I feel so much for you as I had a dear pet to leave me this year
Posted By: Cat lover on 2008-02-07
In Reply to: My cat was just diagnosed with lymphoma last night. - ss
She was born at my home 18 years ago, gosh I loved her. She just died on the 12th of January and I miss her terribly. I doctored, pampered, spoon fed, medicated her for various things and tried. Vet told me about 2 weeks before her demise she had organ failure. I buried her in my yard, had bought a pink receiving blanket for her the day before her death, knew her kidneys were shuting down and held her and told her ok to go. I still get misty-eyed when thinking about her a lot although at first totally not comforted in my grief. I understand your feelings and so sorry, really am.
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Dear 34-year-old daughter
I call because I am lonely. It is really quiet with all you kids gone and someday soon, when your 3 are grown, you will know too, and then you will call nonstop. That is just what we do. Yes, I do call your brothers and sister when I am lonely also, but your right, you are closer and more convienent. Sorry about the wallpaper....once again, I am lonely and needed help. Deep down, you know I care and I am not trying to be critical of you. My intent is there, maybe my approach is wrong. Someday though...you will reach for that phone 3 times a day and it will not be me on the other end, enjoy it while it lasts.
I don't want to compare war stories, but I know exactly how you feel. Last year, on my way to vis
family member out of state, I was alone with my 2 children on a major US interstate. As we were leaving a big city and began accellerating, we immediately came to a stop. I almost rear-ended a trailer in front of me. I looked to my left and across the median (a grassy, hilly median) there was smoke, a tractor trailer on the side almost tipped over, and a manged Ford F-150 lying across the highway blocking all oncoming traffic. The accident had happened a minute earlier. I swear you've never seen a truck to mangled. The top was missing, it looked like a convertible, and under the tractor trailer lying face down was a young man (a teenage boy), just under the tires. IN THE TRUCK was a young boy who was apparently sitting in the back but half of his body was in the front. He was twisted like a circus acrobat. Going in and out of consciousness. And the driver of the Ford walking around bleeding in a daze trying to wake up his brother under the tractor trailer. Only 1 person had stopped, and for some reason my instincts told me to immediately pull over (I was in a large SUV with 2 kids in the back - what was I thinking?), but it was a godsend.
So, I go over to the boy in the truck and begin talking to him. He's still breathing. Barely. I lay hands on him and begin praying for him like crazy. Apparently, help had already been called. By the time I was finished the fire trucks and police had arrived.
I walked over to the boy under the trailer and he SITS UP! I thought he was already dead.
I spoke with the driver and they were all 3 high school students on break for lunch. He told me he was in BIG trouble because he took his dad's truck and wasn't supposed to. He knew his mom's work number and called her and I walked away as he began telling her what happened.
I was there for approximately 30 minutes. the police and fire dept. were so kind to me asking me for every little detail I had, which was none since I didn't witness the accident. When I arrived to my destination that night (shaking and crying almost the whole way), I looked on line for information and found NOTHING. Still to this day I have not heard anything about the accident. Not sure if the boy in the truck made it, but I did pray so hard for God to save him. I didn't care that I was bending over his body as people all around me were looking on at the accident scene. It's an experience I will never forget.
I came home and wrote about it in my journal and it took about 10 pages. I still have nightmares of seeing the boy under the trailer lying face down first. But then I think about how he sat up and I feel so much better. It will take time, but the wounds will heal.
Yup, I feel your pain, but I solved things this year.
I bought myself a pair of boots I've been wanting forever, and a new purse, and a tennis bracelet - told him they were going to be from him to me. I bought 'em, wrapped 'em, and enjoyed them big time!! I deserved them! My DH means well, too, though just is clueless as well. Rather than sit and feel like crawling back in bed, this year I was right on the floor opening gifts with the rest of the bunch! Sometimes we women have to do what we have to do! 
Don't feel like sending Christmas cards this year
Christmas is next week. Got pix of the family to put in the cards, and tons of Christmas cards from last year's Christmas sales. Every day, I say, I will do these cards. At least to grandma and grandpa on both sides. Every day, I put it off. DH got a roll of stamps and he has the cards sitting on his nightstand with pix, he has not done any either.
Thus far we got several newsletters from people, saying they did this, they did that, they celebrated this birthday, their kid did this and that. We don't plan to do a newsletter this year, b/c it seems to me these newsletters sound so self-centered! They are not even from family members, they are from DH coworkers and such.
My friends send me e-cards pretty much or we chat over the I-net. We send holiday greetings and catch up that way. My son will be getting grandma and grandpa's on both sides presents the end of the week, and I think I will just put the pictures in the packages when I send and forget about the cards.
This is really sad. Years ago, Dec 1 we'd get a bunch of cards and have ours sent out. Different colors of ink on the envelopes, red and green, holiday stamps, it would be so fun. All the cards we'd get my dad or I would put on a board in shape of a tree and we'd put it on the wall.
Now, it seems with snail mail, and so many other worries about cutting budget, finding enough work, I am not in the mood to write cards. Maybe it will become a thing of the past, and the boxes of cards will accumulate dust in the top of the closet.
Anybody else in this predicament? Thanks in advance for sharing your card stories.
Leave some open boxes of baking soda inside and maybe search for carbon filters to leave in there,
s
dear husband, dear daughter, etc...
xx
Bigger issue - a 16 year old living withi a 29 year old and liability
Are you still not responsible for him until he is 18, how can he tell you where he will live? Unless he emancipates himself and he does something wrong, can they go against you since you are his mother and legally responsible for him? I worry more about him living with a 29 year old sister rather than returning a house key to me that is a bigger issue.
My 14-year-old is going to be a mother-in-law (so funny) if you google it and 11-year-old daughter
x
Won $2,000 on slot machine on New Year's Eve. What a way to start the year. nm
!
Set my budget a year in advance, save all year and
nm
What a difference a year makes! Last year, sm
we had the same problem. Fines everywhere for watering.
Paid $60,000 on principal last year and this year
planning on another $30,000 after my taxes paid for the year. We are getting our house paid down very quickly.
55-year old woman has birthday sex with 12-year old
DAYTON - Gloria Murphy gave children celebrating her 55th birthday alcohol and then had sex with a 12-year-old boy at the party on Thursday, Jan. 29, according to police.
The boy got into Murphy’s bed at 5440 Rawlings Drive, where the married woman had sex with her adolescent neighbor, according to police and Montgomery County prosecutors.
Two of the children at the party ran home at about 6 a.m. Jan. 30 and told a parent they saw the boy and woman having sex, according to 911 audio.
The parent then called police at about 6:15 a.m., according to a police report and 911 audio.
Murphy did not force the boy to have sex, but since he is younger than 13, it is considered rape, Lt. Patrick Welsh said. No other children were involved in the sexual encounter, but some other children at the party consumed alcohol, according to police.
Leave Them In
My mom uses hers a lot and she leaves them in. I use hers more than I use mine and I leave mine in, too. I just got it out yesterday after a year of not using it and it still worked.
What about when they just leave their
carts in line, taking their packages and leaving for you to move out of the way. I say Excuse me, is this your cart? How rude.
get him help or leave him
nm
No, but I tell her where I'm going and bye-bye when I leave
s
I do want to leave, but (sm)
him being so agreeable scares me. I want to believe that he has been thinking the same thing and that me being the one to say it makes it easier for him not to be the "bad guy" but I am just scared that he is going to somehow try to cause me problems, I guess I just don't trust him.
Why leave is everything is okay? nm
nm
Take this from me. Leave her alone. Seriously. She will come to you sm
when she is good and ready. I was living in a snowed in town, my baby son was born in the middle of winter, my mom was 3,000 miles away, had my MIL with me, husband went back to work a week after son was born. I DIDN'T WANT ANY COMPANY. I didn't realize it at the time but I was suffering from severe PPD. And anything anyone said or did (sister in laws all acted like you did- confused, hurt, did not understand), all because they've never walked an inch in my shoes. I've been where you're friend now walks. Leave her alone. Let her mom know you are still there for her. Don't you dare give up on her, either, due to being offended. I lost a few so called friends because they couldn't handle the way I acted after my first son was born. My reaction: Good riddance. You were never my true friends anyway.
I could write a book on PPD. This is clearly what she is suffering from. And please don't tell me, "oh, just call me! I can help you! I just want to sit in the room with you!" Please. No. You don't understand. It is a severe mental condition. At this point you need meds, rest, and understanding.
Let me make a long story short. I had this one friend from college who INSISTED on seeing me. She came to the house 5 days after I got home. I LOCKED myself and the baby in the room, sat in the rocker and NEVER once left the room. I didn't want to see her. I, the social butterfly, couldn't understand it at the time, but I will tell you that I resented her "bugging" me like that. Of course, 6 months later, we were friends again. But that day was torture for me.
You don't know what she is going through, like I said. Just be there for her. Pray for her. She will come around. 8 days is too soon to bother with her if she is not ready. Having a baby is a truly precious and personal thing and all women have to deal with this event in their own way.
Women must understand this. Even friends.
Leave
Your last paragraph reveals a lot. You don't respect him and he doesn't respect you. You are not shallow. The two of you have grown apart and he is not the kind of man you want to spend your life with. Cut your losses and get out.
I leave it on
but no one eats it. It's kinda hard so I always thought it had a bone in it and probably would be difficult to take off. From now on I will probably remove it.
Leave now
It will be hard, but you can make it. I left after a nightmare of 10 years. I had 2 kids and not much money, but I got help from the state and survived by sheer will. The happiness of being free and the pride in becoming independent are well worth it. Good luck to you. Go get happy!
leave
You said you stayed with family out of state once before - can you take the kids and do that again? That might be the safest thing - then file for divorce, etc. You know him better than we do - so just trust your instincts and keep yourself and your kids safe - but you do need to get out of that marriage. . Take care and let us know how things are going.
She needs to leave well enough alone. He
might seem like her knight in shining army, but she has built a life with someone else. Obviously, she is not too unhappy to have stayed in her marriage for 25 years. Every once in a while I see my ex-fiance and my heart still gives a little extra thump. Then I stop and look at what I have. I have a wonderful husband of 30 years, 2 beautiful children, 1 adorable grandson. What more could I want. Yeah, the first guy was what some would call the love of my life. That doesn't lessen the love that I feel for my husband. The other man is now into his second marriage and, from all accounts, cheated his way through the first and they divorced after 20 years of marriage. As for my marriage, it's had its ups and downs just like any marriage, but, all in all, it has been very, very good and I wouldn't trade what I have for all the "thumps" in my heart. I could have married him and ended up being the one cheated on and divorced after 20 years. Thank God (quite literally) that I was spared that.
You wish they would all leave?
because you have to transcribe ESLs and it is irritating, now you wish they would all leave? I didn't realize being an MT was so stressful for some. Glad I'm able to handle it. I must be a stronger person. Oh I love coming here! Makes me feel so much better about myself.
Why is it okay to leave this post up, but
delete all the other ones?
Well don't leave us hanging - let's have it!!! nm
Even a big man is not home 24/7. Leave while he is gone
d
If she wanted to leave she would have done so
It sounds like it's drama she is posting.
She is a grown woman and could have easily left him during church, while he was sleeping, at work, ect if she *really* wanted to leave.
Please tell me she didn't leave the dog...sm
with him! I'd be afraid for the dog's safety, as well as the dog being used to manipulate your daughter...
i did leave, but came back
I read your post, and just wanted to add to my post below that I did leave and just came back within the last 3 weeks. Things were pretty good at first, but now, even last night, he comes home from work at 2 am. The kids and I have been in bed for hours, and he starts a rant at 3 am about the milk being all gone that he bought the day before, and about my daughter using his shaving cream up in the bathtub. I just don't know where to go at this point. School is getting ready to start and my kids love this area. The only place I could go at this point is my mother's, that is where I went before. I don't know, I'm just venting and praying while I work. Thanks.
I did leave him once for about nine days...sm
After only 7 months of marriage I left and sort of went into hiding from him. He didn't have any idea where I was. When I finally contacted him he was totally distraught. He begged me to come back and made all kinds of promises to get counseling and go to anger management classes. Of course, the same week that I returned the "old" husband came right back.
One reason I really can't leave now is b/c we have total custody of my step-daughter and I am the only mother she has ever truly had. I don't feel like I can leave and desert her. There is no way I could ever get custody of her in our state. Thus, I keep on dragging along taking whatever is dished out my way.
I leave the radio on for them
We go away about once a month for a few days to visit my husband's mother who lives out of state, about a 4 hour drive away, and I always leave the radio on for our 3 cats just to sort of keep them company.
All the more reason why you should leave.
Do you have any friends or family that you can stay with, so you aren't alone? Not sure if it's him you are afraid of or the legal/financial stuff but maybe you would feel better if you talked to someone close to you about the situation.
Leave some $ on dresser and see what happens.
x
Fo Done: Is it right to leave a husband...
My answer to your question, in your case, is: No.
Maybe now you reject your husband so much because of this letter he wrote you, but I am sure that he regrets it and he wrote it in a state 'when he was out of his mind'. He apologized!
It is very seldom that men apologize.
Give him some t i m e to prove (oh my, I really think in this case it is prove, because it can be replaced by 'showing', but if the majority says it's proof, ok, then it's proof, I am confused now) that he wants to treat you better, give him another chance.
Don't forget, but forgive.
I am the only one who advises you to stay; I cannot believe this. All others give you their own 'horror stories', much worse than yours. Is this giving advice? Counseling?
Keep in mind, you can often give it a try, make it a little better, day by day, it takes only o n c e to leave and this is it, it's final.
Maybe if you stay, down the road, you will thank me for telling you to stay.
But......if he starts to physically abuse you, leave immediatley.
Now I am already expecting comments like....
'emotional abuse is even worse than physical abuse....etc....'
It depends on the grade of verbal abuse; some people regard even criticism as emotional and verbal abuse.
Can you not make it and just leave the
x
I did leave the seeds in...
maybe that's it. Strange stuff.
I also read you have to have a pressure-cooker for green beans and corn. I decided to blanch and freeze mine because I don't have the money right now for a pressure-cooker but that's on my list to watch the upcoming sales so I have one for next year.
Good luck to you too! Its a great way to save money after the start up costs and a much healthier alternative to store bought.
if you ask if you should leave on this board
The answer will be yes. No one will ever suggest that you do otherwise. This is the "you go girl, we hate men, leave the dirt bags, the kids will get over it" board.
I probably would tell hubs he had to leave
Nah, just kidding. The mama is trying to hide the kittens. The kittens will nurse for about 4 weeks and then they should be able to eat at least soft kitty food. Mama will start refusing to nurse when she wants the kitties to let her go, but about 4 weeks. I just had a baby kitten at my home today- the girl who does rescuing with me brought it by. She got at animal control and it was just a baby, about 4 or 5 weeks old.
No One Can Ask You To Leave Your Own Home
It does not matter whose name the house is in. Do you live in a community property state? Most of them are. The house is community/marital property even if it is in his name. Let him try to sell it without you signing to do that. He can not do that and he can not tell you to leave, no matter how much notice he gives you. HE SAYS he spoke with a lawyer who gave him that bit of advice?? Oh really??? Then tell him to have that lawyer speak to you and tell you that you have to leave YOUR home. That's right - YOUR home. You are married, right? He cannot make you leave.
Since it has come to this, though, I would start getting my ducks in a row financially and otherwise because it sounds like the beginning of the end, no matter how long that takes. To thine own self be true!! Start socking away your possessions and money without his knowledge as previously advised. Hopefully YOU will decide when it is time to go and you will be prepared. People always think they will patch things up and not have to worry about it. Not true. Eventually this WILL play out. Be ready. My heart goes out to you. Please take care of YOURSELF.
Oh dear, that should be the end of our lot sm
not "and the ned of our lot". Been a loooong weekend and it's not over yet. LOL. Anyway, thanks for all the helpful advice.
I am not your dear.
If you ever see your kids or grandkids hungry, bet you change your mind real fast.
The first D is Dear...nm
Dear God yes!
That is my favorite comfort food!
I demand you buy some this weekend and eat it!
LOL
But seriously, it's awesome. You should try it!
Dear Dog
Go brush your own hair. I have to brush mine.
Love,
Mom
Dear DH
You no longer travel 6 weeks at a time, with a week in between travels. Learn to pick up your flipping dirty laundry or I will shove it up your, uh, in your ear.
Love, your wife
Dear Son
You have a rogue sock in your room that I cannot find, but the odor is lofting out into the hall. Please do your best to find it.
Love,
Mom
Dear IRS:
You suck.
Dear Everyone -
Yes, I am crabby - I have both PMS and perimenopause. When I tell you to "stop bugging me", I mean it.
Leave me alone since I gave you fair warning - Or Else suffer the consequences.
Signed - Really, REALLY IRRITABLE.
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