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I handled it by quit allowing myself to be taken advantage of -sm

Posted By: mellee on 2008-01-21
In Reply to: How do you deal with people who always return gifts or sm - Anon me

Just STOP doing it.  Doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result borders on insanity!  They obviously do not value what is given, so stop doing it, save yourself the money and the heartache, and move on to more positive things to spend your energy on. 


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Hmm, what does Florida not allowing have to do with ?
Does Florida allow more things then say the rest of the states or something? Please explain.
I agree. I think allowing any pet in a store, other than
It really makes women look ridiculously foo-foo. LOL
How would you have handled this situation?

Yesterday I was at breakfast with my mom and sister.  At the table behind us (to my back, I couldn't see it, but could hear what was going on...my mom and sister saw everything) there was a man, a woman, and 2 babies.  One of the babies threw her crayons on the floor; the woman was not at the table; the man hit the baby in the head for throwing the crayons on the floor!  Now, these were babies, maybe 16-17 months old at most.  When the woman returned the baby was crying and reaching for her.  She comforted the child and asked why she was crying.  The man just said that she *dropped* her crayons on the floor, did not mention that he had hit her in the head.  I was so tempted to turn around and say, *and he smacked her in the head for dropping them too*, but I didn't.  No one said anything, although there were several other people in the vicinity. 


How would you have handled the same situation?  You just never know what kind of reaction you'll get when you say something to someone.  I'd have hated for the woman to go off on us and start screaming or something, much less the mean ole man.  I feel bad for the babies.  What, in hindsight, should we have done, in your opinion?


Then, they can widen the road by allowing God to come into their lives!
g
It was the OWNERS' fault for allowing the dog to run loose.
The fact that you didn't see him and ran over him was an accident. That accident wouldn't have occurred if those people had been responsible dog owners and kept him in a securely fenced yard.
Sounds like you handled it just fine
especially pointing out that Suzie probably felt the same as she did by being left out. That's all you can really do. You could probably bring it up again in a day or two once she isn't upset about it, but kids will eventually take in the finer points of friendship by observing the adults in their lives. I'm sure MIL was only trying to help make DD feel better and didn't realize that there was a life lesson in play.
Sounds like you handled it "just right". nm
x
I totally agree in the way they have handled this. sm
Everyone there knows he is guilty, but yet they keep letting him walk away, probably because he said his dad was a lawyer. Do you think his story was truthful? I feel it partially was, but I do think there are parts he left out. Like why did she go into convulsions? Was it alcohol poisoning or was it from trauma? Why did he feel the need to cover up what happened if it was truly like he says? Why did he call his "friend" rather than emergency help? Why did he destroy his shoes? I think the "friend" he called was his dad who is an attorney and he took care of it for him.
LMAO! Nicely handled.
xx
Yep, you should be mad. They took advantage of you. But now
s
Advantage
I called 1-800-petmeds in the past. I got free shipping and was pleased with the service/pricing.
You are definitely being taken advantage of
You're not wrong.  You have every right to be mad.  I would tell hubby that either his buddy comes and gets the dogs, and doesn't do this to you again, or next time your husband can stay home and take care of them.  It's one thing to take care of your own, but 5 more is a lot to feed and clean up after.  I think his friend is taking advantage of both of you and your husband is being wayyyy to nice about it.  By the way, where I live the going rate of a kennel is about 25-30 dollars a night per dog.  Maybe you should bill his buddy?  Good luck. 
You can only be taken advantage of if
you allow it yourself. Don’t be a rug for her or anyone else for that matter. It is your home, grow a backbone and tell her what you have said here, just so upsetting to you and the only way these visits can happen is if she stays at the hotel. You should not put yourself out for her if war is going to continue in your own home. If you cannot tell her what you have said here, then I guess Auntie will continue to visit like she has all along.
Then learn how to use my tax dollars to the best advantage
p
Anna Nichole is still being taken advantage of, even in
death with her supposedly beloved, yeh right, Howard Stern who now I hear has sold the rights for her funeral to Entertainment Tonight for 3+ million. Why am I not shocked by this? Hearing complaints from other news services unable to get any kind of story at all, all involved - her mother, her former boyfriend Larry and her baby daddy (supposedly) Howard others think are being paid $$$ not to talk but exclusively to ET. Heard Fox news just say they do not pay for stories, well I guess some are not that honorable.
Advantage for cats/fleas

Has anyone found a source for purchasing Advantage at a very good price? I have 7 inside cats and 4 outside. I would be willing to buy this in bulk if the price was more reasonable.


Also, has anyone used something other than Advantage with good luck.


Thank you.


People who don't have trust issues will take advantage of it.
nm
I use Advantage 9 for my smallish kitties. I didn't think - sm
I needed flea-treatments since they are both 100% indoor-only cats living in an apartment, but every few months to a year,they'd suddenly become infested. It happened with my past cat, too. I finally figured out what was happening.

It was ALWAYS after I'd been away for a while, and the pet-sitter came to take care of them, which included grooming, etc. She's not uncleanly or anything, but she does take care of a LOT of animals all over town, because that's her livelihood. So obviously one or more of her clients had a flea problem, and it only takes one to jump from that animal, to the pet-sitter, to one of my cats to start the problem all over again.

So NOW, I apply Advantage before planning to leave them with anyone, and that seems to do the trick.
Ah, that is sorta taking advantage of a restaurant
in fact might border on theft. I don’t think quirky, would be embarassing to me to have your family heist any and everything they could when going out. Do they go out other times or just on a special occasion? Rather than run the risk of someone in management asking me to pay for their "treats," think I probably might make them a dinner at home, then you could make sure to tie down anything valuable to you.
Someone putting that many demands on a gift is taking advantage of you, and you are letting them. nm
x
Looking to quit my job.
I had recently 2 weeks ago barrowed $2500 from my 401k in order to make ends meet during the holiday season.  I am unhappy with my current employer and would like to look for another job but they say that if I leave before that loan is paid off then I will have 3 months to pay it back (i cannot) or I have to pay tax penelties.  Well my question is,would it go on this years taxes or next years taxes if I quit before 12/31 
I have never taken anything to help me quit, but (sm)
I have quit several times for years at a time, and I always did it cold turkey.  The only way I got through it was because I TRULY WANTED TO QUIT.  Is it possible that they really don't WANT to quit, they just THINK THEY SHOULD?  This may not make sense to a nonsmoker, but that is the point I am at now.  I know I should quit, just don't want to, and I don't believe I would no matter what I took.  It's a mindset, I think.
Then just keep doing what you are doing and quit
complaining and live with it.
Quit your job -


But I wonder how many people REALLY quit going
to these stores. I know my SIL never quit WalMart even though she was devastated because "they" (whoever they are) were taking Christmas away from her. Seems like a lot of talk but not a lot of ACTUAL action.
will you quit attacking - I never said....sm

I never said anything bad about Koreans or him being Korean - you have no idea who you are typing at on this board...I am so not racist and so tolerant but you'd have no clue about that. 


At the time I posted it was a 23-y/o Korean THE DETAILS of the details of who did the shooting had not hit the newswires UNTIL THEN.


Please get over yourself.


 


Quit tripping
I hate no one but I sure dislike him quite a bit. If you read my post correctly, I said HE wanted Iraq to share the oil, that means we do not have, correct?? Useless conflict, lost lives, another Viet Nam and might as well cut your losses and leave. Over 2000 years of unrest in that land and the US is supposed to change. Ha! I for one am so glad about the standoff being him and the senate with him being unable to afford his war anymore.
Yep, me. I quit my hospital job sm
to work at home just because I got tired of some mean people in the office complaining I was always in the bathroom. Like I really wanted to be there.
I quit 3 months ago!
I feel great! I can even be around others and not have a craving. I am just starting to be bothered by the smell.

GOOD LUCK! YOU CAN DO IT!!
Quit nitpicking

Isn't this one place we can type without worrying about doing something ridiculous like making a typo or a spelling error????  I sometimes get more anxiety about posting on here because everyone nitpicks it to death with the spelling and grammar I about hyperventilate.   Most of these messages are typed out so fast and in between files, that it is how it is.  Give people a break and remember people in glass houses should not throw stones.    Have a good day. Bet it makes you feel superior to be the first one that posted and pick apart her message.


By the way I have only used Stedmans and love it. 


You know what will happen if we all quit
There will have to be money coming from somewhere to replace the tax revenue lost if all of us wicked smokers just up and quit (or died, whichever!). They already decided we could do without the transfats and took those away from our McFrys; Salmonella risk caused many places to get rid of genuine cesar salads because of the raw eggs; and some places have banned pate. They may start slowly hitting the US consumer with a Twinkie tax- $1/pack, $10/carton. Those McFrys, even without the transfat we knew and loved) will have a $0.10 surcharge each (eek, I can't afford to supersize anymore), and I'm afraid that it will take a mortgage if I want to get that Chantilly Lace cake from the bakery.

Fat people and smokers- the last two groups that it's okay to make fun of in this country, and dang if I ain't both!
How come she quit this one? I miss her, too. -nm

My father quit at 65...........sm
after practically a lifetime of heavy smoking. He started when he was just a boy, which was common back in the 1920s. He quit at 65 and lived for 20 years before being diagnosed with lung cancer. Of course, we have no way of knowing how long he had it because he never really had any symptoms until about 6 months prior to his death. His cancer was found on a chest x-ray for pneumonia. It was inoperable as it was behind the heart and could barely be seen over the top of the heart when he had the x-ray.

I thought his death would make me stop smoking, but it hasn't. I have smoked for about 25 years now and I know I should stop but I haven't found the will power yet.
first, quit the guilt
If you have been burned by someone repeatedly, and they still want you around, they have to be open to your verification to gain your trust. He doesn't respect you enough to get help and stick with it, as he has proven repeatedly, so why should he be surprised if you want reassurance of his activities. If he doesn't want to change, then there is nothing you can do to make him. You have to decide if it is really worth hanging on. Is life apart from him really that much worse than with him? I would advise you to see if there is anyone you can talk to who is an expert on addiction and those who live with addicts (you didn't say whether you have a counselor available or maybe a support group). FWIW, I've been there, and I would never give a man as many chances as you have. It is your life. Reclaim it for yourself!

My point is that the e-mail check is not what you should worry about. How his problems affect your life/sanity/sense of self is what you should focus on.

Good luck!
I took it to quit smoking...
and can't say that I noticed any effects whatsoever, except that it did help me quit smoking.
Quit assuming...
You have no idea what you're talking about.
Quit concerning yourself with "normal." sm
What works for one couple is completely irrelevant to what works for another couple.
It only matters what is comfortable between the 2 people in the relationship.
Every single person has a unique preference of what is the right amount for themself, and we're lucky to find someone we're compatible with in that manner. Some idea of "normal" shouldn't be your gauge.
It doesn't matter if my husb and I only do it once a month if that's all we feel like doing. I don't care that anybody is doing it 3 times per day. It's irrelevent to my relationship.

Quit being so sensitive...nm
x
Also quit with Chantix

I smoked over a pack a day for about 20 years.  October 2007, I starting taking it.  I took the first 3 weeks out of the 1 month pack and went in for a hysterectomy and stopped taking Chantix after that, but never started back up again. 


My husband, smoked 2 packs a day for at least 20 years, also took Chantix for 1 month and has stopped smoking.  He quit last January (14 months ago).


I did get VERY depressed on this medication and often had thoughts of suicide.  This went away after 3 months of not being on the medication but it was a horrible experience.  I think they now prescribe an antidepressant to take along with the Chantix. 


All I know is I could not have done it without them.  I love not being a smoker and cannot stand the smell of it anymore. 


GOOD LUCK!


So just quit charging when
you pay them off, but don't 'close' it?
Oooh! One more and then I'll try to quit

I used to work in a convenience store about 20 years ago and one time this guy walked in.  He was a -regular-.  Anyway, he walked right inside the door, looked down at his muddy boots and proceeded to knock the dried mud off right there in front of the cash register.  It flew everywhere.  Clumps all over the place.  And then he just kept walking.  I always wondered if he did that at home, too.


People can be so oblivious!


hey - please quit feeding the troll....Thanks!
.
one lady quit over my list
she was offended and said she knew how to do her job. I was a little upset at the moment and said if I was good enough to pay on time and tip consistently why could I expect my cleaning to be consistent.

Oh well my house is dirty I am exhausted and I will spend my day off trying to get caught up and start back still exhausted.
Quit cold turkey because
admitted to the hospital with asthma exacerbation and put on theophylline. That is probably the worst thing ever, sped me up, no sleeping, sweating and I swore if I could get out of the hospital never again. That was 1998 and not 1 cigarette after then. I hated the theophylline more than I loved the cigarettes. What I thought would be outpatient treatment in the emergency room that day changed into a 2 week stay. I was put on prednisone and gained 26 lbs in 2 weeks, horrible. If a doctor now says prednisone, I said what is my second choice? I am remarried and thank goodness stopped the smoking, this hubby is so much against it. I never, though, call anyone else down on their habit if they smoke because I have been there myself.
My hubby quit 3 years ago.
He is sooooo glad. At his dad's funeral recently he had a pack of tissues in his pocket. His brother in law thought it was a pack of cigs for a second. That was one light momement on a tough day.

Margaret's list idea is great; I've used that for other things.

Replacement activities are good too ... having a new thing you do, like a walk at lunch, or drinking chamomile tea or something new and different to help mark the change in your life.

And it will be like you gave yourself a raise! You could start keeping track of how much you are saving and use it for vacations or clothes or whatever treat you'd most like.

(That would be plants for me).

:oD


Quit worrying about what everyone else got or gets their kids. sm
MOST of it is on credit, trust me. Credit, credit, credit. Most Americans don't even have a savings acct (from something I read on line), so you know they aren't paying cash. Who cares what all the other kids get? I hate trying to keep up with the Joneses. It's so dumb.
Should I just quit answering the phone at all?
My children are grown and out of the home. I was on my cellphone today talking long distance, my daughter calls on my land phone and I answered. I have caller ID but did not put on my specs so could not tell who it was, just answered. I don’t get that many calls, mostly people selling things. Anyway, noticed she seemed out of sorts, in a curt voice telling me to call her back. When I finished I called back and asked her what was her problem. She tells me I sounded like I was angry, upset or whatever. I have told her repeatedly- if you think I am upset- ask me and I will tell you- that does not happen- she just assumes that. I told her she and her brother will never know me, never as they both assumed the same (I am estranged from her brother) Her brother used to tell me to "calm down" and I again and again and again said not upset and then that would tick me off that he continued to say that.  My children are in their 30s and 40s- I have been married to my present husband now for 8 years (although I have known him 25+) and he knows me much better than they ever did. Any suggestions? Should I just disconnect the phone? Should I let everything come on answering machine?? My pet peeve in life is to be accused wrongly and yet it continues with her. I guess could let answering machine pick it up for a few weeks and I guess that would worry the heck out of her then ----- or maybe not?
Scared to quit smoking - sm

I have another friend who quit smoking 3 years ago and now has lung cancer.  I know (and have heard of) many people who quit (ACS can tell you how your lungs supposedly improve and risk of lung cancer death diminishes compared to the general population) smoking only to be diagnosed with lung cancer after several years.  This IS NOT a mental excuse for me not to quit.  It really does frighten me.  Been a smoker for 30 years.  Seems worthless to fight to quit and die, or just keep smoking and die.  Anyone have any thoughts?  I have no one affected by my second-hand smoke.


I did Curves for about 2 yrs, but quit due to surgery a yr ago sm
I had GREAT success with Curves, which I did along with Weight Watchers - I lost 72 inches in total body measurements and almost 75 lb. CURVES ROCKS and now that I've recovered from my hip / knee surgeries, I'm going to rejoin.

Anyway, I know they've changed someone but their core competency is the circuit training, no treadmills or other equipment. You really don't need the treadmill either, because the stations between equipment are for walking / jogging in place.
Quit wondering- she made it there
really late around 10:30 or so, after she had finished her final show in NYC and flew to California to join him. I have seen the pictures of them there.
Just quit being the hater, more people might like you.
My original post - I think most hear read and understand English very well-states what the association does not allow. If you read something into that as being snotty, it is all on you, not on me. Sorry, dont even own a pair of panties, much less granny ones. I will just say bless your heart as you seem to need that.