I feel your pain...s/m
Posted By: Same boat on 2008-06-16
In Reply to: Custody-how much say does an 11-year-old have? PLEASE HELP - Scared mom
My 7-year-old has asked me several times if we could "move away from daddy". It's hard when you are at a crossroads and your situation sounds a lot like mine. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you and your child!
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I feel your pain
It is the same way here. My husband is disabled and could help some with my youngest, but does not. It is up to me to do it all. My MIL used to "butt" in all the time, but thankfully that has stopped. I have a teenager who could also help and does not. Ironically I live with 3 others in my home and I have never felt so alone. There are days my DH will take his disabilty out on me and it is not right, but I don't have to walk in his shoes so I try to be understanding. Men will never be mothers. We surely do not get enough credit! We have to work 24/7 365 days a year. I know personally I work 6 days a week and my "day off" I spend cleaning, doing the errands ect. What day off??? I know it takes longer, but I stop and tend to my kids even when I am typing. It stinks, but a mom has to do what a mom has to do. I just know if I don't help my youngest no one else here will. It's sad, but true. That is why I am still working from home as a MT. Lord only knows what would happen if I weren't here. I pray things get better for you. I can relate to just how you feel. Take care of you!
I feel your pain here also..sm
My sister passed away back in Nov. after 12 yrs in a vegative state resulting from injuries in a car wreck. My mother had chosent have her cremated and wanted to have her ashes spread in the ocean since she was a "sungoddess" by secondary nature! She wanted to wait until the summer time. We are planning to do this about the 2nd week of July. I was thinking about releasing butterflies as a surprise for the family.
As previous poster said, you could also check parks in your local area and have a bench in a nice peaceful area dedicated to her with a plaque. Some parks allow that type of donation. Or, if you are near an ocean, maybe you could to a bench there.
I feel your pain!
I get these little tiny things that look like sugar ants...until they BITE! I have horrible reactions to their bites, much like fire ants. I, too, have cats, so I have to be careful spraying. I also rent, so that eliminates lawn service. Darn ants!!
I feel your pain (sm)
We have a similar (although not as serious) situation with my in laws. Thank God we have not had to face the kinds of issues you have, but it still hurts. My hubby is their only child, and they just don't care anymore. They were decent parents while he was growing up and in the past few years, and then about 18 months ago, bam! They act like they've been brainwashed.
I won't go into the details, but suffice to say that I'm finished trying to bridge gaps. It just is not worth it. We are going to make our own "family" from friends who actually like to spend time with us and give us support, and when good ol' mom and dad get to that point in their life when they have regrets or, more likely, get too old to wipe their own butts, well honey, that is why we have nursing homes in this country. The sad thing is that my parents are gone, have been for a long time, and I hate to see hubby lose his parents before they are even gone. However, it just is not worth it.
I think you did exactly what you needed to do, even if just to make yourself feel better for a while. It may not have been the most thoroughly thought out action in the world, but you have so much stress on you right now, I think that can be forgiven.
Good luck to you and your husband, and try to stay strong. You have enough to worry about without the in laws adding to it, so just pretend they don't exist for a while. Know that you are not alone, and that you can always vent here if you need to. We'll understand.
HC
I feel your pain
Boy do I ever know where you're coming from! I went on vacation with a bunch of girlfriends last July and I looked at the pictures and thought "who the heck let the elephant in the room!!!" It was horrible. I am going on vaca again with the same women in July and I have vowed to be at least a little bit better.
You do have to lose weight overall to get the double chin to go away. In extreme cases there are people like AL Roker who lost weight but not really much in his face. I'm betting you're not that extreme, though.
My sister and I started walking together three mornings a week. It's not much yet, but it's more than we were doing before, which was nothing. Find a walking partner and try to walk for 30 minutes several days a week and you'll see a change.
Good luck!
I feel your pain
You, my dear, have picked up a stray troll... There is a special place in heck for people who get their jollies torturing people. Just remember that YOU are normal, nice, and decent, and obviously a brilliant mother, and a troll magnet, as am I unfortunately!
Tomorrow is another day!
Love,
Regular troll victim
I feel your pain!
My mother-in-law sent my sone $2 for his birthday, not $20, $2, so what I did was add another $15 and got him a toy I knew he would love and told him it was from his grandma and grandpa. I then called and told them what they gave him. I didn't have grandparents growing up and although it is tempting to let him know what an a**hole his grandma is, it isn't going to do any good now and he will figure it out eventually on his own. Right now, I just want him to feel loved.
Yup, I feel your pain, not hard to
imagine at all as I have many of those on a daily basis
Honey, I feel your pain..
We have 5 friggin kids..THREE of which are teenagers and the oldest is almost 26 but going to college full-time so I have footing that bill along with all of his other bills he has acquired as an adult..Then, we have the almost 20-year-old daughter who is unable or just doesn't want to work..so we took her back out of the homeless spectrum and got her a home..which we are footing the bill for...Thus, is the reason mom has to work 2 FT jobs..So, my answer to our kids thinking they are EVER moving back home when we boot them out is this...We're buying a motor home when they're gone. On the back it will be named "Kid's Inheritance." Then, as we pull out of the driveway, and if we see them in the rearview mirror, we're hitting the gas!!! and it's like this.."kids, if you can catch us, you can move in, but we won't be doing the speed limit." How's that !!! As you know, as a parent, you have to spend your time laughing or you will just start bawling uncontrollably until they come haul you away.
I feel your pain! (See my posts to other threads above) nm
.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, i feel your pain nm
n
I feel your pain too, but not spending my money is not going to help you - nm
x
Yup, I feel your pain, but I solved things this year.
I bought myself a pair of boots I've been wanting forever, and a new purse, and a tennis bracelet - told him they were going to be from him to me. I bought 'em, wrapped 'em, and enjoyed them big time!! I deserved them! My DH means well, too, though just is clueless as well. Rather than sit and feel like crawling back in bed, this year I was right on the floor opening gifts with the rest of the bunch! Sometimes we women have to do what we have to do!
I feel your pain, been down that road many times over the years - sm
I am so sorry for what you are going through. You need to take her to the vet and let her go. That way she will not be suffering any longer and you will know you eased her pain. It sounds like it is time. Again, I have been through this many times over the years with my cats and it is hard each and every time. I will be wishing you all the best.
I feel your pain. I have a grown adult in my face 24/7.
The man needs a job.. He wants to be with me so he sits/lays behind me a lot of the day until I tell him to do something constructive like clean the house..his job.. As I tell him, you've been assigned a job description, now get on it. I will say that I wouldn't spend three or four hours arguing with him, he knows better. I'll knock his block off. :)
I feel your pain... sometimes I consider shaving my head!!! I just keep it short so as not to mess
nm
Cuz you're numbing your brain so you feel no pain! Flavored brandy
s
pain and not wanting pain is understandable cuz of medical reason
I mean come on, when he has pain somewhere, does he not want to do something? Seriously, is this a true medical pain problem? If it is, then anyone could understand.
Sorry...should be paint store not pain (maybe pain...hehe)
X
Sorry your MIL is a pain..
Sounds like you both need a time out from each other.
Pain
Can you use your hot keys instead of the foot pedal? That works for me.
Lilly
So sorry for your pain
and also for your daughter's pain.
Pain
Everyones pain threshholds are very different. I have had three children naturally and was up walking right after. I had my tubal and was able to go back to work the next day and never needed any of the pain pills that were prescribed.
However my little sister was laid up for almost a week after hers.
So what was easy for me might not be for you I would say speak to your physician he or she hopefully knows you well enough to knowledgeably tell you what to expect. Just be sure no matter what you have someone with you when you get home to give you a hand just in case it is more than you bargained for.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hopefully it will be uneventful and as painless as possible. Keep us updated.
Arm pain
Has anyone had this happen. I sometimes wake up and my right arm from the elbow to the top of the shoulder burns/aches....very bad and to the point I need to wrap it in a heating pad. The rest of the arm is not affected by pain but my fingers sometimes are a little clumsy especially when trying to type. This has happened around three times now over the past year. It lasts for a couple of hours and then it goes away. I guess it is nothing to worry about but it sure does hurt! Ouch. Just wondering what it could be and/or what causes it.
Oh believe me, there was PAIN!!
Terrible pain for three days straight, but the worst thing is my ortho glued these bite blocks in back of my top front teeth and NONE of my teeth touch! Imagine trying to eat anything but soup or yogurt! I am going to Vegas early June, and one of the main reasons I was going was to eat at some of those world-class restaurants. I'm hoping he will remove them just for the week of my trip, or it looks like I'll be having soup at Wolfgang Pucks...
Do you have a lot of pain?
Do you have fibroids? Have you had a colposcopy? when the doctor cuts out pieces of the cervix, can be done in the office, a little painful.
I had no symptoms, just 1 abnormal Pap and then got the diagnosis, so it was caught early.
I wish I could help you more. Are you seeing your doc soon? I would get in as soon as possible since you are so concerned.
Really bad rib pain, anyone else?
I am in the midst of going to first 1 and then the other. I am trying to work and sitting here with pain in the front and back - rib sections. What I am wondering, has anyone else been bothered with this? I have fibromyalgia but this fibro has never settled in ribs before- maybe it can, don’t know? No other symptoms at all (well besides ongoing pain with other places with the fibro) but not as severe and ongoing like this. Any one out there with similar and if so, what kind of treatment prescribed and so forth. Thanks!
SI pain and leg pain
I have pain in my knee, especially when I am resting in bed. I work for chiropractors and they gave me Biofreeze, that helps to a degree. Exercise also helps, they recommended some.
I would like to know what exercises you do. I know I need to lose at least 60 pounds myself, what do you suggest?
I have gone through the same pain
Some years ago, I had to have my tailbone removed. When I had the MRI it showed the tailbone had turned in the opposite direction, now try sitting on that for awhile! I also had severe arthritis in that area and a lot of pain. When they removed the coccyx it solved the problem, but now, many years since, I have had other problems, with 2 back surgeries and neck surgery, so I have a lot of pain. I too take pain meds, but before that I underwent PT, injections, et cetera, and numerous anti-inflammatories, none of which really worked. I could not work if I did not take something for the pain. I don't do well sitting for long periods either, and have to get up and move around.
I'm sorry for your pain
We brought home a puppy in January, and I know how fast I became attached to him and how devastated I'd be to lose him even only after such a short while. We also just lost a long-time family pet, and I feel your pain. I'm so sorry for what you're going through and for what you have gone through.
I know your pain!
I went through the same type of thing years ago. I remember after a repeated battles with them, I saw a segment on the local news (talking about the outbreak) and that it's important not to make a big deal about it (so the kids don't think it's so bad). I remember thinking ... right, you go through this crap over and over and then say not to make a big deal about it!!
Anyway, I saw on the show The Doctors that mayo works, but I see you already know about that. I don't know any other good tricks but know people who have cut their girls' hair very short to make the whole process easier.
Maybe you could make sure you kids wear something on their heads on the bus as a barrier.
Also, I know sometimes at school for young ones who hang coats near each other, they will have them put garbage bags over their coats.
One time when my kids got them, I also got them, and they got really bad before I realized why I was itching in my occiput so badly at night. Eeeew! My husband never got them (figures). :)
I'm so sorry for you pain...
My dad drank a lot too. I don't know that he was an alcoholic though. My dad was a horrible father when all five of the kids were at home. He beat my oldest brother horrendously in front of all of us many, many times. He lined us all up by age when I was 5 (I'm the youngest) with a shotgun and was going to kill us all because we were making him old. There is a long list of other things that happened.
Once we moved out of the house, he turned into a different man. He did apologize to us. He became the best father and friend I could ask for. He was always so thrilled when I stopped by and made me feel more loved than anyone ever has. Fourteen years ago yesterday, my dad was killed in an airplane crash. He had an experiemental airplane and was flying by himself.
I have never forgotten my childhood because it has a lot to do with who I am today, but I am so thankful for the time I did have with him once things changed.
Maybe you could tell your dad how you feel about him, explain how hard it is to be around him now and let him take the next step. It might be worth a shot. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know it is really difficult to sort out all the emotions sometimes. I'll be thinking of you.
I'm sorry that I dug up old pain for you.
But, remembering can be helpful in this situation and others. I'm really sorry for the loss of your child. I also went through that when I was a young woman. Years and years later, I still have times when I feel profoundly sad about that.
I know this is an awkward thought transition, but perhaps one other thing I should mention about my father's death, and maybe your daughters' friends may experience this, as well. I was 21 when my dad died, and so everyone treated me as though... how do I describe this??? Well, I really felt that because I was an adult at 21 and that my father had suffered through a long chronic illness, that other people felt his passing was not so very traumatic for me. People actually said, "At least you are grown up. It's not as bad as if you were a little girl." I know now that people can say things that hurt unintentionally. But it hurt at the time. Yes, I was an adult, and I was helping with the funeral planning and had been very active in my father's healthcare, even speaking to doctors at the hospital and making decisions when my mother was not there. But I felt like a little girl when he died. I think that it's important for people to remember that young adults losing a parent have much more experience being children than they do being adults. It's a weird sort of transition to be in. Everyone expects you to be adult, but you feel like a kid.
That's just one other thing to keep in mind.
"a little pain"
"most probably" ??? Gee, remind me not to hire you as an investigator on my next clinical study.
Phimosis is an indication for surgery. Having a foreskin is not. The sources I've seen cite an incidence of non-developmental phimosis requiring circumcision as somewhere around 4% to 8%.
If a man has a circumcision later in life, there will be anesthesia and pain meds, and most important, there will be informed consent.
See my previous links for what I think about the pain of circumcision. Better yet, watch the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrtXZSDeTEk
pain
Yoga stretches helped me. Also trying to be more conscious of clinching my fists or hunching my shoulders (which I do when I am stressed out and working).
breast pain
Go ahead and try the Vit E - I took it for a couple of years and didn't notice any difference, but that doesn't you won't. I did the diet elimination of caffeine, which was really rough for me, but it made absolutely no difference. I think that pain is hormone related. My GYN told me after I did a year of the no caffeine diet that they had found that almost no one responded to it.
I have been told, since my first mammogram at age 37 that I have "changes consistent with fibrocystic disease." Even after menopause, I still get breast pain off and on. My right breast feels like it has a little rock in it; sometimes the discomfort/pain/tenderness shoots into my underarm area. It hasn't gotten better or worse in 20 years.
Sorry to not be more helpful.
face pain
Need to know if anyone else has face pain. It is under my eyes and on the side of my nose. Sometimes it is so bad I could scream. It feels like sinuses but CT scan was normal. Only goes away with ibuprofen. How long can I take ibuprofen for?
face pain
thanks
Pain on palpation?
If you rub your face, is there pressure-type pain that you can localize? If you think it's sinuses, do you have allergies? If you have allergies & you think it's sinusitis, I suggest you:
1) Get one of those allergy covers for your pillow. The newer ones are not vinyl. 2) Add another pillow to elevate your head, but make sure you position pillows so your neck isn't torqued. This may help sinuses drain.
3) Stop drinking milk. Try Silk on cereal and in glass. Milk is mucus-producing.
4) Take index fingers and palpate bony rim near your eyebrows. Feel the hole? Gently massage. It is a little uncomfortable because nerves come through there, but do it gently for 30 seconds.
5) Stretch facial muscles: Make a tight O with your mouth as you lower your jaw. Feel the pull as you draw your mouth inward. Relax upper face muscles. This promotes relaxation in muscles of jaw and mouth, where a lot of tension is held.
6) If you need to see MD, ask about Rhinocort nasal spray (or similar products). I don't use it every day because my problems are rare now with all the techniques I've learned.
Hope you get relief!
boobie pain
I can relate to what you said about extreme pain and the person who said to reduce the caffeine may be onto something. A couple years back I had pain that was to the point of scary. When I went for my routine check up at the 'ol gynecologist I happened to mention that and here I was thinking she would send me for tests or something but NO..she quickly just said "reduce the caffeine intake" and sure enough she was absolutely right!! GIVE IT A SHOT!!
Breast pain
I have a very personal question. Does anyone have severe breast pain before their menstrual cycle. I literally have excruciating pain for about two weeks before my cycle. I have tried Motrin, heat, Primrose, herbal supplements and changing my diet. Nothing works. I've had a couple of mammograms which were both normal. I am at my wits end. I am questioning a hysterectomy to relieve the symptoms (it's that bad). I have always had this but the pain seems to be getting worse. I only have about two weeks without breast pain. Does anyone have any suggestions or recommendations. I am willing to try anything.
Thanks ahead of time.....
Such pain???!! It's a disappointment actually...
And guess what!?! There will be PLENTY more of those in life. For me, it was the whole thing, including gifts of course, but it would not have been the same if I had known they were from my parents. I would have missed out on looking for rudolph in the sky, listening for sleigh bells, putting out cookies, and the fascination of the whole thing. It was magical :) Not giving your children Santa is like never taking them to Disneyland or Disney World - your loss. OH! And I didn't have to go to therapy over it - go figure!!! lol Besides most kids realize it or find out before parents ever have to tell them.
Pain Management doc?
I am going to one tomorrow for a sciatica episode that I am going through.I am in so much pain, I agreed to take the first appointment with anyone who can legally use a prescription pad!!! (It's been a year an a half since my last episode) My doc no longer works for the practice.
What should I expect? Pill pusher? Physical therapy? Right now, if a someone suggested that standing on my head while reciting the alphabet would work, I'd give it a shot!!!
Leg pain/numbness during the day.. :( sm
I've been having issues with leg pain and numbness during the day. I've adjusted my chair, the way I sit, getting up and walking more ect. but am not getting any relief. It is almost to the point where I cannot type as much as I have been. I've only been doing this job now for 6-7 months. Is this already the end for me? I really have to find a way to help with this or I can't keep doing it. It is to the point where I go to bed at night in pain and cannot sleep well.
I'm pregnant also, 6 months along, so am wondering if it is more an issue with that (and possible sciatic nerve problems along with loosening hips) than my actual job.
I'm short (5Ɖ")and wondering if having a box under my feet would help. Anyone work that way? I'm thinking maybe if my thighs/knees were not actually touching the chair, but more square from the hip and up on a box I'd fair better.
Any suggestions?
I know your pain..I lost my 16 y/o
xx
I understand your pain. Please
lean on God and know that it was all in his hands. You have no true idea if someone else might have witnessed to your grandmother. It is not uncommon. His grace and mercy will get you through this. Your uncle's decision was his own, and again, only God knows what was on his mind and in his heart.
Learn from this. We never know what tomorrow will bring and tragedy is always close. But, I also know that he will carry me through the rough times and has proven it. Mercy and healing to you.....
had it done 24-1/2 years ago. Very little pain.
Abdomen swelled a little bit. Back to work within a very few days (2-3). General anesthesia (that was the worst part of it for me). Hope it goes as well for you as it did for me.
Something else about your knee pain
I have been there, know all about the aching and knees giving out but hubs told me I should try omega 3, the fish oil products, and it worked wonders for me. One time got down and couldn’t get up, he had to help me and so embarrasing. I now can do squats, climb stairs and the ole knees basically are working. He has a vehicle that I still use the hand grip to get up into but other than that, my knees are 1000% better - I take it each and every day, not expensive and worked for me.
Am going to the pain clinic soon
and if as good as above, may even ask for it by name. I have fibro (as posted on autoimmune board) and really suffer with pain, pain as am typing now, never goes away, sometimes hurting, sometimes unbearable. Have some Tramadol but that is a little sedating although can work with it, nothing else. Will probably try to get there next week.
It is only pain and usually only when I put pressure on them. nm
!
Pain in legs
Hm... dont know if this will help or not... but i had this same thing happening and i invested in a really good chair that tilts forward a little to take the pressure off of the back of the legs... it helped me a ton!
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