I don't understand how people can advise
Posted By: You know the answer on 2009-01-07
In Reply to: Need advice from those of you who have been there. SM - anon
to stay in a marriage when you stated you are not happy, you want out and you do not love him. Why stay in this marriage? You know the answer and you do not need validation or feel bad because you want out. There is nothing worse than having to wake up and go to bed with a person you do not love. Life is to short to stay in a loveless marriage. Be good to yourself and be happy. Why have regrets when you are older.
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When will people understand
You were not a single mother, you were a separated or divorced mother. I was a divorced mother, had 2 children also and I never had to get food stamps or welfare. I worked more than 1 job and made it. I had absolutely no money coming in from my husband. I found you can feed children, if need be, on potatoes and beans. I bought my own home, bought my own cars, everything I did on my own. I have seen so much welfare/food stamp fraud I hope they will revert back to the old way of giving out cheeze and mystery chicken in the can.
Yes, I understand a lot of people
My PCP ; I can understand everything he says - my kids??? not so much! LOL - I love him dearly! He's the best!
This is why I just can't be so hard-core against ESL - we all bleed red!
Not young but people sometimes do not understand regarding this.
My elderly aunt is in her 80s. I am in early 60s. She has a much better memory than me and she has a close friend who is a scatterbrain like your friend. We are not forgetful because we want to be, it is something we cannot help. I have to write myself notes in order to remember very important things regarding business, etc. I hand my husband very, very important business related matters or else once in my hand they are probably lost. I have a file and put things there but then when I have to have, go looking and looking to find. I have a daughter totally organized and wish I were. Believe me when I am saying your friend does not try to do this.
Me2 - I never could understand how people could use crates.
nm
I don't understand how people were dumb enough
x
I can't understand my co's support desk people and they are in US. Or
xx
Dont understand why people generalize
Just seeing your post and stating 53 and from a different generation and thus against guy's ears being pierced- please do not assume- you are so wrong- I just posted above about loving my man's ear piecing and wanting him to get another and I am 65!!!
I so didn't understand this show...people homeless
and plasma TVs - people who are homeless need HOMES.....not expensive electronics.......I so didn't understand this show.....I saw the guy say *I lost everything, my home and absolutely everything* and then Robin/Phil give him a plasma TV....sheesh...........
I totally understand your point but people saying itch when they mean scratch
.
I agree. I could never understand why people bragged about the size of their refund.
It just means they let the government accrue interest on their money throughout the year. I aim for less than $100 difference between what I owe and what I pay in every year. Yes, my refund is smaller, but I would rather put that money into savings or my retirement fund on a monthly basis than let Uncle Sam "hold it for me" all year long.
I would advise this -
Do you have some place in town that can handle picture conservation, like a museum, that kind of thing? You might even try calling photo devlopers or photographers to see what they recommend. Sometimes they can work miracles. I had an old picture restored from the 1800s that had a water stain on it. When they had finished I could hardly tell. Yours do sound worse than mine was, however. Good luck to you! :-)
Advise for my dog!
Help! My 11 year lhasa-poo (light of my life of course!) has a torn anterior cruciate ligament of the back leg. He cannot put any weight on it. Surgery which is not that successful on an older dog is $10,000! SO! Anyone have experience or tips about this? I can hardly function for worrying about my Simon! Thanks to all, Ginny
Some advise from one who has been there
In earlier years I thought I could not afford insurance, young like her with 1 child then. Worked at hospital and worked on outside basis for other doctors transcribing. son in accident, needd orthopedic surgery, 2 admits to the hospital. The hospital made deductions, the surgeon did as freebie as I had no money. What would have happened if not working at those 2 places? After then got insurance and had ever since - over 30 years without letting it drop. I learned my lesson and it could have been a very expensive one.
advise
ok, what would you do? Took a MT job outside home, quit home MT job, worked 1 week 1 day, got let go yesterday. Employment agency never told supervisor that I had vacation planned and paid for for 1 week end of February. I told her on Friday and she was furious and said "I never would have gone along with that". Then I was let go, after a full day's work, on Monday. Agency called me 6:00 last night to tell me. They said the reason was "things were not getting fixed that needed to be fixed". Have no idea what they mean. After only 2 days training was put by myself to work. Never, ever told by anyone about quality of my work, I don't think it was ever checked. I now have a closet of new clothes & shoes. I am so angry and my self-esteem is in the toilet. Have been an MT for over 20 years and now my confidence is shattered. What do you guys think I should do? Please help this tired old lady.
Sclerotherapy advise
Anybody ever have treatment for spider veins with sclerotherapy? and what has been your experience.
I am strongly considering it. I have tried the creams and they do not work. I have a big patch on the upper inner part of my thigh. It just looks gross.
I also have broken capillaries on my face. Any suggestions other than laser therapy or even sclerotherapy? I am a bit nervous about doing that to my face. Thanks.
I can't advise but can commiserate
My husband got rear-ended on the job three years ago, is still having pain and numbness in his back and leg. The company he worked for didn't file for Worker's Comp or even fill out an incident report, which we didn't find out until his bills weren't getting paid. We got a lawyer, who is useless. They finally got going on the Worker's Comp but now they've stopped paying again - he's getting his Lyrica through Pfizer's patient care plan because we have no insurance and WC won't pay. Any phone calls get redirected when he calls WC insurance carrier. He's pretty much resigned to living in pain the rest of his life. I don't know how people can cheat and get away with it when he can be legitimately hurt and not get any help at all!
my advise (for whatever its worth)
dont raise him anymore, stop today. if it is something you dont want to do, then dont do it. if he doesnt want to be responsible for the bills, then let bill collectors call, whatever the case may be. find something for yourself. that is what i have had to do. sometimes i forget, but im much much better when i do. i take a walk in the morning all by myself. i rearrange the furniture (okay im weird) lol, he hates that, but i dont care, it makes me happy. we are not here to MAKE SURE they are happy. they can either be happy with the person you are inside or hit the pavement. i know you will make the right choices. also too, i had to stop talking to my family about him because at this point, they hate him, and want me to leave. i am an adult and i have to make my own choice, and i pray it works (and works functionally) for us.
btw, his mother has OCD, she cleaned his whole childhood. she has a hugely dysfunctional relationship with her mother, and did have with her daugher, who is an alcoholic. she is very selfish, and is just generally miserable. she is a christian, but is the kind that has all the right things to say, but doesnt act on any of them. analyzing her helps me to see why my husband is like he is.
BTW, the company I advise you
to avoid is
The Cleaning Authority.
They have a rigid schedule they refuse to deviate from, they mark up your walls with their tools, and they break furniture. They don't know how to properly clean a laminate floor or sinks. You have different workers each time, so tipping well makes no difference in the job they do. Complete waste of money, no matter how many times you meet with the supervisor.
You want advice, not advise
NM
Good advise
No need to tell him too far in advance. Overall he's a good man. I'm not making excuses for him but we do laugh a lot (like every day we are horsing around). We don't really fight all that much. I'd say overall we have a good marriage, but he just gets in these moods sometimes. I often wonder if he's going through mid life crisis but don't know. The issue of him working and where we are going to live is a whole nother story because he could decide on one thing and then the next day its something else. Last weekend he was getting ready to tell me what he wanted to do but before he did he mowed the lawn and when he came back in he had told me he changed his mind. I laughed and said that's why I told him to wait and mow the lawn first before telling me what his thoughts are. HA HA. What really doesn't help matters is all this blasted news about the polygamy people in Texas because my sister is a Mormon. HA HA HA Oh well...like you say, i'll wait. My sister and I were talking bout maybe July. I'll definitely keep you posted as to how it goes.
Simple advise...(sm)
Review all available material to you and go by what makes sense. I like to read and have recently started a study that will compare religions as well as athieism. As well, I think the huge contributor to all religions and non-religions is the state of being at the times of change. For example, when the Bible was put together, there seemingly were several books left out. Of particular interest to me is the book of Mary. My question there is why was it left out. At that time women did not have the ability to speak their minds as they do now. Is that why it was left out? If so, was there something important in there that all christians should know? If so, where does that leave christians now? Yep...there are tons and tons of questions, and I don't believe you will get all your answers out of just one source.
There are also questions about athieism, like where and how did everything begin? You can find a ton of sources about how things evolved, but not so much on where it began.
Read, look deeper than just the words, and trust your instincts.
Anyone gluten-free who could advise me? (sm)
Would love to talk to someone who has gone gluten-free and see what your symptoms were, what you are able to eat, and what your results were. I think this may be my problem. Thanks so much!
thanks for the advise, you say some very smart things - sm
though I am really not sure about the in person thing. I am serious about trying not to be killed in this, he has threatened to kill me before over some really stupid stuff (and we have a lot of guns in this house), and as this is a major thing, and he has been through this with me before....just before we married I was $12K in the hole. I paid it all off though within weeks of the wedding and we were debt-free for about 7 years (except for mortgage). He has told me before if he ever kills me, he will kill himself too....not that this is any solace to me as I really want to live. Generally he is full of hot air, but you never know what will send a person over the edge and I think this debt may be what does it for him. There are a number of extenuating circumstances that caused the debt, it was not me alone of course. He likes to spend as he pleases and I do try to stop him as much as I can but sometimes it is not possible (unless I drop the bomb of course), family illnesses, we did private school for a while too which did not help, and just got a new used car....which we owe his parent $10K for which I am paying them $500 a month for as well which is really putting a crimp on things...but he insisted we had to get rid of my reliable truck for better gas mileage....the new car has needed $800 in repairs so far in 4 months which is just wonderful. When I do drop the bomb, probably in the next month or so, I may try to farm the kids out to friends houses then give him a letter with all the dirty details and the possible solutions. I think having it all down in writing will help some. I know there will be tears on both sides, and my stress level will plummet once it is off my chest. I notice my skin problems act up when we are short on cash, then clear when we get a paycheck. I am sure my BP is jumping about and I cannot lose weight no matter how hard I try too, though I think that is a mechanism to keep him away from me as much as possible. Needless to say it is a total mess.
They usually advise Motrin and Tylenol for pain. sm
I see a lot of this in ER work, and they are never really concerned. Only the pt is concerned and in pain. Take some otc pain meds and it should go away soon.
you can give the people the facts, but the decision making process should be left to the people
This is what our country is founded on FREEDOM OF CHOICE! I'm laughing already; you are just as mortal as the rest of us, and don' even attempt to that you've never done anything in your lifetime that was unsafe or unhealthy. NOT gonna buy it.
it is wonderful to see how many people have such strong opinions about people in debt.
I thought that the purpose of this board was to be able to post without being judged unfairly or have somebody tell you how wonderful their personal life is, and therefore you are causing their life to be less wonderful with your irresponsibility. Well, the saying "walk a mile in my shoes" is a good one in this case. Since you have no personal information about the person you are lambasting because they are looking for information on their debt, you can feel superior. Had you had personal information about them, you might act in a more human manner. Consider fighting cancer for 4 years, working and being debilitated while you do, suffering the effects of chemo, going into debt to maintain your home for your children and looking for a way out of debt SHOULD YOU EVEN LIVE THROUGH THIS!! Thank you for the kind comments. To the judgmental people I say please take a step back before you judge. You do not know who you are talking to and if you knew the personal information maybe your comments would be kinder.
I get frustrated by the double standard they use when judging people. They let certain people go sa
What do you think about the voting process?
People who go around calling other people "low class"
have their own issues in life. Ignore them. Nothing like a misplaced superiority complex to make a person feel good about themselves. Like they've never done anything gauche or made a faux pas. It must be nice for them to be so perfect and live in a glass house.
For that matter, you probably saved your piggy's life by popping that mondo zit! It could have gotten infected or something.... (yes, I have a zit popping fixation myself, but you were really descriptive on that pig zit. gag LOL)
Man, you would have appreciated the time one of my relative's popped a HUGE cyst on her face. I was standing right next to her at the time and leaned back because I knew it was going to blow. It did! Big time! All over the wall, mirror and light fixture. I'm still disgusted by the thought of it 10 years later. LOL In a revering kind of way...
some people did, some people didn't. It's their choice.
x
If this helps...I know people who know people (sm)
who can make people disappear. 
Not really--I'd be lyin' if I said I never thought such things though! ;-)
IME, people don't feel sorry for fat people either
They actually have less sympathy than they do for people who have substance abuse, IME.
At any rate, I do feel sorry for Britney but the safety of her children should be everyone's first priority, then her safety. It would seem to me that all these hangers-on she has are jeopardizing that safety. It's all just very sad.
i understand
I have just become single again and have 2 kids. What I believe is that obviously we have spent so many years doing "kid stuff", going to the grocery, errands, etc. that we have a hard time hooking up with single guys because we lose sight of who we are beyond mom, household manager, etc. Try to remember or imagine what you would be doing if you didn't have kids and resosibilities or had time to do it. Whether it is rafting, reading and discussing things, being at a college class, hiking or some particular sport or interest(chess club, rock climbing, etc) you HAVE to make an effort to do these things, even if it constrained by time and $$hook up with a free group and devote a few hours a week to it. THEN eventually you'll be in the place to meet the person you would hang out with even if you weren't a mom.
"
I understand....
I worked away from home until just recently. The pressures to "donate" are horrible. My friend and I finally decided that we would allocate "X" amount of dollars for giving, once gone, the well was dry. Saying "NO" is not easy, and the repayment of debt falls in your lap.
You are probably more talented than you realize. Be creative if you work from home. Work hours while the children are asleep, or see if you can work split shifts to accomodate your children's schedule.
If you are unable to pay back on the taxes you owe right away, just attach a signed letter with your tax papers requesting a payment plan. You can set it up to reflect a reasonable monthly payment, include the first payment, and the IRS will work with you.
If you are incurring (sp?) debt, make sure that it is for something useful that is going to last for a while.
I understand what you are saying, but
I don't have a husband or significant other either, and when I did I still took out the trash, mowed the lawn, and what is snuggling? When the lump on the sofa was asked to leave, the only thing I missed was having to tell him to move to the other side.
I understand what you are saying, but did --sm
you read my post at all? How can one make *good food choices* when the govt. makes that impossible to do? I eat all organic these days, when ever possible. I eat lean red meat once a week. I eat a lot of veggies and fruits and try to find something that does not have HFCS in it...which is terribly difficult to do. It is a losing battle when all the cards are stacked against you. My vice is not food or overeating. My vice is what the govt inflicts on unsuspecting and disbelieving people who think that obesity is a choice...it isn't. and neither is diabetes or hypothyroidism. Good food choices do NOT override this condition. This condition was inflicted on me by money grubbing *professionals* who have their heads where the sun don't shine. If you think todays doctors and pharmaceuticals have our best interests at heart, you are an ostrich. Research it and do not *assume* that being overweight is a choice. it isn't. and simply making *good food choices* is not going to change that fact. JMO
He may not really understand what an IC is--sm
and he is concerned about future income, but really all he needs to be concerned with would be your income tax statement from last year. Personally I don't think he should need that type of letter, just proof of income, which would be tax statement. that is all. JMO
don't understand
If you bought a certain piece of furniture why is bidding involved and why does it have to be done on courthouse steps in the public and all that? By all means, do what the law says -- sure sounds like they're on your side. But getting a news station involved isn't a bad idea either. These people sound like crooks and the public needs to know. Even just a friend with a video camera to send a film of it all into a station with the hopes of a reporter followup to keep others from being tricked too. And I sure think you should get something for mental pain and aggravation and loss of interest on your money. 
From what I understand
nobody was "demanding" anything, they were making do just fine with the sinks. This was done because people complained about the sinks being used for this purpose. I guess I just don't get what the big deal is.
People are so afraid that immigrants are going to somehow take over the country, its like this big "us versus them" mentality- its just silly. What, are you worried that they will do what WE did when we "discovered" America to begin with? You know, we are all immigrants here when you think about it.
I understand about all that too
but they found no reason for my miscarriage and knowing all that still didn't help the pain or grief of losing the babies after trying for so long, and everybody doesn't just get pregnant again right after. I didn't. I was just blessed that God gave them to me in a diffent way
I do not understand what you mean?
A bite itself itches, you can scratch an itch but you cannot itch an itch. I would think that is a backwoodsy type statement if you said it.
I just don't understand this
First, my husband would not dare do this to me or my kids. This man obviously has no respect for anybody. And that is what I would tell your daughter's friend's parents, along with if it keeps up you'll divorce him! And I'd tell him the same exact thing. But if mine did this just once, I can assure you it would not happen again, after I got through with him.
What most of you do not understand
being as you are young and are able to work from home, years ago, well gosh as early as the early 90s, if I wanted a job and I had to have to raise children (not a single mother, a divorced woman) we had to work outside the house, did not have a choice. I am so very glad my kids are not in the toddler, preteen or teen years. The ones I see now are awful. Just in one of those box stores last night and I heard screaming, could tell not just 1 but several kids and finally here comes the mothers pushing and pulling several different ages of children along and the mothers, I guess, thought it was really cute that their kids could scream and act out like they were doing, the mothers actually smiling. Thank goodness, no more rug rats to raise.
You still don't understand. (sm)
A narcicist is not capable of being a friend. Divorcing him will be an insult to him and he will want to prove it is all your fault. Therefore you need a good lawyer to see if he can build a case to show that he is so bad for you and your children than he does not deserve visitation. You are going to need evidence, I'm sure.
Don't trust your own judgement the next time you are considering marriage - get a psychiatrist to evaluate any future husband for your own protection. You and your kids have been through enough, and I've read a lot of cases of women marrying the same type over and over again.
I understand
You have to feel that you've done everything possible to make your marriage work, so that if and when you decide to separate, it will be with the knowledge that there really isn't any other alternative for you.
The fact that your husband got excited about having a second chance is a good sign. Just don't let him slip back into his old ways. If he makes one demeaning remark to you, stop him cold in his tracks and tell him, "No more if you want this marriage to continue."
Be firm, be steady, and good luck!
I understand
But look what happened during Prohibition. And look at the availability of illegal drugs. It's a nice thought, but I don't think it would work.
I don't really understand.............
I just know nothing would keep my mom from her grandchildren, even if she stopped speaking to her children and their spouses completely.
I think that is how I understand it, but
if someone else has them,(and how did they get them?) he (OJ) cannot just break-in to that person's room and take those items back. He should have notified the cops that this person had items belonging to him, stating the situation and go from there. I guess he thinks he is above the law after getting away with MURDER.
I'm not sure I understand what you
mean by associated, but it sounds like you did not pull the file from the disk into the transcription module. I did take a look under settings and then the files tab, where it shows the types of files ExpressScribe plays and where you check the box/es of the file types you will be transcribing. I did not see the one that you mentioned there, but just wanted to suggest that you could try converting the file using a program like GoldWave (free download) to something that is compatible. I usually convert to .wma files, which have always played fine on either of my modules (Olympus and ES).
Hope that helps, and good luck!
I understand....
I'm not telling everybody to not get it, just making sure they know all the side effects. I just tend to be overly cautious! :)
Hey, now I understand about no
respect by what you just wrote. You answered my question completely.
As I understand this...sm
these crosses were erected on PUBLIC land, not privately owned land. I can sure understand you being against roadside memorials though, in your situation, but this one is different, as it is public land and not hurting anybody..however, if it is violating some sort of state or city law, the laws should be adhered to, in my opinion.
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