I had a similar situation but not exact...sm
Posted By: Ruby on 2007-04-11
In Reply to: Self-employed/IC and buying a house? - sm
when we bought our house 2 years ago. I had to have my office sign something of that nature, but not saying I would still be working there after so much time like yours. I faxed the form letter to them and they faxed it back for my broker's records to give to underwriter. I also had to provide my 1099s from the previous 2 years. On the day of the closing, we had to sit there and wait for them to call my office one more time just to make sure I still worked there, which they didn't do with my husband. It seemed to be a pretty strict procedure but can understand why they would. We also refinanced about 8 months after moving to get a better rate, but didn't have any problems because we used the same broker. Good luck!
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Wow! exact same situation! (sm)
Same here. Exactly the same.
Wow - same exact situation
Don't tell me... has your husband been out of work too and laying around doing absolutely NOTHING to help out around the house?
I have a friend in this exact same situation with
her mother. There were 3 of them and they all took turns staying at her house for 2 nights at a time. That way she was happy and no one was doing all the work. They were also lucky in that one of the grandkids could stay during the day with her or, when they couldn't they have a caregiver p.r.n. The only other compromise would be to sit down and talk to his doctor and have him tell your dad that he is no longer able to live by himself and that he needs to be in one of your homes or in an ECF. Maybe coming from his doctor, it would be more effective.
I certainly can relate! We have the exact same situation!
Especially since our son started working for my husband, he never has to leave the house. We're back to back in our office. Sometimes I say it's better when we're fighting because I get more work done. When we're in a good mood, and gab too much!
similar situation
I had a similar situation not too long ago with my mother in law. Everyone thought because I worked at home I could take my mother in law to her doctor appointments and grocery shopping and anything else she needed to do. I informed everyone that I started a job with a new transcription company and I could no longer come and go as I please during the day. I told them I am logged on to the new company's computer starting at 8 AM until 4 PM every day, and I have to be there when work comes through or the company would know I was gone and I would lose my job. It really has worked. No one bugs me during the day anymore. They finally think I have a "real job". 
A similar situation (sm)
I also read your post from below and now I feel compelled to respond. My sister went through a very similar situation. She has always been overweight and her ex-husband married her that way. He gave her grief in the entire relationship about her weight, threatened divorce, the whole bit. He, too, was very picky about how the house was kept, how his meals were prepared, etc. Like you, she did what she could to make him happy, but it never seemed to be enough. It seemed the more he ragged her about losing weight, the heavier she got. He just couldn't understand that (he never had a weight issue). They separated at one point, she moved out, only to move back in several months later to try to make things work. Guess what...it didn't work. She finally made the decision to leave for good, now she is remarried and very happy. And she is still overweight but her current husband doesn't mind (he's heavy too!). I saw my sister spend many years unhappy and it is so good to see her happy now. She and her first husband didn't have children together, but her current husband has two sons that she absolutely loves.
I know the thought of divorce must be extremely scary, and I know there are children involved. But you need to be happy, and your children need you to be happy and healthy. It doesn't sound like things are going to change in your situation. I think you know you have been there long enough to figure that out. You need to do what is best for you and your kids, and if your husband can't accept and love you for who you are, then he doesn't deserve to be with you. Just my opinion!
Best of luck to you. Keep us posted on what you decide to do!
I am going through a similar situation...
My husband said the same things about me. He left 2 years ago, then cried and came back saying he made a huge mistake. He tried to be happy for the last 2 years and a month ago, left me and our 3 kids again. He was never happy. He said he did not feel anything for me except contempt basically that I have kept him from doing the things he wants to do, fish, hunt, etc. He says he will always feel a fondness for me and the time that we were happy and the fact that we have 3 wonderful kids, but he cannot be happy with me. If he does not like who you are, then let him go. Or you go, whatever you need to do. Especially since he hit you. That is one thing you should not let go. My husband never hit me, but he was getting to the point that he hated me. I still love him, but I think the best thing for us is to not be together anymore. He is being selfish (my hubby and yours). Go, and find someone someday that will love you the way you are, flaws and perfection. That is the hope that is keeping me going, that there is still someone out there who will treat us like the goddesses we are. Hang in there!! You can do it. It will not be easy or happy, but in the long run, you will probably be better off.
my situation is very similar...
i was about 40 lb overweight, didn't want to go on a 'diet' or give up my food types. I started walking 30-45 min x5 days a week which helps tremendously. I joined CalorieKing.com ($55.) a year, and did not change my food types (hardly). but i log my foods eaten/exercise on line and it calculates my calories consumed/spent. (also gives nutrient breakdown). Its been less tedious and i've lost 13 lb (3 months incl holidays!) and not trying real hard. The website has lots of helpful information and is very educational. It has helped me. I've lost inches and have fit into a smaller size jeans already. I forget for sure, but believe there is a 30-day money back guarantee (or ?less days). Might check into it. p.s. i saw results in 2 weeks as i recall.
Similar situation
Fights/arguments are coming more and more often. Split our checking account/bills up several months ago. When others ask me why I stay, I always say because of our son (7 years old). Funny thing is, husband travels a lot and my son told me just yesterday how much he enjoys it when it is just him and I. So, maybe I'm just too chicken!
My situation was very similar (SM)
except that I had such low self esteem I did stay and periodically it would happen again. I was scared to leave him because I had no family or support system to go to and had children with him. Looking back I wish I had left after the very first event but it took a long time for me to get the courage and the self respect. We are now divorced.
It's a tough decision particularly if you have children. How is he if you argue with him? Does he respect you? Lots of factors to take into consideration before you decide what to do, but I'd agree with trusting your gut.
Similar situation here
My aunt is 86, so vibrant, did all her housework, cooking, etc. Fell and broke her hip about 2 1/2 years ago and really threw her for a loop. After rehab she continued to do her own shopping although on a walker, cane occasionally. I talked to her about someone close by her to assist her and she would not listen to me. When she told me she had fell 3 times (once getting groceries in) I made appt with her doctor's office. They told me unable to talk with me- I said they did not have to - just listen and makes notes of what I had to say. I traveled out of town, met with the office manager, told them all I wanted them to know, told them this was her favorite doctor and named why she came there and lo and behold, the next visit that month with the physician he told her it was time for her to get help, maybe assisted living or with a relative, she should not be living alone anymore. She almost worships this doctor. That was last month. This month she is moving to be with her son and his wife who will provide the care she needs. There are ways to take care of things like this. I know.
I had a similar situation
5 years ago on Christmas eve I got online to find that $5K was missing from my checking acount. (oh yeah, nice christmas gift) I then got on to check my credit cards and noticed an amount for under $30 had been charged at some restaurant in a different state, and someone made an online purchase to Sears for a purchase of about 1400. Luckily bank refunded my money in 24 hours (I had proof I was never in the state - luckily the bank where the withdrawal was made had cameras, and the teller who let the woman withdraw $5000 without putting a cash hold for 48 or 72 hours or whatever she was supposed to do was fired. Credit card was cancelled and new one issues and of course investigation started.
It's getting more and more frustrating how many criminals are out there. Don't get discouraged though, it's not your fault. As they say sh!t happens. I've got some more criminal stories to tell, but got to run for now. Will post more later about some scams going on.
I am in a very similar situation (sm)
if you want to talk please email me - pmic9999@yahoo.com
My daughter going through a similar situation
and her attorney told her not to allow the child to take anything from home to his place and not to allow the child in the door with anything from his place. This all began quite innnocently when my daughter - Mom- kept sending favorite doll with her daughter and 9 times out of 10 the father would forget to bring back with her causing huge bedtime problems, etc., and lots of stress on the family as he did not drive - and the burden fell to his mother to bring the favorite doll back over and you can imagine the stress. So - the attorney decided nothing leaves the house with her and nothing comes back in - it put a stop to the slurpees and garbage Dad was sending home with her right away!! Best of luck.
Well, have a granddaughter, similar situation
never hear from her, in same town, no calls, no visits. She graduated high school this year- I got invite - did not go, my gift nada. Why should I put myself out if others don’t seem to care about me??
similar situation a while back....sm
I blew a fit years ago and just told my husband that I'd rather be consulted about any plans than to be informed after the fact considering we're in this relationship until death do us part....(a cleaver unto thy husband came to mind, but that was cancelled by the thou shalt not kill clause). Yeah, I was hot, but he got the message and we've lived happily ever after.  Cat
My neice had a similar situation....
My vet and hers said feed her what she will eat and that there was nothing wrong with boiled chicken, veggies, etc., and add a vitamin to her diet. Many animals are fed "people" food as their daily diet and are perfectly healthy. In this case, you are trying to sustain her health until her mom gets home. My vet believes most dry foods on the shelves aren't healthy. I try to buy Royal Canin or Pet Promise foods but they do cost more.
I just recently got out of a similar situation
Although it had many other fatal flaws in it, one of them was the fact that the majority of the shoulders he cried on were either women he had once had relationships with or women who wanted to have relationships with him. These were the women that when we had a fight, he would call the second I was out the door. I hate to say that single men and single women can't be friends, this was always just something that made me uncomfortable. Maybe it was intuition, maybe it was just my own insecurity. He denied there was anything to it...just friends he said...in the past he said...until he ended up inviting one of them to a BBQ he and some friends were having (he needed someone to pick up some beer because it started before I could get there). Her chin hit the floor when I showed up and he swooped me up and planted one on me. After she attempted several well-aimed barbs my direction for a few hours in the afternoon, she finally could hold back no longer and unleashed her venom on him....telling him that she had assumed she was his date for the BBQ and wondering what I was doing there.
To a degree, I do believe him that he had no romantic interest in these women- they were ego strokers for when we were fighting to reaffirm his manhood. However, he also drank to excess, so I always worried just how much stroking his ego (and other things) might accept with active enticement. Of course, the BBQ wench was just one of many, and between his femmes and the unholy alliance/reliance he has with his drunk-azz cousin, after a year and a half I could take no more, grabbed up my dogs, and headed home to Normalville.
So congrads to your DD. While she may hurt now, believe me when I say that it would have gotten no better and ended up totally messing with her own self-esteem.
Similar situation....(long and babbling, lol)
My sister's neighbor got into a heated argument with his wife, which caused her to leave the house with their small children. She called 911 from her cell phone and asked if they could dispatch an officer to do a well-check on her husband. I should point out my sister lives in a rural area with everyone on 5-acre parcels of land, so she neither heard the argument nor saw the responding PO show up to talk to Jerry.
She did, however, hear a huge shotgun blast in the early evening but, being in a rural area with rattlesnakes, etc., didn't think much about it.
The wife came home the next day and fortunately was ahead of her children when she entered her house and the first thing she saw was what was left of her husband. He had apparently used a deer rifle to take himself out shortly after the PO had left the night before.
When the area was released by the authorities after their investigation, she had some family members go in and pack up her things. I don't believe she ever went back into the house herself. She immediately listed it for sale.
A few months later, a new owner was in the home, having relocated to the area after a 'personal tragedy' in another town. During the course of doing yard work one day, one of the neighbors stopped by to chat. In the course of conversation, this neighbor brought up Jerry and how he had suicided in the house.
The new owner was horrified. As it turns out, the 'personal tragedy' they had moved away from was that their own son, who was about the same age as Jerry, had also committed suicide via gunshot in their home. They had no idea about the history of their new home or that just a few months before the previous owner had taken his own life in their new abode.
There was talk of suing the real estate company/agent for lack of disclosure (this happened in CA), but I don't know whatever became of it. The new owners immediately relisted the home when they found out its history and apparently left the area.
Since there was talk of a lawsuit and settlements, I'm assuming CA must have that disclosure law as well.
While I'm not sure knowing a suicide had occurred in a home I was interested in purchasing would dissuade me, I'd still like all of the information above board and out in the open so I could make an informed decision. I think we should all be entitled to that.
Not chastising you, or someone in a similar situation. It's the people who abuse the system by ly
about their under the table income, assets, shiny new car/S, high def tvs, etc., etc. et cetera.....
Similar situation, my hubby drives 1 hr 45 mins to work from house and sm
he suggested 2 nights a week staying at a hotel that his company would pay for if the company apartment was full. I say company apartment "lightly" as it is a room above the office and just has bed, AC window unit. At first I was hesitant but then I drove it one way in the morning and again in 5 o'clock traffic and said you must be nuts! He gets up at 4:30 am to be at work by 6:30.
Not sure of exact recipe, but here: (sm)
Scoop out seeds & gunk of a pie pumpkin, keeping lid to use later. Use apple slices, raisins /cranberries/other dried fruit, walnuts (or other nuts of your choice) to fill pumpkin along with brown sugar, butter, and a little cinnamon. Bake at 450 degrees until you can easily poke through the pumpkin flesh inside. You may want to wait and put the lid in partway through baking, so it doesn't dry out and shrink. Serve in the pumpkin, and as people spoon out a little of the filling they can scrape the inside of the pumpkin to get some of the flesh.
My grandma made this, and she never writes down her recipes. So when I asked her, she said to experiment with whatever, so the above is really only a loose guideline.
Same exact feeling here.
The extreme Christians also changed my feelings a long time ago. I then started researching the facts and theories, scientific versus religion. And did you know that many people with above-average intelligence are not religious based on this knowledge? Interesting stuff. :)
I am having the exact same problem!
I've battled depression and anxiety my whole life. My psychiatrist seems to think it is anxiety as well, but I know what my anxiety is like and this is different. My PCP thinks I might have ADD, but my psychiatrist said it would not all of the sudden appear. My anxiety medicine seems to help some, but then I feel out of it. I cannot work like that either!
Let me know what your doc says. Good luck! :)
I have those exact same dreams...
I was once told that the teeth falling out had something to do with money, don't know exactly what but I certainly have not had a windfall.
Have you said those exact words
to him, asked him outright what is the problem and how you can BOTH enjoy it? Or..guide his hands and/or touch him the way you want. Otherwise I'd say he doesn't care and maybe you should move on.
My friend is doing the exact same thing!
She uses her age (38) a lot but if you use words like "uterine prolapse" and "fibroid tumors" they stop asking questions...LOL
I was thinking the same exact thing.
The kid didn't have to go to school in Korea to have been taught those same beliefs. His parents could have had that same influence over him or perhaps his own interests in it.
Obviously a person who could do something like that is very disturbed and probably had a lot of issues at home, etcetera, but the other cannot be ruled out either as playing some small role.
No, she did not send me the exact thing,
did not know I would have to explain, she sends me rah-rah-rah all for the war type things which I delete. I choose to read other things instead of this.
My husband had the EXACT same thing (sm)
and yes, it was a fungal infection. I tried treating it with OTC cream but it just didn't work. Finally our NP gave us a prescription for cream called clotrimazole and betamethasone diproprionate 1%/0.05% (Lotrisone) and within 4-5 days it was completely cleared up. She did recommend Gold Bond as a preventative but he never used it. He's a diabetic to boot, so is always going to be prone to various skin issues I guess...bummer.
Awesome! I would have done the same exact thing!
Way to go! You did the right thing!
This house has no fence around it at all, to be exact. nm
,
I have the exact opposite of anorexic
I am overweight, 5Ɗ and weigh 218 as of this morning. The problem I have is when I look in the mirrow I do not really see me as being grossly overweight, in fact I think oh for your age you look alright. Is there anyone else that looks in the mirror and does not see what you actually are- oh no remarks about getting a new mirror, this is from several I have in the house. I have actually seen surprised before when seeing a picture of myself and basically thinking do I look like that? Thanks!
Exact thing happened to me .. sm
but it was not a family member, it was a coworker of my ex-husband's whose wife had just had a baby and they wanted clean carpets. He had borrowed the cleaner once previously, and all was fine, so I had no problems with letting him borrow it a second time. Well, the second time, he was really slow in returning it, but like you, I never said anything until I wanted to use it and asked for it back. Then all of a sudden, it was *broke*. He said he had broken the upright handle completely off. Well, I had paid over 300 dollars for that, so we asked him to at least pay for half of replacement. He did so, but HE wanted to choose what type of cleaner I got to replace it, which was a much cheaper model. I said no. Needless to say, we were no longer friends after that. In my opinion, you just can't let this go. Carpet shampooers are not cheap and if she broke it, she should pay for at least half of a replacement. Tell her that. She knows she is responsible for it, but she will probably become angry, so it is up to you how far you want to push it. Again, though, I do not loan out anything like that to anyone any more. If they need to clean their carpets, they can pay for a rental unit, just like I did prior to buying my own. No one takes care of your items better than you. Good luck to you.
OMG ~ I've been saying those exact words! sm
Not the OP but thank you so much for asking this question. I was wondering the same thing. But this poster hit it on the nail for me. I also have lost all care when it comes to holidays, gifts, b-days, etc. I get him nodda as I get in return. Don't even care if he goes to any activities with me or not. Better off not having him there. Guess it is time for me to MOVE ON......
Now my question is how do you survive without a companion? I have always felt like I had to have somebody no matter how they treated me. I envy those single people who stay single.
My cockatiel does the exact same thing but
you can definitely tell she is mine cause she also loves to go for my diamond earrings. She actucally got one back into her cage once before we found it. It is hard to tell the sex of a bird like that unless you "ahem, look inside" and I told her (a her in my mind) that we if she swallowed my earring we would find out very soon the exact sex.
My daughter did the exact same thing.
and still does on occasion. (She was 4 years old the first time and is 6 years old now.) The last time, she cut a big chunk out of one side of her bangs all the way to the scalp. Luckily, she looks good in hats.
Your very best bet to disguise the damage is probably some sort of pixie style hair cut. It will also be easy to keep it looking decent while it grows back out.
I found a bunch of sites by searching for hair cutting guide. Hopefully you kind find one you like that will show you how to do a camouflaging pixie.
Here are a couple I came across:
http://www.hairfinder.com/techniques/shortpixiehaircut.htm
http://www.haircuttingguide.com/short.htm
Kristen Nicole to be exact. I love that. Or
x
Funny, that's my exact same story here in New York! sm
I'll believe it when I see it, too. Also, with the feds, we were supposed to get $1,200 back - the feds said there was a mistake in the filing and now we OWE $1,100. That's some mistake, but we can't find it, nor can the software company that we used!
Southerner too, and I have the exact opposite experience...
I put peanuts in my coke sometimes when I was a kid (at that time coke came in a small glass bottle), but not something I did all the time. It was okay...probably wouldn't enjoy it now. My dad did hunt and we did eat squirrel, rabbit, duck, deer, dove, quail pn occasion. These were not like what was for "dinner" but used when they would have a crowd over who liked those type of dishes. Gumbo (my favorite) also could be made with shrimp, duck, squirrel, turkey whereas the quali and dove were used for stew-like dishes..and they were delicious. My mother made something called "Court bouillion" made with fish, like a red fish soup ...loved it, but do not know how to make it. My dad would have a fish fry every once in a while and have company over to enjoy it. For regular daily meals, we had the usual meats of beef, pork, chicken, etc. .For us, we had round steak and gravy often, of course, rice for the gravy. And also, our main meal was at "noon" whereas up north some have it at the meal we call "supper". Not to say that all southerners had their meal at "noon" . I also tire of the generalizations people make, but it's only human nature I guess. Also, in the south (Louisiana for me), we called "pop" a "cold drink" or "coke". Anyone want a "coke" or "cold drink"? Ok. What kind do YOU want, Dr. Pepper, RC, orange, etc. ? Funny, but that's the way it was. Anyone in the south remember Shipley donuts? Loved them! They literally melted in your mouth. Wonder if they are still in business. To me, they were a smidge better than Krispy Kreme, but very close. In the South, we called the coin-operated laundry a "washateria", up north it's the "Laundromat". Fun reminiscing.
Ok, needing answers about furkids - baths to be exact
I have 2 boys- 1 has been bathed here recently and knows the ropes- he has a brother who is wild and hairy and has not had a bath in quite some time. Can anyone tell me- (and don’t tell me carefully!! ) how do you restrain a cat for a bath?
People that hurt dogs should be hurt themselves in the exact same way. I HATE sm
cruelty to animals.
These, or something similar?
http://www.sendliquor.com/id100234list42product.html?ovchn=OTHER&ovcpn=FindGiftWine&ovcrn=FindGiftWine&ovtac=PPC
http://www.redenvelope.com/re/gifts/product_display/product_information.jsp?nc=1&oid=20650259&pcd=PERFORMICS&mptc=BPER&src=clickserve.cc-dt&cm_ven=Performics&cm_cat=Affiliate&cm_pla=FindGift.com&cm_ite=DDI%20Link
http://www.sienajulia.com/cgi-bin/shop.pl/page=item.html/auto_id=5214/department=01/category=01027/page_number=1
I can't vouch for any of this stuff, these are three items that came up when I searched findgift.com with "Spanish" as a search term and narrowing with "wine".
Good luck!
I had a similar but now use sm
Wolfgang Puck's open face grill, buy on HSN.com. 1200 watts, get to 550 degrees. You can actually GRILL a hamburger or steak. The Foreman ones only kind of steam food, very inadequate.
Something similar here sm
I also live in a small town and we have many Indian docs and they usually bring relatives here and to run hotels and motels they have purchased. I know of one family that did this 25 years ago. A Comfort Inn right up the road from us is owned/operated by an Indian family that live in our neighborhood. Truely some of the nicest people I have ever met.
OMG! I was going to say something similar... sm
Same timeframe and same team, but off by 2 years in age. Unfortunately, my brother was home from Penn State and I gave him my Game 6 ticket. After all these years, I still slap myself on the forehead when I think about that. I was in Philly with the other million or so revelers the next day, though!
I'm doing something similar..
I live in Florida also and am planning a little weekend gettaway for myself. I know it sounds weird, but this way there will be no computer and absolutely no way I can be conned into working. I picked a fairly cheap little resort place that is right on the beach. It's not very fancy, but it has a kitchen. I want to wake up and hear the water and see the sunset at night. I did spend a little more to get a place that had more of a private beach so it would be a little quieter. Just think about the things you want to do and what is more important and then decide. Will you be at the beach more, or golfing more? Do you want more peace and quiet? Or do you want a place where kids can run around - if so golf course probably not a good idea.
Anyway, whichever you choose, have a great time!
I might have something similar
but do not really know your symptoms well. I sleep on elevated pillows (and people also told to elevate the head of their bed with reflux), know which foods bring on this such as coffee, chocolate, spicy, white rice for me, and some cereals but 1 thing I will say, the gastroesophageal reflux disease symptoms are not to be taken lightly. An ongoing problem with this can cause esophageal cancer, Barrett's esophagus is a precursor to this. I would do any and all I could to make sure this is under control.
I went through something similar...
Except not on me, on my son, who I think was like 4 or 5 at the time. They wanted to put a white filling in a baby tooth, and make me pay the extra for it. So glad I didn't let them, found another dentist who put in a silver one and shortly thereafter, the tooth came out. So sorry this happened to you, but unfortunately you'll probably do more harm than good by not paying the full amount, cause they will try to ruin your credit.
maybe similar
i keep getting toe pains in one that is almost crampy-like, and really slows my steppin'. it comes and goes. I'm just afraid its arthritis, but haven't been checked...is yours crampy? would like to know if you get it figured out.
I tried something similar with my cat.
I just wanted her to stay on the deck though She did really good for about a year and then slowly stated creeping down the stairs and eventually started jumping over the side to go on a bigger adventure. Going over the side was when we had to stop letting her go out because she was so quick about it. At first we used a harness and leash and then a water bottle and would squirt her when she came to the edge and that worked very well. We just had to be out with her.
I have also seen cat runs in magazines before. They are long tubular shaped cages or enclosures (not always metal) and some you can even put up to window height so you can leave the window open or add a door so they can go freely when they like. I am not certain where I have seen it but it was one of those magazines that are full of stuff that no one really needs but make great Christmas/Birthday presents for people who have everything. lol I'm sure you could find them on the internet somewhere.
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