I don't think its rude per se - I'm in the same boat
Posted By: 40 on 2007-02-27
In Reply to: Is this right or wrong? - never been married
I constantly have people ask me why I'm not married and why I don't have children. What I find odd is the men - they will ask me "can you not have children?" I will ask them "what kind of question is that??" And the response I get is "well, women tend to have babies at the drop of a hat," or "women just get pregnant without thinking twice about it." All kinds of responses. I've even been asked if I'm a lesbian (which I'm sure I'll get pounced on, but I find that extremely insulting).
I guess the bottom line is that in this day and age, if a woman does not have a child, is not shacking up with some guy after the second date, or has never been married, then there must be something wrong with her in the eyes of society. However, try asking the woman that has 4 kids by 4 different guys why she never married the daddies or why she doesn't use contraception, and boy oh boy, stand back or run for the hills.
My answer has always been - I never met the right one. Which usually gets a response of "maybe you're just too picky."
I could go on and on about this. But think about this - the women that ask you these questions are usually the same women that say one of the following: "Men are dogs, or men are pigs" and "oh god, I couldn't imagine being single and dating. I'll take what I've got at home over your life anytime."
Makes you laugh doesn't it!
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you may not be bitter, angry, or uptight, but you are RUDE rude rude!
You talk about being attacked when you are the one calling names... yes someone called you Doctor to start with, which was pretty childish, but they were saying so because you acted so matter-of-factly about diagnosing someone saying they were just having vivid dreams, and then going off on a tangent about their Xanax use...
Xanax affects EVERYONE differently so just because your husband is a certain way does not mean that is the same for this person. I take Xanax to fly... guess what it is a LIFE SAVER! I never take it to sleep nor do I ever take it for anything else...
maybe you are being rude because you are reacting, but my guess is you will have a response to me pointing this out... and it might be rude. just a guess.
Rude people deserve a rude response-but an idea (sm)
I am very kind-hearted, and even a sucker at times but when someone is very rude and disgusting, I have no problem telling them to go away. If she doesn't want to completely cut this woman out of her life, she needs to say something like, "I have decided that I am only going to be able to have you come over on Wednesdays." She can make up an excuse like, "I am not getting enough time to myself" "I haven't had time for my other friends" or just act like she feels like she desperately needs a regular schedule, so "Wednesday is your day." See ya next week! If she shows up on a day that is not her day she can say, "Suzie Q, your day is Wednsday - I'm sorry, but I am really determined to stick to my schedule"
I was in the same boat 20 yrs ago
It was damned if you do, damned if you don't. Nerves were on edge all the time. I really wish you the best.
Here's what I did: I took our two kids and got OUT before he killed all of us. I have never looked back, never regretted having to work two and three jobs to support us. It wasn't easy, we struggled, but we were SO much happier not having to tippy-toe around him anymore.
Kids are grown now. My son sees his dad, still tries to please him, very sad. Daughter has NOTHING to do with him and won't let her daughter see him.
Sorry didn't mean to turn this into a rant or a book, it just struck a chord with me.
Not saying that's what you should do at all, just that's what I did. I will say a prayer for you all. And for those of us who have survived it. God help us.
In the same boat.....
My son got his learners in June and so far, seems responsible when it comes to driving. He doesn't like a lot of talking and no radio on. (Of course, we know teens change overnight) I am just going to let him have a learners for awhile because my insurance company doesn't charge if he has a learners. Maybe his senior year, we will allow him to start driving some and put him on insurance. But I have to agree with the other poster, 15 is very young, even though there are responsible kids out there. It is the other drivers on the road we worry about. We were driving the other day and someone pulled right out in front of my son!! I was so mad!! Good luck!!
I am in the same boat.
I saw my high school sweetheart after 20 some years. The sparks just flew again. It was a wonderful moment. We are both married with 2 children. I live out of state luckily. We are both in not so great marriages, but are staying with our spouses for the kids sake. He said he would wait for me, so who knows, maybe we will be together again some day. I really hope so.
In the same boat
This has happened to me for 7 years now. Even though we are not young, we are not ready for no intimacy! He does not seem interested in anything, just cuddling and kissing, nothing else. I get so frustrated, and it does hurt my feelings. When you talk to him about this he gets furious.
in the same boat...
I am pretty much in the same situation and can relate to what you are going through. My problems with debt started because I decided to quit a job making 45,000/yr to do medical transcription in which I am lucky if I make 20,000/yr. I could not keep up with my own personal bills and instead of confiding in my husband, I put bills on my credit cards and every payperiod swore to myself that my paycheck would increase, but easier said than done since I do VR and the pay stinks. My husband thinks MTing is ridiculous for the pay and hard work we do. I was insisting upon staying with it and had too much pride to let him know I could not pay my own personal bills. When I did finally tell him he was upset that I would put myself in debt, knowing that as a couple, our debts affect each other. I am now seeking help from CCCS, a counseling service that has a very good reputation. Just make sure you pick a reputable, nonprofit agency, and they will put you on the right track back to financial stability. Needless to say, I am going back to the work I used to do and doing MTing on the side.
Best of luck to you!
Same boat
I am in the same boat you are in. I will not be putting up Christmas lights either. I love decorating my house with Christmas lights, but not this year. 
Same boat here.
DH doesn't like pumpkin either so unless I make it to take to someone else's house, I won't get any. I can't bear a whole pie going to waste and I can't bear a whole pie going on my hips! LOL
boat next to you
I can sympathize with you. Have had problems with parotids for several years and it is terrible. No tumor was seen, but have passed a stone after a sialodochoplasty done at St. Louis. Make sure you have absolutely the best surgeon for this type of thing. Makes all the difference. Will be praying for you also. Keep us informed please.
Going out on our boat to soak up some
rays, floating on my lounge chair raft and then stopping at one of the restaurants on the lake for lunch. Yes, I use sunscreen and a lot of it. Have a canopy on the boat to sit in the shade. It is going to be hot here in the northeast too. Can't wait.
I'm kinda in the same boat
My 30+ year old stepson is supposed to be moving out today. Believe me, it won't last. He is the filthist person I have ever met and for his age is VERY naive and gullable. Won't be long before others see what I have been trying to tell them for years. He's lazy, selfish and totally irresponsible. It's just a matter of time before he gets a DUI. He totally disregards any advice or help my husband gives him and listens to his loser friends. If my husband lets him move back in.........that's the day I move out! I've got news for my husband....HE WILL BE PAYING MY RENT --- since he has the money to keep supporting his ADULT (and I say that loosely) children! Good riddins' to him! 
I am in the same boat. I have no desire to go to my in laws for sm
Christmas Eve and my husband is making us all go. It's the biggest fight every year. I am dreading it so much. I wish he would listen to me, but he won't. I don't see a long future for me and my husband. It's always his way or NO way. I should just say I am not going and not go, but IF I do that then Christmas morning will be miserable. He will take it out on me and the kids. I think he's just like them!
He pouted all day Thanksgiving because I refused to go to his mother's house where his siblings (the culprits) would be. The thing is this: They've never liked me. Never. It's been almost 10 years and everything is my fault. For a long time it scarred me, but then I realized that it wasn't me, it's them. And then to have my husband force me to be around this hateful, evil people is beyond understanding. I am NOT looking forward to Christmas eve. I swear, I just want to stay here (I've already celebrated with great friends and my family) and just want to enjoy Christmas eve and Christmas with people (my kids) whom I adore. But, it won't be that way when you have people in your lives (unfortunately) who are exactly the way you just described.
Ugggh. Not looking forward to this weekend. And to top it off, my birthday is Saturday. I told him that I wanted to NOT go to his mom's house for my birthday. That made him mad.
Oh, and don't tell me to put a smile on my face and be nice or put up with it. Until you walk a mile in my shoes where you have 3 sisters and 1 brother who think I am the antichrist, the last thing you can do is smile at these people....And I am a very kind and nice person. these people bring out the worst in me.
She is in the same boat, married and divorced twice - sm
I would not make any assumptions regarding either party. Maybe his wives cheated, maybe he did, maybe no one did and they just grew apart; maybe her husband cheated, maybe she did, maybe her DHs (both of them) woke up one day and said hey I don't want to be married anymore, lots of fish in the sea. Who knows. She will find out as she gets to know him better if he is a jerk or not (i.e. if he was the root cause of his divorce or not). My DH was divorced (first marriage and hopefully only for me) and granted I know things now that I did not know then, but she did leave him and divorce him but I see some of the reasons now and know he was not totally innocent in the whole thing, but I also know there was a lot more to it. I don't think it is just one person's "fault" for a divorce, they both contribute, generally one more than the other but both people are definitely involved (it is their marriage). I say have fun, and see where it goes, just don't get all lovey dovey and become blind, try to be smart at the same time.
Nope..no gravy boat.
Mine did not come with one either. Below are a few on ebay that might work. I like the last one too because it is round and could be used with one of your larger saucers. Hmm. I did not have S&P shakers either. Believe it or not I use these as my every day dishes. They are very, very durable, but then again I do not have children either. My mother always said, what good is china if you can only use it once a year! They do look lovely at christmas time on a gold charger plate. I also used candles shaped like pine cones and/or pine cones in the center piece. I paint also so I will probably end up feeling sorry for you and paint you one!
280110136597
140113712960
300066983736
120114143571
I love Banana Boat...
EveryDay Glow Daily Moisturizing Lotion - Hint of Color! I just bought 2 bottles today for $4.96 each, probably the cheapest there is. It works great! It gets darker every day you apply, and it's just like lotion so it goes on nicely. I'm extremely white, and this gives me a nice color without looking fake. I use medium skin color. There's also a darker one. I usually put my own peachy lotion on afterwards to take away the smell.
Thanx! Saw a boat named that once, but it suits me better!
/
Navy? On a boat with thousands of hor*y men? I don't think so. nm
d
Oh gosh, I missed the boat on this one!
I just posted what I thought was awesome, not what I was dreaming was awesome! I have no imagination.
Okay, calorie-free ice cream would be my awesome thing. With Cool Whip. Calorie-free Cool Whip.
Same boat, just too afraid to post it.
*
When I asked why it was ok for him to pick out a truck and a boat without me (sm)
he blamed it on the fact that I had bought the kids a $300 plastic pool last summer. He used that same excuse again about the shed. "you picked out a pool!" How dare I pick out anything?
He may be....but $300 pool versus a $30,000 truck, and a boat, etc., etc.? nm
x
You are missing the boat entirely and totally negative when you no NOTHING
He has more (material things) than you do and most men of 60s+. He has a home that he has worked to own -- not given to him! Material things do not mean much to me, however. I make my own living. He has an engineering and Masters degree. How many degrees do you have? He is very athletic! He has had olympic training. He is a wonderful man who MANY of you would desire and don't have. He knows that pleases a woman and EXACTLY what he wants in life.
Most important to me is that he expresses that he is a "God-fearing" man. There is NOTHING in life more important to me than that!
He has no kids -- not a priority in life for him. He is too wonderful to describe! I know more about him than you will ever know about your partner, because we COMMUNICATE.
Sorry for your skepticism. But I will take it with a grain of salt, as it deserves to be taken.
This man is an open book -- but not only that, but he hides nothing.
WOW is all I can say about him ! Have never met a man like this in my entire life! He wants to please me, and he is certainly capable of doing that.
You are missing the boat entirely and totally negative when you no NOTHING
He has more (material things) than you do and most men of 60s+. He has a home that he has worked to own -- not given to him! Material things do not mean much to me, however. I make my own living. He has an engineering and Masters degree. How many degrees do you have? He is very athletic! He has had olympic training. He is a wonderful man who MANY of you would desire and don't have. He knows that pleases a woman and EXACTLY what he wants in life.
Most important to me is that he expresses that he is a "God-fearing" man. There is NOTHING in life more important to me than that!
He has no kids -- not a priority in life for him. He is too wonderful to describe! I know more about him than you will ever know about your partner, because we COMMUNICATE.
Sorry for your skepticism. But I will take it with a grain of salt, as it deserves to be taken.
This man is an open book -- but not only that, but he hides nothing.
WOW is all I can say about him ! Have never met a man like this in my entire life! He wants to please me, and he is certainly capable of doing that.
We are in the same boat. First and foremost, file your taxes.
The penalties are huge if you file late. Once you file, it will take about a month, and they will send you a bill. We were able to get a 4-month extension, i.e., extending the due date of the balance. We only had to pay interest and some penalties for paying late - again a fraction of what it costs to file late. That did not cost anything. The next option was setting up a payment plan, and I think that cost $125 to set up plus the interest and penalties for paying late.
They really are not bad to work with, especially this year. I read an article where they have been instructed to work with people, especially in light of the bailouts for large companies. They are very respectful, much better than any creditor I have ever worked with, and as long as you are working with them, I think you'll be just fine.
Good luck to you, I'm sort of in the same type of boat
Have had many non-cancerous cysts/endometriomas removed along with one ovary. After many different opinions, the majority of doctors have recommended avoiding the surgery if possible and keeping the remaining ovary and just having yearly ultrasounds, as I am only 39, but sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off symptom-wise and not having to worry about cancer down the road if I just had the surgery. Like everything else, there are pros and cons and it is a very tough decision. I have heard many women say, oh I had one and it was the best thing I every did! Only to find out they kept their ovaries... so big difference! Please let us know how things go for you and best of luck!!!
JAWS: "I think we're gonna need a bigger boat."
*
Boat show in Urbanna on Sat. and Busch Gardens on Sunday - nm
x
Truly don't mean to be rude, but... sm
You called him a sociopath, then asked "doesn't he have any remorse or guilt?" Well, no, not if he's a sociopath. (Which I also think he is, BTW.)
That's a big part of what makes someone a sociopath/physiopath (aka antisocial personality disorder) - not having a conscience or the ability to empathize about the feelings of others, among other things. There are, (unfortunately) a lot of people in our society who are sociopaths, to some degree or other. It's pretty scary.
He's a sickening man. I've always wondered what it must be like for his two kids, being raised by the father who murdered your mother. It always seemed insane to me that he was given custody of them.
Because they are rude.
x
How rude!
So what if you misread . . . I thought the recipe you shared sounded really good, and easy to boot! I personally would probably "cook a chicken breast" rather than using canned, but then I always change recipes to suit my taste (doesn't mean I wouldn't eat the canned chicken). Anyway, I thank you for sharing.
rude
If it was me I would have stopped and said what did you say. I am sure they probably would have shut up. Then i would have asked where do you live, so I can talk to your parents. LOL! You people are telling her to consider the source but come on if it was you walking you would have been ticked off!
please don't be rude
I'm a physical therapy graduate (party working as an MT) and my wife's a nurse. These are just our initial income since we're just starting. I'm working on my state board as Physical Therapist. I would not think that you're just rude to me.
No. I think it is rude.
nm
I think it's rude...if they ask okay, if not no way!!!
nm
You are so rude....That's all I can say to you. nm
.
Once again you are rude
I don't understand why you don't think your replies are rude. She was replying to Ms. Done with what she has been through. I don't find that her case is all that different. I was reading all the posts below and actually got lost so I'll post here. I'll tell you what I have learned. When you are growing up and your parents are miserable together that is what children think a relationship is supposed to be like because they don't know any better. They think its okay to insult and belittle their spouse, they think its okay to fight all the time. It's not. I wrote in my post and I'll write it again. Children are a lot stronger than we believe. The children always come first before anything, but when you are in an abusive relationship you cannot honestly say to a person "hey, so what if your being abused the bruises are not visible, stay in, keep letting him treat you like this, because there is not a visible injury the kids don't care". You know what. The kids DO care. Kids want their parents to be happy. When the parents are happy they have so much more to give to the kids instead of having to hide the misery they are going through. Sure sometimes its hard in the beginning but kids are genuinely more happy when their parents are happy. And they will in turn learn to treat their spouses with respect. Of course someone should try counseling before just up and leaving, but if you have a spouse that writes you letters pointing out your errors and flaws and then feels they have done nothing wrong that is not healthy. If that spouse will not agree to counseling then there are another alternative and that is to leave. Do not stay in an abusive relationship and keep being abused by a spouse because you have to stay there for your kids. That was what people did in the 60s and 70s and probably before then. This is the year 2008. There are better ways to live.
would it be rude?
to just tell your family members you are making a christmas dinner and invite everyone over, no presents allowed? We just bought a house and are not in the best financial situation at the moment. I have tried hinting around at doing things like dirty santa or drawing names but no one likes that idea. So I want to scrap presents all together. I am working on Christmas day so that would be a good excuse not to visit anyone that day. We are also in a central location and that would make it easier to have everyone over to our house. What do you think?
How Rude!!!!
Good for you! The fact that she told you to "hold on" while she finished texting would have sent me right over the edge! Congrats to you for teaching her a lesson her parents obviously don't care to teach. I have 2 teenage girls and we have made that rule quite clear that they will lose ALL privileges if they even think of texting while driving or talking while driving. The phone must be turned off when they drive and we have "tested" them on it many times just to make sure they are following the rules.
How rude !
Why bother posting something so rude? Why not just ignore this thread and be on your way?
I am in no way trying to be rude,,,,,,but
what does your post have to do with this thread? I personally wanted to adopt children until I met my now husband and realzed that if I could give birth that is what I wanted to do. Feeling selfish, my brother would love to have a child but his wife does not. It is a very personal choice, and I honestly think when the time is ready you will know. If you don't feel it, don't do it. It is so okay to not want to have children. You are not doing anything wrong. I wish there were more people out there that don't want children and accidentally have them would have used protection. Do it only when you know in your heart that you are ready. Trust me, you will know when you are ready.
who is rude
Negative thoughts you are giving right back, you are no good obviously.
I didn't start it but I can always finish it, so get over yourself like you are the only one to have an opinion. people like you make me SICK
you just hate for no reason hate hate hate
you should be so proud!
They are not being rude!
You said " I think it's pretty rude of smokers to smoke inside when youre sharing with a nonsmoker anyway."
I think its really, really rude to move into a house where there are smokers and just expect them to stop smoking in the house. Because YOU don't like it. Well, maybe they don't want to leave their comfort zone, drop what they're doing and go out into whatever weather and deal with the bugs, etc. just so YOU can be all comfortable instead. Ever consider that?
And what's next - you inform them they can't eat meat in the house because YOU are a vegan, or some other fool thing?
There are few enough places left that smokers can do their thing in comfort. But you can bet every time they find one, sooner or later a nonsmoker will barge into that place and think they are entitled to punish and banish them for smoking. Save everyone some grief and wait until you find a nonsmoking house to live in!
YOU are rude
and actually they ARE desperate
did you even READ MY POST?
i NEVER ASKED THEM TO SMOKE OUTSIDE.
get it again?
I NEVER ASKED THEM TO SMOKE OUTSIDE.
They offered. I ASKED YOU PEOPLE IF IT WAS RUDE IF I ASKED THEM TO! EVEN AFTER THEY OFFERED.
what dont you get about that! and i said if they invite a nonsmoker to live with them, then i think it is rude. and by the way, they like me very much.
you talk about me getting over myself? you have no idea of the situation! MY QUESTION WAS HOW DO I GET THE SMOKE SMELL OUT OF MY ROOM, MY CLOTHES!
and i got jumped on for expecting them to smoke outside.
TELL ME WHERE I STATED "I EXPECT THEM TO SMOKE OUTSIDE NOW THAT I LIVE HERE".
YOU need to get over YOUrself you are obviously trying to be better than everyone and cut me down for something i never even did.
Not exactly sure why you think this is rude, though...
8 is a big litter for a dog and an average litter for a pig. How is this not a "litter" of babies?
They are not being rude, they just
want to tell you that you should not be lenient and give in every time to the despicable behaviour of your father.
It may be rude.
I think it is worse to be invited to a wedding for a person you have not seen in 20 years. What possible reason would they invite her except for a gift? Has she heard from the bride or groom during the whole engagement process, or did she get a call that said "hey I met a great person and they may be the one". I bet not. But when it comes time to get gifts, they send to everyone they have come in contact with since they were born.
I think the bride and groom(any bride and groom) need to think about how much cost is involved to their guests, bridal party, family, etc, when they plan a wedding and not be offended if people can't participate.
I said it was very sad, do you consider that rude?
It is a sad thing when you possibly have to leave a note, the possibility you will not be there for a child to let them know. What is not sad about that? What is rude about that? Are you sure you read the post correctly? I find it tremendously sad and stand by my first posting. As far as the person in high school you said became pregnant a second time, not trying. After having a first pregnancy she should have known the cause. Birth control usually works in cases like that, condoms, etc.
I think you are very rude. At least if you
cannot give good advice or encouragement in this case you shouldn't even comment. She is down and you trample on her. It is not true that people who cannot get a job in these times are lazy. My neighbor is a registered nurse and she is already loking 4 months for a job and did not get hired yet. She is 32 yrs old.
Regarding the eviction:
If she does not pay rent, the LL has the legal right to evict her. If he is 'nasty', a lot of them are, and he really wants her out, he can speed things up to get her out.
I would not be so harsh, maybe tomorrow it hits you.
New poster or not, you are rude. nm
m
Rude or not, we threw ourselves our
own housewarming party too.
We weren't expecting gifts. It was just a fun way to have everyone over, have fun and break the house in.
I didn't register, but a lot of people brought gifts that I happened to like a lot. If you register, I would only tell the people who ask if you are. I wouldn't pass out cards in invites. We also received a lot of gift cards as well. I just put those to use for buying school clothes though since we spent so much on the actual party.
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