving her money then what is her motivation to go to work. I kept thinking if she hit bottom she could only come up..but she likes the bottom and just hovers there. She adapts to any environment. So when does she wake up and do you think tough love would work on a child with mental issues. I paid all of her doctor bills so she could get help and on medication but just found out she hasnt been taking them. I know I have so many questions but I have no idea how to "fix her" anymore. I know she needs to help herself but how much is she actually capable of being on drugs and mental health issues. This is devastating to our family and when I don't help her she becomes suicidal and I want to just hang up because I know she is manipulating but what if this is the time she really does something. I tried to take her into the hospital because of her meth addiction because she finally asked for help and was told there really wasn't any programs for her because she didn't have insurance so I left just thinking.."well, I guess you'll have to do it on your own, there is no help." Now, that is heartwrenching. At some point, I know she just has to grownup, but I don't know if I can survive this. I'm stressed 24/7 and sadly whenever she calls I get such bad anxiety. I can hardly be around her because she is so manipulative and I feel guilty that I try to avoid her. I always thought it'd be different if I just loved her more, spend more time with her and so as a mom, I blame myself because she is so messed up. Guilt just fuels the enabling.. Help.. any suggestions, advice??
Go Here if you are a Senior, if not
go here and have fun anyway or pass along to a senior. Especially like the stress relieving elastic baby. Please scroll down
Oh BTW, am considered senior so
noticed how you signed and am sure probably older by lots of years than you!!
Senior portraits
I'm just now looking into senior portrait options for my daughter, and am having a really difficult time trying to choose a photographer. I have narrowed it down to 3 studios. The one that has pretty decent package prices also has a very high session fee, or at least I think it is rather high. Her session fee is $125, compared to a $40 fee with one studio, and another with no session fee at all. I guess the difference is that she does spend about 2 hours with the senior, and she also drives them to a friend's house who has an absolutely beautiful outdoor setting to work with. She said she stops at a pizza place along the way to give the kids a break and treats them to a snack. The studio with the $40 session fee has higher priced packages with fewer photos in them. I am leaning more towards using this lady, but the sitting fee is bothering me a bit. Is $125 reasonable for a session fee for senior pics?
Senior portraits
The $125 is just the sitting fee. However, I'm looking at around $350 to $400 by the time I'm done choosing the portraits and whatever extras we decide to go with. I'm okay with paying for the portraits. It's just the session fee that I'm curious about...just wondering if that is a typical charge for a session fee. I guess it could also depend on the area you live in though.
senior gifts
Not sure why, but a senior once told me they love getting writing paper and postage stamps.
My first day of college. He was a senior, I was a freshman.
We didn't date until the end of my sophomore year and after he had graduated, but we were part of the same circle of friends. When I first met him, he was listening to a transister radio with a single earpiece. (Anyone remember those?) He was waiting to hear when Led Zeppelin concert tickets were going on sale.
We've been married 23 years, and are still going strong. (And our youngest child will be attending that same university in the fall.)
I am some years your senior, but still young looking and seem to SM
be attractive to men. However, I found that men felt they had been there, done that. . . and the only thing they were missing was what you pointed out. I literally met a man who was married and divorced five times. Thanks, but no thanks. For me he HAS to be a nonsmoker, very occasional drinker, etc.
My sister and I agree that after we were with a man a time or two it already became quite evident why he is divorced. I know this is not always the case, but very often it is. I met a man one time, and I must respect this, who told me sadly that he had the most wonderful woman in the world and he cheated on her and lost her. He said he takes 100% responsibility for the breakup. He said it was the worst mistake he ever made in his life. There are exceptions to every rule, but more often than not I found the ones who were looking for one thing and had no desire to begin again and have a future with someone.
How old is the child? First grade or senior in
xx
First day of college. I was a freshman and he was a senior.
We didn't pay too much attention to each other, to be honest, but we ran in the same crowd of friends. I kept running into him at parties and bars (back when the legal drinking age was 18 and I could hang out in a bar as a teenager.) We eventually took serious notice of each other and started dating. We've been married 24 years, and occasionally we still go to the pub and have a drink or two.
senior citizens babysity toddlers
Dear toddler hater,
A while back someone got the idea that all those people in the nursing home should be playing with all those kids in daycare! Guess what! It did not work! Why? Because old people were jealous of the kids. So the great american experiment failed and now the old people sit in their diapers alone and the kids get to go the movies with their moms while their dads are in Iraq!
Sincerely,
Defender of yucky, loud toddlers.
A Very Costly Kiss: Senior Denied Diploma
For teens, there is no greater joy than graduating high school. Shaking off the shackles of education and claiming that hard-fought diploma is truly an epic day. Unfortunately, for several students at Bonny Eagle High School in Maine, their natural exuberance has led to some surprisingly serious problems.
On Friday night, when the senior class was waiting to graduate, excitement began to grow. Students bounced a large inflatable rubber duck. The noise level rose. And then came "the kiss." When called, one student walked on stage to receive his diploma and blew a kiss to his family. The school administrator, clearly not the sentimental sort, sent the student back to his seat ... sans diploma.
The seemingly harsh punishment has sent the Web all aflutter. Searches on "student denied diploma" and "bonny eagle high school" are both through the roof. Additionally, blogs and news papers are chiming in with opinions on whether or not the administration overreacted. The student's mother has given interviews and is quite upset at her son's treatment. According to an article from Fox News the outraged mother said, "A bow, a kiss to your mom is not misbehavior."
But the administrators feel they were just enforcing the rules that students agreed to. At a meeting following the debacle, school superintendent Suzanne Lukas said that "if a student doesn't adhere to the expectations, then the consequences are clearly spelled out."
This isn't the first time that rambunctious (dare we say "fun"?) behavior affected a graduation ceremony at Bonny Eagle. "Four years ago we had some issues with silly string and beach balls," said Lukas.
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
Bigger issue - a 16 year old living withi a 29 year old and liability
Are you still not responsible for him until he is 18, how can he tell you where he will live? Unless he emancipates himself and he does something wrong, can they go against you since you are his mother and legally responsible for him? I worry more about him living with a 29 year old sister rather than returning a house key to me that is a bigger issue.
Won $2,000 on slot machine on New Year's Eve. What a way to start the year. nm
!
Set my budget a year in advance, save all year and
nm
What a difference a year makes! Last year, sm
we had the same problem. Fines everywhere for watering.
Paid $60,000 on principal last year and this year
planning on another $30,000 after my taxes paid for the year. We are getting our house paid down very quickly.
55-year old woman has birthday sex with 12-year old
DAYTON - Gloria Murphy gave children celebrating her 55th birthday alcohol and then had sex with a 12-year-old boy at the party on Thursday, Jan. 29, according to police.
The boy got into Murphy’s bed at 5440 Rawlings Drive, where the married woman had sex with her adolescent neighbor, according to police and Montgomery County prosecutors.
Two of the children at the party ran home at about 6 a.m. Jan. 30 and told a parent they saw the boy and woman having sex, according to 911 audio.
The parent then called police at about 6:15 a.m., according to a police report and 911 audio.
Murphy did not force the boy to have sex, but since he is younger than 13, it is considered rape, Lt. Patrick Welsh said. No other children were involved in the sexual encounter, but some other children at the party consumed alcohol, according to police.
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
A 17-year-old would have the same goals as a 20 year old (sm)
Only the 20 year old is hopefully more responsible and based on what you say about his character, would be a better choice than someone her own age.
I have a 9-year-old son that sounds just like your 10 year old...
Lately he has been so negative about everything...trying to make him have a good summer and whenever I take him somewhere, he is just a brat when we get home...I think they are called tweens at this age...not quite teenagers but have the attitude like one---LOL
We skipped it entirely last year, and THIS year?
This 40-year-old got dumped for a 30-year-old
http://www.gqmagazine.co.uk/CoolNewStuff/Photos.aspx?StoryID=53859
This year will be our 35th year
The first couple years it was literally 5 or 6 times a day every day (more on the weekends). Over time it gradually slowed down (once a day) and over the past few years its been 2 or 3 times a week. Not sure that is average or not. There were times were I felt it was too much and him not enough, then there were times where I wanted it more and he didn't. Guess everyone goes through a phase. I guess because of how long we've been together, now it's just comfortable - nothing exciting about it. Just a routine. I have to make it exciting in my mind and pretend I'm someone else.
I don't know what it is, but you are correct...after awhile the lust and infatuation wears off and you get in a routine. I guess for us it was that we really didn't know each other when we married (we dated for 3 weeks then eloped). Once I got to know him it was too late. Now 35 years later it is just comfort (and amazingly we never once used birth control and never had any kids). My mom still tells me she's amazed at the frequency of our encounters that not even once did I even have a "close call" with getting pregnant.
But 35 years once or twice a week and 3 or 4 times on weekends. Not sure if that is normal.
Yay for your daughter!
Glad to hear it!
My daughter did twice...sm
and everything did turn out okay. She was very concerned and upset of course but her doc was very positive with her, explaining that there are a lot of false-positives for some reason or another. Good luck to you and try not to worry. I know that is easier said than done though!
Yes, with my first daughter. sm
The test results were actually quite bad. I worked at a doctors office at the time and had the blood drawn there. When the results came in from the lab the four family docs I worked for called my OB and all five had a sit down, serious talk with me. I was extremely frightened, but knew I wouldnt do anything drastic if it was truely Downs. My daughter turned out 100% fine. No Downs. Nothing. With my next two daughters I skipped the test all together. I knew I would never terminate due to Downs, so I left it in Gods hands and skipped that part of testing. All three of mine are fine. That test has too many false results.
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