I feel your pain. I have a grown adult in my face 24/7.
Posted By: LookingMT on 2009-02-07
In Reply to: What next??? - WestCoastMT
The man needs a job.. He wants to be with me so he sits/lays behind me a lot of the day until I tell him to do something constructive like clean the house..his job.. As I tell him, you've been assigned a job description, now get on it. I will say that I wouldn't spend three or four hours arguing with him, he knows better. I'll knock his block off. :)
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- What next??? - WestCoastMT
- I feel your pain. I have a grown adult in my face 24/7. - LookingMT
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face pain
Need to know if anyone else has face pain. It is under my eyes and on the side of my nose. Sometimes it is so bad I could scream. It feels like sinuses but CT scan was normal. Only goes away with ibuprofen. How long can I take ibuprofen for?
face pain
thanks
I feel your pain
It is the same way here. My husband is disabled and could help some with my youngest, but does not. It is up to me to do it all. My MIL used to "butt" in all the time, but thankfully that has stopped. I have a teenager who could also help and does not. Ironically I live with 3 others in my home and I have never felt so alone. There are days my DH will take his disabilty out on me and it is not right, but I don't have to walk in his shoes so I try to be understanding. Men will never be mothers. We surely do not get enough credit! We have to work 24/7 365 days a year. I know personally I work 6 days a week and my "day off" I spend cleaning, doing the errands ect. What day off??? I know it takes longer, but I stop and tend to my kids even when I am typing. It stinks, but a mom has to do what a mom has to do. I just know if I don't help my youngest no one else here will. It's sad, but true. That is why I am still working from home as a MT. Lord only knows what would happen if I weren't here. I pray things get better for you. I can relate to just how you feel. Take care of you!
I feel your pain here also..sm
My sister passed away back in Nov. after 12 yrs in a vegative state resulting from injuries in a car wreck. My mother had chosent have her cremated and wanted to have her ashes spread in the ocean since she was a "sungoddess" by secondary nature! She wanted to wait until the summer time. We are planning to do this about the 2nd week of July. I was thinking about releasing butterflies as a surprise for the family.
As previous poster said, you could also check parks in your local area and have a bench in a nice peaceful area dedicated to her with a plaque. Some parks allow that type of donation. Or, if you are near an ocean, maybe you could to a bench there.
I feel your pain!
I get these little tiny things that look like sugar ants...until they BITE! I have horrible reactions to their bites, much like fire ants. I, too, have cats, so I have to be careful spraying. I also rent, so that eliminates lawn service. Darn ants!!
I feel your pain...s/m
My 7-year-old has asked me several times if we could "move away from daddy". It's hard when you are at a crossroads and your situation sounds a lot like mine. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you and your child!
I feel your pain (sm)
We have a similar (although not as serious) situation with my in laws. Thank God we have not had to face the kinds of issues you have, but it still hurts. My hubby is their only child, and they just don't care anymore. They were decent parents while he was growing up and in the past few years, and then about 18 months ago, bam! They act like they've been brainwashed.
I won't go into the details, but suffice to say that I'm finished trying to bridge gaps. It just is not worth it. We are going to make our own "family" from friends who actually like to spend time with us and give us support, and when good ol' mom and dad get to that point in their life when they have regrets or, more likely, get too old to wipe their own butts, well honey, that is why we have nursing homes in this country. The sad thing is that my parents are gone, have been for a long time, and I hate to see hubby lose his parents before they are even gone. However, it just is not worth it.
I think you did exactly what you needed to do, even if just to make yourself feel better for a while. It may not have been the most thoroughly thought out action in the world, but you have so much stress on you right now, I think that can be forgiven.
Good luck to you and your husband, and try to stay strong. You have enough to worry about without the in laws adding to it, so just pretend they don't exist for a while. Know that you are not alone, and that you can always vent here if you need to. We'll understand.
HC
I feel your pain
Boy do I ever know where you're coming from! I went on vacation with a bunch of girlfriends last July and I looked at the pictures and thought "who the heck let the elephant in the room!!!" It was horrible. I am going on vaca again with the same women in July and I have vowed to be at least a little bit better.
You do have to lose weight overall to get the double chin to go away. In extreme cases there are people like AL Roker who lost weight but not really much in his face. I'm betting you're not that extreme, though.
My sister and I started walking together three mornings a week. It's not much yet, but it's more than we were doing before, which was nothing. Find a walking partner and try to walk for 30 minutes several days a week and you'll see a change.
Good luck!
I feel your pain
You, my dear, have picked up a stray troll... There is a special place in heck for people who get their jollies torturing people. Just remember that YOU are normal, nice, and decent, and obviously a brilliant mother, and a troll magnet, as am I unfortunately!
Tomorrow is another day!
Love,
Regular troll victim
I feel your pain!
My mother-in-law sent my sone $2 for his birthday, not $20, $2, so what I did was add another $15 and got him a toy I knew he would love and told him it was from his grandma and grandpa. I then called and told them what they gave him. I didn't have grandparents growing up and although it is tempting to let him know what an a**hole his grandma is, it isn't going to do any good now and he will figure it out eventually on his own. Right now, I just want him to feel loved.
Yup, I feel your pain, not hard to
imagine at all as I have many of those on a daily basis 
Honey, I feel your pain..
We have 5 friggin kids..THREE of which are teenagers and the oldest is almost 26 but going to college full-time so I have footing that bill along with all of his other bills he has acquired as an adult..Then, we have the almost 20-year-old daughter who is unable or just doesn't want to work..so we took her back out of the homeless spectrum and got her a home..which we are footing the bill for...Thus, is the reason mom has to work 2 FT jobs..So, my answer to our kids thinking they are EVER moving back home when we boot them out is this...We're buying a motor home when they're gone. On the back it will be named "Kid's Inheritance." Then, as we pull out of the driveway, and if we see them in the rearview mirror, we're hitting the gas!!! and it's like this.."kids, if you can catch us, you can move in, but we won't be doing the speed limit." How's that !!! As you know, as a parent, you have to spend your time laughing or you will just start bawling uncontrollably until they come haul you away.
I feel your pain! (See my posts to other threads above) nm
.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, i feel your pain nm
n
I feel your pain too, but not spending my money is not going to help you - nm
x
Yup, I feel your pain, but I solved things this year.
I bought myself a pair of boots I've been wanting forever, and a new purse, and a tennis bracelet - told him they were going to be from him to me. I bought 'em, wrapped 'em, and enjoyed them big time!! I deserved them! My DH means well, too, though just is clueless as well. Rather than sit and feel like crawling back in bed, this year I was right on the floor opening gifts with the rest of the bunch! Sometimes we women have to do what we have to do! 
I feel your pain, been down that road many times over the years - sm
I am so sorry for what you are going through. You need to take her to the vet and let her go. That way she will not be suffering any longer and you will know you eased her pain. It sounds like it is time. Again, I have been through this many times over the years with my cats and it is hard each and every time. I will be wishing you all the best.
I feel your pain... sometimes I consider shaving my head!!! I just keep it short so as not to mess
nm
Cuz you're numbing your brain so you feel no pain! Flavored brandy
s
pain and not wanting pain is understandable cuz of medical reason
I mean come on, when he has pain somewhere, does he not want to do something? Seriously, is this a true medical pain problem? If it is, then anyone could understand.
Sorry...should be paint store not pain (maybe pain...hehe)
X
This man's ego has grown so much it is
getting ready to bust and then he will realize his show has had its run and it is time to go away. I do think that for Ivanka to be so young she carried herself very well and had very intelligent things to say.
Grown and
several years ago.
if they are so grown then maybe they could
get out on their own?? Just a thought. It is the mothers home, not theirs and she pays to be the boss and therefore is. If kids so grown, let them have at it.
He's a grown-up man and obviously sm
sees a lot in you. I can understand your apprehension (BTDT), but you could possibly miss out on the best friend you could ever have. Enjoy his company, and enjoy a good life. Life is too short!
all grown up
If you work you can find a nice apartment even if your credit is poor. Everyone's credit is poor. Find yourself somewhere great to live and then tell him he is welcome to come if he wants. Then, go live your life!! It's hard to do, but, NO, not all men are selfish.
when they are grown and won't sm
follow the rules of the house then you have to make them get out on there own. I have two sons. We had to make both of them leave. The only rules we had were if you are not coming home, let us know. I always told them to give me a "ballpark" time when they would be home and if they were not going to come home then, just call me. I didn't really ask where they were at, kind of silly for 20 year old boys and they can tell you anything. But, for their own safety I told them always let someone know when you are NOT coming home. They didn't want to go by those rules and threw fits and we had to put them both out (not at the same time of course, they are different ages). The youngest is now a firefighter (32 years old), married, has his own business on the side. The oldest has his own business, lives out of state. They both did very well.
I see too many 40 year old kids living at home sponging off mom and dad and will never get anywhere doing that. It is a pattern they just keep doing over and over again.
Now if they are in school and doing well, working or not working depending on the school situation, I would not put them out UNLESS they didn't follow my rule and then I would not care if school was involved or not. I think this is why we have so many kids who will not grow up because we enable them to be this way. Just my opinion though. I didn't say it was easy, but it is necessary.
My son is NOT being childish. He is more grown up
And, since you mentioned it, both of my brothers are felons. One is already in the pen and the brother that my son does not want at the wedding will soon be going to the pen for what else - 3 counts second degree sexual assault. So, do you still think our son is childish?????? Not sure how you got the childish portion out of the original post to begin with!!!
As you said, you are grown as is he. Let it be. Is he questioning her sm
or her motives? It is not your place at all to say anything to your father about his impending wedding, honeymoon, etc. Now, if she was taking his money, squandering, etc., and not marrying him then that's another story. She obviously loves him and he loves her, so wish them well, be sweet and happy for him and move on with your own life.
I can sense your bitterness and you need to cut that out of your life. It's counter productive to be bitter and resentful. And, the Bible says it clearly: Bitterness rots your bones.
MAKING??? Isn't he a grown man? (nm)
x
Grown Children
True, not all families are the Cleavers. However, your tone comes accross very unloving towards your children. I find that sad. My oldest son (29) died in an accident. Open up and let your children get to know you before it is too late. Don't sweat the small stuff. Life is simply too short.
Lilly
I have always grown veggies - sm
And this year it looks like doing so will really pay off! I mean, for a few dollars I can get enough plants to cover my 100 sq feet of raised beds and really make a dent in the cost of produce, which we eat a lot of. Happy gardening! 
She is a grown woman and all you
can do is invite her and leave it at that.
my dear grown up former
Dear Son,
Remember when I carried you on my hip everywhere we went until you weighed 50 pounds? I still have a lopsided left arm and body. People would say to me, "when are you going to let him walk?" and I would say, "If I put him down, he will run off!"
Remember when I could not carry you anymore and you would take off in Sam's Club running and laughing just to see the look of horror on my face running after you, abandoning my cart?"
Remember how I had to buy an extra large pet harness at Pet Smart in bright purple and I put you in that leash whenever we were out in public?
Look at you now! All grown up and handsome and not one little trace of a leash! I love you, I would have taken 12 more just like you, I miss playing with you, and I am lucky to be your mom. You taught me all I ever wanted to know about glass replacement, first aid, and laughing until I peed my pants.
Love, Mom
No, my children are both grown and I am not particularly fond
of home schooling. I think it deprives the children of much-needed social interaction and learning to get along in the real world.
Just wait until those roots have grown out
nm
does anyone besides me have a bad relationship with a grown daughter or son?
with one of your grown-up kids, or is it only me? My oldest daughter and I do not get along, never did. I love her, but am not sure if I like her. She is very selfish and self centered and it's all about her. Everyone else see's it but her. Of course, there's a lot more to it, but last night she sent me a letter saying basically she's done with me.....not sure at all where this is coming from. I really, really don't need this right now. So, is anyone else in any kind of a similar situation with an adult child? She's 38.
You are talking about grown-a.. folks
By goodness, you do not even see where you are going wrong, do you? What happens if you die suddenly? Do you think they would starve, I doubt it. They would get off their lazy behinds and make do. Why don’t you just let them move in on you and make it 1 big happy home? I do not just dole out money without a person trying to help themselves. You are making them both invalids but wait, you still have the grandkids to go. Lucky you. Don’t gripe when you are to blame for their not working and trying to live on their own. Look in the mirror.
"Romance novels" are all grown up now
Nora Roberts and Debbie Macomber are current faves of mine. Nora's books are a little more intense for the most part, Debbie's more funny and lighthearted. Yeah, they've got the requisite happy endings, but they're good fun reads for the most part, particularly Debbie's books.
My kids are grown, and I do NOT miss it!
I love my children, but bringing them up was the longest, hardest work that I ever did. The sheer exhaustion from never getting enough sleep made everything seem more difficult. But, we all came through it, and the payoff is the amazingly wonder relationships my children, husband and I have with each other as adults. We enjoy each other's company, and I'm so full of pride whenever I see my boys out in the world doing things on their own. After all, that was our goal all along... to raise up fine, responsible adults.
So I don't miss it, but I'm glad I did it. It was worth it. And my husband and I did a great job, if I do say so myself!
Our children are grown, our only grandchild is due to be
born tomorrow and we all talked about it and this year we are only going to buy 1 gift per person (except for the new grandson). So, our budget will be very small this year and, for once, I am actually not stressing about Christmas.
Yeah, well if he was grown up enough to take care
of your 5-year-old daughter, maybe you should have sent him to work. The nerve, a 13-year-old boy making his mommie work two jobs to support him.
Isn't that depending on welfare, too?
You are a joke. If I were a doctor, I would make sure you had a rubber room. By the way, making your son stay home and take care of your daughter was wrong. If you are as old as you say, it was wrong back then, as I am 37 and it was a big no no.
Nowadays, it is child neglect in a lot of places as 13 is expected to take care of no one but themselves for a long period of time.
For a grown woman you seem very dependent on
xx
Absolutely. I've known from age 9 (having grown up in --
a large family and the pandemonium that can be), that I wanted a quieter life than that. I like KIDS, but have never much cared for infants. They make me way too nervous. All that screaming they do overrides my Prozac level, and brings on homicidal thoughts. ;D
What would you do if your grown child told you
she felt like she had to walk on egg shells to be around you? Would you a) not be around her very much or at all or b) try to change who you are to fit in with what shethinks you should be like or c) just forget what she said? We are talking a 36 year old and I, her mother, on the other side of 65.
my kids aren't grown yet, but
I definitely would not put up with the 19-yo. He can get out and get a job. As for your daughter, I feel for her b/c she has kids. I'm not sure that I'd let her move in, though. She should look for some place cheaper to live. Offer to keep her kids for a day while she house hunts or apartment hunts. I also understand what she's going through with childcare expense. How old is the child she's asking you to watch this summer? Is he/she old enough to entertain himself -- 10 or 11? -- old enough to fix himself a lunchmeat sandwich and watch TV? If so, then I think if you could, you should consider watching him over the summer. $250 may not seem like much, but if she's able to find somewhere cheaper to live, it could be the difference between living on her own or moving in with you.
Obviously, you are under no obligation to help either of your children, but I suspect this situation bothers you because you care for them greatly. Maybe a compromise could work to benefit both of you. Good luck!
I have seen young girls as well as grown women
behaving like this. My goodness, this young female apparently was so excited about seeing these stars- I probably would have been the same at her age, in fact as a young girl years and years ago remember meeting Sal Mineo who starred with James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause- I got to shake his hand and remembered not wanting to wash it again. What about the ladies throwing their panties to what is his name, Ingelbert Humperdink (spelling?) when he played in Las Vegas. I see nothing out of the ordinary in this young girls actions, not in the least. Seen it a lot of times in my lifetime.
We are talking about a 5-y/o here not grown wacko adults - sm
so it is not a diaper fetish. Odds are the child is looking for attention and as stated in numerous posts wants to be the baby again and have all the attention. If the mom can, she needs to spend some 1:1 time with her 5-y/o, maybe at bedtime, story reading, or just talking, or take him down to the corner store and leave the younger one at home with dad, etc. Anything really, just spent 15-30 minutes a day that is his time with him mom alone. I wouldn't get freaked about it. I have 2 girls and the one loves to play with her nipples and stroke her tummy. She is 7 and just exploring sensation at this point. I told her it is okay to do but in private, not in public. I am not making a big issue out of it; not that it is a big issue to begin with.
No glad my kids are grown and out of home...
Anyone who thinks their kids are bad - well get this 3 BROTHERS here 10, 12 and 14 charged with crimes related to their breaking and entering and then completely destroying a Headstart school. They threw not only paint and other solvents over the place but also left own bodily fluids such as feces and urine, totally destroying computers, games, floors, the whole building, probably over $100,000 damage. I thank my lucky stars I do not have to even think about putting up with that.
I think it's more IN-appropriate for a grown man to take/ask a woman for money. I know his type..
This is not anything new to him. This is how he survives. Chances are that he does have another "cash cow" so to speak in the wings. I've been there. I was stupid the first time just over 6 months of constantly bailing him out "so we could be together." Second time, I basically "paid" someone to be their friend for 3 years. I did everything in the world for him, mostly financial. I thought every time I helped him he would see what a great person I was and fall magically in love with me. Needless to say, he'd spent his life surviving by manipulating women and had no interest in me other than to support him. After I lost those 3 years, I regained my self-esteem and self-confidence that I deserved more. As far as I am concerned, no matter what the situation is, any man who takes money from a woman is worthless. That should be his last option. How about working more, getting a loan, anything but coming to you for money. I'm sorry to sound as if I am passing judgment but if I can save someone heartbreak I will try. My friend also spent a lifetime of supporting one deadbeat after another. Sometimes I think she subconsciously asked for it. She wanted to be needed. Yes, they were needy alright and needed her money but what she really wanted was just to be wanted. She had the two mixed up. The last guy that she dated for a year, through snooping in his computer unfortunately, found out he was on every personal ad site outthere including porn websites etc and had been meeting women AND men on the side while she handed out the cash believing he would marry her. Crushed was not the word for it. Sorry so long.. and as a side note...after 8 years of singlehood, I found my Prince Charming who spoils me rotten. I have never given him a dime and he has given me the world. They are out there.
I had a grown child and was employed (in this great
x
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